75 Hard, Nervous System Healing & Vulnerability: How High-Achieving Women Remove the Mask | Elizabeth Walker

In this episode of The Arise with Anita Podcast, Anita sits down with Elizabeth Walker: a holistic health & performance coach and Senior Leader within the Tony Robbins organization for a deep, real conversation on vulnerability, nervous system regulation, and high performance without the mask.

We begin with a grounding breath practice (inhale 4, hold 2, exhale 6) and explore what it really means to be strong when you’re used to pushing through. Elizabeth shares how 75 Hard revealed the “auto-programs” running beneath daily habits and how discipline becomes powerful when it’s rooted in self-honoring rather than self-abandonment.

You’ll hear practical insights on:

• The difference between grit vs. burnout (and why you need grit + grace).
• How to ask for help when independence has been your survival strategy.
• Why high performers often armor up and how to soften without losing your edge.
• Using breath, celebration, gratitude, and play as real state-change tools.
• Identity shifts, letting go of external approval, and stepping into a more integrated, embodied leadership.

If you’ve been navigating stress, pressure, perfectionism, or feeling like you have to “hold it all together,” this conversation is your permission slip to come back to your body and lead from wholeness.

Connect with Elizabeth Walker: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alohalizziesunshine/

Connect with Anita: 

Website: www.arisewithanita.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arisewithanita/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anita.karadalian.7 

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-karadalian-girgis-23362b335/

If this episode resonated, share it with a sister who needs the reminder: it’s okay to not be okay and you don’t have to do it alone.

If you felt something shift inside you today… hold that. Honor it.

This is how we rise — one choice, one voice, one brave breath at a time.

If you’re ready to go deeper, download your free ARISE Activation Workbook at www.arisewithanita.com

Email: Anita@arisewithanita.com 

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anita.karadalian.7 

Linkldn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-karadalian-girgis-23362b335/f

And if this message landed in your soul, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a woman who’s done playing small.

Because we don’t just rise alone — we rise together.

I’ll see you in the next episode. 

Transcript

Welcome & Show Intent

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Rise of the Media podcast. The space where soul meets baggy and dreams are no longer optional. On your house and line seconds, it's not a mindset and more. We embody it. We have to wait for claims to our next level. You'll hear this full episodes for me and interviews with school-driven leaders, the best in their fields, who live what they teach and rise by example. Each conversation is a callus for your next breakthrough. You're not broken, you're breaking through. Let's go ahead and rise together.

Guest Intro: Elizabeth Walker

Grounding Breath & Wholeness

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Welcome back to the Rise of the Need podcast. Or welcome if you're new here. So today we're stepping into a conversation that lives in the intersection of strength and softness performance and presence. I'm so happy to introduce my dear friend Elizabeth Walker, a holistic health coach and a senior leader within the Tony Robbins organization, which is actually how we met. As someone whose energy truly feels like a ray of sunshine in the moment that she enters the rooks. Elizabeth works with high-achieving individuals to optimize not just how they perform, but how they feel while doing it. Her work bridges the physical, emotional, and nervous system layers of health, helping people move beyond burnout, perfectionism, and survival-driven success. And what I deeply appreciate about Elizabeth is despite operating in high-performance spaces, she leads with warmth, openness, calming energy, and humanity. She embodies the truth that real strength doesn't come from armor. It does come from vulnerability, from presence, from learning how to actually listen to the body and honor what's actually there. In this conversation, we're going to explore what vulnerability really means when you're used to being the strong one, how embodiment changes the way we lead and perform, and why slowing down can actually be the most powerful upgrade you'll ever make. She has accomplished a lot, but this is for not only for the accomplishments. This is a conversation for anyone that knows that there's more honest, integrated ways to live and lead. So, Elizabeth, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Anita, for Hadine. That was beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. I just want to say you are a ray of sunshine. And I'm so honored to know you. So I open up with something a little different than that typical podcast. And as I briefly mentioned before we got on here, I've been doing something new with our audience that I would love to try with you. And that is, are you open to taking a breath with me before we dive in? Always open, my dear. Always beautiful. So just go ahead, close your eyes. And I want you to go ahead before you really focus on what you think about this conversation. I want you to go ahead and just take a moment to reconnect with your body, reconnect with your breath, and when you're ready, inhale. Hold for four and exhale for six. And I just want you to take a moment to remind yourself that you are whole. You are complete.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

And you are safe within your body. Thank you.

