The Arise with Anita Podcast
Welcome to Arise with Anita—the podcast for the woman becoming who she always was.
This is a space for the ambitious, heart-led woman ready to rise in identity, income, and impact—while honoring her healing, her vision, and her divine timing.
Hosted by Anita, transformational coach and founder of the H.E.R. Method, each episode delivers real talk, powerful reframes, and embodied wisdom for the woman building her next level from the inside out.
Inside you’ll find:
→ Solo episodes that break limiting patterns & ignite identity shifts
→ Guest conversations with thought leaders, healers, and experts across mindset, manifestation, wellness, business, and legacy
→ Soul-led strategy for money, purpose, and personal power
→ Raw, unfiltered insights that remind you: you’re not too late, and you’re not alone
This isn’t just about mindset.
It’s about becoming the version of you that already has the life you’re calling in.
This is your rise. Let’s Rise—together.
The Arise with Anita Podcast
Breaking Through Self-Doubt: Juan Bandana's Journey from Broke to Keynote Speaker
The gap between who we are and who we could be often comes down to one thing: confidence. Not the flashy, surface level kind that masquerades as arrogance, but the genuine, earned self-belief that propels us forward when doubt feels overwhelming.
Juan Bandana's journey from rock bottom – broke, overweight, and sleeping on a friend's couch – to becoming an international speaker and author reveals a truth we desperately need to hear: confidence isn't something that magically appears when we're "ready." It's built systematically through intentional choices and consistent action.
Juan goes over his four-step confidence cycle which provides a practical framework anyone can implement immediately. While most advice focuses solely on taking action, Juan reveals why this approach fails: it doesn't account for lack of energy or fear. The true cycle begins with generating energy, which facilitates courage, which enables action, which provides proof that reinforces the entire process. Most people never build confidence because they're simply too tired at their current level to pursue the next one.
Perhaps most compelling is Juan's assertion that confidence has nothing to do with personality type. Research shows no correlation between extroversion and confidence liberating news for introverts who've been told they lack a crucial ingredient for success. The quiet, thoughtful leader who speaks with conviction can be every bit as impactful as the naturally gregarious one.
Whether you're building a business, pursuing creative work, or simply wanting to show up more authentically in your relationships, this episode offers both the inspiration and tactical guidance to build unshakable self-belief from the inside out. Your future self is waiting and with the right approach to confidence, you can bridge the gap between who you are and who you're meant to become.
Don't forget to share your favorite golden nuggets with Juan and I on Instagram! @arisewithAnita @juanbendana
Order your copy of Confidence by Choice:
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/confident-by-choice-juan-bendana/1146546475?ean=9780593725610
Connect with Juan here:
Website: https://www.juanbendana.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juanbendana/
Linkdln: https://www.linkedin.com/in/juan-bendana-1a683694
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/juan7736
If you felt something shift inside you today… hold that. Honor it.
This is how we rise — one choice, one voice, one brave breath at a time.
If you’re ready to go deeper, download your free ARISE Activation Workbook at www.arisewithanita.com
And if this message landed in your soul, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a woman who’s done playing small.
Because we don’t just rise alone — we rise together.
I’ll see you in the next episode. And until then… stay rising.
Welcome to the Rise With Anita podcast, the space where soul meets strategy and dreams are no longer optional. I'm your host, anita Kurdayan-Gurgis, a transformational mindset coach and founder of the Her Method. This show is for the woman who knows she's meant for more, who feels the call to rise higher but sometimes feels trapped by her old stories, patterns or circumstances. Here we don't just talk about growth, we embody it. We activate the woman inside of you who leads, who creates, who claims her next level. You'll hear a mix of solo episodes from me and interviews with soul-driven leaders, the best in their fields, who live what they teach and rise by example.
Speaker 1:Each conversation is a callous for your next breakthrough. You're not broken. You're breaking through. Let's go ahead and rise together. Thank you for rising with me today. If this episode moved, you share it. Tag me at Arise with Anita and make sure to subscribe so you never miss a future activation. And, if you feel called, leave a quick review. It helps more women find the space and rise into their power. Your next level is already waiting. Now go claim it. I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker 2:Welcome back fearful souls to the Rise of the Native podcast. Today, I am so excited to welcome a guest whose presence is of pure activation. Juan Bedana is an international speaker, leadership educator and author of the powerful book Confidence by Choice. Juan's message is simple and profound Confidence isn't something you wait for. It's something you build through the line of action and intentional choice. With a dynamic blend of storytelling, science and soul, juan helps others essentially the next generation of leaders cultivate own shakable self-belief and live from their highest potentials. Whether you're stepping into a stage, into a new season, or into a deeper version of yourself, this episode is here to remind you that confidence is your birthright and starts within. So let's take a breath deep, drop in and let a conversation awaken this part of you that is ready to lead boldly, love deeply and rise fully. Let's rise together. Boca Juan.
