The Honest Middle Series | Ep. 8 How to Stop Overthinking and Find Your Next Step

This episode closes out The Honest Middle series with a truth you might need to hear: you don’t need more time to figure your life out, you need direction.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, questioning everything, and caught in a loop of overthinking, nothing is wrong with you. You’re in a season of growth where you’re outgrowing who you’ve been, but you haven’t fully stepped into who you’re becoming yet.

Ana breaks down why so many people stay stuck here longer than they need to. It’s not because they’re incapable, it’s because they keep trying to think their way forward instead of choosing a direction and taking action.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to get specific about what feels off, recognize what you’ve already outgrown, tell the truth about what you actually want, and choose your next step without needing the full plan.

Because you don’t need to see your entire future to move forward. You just need to decide what’s next.

If you’re ready to stop looping and start moving, I also share how you can go deeper with me inside my “What Am I Doing With My Life?” session, where I help you get clear, build self-trust, and take aligned action Book Here ➝ https://www.lightoasis.co/what-am-i-doing-with-my-life-session 

At the end of the day, you’re not stuck because you’re behind, you’re stuck because you haven’t chosen yet.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome back to the shit that matters pod. I am your host, Anna Maria Velazquez, and today I'm so excited. We have reached the end of the Honest Middle series today. And it has been an eight-episode long series. If you have not caught the other episodes yet, please make sure you go back and listen to those. It has been an incredible series. Um, where if you have been tuning in and listening to the last few episodes, you already know that what we talked about is this season of life that you're in is not something that is wrong, right? When we talk about the honest middle, the honest middle is the part in between whatever you want to call it, a spiritual awakening, a decision point in your life, a quarter, midlife crisis, whatever you want to call it. There is just this point in time when there is an extended amount of time where you are in the thick of it, you are in the messy middle. And it's time that we get honest about that and talk about what it actually looks like, what it feels like. Because a lot of things that people really get wrong about having a spiritual awakening or any kind of awakening in general is they only think about what good came out of it, you know, and that's great, but we also have to get really, really honest about what it looks like in the middle because it's messy, it's ugly, it brings up a lot of fear, it brings up a lot of anger, it brings up so many different emotions. And this whole podcast series has just been talking about that and talking about us getting real about what this really can look like for people. But also, I hope that you are leaving this whole series feeling much more grounded and much more supported in way of like you're not crazy, you're not crazy for thinking the things that you do or doing the things that you do or saying the things that you do. You're actually just right on time with the way that you have been feeling and what is going on in your life, right? And so, again, this whole season of your life is not about something being wrong with you, it's just about something shifting within you and getting really honest about that, getting getting real about it, you know? It's about you outgrowing the version of you that you once were, but not fully knowing who it is that you're becoming and that's okay. That's okay, right? What I want to come to really quickly is in the last episode, we talked about how the in between is not a problem to fix. And today, what I really want to talk about is taking that one step further and really talking about the fact that at some point it stops being about needing more time and it starts being about just needing direction and needing someone to help you point your compass in whatever direction it is that you honestly genuinely want to take, that version of yourself at the end, right? We're letting go of the version of us that we once were, and we know we know that we are wanting to evolve and to become this other version of ourselves. Now we just need a direction to take in order to get there. What's one next step? What's one honest step forward, right? So that's really what I want to talk to you guys about today. What I want to give you really quick is a real life example of this. So you wake up and your life is fine, right? Nothing is necessarily wrong, but something just feels off and you go to work or you drop the kids off or you open up your laptop, you start your day. And there's this underlying feeling of, dude, like, is this really it? Is this really what I'm living for? Is this just the mundane that I am meant for? And there's nothing wrong with that. But if you are a person who believes in purpose and you are a person who believes that we are here to evolve and we are here to co-create with divine and be the fullest best expression of ourselves, and that means that we challenge ourselves. You start questioning things that you used to feel so sure about. The path that you chose, the relationships that you're in, you know, romantic and non-romantic, just the friendships that you have, the family that you have, the parents that you grew up with, the siblings that you grew up with, maybe if you have them, the grandparents, like you start questioning all of that, right? You also start