Episode 43 Spring Hair with Amalia the Healing Hairstylist

Join us as we explore the healing power of touch, the significance of self-acceptance, and practical tools for managing stress and hormonal changes during menopause. Our guest Amalia Rauch shares insights on how hair and self-care can be transformative and healing.

Disclaimer: This is general information and education. This is not therapeutic or medical advice. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi everyone, and welcome to Take a Pause with Menopause, where we will talk about the pause and all of her glory and not so glory, but the conversation will always be honest, um, funny, and you know, um, well, just funny and honest, and just let us know like, hey, this is what's happening with menopause. We're going through it and we're trying to figure it out and help you girls figure it out all at the same time. We got a whole lot of real coming at you. Oh, yes, yes, real talk. Here we are. And today I have that was Raquel, my um partner in uh menopause, and she's one of my favorite uh co-hosts. And uh we have today, lovely, my favorite, but again, don't let everybody else know. But we have Amaya who is hello, who is our healing hairstylist, as we call her. And this, you know, we've spoken to you before about like, you know, the cuts and how women's hair are changing. But today, we're gonna talk about how like stress can be seen in the hair and how you know you're you're in the chair and you feel calm, and somebody I know for me, when I get my hair blow-dried, oh my god, you're just like this calmness. So I get a sense that you create this calmness in the chair for your clients. And we're just gonna talk about that and basically help everybody spring forward because we are gonna have this posted in April and it'll be spring forward. So it'll basically help everyone get a new start on this horrible weather I know here at the East Coast that we've been having.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

So we sent it back. We just volleyed it back over there. Sorry. Yikes.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Yeah, we definitely did.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Yeah, I'm not gonna talk about our weather.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

I promised you I would not. Nope. We no, but I would like to say, welcome girls, and welcome, Amalia. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

I'm so excited to be here. I love chatting with you ladies, and I'm excited today just to, you know, dive into like the power of touch, relaxation, establishing new routines in honor with the season and you know, everything that comes with that.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Perfect. Because I do think there's different energy too with seasons.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Oh, there really is. You know, I feel like winter's definitely a time to kind of like hunker down, but spring is really the time to kind of plant seeds of moving forward. I find behind the chair I do my biggest hair transformations during spring because as we're, you know, we've entered the lunar new year, we're kind of looking ahead, the days are getting longer, we're getting excited. It's a good time to just kind of like leap forward, make a new change, just kind of like present a new self to the world and just plant seeds on who you want to be this year. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

I know it's almost better than you smelling like the grass and the soil in the spring when everybody's out doing their first gardening of the year. You know what I mean? Like this is like this is about you and your hair.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

Absolutely. And our hair is a plant, we are plants, you know, and just like deciding what we're going to grow in our garden, I think it's important to treat our hair in a plant in that sense of like, okay, what is our hair going to need? What is our scalp going to need? And it's really like just invigorating and inspiring time.

unknown 3:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

I'll tell you, I just recently had my hair cut by Amalia. I went in and I was just spun. I was just having a spun day. Yes. Yes, even though I'm out here talking about minopause or minopause and minopause every single day. Yes, I can get spun. And I was totally spun. And after we washed and cut my hair, I I have felt so much better. I genuinely felt a release, like just an energetic, like, oof, that's gone. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Yeah, there is a big release, especially when we cut hair. My mom was a hairstylist, and I have so many just vivid memories of like when I was in middle school. Anytime I would get stressed out from like finals or like tests or just extracurriculars, I would always say, Mom, please chop my hair off. And she would say, like, are you sure? I'd say, Yes, I just need it. Because I felt even then intuitively that something about releasing really brings catharsis and it helps regulate our nervous system. I think of our hair like a crystal almost, or kind of like fascia within our bodies, where we're holding on to things, it can hold on to memories, it can hold on to trauma. You know, like on a physical sense, of course, if you you know, we've talked about internally, if you're feeling kind of out of whack, your hair reflects that. But I also think like spiritually and energetically, if you're feeling it. So I think kind of by yeah, reestablishing and like letting some of that go, it just it feels so good. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