Speaker 3:Amazing intro, well done. I am blown away. Thank you for having me and thank you for that extraordinary lead-in.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm honored to have you. Like I said, we were chatting offline and I have actually read the book, which I mean I give myself props because it just came out Tuesday.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, very impressive, actually Very.
Speaker 2:And I just let's go ahead and dive right in. Take us back to that version of you that was, as you've put it broke. It broke girlfriendless, living on your friend's couch in california. What was life like during that season?
Speaker 3:confusing. I remember I was at the time living in canada because I'm originally canadian and moved to america a few years ago. But I was the kid in school that put off growth and put off getting better and I said I'll figure that out one day. And then what happened is when it came to apply to different colleges and universities, while all my friends had options, I didn't and I couldn't get into any schools and I got into a community college that basically accepted me with failed grades and I did a year and a half of that, dropped out and I needed to do something. I knew something needed to change, but I needed to participate in that change. You know I needed to participate in that rescue.
Speaker 3:So I put my last $600 on a credit card and bought a flight to California to stay with my friend Luis True story, to live on his couch, to literally just be surrounded by high performance. I was like I want to be around someone that's actually improving themselves and doing great things and I was like I want to be in that energy. And I flew and I spent six weeks there and at this time I was like I was depressed, I was overweight, I had developed binge eating disorder. I basically had $0 in my bank account and felt like I'd ran out of options and it was the first time that I saw someone that wasn't in effect of their life. They were affecting their life, you know, like they were the ones that were actually doing something about it.
Speaker 3:And he didn't have great circumstance. Louis had clinical, clinically diagnosed ADHD. He was told that he would never amount to much. Despite all that, he went to college. He became one of the top memory experts in the world, competed, won a show on Fox, won a six-figure contract, like this whole thing, and I was like, okay, he decided to affect life, not have life affect him. So that was sort of the first semblance of what I learned about growth and not only confidence is like you have to participate, you have to be a part of it. You know, and yeah, that was when I was 19 years old and I really never looked back after that trip.
Speaker 2:Incredible and can we just take a moment? Because the fact that you were 19 and you're like life sucks, sucks right now, but let me learn how to make it suck less, is essentially so mind-blowing because, if you think about it, most 19 year olds are like I'm not going to be on this trajectory, they're still not. Let me party it out, figure out the phase, and for you to be like, okay, I'm already at my low point, how, how do I turn this around? Yeah and I'm.
Speaker 3:I just want to take that moment to like nod to you because you are fairly young yeah, and I appreciate that and honestly it was because of a pretty significant low point that sort of woke me up to something needs to change. I think the scariest thing is someone that lives kind of an okay life, that's good, that has some money, that goes on one vacation Like that's scary because it's comfortable and while we're comfortable it's sort of our hall pass to say I don't need to grow Like. I remember waking up with debilitating anxiety and stress that I wasn't going to be able to pay rent. I remember that feeling viscerally and sometimes we lose that level of drive because we don't have like a fire under us saying like you need to go. So I think that origin the reason why I was able to, like make that decision was because of the pain. Of course I wouldn't wish pain on to anyone, but I think, like adversity and challenge actually is a blessing, and the scariest version of life is the one with no challenge and no adversity, because that person does not understand what grit is, that person does not understand what resilience is, that person does not understand what hard work is and we're living in a time right now that just gives out participation ribbons just for showing up, which I think is the most toxic thing people can do for confidence in the world.
Speaker 3:It is weird destroying the self confidence of kids today by telling them that you are enough, just because that's actually not true. In a society where we pray like you win awards, you win the game, you win the NBA finals, you get the prize, you have the exit in business. Like no, you don't, you're not enough and extraordinary just for showing up, like here's the difference. It should be I'll still love you when you show up. That should be it. Not you're good enough and here's a participation ribbon because you're not. Sometimes you say you're going to run a 5K and then you run 1K. You shouldn't get a medal for that. It's a little bit of a hard take, but too many people think that they should be praised for no reason and they don't earn it.
Speaker 3:And confidence is something that we actually need to earn. We earn proof, we earn confidence with ourselves by doing the things we said we were going to do. That's how we build need to earn. We earn proof, we earn confidence with ourselves by doing the things we said we were going to do. That's how we build self-worth, that's how we build self-esteem. So I think the blessing was the challenge, and I just happened to have it at that age where I was, you know, 75 pounds overweight. I had binge eating disorder, then turned to alcohol and was drinking three, four times a night, mostly blacking out every single night, and I like that, being taken an ambulance to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, like I wouldn't have known that I wanted to head in another direction if I didn't go through that challenge. You know.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of times what happens with us is it's those challenges that end up in our growth cycles, and if we don't, for sure say it ends up. You live a very mundane life, as you were saying, and it's for me. What comes to mind is that like concept of when you're too comfortable, you're playing small, essentially so beautiful. Going back to that phase, though, what emotions were you mostly dealing with on a day-to-day, aside from depression? What was your inner dialogue looking like?
