The Honest Middle Series | Ep. 7 The “What Am I Doing With My Life?” Phase Explained

You’re Not Lost — You’re in the Part No One Talks About

If you’ve been feeling stuck, behind, or like you should have things figured out by now… this episode is going to hit.

Because what if nothing is actually wrong?

In Episode 7 of The Honest Middle series, Ana breaks down the truth about the in-between phase—the space where your old life no longer fits, but your next chapter hasn’t fully arrived yet.

This is the part most people try to rush, fix, or escape. But what if this phase isn’t a problem… and the only thing making it harder is the pressure you’re putting on yourself to figure it out?

This episode will help you understand what’s really happening in your mind, your body, and your identity—and how to move through it with more trust, clarity, and ease.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

•  Why feeling “lost” is often a sign you’re evolving 
•  What’s actually happening in the in-between phase 
•  How urgency is keeping you stuck 
•  Forcing clarity vs. allowing it 
•  Why trust is the missing piece 
•  The 3 ways the universe responds 
•  Navigating identity shifts and grief 
•  Why your purpose isn’t just one thing 

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – What the Honest Middle really is
02:30 – The pressure to figure it out
05:00 – This isn’t a problem—it’s a transition
08:00 – Why this phase feels disorienting
11:00 – The “I’m behind” narrative
14:00 – Trust as the missing piece
17:00 – Fear vs. love
20:00 – The universe’s 3 responses
23:00 – Nothing is being withheld
25:30 – Releasing urgency
27:30 – Identity shifts + grief
29:00 – You’re not behind

Keywords:
identity shift, feeling lost in life, personal growth, self trust, spiritual awakening, life transitions, finding clarity, purpose discovery, human design, emotional healing, identity crisis

At some point, you have to stop asking “What am I doing with my life?” and actually do something about it.

If you’ve been stuck in the loop—thinking, journaling, talking—and still waking up in the same place, this is your move.

This session cuts through the noise, gets honest about what you want, and locks in your next step. You’ll leave with clarity, direction, and a plan you can actually move on.

You don’t need more information. You need to see clearly and move.