I know maybe when I got super sick, all my hair had fallen out. You know, it was like, ha ha ha, good luck with that. But then as it started growing back, I remember thinking, like, I'm just gonna shave it. I just wanna sh just go full Britney Spears on this, you know, and just shave it all off. Like I was just like, I like I just don't I didn't want that memory in my head anymore, you know, of like me with his like a couple of strands of hair, and it was just like so overwhelming. So yeah, that's a really that's actually really fascinating. I didn't connect those dots to just now.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

I know. Which is why, again, I wanted to ask, you are the healing hairstylist. Now, listening to that description of how you described just being having the catharsis to like just say I'm gonna cut it. What how do you how did you come across or how did you start saying, Hey, I'm the healing hairstylist? Like, what was your process in that?

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

What's your story? Yeah. Yeah, I I would love to share. I think I've always, you know, going through kind of like memories of that of just like cutting my hair, I've always felt a very like intuitive tie to my hair. And when I started doing hair and being behind the chair full time, I just I kind of saw how the typical salon interaction was. You know, someone just coming in, coming out, maybe there are two people kind of bouncing back and forth in a chair, and your hairstylist is on the phone, and it's just like bing bang boom. And it felt like it really just lacked like soul for me. And at the base of it, I believe that hair washing, you know, getting your hair done, just like touch in general is such a sacred service, and it's something that is so needed as a society, as people, as women. You know, we just need touch, whether it's massage or getting your hair done. So I really kind of decided to make, you know, getting your hair done more of an intentional thing because there is so much catharsis. It can be such a huge thing, whether it's releasing sadness or changing your life or like celebratory. Getting your hair done is usually not the kind of thing where you just want to come in, sit down, not interact, not talk, you know, and then leave. It's it's just not. So I think for me, that's when I really kind of became the healing hairstylist. I'm just like, I truly want to make it the healing service that it is and honor the the sacredness of this place. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

I re I have sat in chairs where there's the full disconnect, you know, where you just are like, please don't talk to me. I just want to sit here, you know. Like I don't, I don't really have anything else to say. I just and it's uncomfortable and you dread going in and you're like, God, I don't want to do this, it's gonna take eight hours, or you know, you know, you just start to like come up with everything. But yeah, I I genuinely love that you've like made this more of a sacred type of, you know, and or more intentional, like just however you want to look at it, you know, because that really makes a difference. Because I look forward to our appointments and you know, barfing my craziness on you or not.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Yeah, it's cathartically, it's just cathartic. And I think of too, even your last appointment, even though like you girls were in a meeting for half of it, I feel like just being inside a place that's calming, it's energetically grounded, and you can still get your things done, but it provides just a sacred container for all of it.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah, yeah, and just the whole the the calming thing because everybody is, you know, like human touch and physical touch. Yeah, they never include um hairstylists, you know, it's always the massage therapist, it's always, you know, the, you know, you can have like Reiki. Uh, you can do, but it's like this list, but it's like never, and it we're missing the whole point because you are literally like your hands are on our head, which is like the, you know, like it's everything like the chakras. It's like your crown chakra, your third eye. You're all right here.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

And it's like you are in it, it's an energetic exchange.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Yes. Yeah, yeah. That is such a like unique way to think about it too, because I like again, I didn't even put these, and we have talked multiple times. Like, wow, I'm not sometimes just don't miss the, you know, don't connect.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

But that just kind of there inherently, you know, and sometimes it's like that light bulb moment where you're like, I knew it, I felt it, but uh I wasn't able to put words to it.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Oh, that's yeah, yeah. That helps that happens a lot, especially in this space.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Well, yeah. And and with space, like where you say, like you, you know, you feel great, you feel you have that safe space. Yeah. You know what I mean? So how do you? I mean, I am sure Raquel can attest to this, and you can, but how do you create your safe space for somebody coming in that you can pick up on their energy that you're like, okay, they're they didn't have a bad, they're having a bad day or maybe a bad week or whatever, and you're just like let it all out. How do you create that? Do you do like any type of treatments or do you just thing first and foremost is having my own studio?