questioning the way that you've been showing up. And then your brain kind of turns on, right? It comes online and it's like, fuck, okay, like we need to figure this out. What's the next move? What's next? What like what do I need to be doing? And maybe you journal or you reach out to a friend or you think about this and you spiral a million different scenarios in the shower, as I do. And for a moment, it really starts feeling like you're getting somewhere. You know, like, oh, okay, yeah, this sounds good. My friend said this, okay, like maybe, maybe I'll try this, or my journal session said this, my time with God said this, you know. But then the next day, you're right back in the loop. You're right back in this whole thought process. You have the same questions, you feel the same things, and maybe that starts escalating to feeling shame, and you're just stuck in the same loop. And this is where most people tell themselves, okay, well, I just need more time. I just need more time with this, I need more time to think, I need more time to feel out these emotions. I need I need more time to just figure this whole thing out, but you don't need more time. What if all you needed was direction? What if all you needed was just the best next step? What if here's the thing too, friends? We we want to see so far ahead. We want to see so far ahead, and maybe it doesn't matter what it is, but I truly am a believer of knowing in my life, in my real life, if I knew too much ahead of time, then I would not have taken action. And so, you know, whether you believe in God and like you you hear and believe God won't give you more than you can handle, right? What I like to think of this as is like one time a mentor of mine told me this. And imagine you're in a car and you have the headlights on, you can only see so far ahead. That's all you need to worry about at this moment in time, right? Like if you were able to see 20 miles ahead and there's an accident there, and now all you're ruminating on is, oh, well, there's an accident. Oh my gosh, what what happens when I get to the accident, right? What happens when I get there? What happens if I get stuck in traffic? What happens when I, etc., etc., etc. That's just not something that you need to worry about at this moment in time. This moment in time. What if when you get there the traffic is already cleared out and the accident wasn't even that serious to begin with? But in your head, you put it out to be all of this that it never even was. You know what I mean? You don't have to actually know that far in advance. You just need to know the direction and the next best step. Sometimes the loop that time, needing more time, can keep you in is just in the same cycle, right? But maybe you're just getting more creative with it. Maybe you're getting more um or you're getting better language around it, or you are dissecting your feelings a little bit more, and you're you're just in this endless loop. Let me tell you something really quick because you know I love talking about human design here. There is a um specific gate that you have, and it's gate 44, and it's called pattern recognition, right? Well, it's not called that, but the the gist of that gate is pattern recognition. I have that gate, and it can really keep me in thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking in circles about a pattern that I recognize within myself with other people collectively, and that does a lot of good for me, especially when it comes to my clients, because I can kind of call something out and be like, hey, I'm noticing this, and then you know, we're able to really get to the root of that a lot quicker. It's great, but for myself, sometimes it could be detrimental. Sometimes it's beautiful because I'll recall something from like, I don't know, such a long time ago, like high school. And I'm like, oh, but then this and this and this, and if that didn't happen, then this wouldn't have happened, and if this happened, then like that's good because then this happened. It's just interesting, right? How I keep my mind occupied in that. And also, you can imagine that it could wear me out quite a bit, you know? And so sometimes I have to call upon the tools that I have created for myself, that I've gathered for myself, and say, okay, Anna, I have to talk and coach myself through this. Okay, Anna, you're right now in a loop that is no longer serving you. So how can we move into a direction that is going to serve us? Or how can we release this for now so that we're not putting ourselves in this time suck anymore? Because that's eventually what it becomes to be, right? So for you, where is it that you are putting yourself in this endless loop thinking, oh, time is going to heal this? But really, what you need and what you know that you need is just okay, I'm gonna take a little bit of time to really dial this in, aka maybe I'm gonna take the next five minutes, or maybe I'm gonna take the next 20 minutes, maybe I'm gonna take till the end of the day. And if I have not come to a conclusion, I am either A going to release this or I'm going to B, take action on this thing and just see where the next leg of this takes me. Right? I hope this is making sense for you. I think really what this calls upon to is having the tools in order to get yourself there, right? Which we will be talking about towards the end of this episode. So again, direction and taking action on that direction is what is going to interrupt your loop. And that's what I want for you. That's what we all need sometimes, right? Like you've been marinating on this for far too long. Let's start taking some action towards the thing that it is that you want, towards the version of you that it is