The Awakened Heart: A Podcast for Healing Women

BONUS EPI: Dear January: Opting Out Of New Year’s Resolution Pressure For Neurodivergent And Trauma-Surviving Women

Autumn Moran Season 1

We push back on “new year, new you” and offer permission to rest, especially for neurodivergent women and trauma survivors who feel depleted by winter pressure. We explore why biology favors dormancy now and how seeds of gentle intention can wait for spring.

• naming the harm of resolution culture and shame cycles
• reframing neurodivergence as difference not deficit
• honoring trauma responses as wise adaptations
• winter as a biological mandate for rest
• opting out of hustle and choosing maintenance
• boundaries around diet talk and productivity pressure
• grief without timelines or performance
• planting seeds now and setting intentions in spring
• practical supports for energy, capacity, and nervous system care
• upcoming late-diagnosed series details

About the Host:

I’m Autumn Moran, a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, Life Coach internationally, and a 500hr trained yoga instructor specializing in trauma-informed care for neurodivergent women and trauma survivors.

Therapy (Texas residents only):

I provide individual therapy in my private practice for women working through trauma, late diagnosis processing, relationship challenges, and healing from narcissistic abuse or toxic family systems. My approach is neurodivergent-affirming and focuses on helping you understand your patterns while building practical tools for nervous system regulation and authentic living.

Life Coaching (available anywhere):

For women outside Texas or those wanting support alongside therapy, I offer:

Somatic Healing Coaching: Bridges the gap between cognitive understanding and embodied healing through nervous system work, movement practices, and practical integration tools. Perfect as a complement to talk therapy or for those ready to work directly with their body’s wisdom.

Unmasking Journey Coaching: Specialized support for late-diagnosed neurodivergent women learning to reconnect with their authentic selves after decades of masking. We work on identifying your real needs, rebuilding your sense of self, and creating a life that fits who you actually are.

Whether you’re healing trauma, discovering yourself after late diagnosis, or both, my goal is to help you not just understand your story, but feel genuinely safe and at home in your own body.

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Connect with me about this episode!

