Second Act Sessions
After navigating a major life transition, Stephanie Carmody dives into a new chapter of life with zero filters in Second Act Sessions, sharing the chaotic, hilarious, and sometimes painful road to finding peace, love, and purpose. Driven by deep curiosity and a passion for learning, she invites guests from all walks of life for engaging discussions on a wide variety of topics. From the messy to the inspiring, each episode explores what it means to start fresh with intention, faith, and a renewed sense of self. Buckle up and join the conversation on this bi-weekly lifestyle podcast where empowerment, authenticity, and real-life stories take center stage.
Second Act Sessions
From Hollywood to Healing: A Conversation with Randy Spelling
In this episode of Second Act Sessions, I reconnect with someone I met over 20 years ago while living in Los Angeles—Randy Spelling. Our conversation is a heartfelt catch-up, but also a powerful look into his second act: from growing up in the Hollywood spotlight to walking the hard road of addiction and eventually finding deep purpose as a life coach.
We talk about what it really means to start over, how to move through pain and find purpose, and why helping others has become the cornerstone of his work.
This episode is full of life lessons, honesty, and encouragement for anyone navigating their own transformation. Whether you’re in recovery, craving a more meaningful path, or simply curious about the power of second chances—you’ll be inspired by Randy’s story and the wisdom he’s gained along the way.
To learn more about Randy Spelling and his life coaching work, visit https://randyspelling.com/ or follow him on Instagram at @randyspelling - (https://www.instagram.com/randyspelling/?igsh=ZnR1Yml0anA0eWZj#.)
This is Second Act Sessions with Stephanie Carmody, a podcast celebrating second acts in life about embracing change, questioning the status quo, and having conversations that really matter. If I've learned anything, it's that your second act is yours to define. No matter what chapter you're in, your second act can be the most powerful yet. Welcome to Second Act Sessions. Welcome, Randy. I'm so excited to have you here today. We were just chatting about how important you've been in my life recently through whatever I've been going through. So I'm so excited to have you join us today.
SPEAKER_00:I'm so excited to be here, Stephanie. And thank you for sharing some of that feedback of the content being helpful.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, yes, it is. And I know I mentioned in the introduction that you and I go way back. We met years ago, 2001 or 2002. I was in Los Angeles. We had a mutual friend. And I'm just laughing that how it's kind of come full circle of me having a podcast, you being a life coach and also having your own podcast. And here we are. So thank you again. I'm just thrilled to have you
SPEAKER_00:on. 2001. You know, when you say that, there's there's a part of me that goes. Uh-oh. That was a very tumultuous time in my life, which I'm sure we'll get into. But that was certainly my first act.
SPEAKER_01:Actually, and that's what I did want to get into. Obviously, we know you're a life coach now. A lot of people know who you are. And you have your own podcast now, Oldish, which I love, by the way. But I wanted to go back. And from where we met, like you just mentioned, I was in my 20s. How old were you at that age? Probably around the... 2000.
SPEAKER_00:Let's see. In 96, I was 17, 18. So, yeah, probably 22, 23. I mean...
SPEAKER_01:Right. Same. So I think we're around the same. So as we mentioned, we met, I'd love to kind of go back and really touch upon where you were at your stage in your life, obviously. And we talked about your upbringing, you know, you grew up sort of in the spotlight, so to speak, with your father and your sister and navigating that. But then when we had briefly met through a mutual friend, you know, I think you were like, I remember you were just like, you were fun and you were with a bunch of your buddies. But I know you had some rough patches in your life that you've overcome. So I'd love to maybe kind of start there and kind of how that was, you know, I guess a trajectory for your life.
SPEAKER_00:Sure. Yeah. So back, um, I don't know the exact, you know, the exact situation going on, but yeah, that, that was, that is when I started to become entrenched in addiction. So I would say my addiction, I mean, my addiction probably started when I was 13 and I first drank alcohol and I was like, Ooh, I feel, I could feel different, but it didn't really get bad and take hold i think until about 21 so right around the time that i met you i was in it for uh for a little bit and it it actually just got worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and um it led me down some really dark roads i was trying to function i was trying to find who i was and sort of find what my mark was going to be on the world at an early age of 22, 23, and figure it all out. And the addiction, I would say, is the symptom of needing a coping mechanism, and that became my coping mechanism. And what it helped me to cope with, it anesthetized me, it numbed me, it made me... I thought it made me not feel. Didn't work. But there was that temporary, I don't have to sit in stillness and feel all the things that I haven't felt my whole life. And so, yeah, I was going out clubbing at night and doing what probably Los Angeles, the Hollywood 20-somethings do. And that led me down the path of getting a couple DUIs. I mean, it was crazy. I was just telling someone this the other day. I wound up on the off-ramp of Havenhurst in the valley in Los Angeles at 3 in the morning with my foot on the brake passed out.
SPEAKER_01:Wow.