Joy, Self-Love & The “Goddess” Era

Letting Go To Create Space

Meeting At Tony Robbins RPM

Vulnerability In High-Performance Rooms

SPEAKER_01 4:04

How is that experience for you? Beautiful. Thank you. Now, before we actually dive into the conversation, I always open up with a question that doesn't hit your resume, but it actually hits your heart. So what is bringing you joy in 2026? Oh my goodness, so much joy abound. Delving into my goddess era, I'm really embodying this identity of effortless elegance and enchantment. It has shifted how I approach everything. Phyllis, you're familiar because we've had these conversations of self-love, right? And really going into loving yourself and really loving all the parts of yourself, not just the inside, outside perfections that everybody sees, but those imperfections, those messy middles. And when I started really loving those messy middles and those parts of me that maybe I wasn't so proud of, there was this opening of just absolute abundance. And so in 2026, I'm looking forward to continuing to develop the goddess that has been released or is here in front of you today. And continuing to grow the self-love for myself and acceptance and helping others get to this point too. Because when you truly get to that point, really honestly loving all of you, the best love in the world. So that brings me to an interesting question. Not to put you on the spot. But what would you say was holding you back from stepping into that goddess energy before? Like those opinions and voices in my head that were mine to own. Still holding on to things that I needed to let go of. I just needed to use the analogy, I basically dropped the dumbbell. You think about the gym and you're lifting a weight, right? And my gets heavy, you have no problem dropping and starting again. I did not do that more in life when things like just don't fit with us. Why do we just not let go of what doesn't eight words not aligned with? And so really putting that into practice every day of letting go of what is not aligned with who I want to be and who I want to become. That's a mic drop right there. This is because when we think about alignment, a lot of times it's very easy to look at like the straight path of what I need to do to get to a certain spot. But a lot of times I think the biggest thing for high achievers, especially for women, is that initial, well, what do I need to release to create the space for whatever I want to bring in? Yes. And it's a matter of being overdoing, right? Who am I being? Not necessarily what you're doing. Yes, what you do and the choices you make matter, but it's more about what you just said, creating that space and letting go. It's not about doing more, it's about what you can free up to allow yourself to really step into your authenticity. Where can you be vulnerable and open up and step into your true self? Where do you need to be honest within? Absolutely. Yeah, it's good stuff. Love you. Sorry, side note. Can you guys sell we're friends? But this actually takes me back, and you just brought this up right before we hopped on and clicked record, which was we met two years-ish ago at a Tony Robbins event. Yes. It was the first time he was doing his little RPM event in person, and I got the honor of meeting you, or should I say the honor of having you walk up to me and offer me held on to the stare stones? I remember being so in my head about it because there's that studious part of you that goes, I just really want to do this right. When it's only and how much does that show up in my life, so when you just want to do it right? Yes. And I remember we had this divine conversation, or little chunks of these divine conversations sprinkled throughout that event. And I remember just thinking how in awe I was of the fact that you were able to formulate and simplify what Tony was teaching, even though he already does it in a pretty simple language. But I think sometimes as a female, we can still miss a little bit of what he's trying to say. And so for me, it was very helpful to have you walk up to me and like work with me as we were doing the exercises. And for those of you who don't know, RPM is just basically Tony's time management blocking system. How to navigate your life in a way that actually looks fulfilling to you. It's not about really about the traditional time block of just how are you using your time. But the reason I bring that up is you have such an essence. However, we have also discussed in the past where certain high performance environments may not always feel the safest to show that vulnerability, especially if you are in a leadership position. So, what is your stance now, having been a senior leader for quite some time, in that sense of while you're working with high performers, how do you pull out that vulnerability out of them when they might have that? I don't want to call it a block, but we're gonna use that word for a lack of a better term. A block because perhaps they're sitting there thinking, I've always had to be the one to push past things. Actually, it was a conversation I was having yesterday where a dear friend of mine was like, you know, typically you get so disappointed in life that you just go, okay, I will take care of myself because that is what I can rely on. So, what is your stance on how do you get a person to open up? Because I remember even me in that moment during the RPM event where I was going through a lot of chaos still. Lots of things were going back on at home. So I was partly up, but there was that internal part of me that was still back in vegas. And so, how do you break through that shell? Well, as we uh thank you for your kind words that bring up about this game that breakup was yesterday and everything you're describing is one of the most beautiful memories that I have in movie that I play in my head. So your energy introduces yourself before you even make contact. Right. And so remaining open. And this is something I'm learning because it's you mentioned it's an essence of mine. And I'm trying to define that essence right now because I still don't fully understand what it is, except for I've open. And when you present yourself as open, there's a welcoming energy. I know I have a welcoming energy of making people feel seeing, safe, or understood, felt, found. And a lot of people who hit in their heads when they're working with high performers or, you know, high profile people. And we have to remember they're just people like you and I. Right? And so not looking at them any differently than what we would look at, you know, our neighbor or someone in the grocery store. Looking at them as a human being, and then we we just look at just the who oh no, it's just coming up with a smile. I see there's something that you're working on, is there something I can help with? And from there conversations just start, right? Just like art. I saw you sitting there at the computer with a little bit of a rusting pee face. No, no, no, no, no. It's just I could sense the energy. Like you you you were getting down to business, you were doing exercises. Yet I sense that there was some resistance within right? Yeah, we could have all these removing pieces going on, like we all do. We have these pieces. And yet you're at the event. You showed up for yourself, and that auror needed to be celebrated, acknowledged, and recognized. So maybe that's part of it too, is acknowledging and meeting people where they're at, building that rapport. And whether it takes just that smile, that gentle gaze, or that eye contact, or maybe it's a little bit of celebration, it's just connecting and meeting them where they're at, building that rapport, being open, and magic hats. Beautiful answer. Yes, it did. I'm gonna shift gears for a moment just because I think it's so fascinating. So you've completed and are in the middle of 75 hard.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

He pushing up all the time.