SPEAKER_02 10:42

I'm a huge fan of that because like you know, some people go to group therapy. I always prefer one-on-one with my therapist, and I feel like hair is kind of hair-pie. And I feel like just knowing and just knowing that it's like the two of us, I think automatically creates a safe space. And I think too with verbiage, you know, I treat all of my clients like I would my friends of like, hey, what's going on? Like, you know, I feel like intuitively I can just pick up on things. I think I have like high pattern recognition, and I can tell when someone comes through the threshold, like what kind of day they're having, what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

And I feel like you knew I was a train wreck before I opened my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

I was like, oh, she's got energy today. But I think having that, you know, it's a really unique skill that I think a lot of healers have. But I think it it allows me to kind of open up the space for the people who come in, like they truly are a friend, like it is a safe space. And whatever comes up, they can just be authentic. And I think too, especially women in perimenopause and menopause, we need a space where we don't have to just smile and say, yes, everything's good.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

You can really just be authentic and raw.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

That's perfect. Now, on, you know, I understand how like uh because I can pick up on people's energy also. But when you're in, you know, for a day, how do you be kind to yourself? Because sometimes when you you know, you do absorb it. Like I, you know, you try not to, like you try to ground yourself, but there is some absorption that takes place.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think in any kind of job that you're interacting with the public, it is an energy exchange. And for me, you know, I am like a certified meditation teacher and energy worker, and I feel like those tools really come in handy. Okay. Because I can ground myself at the beginning of the day. I can ground the space. And I think having those tools, this is something too, when people come in and when I see that they don't have any energetic tools, I will go through a meditation with them. I will give them a few skills that they can use at home because I think this is something that everyone needs to know of how to ground yourself, bring back your own energy, and just feel like you're in your own body, like in the present moment.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

And I think too, like we taught, you know, those are all like key words that we all talk about, but learning how to do those things and like with somebody that's been trained like yourself, and you can like have those conversations, like that makes a huge difference. Because I for me, I I mean, you could say, like, oh, you have to eat better. You know, when I was super sick, I had lost like a ridiculous amount of weight. And they were like, Well, you just need to talk to a nutritionist. And I remember being so excited to have that appointment, and it was like, Oh, you just should drink some almond milk with less, you know, that has a little more calories. And I was like, That's it. Like, I I need a roadmap here. And so to have someone like teach you and like tell you what these like keywords mean and like how to ground, and you know, here's what meditation should look like. It's not just listening to some like frequencies, you know, like that's a that's a really big piece of the puzzle, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

I do, I do agree.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

Yeah, I I think it's huge of you know, I'm a big believer too of like I will see a professional for about anything, anyone who knows what they're doing, because I think trying to learn things on your own and you know, okay, maybe it's gonna work, maybe it's not trial and error, that can be exhausting and our energy supply is limited. So I think, you know, seeking information out like truly by someone who knows what they're doing in in life, I think that's key.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Oh, I agree. I can't agree more. Yeah. Yeah. I agree because I think a lot of times too, when people think meditation, they think, oh my God, do I have to, you know, sit looking at like a flickering, you know, flame or sit quiet for hours. And you don't like you really don't. Like you just need to know when and how to do it. And you can do it anywhere. I mean, that's and it's so calming.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

