Stop Being A Victim of ‘Time’

If you’ve been stuck in the thought loop of “I wasted so much time”… this episode is going to shift something.

In this conversation, Anamaria Velasquez breaks down how we unconsciously make ourselves victims of time by attaching meaning to our past.

From her own experience in network marketing and family business, Ana shares how she built an identity around being “the woman who wasted years”… and how that kept her stuck until she chose to see it differently. 

This episode will help you release regret, reclaim your power, and see your past as something that shaped you… not something that took from you.

What You’ll Learn

•  Why you’re not actually a victim of time 
•  How “lost time” becomes an identity that keeps you stuck 
•  The shift from “What did this take from me?” to “What did this build within me?”
•  The 4 Levels of Consciousness: 
  •  Life happens to me (victim) 
  •  Life happens by me (control) 
  •  Life happens through me (flow) 
  •  Life happens as me (alignment) 
•  How to move out of victim consciousness and into self-trust

If this episode resonated, don’t just sit with it… integrate it.

Inside the Light Library, you’ll find the Levels of Consciousness Workbook and other tools to help you move from feeling stuck to seeing clearly and taking aligned action.

👉https://www.lightoasis.co/light-library 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello my beautiful friend. Welcome back to the Shit That Matters podcast. I'm your host, Anna Maria Velasquez, founder of Light Oasis Co., where we do the deep work of whole human healing and actually start becoming who you say it is you want to be. This episode is a continuation of the last one. After we had that conversation about, you know, being the good girl and how certain things have costed you in that role. We talked all about connection. We talked about self-trust. We talked about time. And I realized, like, towards the end of that episode, like, I really need to talk about this because we can absolutely villainize time and start becoming the victim of it when we think things like, oh, I'm never gonna get that time back. I'm never gonna have those precious moments back in my life. You know, I will never be able to go back in time and change things or do things differently or replay that even again. If it was something that you actually loved in your life, there were there are just things regarding time we can never go back to. And so I really realized, like, oh, we for sure need to have a conversation around victim consciousness and putting ourselves in a victim mentality when it comes to things like this. You know, like I'm gonna keep using the example of time because that's again what we talked about in the lapse last episode. But just know that we can fall victim to so many different things when we allow ourselves to, some in our control and some not in our control. I'm fully aware of that. So I I wanna open up this conversation with letting you know, like, I have made myself a victim to time so many times in my life. I I want to talk about two specific scenarios with you. And one you're actually very familiar with if you listen to this podcast frequently. But if not, I'm gonna mention it again. Some of you may know this about me, some of you may not know this about me, but I was in Mary Kay for quite a bit of time. Gosh, 2016, but very heavily from 2018 to about 2021. And I poured so much of myself into that space, you know, and I just I want to preface this by saying like, say what you want about MLM, say what you want about whatever. Like, I I've heard it all, I know some of the thoughts that you may be having in regards to that. But I want to keep today's conversation a little bit more like high level and not go so much into the nitty-gritty. I just don't think that there's anything necessary about that to go too deep into. But who knows? I might change my mind at some point down the line and be like, you know what? For my healing, for the plot, I'm gonna talk about this more. But today it's not gonna be that kind of conversation. So just so you know. But as you know, with these kinds of companies, you get out of it what it is that you put in. And so for me, again, very heavily in it for those few years, I poured so much of myself, so much time, so much energy, so much money into that. And not just that, but also like parts of me, parts of who I was. I moved up, I was in the top 1%. I like I did the things that you're quote unquote supposed to do, right? And in that process, I lost myself. And when I stepped out of it, I remember looking back and thinking, like, fuck, I'm never gonna get that time back. I'm never gonna get that time back. You know, what's funny is that during that time I also got engaged to Gino. And I remember later down the line noticing, like, oh wow, I wasn't as present to getting engaged because I also was so focused on moving up the path in Mary Kay at that time as well. Like it was a huge thing. I that year in 2019, I promoted myself two times within Mary Kay. I got engaged um the previous year, but like it was like a just a few months before because uh how it worked out on the calendar. We had just moved, like there were so many different things. We were doing renovations in our current house, and it was just such a crazy time. It was a crazy time, and everything went by so quickly. And I just remember a few years later, I don't know, probably a very normal moment that I was sitting down