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Awaken Heart, a podcast for healing women, a place where your voice matters, your body is sacred, and your journey home to yourself is honored, no matter how winding the road. I'm Autumn Moran, and I am passionate about supporting women on their journeys of healing. As a licensed professional counselor, I provide trauma-informed therapy for clients in my private practice, specializing in work with neurodivergent women and trauma survivors. For women outside of the state of Texas or those looking for additional support alongside their therapy, I offer live coaching programs, including somatic healing coaching and an unmasking journey for late-diagnosed neurodivergent women. My somatic coaching is designed as a complement to traditional talk therapy, helping you bridge the gap between cognitive understanding and embodied healing through nervous system work, body movement, and practical integration tools. Whether you're working through trauma, discovering your authentic self after years of masking are both. My goal is to help you not just understand your story, but to feel genuinely safe and at home in your body. New episodes drop every Wednesday and Friday. So be sure to subscribe, follow, bookmark whatever you need so you don't miss an episode. And if today's episode resonates with you, I'd be so grateful if you'd share it with someone who needs to hear it or leave a comment because this helps other women find the space and know they're not alone in their healing. Before I dive in, I'm off social, so I normally announce this on social media because that's where you announce good things. But I just want to announce it here because it's a big thank you to you, the listener. Whether this is your first time or you've been here before, I want to say a big heartfelt thank you for listening and sharing my podcast. Today marked 750 downloads. And I get it. I know that's small potatoes and the world of podcast, if you're a podcaster, because the goal is to get thousands of downloads each episode. And I have no doubt I'll get there someday. But right now, wow's 750 downloads. Thank you so freaking much for supporting me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, I'm diving in now. It's what you're here for. It's the end of December, and everywhere you look, or maybe it's just ingrained in you because it's the end of December, the message is the same. New year, new you, transform yourself, fix what's broken, become the best version of yourself, set goals, make resolutions, change everything. And if you're like a lot of a lot of people, especially if you're neurodivergent, a trauma survivor, or both, this time of year might feel really freaking heavy, not exciting, not motivating, simply heavy. Because why? Because you're already exhausted. You just survived the holidays, which many of you, which for many of us, many neurodivergent people, that might mean masking around family, navigating difficult relationships, managing sensory overwhelm, trying to meet everyone's expectations. So what happens? You're probably depleted, you're burned out, and now the culture is telling you that January is the time to completely overhaul your life and become a new person. But what I want to say to you today, and I really want this to set in, please give yourself permission to understand and believe and act accordingly when you have this in your mind. You don't need to be fixed. You don't need to become a new you. You don't need to transform or optimize or upgrade yourself to be worthy of love, belonging, rest, or peace. You are not a before picture waiting to become an after picture. You are a complete person right now, exactly as you are. And today's episode is permission. Permission to opt out of the new year transformation pressure, permission to rest instead of hustle, permission to be exactly who you are without apologizing or improving. And then when spring comes, when your energy naturally returns, the days are longer, life starts to bloom again, I'm gonna come back here and I'm going to invite you to set intentions with me. Not resolutions, not fixing shit, but simple intentions, gentle, life-giving intentions that honor who you are and what you need. But for now, in winter, when I'm recording this now, winter solstice, so winter starts in a few days. January 1st is in the midst of winter. Nothing is happening. So right now, in the midst of winter, it's time to rest. Every December 31st, the culture tells you this is your chance to start over, to become who you've always wanted to be, to fix everything that's wrong with you, to finally get your life together. It's framed as exciting, empowering, motivating, a fresh start, a blank slate, the opportunity to change. But underneath that messaging is an insidious assumption that you need fixing, that who you are right now isn't enough, that you're broken. Sorry for the cat in the background. I think she has a hat. She carries hats and socks around. I gotta, I gotta pick her up, give her hugs. But you're not broken, you're not lacking, you're not insufficient. And January 1st is when you start the work of becoming acceptable. And that's just that's garbage material. Lose weight, get in shape, be more productive, wake up early, build better habits, organize your life, make more money, maybe advance your career, ask for that race, ask for that promotion, be more social, stop procrastinating. What about be more disciplined? And overall, you're saying, sorry, I'm I'm getting nervous. I'm saying get your shit together, is what the message is saying. The implication? You're currently too heavy, too lazy, too messy, too poor, too unsuccessful, too isolated, too undisciplined. Simply they're saying you're too much of a disaster. And if you're neurodivergent, you've probably spent your entire life getting the message that you need to be fixed, that your ADHD is a deficit to overcome, that your autism is something to hide or cure, that your bipolar is something to keep secret and be ashamed of. Ultimately, it's saying that your differences are problems to solve. You've been in therapy, on medications, doing interventions, masking, trying to be more normal, all in service of fixing what's supposedly broken in you. And now, every January, the culture reinforces that message. Here's your annual opportunity to fix yourself, to become more acceptable. It's exhausting, it's demoralizing. It reinforces the lie that you're fundamentally flawed. And if you're a trauma survivor, you've probably already carry shame about who you are. You might believe that the trauma happened because something was wrong with you, that it was your fault. You might feel broken, damaged, too much, possibly even not enough. Maybe you've been working hard to heal, to recover, to become quote unquote, that awful word normal again. And the new year messaging says, You're not there yet. Keep working, keep fixing, you're still not good enough.

unknown:

Fuck that.

SPEAKER_00:

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck that. It reinforces the ideal that you need to earn your worth through self-improvement, that you're only valuable once you've fixed yourself. And here's what here's what makes this incredibly cruel. The pressure comes in the middle of winter. We are biological beings, we are mammals, and mammals are supposed to rest in the winter. Animals hibernate, plants go dormant, energy naturally decreases. Rest is the biological imperative of this season. But what happens? What happens? What does our culture say? The culture says ignore your biology, ignore the fact that it's dark and cold and your body wants to sleep, push through, go harder. And for neurodivergent people who already struggle with energy regulation, who already experience burnout more frequently, maybe you have limited capacity, of course, you're neurodivergent. This is asking you to override your body's wisdom at a time when you have the least resources to do so. And the cruelest part of this, the new year resolution model is designed for failure. Most resolutions fail by February. The research shows people make big, ambitious goals and a moment of motivation, then life returns to normal. The motivation fades, the habits don't stick, or they're not there. And by Valentine's Day, they've quote unquote failed. But the system wants you to fail because failure reinforces the message. See, you're still broken, you still need fixing. Try again next January. Our gosh, can we can we keep it on the cycle? Because after you get through of the January resolution stuff, you've got Valentine's Day, and then comes spring. What comes in spring to May or June? Getting body ready for summer. So then you get the messaging that you're fucking fat and ugly and you need to get toned like this model here. All that stupid shit. Like it's a fucking vicious cycle of consumerism and making you feel like shit. It keeps you in a shame spiral. It keeps you feeling inadequate. It keeps you chasing an impossible standard. And this annual cycle, the pressure to change or attempt to change, the failure to maintain changes, shame about failure, rinse and repeat. And what happens? It wears you down. It reinforces learned helplessness. It deepens shame. It makes you believe you're the problem, not the unrealistic expectations being the problem. It makes you feel like a perpetual project that never gets completed. And it keeps you from the thing you actually need. And guess what that is? Rest, acceptance, compassion, permission to be exactly who you are. So you don't need fixing. Your neurodivergence is not broken. You are not disordered. You are not in deficit. Your brain works differently. That's it. Different. Not wrong. And if we want to be real, it's kind of a superpower. It's no kinda about it. It is a superpower. Yes, we totally live in a world designed for neurotypical brains, and that creates challenges. Yes, you need accommodations and support. Yes, some aspects of neurodivergence are genuinely difficult. But the difficulty comes from the mismatch between your needs and the world's design. Not something fundamentally wrong with you. You don't need to be fixed. You need a world that accommodates your neurotype. You need systems designed for your brain. You need people who understand the different that different doesn't mean less. Resilience from navigating a world not designed for you. Not that we ask for resilience, right? Yes, it also gives you challenges. You've got executive dysfunction, time blindness, emotional regulation difficulties, and task initiation struggles. But you don't need to fix the ADHD. You need to work with it, support it, accommodate it. With an autistic brain, you too get deep focus and expertise and interest, great pattern recognition and systemic thinking, honesty and authenticity, loyalty and dedication. You need perspectives and insights. And yes, autism comes with challenges, sensory sensitivities, social communication differences, need for routine and predictability, overwhelm and neurotypical spaces. But that doesn't mean you need to be cured. You need acceptance, accommodations, and environments that work for your neurotype. So yeah, like work with you, not against you. Do things for you to support you, not things that are just prescribed to everybody. And as far as a trauma survivor, if you develop freeze, fawn, fight or flight responses, those weren't mistakes. Those were your nervous system's brilliant adaptations to keep you alive in situations that are or were genuinely threatening. If you people please, if you fawn, if you monitor others' emotions constantly, if you make yourself small, you learn to do that because at one point it kept you safe. You don't need to fix those responses that, like their character flaws, you need to update your nervous system's threat detection now that you're hopefully in a safer situation. You need to heal the wounds that created the need for those responses. But the responses themselves, they are wise. They worked, they got you here. Whatever size, shape, or ability level your body is right now, it's not wrong. It's not something that needs to be fixed before you allow to be happy, loved, or worthy. Diet culture and the new year get in shape messaging want you to believe your body is a problem, that you need to shrink it, change it, optimize it, make it more acceptable. But your body is your home. It's carried you through everything you've survived. It deserves respect and