SPEAKER_00:Passed out. And someone doesn't believe that someone's looking out for me at that point in some way. I mean, all my foot had to do was come off of the brake. And you have to push on the brake pretty hard to stop the car. Yeah. could have killed someone. I could have hurt someone really, really badly. So I was fortunate in that sense that I never hurt anyone very badly.
SPEAKER_01:Was there one moment where you're like, I need to get help? Was that it? Or was it shortly after that that you're like, okay, this isn't working. I need to get help.
SPEAKER_00:I think there were a few moments. The unfortunate thing with addiction and being young is I didn't want to give it all up. I was young. I couldn't imagine not drinking again or doing drugs. It felt very, very scary. But yes, around 2006, my father had just passed away. I was doing a reality show, which was sort of everything against who I was, what I stood for. It was the antithesis. And yet here I am on the show and during the show, my father passes away and I have cameras and I'm just a hot mess. There was family drama. I mean, it was awful.
SPEAKER_01:It was like the perfect storm for you in a
SPEAKER_00:lot of ways. It was the perfect storm, the perfect catalyst to bring me solo that... There was nowhere else to go. And that's what happened is one night, it was about 3, 4 in the morning. I'd been with a group of people. They all left. And I was hunting around my apartment to try and find anything I could to sort of keep my high. And
SPEAKER_01:keep numbing yourself,
SPEAKER_00:right? And keep numbing myself. And I just felt so completely alone. And I remember I fell to my knees and I said, okay. And I called my dad Pops. I said, Pops, God. spirit guides, anyone who can hear me. I know, I really feel deep in my heart, in my bones, that I'm here for a mission, that I'm here for more than this. And just to mention this, Before I met you, I went through a period of time around 17 until about 21, 22, where I got very into psychology, metaphysics, spirituality, transpersonal psychology. I was just an avid reader. I was an avid meditator. I had some incredible experiences. Because I had those experiences and I felt... what true connection was this was again the polar opposite i felt so low so disconnected so that's when i was on my knees and i said i want that That life where I felt so connected. Right. That's what I want. And if I'm not meant for that, then please take me out. I'm not going to end my life, but I don't want this anymore. Right. And the next two to three weeks, again, another perfect storm. Things happened just so that led me down the road of going to treatment, which I had already been to once, but I was sort of sent there. And this time.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:You were on your
SPEAKER_01:own accord.
SPEAKER_00:I chose it. Yeah. Right. And
SPEAKER_01:that makes all the difference, I feel like, when the person is really ready to change. Because if you're not, you're not going to change, right? No one can force you. Exactly. As we all know. Wow, that's amazing. So then, would you say that that moment in getting on your hands and knees... changed you like spiritually or your relationship with God or higher power? Like, and has that like been part of your journey, um, since then and kind of navigating that as it made you stronger as a something you rely on to the, to today still like your faith and whatnot?
SPEAKER_00:Yes and no.
SPEAKER_01:Do tell, do tell. This sounds juicy. No,
SPEAKER_00:no, no. I
SPEAKER_01:love
SPEAKER_00:it. I think that that moment was a very powerful catalyst that helped spawn the turning point. I didn't have enough trust because it's taken me years. And of course, this is part of my story. And I've written this in my first book. So it's like I've set out the dots and connected them. So it's a powerful part of my story. But I didn't trust then enough that I really was being looked out for. I was so deep in it. I was so in the forest. I really couldn't see the trees at that moment. So I just followed this path of, you know, once I removed the distraction of getting high in some way, shape or form, then it was like, oh my gosh, who am I? Right. What do I want to do here? I mean, your show is called Second Act.
UNKNOWN:Right.
SPEAKER_00:I felt that I had a second act and a second chance, and I didn't want to waste it, and I didn't want to take it for granted, and I wanted to do something that was fulfilling that felt that it was part of that hands and knees moment where I said, I want that form of connection, not this type of disconnection.
SPEAKER_01:Right. So then what was your next step then? So obviously you focused on your health and getting sober and whatnot. Then when did you make, I guess, that transition into– Oh, I maybe want to help others and give back and be, how did like the life coaching kind of, I guess
SPEAKER_00:come into
SPEAKER_01:play, come, come to play. Exactly. Yeah. I was,
SPEAKER_00:I was searching, you know, I was searching for what fulfillment looked like. And it's so funny. Cause you know, For better or worse, in society, it is sort of this achieving money, success, power, this higher and higher, more, better, better, pinnacle. And I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't have that because I had– I mean my dad was so successful that in me there was always this comparison of what's going to be my big thing and I want to find my thing. Right.
SPEAKER_01:Did you feel that pressure growing up that you had to be successful or did you put that pressure on yourself to be successful because of your father?
