#4: Health, humour, and having the final say with Denise Drysdale

What do you get when you sit down with an Australian screen legend Denise Drysdale who has worked with everyone from Ernie Sigley to Hugh Grant? You get hilarious stories about work husbands, candid conversations about ageing and some surprisingly frank advice on planning for the next chapter.

In this episode of The Midlife Shift, host Alex Brooks talks to the one and only Denise ‘Ding Dong’ Drysdale about her incredible six decades in entertainment. Denise shares intimate memories of her 35-year partnership with her beloved “work husband” Ernie Sigley and the heartbreak of watching him develop Alzheimer's later in life.

Denise opens up about why she believes health span is more important than lifespan and offers a powerful argument for why everyone should have the right to choose their own end-of-life journey.

Expect unfiltered thoughts on everything from body confidence to the importance of wills and why she’s already sorted her prepaid funeral. Denise gets real about her own health battles, including a detached retina and trigeminal neuralgia, and shares her secrets for navigating the third act of life with humour and resilience. Oh, and if you listen to the end, you’ll find out her secret to perfect roast potatoes and why she thinks it’s never too late to get a fashion deal.

Find Denise here

• Website

Citro is here to help

• How to exercise through menopause and beyond
• Could delaying menopause help us live longer?
• Dementia and cognitive decline 101
• How to nurture social connections to feel like you truly belong
• 7 top legal tips to make your will watertight
• How to make a free will online

AFTER WATCHING, PLEASE FILL OUT OUR SURVEY

Your responses will help shape upcoming episodes of The Midlife Shift with Alex Brooks. Access the survey here.

Please reach out if you need anything editor@joincitro.com.au

Transcript

You're about to hear another juicy conversation on the Midlife Shift. I'm Alex Brooks, and this is going to be having a chat with a woman who has danced, sung, entertained and made us laugh on television screens since the 1960s and it is a real privilege to talk with you, because I remember you on TV week covers all the time. And now I’m sitting on a couch with you. 

That’s cute. Yes, in the Midlife Shift. Well, I've done that a couple of years ago.

Well, I'm hoping, well, that you're going to inspire us with the way you lived and the way you smile through this, because we all know you as Denise Ding Dong Drysdale.  

I know that Ernie Sigley had something to do with the Ding Dong name, but really, come on, where does that come from? 

Well, early, when he was working at radio in the 50s, had a secretary called Denise Bell, and because of the bell, they call her Ding Dong.  So years later, and it's like probably 15 years later, and he's heard Denise, he's automatically gone, Ding Dong. And I'm really happy about it, because I love it I don't mind going, I love it. I think it's a term of endearment. But you could have me anything, and it could have stuck. So thank God it was Ding Dong

I hear your dog is DD as well. 

That's darling dog, though.

Okay, so we love a nickname in the Drysdale world.

I’ve got about 20 I think,

What else do they call you?  

Niecy, zingers, Drizzy.  

Did that come as a child that one? Or is that just 

Dad used to call me dogs bodies. 

That's not very kind.  I don't know if we'd get away. Get away with all those words today. Everything's a bit more politically correct. 

Yes, I hate it.

Which ones irritate you the most?

The fact that you can't tell Irish jokes, or all those sorts of jokes, and the Irish people don't mind them. It's the people that aren't Irish that  take exception to them. Theory love a good Irish joke, so we're not allowed to do them. 

What’s a good knock knock joke then?

I don't really know any anymore. 

You were good on the Irish jokes. But you're quite good at coming up with a funny line. I mean, you just you and Ernie, just like that (clicks fingers), right? 

Well, with Ernie it was fabulous. If we started to talk about something, I immediately knew where he was going, and if he and was the same with  me so you can't manufacture that. We had it in bucket loads at one stage,

I mean, Ernie was your work husband. That's what you've called him before, right? 

Yes, and I've worked out today before I came to do this, 35 years together, we were together on and off work here. 

That's more than any of my marriages have lasted. 

I reckon that's why he stayed married to Glynnis, yes, because I spent more time with him.

But you did have a real husband too, and two boys as well, right? 

Yes, Chris Milne, 

Did they love Ernie, too?

They didn't have much to do with him,  they didn't have much time with him because we lived in the country for a start, so I used to lived in the country when I was married with the two kids. So we were an hour and a half out at Neerim, so they didn't go to work with me. 

Okay? So you had your own private world. As a working mum, 

I was, I was very lucky Chris was a great dad. He was a writer, so he could do that from home as well. 