Speaker 3:worry, worry. It was complete worry of what if this doesn't work. What if I fail? What if they don't like it? What if I fall short? What if I have to move back in with my parents? What if I insert doom thought here. And what I've realized is that worry is just the prediction of a negative outcome. Excitement is the prediction of a positive one. So I realized that I was just trying to predict a future that hadn't even happened yet. I was just worrying is just predicting the future?
Speaker 3:It's like no, you're not worrying about the speech, you're worrying that it's not going to go well. You're not worrying about the business. You're worrying about the fact that you're going to make no sales. You're not worrying about the speech. You're worrying that it's not going to go well. You're not worrying about the business. You're worrying about the fact that you're going to make no sales. You're not worrying about the podcast. You're worrying that no one's going to listen. You're going to get three downloads and two of them are going to be your parents.
Speaker 3:So, like we, I realized I was like oh, I need to stop worrying. But you can't just stop worrying. It's not that easy. You need to replace it with something else, and I needed to replace it with what am I moving toward? What am I excited about? What am I looking forward to? What are the goals that I have? Because, once I changed my frame of thought to, instead of worrying about the future, I'm going to go out and try and create it and I'm going to get excited about that fact. That's when the switch flipped in my head to say like, okay, I'm not going to be a victim of circumstance, I'm going to be the designer and the executive producer of my life.
Speaker 1:Beautiful.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And fair shout out. I just want to kind of interject with the fact that we did meet at a Timmy Robbins event. We did camp interject with the fact that we did meet at a timmy robbins event. We did, and so I feel like you had a little bit of this. From what memory serves, you had a little bit of these like moments of you've already camped part of this stuff in your orbit for quite some time, but for it to affect your life at that point it hadn't really hit yet.
Speaker 3:For sure, and I'd gone to personal development conferences the Tonys of the world, the Brendons of the world and I would listen and I felt great in the moment, but then I would go home and then nothing would really change. So, though I was getting a great message, I wasn't applying it, and I saw a lot of people in the personal development, personal growth environment that were learning one thing but then not implementing that same thing over here, and so they didn't really have any growth in their life. And I'm like if we could just take these things and actually start using them, then I feel like it would. It would probably move us in the direction that we want to go. So, yes, I definitely was.
Speaker 3:You know, had the unfair advantage of being exposed to personal growth and personal development from a very young age, but at the same time, I've seen people that were exposed at that same age that are now in their 40s and they didn't do anything with it. So it's not about what you take in, it's not about what books you read, it's about what you do with them, because you can have a bunch of books on the shelf. You could have a ton of courses that you have login info to. You can go to a ton of conferences, but if you don't do anything with it, then you know that's not going to change anything. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:The beauty is in the implementation.
Speaker 3:Yes, 100%.
Speaker 2:So, going back to your personal story, what was your tipping point where you were like, okay, enough is enough, I'm done.
Speaker 3:I think it was a series of tipping points. You know people talk about this one moment where everything changed. Sure, I remember, you know, stepping on the scale, I was 75 pounds overweight. I remember waking up in a hospital room seeing blood on my shirt because I'd coughed up blood and wondering where I was. I remember those moments vividly. I remember those moments vividly, but I think it was an accumulation of those moments that really set in motion what was then going to be the journey of getting out of that place and seeing all my friends get great jobs. And I remember logging in I wish I had the screenshots I think I still do somewhere but on my bank account and seeing $24, $37, $140 and having credit card debt that I didn't know how I was going to pay off. I remember those moments viscerally. So I don't think it was a single moment. I think it was an amalgamation of all of those moments that then led me to have this. Something needs to change.
Speaker 3:And the first thing was really the the just the health and fitness journey where I was like, hey, this changes now and I became a psycho. I was doing 75 hard before. That actually was a thing I literally did. And when I went to California, I did two workouts a day. Uh, I only ate steamed vegetables and eggs. I do not recommend this as a diet. This was probably a horrible idea. I just didn't know any better. I would literally have like two pounds of steamed vegetables like three times a day. That's what I. It was crazy, that's what I ate. I worked out two or three times a day and I just went.
Speaker 3:I just went so obsessive in terms of the commitment and what happened was I started to see results. And here's the crazy part when you start seeing results in your life, it actually gives you the motivation you're looking for at the beginning. When you start seeing results in one thing, it starts to give you the drive that you wanted at the beginning of the thing. So that's when I was like oh, I do hard things, so that gives me results. And the results give me that boost that I'm looking for. That boost that I'm looking for gives me more energy to give the result. Like that's when I tapped into the, I was like, oh great, I just need to get results and that comes from taking action. So I just need to continually do that over and over and over again, and it's going to reach me to my desired outcome, and there's still versions of that that play out to this day. So I would say it was a culmination of moments. For sure, not a single moment in time.
Speaker 2:Beautiful and basically, what you just described was the momentum cycle is what I would call it. Get momentum in one area, it starts to bleed through in all other areas of your life.
