43: The Mysterious Superpower of Authenticity - Why It’s Magnetic and How to Embrace It

🌱 Why embracing uniqueness is a superpower

🌱 The importance of knowing the standards you hold for yourself and others

🌱 How constantly giving energy to things outside of yourself can leave you feeling heavy and how intentional solitude can help

🌱 Why the people who are most authentic are also the most magnetic without trying

🌱 How “coming back to your authentic self” is more about letting go of other people’s stories rather than you becoming a whole new person

🌱 Reclaiming your power by setting boundaries and being your own leader

& more!

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Instagram: @organicreagan https://www.instagram.com/organicreagan/ 

YouTube: @Oreaganic (https://youtube.com/@oreaganic?si=-G95qvftDopdbCWv)

Xoxo, Reagan🤍🌱

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello my friends and welcome back to the organic podcast. I'm your host, Reagan, and I don't even know how to start this episode because I have so many thoughts about the topic of being yourself. And I feel like being yourself is a really, really general, overarching theme that a lot of people have talked about online and it's the whole kind of core of my brand is coming back to being your most authentic organic self, authenticity, and just really leaning into your uniqueness and what makes you you because I know how much power that brings to the table when it comes to having an impact on the world. But there's just so much to this topic, and it's coming up for me most relevantly because there has been a lot of just like a lot of just heaviness that I've been feeling. Not like anything in particular necessarily happened lately, but it's just been one of those seasons where I have a lot going on, going through a lot of stuff, not like in despair, but there's just a lot I'm sorting through in my own space and my own piece. And in seasons like this, especially, where I feel like I'm more to myself, and like even with social media, I haven't really been posting as much lately. I haven't really been feeling this like crazy sense of like, oh my god, drive, let's go, post this, post that, like, show up when you don't want to, blah blah blah, all that stuff, like has not has not been hitting lately. And it's made me think and made me reflect on like why why do I post in the first place? Or why do I have this podcast? Why do I cater to the needs of others before myself? Like, why am I always in anticipation mode of operating from this place where it's like, this is what I feel like I should be doing, this is what I'm kind of like forcing myself to do, but it's not really coming from this place of like a heart-centered, joy-based drive. It's coming from, oh my gosh, I should do this, I need to do this. Like, if I don't do this, then that means this about me. And oh, this person's gonna be upset if I don't do this, or I don't respond this way, or I don't, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like so, so much of my energy that has drained me and caused me to feel so heavy has been this pressure that like I need to put out so much energy for the sake of taking care of everyone else and managing their problems and managing how they feel and anticipating like what the most quote unquote ideal response is based on who I'm talking to, or just like the overall overarching pressure of like I have to build a brand, I have to do this, and I'm just like, this is not this is not hitting, like, this is not working out, guys. It's not working out, which isn't to say that this is like a personal thing against anyone or anything in my life right now, it's just a season that I'm noticing, and I feel like it brings up this important conversation around the fact that so many of us are operating from this place where we are constantly giving and outputting and catering our behavior, our thoughts, our beliefs to what we think we should do based on what we know that someone else wants for us or what we feel like is the right thing to do that would make us seem or appear like we are on top of things and figuring things out and actually showing up and we probably have this subconscious fear of like what will people oh wow, what will people think of me, or what does it mean about me if I don't do these things? If I take a break from posting on social media, if I don't cater my behavior to be palatable to anyone, like what does that mean about me? Like, does that mean people are gonna think that I'm a bitch? Do they think that what if they think differently of me? What if I don't know, insert XYZ thing? We have all these worries that are really keeping us and have been keeping me lately from feeling like I'm actually empowered and living in a way that makes me feel happy, like truly, truly just joyful and happy, and not as much of like a oh, like I'm very blessed and grateful, but more so in the way of like my days aren't just go to check off all the to-do boxes, and I'm only happy and successful if I like did everything that I needed to do and lived up to all these expectations that honestly aren't even mine, like they don't even really come from a deep internal, intrinsic place of motivation, they just come from external pressure. I guess that's the center of this episode. It's gonna be the difference between being intrinsically motivated by joy, by love, by a genuine desire for you to just like do something that you really enjoy and help others in doing so, versus being motivated by pressure, force, shame, guilt, and fear. Those are two really big differences and bigger themes that play out into a lot of different areas of life, but I'm just gonna riff on this a little bit, even though I already have, but we're literally five minutes into this, not even intro at this point. It's a mini podcast in and of itself. Without further ado, you get to hear my intro. Let's get into it. Welcome to the Organic Podcast. I'm your host, Reagan, mechanical engineer, lifelong athlete, and recovered overachiever, here to empower you to pursue your