You’ve got to love respite from the kids 

I know that. I know you mums, you love your kids, but Isn't it lovely when you haven't got just maybe a day or two. 

It really, it actually, really is. (6:48) And now you both had a hit song. You and Ernie had a hit song with Paula. You sang, Paul. He sang, Hey, Paula, right? 

Yes. 

So was that one of your favorite songs to sing? Because I don't know if many people know that you were quite the singer of these 60s, right? 

Well, I grew into a voice. I lied about singing. I got myself into trouble a couple of times, but I grew into a voice. (7:11) But how Hey Paula came about is we did a rock and roll show, and Ernie said ‘I think we should do a song together’. Okay, so we did Hey Paula, and we got a great reaction to it. He said, I reckon we should do some more and we'll give the money to charity. And he's gone COUGH COUGH and we gave the money to Lifeline. We worked out later. We could have bought a house with the money.

Well, still, at least you made money into music, right? 

Yeah. But the thing is, Lifeline is still going and maybe we had something to do with it. 

Sadly, Ernie is not still going now, no,

He's passed. Yeah, he's up there watching down and looking, I do hope, there is a heaven cos he'd be up there as he talked to all the people that he loved. And this is what I hope like. I've just had friends. He was 80. Oh no. He drank red wine and smoked and not a green thing pasted his lips. And so he went and but he used to do WC Fields,  and I hope that he went straight to heaven and was having a conversation with WC Fields, you see. And 

Now Ernie was a very funny guy …

And not only that very intelligent, he had to be intelligent to be funny, but he had the most amazing memory. He knew every football, cricketer, politician, and he used to reel off things. I'll give you an example. We had Eartha Kitt on to do an interview to do, and the publicist said she’s not in a good mood. And when she sat like this, and we're there, and Ernie goes, ‘Oh, it's such a pleasure, Miss Kitt to have you on the show. And I remember your first record. It was on WG or whatever, and it was, you know, don't look at me now’. And she's gone and she's gone. He won her over in two seconds because of his knowledge. Yeah, a beautiful thing. 

Now, it must have been brutal to watch someone with that intelligence have Alzheimer's

That was the hardest thing. That was, yeah, his mum went like that. He used to talk about it all the time. I hope he didn't talk himself into it. But  the last time I saw it, the last time I saw him, I went in, I sang the whole of Hey Paula, and he stopped and he just looked at me. I sang the whole song, and then he got recognition, and he came over and gave me a great big hug, and he was really emotional. And then we're sitting on the bed, and 10 minutes later, he said, ‘you remind me of somebody?’ And I said, Delvene Delaney. And he went, No, no, not her. I said, Denise Drysdale? And he said, yeah, that’s who you remind me of.

Oh, that's a beautiful story, though.

Lovely way to finish, really beautiful. Well, that's how I remember that last time I saw him.

You’ve said your worst nightmare would be to be alive but dead.

Well, when, when I say that, I mean quality of life, 

Yes, because healthspan is more important than lifespan

Of course. I feel like I've had the best life of anybody I think. I've travelled, and it’s always been for work, and I've been to places that other people haven't, and done things that other people haven’t done, all through the magic of telly. So, yeah, I don't want to be here  if I'm not of full mind. And can I get really heavy? 

Yeah,

I believe they mucked around with the birth process so much. So they can do that at that end, in beginning, like you can have a baby in a dish if you want that now. You can choose the sex or something, but at the end of the life, but at the end when I feel that I've had enough and I want to go, I should be able to go. I shouldn't have to get permission from anybody else. 

I do agree. And I do think the states agree. I'm not sure where Queensland's at with it. They do have voluntary assisted dying laws, 

Yeah, but it's, you've got to see two psychiatrists and everything. I know whether I I'm good or bad, I don't need somebody else to tell me, they’re not in my mind.  So I get really angry. I know that there's a worry that people will say, oh, there's old mum

They’ll pop you off

Pop mum off we’ll get the house.I think I should be able to make the decision. 

I agree. And have you spoken about this with your boys? 

Oh, yes, I told them to get the Dunlop pillow.

Dunlop won’t give you the brand ambassadorship now

And don't forget - just sign the Do Not Resuscitate form at the hospital. 

That's what I was going to ask you about, right? 

Because if you're and this has happened to my girlfriend just recently, her husband went into the nursing place, and he didn't do the Do Not Resuscitate. And he had a heart, you know, replacement heart.

What a second heart? 