care exactly as it is. Look so fucking real, but they're fake. Like I'm so tired of somebody always having a fucking secret or always having the answer. Oh, geez. I'm getting back to getting back to the program. I mean, if you're tired, burnt out, depleted, that's not weakness. That's not something to fix with more discipline or better time management. This is information. Your body is telling you something important. It's telling you that you need rest. You need to reduce your demands. You need to stop pushing so hard. You do not need to fix your capacity. You need to honor it. Can't focus, that's executive dysfunction, not laziness. Can't just get over your trauma. That's how trauma works. It's not weakness. Don't let anyone tell you that time will heal and you're just gonna get over it because that's a big fucking lie. You need therapy, you need body movement, you need a healing professional to help you through what you're holding on to or what's holding on to you, right? Can't keep up with neurotypical productivity, that's having a different neurotype, not being inadequate. Can't maintain a clean house, that's capacity limits, not being a failure. When you're struggling, it's not because something is fundamentally wrong with you. It's because you're dealing with genuine challenges, neurological differences, trauma, limited capacity, and systemic barriers. You do not need to fix yourself. You need support, accommodations, rest and compassion, acceptance of who you actually are, systems and environments that work for your body and brain, rest and restoration. I mean real rest, healing from trauma, which is different from fixing yourself, compassion for your struggles, permission to have limits and needs, community that sees you and values you as you are. And here's what I'm giving you permission to do instead of fixing yourself this January. I want you to have permission to rest. You are allowed to be tired, depleted, not have capacity for major life changes right now. Rest is not laziness. Rest is not laziness. Throw that word lazy out of your vocabulary. Stop using it. That is a maybe an unpopular opinion, and this is just my personal opinion. This is not based by any facts or evidence based research. This is just my opinion. That word, laziness, the way it's thrown around with kids and adults and children, is a boomer thing. That was made up to manipulate somebody into doing something that they just didn't need to do at the moment, or to manipulate them into doing something to make somebody else feel better. I just don't think there's any such thing as laziness in the sense of how it's used so easily. Rest is your body and nervous system recovering from the demands you've placed on them. Rest is restoration. Rest is necessary. You do not have to earn rest by being productive first. I'm standing on a platform, I've got a megaphone, and I'm saying to you now, please listen to this and give yourself permission to own this statement. I do not have to earn rest by being productive first. You don't have to justify rest by being busy enough to deserve it. You are allowed to rest simply because you're a human being who needs it. You don't have to set resolutions. You don't have to make goals. You don't have to join the gym. You don't have to start the diet. You don't have to overhaul your life. And you don't have to commit to any self-improvement projects. You're allowed to say, not this year, not right now. I'm choosing rest instead. And you don't owe anyone an explanation. You don't have to justify opting out. You're allowed to simply decline participation in the culture mandate to fix yourself. Hustle culture says grind harder, sleep less, optimize everything, maximize productivity, never stop improving, have several side hustles, have a thousand followers, a million followers, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I give you permission to not participate in the hustle culture. How about permission to maintain and not transform? Instead of the new year, new you, what if your goal is just to maintain, to keep going, what to keep doing what you're already doing, to survive and get through the season without adding more to your plate? Maintenance and survival is enough. You don't have to be constantly improving to be valuable. How about permission to honor winter? It's dark, it's cold. Nature is dormant. Your energy is naturally lower, and you're allowed to honor that. You're allowed to hibernate a little, slow down, do less, sleep more, spend more time in rest mode. This isn't failure. This is biological wisdom. This is working with your body instead of against it. Very counterculture, I know. How about if I give you permission or ask you to give yourself permission to be exactly who you are? You don't have to become anyone else. Nothing to fix, prove, or optimize to be worthy. You're allowed to be exactly who you are right now. Neurodivergent, traumatized, tired, struggling, imperfect, human, full stop. You're allowed to take up space, have needs. Shit. I want you to be too much. I want you to be not enough by someone else's standards and still see that you're worthy of love, care, belonging, and rest. And if people in your life are pushing new year resolutions, diet talk, self-improvement pressure, you're allowed to set boundaries. I'm not doing resolutions this year. I'm not interested in diet talk. I'm focusing on rest, not productivity right now. I'm opting out of the self-improvement conversation. You don't