that you are becoming. Okay. What this can look like, for example, is okay, I'm done journaling or I'm done visualizing, dreaming up, whatever, on this version of me that I want to be. Actually, today I'm gonna go ahead and take some action. So I see this version of myself who starts a podcast and has, you know, one of the most downloads on a podcast or whatever it is. I'm just giving an example. This is not my wish for myself. I just I wish to have a podcast that is helpful to other people, period. Anyways, so if you are dreaming up about having this kind of podcast, okay, what is the version of you that has this? Okay, based on that, what are the habits that you know that you need to have? And based on those habits, okay, what is one action item that you can take today in order to make that happen? Well, shit, Anna, I don't even have my equipment yet. Maybe let's go look for a mic on Amazon or let's go to Best Buy and look for a microphone. These little steps that you take towards becoming the version of you that you see that you know you want to make happen, that's what's gonna move for you. That's what's going to cause the greatest blessings in your life by you acting in agreement to the version of you that you see yourself becoming. What I also want to point out here is that you are again coming into a new awareness. So in the first episode, actually, of this whole series, we talked about awareness. And this is just your awareness turning on to I don't like this version of myself anymore. This doesn't fit me, it doesn't feel right. You know, this like costume, so to say, that I'm wearing is no longer fitting me. I would like a new change of clothes, I would like to change this version of myself that I'm becoming. So now that you are at the point in time when you're like, oh, I'm I'm actually gonna take action towards this, your awareness turns on again. And it's important for you to realize, okay, where is my awareness turning on around this? Am I feeling more like me or am I not feeling like me? So you're gonna come you're gonna come to a point of refinement in this process, and all I want you to know at this point in time is please give yourself permission to act upon it. Please give yourself permission to move through this awareness in way of taking action on this version of you that you're wanting to start creating. Instead of letting that awareness lead you as as if like you're trying to solve all of this at once, let it just lead you to your next best step. Okay, that's all I'm encouraging you to do. That's all I'm really asking you to do, is just let it lead you to your next best step. Because what's gonna happen again, this period of refinement, your awareness is gonna keep coming online. It's your gut or however you make decisions based on your human design, they're all gonna keep coming online and it's all gonna keep, it's all gonna keep tricking you into thinking you're disoriented, but really it's just you coming to the truth of what it is that you're wanting to create for yourself. Okay, I hope that this makes sense. All I want you to know is you're gonna keep getting the little nudges in your brain that are like, are you sure you want this? Are you sure that this is what you want? Are you sure that this is the version of you that you're trying to create? And all you need to answer at this point in time is yes, I'd like to try it out. Yes, I'd like to try it out. Yes, I'd like to try this costume on. Yes, I'd like to try this clothes on, right? Just say yes for a little bit and then you can refine later. I just want you to get used to trusting your nudges and trusting that you will be okay no matter what decisions you make. Okay. I hope that makes sense. This is not a point in time when like you need to know what everything is gonna look like next. We're not there right now. And actually, we will never really be there. But what I want again, what I want you to do is learn that taking this leap, acting on this new awareness is what's going to start building that momentum for you because what's keeping you stuck is you just not leaping, you not jumping forward, right? So just trust it, trust yourself and trust that you've done enough work on yourself up until this point in order to get yourself there. So, really quickly, let's go back to that version of you that's thinking, like, is this really it? You know, like is this all that's for me? Here's how you're gonna move through that in real time. Okay, so step number one is you're gonna get specific, specific about what feels off. What about your life feels off? Not your whole life, just that moment, right? Is it your work? Is it like you're you're doing all the things that you can do, but you don't feel connected to that work anymore. It just doesn't feel like you, you know? It doesn't feel like fulfilling, it doesn't feel like you're happy to get to work, it doesn't feel there's something, there's something that's disconnected there, right? It could also be how you're showing up. Maybe it's not the work itself, maybe it's the way that you are in relationship to it. Are you grateful for it? Do you know and understand the last time that you felt gratitude towards your work? Are you performing a version of you that has this type of work? What is it? I want you to get specific, okay? Number two, step two, I want you to call out what you've already outgrown. Because if you're honest, there's something in your life right now that you already know does not feel right, but you've been trying to make it work anyway, and that's where the tension is coming from. So, again, with this work, is it the version of you that you've outgrown? Is it the job itself that you've outgrown? Is it the tasks at hand that