3: Regulation as an Everyday Ritual

Today, we explore the quiet intelligence and brilliance of your nervous system. The way it speaks, the way it protects, and the way it softens. This episode is a gentle invitation into nervous system literacy, nature connection, and reclaiming the safety of your own body. 

PAIRED PRACTICE -  A Practice to Nourish Your Nervous System

Transcript

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Welcome to Rooted in Flow, the podcast. A podcast about remembering. Remembering how to come home to ourselves, to the earth, to our bodies, and to the cycles of nature, and to the wisdom that resides within us. I'm Avery Cash, a yoga instructor, teacher, nature lover, slow living human, and someone who believes that healing doesn't have to be loud to be real. This is a space for quiet things, for slow growth, for the deep remembering that our bodies hold. Here, we'll explore healing through nature, yoga therapy, the nervous system, and slow, sustainable living. You'll hear stories from the garden and moments from the forest, gentle teachings from yoga, and maybe even a few lessons from my chickens or the other animals that share our home. Some episodes will be short reflections, and others will be grounding practices that you can return to over and over again. But every episode will invite you to slow down and root into your own nature. If you've ever felt like the world moves too fast, if you're craving softness, presence, and embodied connection, you found the right place. So welcome here. Let's begin. Hello and welcome back to Rooted in Flow, the podcast. I have so much gratitude for you being here. This podcast is all about quiet things and slow growth and those deep rememberings. And today I want to explore something really tender, but something very essential and something often overlooked. And that's the nourishment of our nervous system. So before we get into this, if you're able to, just taking a moment to ground, and we will have a practice a little bit later into this episode. That's an even deeper invitation into nervous system nourishment. But in this moment, if you're able to close your eyes, and if you're not, just softening your gaze or focusing on something nearby. And just begin to bring awareness to your body. Just noticing your feet on the earth or wherever they are. Beginning to soften the shoulders, soften the face, the jaw, and maybe deepening the breath just a little bit more. Taking a quiet moment for yourself. Releasing tension in the shoulders and the back. Can we find a little bit more softness? Finding a little bit more space in the rib cage as you inhale and seeing if you can increase the length of your exhale. And in this practice, before we begin our podcast for today, I invite you to bring forward something that you have gratitude for, just in your mind's eye, just bring forward something that you have gratitude for. Feeling it surround you, connecting to your heart. taking one more deep breath. And whenever you're ready, blinking open your eyes, coming back to the space that you're in. Let's begin. So this episode is a really gentle invitation to notice how your body isn't doing and to really soften into presence and to remember that regulation, we hear this word a lot, it's kind of a buzzword right now to be regulated, but it's feeling safe and steady inside your body. And it's not just for when things fall apart that we have to regulate, but it's something we tend to, like a garden. And if you listened to last week's episode, that's what it was all about. But practicing regulation is something that, it's a practice. It's something we tend to every day. And the background here is, my story is, I used to think that I just was not good at being calm. And I would look at people who... We're really peaceful or seemed really peaceful and seemed like unbothered and seemed really grounded. And I would assume, okay, well, you're just made differently than me. And we mean we all are made differently. But that was my mindset is that, you know, my restlessness and the tension that I felt and the way that I always felt on, like my body always felt like it was turned on. And that was just how it was. That was me. And I think back now. really like my whole life i felt like i could not rest like i don't know if i ever allowed myself to rest looking back i'm not sure like i think when i was an itty bitty kiddo i probably you know had rest and i i just feel like it was go go go and and a lot of that was driven by myself driven by environment but i don't really think i ever rested I'm not sure I ever relaxed. And when I think about, okay, well, how did I relax? How did I kind of release? My ways of coping were to disassociate and my ways of coping were really to escape, to escape my body. And looking back, I'm not sure that I ever was really connected to my body. I looked at my body like a machine. Something that I expected to just keep up. But I never felt connected or embodied to this physical vessel. And I was actually pretty mean to it for a very long time. And I've done a lot of healing work around my relationship with my body. As many of you listening I'm sure have as well. And when I was in university I started practicing yoga. And I practiced... In my basement bedroom, maybe it was high school, but I want to say it was like in that kind of high school to university transition. But I remember practicing in my basement bedroom. I didn't really go to yoga classes. And I started to notice these little shifts within my body of like feeling into parts of my body that I had never felt before. And when I'm holding a pose, I would kind of just be looking at my feet or my hands. I'm like, whoa, this is so silly, but this is my physical body. This is my physical vessel. And the initial reason I started practicing yoga was to become more flexible, as many people in the West start that journey, to become more flexible. But one of my yoga teachers says, she always says, yoga does what yoga does. And we learn that even though we enter this practice oftentimes through the physical, it is so much bigger than postures and poses and breath. And as you continue to practice, it truly becomes a way of looking at the world and a way of life. And I would love to get more into the limbs of yoga at another time. But as I reflect back on this time period of my life, my nervous system was, it was on. It was always on. And I was completely dysregulated. And I don't even think I knew that I was dysregulated because I was so disassociated. But also because my dysregulation looked more like a fawn response. And we know, often hear of like fight or flight. But, and I was like, well, I'm not a fighter and I don't really run. Like I've done both, but I was