The Honest Middle Ep. 6 | Living in Alignment (Without Burning It Down)

You’ve done the work. You’ve awakened. You know something is shifting…

But your life still looks the same.

Welcome to Episode 6 of The Honest Middle series, where we talk about the part no one prepares you for…👉 the in-between

The space where your identity is evolving, but your reality hasn’t caught up yet.

In this episode, Ana breaks down how to start living differently without burning your entire life down and why the real transformation happens through micro shifts, not massive overhauls.

We explore how to stop abandoning yourself in everyday moments, how to trust your body over conditioning, and how tools like Human Design can help you make aligned decisions that actually stick.

If you’ve been asking: “Do I stay? Do I go? Where do I even start?”

This episode is your grounded, no-BS answer.

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode

•  Why you don’t need to burn your life down to become who you’re becoming 
•  The power of micro shifts rooted in truth
•  How to stop living from “shoulds” and start living from alignment
•  What it actually looks like to trust your body in real time
•  How Human Design helps you make decisions with clarity and confidence 
•  Why you feel like you’re failing (and why you’re actually not) 
•  The difference between awareness vs. embodiment
•  How to begin rewriting your identity through action

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome + what “The Honest Middle” really is
02:15 – The moment where everything feels different… but nothing has changed
04:30 – Do you burn it all down or stay? The real question
06:00 – Why you don’t need to blow up your life to change it
08:10 – Micro shifts: the real path to transformation
11:45 – What alignment actually looks like in everyday moments
15:20 – Letting go of people-pleasing + embracing discomfort
18:40 – Human Design explained simply (and why it matters)
23:10 – The 5 Human Design types + how they make decisions
29:30 – Why you feel like you’re failing (but aren’t)
34:15 – Awareness vs. embodiment: where most people get stuck
39:00 – Boundaries, identity, and real-life integration
45:10 – How to start living your new identity today
49:30 – Invitation into deeper work (Discovering You)

🔗 Resources & Links

✨ Get your free Human Design chart:
 https://www.lightoasis.co/freehd

✨ Explore Discovering You (next-level integration + embodiment work) join the Waitlist: https://www.lightoasis.co/discovering-you-live 

🔑 Keywords 

identity shift, personal growth, self trust, human design, alignment, embodiment, nervous system, self awareness, transformation, boundaries, healing journey, spiritual growth, life transitions, becoming your highest self, mindset shifts