owe anyone participation in their new year's transformation plans. You're allowed to protect your peace. And if the new year messaging is bringing up grief, maybe grief for the life you thought you'd have by now, grief for who you thought you'd be by the end of the year, grief for what trauma or neurodivergence has cost you, you are allowed to feel all of that. You don't have to be inspirational about it. You don't have to turn it into motivation. You're allowed to just grieve. Depression, bargaining, anger, denial. There's so many layers to grieving. And please give yourself permission to reject the timeline because there's no timeline for when you should have your life figured out. There's no deadline for healing, succeeding, or becoming who you want to be. You are not behind. Excuse me. You are not behind. You are not late. You're exactly where you are, and that's where you start from. You don't need January 1st to make changes. You don't need a fresh start. Every day is a chance to choose differently if you want to. But also, you don't have to choose differently right now. I mean, in the nature, in nature, winter is a time of dormacy. Trees, bears, seeds, everything slows down. Rest conserves all their resources. And they're not failing. The trees aren't being lazy. The bears aren't lacking discipline. It's biological wisdom. This is how things survive and prepare for the growing season ahead. And humans are not exempt from this. We're mammals, we're biological beings affected by seasons, daylight, and temperature. Winter is for rest and restoration. Winter is actually for slowing down, consolidating what you learned in the previous year, letting go of what doesn't serve you, like the trees dropping leaves, conserving energy for the season ahead, like the bear hibernating, doing less, being more like the seeds that are just underground waiting. And winter is actually for internal work, reflection, stillness. Winter is never for launching new projects, for pushing yourself harder, making major transformations, have high energy output, or forcing growth because it backfires, because it depletes you when you're already at a limited capacity, you're working against your biology, you're setting yourself up for a spring burnout, and you miss the restoration that winter is supposed to provide. And what happens? What I just said, you arrive at spring exhausted instead of renewed. It's like trying to make a tree grow new leaves in January. You cannot force it. The tree needs winter dormacy to have energy for spring growth. So, what does dormacy look like? It means doing less, moving slower, prioritizing rest and recovery, saying no to new commitments, maintaining rather than expanding, being instead of doing, protecting your energy, and letting yourself be unproductive. And for neurodivergent and trauma folks, for all of us that's listening, extra masking recovery time, more neuro nervous system regulation practices, permission for yourself to be more reclusive, lower the expectations for yourself, more rest, more sleep, more gentleness, gentleness. So if winter isn't for transformation, what is it for? What about planting seeds? Planting seeds is gentle, it's patient, it's hopeful without being demanding. That means noticing what you might want when you have more energy. Maybe getting curious about what wants to grow. Dreams, not demands. Planting seeds says, I wonder what it would feel like to have more energy in my body. It says, I'm curious about what might change if I had a gentler morning routine. I'm noticing that I want something to shift, and I'm open to exploring that when I have capacity. Curiosity without pressure. Questions without demands for answers. This is your goal. Dream a little. What would you love if it were possible? Not what should I do, but what would feel good? I'd love to feel less overwhelmed. Maybe I'd love to have more ease in my days. I'd love to feel connected to my body. These are dreams, not goals, longings, not plans. Write down what you want. Not a to-do list, not as commitments, just seeds you're planning. This winter, I'm planting seeds of rest, creativity, community, ease, and connection. That's it. No action required. Just naming what you're holding gently. Don't turn your seeds into goals. Don't turn your seeds into action plans and timelines. Don't demand immediate results. Don't judge yourself for not acting on them. And don't force growth before spring. I want you to hold them gently, let them be possibilities, and trust the timing while you're waiting for spring. Planting seeds requires trust. Trust that rest is productive, that dormacy serves a purpose, that spring will come. This is hard if you're used to forcing, controlling, and pushing. But winter is practice in trust and surrender. And here's what I'm inviting you, here's what I'm inviting you to instead of January resolutions. Wait for spring. And when spring comes, we'll set intentions, intentions together. Because spring is when energy naturally returns, days get longer, light increases, temperature warms, nature blooms. Your body and your nervous system naturally have more capacity. Spring is the biological time for growth, new beginnings, emergence. So instead of forcing growth in winter, we'll work with our biology and wait for spring. So intentions versus resolutions. So here's intentions. They're gentle directions, they're internal values, they're process-based. You're allowing for imperfection and it's compassion