BONUS PEP TALK: Stop the Performance and Choose YOU!!!

I go full rage mode about unsafe relationships and the quiet ways women get pressured into performing, especially sexually, to keep the peace. I draw a hard line between love and safety, and I am here to remind you that you can change your mind and walk away at ANY time!

Work With Me Individually

I offer trauma-informed therapy for high-achieving women navigating:

• Complex trauma
• Late-diagnosed ADHD or autism
• Nervous system dysregulation
• Relational pattern healing

If you’d prefer one-on-one support, book a free 15-minute consultation here:
http://linktr.ee/EmpoweringWellnessHub

Good Music for Healing

🎵 **Divine Woman Playlist (Apple Music):** https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/divine-woman/pl.u-leyl096uMoD885j

You’re not alone. 

We’re healing together.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey there. This is a bonus bonus because I am on fire right now. I want to just hone in my most beautiful dragon essence and burn some shit down. I cannot with the news. I cannot with people being mistreated. If you are in a situation where you are unsafe, where you are being the good partner and abiding by requests that you would never do on your own fruition, I'm speaking specifically in the bedroom sexual stuff, but I'm going across the board and saying anything. That is not love. That is not safety. That is not compatibility. That is a one-sided relationship where someone is mistreating you right now and you do not deserve that. Figure out how to get out. Don't heal. Don't take your time to wait for things to change. Open your eyes. See shit for what it is. Are the actions and the words matching? Are the actions supportive, loving, compassionate, inclusive, equal?

SPEAKER_00 1:23

If they're not, you got to go. This is a bonus bonus.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

I don't know how long this is going to last, but this is my rant. Because it infuriates me to hear and to witness women that are trauma experienced going through trauma as an adult while they're trying so hard to undo the trauma that they were experiencing as a child or in their teens or in their 20s or in previous relationships. And then somehow you find yourself in another shitty relationship with another manipulative motherfucker. I don't care if you're divorced a million times. I don't care if you've had a million boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, whatever. I don't care if you just moved in. I don't care if you just said yes or the wedding's coming up tomorrow. Do not do anything, make any commitments to anyone that keeps you in a state of unsafety. You can do this solo. You can do this without being partnered. Life is good. It's not just good when you're partnered. This is bullshit programming. This is bullshit conditioning that we've endured our whole entire lives. And I am here to say on a big loud podium, stomping my feet, banging my hands, this has got to stop. We've got to stand up for ourselves. We've got to stop taking shit. If you are a vulnerable party in a relationship and you feel unsafe, you are cleaning, you are cooking, you are managing, you are doing and performing in the bed when you don't want to perform in the bed or doing things you don't want to do. This is not a safe relationship. You have everything within you to live a life on your terms. Excuse the cat. You don't need anyone else. You've got it all within you. You can be safe. You can be free from living a life that's not the one you want to live. I don't care if you've made choices, I don't care if you've made a commitment. You can always, always, always change your mind. I don't care at what point in time. You can say yes right now and a millisecond later say no, never mind. I don't want to. You can change your mind. You can walk away. You can say no at any fucking time. I'm on fire today. I'm on fire. It is Friday for me right now. I think I'll probably post this as a bonus bonus as a Friday because I just want to say, like, listen to my podcast. If you don't like my voice, if you don't like my message, find other podcasts. Like, find women that are going to support you, encourage you, and see you through this journey. You don't need a partner. You are amazing. You can handle this. Don't let the world, don't let society, don't let your peers make you think you've got to be somewhere that you're not ready to be, that it's not safe to be. This is self-care 101. Making sure you're in an environment, making sure your home life, your heart life is solid, is safe, is supportive, is loving. And if the people in your home life and heart life right now are not providing that despite the fact that you've begged and pleaded and spelled it out for them, they got to go. They got to go. Blood, not blood, I don't care. We are not here to live this shitty, mediocre life based on someone else's dysfunctional needs. Undo the conditioning, undo the patriarchal, misogynistic bullshit we have ingrained in us and stand strong independently. You have everything you need to get this life the way you want it. You don't need someone else to do it with you or for you. You don't need to stay just because you're a certain age, just because it's been just so long, just because people what what people will think or how people will react or what it says about you societally to have a divorce, to have to be single. Like don't feed into this shitty bullshit. Clear your algorithms, throw away social media.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Tap into you, start showing up for you.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