It really does help, especially as we're in the yeah, even something as small as breath work. Yeah. You know, for me, I've been to silent retreats, I've kind of done it all. And for my ADHD that's only been exacerbated by a perimenopause, that is like a layer of hell for me. So I think that's bad. Like things like that that don't take a lot of time, energy, or focus, that can be a game changer.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Because when like for myself, like when I would, you know, go to this one yoga studio and you know, it's always like the different type of breath where you're like closing one nostril to another. For me, that would make me feel like I was suffocating. Like, and I would be watching other people, and they're like totally in on it. And for me, I I just couldn't, like, I don't know. But then, you know, they did another, like, you know, like box breathing, like you count in. That to me is my jam. So anytime, you know, you count for four, hold for four, and you can't breathe out for like six or eight, like that. How or whatever girl math you want to do, right? That to me is like the jam, and but it might not be for everybody. But if people only think there's one way to meditate, then they're like, Oh, that's not for me. Well, there's so many different ways. So there's so many different breath work and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Sometimes my grandmother, though, um, growing up, she would always be like, I'm gonna just count to 10. And I always laugh when I'm like counting for the breath work, and I'm like, well, I think she was actually doing this.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

She was trying to calm herself.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Exactly. Exactly. Calming herself without realizing. And I was like, Are you at 10? I'm at 10. I'm like, okay, all right, we're good.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

You know, it works.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

But it's like, it works, you know. So that's very funny. But um, I do still my favorite word out of this podcast, we may find another one, but herapy is still what I'm herapy. It's top notch. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Top notch. Herapy, I feel like I truly am a herapist. I think especially because, you know, when I was in high school, I've always wanted to do hair, but I really did want to become a licensed therapist. And I feel like this, you know, that it was so much school and it lacked kind of the creativity and artistry that I was looking for. So I feel like this has been able to kind of like blend everything. Oh, yeah. You know, and I think for me, it's it's one of my favorite things. I'm just a deep connector, and I'm I know both of you women are as well. And I I I just love being a heriapist.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

That well, that is, and that does make a difference. I mean, honestly, because we've been, you know, I've all every woman has been to that place where you can hardly wait till the blow dryer goes on so that you can like fill the the you know the void or fill the not talking or yeah, whatever. So to be able to sit in a chair feeling safe and just you know, talking about calming issues after you've just blurted out your day, but then you walk out and you don't even realize you'd be driving home because Raquel was like, I felt like you're like, oh my gosh, I feel amazing, you know, and I'm sure everybody's like, on the way home, talk to Texas.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

I'm like, I just I'm really sorry. I was just I used to use my therapist today. I'm gonna make an appointment.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

That's what I'm for. You know, the more therapy, the better. But I'm like, that is what the space is for of like, let's just be real, let's talk about real things. Yes, yeah. And I think too, something I also want to mention is I do have some clients too who request like quiet appointments, and the space is still being held. This is something kind of newer that's emerged over the past few years because some people don't really want to open up or, you know, who knows what's kind of going on behind the scenes. And also, I do want to express to anyone listening or watching, if that's something that you go into the hairdresser and you really dread, she's maybe not a therapist, you know, or maybe she's kind of giving more energy than you're able to give. Yeah. I hope everyone feels empowered to ask for like a silent or quiet appointment because you know, your your hair is so important and your appointments are your time. And just feel empowered to speak up and say what you need.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Yeah. That's a great point. And actually, I had no idea that that was a thing, but that's a really good point because there are a lot of women, I think, that again, because it goes back to us, none of us put ourselves first. So, you know, we have so to be empowered and educated on things like that, like that's huge. Yeah. Because women might avoid coming in because they're like, you know, maybe something's happening in the marriage, maybe something's going on like hormonally, maybe their kids are stressing them out, and they just like can't have one more conversation. I know when I was going through like the the real bulk of like the like hormonal shifts, I've anybody even talked to me. It was like like it felt like somebody like hitting my skin. I was like, oh my god, oh my god, I can't, I can't. So you're overstimulated. Yeah. Hyper stimulation is just incredible.

unknown 20:32

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

It is, and you you don't realize it until you get like literally to that point. And you're like, if one more person or you hear some a phone or something, you're like, I just I just want to go and sit there and just be, you know, quiet.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