👉 Book your “What Am I Doing With My Life?” Session here: https://www.lightoasis.co/what-am-i-doing-with-my-life-session 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello, my friend, and welcome back to the shit that matters pod. I am really excited to be here with you today because we are officially down to the second to last episode of the Honest Middle series right now. This series has been so fun for me in way of like really being able to give language to people about what the honest middle is. This whole time from episode one, we are now on episode seven officially today. And the next episode will be episode eight, which will conclude this series. If you've been listening along this whole time, this is the whole honest middle is talking about what just doesn't make sense in that in-between part of who you were before and who you are becoming now, right? And so this is where you're really seeing like your old life just does not fit anymore, but your new life isn't really quite here yet. And so naturally we're coming to this feeling of like, I need to figure this out right now, I need to fix this, there's something wrong with me, I need clarity, I need to make a decision, and we're really trying to rush this process. And really, what's happening is we're trying to rush our nervous systems out of this process, right? Because we're really uncomfortable with staying still. And so, what I want to do today is really ground you. And today's episode is talking all about how the in-between is not a problem that you need to fix. It is just something that you need to be with. Okay, so that's what we're gonna talk about today. And I'm really, really excited to bring you this kind of language, and it's really beautiful because this is all about conversations that I've been having recently with my clients, past clients, um, new people that have come into my field, new people that have come into my world, human design readings that I'm doing. There's a lot of people that are this that are in this in-between phase that are shedding an identity, grieving an identity identity, really thinking that they were gonna be somewhere totally different than where they're actually at. Um, and some of them having the tools and knowing and the the spiritual connection of like, but I know this is for me. So it's not that I'm like freaking out because I don't know really where I'm going, because I know I'm always held. When when you become a very spiritual, or not a very even spiritual person, but when you become a spiritual person, period, there's just this trust, right? And we're gonna talk about that today because a lot of you, the only missing ingredient that you have is trust. So these people, you know, some of them that I'm talking to do have that spiritual component where they know, like, this is my path, and I know I chose this and I know this is meant for me, but man, this still just it sucks. It sucks to grieve, you know. It um it sucks to feel this way when you're grieving, I should say. Not sucks to grieve. I think there's something really beautiful in grief. We really take into consideration what meant a lot to us, you know, and the gift in that is that we are still here in order to feel that. So, anyways, just a whole little side note. But again, what I want to talk to you guys about is trust today. And what I really want to talk to you about is slowing down this whole process, right? And again, I know that can be really uncomfortable for some people because this in-between phase is very disorienting, like we've been talking about. It's um you don't recognize yourself anymore. And instead of making that wrong, it's more so time for us to get curious about that, right? So you've outgrown things, you have outgrown habits, ways of being. Um, you've you've just changed, but you're not fully stepped into this new and improved version of you, this like level 2.0 version of you, 3.0, 4.0, 5.0, however many times you have now changed the way that you move about life, right? So your brain is trying to make sense of it. And it's you're hearing things like I'm lost, I'm behind, oh, you should have been further along by now, you know, you're doing something wrong, et cetera, et cetera. Whatever those little voices that we hear, right? But that's really not what this is. This, what what I want you to recognize is that this is not a problem, right? So this is not you messing up, this is not you being off track, this is not something to fix. It's truly a transition. And transitions by nature, literal nature, like if we're thinking about this in seasons, right? No clarity is fully here. Let's say for now, for example, at the time that I'm recording this, we are we're moving from winter into spring. We just got into spring officially, just a few days ago. And the weather right now, I know it seems so silly to be talking about this, but it's true. We are seasonal beings. Right now, the weather that we have had here, I am in the Bay Area in California. This last week has been 80 degrees, about 80 degrees. Come Sunday, which is a few days from now, it's gonna be rainy again, and we're gonna be down into the 60s, and at night it's gonna be down into the 50s. We are in a season of transition, right? And so with transition, it takes time to calibrate. All you are needing to do is give yourself time to calibrate, but we make that wrong about ourselves. Why? Why do we do that? Why do you put so much pressure on yourself in order to get it right? That's a good question for you to ponder on, journal with, sit on, contemplate on whatever it is that you want to do, right? You're quite literally letting go of who you were at some point. And of course, that's gonna feel really unclear. Of course, that's gonna feel shaky. Of course, you're in the middle of your bloom changing, you know. You're some leaves are dying off, some are thriving, some are peeking out a little bit later, some have come a little bit too soon. You're like, oh man, I don't know what to do with this. You're just in the middle of becoming. Okay. So, like I said, what I really want to talk to you about is trust. I would really love for you to be with this if you can, if you're listening while you are moving or whatever you're doing, I invite you to at least come back to this section at a time where you're sitting still, maybe, and just really taking this in. So trust. Trust in yourself, trust in your body, trust in what you're feeling, trust in what's no longer working, even if you don't fully know what's next yet. None of that is really gonna feel settled unless you are trusting in something bigger than you. And I really want to say this because I know that there's gonna be a lot of people that that is a different meaning, right? For some people, it's God, for some people it's Jesus, for some people that's the same thing, for some people that's universe, for some people that's divine, for some people that's source. What I really want to root you in is that all of that is behind the energy of love. Simple as that. That's what I believe in. You will not shake me from that, okay? All everything that I just said, it's all under the energy of love, in my opinion. And I think that a lot of times we are so quick to default to fear that we don't know how to be in the frequency of love. We forget what it's like because we are conditioned um to believe that love is conditional. And this is getting into a much further conversation than we can have today. But what I'm gonna say here is that I just really invite you to look at the relationship between your mother and look at the relationship between your you and your father, and look into the pieces that you felt that you received conditional love. And then because of that, how are you now giving yourself unconditional love? Here's the thing is