Oh you know, the heart transplant, and the heart kept going, because the mechanics of it, mechanics and so in theory, in theory. So they just had to wait. And  and wait and wait, so that, that is why one important thing, but do not resuscitate it if you're like me. And also a will, if you don't, if you don't leave a will, if you leave it in a terrible mess for somebody else to clean up. 

That's right. Even the state will get part of it.

But if you don't think you've got anything, you will have something that somebody else wants. So make sure it goes to the right person. 

Yeah, so we've done a few stories like that on Citro. So the will is pretty important, and a lot of people now are also making arrangements for their pets after death, which is really important. 

I’m hoping DD goes with me. I feed him the same food, so I reckon we should be ready to go at the same time. He loves a bit of vegemite toast, yes, and he had sweetcorn. Chicken and sweet corn soup.

He might want dim sims next.

We share everything. He’s five and a half now. There's plenty of people who will fight over him.

And you also need this thing called an advanced sort of care directive. So the Do Not Resuscitate is one piece of it. But depending on which state you live in, you sort of, I think you go to the Feds, there's a federal government website that allows you, gives you all the information on really, yeah, so you can really spell stuff out, so that even if your kids do want to pop you off to  get your house, it's there and official.

I don’t mind. I’ve got a prepaid funeral.

Very good. 

That was a present from someone.

That’s a very uncheery present.

No, it was the man I did some ads for the funeral. 

It was a freebie. 

The thing is, he picked me up. He was very wealthy  and I won’t say the name. He picked me up in the Bentley or Rolls Royce or something, took me to lunch and was talking and said, I've got a present for you. And I thought, oh, a bracelet, something like that you know, and he said prepaid funeral

I bet your kids are happy about that.

They went great. The last bit of the puzzle. You've got your house. You've got your super. And you’ve got your prepaid funeral.

I wanted to ask you about super, because the TV world was sort of notorious for short term contracts, right? Yes, and you probably never got super in the 70s is my guess, I don't know. I had to ask how it worked. 

I was lucky. I had a fabulous accountant and the firm had a secretary called Mrs. Innis, and she set me up. They set me up with a super fund. I think it was about 1975 

Oh, very good. I’m impressed

I'm a saver. 

That's good

So I had that going from 75. That’s 50 years

That's really good.And so what does the word retirement actually mean to you? 

Nothing, yeah, nothing, 

because we don't really want to retire from living, right? 

No. The thing is, it's different now. When you retired, you either went home, and sat, or fished, or did something like that, and then you went into the home, that's not like that. Now that's not it's all different. All the over 50s places are getting people up and running. So it's, it's the start of living if you move into assisted accommodation, or those little villages or apartments. Some of them are just wonderful. That's a new, it's a new start to the third part of life

That’s right. It’s the third act and that’s usually the best one.

I've worked at a lot of places, and never. Only one person came up to I don't like it. I said, Oh, that's no good. I said, How long have you been here? Three weeks

She just hadn’t settled in yet

I see them and say are you friends. And how long have you been friends, only since we moved in here? And you look at them and you think, they've been friends forever.

They are nice stories. Bette Davis said, ageing is not for sissies. 

No, it isn't. 

You’ve had this thing, and I hope I pronounce it correctly, trigeminal neuralgia

Yes, lovely, yeah.

Well, it's, it's a hard thing to remember how to pronounce, but I believe it's probably even harder to live with, right? 

It’s a terrible affliction because it comes, it doesn't, it doesn't discriminate. It just comes whenever it likes. I've been in the middle of interviews, and I've had to, have to say, I'm sorry. I have to stop, I'm sorry. And can you ring me back in 10 minutes? Because it just cripples you.

Describe what happens It’s an inflamed nerve 

It's the nerve hitting on the artery. So what they did, I had a brain operation.

Intense

I know I put it off for about a year and a half. I was petrified, but they went in, the incision back here, and the pain went straight away, And I said to the doctor, did you learn sewing from the nuns? Because it was the neatest thing I've ever seen in my life. 

Oh yeah. That’s the kind of

But it was just amazing. It was just amazing. 

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry to hear that you go through that.

people go through worse.

You've also had a detached retina. 