highest potential and live freely as your happiest, most organic self. Every week we'll dive into topics ranging from personal growth, mindset hacks, psychology, and a blend of science and spirituality to give you all the tools you need to stop living on autopilot and start creating a life of freedom, meaning, and fulfillment as your most organic self. If you're ready to become ready to do something, guys, I'm gonna be honest, words are not coming super easily to me today. So if I seem a little bit like off-tilter in this episode, thank you for your patience and I hope that you can still follow along. But this episode talking about how your uniqueness is your biggest strength is really being pulled from the current experiences that I've been going through, where I can way more clearly than ever before sense, feel, and see the ways that I have sacrificed myself, shrunk shrunk myself, made myself more palatable, been agreeable, and done all these things for the sake of making other people comfortable or appealing to structures and systems and expectations that I did not put on myself. I kind of just had them put on me by society or by conditioning, whatever you want to call it. I'm becoming more and more aware of the truths that don't actually belong to me, like the thoughts, the behaviors, the patterns, the habits, the mindsets that truly do not belong to me. And with the theme of authenticity and being your most organic self, a lot of this journey that you will hear so many other mindset coaches, like influencers, like everyone who's in kind of like the personal development mindset space will always talk about how, well, if they're doing a good job, at least in my opinion, they will always talk about how a lot of the work is not done by completely reinventing yourself or the goal of becoming a whole new person. The goal is to let go of all of the ways that you have been trained to be acting like someone else or fitting into someone else's boxes of expectations that have kept you from being your most authentic self. Now, when you think about it, when we are kids, before we are conditioned and programmed and become socially aware and aren't just like, you know, running around joyous, happy, like not a care in the world, when we are that age, like we are probably the most ourselves that we like have ever been in our lives so far, obviously. And it's only the the conditioning and the programming and the external structures and opinions that take us away from that kind of baseline of being yourself. But this is why subconscious reprogramming, understanding how your brain works, working with your nervous nervous system, understanding somatic therapy, like all of these things are very powerful in getting you back to being your most authentic self because they are what allow you to untangle the weeds within your own mind and body, mind, body, and soul, and understand what actually belongs to you and what beliefs have been just trained into you or conditioned into you that don't actually belong to you or serve you. People will operate their entire lives off of conditioning and programs that do not belong to them, that were put on them by a teacher or a parent or a sibling or even like school, or I already said teacher, but school systems, societal expectations, all of these systems and things that come from outside of us. People will operate on this system for literally their entire lives until they gain awareness of the fact that that's not really like the full, most potent, powerful, aligned, authentic version of yourself and your truth that you can access. Isn't that funny? Like, why are we not taught this in school? Like, why is no one telling me about the nervous system or your subconscious mind shaping your entire reality in school? Like, wow, really convenient that we just want to keep the truth of how people can actually free themselves from their own suffering from the masses because it may or may not be profitable for people to be suffering. Anyways, anyways, I digress. This point of coming back to being yourself and letting go of everything that doesn't belong to you is really powerful because it's extremely freeing. It is extremely freeing, and even if it feels like a little bit terrifying to realize that so much of your life or so many different layers of yourself have been influenced by others and have kind of taken you away from being like your most authentic self, it's also really, really it's a really potent experience, and it's also a lifelong one. Like when you say, I'm coming back to being my most authentic self, it doesn't just happen once, and then you're like, Okay, I'm my most authentic self, and that's done. Like, I feel like there are always layers to working through anything in life. It's like the analogy of talking about working through things in a spiral fashion, where every time you return to the same place, but it's at a deeper level. And I feel like this journey of being more authentic, and even the fact that I'm having this conversation and going through the season of life that I'm in, is an example of how I have been aware of how powerful it is for you to be authentic. I I'm very passionate in people being completely themselves and not feeling like they are kept from that, like not feeling like they are truly fully free to be themselves. I'm very passionate about that. It's why it's the core of my brand, it's the cornerstone of it, and it's something that I have had a lot of experience with coming back to myself. Even still, I'm currently in a season of life where it has become apparent to me that there are still many ways and areas, subtle, some subtle, some not so subtle, where I'm giving way more than what I am getting in return when it comes to energy, joy, actually finding happiness in the things that I do and not just treating them like to-do tasks and only feeling good about myself when they're done. Like, I I have also been way more aware of what I'm willing to tolerate from other people, not anyone in particular, but just just in general. Like, what am I what are