dysregulated. I would become very submissive and very like I did not want conflict because if conflict happens, I'm not safe. So it's easier to take care of the people around me and make sure everyone else around me is comfortable because then that keeps me safe. And oftentimes that looks like the people pleaser. And I think sometimes being a female. those expectations are a little bit, it's okay that that's how I was showing up because I was caring, right? But when I look back and I actually reflect, I'm like, oh, there was a lot of dysregulation happening because I physically could not really connect to my body, but also just be. And slowly, like slowly over time, and really through yoga, but also through different therapeutic modalities and through time in the forest and time in nature, and then also listening to podcasts and studying the nervous system and going to school to do my post-bac in counseling and getting that really kind of Western brain piece of understanding the nervous system, I began to understand something really important. And that's what I wanna share today is that My body wasn't broken, but she was trying to protect me. And thank you. Like I work with dysregulated, people who are dysregulated often, and it comes down to like, our bodies are doing their best to protect us in any moment. Like, thank you. So just having a moment For you, if you're listening to just honor the physical body right now because it is so intricate and the design is incredible. Our nervous systems are amazing. But today I want to get into the basics of kind of the nervous system in a way that is accessible and And also using nature as a co-regulator. And then we'll get into a little practice. But I want to share just a couple days ago, my husband and I were... We ended up in a park. And we were walking our dogs through this forest. And it was a really... It had been a pretty hard week, a pretty heavy week. And I just remember walking through the forest and just noticing like... The way that the trees were holding the light of the afternoon and watching our dogs walk through this natural space. And without even trying, I felt my shoulders just drop. And I felt my breath deepen. And I felt my dress soften. And it felt like coming home, not to the forest, but coming home to myself. When we think about the nervous system, our nervous systems are like our internal weather. And they're constantly shifting from moment to moment based on what's going on around us and what's living within us and our past. And some days, you know those days where like it rains and then the sun comes out and it's just like, it's spacious. And it's safe. And some days that's where we are or some moments that's where we are. It's that sunshine after the rain and it's just ease and we're safe and everything just, it feels good. And other times it feels like a storm is coming in really hot and really fast. And that sky within us darkens and our breath becomes short and quick. And we brace our bodies without even noticing that we're bracing. But here's the thing, like when we think of the weather, and just like the weather, none of it is good and none of it is bad. It just is. It rolls and it changes. It shifts. And each state that we're in tells us a story. And each shift that we move between carries meaning. It has meaning. So when we feel safe and connected, safe and connected within ourself, which can often and sometimes take some work, and safe and connected and have belonging with others or with the earth. A lot of us have heard of like the vagus nerve. And when we feel safe and connected, it's called a ventral vagal state. But we don't need to get caught up in the In the lingo, it's like it feels like spring in the body and everything is gentle and our breath is wide and expansive and we're open and we are curious and we can laugh and we can connect and we can make eye contact and we can take in the beauty around us. We feel like ourselves. We're regulated. But then sometimes something might startle us. So for me, I'm really sensitive to like a sharp or loud sound all of a sudden. Or maybe a memory comes flooding in. Or we remember something, anything that happens too much or too fast or too soon. Our body shifts into a sympathetic activation. So this is when we hear fight or flight. And this is when the weather is turning fast. And we've all been here. and the winds are picking up and our muscles begin to brace and our thoughts are starting to speed up and we feel anxious and we feel restless and we feel irritable and we're ready to run or ready to fight or react in some way. And we've been there. And then when that becomes too much, if the overwhelm becomes too great, and we don't feel like we can escape, our system puts us into a dorsal vagal state or a freeze. We freeze. And many, if there's any educators listening, sometimes our students can be in the state and we're not really aware because they're quiet. The fight or flight is a lot easier to see and recognize, I think, in the body, whether in other people or in ourselves. But that freeze state, imagine winter. But winter in the body, and this thick heaviness, this fog comes in, everything feels slow, and things feel far away, and we feel numb, and we feel disconnected. And maybe we've disassociated or we've completely gone in just, and this is just to survive. And we've been here. And we live in a society where there's a lot coming at us all the time. It's hard. It can be really hard. But here's what really matters. None of this is wrong. You are not broken for feeling any of this. But when we talk about regulation, can we notice? Can we just notice? When we talk about yoga, can we notice the state? Because your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do. It is designed to protect you and keep you safe and survive whatever is unfolding, whether whatever the things that are unfolding are happening outside of us or or if they're happening inside of us, and it's reminding us of the thing that we're experiencing, and they are not flaws, it's actually incredible intelligence. So when we begin to understand this internal weather system, and I like to use weather as kind of a visual point rather than the language like, using the dorsal vagal or things like that just because it feels like we can kind of describe it and use we all can understand weather and we all can connect to that so just noticing what is the weather within your body what is your internal weather and as we continue to notice and continue to practice this we explore how do we meet ourselves in this storm how do we meet ourselves when it's springtime how do we meet ourselves in those moments and how do we find our way back to the sun so the basics of i mean obviously there's so