75 Hard: Discipline With Grace

Identity, Sugar, And Grief

Grit And Grace: Commitments That Fit

Winter Walks, Gratitude, Perspective

Rest, Adaptation, And Play

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Cop the way we have rooted in discipline and mentally being tough. So now I believe this is what, your third girl around? So, what did that reveal for you about where you're honoring yourself and where that comes easily versus where it felt harder? Yeah, talk about a program that I resisted for so long. I had supported clients through it and watched it just wreck people, right? It's like, why do we have to be so militant about this? And so the approach that I have in this little group, side group that I have a community of people that are committed to doing something for themselves. What 75 Hard revealed to me was the auto program that we're all on, right? There's so many nuances throughout the day, habits and behaviors, thoughts that we think, actions that we do that we're not even aware of that aren't even ours. And so a big thing for me, and you know, you know this, I I wanted to get rid of sugar. And I mean a great quotistic health coach. I have a plethora of information. I know how to change identity, I know how to change habits, and I have this great experience background, and yet the grief of my losing my parents and the connection to sugar all of a sudden appeared was one thing I could not at the time understand how to break. And so I needed to take massive actin, burn the boats, try a whole different approach that I had not done before. And that's what led me to 75 hard. And through that process, I realized and connected beforehand that any time that I missed my mom or that I wanted a hug, that's when I reached for sugar. And so 75 hard, the commitments I made was no sugar, no processed food. So chips was another one that was a big thing for me. That that crunch, salty crunch. I'm a popcorn roll myself. The faulty and the crunch is just so good. That's okay. And so I eliminated my vices because the whole I love to live my life that I'm not restricted or dependent on anything. I I don't drink, I don't do coffee, I don't do any of that stuff, right? You know, right? Well I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee sitting right beside me. Well, because I I identify these patterns like doing yeah, like for example, Tony Robbins events, having to get up and move an extra hour early so I could go get my Starbucks coffee in the morning? Like, really? Is that really in alignment with what I'm living and teaching and want to be? Side note, right? So I burn the bowls. Congruence. And what I learned here 75 Heart is the negotiations that happen within yourself too, right? I said, are you really giving yourself grace or are you finding an excuse to not stay with it? Right. And what is that? Where is that discomfort? And when you identify that discomfort, you identify what that negotiation is. It's like, hmm, something to think about, right? And so going forward and using my own version of it, it's all about honoring a commitment to yourself. For me, that program is all about honoring commitment to self. And it doesn't need to be how it's written, it's just a good familiar template for people to grass their head around. The people who are numbers people and like a number goal, 75 days or 77 days or 60 days, whatever you want it to be. Commit to something for yourself for you. Because you want it. Not because society or culture or your family or your spouse or whatever it is. What is one thing that you want to commit to for you? And that's where you start to see the identity shift. Right? You start to incorporate it for you. And again, magic happens, right? You wind up, there's one person I know that, you know, used to spend hours just looking at the snack aisles in the grocery store, and it drove them nuts. And they called me as soon as they got out of the grocery store saying they didn't even need to go down the snack aisle anymore. Not saying snacks are bad, but it was controlling so much of their life. It was an identity shift they wanted to make. Another person is doing just disconnecting from their phone in the morning, right? And just to disconnect from their phone, they're doing box breathing instead. And that's their connection. And then, you know, others within this community are doing, you know, 75 hards hard, soft, medium. It's a choose your own adventure without judgment. You're not allowed to judge yourself, you're not allowed to judge others through this whole programmy. There's no I need to, I should be, or I have to's. It's all I get twos. And you make the choice. And that language pattern is actually very important. So it reminds me when I was younger. My mom, she was already in a little bit of this like leadership programming. And I remember having been in about like the fourth grade, and I think I was frustrated about some homework speech, and particularly in math. And I was like, ah, I have to stay up late tonight to do this homework. And she and a friend of hers were like, no, but you get to. But I don't want to be critical in combat, and because I was like a hard in tall, whatever. And I'm like, but I really don't want to. But she was reminding me about how many people also lack education at that point. So it's like the old things we take for granted, you can get into doing. And so that's something that always stuck with me. And then having came into the Robins World and hearing Kim can't repeat. Keep that same notion of you get to. I was like, okay, there's something to this. Because I think it's so easy to default into well, I have to do this, or it's another checklist item. Which brings me to 75 hearts off medium. They all have some sort of checklist item. What's your least favorite? Or what's the one that actually pushes you the most? Yeah. So for me, living in Vermont in the winters, it's that walk outside. If you if you were to go by a standard checklist, that walk outside can be brutal. Like this weekend, we're supposed to have negative 40 degree wind chills, and I will still be out there safe. It's safe for me. I'm accustomed to winter. I ski in it. But you know, ski bottles on, face masks, and I'll be all bundled up walking tonight, tomorrow, Sunday. That's the hardest for me. And yet it also is so peaceful for me because there's not I love winter. Really love winter, especially when there's snow, because everything is quiet. There's not as much hustle and bustle like during summer. You know, you have activities, families laughing, barbecues going till 10, 11 o'clock at night because the sun isn't down yet, or just starting to like get dark, dark. And there's always like noise, which is great. But in winter, to have that stillness and the whops that I get in the winter are just, I don't know if it's partially the cold exposure too. They're just calming on a whole new level. So that's that's the push that I feel with 75 hard is that walking outside or that outdoor workout is that real push. Touch on that, you know, transformational vocabulary of I get to. Like I am, I always come back to gratitude. Whenever I get blustered or like I don't want to do something, like I have the blessing of moving all my fingers, all my toes, my whole body. Even my worst day is someone's absolute dream of a day. So I'm doing myself a disservice by not honoring what I'm able to do and what I get to do. And so that's what gets me all bundled up. To go outside, feel that fresh air on my face, because we never know when it's gonna change. Beautiful. And I love that you brought it back to gratitude because I feel like especially when you're going through a tough time, finding gratitude, finding grace can be so hard. Yes. And so it's having that honest moment of like, okay, this moment feels like it sucks. And I want to just take a moment to acknowledge. You're allowed to acknowledge that it sucks. Absolutely, absolutely, we're not robots. We're not we get to have feelings. We're not AI, we do have feelings, and that is the one differentiator between a human and an AI bot. But with that being said, coming back to the gratitude