SPEAKER_00:The second. I didn't feel the pressure in the sense that that pressure was put on me.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:But it also felt that it was– look, I'm sensitive. I'm intuitive. I'm empathic. Me too. The world around me– I'm sure assumed, okay, here is an air. What are you going to do with that airness? What are you, how are you going to take over the business? Are you going to be, so that was around, I could feel it. Um, but I put that pressure on myself for sure, because those are big shoes that were there. I think it's natural to compare to the people around you. And I wanted my I wanted to find my way. The difference, though, is at first I thought that my way was going to look very similar because that was the family business. I feel that the family business trained me, and who knows? It might train me for other things that I don't even know at this point. However, my way and my path was going to be different, and the showbiz was sort of a training ground for what I do now.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right. That's amazing. So then how did you decide to become the life coach? Like, did you like one day say, this is what I want to do. And then obviously I'm assuming you go and get like certified or what was your journey?
SPEAKER_00:I was in my therapist's office at the time. And I said, I'm so confused. I don't know. I don't know if I want to sell shows or act anymore. I just don't know. And, you know, he knew me for a few years and he said, would you want to become a therapist? And I said, yeah, maybe. I mean, I'm interested in this. He said, what about a life coach? And I very naively said to him, isn't that a profession for women? And I didn't mean that in any sort of like sexist or derogatory way. Don't forget, you're talking 20 years ago. Of course, right. And at that point, I loved Oprah. Loved me some Oprah. And I would always watch Oprah. And the only time I've really heard Life Coach was on her show. And it was a woman. So that's all I knew. He laughed. He said, well, my wife is a life coach. But no. It is a very budding profession. And check it out. And he gave me a couple pointers of where to go. And I went home. And, you know, I think I went on AOL at the time. Yeah,
SPEAKER_01:I remember that.
SPEAKER_00:And I searched and I looked up. At the time, there were only two schools that I was aware of.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:And I thought, you know what? This checks so many boxes. I'm going to... Do this just for interpersonal skills. And hey, if it leads somewhere, great. But I don't know if I'm gonna become a life coach. Right, let's see where it goes, right? Yeah, see where it goes. I enrolled and I think it was a few months in, maybe four months in, we had to start, we had to get a mentor coach and we had to get some coaches, even if it was pro bono, to start practicing.
SPEAKER_01:Oh,
SPEAKER_00:got it. And I remember my first, person I ever coached was a sister of a friend. Okay. Terrified. Terrified. And she asked me something about finances. She was in between jobs and she was asking about resume. And at the time, I was an actor. I didn't know anything about resume. And I sat there biting my nails going, how am I ever going to do this? And I remember I did my best to ask questions and sort of follow the training. And I remember that call ending and saying to myself– I'm horrible. I'm terrible. I'm never going to be able to do this. And then three weeks later, my friend wrote and said, I don't know what you said to my sister, but she's– this happened and that happened. And I took a moment and I said– You know what you're doing. I– I wish I could say that I knew what I was doing. No, but there's a power in sitting with someone, listening to them and asking questions and following the thread. I was completely green and I had no idea what I was doing. But over the last 17 years of coaching people, I've developed ways and, you know, hone my intuition to at least say, I have an idea what I'm doing now. And that, felt very rewarding that after handfuls of calls and working with people, it became fun, Stephanie, because I could sit in a place of not having all the answers, but staying so curious and staying so present with someone that I can tune in how are they breathing what are they saying what are they not saying what am i you know i'd coach this was i think skype was around but predominantly a lot of my coaching if not in person was by phone and i became really tuned to listening to people so i just sit and i close my eyes i have my headset on and i could hear them smile i could hear them breathe heavier so then it was following that thread and asking them questions, and that became really, really fun. And the last thing I'll add, I would love to say that it's completely selfless, but it's not because it's just as rewarding for me to see people transform themselves and love themselves and start to love their lives And it's a parallel process because as I'm coaching someone, there will always be something, at least a few things each week, if not each day, where I go, all right, Randy, that's coming for them. you understand that you also need to show up in that way or do that thing. So I'm learning daily through everyone about myself and about just being human.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right. And that is another question I have because I feel like whatever we do, whether I'm, for me on this podcast, I remember someone saying, you're not only going to share so much with people and people are going to learn, but you're going to learn so much. And that's why I love speaking to you and some other guests because I'm learning as well. None of us know everything. I think life is all about evolving and growing and learning. I love that. That was one of my questions as far as what are you seeing with your clients and how is it impacting you? It's so rewarding. Obviously, we all need to make a living, but I feel like what's great is when your job doesn't feel like a job. It's like you enjoy it, whatever that may be. I think that's when it's really rewarding. For me, I feel like that's when you know that's your true purpose in life, right? Like your calling, whether God is telling you to do it or whomever you believe in. I think that's so great when you're staying true to yourself, right?
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. And like you said, as much as we know, we need to expand our repertoire of perspective. And so it's, really helpful to start to stretch that, oh, okay, let me see it from this direction. Let me hear it outside of myself in this direction. And we're constantly learning.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Now, who are some of your type of clients? Who are your average clients? Are you working with people then who are dealing with addiction or any sort of issues like that, that obviously you have personal experience with? Or are you just having people from all walks of life want to reach out to you and work with you, whether it's navigating a new job, navigating their second act, navigating divorce? Does it run the gamut with the type of clients that you help?