Speaker 3:For sure, for sure. And that's like you can borrow momentum or borrow confidence from different areas, like if you rush it in relationships but you're horrible with finances. Like, borrow some of the mindsets and some of the beliefs you have over here and bring it over there. I guess everyone has an area of their life where they're like I actually feel pretty solid here, I feel pretty good here. So, like, borrow some confidence, borrow some skillset, borrow some belief from this area and put it over here.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. What would you say to that version of you now?
Speaker 3:That kid. What he needed to hear is like it's it's up to you you know it's it's up to. Like no one is going to come and change your life for you Not your parents, not your best friend, not God, not, no one's going to come change your life for you. Those people can help and they can walk with you, but you need to be the one that participates in the, the actions that you take in the belief that you have. So, like some, it's so easy to feel alone in the pursuit of something, but it's much harder when you, when, when you just feel like you're you're doing things but it's not really working. In those moments you have to understand like it's it's it's going to be on me. I'm going to take ownership for it. I'm going to be the one that shows up and consistently, day in and day out, every single day, and eventually something's going to work out and to have faith and have belief in a better future, that it is going to go your way, that you're going to find a way forward. So, yeah, I would tell that kid to just realize that, like it's on you, no one's coming. No one's coming. Like you're in the water, you're treading water, you're swimming and there's a boat right there. There's a lifeline, it's right there.
Speaker 3:It's sort of that parable I don't know if you've heard it where it's like the man is treading in the ocean and there is a bird that comes by to save him and he's like I'll save you. And then he's like no, no, no, god will save me. And the bird keeps flying by. And then there's like a dolphin that comes by and the dolphins like I'll save you. And then he's like no, god will save me. And then there's a boat that comes by with a fisherman. It's like here, I'll save you. And he's like, no, don't worry, god will save me. And then he goes to heaven. He's like God, what the heck, where were you? And he's like I sent you a bird, I sent you a dolphin, I sent you a boat, and he didn't choose it. You never got on. So sometimes we've got to participate in our own rescue and we got to be the people that say I'm going to actually show up Like that. That's really what I would, that's for sure, what I would say.
Speaker 2:That's really what I would, that's for sure, what I would say Beautiful, and I love that message and I love that parable. So you talk a lot about the confidence cycle, obviously because that's the title of your book, so break it down for the listeners. What does the confidence cycle entail?
Speaker 3:So, simply put, I realized that confidence oftentimes is thought of in the sense that the more action I take or the more competence I build, the more confident I'll feel. So take action, feel confident, repeat that's great, but it's a broken system because it doesn't take into account two very important things. Number one what if you don't have the energy for it? And number two, what if you're afraid? A lack of energy and a lack of courage are the reasons that hold people back from actually taking the action and getting in the game of confidence. So the first step, or the first micro step in the cycle, is really generating and sparking a level of energy. That is the first step, because the hardest part of a run is tying your shoes. The hardest part of an engine starting is the spark, is the ignition. So we need that ignition at the very beginning in any area of our lives. Once you have enough energy, it facilitates courage, which courage is your willingness to put yourself into the moment of fear. Once you have enough courage, it then leads your willingness to put yourself into the moment of fear. Once you have enough courage, it then leads you to take a step, to take an action, which then ultimately leads to giving you proof that, wow, I am this kind of person, I can do this thing. This is awesome.
Speaker 3:But people, what people miss so often is the first two steps is generating energy and having that energy facilitate courage. That courage facilitates action. That action gives you a result and then it really reinforces the cycle over and over and over again. Challenge is people try and just take action and they're too tired and they're afraid. You know, most people don't go for another level in life because they're too tired at this one. So in order to build confidence, we have to build a level of energy that is far beyond where we are today. That's the 30,000 foot view of the confidence cycle.
Speaker 2:I love this and for the record, because I know some of my listeners either sway very woo or they don't.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:When you say energy, what do you specifically mean? Are we talking physical state or that like mental energy? Have that spiritual side to it.
Speaker 3:So all of the above, you know people think. When they think of energy, they think the water that I drink, the food that I eat, how I move my body. That's great. But there also is psychological energy, which is the fact that you can think yourself into tired and you can think yourself an energy. You know, everyone has had a moment where it was the day before an exciting event, day before a birthday, and they got two hours of sleep, but somehow they found the energy. How'd you do that? By focusing on excitement, because excitement creates anticipation, anticipation creates energy. So there's also psychological excitement. Then there's psychological energy. Then there is environmental energy, which is the energy you feel like going to a poppin' restaurant or going to a concert or going to be in the world or the people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people that are tired, you will be tired. If you surround yourself with people that are high energy, you will find that rubbing off on you, because we mirror and match the people that we surround ourselves with and the people in our lives. So it is sort of holistically that yes, it is physical energy, but it is also psychological, mental energy, it is environmental energy and absolutely spiritual energy as well.