I my husband bought me like beats, like headphone beats so that I could just like tune things out because it was so bad, it was like oh my god. I and it is just this bizarre thing, but I understand. And I really appreciate you bringing that up.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Yeah, and I think too, especially, you know, like again, with my ADHD being exacerbated by periomenopause, I think if you have any kind of neurodivergence with the switch in hormones, it goes up. So yeah, you're more prone to being overstimulated and just all of the things that come with that. I think being able to, you know, go into your hair appointment or nail appointment, whatever it is, and just be like, hey, I want a silent appointment. I just want to relax and vibe in a calming space. Yeah. Like, heck yeah. Heck yeah. That's totally.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

And, you know, with um going back to ADHD, like I didn't even realize, but that is a true thing because, you know, my husband would call it squirreling, you know, because um like he's like, you go into bed, and I was like, I'm going up to bed. And he laughs now, and he's like, sure, you are. I'm still gonna be in bed before you. And I was like, that is not true. And then it is because then I decided I didn't water the plants. Let me water the plants when I'm upstairs. Oh, let me finish. The towels are still in the dryer. Oh, let me do this. And oh, did I do did I find that birthday bag that I wanted to give for some? And I'm like in this spare room. He's laying in bed. And he's like, 20 minutes later, he was like, Did you go to bed yet, Mara? And I was like, Well, there was he's like, one more thing. One more thing. And you don't realize like you knew that was gonna be a pattern. Same. And it's like always, but it's like you just can't let it go. Like you're you're in that cycle and you just can't calm it down. And it's just it's exhausting, but you're still like, one more thing. I have to do one more thing.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

One more thing. Yes, my partner even bought me one of those like rebounding trampolines because I'm so bad at watching TV and movies because I'm like, oh, let me go do this. So she bought me a trampoline so that I could actually just jump on it and feel like doing more, you know? Yeah, that's actually pretty wise.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

I really like this. Yeah, but what you have to do if you do what I do, as soon as you start the movie, you see somebody familiar and you're like, where'd they play at? And I'm on my phone, and my husband would be like, I don't care. I don't care where they played at or who they what they Oscar they won. I don't care. And I was like, oh my God, but it's from this movie. Yeah, like I just I can't watch the body.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

I mean that when Trembling comes into play.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

Did you know they went to like Notre Dame? And McDonald'll be like, what?

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Like, well, yeah, I just thought that was important. Right. And then you start the conversation half in your head and half, and then I say to Mark, and that's where they went. And he was like, Where who went? I'm watching the movie.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

And I was like, Well, I wish I could because I wanted to tell you to rewind because I missed a chunk because I was looking things up. Yeah. We're future.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

Maybe maybe we should get that trampoline. I mean, I if that's something to keep me focused on.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Well, my office chair is a yoga ball. That's why I'm always wobbling around. Oh god. But I don't think that that like helps me any because I'm always like, oh, I'm gonna fall off this thing. Yeah. So I'm gonna I'm gonna try the trampoline. It works. It totally does. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

I'll have more control. That is. Are you on the ball now?

SPEAKER_01 24:38

I'm yeah, can you see me wobbling all over?

SPEAKER_02 24:41

If we see her, go down to Maya or be like, we'll know. We'll know what happened.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Yeah, yeah. I'll just be on the ground. Just let me just be there. Oh my gosh. All right. So what about people that come in and they hate their hair? They hate everything. They're just in that space. How do you reframe that? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

That's that I will say is the most difficult kind of client because I've had a lot of clients over the years who have really struggled with just acceptance and loving their hair.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Maybe so, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Yeah. And I think it is. It definitely is a symptom of something deeper going on. And I've seen, you know, one person who pops up in particular. She, I did her hair for many years. She wanted to go get a perm. So I referred her to another stylist. And then she decided to wear wigs for a bit. And then she came back. And it's kind of like that root was still there of her just struggling with how she felt and looked in the mirror. I think, you know, that is something that we all go through at one point or another. But I think our hair, you know, it's just a symptom of something deeper. It truly is. And I really, when women come in, I really try to address every concern. I try to give them as much knowledge as possible and talk about solutions. But I really start to turn the conversation kind of like, okay, how do we reframe these negative core beliefs, these negative self-beliefs? Because you ultimately have to make peace with what is, or else you're just an opposition. You know, and we we want things to flow.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Yeah. The flowing is where I'm at. I'm I'm a very fluid person. I just as long as things are just kind of like shh, then I'm like that. But if one thing goes off right now, and I'm like, okay. It just feels so overwhelming. So yeah, the flow I think is a really good, a really good idea. And I know women to practice.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