my standards? What am I willing to tolerate for myself? What am I willing to actually allow into my life? Not even from other people, but also just from myself, from me. That's another part of this whole being your most authentic self-journey that is difficult and one that's not talked about enough is the fact that you are leading yourself through it. Yes, you can have mentors, yes, you can have people to support you, but all in all, the only person who's really truly leading you through this journey is yourself. So there's a definitely a factor of motivation when it comes to understanding that you are the only one who can control your life. You are the only one who is capable of truly making change in your life, which is both freeing and can also feel like a heavy responsibility because it's like, okay, great, like I have all of these programs that don't belong to me, and there's all this shit coming up, and I get triggered by XYZ thing, and this person's being weird, and I don't like how they're treating me here, or I don't like the pressure they're putting on me, blah blah blah. All of these things can feel like almost like it's a chore to have to deal with. It's like, oh my god, yeah, great. Like now I have all this awareness of patterns that don't serve me and ways that I can change to to live a more fulfilling life and to be more myself, but holy fuck, I have to do all the work for that. I have to reflect on it, I have to journal, I have to, I don't know, whatever whatever form of therapy you want to say in terms of like somatic or mindset or emotional, spiritual, whatever. Like you are the one who has to kind of go through and quote unquote do the work to release and shed all of these layers that don't belong to you and are not actually intrinsic to your soul. And it can feel like a lot of work. Honestly, it's felt like a bit of work for me lately too, but at the same time, one of my mentors, Emma Jackson, at soulfulsunshine. Shout freaking out, shout out Emma, I love her, because she just posted something recently on Instagram um talking about how it can feel like work to go through this process, yes, and that's also just life. It's it's just life to go through these constant patterns of growth and evolution and change and learning and expanding and hopefully becoming more and more and more the closest version of your authentic self that you can in this life. Like it's just part of the process, and it's either gonna be hard to stay exactly where you're at and just be kind of stuck with you're not stuck, but feel like you're stuck with patterns or habits or mindsets that don't serve you. And it's also hard to do the work to change that. But wouldn't you rather go through the discomfort of doing that now and then get to feel the benefit of that and reap the rewards later, rather than just going through the discomfort of feeling like, oh, I feel like there's stuff holding me back. I'm not fully myself. I I think this way, but it's not actually what I believe or how I want to feel, but then never doing anything about it. There's a very different feeling behind like, oh, I'm uncomfortable, so I'm gonna decide to make change, and then this will make me less uncomfortable and make me happier, even if it's uncomfortable in the process, versus I'm uncomfortable, but changing also feels uncomfortable, even though it would get me to a better spot. So I'm just gonna stay here. That's uncomfortable. Do you know what I mean? I is this making sense? I hope this is making sense. Honestly, where I've really just been narrowing down this whole concept, just everything I've been talking about lately, is in the amount of energy that I am putting into things and the intention behind it. Like, what is actually motivating me intrinsically to be doing what I am doing, and how can I come back to a place of joy? Because with so much heaviness, with working through a lot emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, whatever it may be, it can feel like it just absorbs all of the room and takes up all the space and doesn't leave any room for just pure joy or the simplicity of happiness and doing things without pressure. But to be able to fully enjoy the experience of being happy and joyful, you have to let go of all of the parts of you that feel like you do not deserve that, or tell you that you're doing something wrong if you decide to do things in the way that just feels most unique and authentic to you. And I'm saying this with the preface obviously that this means that these things do not harm anyone else, they do not harm you, they serve you in your highest interest, but they just don't have any room for you to be catering to other people's needs or like what everyone else wants, or or being very aware of like the pressure that someone else is putting on you to have a certain response or act a certain way or do a certain thing. Like you have to let go of all of those layers that make you feel like everyone else's opinion is way more important than your own opinion of yourself because that's not the truth, it's just conditioning. And when you do this correctly, when it's not from this place of ego and self-centeredness, but rather from this place of love and a desire to genuinely just care for yourself and you know fulfill your potential, you will see a very clear pivot in your experience of life. I'm honestly just really done to the fact that like if you are someone who is very highly attuned to the energy of others, you are very, you are a very sensitive being, you're a sensitive soul, you can read people very easily. Like, I am extremely, extremely sensitive to people's energies, and I am extremely intuitive and very easily can understand and read the vibe of someone, and like I I know when something is off. Like, I'm telling you guys, like my my intuition is laser precise. Like, I am telling you, and it's a gift and a curse because it's just the classic case of where people are like, Oh, I'm such an empath. But seriously, when you are someone who is very sensitive to the energy of other people and