Oh, this. I'll go through it. I got the, I did the knee first knee replacement, and I think in to get that done. And then I went cloudy, and I went I ended up calling the ambulance, and the gorgeous guy in the ambulance said I'm not taking you to emergency. My mum works at spec savers. Sit down there and at nine o'clock in the morning she'll get you into a specialist. So I got into the specialist at 12 o'clock that same day, and I was operated on the next day, if I hadn't have, he said, I would have lost the sight in my right eye. And then I had my knee replacement, and I had to sit up because of my eye. Then I got blood clots and then I got all these black dots and they didn't know what they were. I think that was just my body reacting to all the things. Then I had a call dislocated my shoulder, and bruised all down here. And then what else? The trigeminal, I think that's about. A bad back.But that's just about it. You just get niggling pain. 

What's worse: a bad back or bad knees?

Bad anything, yeah.

And so in terms of keeping active, looking after your health, once you've had these brushes with  - what did you call them? You called them something like the horrible book  medical emergencies book or something

Oh I went from A-Z of Dr James Wright’s medical book. We used to have him on the show, and Ernie had this as disease, yes, and again, one of those two used to go, I think I've got this. And then look it up. And look it up in the book. He always had something.

You see, I used to ask my friend Natasha, who I've had on this podcast as well. She was a doctor, and when we were students, I'd go into her medical books just to look at the pictures, because they were so interesting. I've never seen I didn't realize that men could get really inflamed testicles that were

Ernie claims that when he ate kiwi fruit that happened to him.

Did he really claim that on TV?

That was a good thing to talk about. Nothing was sacred, nothing. Yeah,

They couldn’t cancel you. There was no social media to shut you down back then.

And we used to have advertorials in the show. We'd have four in the show an hour, and then they sold the show to Sydney and Brisbane, and we used to go to the different states to do them. And sometimes they didn't have an advertorial for a slot, and we just shout out to the camera, someone give us a give us a subject. Let's say golf. So we talked about golf, but one day and it went to air, and one day there was a one day, a gap and Ernie and I just sat there, and I just stared at one another, then looking around the studio for the five minutes that it should have been 

And did that go on TV

Yep it went on air.

No, that is hilarious. Now, I did tell you about this, go onto YouTube and you search ‘Ernie Sigley farts’. Now I don't want to speak ill of the dead

Is it under that title?

Yes

A pop. 

Is that the word used in your family?

I wish they’d use that word now. You said another word.

So the fart word needs to be canceled? Bring back Irish jokes. So my dad used to pleasantly call it a farfy.

That’s nice. I don’t mind that. It's so harsh. It's a harsh word

But you just kept the show together all the men around you, I think there were three other blokes on camera at the same time. They're all losing it, behaving appallingly. And you are such a pro, you're just keeping on going, looking at the camera and talking through it, yeah, Is that really why he loved you so much? Because you saved him all the time. 

Well, I must say, He saved me a couple of times.

And how has it been to watch yourself on screen over so many years? 

I try not to

Because none of us, like none of us looking back and going. Oh God, I don't act like that anymore. And you probably didn’t like how you looked back then, either 

That's the irony of my life. I worried about my weight all of my life. And then, just recently, somebody showed me a photo when I was 30, I was stick thin. I still had boobs. You know, you think you're this ginormous creature.  I've sat there the last month. I was exhausted from last year. I did so much work. I was so lucky to have the work, but I was exhausted, so I just sat and I wanted to binge telly. I drank, I ate ice cream cones, a roulade that you get from Aldi, that's caramel.

Oh, what's that one called? 

I don't know 

I love Aldi.

It was just before Christmas they had them, but I did look the other day and they’ve still got them. To die for. Actually you could die, they’re that rich. What else was I having marshmallows, those with coconut on those. And I just ate for the last month, and I reckon I put on, I didn't put on weight, but I've just sort of started, do you still,

You were such a great little dancer, right? 

Yeah, not bad? 

Well you you did it from the age of three and a half. I mean, you trained for that all your life. Did you do any dancing these days? 

I do sit down dancing. 

Is that like chair yoga? Can you teach me how to do that. (cut at 25:11 to remove Jewish and Catholic talk and start again at 29:01)

Okay, let's move on. Is it more important to have a good hairdresser, or a good dresser,?

In my case, a good dresser. Because I’ve been able to do my own hair for years.

Your hair is so good 

I put it in rollers - there’s only about 10 rollers - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, 9, 10, one in the fringe, 11, and I just take it out, and then I just go like that, and everybody hates me.

I know I do. 

I'm so lucky. I realize how lucky 

It’s such good hair. And we've done a few stories on Citro, because sometimes women after that thing called the menopause - which isn't really a pause, it's a duration thing - some women experience really bad hair thinning and hair loss. Your hair is still really quite luscious at

I reckon I went through menopause at the age of 16, I was really hot. Dad had a chicken bar and I used to sit with the chickens to get cold on the hot days. Now I live up here on the Gold Coast, and when the kids come over and it’s really hot, they bring cardigans, because I’ve got the airconditioning on 17.