much more but that's kind of a basic overview but when we think about nature and when we think about regulation and we think about our experiences and i just i think that one of the greatest gifts in my own healing journey. And that of many people I talked to has been remembering that we don't have to regulate alone. And it's important that we have people in our life and it's important that we have connection and community. But I wanna talk about nature as a co-regulator. And when I step outside, Intentionally. And with presence. And feel the earth beneath my feet. Something shifts. And my breath slows. And my jaw softens. And my senses start to wake up. Like there's a gentle rising of like, okay, here we are. And when we're near, like, I'm just looking out at this. In my creative space, my husband and I each have a creative space in our home, and I look out this window and I see this beautiful, huge mother maple tree. And sometimes I go sit under her when I just need a moment. I lean on her and allow her to hold me. And there's something about being near trees or birdsong or even the sound of wind moving through grass. that reminds my nervous system you are safe, you belong, you are held, you are connected. Because our bodies evolved with the rhythms of the natural world. And we're not separate from it. I've said it five times and I'll say it a hundred more times, probably more. But modern life convinces us otherwise, convinces us that we're separate. So when we re-enter those natural spaces, like a forest path or sitting by the water or even like your garden bed or a park, a bench, anywhere, it doesn't have to be, you don't have to travel to do this. It's not just getting fresh air. And oftentimes like, it's like, okay, I just need a breath of fresh air and absolutely not. but we're returning to a relationship that our bodies remember. We are returning to a relationship that our bodies are connected to and our bodies remember. And I know that we keep connecting back to nature and I think this is, I'm here to do that, but I just think of animals. I think of my dog when she crawls up into bed with me and she lets out this big sigh. And she just settles beside and just releases this big sigh like she's settling in. And I watch our chickens and they dust bathe. And for those of you, if you're not familiar, dust bathing is they basically find, you know, some sand or some dirt or something loose and the chickens go in and they do this sweet little dance and it's a way to kind of keep mites off and things like that but so it's a natural chicken behavior but they have the same spot that they go to in the sun every day and even just looking out at the sky right now it's a beautiful blue sky but the sky doesn't ever apologize for cloud cover And the moon doesn't try to change the phase that she's in. And in nature, with animals and with the natural world, there is no pressure to be more than what you are in this moment. There's no pressure to be more than what you are right now in this moment. There's no timeline to rush. Like there isn't. There's no productivity to prove anything. We show up and we do our best. We show up and we're good citizens and stewards of the earth. And some days we show up more regulated than other days. But we do our best. And nature is always regulating. It is slow and it is steady and it is honest. And when we spend time with her, when we spend time with the natural world, our bodies reconnect to her rhythms. And you do not need to go on an epic hike, although that sounds awesome, or spend time totally off-grid in a cabin. to regulate with nature. It can be stepping outside at work, going for a walk around the block. It can be standing on your porch and just feeling the breeze on your skin. Or just taking a moment to lie down in the grass. When was the last time you lied down in the grass? Maybe you plant something. Maybe you plant a flower or seeds or herbs and you just watch it become. Because we're all becoming, aren't we? And these moments are so small. They don't require extensive amounts of your time, but they're powerful. And they remind us that regulation does not need to be this complex thing. And it can be found in stillness and in soil and birdsong. And sometimes when we're dysregulated, we always feel like we're in a society where we have to talk about it. What's bothering you? Let's talk about it. And I believe in it because I do that on a daily basis. But sometimes we don't need to talk about it. Sometimes we just need to move our bodies. Sometimes we just need to spend a little bit of time outside. Sometimes we need to take a walk to support that regulation. Because we're never really alone. Maybe alone from other people, but we can step outside. We're never alone. And nature... always holds a rhythm and that rhythm is always available to us and it is always welcoming us back home. And the more that we can attune to this rhythm, the more we begin to trust our own. We begin to trust our own rhythm. So I'm looking at the timing of this recording and I do want a practice and I would like to bring that in, but I'm going to kind of close that section of the podcast, this section of the podcast first, and then we'll get into that practice if you're able to, or you can revisit when you're ready to. But I want you to know our nervous systems are so wise and they hold our stories and they are our protection and they're our instincts and they're always trying to help us survive. But survival isn't the same as finding our wholeness, right? And we deserve to feel safe and we deserve to feel connected and we deserve to feel our aliveness and we don't have to suddenly heal overnight. Maybe this triggered something in you of like, oh yeah, there's some dysregulation happening. And maybe we begin to notice it. And if you begin to notice it, if we can name and like, just notice like, whoa, I'm dysregulated and name that, oh, there's such power in that. Because then we can come back to these practices. A breath or a drink of water or a tea or a tree or finding a quiet corner and I just invite you to find and notice one thing that nourishes your nervous system and if it feels possible finding that thing that nourishes your nervous system if it feels possible I want you to give yourself five minutes with it And it's not something you have to earn. We don't need to earn rest and earn breaks and earn our regulation. We just get to receive it. So thank you for being here and for listening and for remembering with me. And until next time, may you root so deeply and may you breathe slowly and trust your inner wisdom. I'm going to attach the grounding practice in a separate episode so it's easy to find if you are ever wanting to come back to it. I'll talk to you soon.