you're very well attuned to it, you can like automatic it's almost like a subconscious program to automatically attune your behavior, your energy, your expectations to match that of the other person rather than what you actually want, because you are so aware of like what they want from you and the pressure that they may be putting on you, whether it's intentional or not. Like you're aware of the pressure of how that person wants you to show up and wants you to be and what makes them comfortable. And when you are someone who is very highly attuned, into intuitive, sensitive, gifted, connected, whatever, empathetic, you just feel like this subliminal pressure to like match their expectations and to fit the behavior that they want you to be in rather than the behavior that you want. And I honestly haven't really been too much of and I haven't had too much experience like kind of breaking out of this quite yet in a way where I feel super fully confident to be like, yeah, I don't listen to that at all. But I'm definitely starting this journey, and I think this is the next layer of coming back to being most authentically myself is actually reclaiming my voice and and power and being able to say, like, yo, I don't fucking care what you think, I don't care what you say, I don't care what anyone else says or wants from me or what makes them comfortable. I am just going to be me. I'm gonna do me. Quite literally, I am going to just be myself, be unique, embrace it, and I just don't give a fuck if you have a problem with it. If you have a problem with it, go fuck off. You don't have to be here. Like, goodbye. That's the kind of energy I'm trying to uh embody here. And there's a lot of layers to it that my subliminal mind has some problems and just questions for how we're actually gonna do that, but that's the energy that I'm feeling. And I can tell you that even though it's uncomfortable to think this way or to feel like you're kind of breaking out of people pleasing, it's also extremely empowering and freeing. It's like it's like the energy of like you don't fuck with me, don't even fucking try to talk to me like that. Like, do not mess with me. It's it's the energy of like I'd like to fucking see you try to to mess with me, please. But all of this is for the sake of you being most authentically yourself, and that is something that helps everyone. Because if I'm sure you can probably think of someone who you follow online who or even just know in person, like your friends, whatever, someone who's really, really themselves, and like they don't apologize for it, and they are just them, and that's how it is, that's what it is, and they don't cater to what anyone else wants for them or what society wants for them, like they are just fully themselves. You will find that these people are often really, really magnetic, like they naturally attract people to them because that level of authenticity is something that draws people in because it's like such a powerful energy, it is so it gives you so much freedom, authenticity, power, like just to embrace your uniqueness really does just have this whole different vibe to it, this whole different sense of empowerment that you cannot access unless you fully decide to be fully 100% claiming of your own truth and yourself. And I guess this is my whole spiel, maybe this will cap off the episode, but it really is such a strength. It is such a strength to be completely yourself, and the number one way to get there is to get rid of the ways that you have been abandoning yourself for the sake of making everyone else happy before you. Fuck them, fuck that, not fuck them, but you know what I mean. Like you don't need to to emphasize just everyone else before yourself because if you do not take care of yourself, if you do not pour into yourself first, you are not gonna have nearly as much to be able to even give to other people and the world, never mind even just keeping yourself freaking sane and happy and alive and joyful. So it is always worth it to come back to a place of authenticity and to put that work into yourself. And if someone has a problem with it or someone's being fucking weird and genuinely just like fucking like just like odd, strange, genuinely just fucking block them, cut them out of your life. Like, if someone does not like your authentic self, why would you want them to be with you? Like, why would you want them to be in your space, in your sphere, like available to you whatsoever? Like it just you just don't. You really don't. Oh my goodness, I feel like I really need to just get that off of my chest, guys. So I hope that you take something away from today's episode. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. I appreciate every single one of you guys, and I am so grateful for the fact that I can and have the potential to actually make a difference in other people's lives. And that is my goal to just help you guys and to share my experience as someone who's on the same level as you so that you can hopefully get where you want to be faster. So, with that said, I'll be posting more on social media probably in the next coming weeks, but I have completely removed the pressure for myself to like be showing up a certain way and like I'm have I'm literally just like it's like I'm downloading a new code into my body and I need to do like a system reset, like a hardware reset. You know, when a computer is updating and it gets to just like shut down. That's how I feel lately, where I am just I'm just upgrading the system and just you know going through the process of like deleting all the codes that I did not fucking write for myself. And coming back to just, you know, the original codes that I had, all the if else statements that I wrote in for myself and not the ones that have been hacked and breached the firewall, aka society and other people programming me. Anyways, before I'm just keep yapping, I'm going to go. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I hope you're doing well. Go be your most organic selves, and I will see you in the next one.