Speaker 3:All of it is the spark. It's essentially the inspiration. You know, like when people feel inspired for a new goal at the beginning of the year, they say new year, new me. What do they do? They buy the new workout clothes, they sign up for the yoga studio and they go and they're excited because there's an ignition point, there's like that flicker, it's exciting. So we just don't need to wait until January 1st or a birthday or a special occasion to start something. We can say that being alive is a special occasion and let me get like, let me pursue the best of who I am and the best of what I want today, like right now.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Essentially. Just start now. Yeah, 100%. So what do people get wrong about confidence?
Speaker 1:in your opinion.
Speaker 3:A few things. Number one that confidence is only for extroverts. A few things. Number one that confidence is only for extroverts. Oftentimes overly extroverted people are often hiding insecurities and they're doing it as an overcompensation. There is no research on the fact and the correlation of confidence and extroversion. It does not exist. So you do not need to be extroverted to be confident. Also, biggest thing that people get wrong is that confident people have zero insecurities. That is the furthest thing from the truth.
Speaker 3:Confident people probably have more self-doubt than normal people. Super confident people have way more self-doubt than regular folk. They just don't see doubt as a sign to stop. They see it as a signal to grow. They don't see self-doubt as a sign to stop. They see it as a signal to grow. They don't see self-doubt as a signal to say I should stop doing this. They see it as a signal to say I'm going to get better, I'm going to retool, I'm going to skill up. So confident people, they actually just have a better relationship with self-doubt. That's the biggest misconception. It's like, oh, that person is super confident. They never doubt themselves. That's not true. They doubt themselves way more. That's why they're confident, because they have more run-ins with self-doubt. They face self-doubt far more often than the average person. So they're okay and actually thrive amidst the pressure of it all. So those are the two most common, I would say.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I've just an observation of the space. In the personal development realm. I've noticed a lot of bigger speakers that my let's be. I don't know if I would classify Tony as one, but like I've had, for example, very charismatic speaker, but he's an introvert at heart and so I remember hearing that and going. There's nothing wrong with me.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Based on like if I'm not extroverted, I will be successful. That it's like the introverted people who are able to kind of flip on a switch, so to speak, are the ones that are actually more successful because they're able to kind of navigate that like discomfort of putting themselves out there just for their message or for whatever is, whether it's their like mission or their purpose or whatever they categorize it as they're willing to put themselves out there.
Speaker 2:For sure, absolutely so. You went from living on a couch to a keynote speaker. How does speaking enter your path?
Speaker 3:For context, you were also told that you would not amount to being a good communicator. Essentially was the message yeah, I went to a conference and I remember I saw a speaker at a student event, a student leadership conference, and I was like how the heck do you do that? So I emailed every speaker I could find in in toronto and I was like where do you, how do you do this? Barely any responded. One responded and he agreed to sit down with me for two hours, two and a half hours, almost three hours at a Starbucks and kind of just gave me everything and he booked me my first event, which was a mistake because I was horrible.
Speaker 3:And then it just kind of went from there and I was like I could obsess about this thing and this is something I'm really excited about, this is something I'm looking forward to and something I could be excited about being bad at. And I just never looked back. I was like this is what I'm going to do and I still feel that where I'm like I feel so early in the career, I was like this is what I'm gonna do and I still feel that where I'm like I feel so early in the career, I was like I'm so excited to obsess about this thing and continue to do so, because it's just the funnest thing in the world and I just love it beautiful.
Speaker 2:Can you walk people through the actual actions you took? Because when I heard this I was like this guy was like I decided and I'm just going for it. So what did that look like? For those who don't know, yeah it was.
Speaker 3:I was like okay, I want to be a speaker, so what is that going to look like? I coded my own website because this was before Wix or Squarespace or any of these amazing intuitive or AI or any of these platforms existed. And I was like I'm going to code my own website. I don't know how to code, I'm gonna code my own website. I don't know how to code, I'm gonna figure that out. I figured out a code. I made my own website.
Speaker 3:It was okay, and I sent a hundred emails a day, seven days a week, to anyone with an email address I apologize if you were one of them, because you probably were, if you're listening to this. I sent, sent so many freaking emails. It was insane. And I got my first opportunity after probably I would have to look back probably after like 200 or so emails Around there, I booked my first like speech, which was cool, and it was for like $250 Canadian and I was pumped. And then that led me to doing another speech for like a hundred bucks, and then that led me to doing another and another, and another, and it just snowballed from there. But the beginning I was like I'm going to figure this out and I'm going to force my way into this career because I'm not a former Olympian or a former astronaut or a politician Like I need to be extraordinary just because and that's gonna be really hard. So how the heck do we do that? And yeah, I just never, never, really look back beautiful.
Speaker 2:One thing that really impressed me, though, and the reason I asked you to share that story, is because, when you finally made that decision to go into the speaking career Totally new chapter, totally new arena, essentially, of your life but you made the decision and you just took massive action right away, and you weren't afraid of bendels or, in your case, it was literally purely getting ignored.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:You continued until you finally built that momentum. And once you got that one win, it led to another win, and so on, so forth, and now you're doing incredible things yeah, and it was, you know, quote-unquote massive action I guess.