that trust within yourself will only come if you love yourself unconditionally, and knowing because you are a piece of something bigger, and that thing that is bigger loves you unconditionally. Therefore, that means that part of you must love yourself unconditionally. Again, this is a much bigger conversation, and this is truly what I support women in in my group program called Enough. It's really feeling and knowing and believing that you are enough within yourself to unconditionally love yourself, right? And know that you're enough to have the business and the love life and the everything that you want. You can have it all, but it must come from a feeling of worthiness and knowing that you're enough, right? So when you trust in this thing, energy, the energy of love, the frequency of love, right, that is bigger than you. You start trusting in the timing of your life. You start trusting in the unfolding of it all. You start to trust that not everything is meant to be seen all at once. You quite literally are only given what you know that you can take at that point in time. And when you start moving like that, my friend, oh my god, life becomes magical, life becomes beautiful, life becomes less of, oh, I think I'm failing, and more of wow, I feel myself thriving. Even if my bank account says otherwise, even if my relationship says otherwise, even if my friendship says say otherwise, right? Everything feels in support of you. Everything feels like unconditional love. Everything feels like trust. So, what I want to say here, and this is a conversation that I actually had this week with my clients in enough, the universe does not operate on your urgency. It operates in alignment and it operates on frequency, it operates in you being a match. Okay. And the universe only has three answers for you at any given point in time. The universe says one, yes. Here you go, with ease, with pleasure. It's the right time. Number two, it says yes, but not right now. Yes, this thing is for you. This opportunity is for you. This loving yourself is for you. This and like you knowing it and seeing it and knowing how that comes about is for you, but not right now. There's still something that you need to learn. There's still this limiting belief that you probably need to overcome. There's still this lesson that's needing to be had here and for you to fully understand, right? Or number three, no, because something is better for you, something out there is better for you, a opportunity, uh, a job, a home, a love life, a friend, uh, any kind of opportunity, right? So that's how the universe speaks to you in one of those three ways at any given point in time. And if you really let that land, if you really let that hit you, you start to realize that nothing is actually ever being withheld from you. Nothing is late, nothing is missing, and some things are just still unfolding. All that requires is you to trust. That's it. And so, how would you move about differently if you knew that? How would you move about differently if you let that really sink into your heart, sink into your soul? How would you how would you allow life to happen to you? How could you look at this kind of as a game on like, oh, okay, what's next? You know, like that's when life starts to get really fun. It gets so fun. So, what I want you to do is start removing urgency. Remove urgency from your life. Really, what this is, it's a nervous system resetting kind of practice. Um, again, what I talked to the women in Enough this week, and I talked about the art of noticing and really healing urgency on a cellular level, right? And knowing that this comes from the mother and comes from the father and having some of those wounds and what that can look like. But what I'm gonna leave you with is just remove urgency. And what makes this so much harder than it needs to be, because I I have a feeling I know you because you are a version of me. Um, you will make things hard for yourself, right? The only thing that will make this hard is the pressure to rush it. How can I let go of this? How can I let go of the urgency? You wanting to have the answers to removing urgency is already you being in an urgent state. Isn't that such a mind fuck? Like, truly, truly, girl, like chill. Everything is good, everything is fine, right? Your clarity is not gonna come from forcing. It's really gonna come from you allowing. And when you think about force or allow, forcing is based out of fear, allowing is based out of love, right? Those are the only two frequencies that we really operate out of. So be present with what's here without needing it to be something else, without needing it to be something else. Like, is that possible? Can we do that? Can we just allow the fact that this in-between state is nothing for you to fix? It's not a problem that needs to be fixed, it just needs to be. Okay, something else that I want to talk about here really quickly um is human design. I have had so many conversations this week on human design, and it has been so beautiful, it's been potent, it's reminded me of how much I love this tool, not something to like um rely on necessarily. I think that's really important when we're looking at any kind of tool. It's not like this is default, or like, for example, I'm a generator in human design. Well, because I'm a generator, then this, this, this. No, it's it's more so looking at this as an opportunity and being open, right? It's well, because I'm a generator, maybe this and this and this, our curiosity gets to really peak out here, right? So, anyways, I don't know why I said that, but felt important. I've been having conversations, um, doing readings with human design for people with human design, and just the conversations that I'm having right now are so interesting. I want to tell you about a conversation that I had with my best friend actually yesterday. I was talking, well, she was explaining to me how she was having a conversation with her husband and how she's just really mourning this version of her that she thought she was gonna be, right? She thought she was gonna be a vet. And I'm not gonna fill in like all the intricacies and everything, but it was just so interesting because again, she was talking about this version of her that she thought she was gonna be, this identity that she thought that she was gonna have, right? And it was just fascinating to me because this is a recurring conversation that I'm having with people. I think a lot of people back in 2020, um, a lot of people went through a spiritual awakening, and a lot of people, their awareness turned on, right? That awareness of I can't really keep living this way. That's all the way back to episode one of this whole series, right? I think that that's where a lot of people have been coming into now, right? It's like, well, I don't really, I don't really know who I am. I don't really know what I want to do, but I know I can't keep living this way. I know I want to do something different, I know, et cetera, et cetera. You fill in the blank here, right? And so what she was talking about was she had this identity grief because she wanted to be a vet, but she knows the key here, the difference here is that she has done so much work on herself and with herself to have a connection with divine, have a connection that allows her to trust herself deeper, which is why I wanted to have this conversation with you today. But it still doesn't take away from the fact that, man, though, like this this sucks, you know? Like I I have this grief, and I I am mourning this version of myself that I thought I was gonna be. And really, what it came down to that I I was kind of talking to her about is that we as humans really, really want to have titles, we want to have identities, we want to have labels because it helps us make