SPEAKER_00:When I first started, I tended to attract, I'd say, 35%, maybe 30% of clients who had addiction or who were wanting to make job changes, navigating how to choose where to live, school, those types of getting in a relationship, out of a relationship. Now, though, I would say it really runs the gamut of everything I have a lot of second acts I have a lot of third acts exactly right people come to me when they they probably have tried therapy they've been on some sort of self-help journey maybe and they want to connect all the wisdom that they have and the concepts that they've heard and the things that they know but for some reason it they're not embodying it and you know I guess I could say I feel the image that I get is I feel like one of those key masters that has a huge ring of keys and I'm there to not give them the right key, but I'm holding the key for them to go. That's my key. And we sort of co-create that together because the feedback that I get is that. You know, we've had two sessions and I've let go of all my anger. I'm seeing things so differently. I now love myself enough to where I can get out of this relationship or my finances have changed. It's like the one thing that really opens the door for everything to change in their lives. So, I mean, I... really do help people transform. I feel like when people get to me, they're ready for that.
SPEAKER_01:They're ready for like to take the action. I feel like you mentioned a couple of times so far about loving yourself. And I feel like so many of us don't really love ourselves the way we should and not to feel like I'm so great and be like, you know, self-absorbed. But it's even for me, the past three years of healing from divorce, I realized how I didn't set boundaries for myself. I gave and gave and gave. And I think that was because I didn't value myself enough. I didn't love myself enough to know I shouldn't be treated like that. And maybe most people do understand that and love themselves, but I certainly didn't. It's not that I hated myself. I just realized I was so hard on myself. The thoughts and the negative speaking were just so strong. I mean, are you seeing maybe even yourself or your clients are dealing with that or have they healed from that? Because that has been a game changer for me, for sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Have you ever had the experience of reading in a book, love yourself, love yourself, and you read it, and of course there's resonance, and you go, yes, I need to love myself.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00:But then you can't hold on to it. It's slippery. It's like trying to pin down a tomato seed, and it just moves.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, exactly. I
SPEAKER_00:feel like that is what self-love is, is we all kind of have this idea, of course, we need to love ourselves more. But I want to highlight something that you said. Because it's almost this, and people say this all the time, I want to love myself, not in a, oh, I'm so great way. So many people say that same thing. And I challenge that. Why? Why are we... sort of subscribe to that we can't see ourselves as so great. Now, truthfully, I'm not someone who walks around thinking that I'm so great. Me neither. But it's sort of like we're over here at one swing of the pendulum where I have this unhealthy ego, right? I have very little ego. And then it's like we never want to get to that place where I'm so egotistical and narcissistic and all these other words that we hear. Yes. Rarely does anyone, have I ever seen anyone go from here, from not loving themselves or thinking that they're so great to thinking that they're the most incredible human on the
SPEAKER_01:planet. Right. Napoleon complex. No, that's not what it means when you say self-love. It's just valuing yourself and realizing I actually am, I'm a great sister. I'm a great friend, you know, and I was a great wife, even though my ex didn't appreciate me. Like it's kind of reprogramming or rewiring your brain from any sort of narrative that you either were taught or that you told yourself or that someone barked at you for years. You know what I'm saying? So like, and through healing for me anyways, I finally got like my strength back, you know, and like loving myself, but it's not like, To your point, I do think I'm a great person, but I'm not egotistical about it. It's just like this kind of calm knowing about myself now, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, there's a knowingness. And I love this word, even though it might be overused, this embodiment. You embody that. And it's one thing. It's a strong image when you say embodiment. In body, in body, right? Like we're in our heads. We see these concepts. We read it like gratitude. You could you could know that gratitude is really powerful and great. And of course, it's, you know, one of the best things that you could do. embodying a sense of gratitude as much as you possibly can again is is one of the things that becomes harder and more elusive right you talked about self-talk and negative self-talk limiting beliefs
SPEAKER_01:yeah
SPEAKER_00:narratives that you have about yourself yes yes and yes Those are some of the hows to get to love yourself more. So the more that you can lessen the negative self-talk, the more that you can parent yourself, mother bear yourself, friend yourself and be there, be your best ally, the less that that dialogue increases. takes hold and it gives way to something new, a newer, healthier, more loving dialogue.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Absolutely. It's like almost re re rewriting the script and China changing that narrative. Um, so if there's, my listeners who are in their second act or third act and they're navigating it and they might be nervous or fearful. Like what are some like tips or sage sound advice you would give, you know, people kind of navigating that part of their life right now or in that journey or even like maybe some examples of things you've shared with your clients?
SPEAKER_00:Sure. One of the things is you said nervous, fearful. The only thing constant is change.