somewhere and just thinking, like, huh, but I don't really remember that time of my life. Man, I'm never gonna get that time back. You know, like Gino's never gonna propose to me again. I mean, maybe he will, who knows? I keep pressuring him because he totally swerved a kiss after he asked me. He was just so nervous and he swerved a kiss. I was like, you need to do that again. You understand that, right? Just to be funny. I don't think he I don't think he will, but who knows? He'll maybe surprise me one day. Anyways, it was just a crazy time, and I just remembered like I'll never get back those years. I'll never get back the relationships, the energy that I gave to people who said that they loved me, the women who said that they loved me, and who are no longer in my life at all, who don't check on me, and to be fair, I don't check on them either, you know? Like that part hurts. That part hurts, but I got so much good out of that too. One of my bestest friends in the world, Stephanie, is in my life and forever will be, and that was because of Mary Kay. You know what I mean? I have so many trips that I took, so many, just so many memories that I am grateful for to those years. And what I didn't realize at the time was that like I didn't just experience that loss, I built an identity around it. I became the woman who wasted years. I became the woman who gave too much, became the woman who was a people pleaser. I became the woman who lost herself in the process, and I stayed there for a while until like I realized, like, oh man, I really have to do something about this, you know, and then enter in all the coaching and different things that I've put myself in afterwards. But yeah, just building an identity and living in within that consciousness can be very detrimental to you, you know. And it didn't just show up there, friends. It showed up in my family business too. Hello, message, same pattern, different environment. This took so much time from me. I gave so much of myself, I lost time here too, you know. It's just things that you feel like you have to do, places that you feel like you have to stay within. And for what? All because you're being the good girl. You're doing what you're supposed to do. You're doing, you know, you're you signed up for something, so you gotta see it all the way through. It's interesting how we keep ourselves in those boxes, you know what I mean? So yeah, all of that felt true at the time too. I want to be very clear. Like all of that, the this took so much from me, the I gave so much of myself, people pleasing, all of that, all of that felt true at the time. It felt valid and it made sense, but it was a loop that I had to get myself out of because it was not true, you know, and that's again later down the line when I started getting into coaching and uh having a mentor and then being able to coach myself and reading all these different books and listening to these different podcasts and breaking myself out of that like have to mentality, being the good girl mentality that was so critical for me. Here's what I had to realize is that just because something is true, it doesn't mean that it has to be your identity, right? That version of me had to no longer exist, and I had to be okay with that. So that shift didn't come from like pretending that it didn't happen, because that will never do any good. It didn't come from just bypassing it, it came from this. It came from me having to stop myself in my tracks, and I had to stop asking, what did this take from me? And I had to start asking myself, what did this build within me? So if you are finding yourself in a moment in time right now where you are being a victim to your circumstances, you are operating out of victim consciousness, you have to stop and look at this and like stop asking, what is this taking from me, be that what it may, and start asking yourself, what is this building within me? Right. And that's why people say, do it for the plot, or you know, whatever kids say nowadays. It's like, but it's character building. That's what kids are saying these days, which I think is really funny because it's true. It's true. But there is a version of you that's being built right now. There is a version of yourself that you are becoming, and you have to take a moment to understand, like, okay, well, what is that? What is that, you know? What is this building within me? So what that does is it kind of gives you that feeling of like, oh, okay, like those years aren't wasted then. They were just those years were just building my awareness, they're building my discernment, which is huge. It's building my self-trust within myself, it's building my ability to see what is for me and what is not for me. They were shaping the woman that I am now, and it is shaping the person that you are becoming now. So this is something that I teach inside the containers that I hold within Light Oasis all of the time. And one of the things that I have created in the past to support you in this is a workbook called The Levels of Consciousness. And what I want to just quickly read off, I actually have my phone on me right now. And I opened up this is a free resource, by the way, that you can find in the light library. And I will go ahead and leave that link for you in the show notes. But I just want to quickly go through the levels of consciousness with you because what we're talking about mostly right now is the level of victim consciousness, right? And this is all about hearing like life