So you moved up here even though you're a hot bod? Melbourne's freezing most of the time. 

When I lived in Neerim where it used to get snow sometimes in winters. And snow on Mt Baw Baw at Christmas. So I was, yeah, most had the windows and doors open and when people would come over they’d ask could we could just …

Oh, you're so funny. Now I want to talk to you about your Logie. Yes, because it is such great vision. I've got the clip. It's so beautiful. You win in 1975 …

1974 presented in 75

and John Wayne presents it. Now, did you think at that time that John Wayne was really old?

No, didn't think about it. No, no, because I've grown up with him and he'd been on the screen for for years. No, he was just, you know, a legend. So I'll give you the back story to that. When I started, when I came out from England, I had nothing, I did a couple of stage shows. And when Ernie got the show, they asked me to do comedy sketches in the afternoon, which I did. Then they asked me to do the wheel. I was with him at the wheel and the barrel, and I did that, and I didn't have a car or anything. And I used to go to channel nine taking two trams. I had to get and one night, after I've done the wheel, and I walked up to the tram, someone stops me, one of the producers stops me and says ‘What are you doing’. I said, ‘I'm going home’. ‘Why are you  walking?’. I said, ‘I'm walking up to the tram’. ‘Anyway, we can't have you out on the road at this time’. And then I got cab charges. Within six months of doing that show, doing that show, I had managed to buy a car. 

Well done

And so in 1974, I got a car. I got a car. I had work and other work because I was doing singing jobs as well. And then to get the Logie the following year from John Wayne, it was like from just from down there up to there. 

So that's one of those moments, isn't it? And careers are kind of like that, right? I just like, you have really great spots or then it goes up or it goes down again or it doesn't move. But for you, was that the highlight times of your career? Or were there other times?

No, there's, been other times. Like, I interviewed Hugh Grant, yeah, and Morgan Freeman. 

Love those …

I’ve loved all of those. So there's all these highlights all along the way.  Every time I get a job, every time I get off the phone, I go ‘Yes!’. Still

Do you work just because you love the work you do?

Yes. But not only that, every job I do, I think, this will be the last job and that, that started from the 1960s on. But I've been lucky, because being so young and being at the television studio from I was 10, meant they knew what I did, and so when something came up, they'd say, ‘Get her. She'll do it’. If it was hanging off the ceiling or jumping out of a window or something, they knew I'd do it, right?

So you were the go to girl

Yes, I was at the top of the desperate list. And they'd go through who they wanted and they’d all be busy so they’d say ‘get her’.

You have been an absolute staple of Australian cultural life, like you really have.

I know I have been the luckiest person, as far as work is concerned. I've always been doing something, even if I wasn't on national television. 

Yes, that's true, and you still do pro bono stuff. You do lots of different things. 

I'm actually about to get involved. It's a group called View view up here, and they work with the Smith Family, obviously. So that's the work I want to do. I never thought Australia would be in the position of having to get, an ad up because kids can't afford a uniform or shoes or an excursion. Not in Australia, we're so rich. I feel that we’ve let the generations down

And do you feel like the divide between rich and poor is getting harder? 

I think, I think so, it’s harder for kids to get a house. But having a house isn't everything. You know, like  in Europe, owning a home is not a priority, where it's always been a priority in Australia.

Yes it has it really  

In Europe they build houses with no kitchens because they don’t cook.

Do you like cooking?

Love it. 

That's what I thought. What's my favorite meal? What's your go- to meal?

The kids will normally ask for a roast. 

Really?

They get all the bits.

What's your secret roast trick? 

The potatoes: microwave them till they're half done, then get a bag with flour and salt and pepper, bang the potatoes in the flour and give them a little bash, and then they get those crunchy bit and straight into hot fat. 

Ah, okay, that's the best potatoes. 

They're just delicious. So they know they get all that crunchy bits. So then they get all the veggies, roast veggies, steamed veggies, onion and tomato, cauliflower cheese, homemade mint sauce. If it's lamb

You do the whole thing Clearly you like it. 

I love it. 

Now, just back to the Logies for a minute. That's in the clip I saw you with John Wayne, you're hilarious because you say, I don't know whether say ‘stick em up’ or ‘Hello’. And you did also say, I'm going to take my shoes off, because this is the smallest I'm ever going to look on TV

I was a bit lumpy round about then

I don't think you were lumpy

I think I was. But weight was more of a thing then. 