Yeah. And we've said this I I know before, and and I know myself too. Does it that you women tend to hold their confidence in their hair? Yes. Yes. Yeah. You know, and it's like you have a great hair day, you're gonna have a great day. Yeah, you don't evidently you're gonna have a bad hair day. And you could be having a good day, but it's like oh you'll find everything wrong with that day because you're like, well, look at my hair. Look at it. I had to put it up in a, you know, a top knot or I had to do something. And it's like that whole thing, it's like your identity. And I think that women struggle with feeling like they're losing their identity in menopause, and then the hair is like the last straw.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

I know. Yeah, yeah. And I think too, like what it comes down to, I think exactly what you said. Like our hair is kind of the dictator on a good or bad day, but especially when we feel out of control internally or in our lives, our hair is the first thing that we go to that we can control.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Yeah, that's I'm telling you, I almost shaved my whole complete head. I just was like gonna just buzz it off because it was so overwhelming to think about like, what am I gonna do with these four or five strands that are hanging off my hair with my 80s perm? You know what I mean? Like it was a difficult space. And so I noticed, and you you even said it last week, like my hair has turned a corner, like it's gotten healthy, it's decided to love me again, like it's f it's full again, and I I I'm in love with my hair again. So it's just kind of full circle, like the way that you feel, how you treat yourself, how you show up for yourself and your hair.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

It's so true.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

I think you know, the the saddest part for me too about women coming in and just hating their hair and really not knowing what to do, feeling so much frustration is when I look at their hair, I really I don't, I'm not able to see what people see. Someone comes in and they're like, My hair's like thin, it's like too coarse, it's frizzy, all of these things. But when I look at these beautiful women, I'm like, girl, your hair looks great. Like it truly comes down to something internally and how we talk to ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yep. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the the negative talk is what we said, because I think, you know, women come in and to have them change from, oh, I want to look younger, you know, I wanted that hairdo that I had when I was 20. Okay. Um have them see, like, look the best that you can where you are now. Like, accept who you are. Because if you keep looking at the 20-year, you know, your yearbook picture, you know, like we're never gonna create that. I mean, first of all, I'm not gonna use that kind of aqua net ever again. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

I'm not gonna use those that amount of aqua net again.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

That um, you say cement, I say lovely, loveliness in a can.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

I mean, I definitely used it for cheer in my for my daughter.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

It was like, that stuff wouldn't move. Oh, it wouldn't Yeah. You could wash your hair and still feel like it was still in there. Yeah. I mean, imagine that the amount that we would have. Oh, I I did. Just average so much. Just average.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

I swear to God, my bangs are like this. Yep, it was a shallow. They were straight up, and then my bangs just had a little curl at the top.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

I was like, I don't want that hair. I know, but people I think get caught up on that, and then you know, they they focus on that, and it's like, I want my hair to be exactly like that. But I think, you know, just loving yourself, just knowing who you are and being like, hey, if I don't like my hair, shave it off. Don't give it the the energy that everybody does give it, I feel.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

I wonder too, if like we do that, like we look back at our hair like that, and we just we remember that as being a time that you know we were happy and joyous and things felt good to us. So maybe that's why we try to like regroup to that hair.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