Speaker 3:But it was also micro action because I very much so at the very beginning, focused on the next email and I wasn't focusing on. Massive action would be I'm going to send 10,000 emails this year. That's daunting, that's a lot. I'm like I'm going to send, I'm going to send 20 emails in the next hour. So then I was there, I was in that hour, I was present with that hour. The next hour. I was like I'm going to send, I'm going to send 25, 30 more. That was good, I'll take a little break, I'll go for a walk outside and then I'm going to come back. So then it wasn't even a hundred in a day, it just it was broken up. So it was. It was into these micro chunks where, like, it just became much more manageable, where it's like I'm just gonna do a little, I'm just gonna do a little more every single day. So it really didn't feel like major, like massive action, just felt like micro actions consistently absolutely well.
Speaker 2:Consistency I think that's a big part of winning in business and in life yes, it is the like.
Speaker 3:I was literally talking to penguin about this. Thinking about my next book will probably be something either around energy or around consistency, because it is the thing. People quit far too early. People quit right before it was going to work, right before the thing was going to happen. They quit, they let go because it's not for them, because it wasn't working, like it's just so soon, so soon.
Speaker 2:They were right there, but they didn't that micro moment right before it's actually about to 100 I actually have a funny little story about that personally.
Speaker 2:So in my early when I was like 19, I guess there you go, there's the mirroring of this conversation. When I was 19, I had this whole campaign and I was like I'm going to sing with Justin Bieber one day now I am not best singer, or do that sound like Mariah Carey for the life of me but I was like if I could prove that I can do this, like I don't even need a career in music, like game over, I'm good. And so I had this campaign that was literally going from like 2012 to 2014 website, youtube videos, you name it, the whole shebang at it where I had literally his entire team knowing about it. I literally like I was on it. I was like I'm gonna make this thing happen. And I recall literally the night before it actually happened, which is it's like tiny little clip of us singing, but I was like that's all I really need.
Speaker 2:I literally had a tweet where I put out I was like this is stupid. I don't know why. I tried. It's been two freaking years and literally the falling night, like 24 hours exact later, I ended up doing so how do I really stuff to that belief of like it's not gonna happen and I didn't follow that nudge of like. My friend was like hey, he's at the studio, come, come, chill. It wouldn't have happened. So it's that little like persistence moment of like I'm gonna try it anyways 100 just unwind absolutely.
Speaker 3:I could not, could not agree more so what did you have to unlearn?
Speaker 2:to stand in a room with people looking at you with confidence and speak to them that people are thinking of you all the time.
Speaker 3:That's what I thought. That's the furthest thing from the truth. People aren't thinking of you all the time. They're thinking of themselves. They're the main character in their movie, not yours, so sure, speaking, it's like they're looking at you and they're just watching you for an hour. That does feel like they are looking at you and they're just watching you for an hour. That does feel like they are looking at you 24-7. But I had to unlearn the fact that you care more about how you sound and how you're perceived than everyone else. Love the people in the room and just just do that. Just do that, Cause you can't go wrong.
Speaker 2:Like you can't like. If you just love the people in the room, you can't go wrong. That's beautiful and I think that speaks to how usually public speaking is the number one fear most people have, even more than dying, and it's become they get into their head of how do I look, how do I sound, what, what did I say the right thing? Oh, my god, I just stumbled on my word and I think a lot of times if we get out of our own way, we realize that it's about them, not about us, and even if you fumble, half the time they don't notice 100 so this brings us to the exact question I was about to ask, which is what role does service play in confidence for you?
Speaker 3:I think it's one thing to build our own confidence. It's another to give it away, and I think our ultimate opportunity is to give people confidence by saying hey, you're incredible. Hey, you're amazing. Hey, I'm glad you're a part of this team. Hey, you're an extraordinary person in my life. Like, I just want to say I appreciate you. Like, giving confidence away is so easy, but we do it so rarely that I think the role of confidence is to say, like, once you've built your own confidence, how do you turn around and be the person that can give it away? Give it to the people in your life, to your family, to your friends, to the people on the street. Just be the person that encourages people, that says, hey, like I know, I believe in that project, yeah, I'm gonna like and share everything. Just send me the link. Like, just be that kind of person, because when you're that kind of person, people gravitate towards it. They really do absolutely so.
Speaker 2:How has your relationship with confidence evolved since writing the book?
Speaker 3:oh, it's definitely created my fair share of doubts, which is ironic. A book on confidence creating some, some doubts in your mind of like, who am I to write this and and am I really the expert here, and what are people going to think, and what if it's incomplete, and what if it? All of those things. So I think it's created both a level of doubt but also a level of like. I'm serious about this topic and I am going to obsess about it.