Connect with me!
Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/growwithana
Business Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lightoasis.co/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@growwithana_
Subscribe to my Newsletter: https://www.lightoasis.co/newsletter
Work With Me: https://www.lightoasis.co/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, my friend, and welcome back to the shit that matters pod. If you are new here, hi, hello, I am Anna. I'm the founder of Light Oasis Co. and I guide people through whole human healing: mind, body, emotions, energy, identity, all of it. Not just understanding yourself, but actually living like it in real life. And this episode is part of a series that we are currently in called The Honest Middle. And this series is for the version of you who knows something is shifting within you, but your life doesn't fully match it yet. Okay, you are in the process of becoming. And if you've been listening from episode one up until now, you've probably felt that build up, right? You have realized that autopilot has turned off, awareness has completely turned on, identity is starting to shift for you, and you've hit that tipping point of like, okay, I can't go back. But now the question is, but how do I live differently? How is my becoming different from what my becoming was before, right? And how do I do this without blowing my entire life up? Which is something that a lot of people feel like they need to do, okay? And a lot of people, I feel like, don't talk about this, right? Everyone just shows the before and after, everyone just shows we we've been talking so much about this in this series already, is what people show you in terms of like the highlight reel of their life versus showing you the real shit that it is that they're going through. And that's what I want to really help you uncover and rediscover yourself through all of that. Okay, so let's talk about this. Everyone loves awakening, everyone's like, oh my gosh, I'm awake to my life, I'm awake to the lies and living out of the matrix and blah blah blah blah blah. Everyone also loves the awareness that comes with it. Like, oh, I'm so self-aware. I'm so in tune with my body, I'm so in tune with my thoughts, etc., etc., etc. And everyone loves saying and just believing that they are becoming a new version of themselves. And that's great. That's that's great. I want that for you. I want that for everyone. But what nobody really talks about is that moment when you're like, okay, but I still have this very real job. I still have these very real responsibilities. I still have these bills to pay. I still am in this relationship though. I still am in this version of my life that was built by the old me. And now I'm sitting here and I'm like, well, damn, like, do I burn it all down? Do I stay? Do I go? Do I change everything? Do I change nothing? Where do I start? Where do I even begin? Right? And that can feel very paralyzing because you don't want to abandon your life necessarily, but you also can't pretend anymore. You can't. It it's just it's not in you to keep pretending. So let's go ahead and just ground something straight away. Okay, you don't need to burn your life down to start living differently. Um and honestly, I feel like I need to say that again because I I know that you heard me, but I need your nervous system to hear me. Okay. You do not need to burn your life down to become who it is that you're becoming. What you do need to start doing is taking some micro shifts that are rooted in truth, rooted in how it is that you actually do want to be living. And really get yourself out of the conditioning, out of the, well, I should do this, I should live this way, I should keep this job because it has, you know, the benefits and etc. And it makes sense. I should fill in the blank here because it's practical, you know, like because it's normal, because that's what everyone else does, because that's what everyone else expects of me. Fuck that. Okay, you you have to choose these little micro shifts that very much are in line with who it is that you are becoming, who it is that you want to be. And sometimes that's not gonna make sense. Sometimes what it looks like is not gonna make sense, but it makes sense in your body, and that's all that matters. Okay, we're gonna talk a little bit more about this today. Like how to really follow your own energy, how to really trust yourself, right? So living differently doesn't always look like you're quitting your job tomorrow. However, let me be very clear. There have been people that I have worked with, women that I have worked with who have done this very thing because they realize, like, oh my gosh, this is just not in alignment with me anymore. I can't continue giving my time to building someone else's thing, someone else's, you know, whether it's a nine-to-five or it's another business, it doesn't matter. They just know they can't continue doing that because they now are so clear about the purpose that's on their own life. Okay, but it doesn't always look like quitting your job tomorrow. It can look like quitting your job in like a month. No, I'm just kidding. I it doesn't have to be that though, you know, like that that sounds very dramatic, and it can be, but also it can be very soul-nourishing because you just know that it's for you, right? Sometimes it can also look like you're not over-explaining yourself to people anymore in a conversation. Maybe it looks like you not saying yes when your body is very clearly saying no, it's like, oh, it's constricted and I don't want it, and my hands are tightening and my breath is getting more shallow, and oh, that doesn't feel comfortable, right? Maybe this looks like not abandoning yourself just so everyone else can feel comfortable and feel like in a way, like they can walk all over you, you know. Maybe this also looks like not performing the version of you that everyone is used to because that's what kept the peace, right? Maybe what this does look like