of I know that this is also not forever. Yeah. I know that my worst day is also not forever. Yes. And so for me, something that I've been studying a lot is the last few months, is Kabbalah. And so I was listening to a podcast with Atani yesterday, which is one of the most fabulous uh phenomenal like teachers of it. And he had this point where he reminded us of how the creator or God, whatever higher power you believe in, does not allow anything to happen to you. Here's the kicker that you did not already co-sign for. Yes. And so even in these dark moments, it's also about recognizing how can I feel the gratitude or the lesson. What is the lesson here that I need to accept? And so it had me sitting there because I've been grappling with this, because at different points in the last year, I could honestly say it was probably one of my toughest adult life years. But there's also a lot of beauty and a lot of stepping out into your independence, stepping out into your own. So it's kind of this like on one hand, you feel like you're sinking almost where you could be. And on the other hand, it feels like life is coming together, it's falling apart to come together. So it just brought me to this perspective of, well, how is this happening for me? Which is another Tony Robbins thing. And as I've been studying Kabbalah and I hear like the little synchronicities, sometimes I wonder, Tony, is this another path you've gone down? And just because he's such a master at the way he teaches. And actually, one of his key affirmations, all I need is within me now, is a very Kabbalah-themed. I don't know if they call it an affirmation, but they say that quite a lot. And so seeing these links between these different worlds has been very pea for me. Coming back to you though. I'm curious, going back to 75 Hard. And this is how you know this is like a genuine conversation because I am very much this all over the place in our normal conversations, guys. I love issues. And I will side note it. I've been told a couple of times, because now I have friends who will start a story and then they go into a different story, and then they're like, ha ha, it's now payback. The cliff hanger that you leave us with. But going back, I'm just curious with 75 hard. Were there moments that you felt like your body had to ask you to slow down and be listened to instead of being overridden? And how did you navigate it? Since it's such a I don't want to call it strict protocol, but it isn't typically they don't call it 75 soft for nothing or like 75 hard for nothing. It's not a soft, easy process. There is that part of like your body does get to a point where you're it feels like, oh my god, this is a lot. Yeah, there's those moments of exhaustion, right? Depending on how you sleep, depending on what the weather is. For me, I'm a multi-sport athlete. You know, I'm training in the gym, I'm playing tennis, I'm at the mountains snowboarding and doing all different things on top of what I do in life. And there are moments where, like, I just don't have a rest day. And it's like, but is that true? And that's what it is. I start to go to quality questions. Is that really true that I don't have a rest day? Is it really true that I have nothing left in me that I can't go walks of 45 minutes, or about I can't do some nice gentle yoga for 45 minutes to feed my body, nourish my body? Sometimes on our rest days, that's what we need. We need that blood flow. We still need it. You know, we don't want to get stuck in the intensity that you it is, and that's what it is. It's adjusting and meeting myself, like we need others, meeting myself where I'm at for that day. You know, and being flexible and being adaptable. And in this free community, I named grit in grace for this reason. You need grits to follow to your own commitments that you made to yourself. And for this exact reason you're saying there are gonna be days that are hard and you just don't want to do it. You know, my house flooded, of course, and my knots flooded the day after Christmas, and I was starting 75 hard the next day. Did I have every excuse in the world to not do 75 hard and not follow through this community? And you know, absolutely, could I have given myself that permission? Would it have served my higher self for what I want to be and what I want to achieve? Because the truth is, life is always happening. There will always be a bump or something that's going to disrupt. And I gotta tell you, living in grief for the last three to five years and putting myself on the back burner and abandoning self till I could come out, that was one of the beauty and gifts in that. I'll never let that happen again, no matter what's going on around me. I'm always gonna find a way to honor myself and honor my health, because if you don't have your health and if I don't have this energy, I can't be forever young. I can't be on an out and snowboarding. I can't be helping people and doing these events that are, you know, 10, 12, 16 hours a day for days on end. You know, or if I don't take care of meat. So it's planning for longevity in that long. So yes, days get hard. Hard days I don't want to do things. Sometimes I might have like the girl meets woman, you know, like we were in classic fields, but we're painful. And then for night, I can put on music and dance, and wait, that counts as movement. Dancing counts as movement. Yeah. Right? Sometimes I joke with all these AI infrastructures that we have. Like when I was still in corporate, I would go, Mom, could you imagine if I had like a robot of me that I could sit as well? Okay, and I'm gonna have to do my job, and then I still got the check. Yeah. And I was like, I mean, life doesn't work like that, but how cool wouldn't that be? Right? And it was just like you come to this realization, and even as innovation is getting to extremes, that you have to just buckle down and do it. And now it's going to be fun. But fun, but playful, playful, making things playful and fun is the key. So like great and grace, right? Great for the determination, the commitment, but you also need to have the grace and the softness for yourself for when the days are hard and to be able to hold space for yourself. Because if you can't hold space for yourself and nurture yourself, you can't, you're not helping anybody. Yeah, you're not, you're burning yourself out, right? Beautiful. Well, it's true. Put your oxygen mask on first. I used to think I'm the one that can put the oxygen mask on everybody and not have a problem. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Where else did that pattern show up in my life? Right? Anyone surfing from this place of exhaustion and burnout, it may have looked fine to people and they may have received me like, oh, she's great. But were they really getting me? Yeah. But where else did that show off? So yeah, having that great and having that grace for yourself, whether it's 75 hard, whether it's not 75 hard, but just life. Have that grip, have that grace and have fun doing it. Because if you're not having fun, you are doing it wrong. Make it playful. Make everything playful. Get in touch with that child with it. You know, if it's you have to make lists and you don't want to make a list, break out the markers and the color pencils, you know. Whatever it is for you, break out the fun music. Yans and shimmy a little bit. Whatever, whatever brings you joy, go toss a frisbee or a ball or do trick shots or silly stuff like balancing pins on cans. Be a child. Be a child. It makes everything better. You forget. You forget. So that's the actual bring into it is that play. So it's gratitude, play, fun, grace, grit, and just loving yourself. Beautiful. So I'm curious because you do a lot of body work, not only both in career and then with what you are all about for yourself. So I'm curious, at what point did you realize that being strong both physically, but I'm talking more about the emotional aspect now has started to become a requirement of having armor and armoring up.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Great question. I was told in an event back in August a business mastery action.