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:And if you look back at all the change that we've gone through, right now, our reality is changing as we speak. Our cells are changing and dividing and replicating and dying. Our blood is moving. Nothing stays the same. We are changing second by second. Look at all the change you've endured in your life. And not all of that change has been catastrophic, has even been negative or bad. But our mind is trained. And I want to break this down so people can really understand. Please. I don't know why this is. I'd love to do more of a study on the wiring of this. But for some reason, the human condition... it has been that we are wired to think about the future and think about the future negatively. And I get it. It's based on past hurts, traumas, woundings. But if we look back, not everything that we've experienced in our past, in our day, in our week, is bad or is negative. 100%. Right, but we become hypervigilant, and we start to scan, scan, and what we do is we take the past, and we go, oh, uh-oh, that could happen, and I remember when I wasn't in control, and if I'm not in control, then something bad's gonna happen, and you start to pace that onto the future, and now you're stressed, you're in reaction to, and here's the craziest thing. When you talk about second act, third act, being nervous about it, being fearful about it. I get it, right? Because the unknown can be scary. However, if you are taking the past and then you're creating the future based off of a could happen because I was hurt once back there, then you're creating the future that may never happen and reacting to that future that you don't want to have happen. So we're taking our valuable time, energy, resource, the chemicals that we have in our body, and we're using those to actually, in our minds, visualize, create a future that we don't want. We're building lands that we don't want to live in.
SPEAKER_01:That
SPEAKER_00:is great. wild about human behavior. It's like we're
SPEAKER_01:self-sabotaging our future even before it happens. Right. It's like
SPEAKER_00:building a house that you go, oh, I would never live in something like that. But you're building it and you're spending time, energy, and your resource building that thing. This is so true. That rug is so ugly. I would never put that carpet in. Why are you installing that carpet? Right. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:So for second act, third act, change is imminent. change doesn't always have to be bad. And just like part of my story, if this resonates, we all need catalysts to go where we need to go. Those catalysts, someone, I mean, I sit with people all day long and we look at painful, hurtful things in their lives. Those things mold them, shape them. We always go, well, it shapes me and molds me in a way that's really bad. but A, that can change. Your perspective can change. And B, it's molding and shaping you in ways preparing you for your second act and third act and being able to use that in a certain way.
SPEAKER_01:Right. I agree. I do think everything in our life does happen for a reason, even the bad or good. And I think God can use everything for good ultimately. And I think it's just how we navigate that. Like if we just say, oh, and we get stuck in those negative thoughts and we don't overcome it, then you're right. We're I think if we are willing to face our fears and to accept change and embrace it and understand that we don't know the future. So why be scared of the future? I've heard once that fear is just false evidence appearing real. And so I always say that to myself when I get anxious because I do have ADD, ADHD. So I have anxiety every now and then. And it reared its ugly head last week. And I had to talk myself off the ledge after my panic attack and be like, listen, what are you worried about? Nothing's even happened yet. All we have is now. We have to be present, live in the moment because a future isn't promised and why get anxious or worried about the future when it hasn't even happened yet? But I think our brains are just so deceptive at times and they trick us and they're really what kind of halt us from maybe living our best life sometimes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It can freeze you from moving forward in the ways that you want. And Look, we're saying all of this. I'm sure you and I can agree. We both recognize it's easier said than done. Absolutely. It's not just so easy when you're in the midst of panicking and worrying and feeling anxious to just go, oh, I'm not present right now. I'm in the future. Let me just gong show, like pull myself back. It's a process. But again, it's so fun to sort of sit with people and And actually have a meeting. Channel your wisest, highest, most unlimited self and answer those one by one because what you will find is you have the ability and the capability to actually answer and move through all of those things. But what happens is when it's happening in our mind, it becomes so big, you then feel all this stimulation and overwhelm and then you start to freeze and shut down.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. And prevent yourself from doing anything productive really, you know, and it's, it's just kind of catastrophic. So, um, so that's, That's definitely something I wanted to discuss. And now I really wanted to go into, as we mentioned, second acts and whatnot. So you're obviously a full-time life coach, but you also now have your podcast. I think you just started your third season, if I'm not mistaken. And I love your show. It's great. So did you ever think you'd ever have a podcast? How did that come about? And are you glad that you're doing it? And obviously, I'm assuming you're learning from that as well.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So I always thought that I... would at some point have a podcast but i waited you know that the trend was podcast podcast podcast and i've been approached by various people and it it for whatever reason it just didn't feel right or like a good fit and then uh brian brian austin green who's on the podcast he we sort of lost touch for a lot of years right and we got connected on instagram
SPEAKER_01:And
SPEAKER_00:then he wrote me one night and he said, Hey man, I'm just, I'm sitting here. It's like 12 at night and I'm watching some of your videos and I'm just so inspired. And I have this idea of doing a podcast and really making it more like really asking deeper questions and really like going into places that other people don't always go into. Right. And this was a few years ago. Right. And I don't know, there was something about it where I said, yes, no. And I kind of got a, hey, this could be a maybe, which surprised me because I had said no so many times. Right, right. We talked about this and met. And along the way, it just felt like, yeah, this would be something fun to do. And I have learned a tremendous amount, like you said, Stephanie.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Sitting with people, whether it's experts or celebrities or just us talking. Right. There's something great. different that happens from listening to a podcast versus running a podcast and holding the space and the energy and the interview. And there's this intimacy that happens. And that I really appreciate because I don't feel like I have many preconceived notions, but I'm human. I have some. And knowing someone and then sitting down and talking with them and getting a little bit more in depth and deep really can let you into a window of someone's soul.