Yeah, it was more than it is now. Yeah, we see more body positivity. 

We see more people - diversity - exactly as they should be

Yeah, that's right.

Like, if you're born skinny, good luck to you

Some people were born with good hair,

I got good hair

And you got all the other bits that have made you the staple of our screen

Staple? That makes me sound like bread.

So at the Logies, you can see that, you know, your hair looks great. You're in a lovely little dress. But these days at award shows, you know, people get dressed to the nines

Or undressed. I’m always amazed I've gone with Jessica Rowe. You know she's. I'm really, really good friends with her now. And the last couple of years, we go somewhere to find something, and then they've got, I think it's, they've got Romance was Born. Yes, the labels anyway, you go there, and she's got lined up about 15 dresses in a size eight or ten.

She got that skinny gene

But see the thing is, she loses weight when she gets anxious.  But anyway, we've got 15 dresses, and she just can put anything on and it fits and looks fabulous. And of course, I'm scrounging around.

But did you get many offers in the 70s? You know, did people want to dress people back then? 

I've been dressed by everybody … Oh, over the years, Norma Tullo in the 60s. You wouldn't even remember her. Sally Brown in the 70s, there used to be - what else - Carla Zampatti. I've worn everybody's clothes over the years. And just recently, I wore a dress, which is an Orientique. They saw it. They saw the photo and I've got a clothing deal at the ripe age of 76. Well, no one's ever offered that before. I couldn't believe it.

I think people think that older women used to be very invisible

But not anymore. No, I saw a show in the 1960s where they've got the overcoats on, the hats on and the brooch here, that was your 50s.  You don't see women like that anymore.

You know the Golden Girls. They were only in their early 50s, early 50s when they were on the screen. That's, that's what the age they were meant to be. But they seemed so much older, obviously. Because I was younger, but generationally, yeah, the older people were always different. There's an otherness.

I don't, I don't think I feel or think like that. You know who I feel for at the moment is Anthony Hopkins, and he's 87 he's in his house and he's gone down in LA (bushfires)

Oh, really

That would be awful at 87 like, he's probably got another house somewhere, but that's okay, but you can imagine the treasures that he would have? Like things from movies and everything. I think that's the sad thing, yeah, a house can be built, but not those special things and special photos, anybody that’s lost a house, you’ve still all those little treasures. 

And I do think those do become more important as you get older, because they're like landmarks of good things that happen to you. 

We were talking about this yesterday, about the Logies, because they're 50 years old.

Where do you keep your Logies?

They're next to next to a thing of Johnno Coleman, who passed away. And also there's, I've got my stamp. I was on a stamp. They gave us a replica  and it's gold. 

So you’re like the Queen? You’re on a stamp?

Talking about highlights. I thought you had to be able to play cricket or football or be a mountaineer and climb a mountain to be on a stamp but

But you just had to be Ding Dong?

I was in the greatest company of all: Ray Martin, Bert, Kerri-Anne Kennerley, Daryl and myself. And that was all because of Peter Someone - I can’t think - he worked at Channel Nine as a producer - when they asked him about it, he was responsible for me getting that, and I was only so that was the only time in my life, really,  when I felt likeoh God I wish mum and dad were still alive. They would have been over the moon.

Because your parents would have to be very busy sending you to dance lessons from the age of three and a half. And dance lessons cost more back then than they do now.

Yeah, but they had a pub.

They just wanted free childcare.

That's about what it was, because the six o'clock swill and Saturdays were worse. It was in Port Melbourne, and there were always fights breaking out. So I went to dancing. That's why I started dancing. Because it gets me out of Port Melbourne. 

I stayed in Port Melbourne at Christmas and it's not so rough anymore. Very wwish, lots of designer dogs, lots of very swish pubs doing bistro meals, very tasty. So there's a pub that is near the train line, train line, and they have a little fenced courtyards 

I used to play in those trees. There was a milk bar where you get for threepense a square cone and ice block. Oh, homemade. 

Oh, wow, yeah. They still have lots of milk bars in Port, Melbourne. I went to quite a few of them open on Christmas day. Yeah, hard working those milk bar owners. Let me tell you. Now, let's talk about travel. Are there places you still have to visit? 

I'd like to go back to Japan, but I think I've left my run too late because it's too busy. 

Isn't everyone in Japan?