Strength Without Armor

Asking For Help Without Losing Self

Nervous System Safety & Softening

Community, Coaches, And Receiving

SPEAKER_01 33:41

By multiple particular that I taught them with my presence, my energy. That they always thought their strength came from being loud, having the biggest voice in home, having like physically looking. And what I taught them is that real true strength is in the voice and presence that you eat. And that's not the loudest voice in the represents the strength that you need. So my with my coaching, it's all about whole body health, whole body nourishment. So when we're training body or we're working on nutrition, we're rushing our body, mind, soul, and sphere. It's all encompassing your emotions, reality, it's all connected. And the pieces are all connected. It's not straight functional fitness, not straight nutrition curve, not straight lifestyle behavior. The emotional strength. I would like to say maybe flexibility, adaptability, resilience. Everything really is about your mentality. But there's anything you're born to train, you need to train everybody above people look like they, you know, you can put someone up in a cabin in the woods, secluded, freedom the best wild salmon, give them the best program in this world. But if they're stressed and constantly thinking about their to-do lists or what's going wrong in their life, they're not going to get the result that they need. So the real training that happens is with mindset and how you approach things. And this is one of the things that from being a high-performing athlete, my entire life. This is what sports taught me. You know, it's mind over matter, no matter what the weather is on the day of the race or what's going on in your life, the day of the match, you've got to step up and you've got to perform. And I had a coach that told me when I was younger, and it stuck with me my entire life. Only as good as your worst day. Right? I had a huge match that should have been a slam for me. And I still won it, but it was one of the hardest matches I had ever had, and I didn't show up as I needed to show up because I had all the other stuff going on. And I'll let it come in. You're only as good as your worst day. And some people get that and they go like, oh, that's harsh. Why would someone say that to you? For me, it was a gift. I was like, it made it click. The reason I wasn't playing well is because I wasn't here. I was out here somewhere. And then getting in my head in a whole different one. So the mindset training, getting to these exactly. Pattern interrupts. That's exactly what it is. So again, 75 Hard and getting to maybe you're you think you're just applying it to the program, but then you start to see the carryovers of what you're applying in 75 Hard into everything that you're doing in life, and you just become more conscious, awake, and aware of why you're doing what you're doing. If you're if you have the courage and the vulnerability to be honest with yourself and really take a hard look at what you're doing and why. If you even know. Beautiful. So I'm curious. Sometimes, and this is kind of the main point of this conversation, but per usual, I got a little sidetracked. Sorry guys. Elizabeth will be back though. Asking for help can feel like a threat to an identity. What has shifted for you as you start to allow yourself to be more supported? I know that you and I have had conversations where it's like, I don't know how to let down the armor and ask for help, but I know I need to. So what was the shift on your end looking like? Where it was like, I know I can't do this alone. And God, creator, whatever you want to call it, doesn't ask us to walk by this path alone. We are communal beings, but I feel like especially if you are when it comes to the fight, flight, bond, freeze responses, if you are a flighter, much like myself, you are much more tempted to isolate. So how do you find yourself being able to be comfortable in asking for support? Yeah, so I'll be in straight out honesty. This is uh this is my next part of the journey. This is the journey that I'm on because it's a dance with me. Being a single mom, being on my own, having to handle things on my own. It is very easy to just walk it down and try to stay focused on what I need to do when you're acting out of Sir at fight or flight. Once shifted for me is what you touched on, which is we are communal beings, beings. There is a feeling of belonging and sense of community and connection that we need as humans. And so with that, my focus has shifted to developing relationships. And it's putting yourself out there, being open, being yourself, no mask, come as you are. Because we can't truly expect. I mean, so many of us get so mad that people aren't the way that we thought they were. Very, very sit and pause and ask yourself the question: well, was I really who I was when I met this person and showed up for this relationship? Right? Rejection is one of our most core criminal fears. And so often when we develop these relationships, we might pretend things are fine when they aren't. We might show up as a certain type of ourself because we know that part of ourself is accepted, but the part of us that needs help is back here. And then we get upset that our friends aren't there for us or that people are only there for certain parts of our life. And it's because we didn't show up as we needed to be. And or we abandon self for connection because our need for love and connection is so high. We accepted breadcrumbs, which was a big for me. I could go full we can do a bunch of right just like breadcrumb treatment, because I feel like exactly the story mimics that quite a bit. Exactly. And so one of the big mic drops for me that was was shifted was when Tony says we get what we tolerate. Right? So if we're tolerating this with our connections and we're not being To ourself, and we're constantly feeling like people aren't there for us, it's not easy to go out there for help. So, by stepping into me, really stepping into me, refusing to abandon self anymore, love myself, cried through the people that have detached themselves from my life naturally. What's allowed is these beautiful connections like what you and I have and what I've been developing within, you know, the community that I am reaching out to that are saying back to me, it's not just me saying, I got you, what do you need? People like you are reaching out and saying, I got you. What do you need? And who that you mean, right? And they hold that space and that presence, and you can just breathe, let go. So that's this is my journey. So learning to receive help and ask for help and letting people know that, yeah, I might not be okay on the day. And that's okay. Because also when we show that we're not okay and we share that story, we don't get we don't get we're not caught up in the drama of things. Like we're not dramaticizing our our bad gaze, right? It's just we're acknowledging it, we're sharing it. It helps others feel like, oh, it's okay that I feel this way too sometimes, right? Yeah. And receive that help, receive that love back in that we pour out into others. And this is beautiful. This is like next level unlocking of like loving self and allowing others to love on you and receive that help. It feels good. Beautiful. So that actually brings me into another question, which is how do you feel your nervous system responds when you realize you don't have to hold everything alone? You still have a little bit of uneasiness because it's oh different. So your nervous system, when you're used to living in survival mode and used to just pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing, and you're feeding yourself cortisol constantly. When it starts to release, you're you can turn into a sloppy puddle. And so emotions start coming up that you thought you dealt with that maybe are resurfacing things. From there. Yeah. Things come up in this process of letting go and letting your nervous system come down because you're you've been digging it so much. Your mind's always distorting, deleting, and generalizing information. And so sometimes you might think that you have progress in an area where it's really just like, nope, we got so much going on, we're just gonna push that over there. And so this it's a softening. It's the best way I can describe it. There's this softening in my nervous system where if I sit down and to enjoy a cup of tea, or just I know I need to take a break and just relax the release. I truly am present with myself, allowing myself to be present, not thinking about a thousand and one things to do. And sometimes it's just like this big release of this is great. And other times it's a box of Kleenex and maybe a journal, and things are just coming up because I'm just letting go. Beautiful. And I just want to make a point that many people, women especially, equate independence with safety, but our bodies actually tell a little bit of a different story. And it's slowly about nurturing our bodies to feel safe in asking and receiving support. I say this with full transparency, though. This is an art, not a science, and it takes time to actually get to that place. I know a few weeks ago I had a moment and I hadn't leached out in a group. And I was kind of done this like SLS, if anyone's available, because for some reason I find myself in a lot of bi-coastal relationships, including this one. And so I think it was like close to 5 or 6 p.m. on a Friday. So I wasn't sure where the ladies would be at. But I was like, SLS, if anyone is available, I need support right now. And I remember in that moment having two chains of thoughts, which was wow, don't be a mother. Like you should you have all the tools on your own. You've been studying this work and embodying this work for years. But in that moment, I knew that the let's call it monkey mind was starting to kind of go rampant at me. And I was like, okay, if I don't talk this out, this one or two hours of like spiral is gonna literally leak into a weekend if I don't put it to stop it in that. And so I did the uncomfortable action of putting the SLS signal. And then the first five minutes after I sent that text, I'm sitting there going, can I just then send it to my channel? Just was pregnant. Maybe. And then even after you do make that move, you may have this moment where you want to cut off the potential to be seen in a vulnerable life. But what it really did as I sat with the discomfort, and then I was sitting there going, Okay, don't I you feel the urge to just like delete this out? Why I had to literally sit there going, well, why? What's so comfortable for them to know that, hey, I'm having a rough day, or my thinking might not be as where it should be or where it is normally. And I realized having a coaching background, having the breathwork background, having the full knowledge of the tools at your tool belt, it makes it almost feel it's another layer of vulnerability to ask for that help because it in our minds sometimes it feels like, well, I have all this knowledge, I can do it myself. But this also brings me to why coaches need coaches or why coaches need masterminds. Because we are not meant to do it alone. And if we could truly hold the space for ourselves, no one would need a coach. Let's just be very transparent. If we could always hold the space for ourselves, no one would need a coach. The reason we need it is we need that outside perspective, that outside, call it ray of sunshine. Because what happened was I allowed myself to be held in that moment by two different ladies from my dear mastermind group. And I was so relieved. But by the end of one of the phone calls I was on, she kind of had this moment where it was like, dust off your crown. Like, I know your brain is equating this and this situation to I'm a failure or I'm whatever. And she was like, I don't think you give yourself grace for the fact that you are so young, you are still in progress and you are still in motion. But in our moments, we tend to be 10 times harder on ourselves than we are on others. So there is that beauty in the community. So I bring this conversation up. And part of the reason I wanted to have this conversation and lead with this point was because I find that even in the coaching space, we tend to want to call it shield our vulnerabilities because we think we should have it all together. And in fact, when I used to be in corporate, I remember very clearly saying, once I figured life out, yet fully gone through the journey. I was still in the podcast, learning through podcasts and books at this stage. But I remember going, if I figure my shit out, and if I ever cooked to it if I when well I was like 24, 23. So it was very much it. I still have a lot to learn. Which at least I had that openness to learn. I'll give myself that. But if I ever figure it out, I will be a coach and it will help people get through it. And I realized after a certain point, you never really fully come to this, like, oh, I'm I'm I'm just done working on myself. Oh, yeah. And then I remember being at a Tony event one day, one of the days, and he had mentioned like he has four or five coaches to this day. And I was just like, What? Yeah, because you look at Tony and you're like, this is the godfather of the damn industry. What the hell do you need to work on? And I think there's a beauty of, and they just did a podcast with Sajan and my let and she was talking a little bit about their bad days as a couple and how they handle that. And it was a beautiful reminder that it doesn't matter who you look up to or how not together you think they are, they are still working through. And they may have tools that maybe don't take it doesn't take a day for them to get back into place, but they still have these moments where because they are human, and this is part of the human experience where they're like, what that is going on in my life, right? And I use the beeps because we all know Tony is a cursor. And he's he talks about that, right? It's it's friending yourself with a peer group that's going to help you rise, it's gonna help you peer these times. And you know, another big moment for me was and you bring up safety, is finally feeling safe within myself. I was looking to external resources, external people to make me feel safe, like a toddler. I didn't feel safe within myself. I'm like, and I was, you know, having I was having a moment and I was curled up in a fetal position, crying in my bed, just feeling really, really sad that I was dealing with a lot of stuff on my own, and why wasn't anyone there? And that's when it hit me. Do I really need someone there? Do I? Because if I do, I'm gonna feel this way forever. Every time I was up, every time I feel like I need to go in the fetal position, like I don't want to keep this up. I don't want to keep this pattern, this thought process. Until I find a partner, I'm gonna be sad and like this in these deep dark moments, dealing with grief on my own, like just wanting someone to be there, right?