you've outgrown? What is it? Again, specificity is going to be your best friend here. Step number three, I want you to tell the truth about what it is you actually want. And this is where people freeze because they're like, well, shit, like, am I am I worthy enough to have it? Am I like, do I even know what I fully want? What what is it, you know? So what you want might not fully make sense yet. It might not feel safe, it might not match what you've even been building up until this point. But there's something there. Even if it's this little spark, right? Even if it's just this, I just don't want to feel like this anymore. That right there is truth, and that right there is enough to start with. Okay. Step number four You're gonna choose your next move, not your entire five-year plan, ten-year plan, whole life plan. Okay, just your next step. Maybe it's having a conversation that you've been avoiding with someone. Maybe it's your boss, maybe it's your partner, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's your parents, maybe I don't know, someone. Someone, right? Maybe it's exploring something new, maybe it's pulling back from something that's been absolutely draining you. All your direction needs to be anchored in is honesty and truth. That's it. That's all it needs, that's all it requires of you. Step number five stop trying to figure all of this out in your head for the love of God. Please, please stop trying to figure all of this out mentally. You will be drained, you will be so burnt out by the endless, endless loops that you will have no room for the version of you that you're becoming. Okay, because if you go back to that version of you that you know, you've been thinking about this for weeks, months, maybe even years, and nothing has changed, it's not because you're incapable, it's just because thinking your way through this is not what's going to move you forward. That's it, okay? And that's the shift, that's the moment that you go from like, I just need more time to I'm gonna choose a direction, and I'm really excited about it. And I'm so scared and I'm so nervous, but this is what I'm gonna do anyway. That right there, no one could ever take that away from you. No one could ever take that away from you. The moment that you decide, I'm gonna bet on myself. All of this is going to be enough to just get you out of the loop and get you into the habit of you starting to trust yourself again. You're not stuck because you're behind, you're stuck because you just haven't chosen yet.

unknown 20:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

There is something so powerful about a woman who has made a decision. Whether that's the decision to no longer abide by society's rules, that is the decision to no longer give a shit about what her family thinks of her and just starts living life for herself, no longer worrying about what her friends are gonna think about her, just starts living life for herself. There is something so powerful about a woman who makes a decision that this is her worth, this is your worth, and this is how I will be treated in my relationships with other people, in my relationship to life in general. Okay, this again, no one could take this away from you ever. The power of choice is something really beautiful, and it's something that I want you to start practicing. You have free will, you have choice in your life, and you can trust yourself enough in order to make the right decisions for yourself. And this is exactly where I support my clients. The amount of trust, of self-trust that I have seen my clients bring about in their worlds is insane. These are women who have come to me that have said, I don't feel enough in my life, I don't feel enough to have this business, to have this version of myself, to have this family, to have this amount of money, to have X. Fill in the blank, whatever, right? There is something so beautiful about you just taking the next step in the right direction and building that self-trust within yourself, and that's really what's happening here. That's the beauty of what's actually happening here. Again, this part of the honest middle that people don't want to talk about self-trust and building that, that's hard. But it's doable. And I am trying to help you get to that point where you can almost take a shortcut and be like, okay, I've listened to this series. I can trust myself now based on my human design, based on how I make decisions, based on what is going on currently in my life, based on what it is that I'm dreaming about that I actually want, based on me using my voice to go and actually say the thing, dude. Like you're there. You're there, you're there. And it's a really beautiful thing. So I just I don't want you to be that girl who's sitting there and overthinking and looping and questioning everything over and over and over again. You do not need more information, you just need to be seen clearly, and you need someone to help you look at all of those patterns and look at all of those loops that you're keeping yourself in, and you need someone to reflect back to you what's actually going on and helping you get to the truth of what it is that you actually want and what your next step is, so you can stop circling and start moving, right? So if you are in this space right now and you've felt yourself in that example that I gave, you don't have to stay here. And I want to help you. I want to help you because I can, because I have with so many other clients, right? So if you're waking up and feeling like something's off questioning things and like putting yourself again in these endless loops of thinking, you are just becoming more aware. And I want you to give yourself that permission to be