is pausing before you respond, taking a breath before you actually say something, it's you not reacting, right? Maybe it's you letting things be awkward. A really big telltale sign, also that I've seen with my clients is they will have that awkward silence in a conversation be okay now. Whereas before they would feel like they needed to fill it. Have you ever experienced that before? You know, like you're in a conversation and all of a sudden something takes a there's just a really long pause in between. And it almost feels like this rush coming over you, and you're like, Oh, I gotta fill the space, I gotta, I gotta say something so it's not awkward, I gotta say something because then what are they thinking of me? Or are they thinking of leaving the conversation now because they think I'm boring or whatever, whatever the the scenario it is that's playing in your head, right? I have seen so many of my clients really be okay with the pause, be okay with the space in between because sometimes that's just what people need, right? It's very it's beautiful, it's very beautiful. You're letting yourself be seen differently, and that's a gift. That's a gift for someone who has been seen the same for so long, and that's why people expect certain things of you, and people expect you to behave a certain way and answer a certain way, and you do things for them a certain way, right? But now you're changing all of that, your boundaries are becoming super clear, right? So that is where the real work is, it's in the day-to-day happenings in your life, okay. This is you choosing. This is you choosing, like, no, this is the version of me that I want to be now, and this is what you're gonna get, and that's a really beautiful thing. So, something that I want to talk about here. Yesterday, quite literally yesterday, I had my first ever reading with a reflector in human design. And I'm like freaking out over this for those of you that don't know. Um, okay, human design, let me start here, is essentially a blueprint for your life and how you energetically are designed to move through your own specific life. It takes things from like the I Ching, it takes things from astrology, Myers Briggs. There's so many different components to human design, and it's really beautiful. And I also want to preface this by saying that yes, I think human design has answers for so many things, but also we're human and we have free will and we decide what we want things to look like. But if you really wanted to get down to the intricacies of your life, I believe human design holds a lot of it. Well, my human design says this, so I have to do this and I can't do this. Again, free will, right? Like, I can move about my day, I can move about my weeks, etc. And then I can look at human design and be like, oh, well, that's why that happened, right? I it's not something that I'm super particular about, it's something that I come back to and I'm like, oh, well, that's why that didn't work, right? I still let my life lead. Um, but what I have been finding is that if I if I were to live my life really based on what my human design says, it's it's like it starts making sense layer by layer. I hope, I hope how I'm saying that is coming across and making sense to you. But really, what human design helps you do is it helps you make decisions, it helps you realize how your energy works, help, helps you realize your purpose here. And your purpose is so many different things, you guys. It's so many different things. Um, it also helps you realize your conditioning and what is not actually yours to carry. Okay. So yesterday I had my very first reading with a reflector, and in human design, we have five, technically four, but five uh different types, and reflectors hold about one percent, a little bit less than one percent of the entire population. Okay, which is fascinating to me, and so I needed more information on reflectors. Also, um, what's the word? Also, fun fact uh Gino, my partner, he is a reflector, and so there are certain ways that he carries himself, there are certain ways that he flows about in the world, and it's interesting because I don't really have anyone to compare it to because he's the only reflector that I know, and so that's why I put out this ask, and I was like, hey, I'm looking for reflectors, I need information, I want to take notes, I wanna, I I just want to like meet you and be with you essentially, right? And so there were a lot of similarities in there, which was really interesting. So, anyways, I'm saying all of this because when you start choosing your life and how you want to be, the how you want to become, how you want to really live feeling purposeful in your life, right? Human design truly does help. It really does, it gives you a direction, it gives you a guide, it gives you um ways to access ease in your life, okay, if you were really to follow it and really to embrace it, and so what human design does, it's kind of taking away all the guesswork for you, and so when you start thinking about like, oh, why does this feel so hard for me, or why is this working out for them, but it's not working out for me? Why do I keep second guessing myself? Why am I where where are all these things coming from that I'm feeling, right? Your human design tells you this, and so what I'm finding yesterday when I had this human design reading with this individual, he was very much in a phase of like, how can I essentially be my best self so that that carries over through my other relationships, meaning my work, my friends, my community, how I serve the world, my actual purpose in this life, you know? And every single time, every single time, the the people that I attract are ambitious people, are driven people and purpose-driven at that. They want to help the masses, they want to help the collective, and I love that. That's so beautiful. But what people tend to miss is that they forget that they have to care for themselves first, and that's my specialty. I help you take care of yourself first and nourish