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Uh-huh.

Breath As An Anchor

SPEAKER_01 52:27

And so I started giving myself what I needed with those moments. Acknowledging, hey, I got you. I had never felt safe in my body before. I didn't realize that it was a breakthrough. We have a breakthrough, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. What it was true. And that that also started a whole detachment process from external things. Because as great as it is to have community come home to you and have those poaches, like you mentioned, time zones are always like they're always gonna be there, and there are gonna be those times that we can't reach out to someone. Yeah. Or that we do reach out and we don't get a response back. So what do we do? Yes, I do spiral. I spiral through. We all will. It's just that I don't let the spiral continue to go down and down like the Tom and Jerry cartoon. There comes a point where it's like, all right, Elizabeth, grief, what is it that you need right now that you want from someone else? What can you give yourself right now? What is it that you need that you would give your kid or your mom or someone I care about? What would you be giving them right now if they felt this way? Yeah. I think for me, the big thing is that when I am having a spiral and I don't feel for whatever reason comfortable enough to be let me reach out to someone. Because that for me was actually quite out of character. You need to do it in the moment because I have a very bad habit of I will allow myself to spiral, I will pick myself up, and then I will share the roof washer and forget first. Well, tell me you're a coach, you're not telling me you're a coach. But what are you saying? This is a bad habit. What is this this language? Well, it's a bad habit because it's like way after the five. I'll be like, I'm by the way, I lost so you kind of spiral, and then the response is kind of like this unison of like. And you didn't think to reach out. Then why? Like how we started this conversation today before we get recorded?

unknown 54:34

Yeah.