I want to build a community, build a home for women to come to that are not safe, that want to be safe, that want to be seen and heard and understood for who we are, not for what we can do for people, not how we can perform. If someone is living a good life off of your performance, off of your productivity, it's got to stop. Either you get into therapy with that person and things really change, or you got to go. I'm mad. I'm fiery. I'm yelling at you, I'm telling you, I'm bossing you because I just it makes me so mad. It hurts me so much to see people be in situations where I know that if they weren't in them, they would be so much better. Life would be so fulfilling and free. Not because I'm like, look at me, be like me, but because I know, because I've experienced this, because I've been where you are, I've been in your shoes. And I'm here to tell you, it can be so much better when you start to live a life based on you and your wants and your needs and all that good shit that of a life that you deserve, that you believe in. In between the sessions, venting, letting it out, so that I can move on to the next session without it interfering. Because I'm fired up today. I am fired up today. I want to burn systems down. I want to throw punch several times all these people that are so shitty. Manipulators, gaslighters, sexual predators. I am so fed up. I'm so fed up with turning on a feed and seeing how another fucking predator gets away with it or how another day goes by and that Epstein files is not redacted and no one is dead for it. No one is in prison so that the prisoners can take care of them. Like no one is accounted for. But let's chalk up and count all the women that have been arrested or criminalized for since Roe v. Way was overturned. Like, what the fuck are we fucking doing? I'm so mad. I'm so mad. Why are we in this life? Why is this timeline so what it is? Tangential, fired up. I'm going back to the purpose. You have everything in you that you need to build the life that you want. You don't have to rely on someone else's wallet, someone else's heart, someone else's mind, someone else's strength. You've got it all within you. You need to create boundaries so that these bad people, bad dudes, bad gals, cannot come near you because your boundaries are so strong that they don't even try. I've got episodes on boundaries. I've got lots to say about boundaries, and that's more to come in the rebirthing season and the rebirthing arc of this season two of healing from sexual trauma. Right now we're in the rage season. Here I am raging. I want to show you an example of where I put my rage. I want to rage with you. I am here to rage with you. This is enough. We don't have to take it anymore. So there's my rant. I hope you have some sort of little bit of inspiration to live on your terms, to seek out what it means to have better boundaries, to stop tricking yourself to doing these performances for your partner that make you feel gross, that make you feel not yourself, that make you feel like you have to put on a mask and perform in order to get love back, in order for it to remain calm, in order for yourself to feel safe, in order for a fight not to break out. That's not love, my dears. That's shit. That's garbage. And you deserve way, way, way better than that. Okay. I'm gonna breathe before I have to get into session. Maybe stand on a shake plate for a second and vibrate it out and bum it out with my mouth. Do what you need to do. Shake it out, scream, vent. Do what you need to do. Share this with another woman that you want to just know that she can do it, that she has everything within her. She doesn't need that so-and-so. From my heart to yours, my dears. I hope you have a fabulous weekend and enjoy this bonus bonus. If you need anything, if you have any questions, if you want any topics, please message, comment, thumbs up, share, whatever. I'd love for you to help me spread the word and spread this community, this safe space I'm trying to make for people that are healing from trauma, from late diagnosed neurodivergence, or just healing from being a woman in a world that was just not meant for us, not built for us. Conditioned us in ways to believe that we just didn't have a voice. And I want to want you to know that this is a space that you can help find your voice and use it for good, not evil. Take care of you. Take care of that awakened heart. I'll see you next week on Wednesday with another episode dealing with the rage arc. Because we're rounding it down. I think I have about two or three episodes left in the rage arc because it is a big one. There's a lot of rage. Um, before we get into the rebirthing episode, uh, arc season. Oh, so many words. Before we get into the rebirthing arc of season two, healing after sexual trauma, I calmed myself down. I hope that wasn't too spastic for you. And if you've made it this far and you listened to me rant and get fiery, and you didn't mute me and you didn't say, girl, calm the fuck down. Thanks so much. Thanks for allowing me to be me and taking up space and let my voice be heard because I'm doing it to help, not to harm. All right, my dears. You take care of yourself, and I will see you soon.