That is a huge part, I think, psychologically. When I've seen when you said that, I was like, Yes, you have hit the nail on the head. Absolutely. Look back and they think, you know, they they see themselves as younger, maybe thinner, maybe happier, you know, maybe their lives were more simple. They felt, you know, like if they didn't eat enough protein or fiber, it didn't affect them. There's so many things that things are good. You can have a Mountain Dew and a some chocolate dipheads and be happy. Five hours of sleep and a cigarette, and you're good. Where now it's it's things. Thank you. That was me in the 80s and 90s, Among Thank you. Like where things are just things are just different. So I think too, when people do bring in those pictures, exactly what you said, Raquel. I think they're looking back at that version of them, yeah, the way the world was, the way their life was. And that is kind of what they're longing for, not necessarily the hair.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think that's the thing, ladies. Like, don't don't long for something that's past, grow into something new. Like, for me, that's how I'm looking at it. That's how I'm taking this whole menopause journey on. Like, I'm not gonna mourn the past version of me. I'm going to learn how to be a new, better, improved, whatever that looks like, whoever I am version.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

The most you that you possibly can be, the most authentic version of you. Yeah, you know, I always think like, what does that look like? What does her hair look like?

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Yeah, you know, yeah. Mm-hmm. And just to embody that like energy and just to have that confidence in yourself, I think is huge. To me, anyways. For me, that like those are things that get me through. And then I notice when I feel more confident just internally, like my hair just like, oh, look at that curl, it's a little bit better.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

Yeah. You know, it is it is true. It's but you didn't give it the energy, like that's the whole thing. Like you feel good in yourself, and I think that's just finding your true authentic self is yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

I mean, again, the people at Trader Joe's are probably sick of me talking about menopause, but I just go in and every time I'm just like, and anyways, let's talk about menopause in the cashiers. Like they should know.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

They need to know. Everyone needs to know because if you don't, it can throw you for such a loop. And I think too, like, then hyper focusing on maybe like the hair or like dietary restrictions, you know, focusing on one piece, it really can cause you to spiral.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

It does when you start ruminating on things and you're just like, oh my gosh, I just I and you you can't get out of that. You're like, I just I have to have my hair like that. If I have my hair like that, then everything's gonna be like it was. And it's not, it's not so it's such a facade.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

It it really is because you you don't even but like you said with the control, that's absolutely right. Because things don't come at you one at a time. Like you don't get a hot flash and get over that and figure out how to yeah, you know, how to deal with that, and then something else. No, you're gonna you're gonna get it all at one time. You're getting the hot flashes, the itchy skin, which still would have thought itchy skin would have been in.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Or just you're getting the ringing in the ears, standing in the kitchen with a ball of anxiety in your stomach, you're like, why do I feel so anxious about nothing?

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Yes, you know, so it all comes at you, so you don't have time to process one thing at a time. So it's like your hair is what you are trying to just cover. So I think, yeah. If we had, what would you if you had any daily affirmations that you would think would help? I have one that I say all the time, but what do you guys have? And we can share, or what do you have to give or kill?

SPEAKER_01 34:29

I'm gonna let you guys go first. Because mine are always like money money focused, like today's my day.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

Which I love that. I think too, affirmations really can be anything. I think sometimes people get lost in them because they have to, you know, they think they have to be a lot deeper or hyper-specific. But you truly can just look in the mirror, look in your own eyes, and just say, I love myself. I am grateful for myself. I embrace my changing body, my changing hair. You know, I show up as my authentic, you know, authentic self. It really can be as simple as we need it to be.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

That's so true. I do, um, I am confident today. I have like a little card that I keep in my like makeup bag that when I flip up the top, it's like right there. Because it is something like so easy and simple. I forget it if I don't see it. Like you have to, but I think people get so caught up like it has to be longer. I I took this one yoga class and she was saying, you know, you grow and then I grow and then I'm I'm the seed, and then so I'm like, oh wait, I'm the seed. Wait, I'm the and that's like, can I take notes? And I was like, wait, where is this going? And I was like, I'm trying to remember my affirmation. I am a seed that grows and then I bloom. Okay, seed, but then I was like, forget it. I cannot even remember. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

It really can be simple. It can be so simple of just like I embrace my changing body, you know? Yeah. I show up authentically, I love myself. Or my personal favorite. There are some cuss words in it, but I think you might get a kick out of it. Go ahead. I'm a badass bitch from hell, and no one can fuck with me.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