Speaker 3:I want to keep learning about it and it's definitely changed the way that I interact with people and seeing like the majority of people do things. Because they want to feel like they matter, they want to feel valued. That's a con. It's, it's all confidence. Like they want to feel confident in their future. They want to feel confident in their ability. They want to feel valued. That's a con. It's, it's all confidence. Like they want to feel confident in their future. They want to feel confident in their ability. They want to feel confident in their marriage. They want to feel confident in their relationships. They want to feel confident in their own skin. Like it's all boils down to confidence. So I'm like, okay, I'm really speaking to like a nucleus of the world.
Speaker 2:And it's just yeah, yeah, it's just super exciting. I think it's interesting, though, the way you said that it brought doubts, because and I was just having a conversation with my own personal mentor and it was like, sometimes I feel like you are perceiving yourself as still not the expert, and I kind of had this moment when he was saying that where it's like, at what point are we really the expert? Because I look at even someone like Tony, who is very much high up there, but if you look at it, I'm sure he had those moments where he's like, okay, what more can I teach on? Or, if it's a new thing that you're entering, you're still feeling that hesitation to call yourself an expert when you're sharing 100%.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't think there's ever going to be a moment where someone doesn't run into a feeling of imposter syndrome or feeling like they're not enough. But the thing to do in that moment is to get better, to work on it, to excel, to improve.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 3:That's what you got to do To get better. Just improve, just improve that's what you got to do to get better.
Speaker 2:Like just improve, just improve those micro shifts or, as Tony would call it, like the two millimeters. I just have to get slightly better at it and it won't have to be an expert. But I have to get slightly better at it and you'll find you enter that state of flow?
Speaker 3:Absolutely, absolutely. So what does it really mean? To choose confidence today, I think, to let go of other people's opinions of you and live your version of life and to decide here's where I want to go, and I'm going to pursue it with abandon, and I'm going to be tenacious and courageous and I'm going gonna pursue my dreams regardless of the judgment, the criticism, the failure, the rejection that comes along with the territory. It is in full pursuit. Being in full pursuit of one's goals unconditionally that's what I'd say for, in other words, having audacity yes and all right.
Speaker 2:So how do you now and you just touched on this slightly but how do you stay grounded when the voice of doubt creeps in?
Speaker 3:I think, sort of speaking to what we were mentioning before like do the work. Like you have to outwork yourself, doubt you? Like, if you're doubting yourself about writing, go right. If you're doubting yourself about going to the gym, tie your shoes, get out the door. If you're doubting yourself about building new relationships, go say hi to five new people. Like, just get in motion, do.
Speaker 3:The damn thing is how we get out of self-doubt. Self-doubt is thinking. It's like treading water in worry and despair and fear and like you're in the ocean. Instead, decide to swim, swim towards something. Don't just tread water. You know what treading water does. It takes a ton of energy and you go nowhere. That's what most people do and they tread water in worry and self-doubt and anxiety and fear and fatigue and all these sorts of things. I'm like swim towards excitement, swim toward momentum, swim toward courage, swim toward something. There's buoys out there that all have labels on them. Go to them. Don't just tread water, because at some point you're going to run out of gas and you're going to feel consumed by the water. You're going to say I drowned. No, you didn't move.
Speaker 2:You didn't move towards something I definitely can relate. I think that the more you stick with that doubt mindset, the more you can't find yourself in that loop. 100% Call yourself the inaction when it's easier to just jump in and take the action and you'll build that.
Speaker 3:For sure.
Speaker 2:If someone's currently in this season of life where they're listening right now and they feel stuck or small, what's the one truth you want them to hear bring to? They feel like it's dead.
Speaker 3:They just take the day much that your life is up to you. The results that you have today are a byproduct of what you did six months ago. So, if you want to be somewhere different, move. You are not a tree. Decide to move. You don't have roots in where you are. Decide that I'm going to do something different. Just understand the power that you have to change your own life. Like that is an exciting thought and should be an exciting thought, and I think most people just don't acknowledge the fact that, like it, you have the autonomy to do whatever the heck you want. So go get after it, go make it happen like that's exciting I love this.
Speaker 2:I just I want to acknowledge you for a moment because you're so young but so good at communicating the way to build confidence, and it's apparent how much research and study you've done and how you've applied this in your own life. And I remember just a sidebar when I met you at the RPM. On that I was like he just said he's a speaker, and I remember looking you up and being like he's not just any speaker, he's an impressive speaker but he's downplaying a little bit. What I mean by downplaying is just, you know, you didn't have this energy of like I appear and then like everyone else is here, which I think once you hit a story level, sometimes, especially in certain communities, you can find that energy kind of radiating off the person.
Speaker 2:So when I found out, oh, he speaks for like fortune 500 companies and he's not even it's not even like a humble brag for him he was just very in tune. And I remember he told me about the story about like hey, are you saving? Go out and like speak at a free events just to get my practice and my footing in, but a lot of people don't want to do that work. And I remember thinking to myself. He's not wrong. There's a lot of people in the space that would love to be in this space, but they don't want to do those micro wins to get to that overnight success of like actually being a page seeker with, like, the triple sts or whatever.