SPEAKER_01:I agree. And I feel like it's that connectiveness that I feel like maybe in this world, we're kind of missing. And I feel like a lot of these podcasts such as yours, and what I hope to do with mine is to really connect people and talk about the issues and the topics that no one's talking about, or they're scared to talk about, or they don't even know where to begin to ask that question, you know, whether it's from healing or navigating second acts or what have you. But like, I wanted to create a space that like we can all be celebrated and you don't have to be famous necessarily. Like I want to showcase, you know, real stories. And like you said, like I just love learning about people because, you know, not only are they sharing their story, but I can learn something from them and they can learn something from me. I feel like that gets to like the connectiveness that I feel like in society could be potentially missing quite a bit. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, just a little bit.
SPEAKER_01:Just a tad.
SPEAKER_00:It's just a tad. We're going back to that. It's a good thing. No,
SPEAKER_01:I agree. I agree. Um, so then what, um, I know you said you've learned a lot through podcasting. Is there any like certain guests, whether it was an expert or whomever that came on that you like really just wowed you that you're like, oh my goodness, I didn't know that. Or that was so impressive. Like has, has anything in the, I know it's three years, but has anything really stood out to you when you're doing the podcast with, with Brian and his wife?
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there was one. There's been a lot. One that was, I would say, really impactful was Lila Micklewaite. And she basically has been on a mission to bring awareness to Pornhub, which was... sort of doing some really kind of nefarious things.
SPEAKER_01:Yes,
SPEAKER_00:very. There was like a lot of trafficking involved and non-consent and abuse. And so that opened my eyes. And I remember that morning after doing a deep dive and research into this, my stomach hurt. I thought, wow, this is... This is equally going to be great and hard to hear. And so just putting that out into the world to create more awareness, that was really helpful. And then I remember from the first season, we had a sexologist named Jaya on.
SPEAKER_01:Interesting.
SPEAKER_00:And she has something called your... blueprint and there's these i think there were five blueprints okay and brian sharna and i each did our own blueprint and then in the episode talked about that and it was embarrassing we were red we were laughing and also eye-opening and freeing because yet again you have taboo about the sort of porn hub stuff but then on the other side you have this taboo because this is kind of is this bad is this wrong we're talking about likes and desires and different things but shedding a light on that so people can be more comfortable to explore that for themselves right and again right equally impactful in a in a different way
SPEAKER_01:different way right no I think that's great because I mean I like I said I mean I there is a like personally I'm able to like kind of like see through the veil and I see the world in a more spiritual sense so I see how evil it is and And living in L.A., I saw it. But even in my career, I was around it and didn't know what it was, but I knew something was off. And so now like I went down the rabbit hole years ago. So I know like so much more. And especially when you mentioned like Pornhub and there there is a lot of evil out there. And it's like I think it's awful, but I think it's great that a lot of it is coming through. to the surface and hopefully to, to, so everyone can see and be made aware and like eradicate it. Hopefully. Right. That's, that's the end goal. Right. And did you see a lot of that? Like in LA? Cause I know LA can be a very dark place and obviously you, you were dealing with that. And I know that you don't live in LA anymore. And then when did you leave and why did you choose to leave? Was that like a conscious decision to kind of like get out of Dodge, so to speak?
SPEAKER_00:I think I got all four questions. That's okay. That's okay. So, um, Did I see the darkness in that way of sex trafficking or anything like that? Any of that, yeah. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. None. And I've heard a lot of the things that are out there. I have not seen any of that. And I'm glad that I didn't because, to be honest, that would be hard to come back from. I
SPEAKER_01:agree.
SPEAKER_00:But in terms of... a darkness, a sort of underbelly, I think one experiences that pretty full on when you get into a drug scene and, and anytime you're, you're needing something or wanting something and you're calling people to try and get something like when, when you start to do that, there, there's, there is just sort of this darkness that takes hold. And so I, I was around and saw some things that, that, you know, took years, this sort of like, just go, okay, it's all good. And I think it's a hard place to, to navigate when you're in certain scenes for sure. I
SPEAKER_01:agree.
SPEAKER_00:Now you asked about, um, not living in LA anymore.
UNKNOWN:Um,
SPEAKER_00:I didn't set out to go, I'm leaving L.A. and, you know, goodbye. We were coming
SPEAKER_01:back. Right?
SPEAKER_00:It was my home. I never left my girlfriend at the time who became my wife.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, lovely.
SPEAKER_00:We were in Sedona New Year's Eve one night. And I remember I was laying on the couch and she was on the bed and we were staring at the ceiling and we were talking. And she just said, how long do you think you want to be in L.A.?