That is my personally love that one. That is my that is my daily affirmation. That is 1000% my new one. Yep. Right after I'm gonna make a million dollars today.

unknown 36:23

But yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

Listen, we said in the beginning that this conversation was going to be honest, direct, real. And that is the best affirmation that I have ever heard because nobody, everybody like makes some B PC. And I was like, Okay, absolutely. It's you, right? It's you. You can say whatever you want to say, but still I'm like, I'm a seed, I will grow, I will grow.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

No, if you need to tell yourself you're a fat ass, then so be it. You know? If we need to conjure some power, yep, then let it fly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

And then just straighten your crown, which could be your hair, but it's an energetic crown. Just straighten it and be like, girl, there you go. Shrug it off. Like, shrug it off.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Shrug it off, put some pepper stuff and move forward, you know? Get your groove back, Stella. Get your groove back.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

I I mean, can we get a coffee mug or t-shirt with that? That's what I need to figure that out. I mean, I'm thinking that. Yes, yes, yeah. I think we're gonna have the box. Healing the healing hairstylist.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

Like, we're gonna piece together. People think that healing and like anything woo-woo is like all love and light. Where I'm like, you know what? Sometimes healing is driving to the middle of the force and screening. Yeah, sometimes it's doing kickboxing to release stored energy. Sometimes it's shaving your head, you know? Like it comes in many forms. It doesn't have to be light and graceful. It can be messy and loud because that's just kind of a part of life. It's like menopause.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. When menopause came on, I have more times than I can count now screamed in my car, like at the top of my lungs, which is just really therapeutic for some reason. It is. I mean, it's a brand. And I'm sure people are like, what is she doing? But I'd be like, oh no, trees take the energy. I got I've got to just do it. I love trees.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

I I feel the same. Like I have so many pictures. We'll go on vacation. And people will be like, oh, like l they'd be like, Do you have that landmark? And I'm like, no, but next to it, look at this tree. Look at it. Like, look at and they were like, it's a tree. And I'm like, no, no, no, look at her. She is a badass. Like I will say, like, that tree is a badass. And they're like, so many trees. So many trees in my pictures. It's it's very funny. But um too. I know. But um, girls, I yeah, I think how else could we leave without saying that? I think that affirmation, uh we're gonna have you say it one more time as we go out, uh, to be like, okay, this is what needs to be said because it doesn't have to be PC and it doesn't have to be prim and proper and how you think it should be. Be your authentic self. This is what I have as my takeaway. And we we can go around and do our own takeaways. My takeaway is be your authentic self, right? Yeah, don't care about your hair. Like just care about being your authentic self. And if you're that, everything else will fall into place. And pick a great affirmation of we're gonna help you uh find one today. That's my takeaway. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

My takeaway is say it like you mean it. When you're saying I'm a badass bitch from hell, you mean it. And mean it for yourself, not for anybody else. You mean it for you. Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

Yep. Right. Your takeaway, Amalia? I think my takeaway is just like you said, man, to live authentically, focus on loving yourself first, and everything, including your hair, will fall in line.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

I do. I do uh agree with that. And for all of our listeners who want to hear the best affirmation I've heard, Amalia will uh repeat it again. And I say I thank you, and I can hardly wait to see what our next one will be because everybody is gonna be like, yes, these are the best, truly the best. And I can't thank you enough. And we will end with how we normally do that we will, as Raquel and I like to say, we'll see you next Tuesday. Just put that in. But we're going to lead with the wonderful affirmation. Beautiful. The hair thing.

SPEAKER_02 41:01

So our affirmation for today. I want all of us to take a nice deep breath in, out through your mouth, and say, I am a badass bitch from hell, and no one can fuck with me. I am a badass. I'm a badass bitch from hell and no one can fuck with me.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

This is really good. This is not made for kids. I'll make sure to check that before I post it. Correct. Correct. I loved it, and I just feel even more energized and empowered just listening to that. Yeah. So I um we will see you next time. And this was great, and thank you again, Amalia. Thanks, Maria.