The Part We Don’t Want to Admit: How We Contribute to Our Resentment

Resentment doesn’t just come from what others aren’t doing…
Sometimes, it also grows in the patterns we don’t realize we’re creating.

In this tender and honest episode, we gently explore the part of resentment that’s harder to face, the thoughts, habits, and silent expectations we carry that may be keeping us stuck.

Not from shame.
Not from blame.
But from empowerment.

We talk about:
 • The thoughts we have when we’re overwhelmed (and how they shape our reality)
 • How over-functioning can unintentionally teach others not to show up
 • The quiet ways we’ve been tolerating more than we should
 • And how to shift these patterns with honesty, not guilt

This is the kind of self-awareness that changes everything.
Because when you can see it, you can shift it.

You are not the problem.
But you are powerful enough to create something different.

✨ If this episode resonates, come join the Rewrite Her Voice email list, a space for honest reflection, soft growth, and reminders that you’re allowed to need support too.
 

I would love to hear how your inner mean girl is showing up and what tools are working for you!

Let's connect! you can find me on Instagram or Facebook

For more information on The Rewrite Collective membership click here

Love, Rach

Transcript

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Welcome to Rewrite Her Voice, the podcast that takes a bold and compassionate look at the inner critic living rent-free in your head. You know the woman. She's judgmental, perfectionistic, and never misses a chance to tear you down. But here's the truth that voice isn't truly you. Each week we dive into an honest conversation with powerful stories and practical tools to uncover where that inner mean girl came from, why she shows up, and how to rewrite her script. It's time to reclaim your inner voice, break the cycle of self-sabotage, and speak to yourself with the kindness and strength you deserve. If you're ready to stop letting your inner mean girl run the show and start showing up as your most authentic, empowered self, let's go. Hey, hey, hey. So this episode is a continuation of last week's episode because I had some questions brought to me and some insights. So I thought we would do another one. So we're going to talk about something a little more tender this week because yes, resentment often comes from caring too much and being appreciated too little. But sometimes resentment also grows in the places we don't want to look. There's a moment in healing where you gently ask yourself, how am I contributing to this dynamic? Not from shame, not from self-blame, but from empowerment. It's from seeing the thoughts you don't want to admit, right? Sometimes the thought, those thoughts sound like no one ever helps me. Why am I the only one who sees this? If they really cared, they'd just know. I shouldn't have to ask. And those thoughts feel true in the moment because you're exhausted. But if we're honest, those thoughts also carry bitterness. And bitterness can shift your tone, your energy, and your attitude, even if you never say the words out loud. It's okay to see that. It's okay to call yourself out with love. Calling out the mean thoughts gently is good. You can say to yourself, okay, that was a little harsh. I'm feeling overwhelmed and it's making me think the worst. I'm frustrated, not unloved. The resentment is talking, not my truth. When you shine a lot, a light on those thoughts, they lose their power. You step back into intention instead of reaction. Here's the harder truth. Sometimes we teach our families how to treat us without even realizing it. We overfunction, we swoop in, we handle it before anyone even has a chance. We take pride in being the one who gets it done. We say, I'm fine, even when we're drowning. We accept the bare minimum because asking for more feels uncomfortable. And slowly, we train the people around us that we don't need help, appreciation, or acknowledgement. Not because they don't care, but because we never required it. And this is not blame. Okay, hear me when I say this. This is not blame. I am not saying it's your fault. Hear that. Please hear that, my sweet friend. This is not blame. This is awareness. This is me calling you to a place of awareness because awareness is power. Start asking yourself, what have I taught them? And this comes from a place of my own realization, way back when realizing that I have taught my family how to treat me. And I had a really rude awakening and I had to shift the way I asked for help by actually asking for help to begin with. So here are some questions. Have I taught my family that I'll always do it? Have I taught my family that they don't need to ask? Have I taught my family that I don't need help? Have I taught my family I don't expect gratitude? And more importantly, is that still the truth? Or was that a survival strategy that you've outgrown? It's time for some shifting without shame. You're allowed to say, I used to handle everything, but I can't anymore. Or even better, I used to handle everything, but I don't want to anymore. I taught you that I've got this, but I need support now. I realize I've made it look easy. Guess what? It's not. I would like to share the load differently. No guilt, no apologies, just honesty. So let's talk about how this ties back to resentment. Resentment often comes from two places at once what others aren't doing and what we've been silently tolerating. When you look at both pieces, you reclaim your power. You stop being the victim of the dynamic and start co-creating a new one. This helps you feel validated and equipped to shift. That's what this episode is. I want you to take a look, do some reflecting, and ask yourself Am I training my family? Am I becoming invisible to my family because I have taught them to do so? It's okay if you have created these habits and these patterns from a place of survival or from a place of misunderstood dynamics in your family. It's okay if you accidentally accepted a role that you don't want to be in. It's okay if these roles just automatically got divvied up and there was no conversation about it. It's never too late to have a conversation. It's never too late to say, hey, I don't want to live like this anymore. Hey, I don't want to carry all this burden anymore. It is okay to ask for help. Always, always, always. You are enough. You are worthy and you are loved. Until the next time, my sweet friend, LoveRach. Hey, my sweet friend. Thank you so much for spending time with me today on Rewrite Her Voice. If you love today's episode, will you hit that subscribe button for me? And be sure to share it with a friend. If you're ready to quiet your inner mean girl and step into your own authentic voice, I would love for you to join me inside our cultivating membership. Until next time, remember, you are enough.