there. And I also want to, what I actually want to do is share with you a way that I have recently gone through this myself and invite you into a way that we can work together through this. So, this whole series, this whole honest middle series, I have actually been calling in the fact that Discovering You Live, the wait list is open, right? And what I came to a conclusion to last episode and a little bit after the second to last episode, I realized that what I really want to do is work one-on-one with some of you in order to get really freaking clear about what your next direction is, what your next action step is. And so, although I have been calling in Discovery New live wait list being open and that program being ready to run, what I have come to realize in my own time that I have taken for myself, following my own compass, following what I really desire, following what has been truth for me in my own awareness, is actually I want to switch gears really quick, and I want to work with the woman who is fucking ready. I want to work with the woman who is ready to again. I keep saying this, but it's because I know that you're here. You are keeping yourself in such a draining loop of what do I do next? How do I know that that's the next best step for me? What is it that I really want to do? Well, what if they don't like that? What if my clients don't follow me because I'm, you know, kind of switching gears over here? What if my clients don't understand that I need some time off? What if what if, what if, what if you're just stuck in this land, right? I want to help you get out of it. And so I'm going to switch gears and I am going to actually let you know that I have one-on-one spots available and it's for an offer that I have called what am I doing with my life? It's called the what am I doing with my life session because I know that's a question that you're asking. I know that you are in a season where your identity is being questioned because maybe you've been a teacher, or maybe you've been um a counselor, maybe you've been in some kind of other realm of work, and you are number one, questioning the direction of your life period, and number two, you're also questioning, okay, well, how does that also affect the kind of work that I want to be doing, the purpose work that I want to be doing in my life, right? And what I want to invite you to is just take a look at the what am I doing with my life session. I'm gonna leave that link for you in the show notes. This is for you if you really want to stop this endless loop and start actually taking a step towards the direction of truth, towards the direction of the you that you are becoming. Some of the most incredible work that has been done, not just like from myself with someone else as my mentor, but even just with my own clients, one-on-one work is so freaking powerful. And what this is gonna look like, it's gonna be a sum of three sessions together, and we get deep into your human design. Number one, number two, we do an energy healing together because again, more awareness, more clarity for me has shown the woman that I really want to work with is the one who knows that she is in co-creation with divine, in co-creation with God, in co-creation with universe source, whatever you feel comfortable calling it, right? The frequency of love is really what it is. I have come to that awareness, and that is the kind of woman that I'm calling in. And session number three is going to be us tying a bow on all of that and saying, Okay, based on the information that we got from your human design session, from your energy healing session, and the work that we've done together in the last X amount of time, this is the best step to move forward in. This is the decision that you have come to because I want to equip you to make your own decisions. This is not my decision for you. Based on that is the direction that you're gonna be heading into, and there is something so beautiful again about a decision being made. And that's what you're gonna walk away with. A decision will have been made, and based on that decision, your life is going to look exponentially different in in the best way, in the best way, and I want to help facilitate that space for you. So if that's you, go ahead and take a look at the show notes for the what am I doing with my life session, and I can't wait. I can't wait to meet you, to be with you, to help you, to hold you and watch you trust yourself again. It is one of the juiciest things that I could do in my own purpose work is to activate you into your own purpose work. It's the best. So go ahead and take a look at that. So you are not lost, you're just becoming more and more aware, and you do not need more time to figure your life out. Again, you just need a direction, and I would love more than anything to help you out with that. I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. And even if you do not book a session with me, if you could please, if this series has been in any way helpful for you, please share it with a friend because I know based on what I'm seeing with my own friends, with my own people that I have had as mentors, I am just seeing such a shift in people. I'm seeing such a shift collectively, and I know that people are moving from a point A to a point B. If that is you, just know I am here to support in any way that I can. And if that is not you, I guarantee that you know someone. I guarantee that you know someone that is going through that exact thing right now. And again, I would just love to help support in any way that I can. So again, I love you. Thank you for tuning into this series. I really hope that it was helpful for you, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.