UNKNOWN:?
SPEAKER_00:And I said, what do you mean? She said, well, I don't know. Have you ever thought of living somewhere else? And it's funny because we sort of like got into an argument about it because I was uncomfortable with the question. But I sat with that. And then when we got home, I remember looking up. rmls places in sedona because we had just been there and i thought i could get a house with a pool for the same price as my condo in la so i then i just started thinking from a home perspective right i really kind of want a home and i want something to be mine i think i had these visions of like i was gonna be shirtless in my home like drumming in sedona or something it didn't it didn't work out but that's what got the ball rolling and then i i saw a I was reading a magazine one day of Portland and there was a picture in there and everything lit up in my body and I just thought, ooh, I'm interested. I want to visit there. And we did and moved and it was one of the best things for me. to get out of LA in the sense of I could really find who I was and get rooted in that without any inside influence, outside influence.
SPEAKER_01:How long ago was that? And were you doing the life coach work then when you decided to move?
SPEAKER_00:I was. I had started about eight months before we moved in 2010. So I started coaching in late 2000, like mid 2008. So maybe over a year I had been coaching and I remember I had to tell some of my clients I'm moving.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. But it worked out because I'm assuming you have clients from all over. They don't just have to be where you
SPEAKER_00:live, obviously, right? I predominantly coach people all throughout the world, not necessarily in Portland. I have a few in Portland, but mostly they're in cities all over.
SPEAKER_01:Great. And just really quick, because I want to make sure my listeners know. So if someone wanted to work with you, what would you say are the type of clients you take on, just out of curiosity? Is it just anyone who really just wants help in their life or... I mean, like if someone were to reach out to you, what would you be looking for, I guess, for a good match, so to
SPEAKER_00:speak? Sure. Yeah, it just depends because I have various offerings, right? Like I have a monthly membership that's around$50 a month and it's for anyone who wants to improve, right? And have things that they can do. I have small group coaching where there's about four to six people and depending on what they're going through, if it's a transition in their life, if it's more confidence I will place them in a group that is really fitting and those groups are so beautiful in the sense that everyone ends up supporting each other and fitting really well. And then I work with people privately. I'm probably a little bit more selective of the people I take on as private clients. Um, and again, it just, it depends. I mean, a lot of people come to me, uh, for confidence for purpose, like you said, a second or a third chapter to find the strength to get out of a relationship or what to do to attract the relationship sort of of their dreams and a lot of the self work that it takes just these small and it sounds like such arduous work but it's these small shifts that allow you to not really be so anxious anymore about what you want to do or starting a business. I've worked with a lot of different CEOs and people where they just burn out. They just don't have the purpose anymore. It's like finding that purpose or connecting spiritually where they go, I'm human and I'm here. Maybe I'm this spiritual being having this human experience, but I'm going to squeeze the most juice out of life that I possibly can because I'm here to experience it all.
SPEAKER_01:Well, you only have one life to live. I feel at the end of the day, this is your one life. I mean, who knows what, you know, I believe either go to heaven or hell, but like right now we only have today. So it's like, make the most of it. And I think everyone, we're all going to deal with trials and tribulations. We're all going to have childhood trauma. All of us, none of us are going to come out unscathed, but I think it's a matter of navigating that and healing yourself and overcoming all of that. And then using anything negative in your life for positives and for, for the betterment of yourself and others around you. I mean, that's just sort of my take on things.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. Yeah, I know that. And everything that you just said, again, is so– I think anyone could hear that and go, yes. It's the how. And I will say this. There is not one way. Right. Exactly. The thing that's humbled me the most and has kept me doing what I'm doing is– the amount of intuition that I rely on and how right on that is 99% of the time.
SPEAKER_01:And
SPEAKER_00:I'm even amazed. I had a client yesterday that I was working with and based off of what she was saying and I asked a couple questions, I felt myself wanting to go, ooh, I see the path. Okay, let's go down here. But I then asked, I kind of got silent for a second. My clients probably think I'm nuts. Like, what is he doing? And the messages that I got and what I received and what came was a totally different path. And I felt myself kind of resisting and fighting. But by the end of session. full-on transformation and if i would have just gone down the path because oh i've done this before i've heard this before that's the way right it's not the way for everyone and that's why it's so individualized and the reason why i can't always replicate that in a done for you program because i need to sit with someone and understand and sort of be guided and to what is going to make the biggest difference for them, as in the how to achieve everything that you just said.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And like I said, I'm sure I'm trying to make it sound easy, but listen, this has been like three and a half years of major healing, crying, therapy, you name it. It's like I've come to the other side now, but at the end of the day, I'm realizing that that's really all it is. I mean, if you can get to that point and realize that we're all in this together we're all going to have issues and we're not alone and that we just maybe need some extra help or whether it's a life coach or a therapist or like i said earlier like i have healed so much even on social through memes that just came through with the bible verse or with an inspirational verse or something about narcissists i mean i have healed in so many ways and obviously as i mentioned some of your posts were posts were certainly instrumental and helpful for me on my journey so i'll thank you again for that
SPEAKER_00:i'm so glad to hear that and and And I'm so glad to hear that your healing journey has been as robust and meaningful as it has. And please don't ever shortchange or undersell how much that takes because I know the path isn't always easy to go through that. I know. You're a living example of sitting here, being able to talk about it. And if you're able to talk about it, it shows how much work you've actually done.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And we all know healing is not linear because, I mean, I have days where I'll still I'll get upset and I'll cry about my ex, not that I miss him or anything, but like those emotions will come up every now and then instead of I've learned to accept that. feel it, release it, and just let it go through me, not hold on to it. Do you know what I mean? Like I just kind of release it, whatever that is, crying, screaming, you name it. So I feel like that's what I've been doing for the past three and a half years.