The last time I was there was 1969 so I think it would have changed just a little bit. But the thing is, I've traveled, I've traveled a lot, and to Mongolia. I've treked the Himalayas, yes. So I've done everything. I've got that that I want to do, and I've been lucky to do all of Australia, through work, going to different places, and lots of Asia, lots little bit of America and Europe. I feel like a fish out of water.

So you don't like Europe?

They don't like me. 

Oh, come on, how do you know? 

Because you can tell when somebody … I'm always nice.

It’s cos of your Irish jokes

In France, just instantly by going to a restaurant with somebody else, and you'd stand in, they wouldn't take it to a table, and then when you did get to a table, they just left you. They didn't come up and take your order. They didn't give me a napkin, I had to get up and get mine. I was really, really nice, but I don't know maybe it was the accent too, too Aussie, yeah, 

Or maybe they confused you for American.

Ah, that could have been it

That’s what people tell me about the French. 

They hate the Americans?

So what about your favorite friend to travel with? Or is it a relative? Who would you ideally go on a trip with if you were going to go away?

If it was with work? I’ve got quite a few people. But if, if, if I was on my own, I’d probably want to take the dog. You know what I hate? I hate when there's two couples, and you've gone away and hired a house and everything, and then you've got to work out what you have to eat, are you going to eat out or eat are you going to do this or whatever. I hate that. I’d rather pay for it all and then have a fight over the bill.

Why is that do you think?

Don't know. I just hate it. No, but with me, I can eat when I want, drink when I want, and get up when I want to get up. So I'd hate, I'd sound a bit selfish. But if I have to travel with anyone, I would travel with Jessica, but she's got a husband and two kids. So when she goes away. She goes with them

 Oh, not you.

Never mind

And now talk to me about your kids and grandkids, because you have two boys

Two boys all growing up in the country. We built a house at of bluestone and around the house, when it rained, around the house was all mud. So it rained a lot. It was just red mud. So they’d go out and play and I’d hose them down before they came in. So now they've grown up, and there's Rob's got one Bodhi who’s 13, who’s gorgeous. He's was just a bugger when he was six. Bring back the strap. He worked out because at school now, if they play up, they send them home. And so he worked out at six and seven that if he threw the furniture around, they rang down and their parents would go get them. So in the end, I said to this teacher, ‘I said, don't ring the parents, ring me. I'll come down and I sit outside the classroom with him and do the work that he should be doing’. 

Look at you. Look at you. Is being a grandparent more rewarding than being a parent?

It's just different. Like I took Bohdi to the dentist the other day. That was interesting. He's 13. We don’t worry about our teeth enough.

No, we don't. 

So I said, Right, I'm taking him. That's my job. That'll be my job. So I've got that done but the other two - they are 3 and 7 - the 7 year old is on  the spectrum, so he's a little surprise packet. Never know what you're going to get. He does the puzzles, and, yeah, he'll be fine. And he goes to normal school, with the special teacher, a special needs teacher, and he's done so well in that situation. But then I got Heidi, and then I’ve always been surrounded by boys: boy dogs, boy, this. And I waited for this little girl, and I said, I want to do her room. And I got the bunnies and little butterflies and everything. She's like an artillery tank.

So she doesn’t appreciate your butterflies?

No. I'll give her something really lovely and everything. The next thing, I've just put it on, and she's wiped her hands down it with chocolate or yoghurt. And then Pete brings her around for a couple of hours and I say   take them home now. Don't clean up. Just take them now.

They are whirlwind, right? 

Well, it's his bloody fault. He should have had them earlier.  He's 44

I know, but we do have our kids a lot later now.

Yeah, but you've got to think of the old parents here, because I can’t pick them up if something happens. Yeah, they're too heavy. 

Backs are very precious, right?

Exactly. Especially mine.

Alright, we're exactly going to do something now first up. I'm going to give you  two choices, and you're going to choose instinctively, the one that comes to mind. So I might interrupt you, because I can't help myself when I'm curious, but the first one, first choice I'm going to give you is: wine or cocktails?

Cocktails,

What’s your favourite?

Japanese slipper

What’s in a Japanese slipper?

Midori, cointreau, lemon juice and ice and a maraschino cherry. 

I was out with a friend of mine, and she ordered this thing called a buckfast 

What on earth? Is a buckfast.

It's a red wine with tonic water. 

Yuk.

My friend says they’re fantastic but don't go up to the bartender, because after three if you ask for a buck fast, you can get the consonants around the wrong way. Now I'm going to ask you some more choices. Okay, pelvic floor or dance floor. 