Gratitude, Celebration, And Play

SPEAKER_01 54:37

I get it. I get it. It was in that moment, the one we were talking about, what helped me through it was actually getting back to my breath. Because I knew if I could just control the breath, I could control this is gonna sound a little lack of a better word, it sounds a little controlling. And but my anchor was back to the breath. And I was like, if I can control the breath, I can start to regulate these thoughts. And then if I can regulate these thoughts, I can actually regulate the nervous system. It's so important. So I just I wanted to point out like part of the human experience, it's not a straight line. No, it's not. You go through these ups, then you're down again, and then you're up, and then oh, by the way, you think you're up, and there's a sci-mind thing hi that you did not anticipate. And that's part of this human journey. And I'm just what I'm trying to do with this podcast, and I hope that you guys are recognizing that the straight through line will always be that no matter what cycle you are on, if you can get back to your nervous system, if you can find people who make you feel safe, there are things that can make the process easier rather than making you feel so alone during it. And we all have moments that it feels like, oh, no one understands this. But the reality is I've come to find the human experience is not that unique. We now have a flavor of everything. And while the experience, the actual physical experiences might be different, the reason I say that it's not unique is we all default back to the same patterns, back to the same emotions, back to the same beliefs. When you say that's true. Absolutely. Everything that season there's dips and downs, and all this really really can't be horror and gotta drop big print pulse. Maybe playful head like what I'm in these these worlds now, absolutely. What do you say, Rashley? A thousand percent. So I'm curious what brings you back into your body the quickest when you have these moments of what I call a shutdown. I just saw one was a cat. I think I think cats Life is better with seriously. Like a barometer, I know. But when I when I have these moments, it's coming back to gratitude for me. It's coming back to breath as well. Coming back to what is it that I need right now to throw this or be the buffalo and eat a buffer or something? I've adapted because buffaloes run through the store, they don't want all I right and to go with your everything's temporary, remind myself that everything is temporary. So I'm curious for you. How do you recognize the difference between when it's time to soften versus striking? Great question, depends on the situation. Well, for you, typically. Wait. I mean, we would be use real world examples right now with the blood and construction and the uncertainty that's around what's going on just with, you know, it ficless triangle of housing, right? Having secure Picky roof over your web. I soften with grace and gratitude that we still have a roof over, that we are still able to be in this space right now, no matter the disarray. And I have to strengthen and use grit to do the insurance stuff to move this process forward, regarding what's so it's a softening and a strengthening. I think I think that's what it is, it's not one or the other. It's giving yourself grace in whatever the situation is, and then knowing what it is that you need to get to that next step. Well about doing right, but when you're in these types of situations where you just can't sit back and think that the universe is gonna take care of it. The universe has a hammer, but it's a whole different type of hammer that how it's back to the right, and they have a whole bunch of you know, universe is just different in how it shows up. So the universe can align people. We still have to take that action forward. Does that answer? Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_02 59:47

Beautiful.

Becoming Without Proving

Rapid Fire, Links, And Closing CTA

SPEAKER_01 59:49

And I'm curious, once a gentle state shift someone could try today, that still honors where they are, in your perspective. That's exactly it. It's just honoring themselves, like taking a breath, celebrating the fact that they are here taking a breath. Celebration is I should have mentioned it earlier. Celebration is a huge one. It goes hand in hand with me for with gratitude. I think of them as one and the same. What can you what can you celebrate right now? Do you have a down moment? Like, what can you celebrate in this moment right now? For me, like even on a cloudy day, it's like it's always sunny, it's just the glass are in a way. Celebrate. Can it doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you, right? Go immediately statement, finding that gratitude or taking that breath, or if you have energy and you want to be playful about it, what is it that I can celebrate right now? Like, oh, my hair looks really good. Something, right? Yeah. I get to share a screen with. Anita with her beautiful smile. Yeah. It's been beautiful. Like, what can you celebrate? That would be the the one thing I would say is pretty universal. And that can usually put you at trillion song films on the radio. Music for music. So I'm curious. We're about to wrap up finally. I told her we would go for 40 minutes and we're over an hour, but that is okay. Huh. As you can tell when we talk, we get very deep, and she likes to listen to my story. So there's that. Yeah. Um so who are you becoming right now? That you don't feel that you need to perform strength in the same way that you used to. Yeah, so is this goddess, Anita, truly, this goddess of effortless essence and elegance. It's really conditioning her. You know, my father talked about life is a journey about being and becoming and the fabric of our life. And the goddess just needs to be conditioned more and more. And I want to be I'm not striving for the next. I'm striving for enhancement. I want to enhance the being that I am. Yeah. And just let the think in and let her shine and let her play and let her out and see, see where it takes me. And it's the first time in my life I'm not looking at what's that next? What's that next thing I'm gonna do to achieve? What's that next thing that I'm gonna do to I don't know, prove my worth? I was about to say that has to be one of your uh top. I call it even a limiting belief, but it's what in Kabbalah they would call it, it would probably be one of your tikons, which is your soul's corrections. Yeah, I can acknowledge, I think you and I resonate quite a bit because I have similar. My entire life had spanned into who can I prove, how can I prove, and it's ironic. I have a birthday coming up while we film this. And the other day, my grandpa and I were having this beautiful conversation. And for those who haven't heard the latest episodes, he is diagnosed with a cancer. So every day I'm just grateful for a gift of having his wife and his breath. But uh, there was a moment where we were having this beautiful conversation, and he looks at me and he goes, I just cannot wait to see your name as you start speaking on these stages. And then as you become bigger, and who knows, maybe you can be like the Tony Robbins guy because everyone knows Tony Robbins is huge in my household. But he goes, I cannot wait for your name to be on these stages and lights and for you to prove who you are to others. And I had a feeling I knew who he was speaking about. There's a few family members in our little like tie, but I literally had this beautiful moment, and I could say for the first time in my life that I actually said it with certainty and conviction, where it was just like anyone I used to think I had to prove myself to, I don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:23

Dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:25

So good. I was like, if I have to earn my place in your world, if I have to earn your respect with things that I am doing, and especially if it's monetary, I don't need that. So it brings us back to whole and complete where we are. So this is just but the reason I brought that in Humanab is to finally be able to say that, and it was the certainty of it. It wasn't I'm just saying it because I don't care and blah blah blah, and try to act like I don't mean it. It was I'm saying it and I actually believe what I'm saying, and that is how I feel because the little girl in me, the seven-year-old that used to operate and run life, used to be so concerned with, well, how can I prove myself? And if I do X, Y, Z, will I get such and such recognition? Will I get their approval? Will I get their love? And I finally got to a place where I was like, what if I just don't need it? Kenny just circled back to the beginning of this conversation, right? Being our authentic self, being in alignment, showing up as we are, allows everything in our life to show up as it's in alignment with us. And the things we need to perform for, the things that we need to earn, the relationships that we forged, not being truly who we were. Fall away. Yeah. And that's what it is. So it's it's your own, it's finding more fans up for you. Which also goes back to 75 har finding your commitment for you, for your worth, what you want, not because a book tells you or because a program has a checklist. And that how is that congruent and aligned with your identity? So beautiful. So good. I love you. I like routine. Final question before I hit you with one of my favorite parts of the interview. What would you tell a woman right now who's afraid of that honoring herself means losing her aunt or losing herself within how she's perceived?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:46

What else is it costing you?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:50

Ah, I love that she would hit you back with a question. And the answers are in the questions. What what else is this costing you? Showing up like this, not honoring yourself, not being you. That's what I would say. What is this where you want to go in your life? And when is enough enough? How much proof do you need that you're loved for you to be you? Beautiful. So before we dive into the rapid fire, how can people connect with you? What is new in your world? Ooh, how can people collapse with me?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:29

You mean like a social media thing?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:34

A social I'm gonna put her on the spot. She actually does this. I heard something about an upcoming podcast. Tell us more. You get into the world and what will happen. Band-aid off album podcasts, and you are gonna be my first guest. Absolutely. So excited. Yes, that's I mean, that'll be ways to have more conversations to get in contact with me, my socials, which are you gonna have a link for those in this? I can link them down. Do you have a preferred method? Do you like Instagram better to connect? Facebook Instagram over Facebook. I'm more active on Instagram than anything as far as socials. So that would be that would be best is to reach out over that. Yeah, and then I can give an email too. So messages tend to get lost if they're not direct through a text or social message. Come in emails. Beautiful. I will link everything down below. Thank you. And I always end my podcast with a rapid fire. So think about one word to one sentence, depending on the question. And it's gonna be the very first thing that comes to mind. You ready for me? A book that's changed your life. Atomic Habits. Love that one. I actually said I needed to reread that one. One word that describes your current season.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:18

Goddess does not count. Winter. She went literal. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:28

A daily non-negotiable that fuels your power.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:33

Movement.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:35

A song that instantly lifts your mood. The bristle that comes through my mind is 99 buff balloons right now. I was just wondering the stormtrooper and it was I did a whole video on a stormtrooper a day in a life, and they listened to 99 buff balloons for the first time, and it was this amazing reaction. So I'll do with that one. Okay. I'm not judging the answers. Best advice you've ever received in one sentence. You get what you tolerate. Ooh. Okay. That's been a theme for this week. Anyways. And lastly, I ask every single guest, regardless of their gender. Yes. Listen to the whispers of the testimony. Okay, that's a good one too. One thing you want women to stop apologizing for themselves. I'm guilty for this too. Why do we have to apologize? Why? Why are we sorry for being us? Why are we sorry for laughing and for smiling? Like, are these really things to be sorry for? Who would are you modeling for everybody else?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:02

Yeah. Beautiful answer. That means that could be a whole podcast. So Elizabeth, thank you for our conversation. And not just for how you shared or what you shared, but for how you share it. What always stands out to me is this reminder that strength doesn't come from pushing ourselves past our limits. It comes from honoring what's true, embodying what we feel, and allowing ourselves to rise without the armor. And for the woman who's listening, who's been holding it all together, wearing the masks, calling it resilience, let this be your permission slip. You don't have to abandon yourself to grow. You get to include what your nervous system, your body, and your humanity feel safe in in the process. So again, Alzheimer, thank you so much. It has been such a gift to have you here. Thank you for modeling with what regulated or regulating, let's call it, embody leadership looks like. For everyone that's listening, stay present, stay honest, and keep rising. And if you enjoyed this conversation and you're listening to this wrap-up, thank you so much. Feel free to share your thoughts in the DMs with us and the comments below. And if you can, share this with a sister who might need the reminder that it's okay to not be okay. Until the next one, that's all for now. Take you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:50

Thank you for rising with me today. If this episode moved you, share it. Tag me at Arise with Anita, and make sure to subscribe so you never miss a future activation. And if you feel cold, leave a quick review. It helps more women find the space and rise into their power. Your next level is already waiting. Now go clean it. I'll see you in the next episode.