SPEAKER_00:Well, it's paid off.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, thank you. So I guess final reflection. So what are some of the things that are you excited about now? What are new projects that you're working on or anything in particular that's really like lighting you up, so to speak, right now in your life?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Two things in particular. One is... I know I just said. I can't put it all in a done-for-you program. However, I do have this 14-day experience. It is all virtual. It's through video and me sort of coaching through this framework, but it's creative. It's fun. I wanted to make this creative and fun, and I've taken my years of coaching to sort of distill it into how can I get people from A to B. It's not A to Z, although sometimes people have that response. It's how do I teach them a reference point of the person that they want to become? Because that's where I see growth and growth. you know, the people's progress that they want to have, that's where it gets stunted is they have the affirmations and they say these things and they know where they want to go, but they don't have a reference point to what that looks like, who that person is. So it's called you 2.0. Okay. And it's a way to actually, um, taste, feel, touch who this YouTube.0 version is. So I'm super excited about that. I've had that for a matter of months now and people have been doing it and the feedback is awesome.
SPEAKER_01:Awesome. That's
SPEAKER_00:great. That and I'm writing my second book.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, good. Congrats.
SPEAKER_00:It's been 10 years in the making.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. That's exciting at least though.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I think it's been really... I think it will be really, really powerful as I'm writing and I'm using some of the things with clients and that's lighting me up equally as it is challenging me because the writing process is no joke.
SPEAKER_01:I know.
SPEAKER_00:It's pretty all-encompassing. It's a lot
SPEAKER_01:of work. Is this book more on the line of the life coaching, or is it more like your life and your experiences and your journey, or is it combination?
SPEAKER_00:I'm going to say it's more in the spiritual realm.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I love that. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Because I know you've mentioned on your podcast, too, a little bit about that. I was listening one day. I'm like, I know him. I connect with you on a lot of levels of being the empath and everything like that. I also have very strong intuition. I can read somebody right away and be like, that is a bad seed. I know people very well right away. I can tell. Honestly, I can even spot demonic energy in people as well. Like, I noticed that. And it's so ironic. Back to LA, just really quick. I remember being out there and I was younger and I was a totally different person. Like, again, I was like 22. I was really young when I was in LA. And I remember going out to the clubs. I remember seeing like all these actors and celebrities. And I wasn't phased by it because I worked with celebrities. So I was like, whatever. But I remember seeing them and looking at them and saying to myself, they all look like lost souls. So many of them were present, but there was nothing behind their eyes. And like, I saw it very clearly. I didn't understand what it was necessarily. And now I see now like what's really going on and just so many different things. But I, I feel like that was part of me like. Initially understanding my intuition and being able to read people but not even knowing what that meant at the time So I was so young if that makes sense,
SPEAKER_00:you know, I mean like all sense because you don't have all the context No to decipher it. But yes, you have a language and a framework in which to yes interpret it.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, exactly So, okay one last thing I just wanted to make sure everyone knows where they can reach you on social your website I just want to make sure anyone who wants to even get in touch with you to maybe be involved in that 14-day Sort of program where is best for them to reach you?
SPEAKER_00:My website is randyspelling.com. So simple. And my Instagram, probably the best way to get a hold of me or follow me is also Randy Spelling.
SPEAKER_01:Randy
SPEAKER_00:Spelling. Great. Awesome. I kept it simple.
SPEAKER_01:Same with me, right? Second act session. So no, that's great. Randy, I cannot thank you enough for joining me today.
SPEAKER_00:And I hope I'll have you on. And seeing you again in this second act. I know.
SPEAKER_01:I know. We both look so different. But honestly, this has been great. Thank you so much. I'll make sure that everyone has all your information. when this airs so they can reach out to you as well. And like I said, If you guys are listening, go to his Instagram page. You're going to love all of his posts. They're very inspirational and uplifting. And like I said, you truly did help me at some of the darkest times of my life. So I thank you again for that. I'm so glad to hear that,
SPEAKER_00:Stephanie. It's good to see you. Of
SPEAKER_01:course. You too. All right. We'll see you guys soon. Take care. Thanks so much for listening and be sure to subscribe to Second Act Sessions on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen and start your own inspiring second act today.