happens to me. My life is happening to me, right? This is all about you living by societal conditioning and programming. And this sounds or feels like you feel victimized, helpless, and believe that you have no power over anything in your life, your job, your family, your choices, and you're blaming outside circumstances, people, things, events for reasons why you cannot make the change that you desire. That's where victim consciousness lives, right? And that is so freaking draining. It's so draining. I lived there, you guys, like had a whole house. I built a whole house for myself in victim consciousness for years, for so many years. Like, I didn't just pitch a tent there, it was a whole house, and it was exhausting, it was draining, and I I don't want you to be there anymore. The next level is all about hustle and the need to control, right? This is all about kind of awakening to that. This is this is sounding like life happens by me. So you're no longer living in victimhood, right? Like you know, like, okay, I need to change something. So the only way that I'm gonna change something is by me being able to control it, right? So life happens by me. It's you believe that you have control of everything, believing that you make things happen because you are causing them to happen. You are ambitious and driven, which is necessary, right? It's great. We need sometimes we need to take control over ourselves in order to create the change that we are desiring in our life. Then, and what I want to say too is that we are always oscillating between these different consciousness levels. We're never just stuck in one. There is no one to like it's not a hierarchy, you know, it's not one that you have to make sure that you keep yourself in. We're gonna ebb and flow always in these levels of consciousness. It it's just how it is. We are always going to fall back into a victim consciousness in some way, shape, or form in our life. It's just all about okay, how can we condense the time now that we're in this, you know, and becoming masterful at that. So the next is going to be higher power and flow. And this is all about life happens through me. You believe that you are here for a reason, a bigger purpose, and are in touch with your higher power. You're masterful with your intuition, trusting that it will guide you and have faith that you will have all of your needs met. Okay, really beautiful. That is when you really start letting go of control and you start surrendering to your life, and you're like, Okay, okay, this is what I want. I believe that this is for me. I know that it's all gonna happen in due time, right? And then the last state is going to be enlightenment, and this is all about life happens as me. And this says, you know that you are one with spirit and all of that there is, that there is no separation between you, your higher self, God, and others. You operate from a place of deep compassion. The focus is primarily on being in the present moment, doing unto others as you would have others do unto you, while you are inspired by spirit to take aligned action. So again, this is why I say like we oscillate between these. You're not just gonna stay at an enlightened state at all time. We're humans. We are meant to feel all the emotions and operate at different frequencies at all times. So it's just a matter of okay, well, how can I get myself to a through me level of consciousness or an as me level of consciousness? I'm at least flowing in between that more than feeling like life is happening to me or feeling the need to control. Like I said in the beginning of this episode at Light Oasis, we really, really believe in whole human healing. And that means that you are combining your mind, your body, your soul, your emotions, everything all in one, your energy. It's really important. It's really important that you get the full scope of all of that. So that's a free tool for you. Please be sure to go ahead and grab it. And when you also are in the light library, you get so many other different freebies and tools and embodiment tools that I have for you in there. It's really, really beautiful. So if you are listening to this and you've been holding on to the whole idea of, man, I've lost time. I gave too much, I can never get that back. I just want you to pause and ask yourself, how long have I been identifying with that version of me? Is there any part that I could soften a little? Is there any part of me that wants to let some of this go and see what comes up? See what comes up for you. And like I said, if this is something that you're navigating, that free resource is inside of the light oasis light library. Again, it's called the Four Levels of Consciousness Reflection and Integration Workbook. And it's gonna help you see exactly where you are and what it looks like to move from like this has happened to me into this is something that I get to rise from and I get to use, you know, it's built that character within me. I get to use this now. And again, that tool is completely free. Let it show you, let it show you where you might still be giving your power away a little bit. And I just want to end on this. You did not lose time, you became someone through it. And that's really important. The only question now is are you gonna keep identifying with who you were then, or are you gonna actually live as the one that you are now? Okay. I love you so so much. Thank you for listening to today's episode, and I will talk to you in the next one. Bye.