your soul first so that you can go and take care of the other people in the world. I just do. I force you to slow down and I say that like jokingly, but really, each and every single one of my clients will tell you I have told them that they need to pause. This is also why I have something called the sacred pause retreat. This is why, like, the foundation of what I teach people when they first come to me is like, okay, what does your schedule look like when it comes to taking care of yourself first? You need that in order to move about. You cannot take care of the world if you don't know how to take care of yourself. I also say this all the time: it is selfless to be selfish for a season. You gotta know what it's like to be selfish for yourself for a little bit, so that you know what you need, so you can take care of yourself, so that when you're taking care of all these other people and you get a little lost in the sauce, okay, you gotta know how to come back to home base. And so a lot of you right now are really trying to live differently, but you're still following strategies that were quite literally never designed for you because it's not in your design, it's not in your human design, right? A lot of you are trying to get from point A to point B, who you were to who you're becoming, but you don't know how to do that in between. Human design does that for you. Human design guides that for you, I should say. So, of course, when you're following other people's strategies, it tends to feel off. Of course, it doesn't stick, of course, you don't trust it because it's not within you. What I do with clients is truly get you to the root of who you are and start discovering yourself, which is why I have something called discovering you, and which is why this whole series of the honest middle exists is because I want all of you to really know and understand that there are tools out there that are made to help you, okay, and I want to bring you to those. I I would be honored to tell you about them and teach you about them and help you really make them your own in your own life, okay. So, for example, if you are a generator, your power is in your response and not forcing what your body is not lit up for. This is all gonna make sense once you realize what your type is, which I will have a link for you in the show notes. If you're a manifesting generator, which is uh another generator type, your power is in responding and then moving, not necessarily skipping steps and wondering why it's not working, right? You initiate and you initiate quickly as a manifesting generator. It's not necessarily how fast it takes you. Uh for those of you watching a video, I'm kind of like spreading my spreading my hands apart. It's not how fast you get there, meaning like if you're thinking about a stair step or a staircase, you're skipping steps, right? But it's also how fast you get to that staircase, how fast you act on your initiation. That's important, okay. If you're a projector, your power is truly in being recognized, recognized for your genius, not proving your worth through burning yourself out for other people. Okay, if you're a manifester, your power is in initiating, you do not need permission to move. Okay, and if you're a reflector, your power is in your environment and in your timing. Slow down. You're not meant to rush. Okay, and when you don't know these simple things, when you don't have a coach, a mentor, uh even a therapist, or just if you don't have someone in your life that is teaching you these things, A, hi, hire me. B you will constantly feel like you're failing. And please catch what I said. You will constantly feel like you're failing. It's not that you are failing, but you're gonna feel like that because you're gonna keep second guess. You're probably moving in the most correct way because you naturally flow that way based on your human design, but you won't know, and your brain, your mind is going to trick you into thinking, well, there's something better out there. But what if there's not? What if you're moving exactly how you're meant to? You just need the verbiage or you just need the tool that's teaching you, that's showing you, like, okay, I am moving in the right way, right? And so that's that's what human design does. And you end up a you end up building a life that looks right and feels aligned when you're working with this tool. If you're not working with this tool, you end up building a life that looks right, but feels completely misaligned. And you don't even know if it is. What what if it is? What if it isn't, right? You have no idea. But when you do know, it's that reassurance of like, oh, okay, nothing is wrong with me. I'm not crazy, I'm not broken, like I can I can keep moving along, right? So if you don't know your human design yet, here's my note to self. Pause this episode or grab it afterwards. I will leave a link in the show notes down below. All you need is your birth date. You do need your birth time. If you don't know exactly, be approximate, but the closer that you can get the better. And you do need the location of your birth as well. And you'll be able to see your type, your your energy, how it flows. There is so much that's given to you in that free resource. And if you have any questions, feel free to email me, Anna at lightoasis.co, and just let me know what questions you have. Send me screenshots, say this is what I have a question about. I want to help you. I want to help you understand yourself a lot better and rediscover all of these parts of you, right? Some that may feel aligned, some that may not feel aligned, and you're like, Well, what does this mean? How do I approach this, right? I really want you to see yourself clearly because a world that is Filled with people seeing themselves clearly is a world that raises children who see themselves clearly too, and that's just how the world goes around. Okay, this is how we create safety in our communities, is what I truly feel. So once you have that awareness, you start bringing it