sense of something, it helps us exist in the world, right? But for me, as someone who very heavily teaches dharma and very heavily teaches basically purpose, right? What I had to remind her of and what she knew, what she knew, but what I said to her was your purpose is not just one thing, your purpose is expressed in many different ways. And I want you to think of this kind of like an umbrella, or if you're looking at an organization, um you kind of have like all of these legs of the department, right? But the main thing that we're talking about here is the main thing of who you are, and who you are is a healer, a helper, a lover of animals, and like wanting to better your community, right? That has not changed. The only thing that has changed is the avenue, or maybe it's a different leg off of the department, right? And so I want you to think about it this way for your own life as well. But just because we're using her as an example, she wanted to be a vet, she wanted to heal animals. She's still getting to do that. She started her own nonprofit organization. Organization in order to help the animals out in the Philippines, and she's already thinking about helping so many other animals in different areas in different ways, and her mind is opening up to so many different opportunities and meeting the right people along the way. Who knows if at some point she's still gonna become a vet, too, right? Who knows? But it's just this whole idea that there is so much purpose in how you live and in what you do, and part of your purpose you're gonna be paid for, part of your purpose you're not gonna be paid for because it's just who you be. And so I think that that's really important to kind of tie in here. Um, and also when we look at things like human design, there are parts of your design that are literally meant to take time. For example, with my best friend, she is a generator, but she's an emotional generator, meaning she has to kind of feel out her wave before making decisions. And so she was kind of feeling this wave of, oh man, like I'm kind of I'm kind of feeling like I fucked up in a way almost like, or I'm feeling this way of I am mourning this part of myself and like, did I make the right decision and all of that? And the answer is yes, because at some point, without her realizing it, this is like pre-us even knowing about human design, she felt the emotional wave on her continuing schooling. She became a vet tech. Did she want to do it? She wrestled for so long on whether she wanted to stay in that profession or not. You know, had she not gone through that wave and trusted herself in it, she wouldn't have landed here where she is today. And so, what I want to tell you, as the listener, is your human design tells you so many ways that you are meant to make decisions, operate in, be in relationship with yourself and with other people in, be in relationship with life. There's so much there that you can lean on that you can learn about. And I just think that it's worth noting in here. And if you're ever needing support with human design in any capacity, I have free resources, I have paid resources, whatever it is that you need, please feel free to reach out. But it's worth looking into, and it's worth trusting yourself enough to know, like, hmm, okay, this is a tool, this is something that I want in my tool belt to kind of know about and really just educate myself with, you know, I think, I think it's worth looking into. So, anyways, with that being said, this is exactly my friends, this is exactly what we talk about and what is inside of Discovering You Live. Discovering You Live is a four-week program that I have, and we have a whole module on human design, we have a whole module on emotions, we have a whole module on your values and your dreams and just so many beautiful things that help you trust you, help you trust in the timing of your life and how you're meant to move and flow and plan, right? It's it's really beautiful. I'm also, side note, you're the first people that are hearing about this. I'm also coming out with an exclusive offer for a limited time. We'll see how it goes first. Um, where we're gonna dive into this a lot and it's gonna be more one-on-one work where we get into the intricacies of you and what your next big decision is and who it is that you're becoming. And it's really beautiful. So keep an eye out for that. Um, I will be sure to let you know if you're not on my email list already, please be sure to do so because you will hear about it there more than likely first before I even put it out on social or um even talk about the actual offer itself. So, in Discovering You Live, this is gonna be the most accessible place where you learn all of this. But if you're wanting again more intricate, more precise, more based on you and how you move, that's gonna be the other offer that's coming out. Discovering you live is a group program, and we really take things week by week. And there is homework and there is a lot of learning about yourself and learning about other women who are going through the same thing as you are, right? You're all in this really beautiful middle part of your becoming, and it's an incredible thing. And we support you fully in here and help you understand what's happening and how to navigate all of this in your mind, your body, your soul, your emotions, your energy. All of it matters. You are a whole freaking human being, all of that is connected, and I make sure to really help you understand and see what that looks like for you within Discovering You Live. So that wait list is open. Please make sure you sign up. We are going to be opening this up very, very soon, and I'm so excited. Um, but it's just time, friend. It's time for you to trust yourself, it's time for you to move differently, it's time for you to have the tools in order to make decisions in your life so that when you get to that point of your becoming, you're like, I know exactly how to move. I know exactly what to do. I know exactly how to trust myself. I see the signs, I recognize the intuition in my body. I know that this is my moment to say yes, or this is my moment to say no, right? So it's really time for you to start trusting yourself and stop escaping your life and really start living it. It's a beautiful thing when you start recognizing that you are in co-creation with divine, with the frequency of love and really moving differently because of that. Okay. So if you've been in this space where you're feeling like you need to figure everything out, you're feeling like you should be further along, feeling like maybe something isn't clicking fast enough for you. I really want you first and foremost to slow down, take a breath, know that you are not behind, know that you're not doing this in any way, shape, or form wrong. Maybe you're just needing a little bit of support along the way. Okay. So I love you. I'm proud of you, and I will see you in the next episode for the final, final episode of the Honest Middle series. If this has been helpful for you, friend, please go ahead and share it with someone that you love. Please go ahead and share it with someone who is in their own messy middle and is feeling maybe a little bit disoriented. Send this to them and let them know that they're not alone. And if this has been you in the past, please tell me what this has been like for you. The more verbiage, the more communication, the more clarity that I can get around this from you, the more that I'll be able to support a lot more people along the way. And that is just what makes the world go round. All right. I love you. I will see you in the next episode. And until then, this is the shit that matters pod, where we talk about literally the shit that matters. I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.