Dance floor. Okay, you said ‘dahnce’, we say dance.

I grew up in Adelaide. We say dance. We say

Dance and pastie

And what else do you have in Melbourne? 

We call it potato cakes, not potato scallops.

And what about  in Adelaide, we call it fritz. In Sydney, they call it Devon, but you call it berliner or something

No, it’s strazz. You knew it was somewhere over there.

Okay, dogs or cats

Both

I knew you’d say that. Grandchildren or dogs?

Dog

Gold Coast or Melbourne?

Gold Coast

Social media or TV

TV

Spend or save?

Save

Bum or face?

What am I doing to them?   

So there was this rule about weight loss that you could either have a big bum and a good face, or you'd lose weight so you'd have a skinny bum, but then your face would start sagging. So it was this sort of rule, as to what do you try to save more: bum or face?  

I don’t think I’ve thought about it.  haven't had anything done. I think I've been good for my age, but I've started to get those lines. And then just recently, this is last year. I think it had to do with being sick. And you know, when you're sick it shows on your face, only started to do that where I could just …

That’s great. My girlfriend started that when she was 20,

No. When I see the youngies getting it done, it’s just ridiculous. Getting done. Ridiculous. 

Well, why? 

Because the face will fall apart at 55.

That’s exactly right. And you see women with so much filler in their face and then it all falls down, and then you think you're going to look better, because, no, 

I don't think you can get filler out. 

I don’t think you can. You can dissolve it so it's a bit like a tattoo, right? It costs less to get it on and more to get it out later.

Just don't do it unless you're older. And then just do a little bit.

Exactly

I like to recognize people.

Helpful, very helpful. Okay, now I'm going to give you some statements that may or may not be outrageous, and you will just answer yes or no, so you don't have to make a choice like last time. Working is better than retiring. 

Yes

Gray hair is better than wrinkles.

I don't want gray hair. 

So that means you’d say no, 

No. Because I used to be dark, now I’m blonde and I love it. 

Do you wish you’d done it earlier?

No I don’t. It’s just the perfect timing 

Good on you. Dancing is better than yoga. 

Oh yes, dancing, 

Okay, love is better than sex. 

Love, yes,

A good bra is better than shapewear.

(Laughs)

Next question

Do you want to see what I’m wearing? I don’t wear a bra if I can get away with it. Even when I was doing Studio 10 if there was a top or a dress I was wearing, I would think ‘I can get away without wearing a bra’. Can’t stand them.

They are so tight, right?

Let's not go there. I'll show you when we're finished. 

Lucky it's an audio experience. Mostly. Okay, old is better than young.

Ugh. Yeah, I think, Oh, I wouldn't like to go back. I wouldn't like to go back. So I think older.

Your ‘young’ is all recorded for everybody to see, yeah. 

But the thing is, is that saying you can't put an old head on young shoulders if you went backwards, like Benjamin?

Benjamin Button

Yeah sometimes I wish I could go back. No, I don't. I don't wish i could go back. I’m happy with the way it is. There’s been a lot of turmoil to get here.  But there's none now

No one gets off scot free, right?  

Everybody out there has got a story.

That's exactly right. And what advice would you give yourself if you could go back to talk to that Logie-winning girl in the brown dress in front of John Wayne?

I'd go back further, and I'd go back and say ‘don't worry about your weight’. 

That’s a good one

Because I used to step on the scales at least five times. Yeah, I was one of those. I gave them away about 10 years ago.

Never felt better?

Yeah, I know when I’ve put on weight.

It is a real struggle for some women. And I do think the 70s and 80s were really brutal about women's bodies. The men were in charge of the advertising, and all the models on TV were stunning, looking and beautiful, and the men were - oh, hang on.

That’s the same. Men can age. There’s still stuff like that.

This is my last one. Are the best things in life free?

I think one of the best things in life is health. It doesn't matter what you've got, how much or how little, if you haven't got your health, you've got nothing.

I think that's a very fair cop. And on that note, I'm going to wrap this up. How did I go for time? Oh yeah. Right on. Thank you so much for spending time with me today.

It's been a pleasure. I hope that you've learned a couple of things 

I have. You are a very wise person. What am I going to call you - DD, Ding Dong, dry-see

Drizee. Niecey is the softest one. What do your grandkids call you? 

Nana neice. 

That's a bit of a tongue twister.  A bit like buckfast.

Thank you for your time

Thanks Alex for having me on the Midlife Shift. 

 ENDS