to life, and this is where your identity, hello, the part where we're talking about the honest middle, right? Who you were, who you're becoming, identity is in the middle. You get to rewrite this identity because of the awareness that you have via human design, via all these other tools that I could potentially be teaching you, should you choose to say yes, right? What you're seeing is okay, now I'm actually living this out. It's not like I'm just thinking about all of this. It's not just me journaling or not me in a meditation or visualizing some version of myself down the line. Nothing wrong with those modalities at all. I teach them, I love them, I really lean on them, right? However, your life is not going to change unless you are in the physical action of changing it. Nothing will change if you are not in the action of making it happen. And I think that kind of accountability is really important. And I also think that that kind of accountability is what's lacking in some of the coaching world, if I'm being completely honest, right? Anyways, that's a whole other topic. I this is just a really beautiful way of you realizing that you are not overriding your body in the moment. Let's say, for example, you are, right? The the person that you were, the person that you're becoming, this in the middle kind of process, the honest middle that we're talking about. Let's say, what's a good example here? Let's say you want to start uh really keeping some firm boundaries with people in your life. Okay, that was a conversation that I had yesterday in the human design reading that was very potent. And so having boundaries with yourself and with other people that can feel really hard, especially for all my recovering people pleasers out there. Okay, raise your hand. I'll raise both, like seriously. When you are establishing boundaries, it can be something that could be drawing for yourself and for other people that are used to getting certain things out of you, right? There is one thing to say about like, okay, here are my boundaries and here's what's listed versus here are my boundaries and here's the conversation that I'm having with each of these individuals, right? And then there's another thing to say about actually going and having that conversation and mid-conversation and how you feel while you're in that conversation. There's so many layers to this, but truly, you're not gonna see any change in your life again if you're just listing these things down versus you are in the action of it. Okay, and what I want to get you to is the level of comfortability, the safety that you feel within your body and your nervous system to hold the conversation and be in the action of it. Okay, that's really, really important because a lot of people they intend, they can intend all day, but that intention is truly not what is changing your life in real time, the action is what's doing that, okay? So you have to be rewriting your identity and flowing with that quite often, and sometimes that can feel like a lot, but when you have the tools of human design, when you have the tools of coming back to breath, when you have the tools of really being in alignment with your nervous system and your values and your dreams and what you're wanting, and in the action of it, you are now in embodiment. You are now in embodiment, and that makes me so excited. I'm like, I'm like moving in my chair. It's so exciting when you start actually being about what you talk about in your life. It's beautiful, it truly is. And the level of comfortability that you feel within yourself, it's gonna be super uncomfortable at first, don't get me wrong. But when you are in the practice of it and then it starts flowing, and then other people start respecting you because of it, and your conversations flow a lot better. It just uh there's nothing better, there's nothing better, and that is what I want to help you with. I want to help equip you with all of that, okay? I want to help you choose differently, I want to help you be in the embodiment of choosing differently, and that's what Discovering You Live does. So this is why I created it. Discovering You Live, we go deep into boundary work, we go deep into value work, we go deep, we have a whole module, a whole module on human design. So, this is all about just not just understanding yourself on a surface level, but actually learning how you're designed, how to make decisions that you trust that you want to be making, not based on what other people want from you, but just what you want, right? How to regulate your emotions when your real life is happening, how to create change in a way that really sticks, how to integrate this into your relationships, your work, your everyday life, your everyday conversations that you're having with people. This is the shit that matters. This is why I do what I do because this is what people are in the middle of all of the time. You are always gonna be changing, you are always gonna be evolving, you are always going to be some different version of yourself as long as you are alive. Because as we should, as we should, I really want you to start understanding yourself so deeply that your your life starts reflecting this so naturally. So if you are in this space right now where you can feel this shift, but you're like, okay, but how do I actually live this? This is your next step. Not more information, not more overthinking, not listing the things that you want to change in your journal and not actually going to change them. Integration. This is what we call integration. Okay, real life, real choices on a daily basis, and real embodiment, real time being about it. There's nothing better. So if you're not already on the wait list for Discovering You Live, please get on it. We're gonna run this very, very soon. This is where we take everything that you're feeling right now and we really start anchoring it into your life. Okay, so I hope to see you on there. I love you, I'm proud of you, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.