Speaker 3:So I just want to acknowledge how you're humble and confident at the same time, because I find that that can be a little bit of a rare trait I appreciate that, yeah, yeah, especially in this industry, it's hard when you have a career path or a role that is literally you on a stage and people are listening to you talk for an hour. A lot of times it gets to people's heads it's gotten to my head for sure at times, and the more time I've spent at it, the more accustomed you become. Then you remember why it really matters and what really matters of like of doing this work where it's like the people in the room, the people in the audience, like can you obsess about creating an amazing experience for them? Can you obsess about creating an extraordinary experience for the people sitting in the room? That's all that matters. And sure, the like the big conferences or the stadium events or the Fortune 100 companies or the like it's cool. But there's also other events that you've never heard of that are also really cool. Like that are awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, lint chocolate is great. They sent, you know, my wife and I like 60 pounds of chocolate. It was insane. Like chocolate they don't even sell at stores, like crazy. But then there's also like different associations and and different community. I did a company called RK and they were awesome and it was all their executive leaders, and it was 35 of them and we hung out for eight hours and it was amazing and and like no one's ever heard of them and no one ever will hear about them, like that's so it's. It's really just about the people in the room and what you can do for them and how you can show up for them and can you create something that is the most valuable for them, because in this business, it's like it's not about you, it's about them, it's about the people in the room. That's, that's the whole thing.
Speaker 2:So what are you currently feeling stretched to embody right now?
Speaker 3:What am I currently feeling? To what Sorry?
Speaker 2:To embody right now.
Speaker 3:To stretch like to stretch myself.
Speaker 2:To embody, yeah, to stretch, like to stretch myself to embody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right now I am working on really expanding into sorts of two lanes. One is in business of like hiring a team offloading a lot of things that I'm doing, so hiring a full-time executive assistant and a lot of those pieces. And then in personal, doing a challenge with my wife Gabby. We're starting in a few days like a version of 75, hard kind of, but where it's like reading 10 pages, doing two workouts a day, working on a part of the keynote for two hours a day, just like really stretching my commitment to how I show up every single day. So those are sort of the. That's like a personal and then a business. Those are the two ways currently.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. So what's a bold invitation you want to leave us here with today?
Speaker 3:Bold invitation Move toward your best. Like there's a version of you here's what I'll say. There's a version of you, here's what I'll say. There's a version of you six months away. That is awesome, and many times people will be the same or worse version of themselves six months from now and they're moving either at a stagnant direction or at a decline. It's like decide to be a better version of yourself by December, by March, by June, by October. Whenever you're listening to this, like six months from now, a year from now, you can be a different person. So much can change in that period of time. So I would just leave people with the decision to reimagine what is possible for yourself If you've only earned a certain amount, or if you've only had this certain kind of relationship, or if you've only felt this kind of way. Reimagine a different version of you and decide to become that over the next six, seven, eight, nine, 10 months.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. So how can listeners connect deeper with you?
Speaker 3:primarily instagram linkedin are my two platforms I hang out on the most. That is me, that is not a management service, that is literally me, it's just juan bandana on on both of those platforms and yeah, yeah, those, those two are where I hang out the most.
Speaker 2:Beautiful and I'm going to hit you with a quick fire round. So one word answers multiple answers. I don't really care, but just Amazing. Part of the fun of it your current mantra.
Speaker 3:Let's go.
Speaker 2:Love it. A book outside of yours that changed your life.
Speaker 3:The Rise of Superman.
Speaker 2:Interesting your daily non-negotiable outside of work now.
Speaker 3:Hydration Water.
Speaker 2:One word that describes your current season.
Speaker 3:Faith.
Speaker 2:Blah, blah, blah. And then final one what is your favorite guilty pleasure? Favorite guilty pleasure.
Speaker 3:I'm just gonna chalk it up to carbs, because I was like cookies. It could be cookies, but it could be ice cream, but it could be pasta.
Speaker 2:We're big foodies, I love food, so I'm gonna say carbs actually I'm gonna hit you with one more, because I usually start those as an opening question what is currently bringing you joy?
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, spending time with my wife, spending time with my friends, spending time with my dog, the people, the people in my life are, yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. I am so honored to have you on this podcast, so I'm going to link all the show notes and the book in the bio. For those of you who haven't connected with one, I highly recommend you do. And until next time, please like and do the comments, and I'm not great at the outros, I'm just gonna be very honest, you know. So please subscribe and reach out to us on Instagram, let us know your thoughts, what your favorite takeaways from this conversation were, and we will be on being next time. Thank you again.
Speaker 1:Thank you for rising with me today. If this episode moved, you share it. Tag me at AriseWithAnita and make sure to subscribe so you never miss a future activation and, if you feel called, leave a quick review. It helps more women find the space and rise into their power. Your next level is already waiting. Now go claim it. I'll see you in the next episode.