driven. So, example, resolution. I will lose 20 pounds by June. Your intention. So you change that resolution to an intention. I intend to listen to my body and honor what it needs. Resolution. I will wake up at 5 a.m. every day and have a two-hour morning routine. Intention. I intend to create mornings that feel nourishing and gentle. Resolution. I will make six figures this year. Intention. I intend to work in alignment with my values and energy. It's not about achieving and fixing. It's about being and feeling. And when spring comes, we'll look at the seeds you planted in winter. See which ones are ready to grow. Set intentions that honor your actual capacity. We'll create support structures that work for neurodivergent brains. We'll build in flexibility and self-compassion. We'll focus on process, not perfection. And we'll work with your nervous system, not against it. And I'm not asking you to do anything right now except rest and plant seeds. When spring comes, late March to April, when you start feel the energy, start feeling the energy return. I'm going to do an episode on setting neurodivergent, friendly, trauma-informed intentions for the spring. And I'd love for you to join me then. For now, rest. That's the work. Because you are worthy exactly as you are. Rest is not regression. You don't owe anyone productivity, even yourself. So don't even bully yourself. Winter is not forever. Your timeline is your own. Small is enough. You don't have to be extraordinary. You're allowed to be ordinary. You're allowed to be small, quiet, and still in the winter. And you can change your mind. You're allowed to say, I thought I wanted this, but I actually need rest more. And you're not alone. So many of us are tired. So many of us are doing or opting out of the new year pressure. So many of us are choosing rest over hustle. You're not the only one who can't do this. You're not the only one who needs winter to be gentle. You are not alone. So here's my invitation to you as we close out this year and enter the new one. Rest. My dears, just rest. Don't fix yourself. Don't transform. Don't hustle. Don't push. Rest. Hibernate a little. Honor winner. Be dormant. Plant gentle seeds if you want or don't. Just be. And please know that you are worthy exactly as you are. You don't need to be fixed. You don't need to become someone else. You don't need to earn your worth through improvement. You are enough right now, in this moment. Tired, messy, imperfect, beautifully human. Rest is your work right now. And the spring, when energy returns, we'll explore what needs to grow. But for now, for now, my dears, please rest. I'll see you in the spring for intentions. But you are worthy. You are enough. You are allowed to rest. And as I come to a close, I ask you to hang on with me because I got a couple of things to say. But first and foremost, this was a messy episode. I did not edit this. I edited a little bit because the cat got crazy. So I am so sorry for the sloppiness of the animal background today. But I hope you stayed with me and got permission from yourself to not hustle, to rest and honor yourself. Because coming in January, I'm going to do a late diagnosed series. I will cover life after being diagnosed, the grief experience from being late diagnosed, burnout, accommodations, RSD, which is rejection, sensitive dysphoria, fear of being perceived, executive functioning, and a little bit more. If you want to jumpstart, I will link some episodes that might help in the show notes, but follow me, save me, because come January, I've got all your late diagnosed answers coming. I'd love to hear from you. You got a question? Please message me. Want to help more women hear this episode and support me by helping my podcast grow? Please share this episode. Please talk to people about this podcast. Comment, leave a review. This helps me show up in searches, or maybe it doesn't. I don't know, but it helps people see that need to see it. Again, I'm not on socials anymore. I'm not trying to advertise or go into the hustle culture of social media. So this is just grassroots efforts. I'm not paying for marketing. I'm just really out here hoping on word of mouth until I have the capacity to start in socials again or marketing again. So just thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being here. And if you want to work with me in my private practice, I work with clients on their healing journey through evidence-based therapy. I also offer life coaching programs for women nationwide, including an unmasking program for late-diagnosed neurodivergent women and a somatic healing program designed to complement your existing talk therapy. If you're already talking with a therapist on trauma recovery, my coaching can help you integrate that work into your body through movement, breath work, and nervous system regulation. Because healing isn't just about understanding your story, it's about feeling safe in your body. So get that link on the link tree, the link tree in the show notes. Click on that. There's a 15, there's a form to fill out for a free 15-minute consultation. Fill that out, and I would be happy, pleasured to meet with you. Until next time, my dears. I want you to know that you are never too much, never too late, and you don't have to figure it out all alone. I'm right here with you every Wednesday and Friday. May you be happy and free. May our healing ripple outward to bless the world with happiness and freedom. Take care of you, and I'll see you soon.