Ep. 34 - Step Into Your Power: Confidence, Growth & Purpose with Nicole Broadway

What if confidence isn’t something you wait for… but something you create?

In this powerful episode of Rewired, Tiffany is joined by Nicole Broadway—entrepreneur, speaker, and founder of the So Girl movement.

With over 20 years of experience in fitness, leadership, and personal transformation, Nicole shares what it really takes to step into your power, build confidence, and become the version of yourself you trust.

Together, they explore the intersection of real-life growth and the neuroscience of change—unpacking the patterns that keep women stuck and the mindset shifts that help them rise.

Nicole brings authenticity, humor, and hard-earned wisdom to a conversation that will leave you feeling both grounded and energized to take action.

In This Episode:

• Why confidence isn’t something you find—it’s something you build
• The internal barriers that keep women from stepping into their next level
• The difference between confidence and alignment
• How community and connection support real transformation
• Practical ways to shift out of overgiving and into empowered action

✨ A Guided Practice Inside This Episode:

Tiffany walks you through a powerful “Confidence Reset” using the TEB Model (Thoughts → Emotions → Behaviors)—a simple, neuroscience-backed way to create confidence on purpose.

Because when you change your thoughts, you change how you feel… and how you show up.

About Nicole:

Nicole Broadway is a dynamic leader, entrepreneur, and motivator dedicated to helping others step into their power and become the best version of themselves. She is the owner of Bodies by Broadway and the visionary behind the So Girl movement—an empowerment platform inspiring women to grow, rise, and lead with purpose.

With over two decades of experience in both fitness and corporate leadership, Nicole brings a unique, real-world perspective to transformation—helping women build confidence from the inside out.

🔗 Connect with Nicole:

• Website: SoGirl.org
• TikTok: SoGirlBroadway TikTok

Book now at YesEmpower.com

Stay connected with Rewired
Listen anytime on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or yesempower.com/podcast

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for weekly tools, neuroscience-based inspiration, and stories of real change.

Discover upcoming workshops, LaunchPad learning, and coaching opportunities at yesempower.com

Empowered people empower people. Live intentionally. Lead thoughtfully. Grow through awareness.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Welcome to Rewired. I'm your host, Tiffany Grimes, with Empower Coaching and Training. We have a treat for you today. You get to meet Nicole Broadway. Nicole is a dynamic leader, entrepreneur, and motivator dedicated to helping others step into their power and become the best version of themselves. And I want to tell you before I go on to tell you all the really cool things Nicole is doing, she literally rolled into my life on her office chair via my TikTok reels. And she has such a wonderful presence. She imparts such magnificent wisdom and just looks at the camera after she's rolled into the screen and just shares this brilliant moments. And what I found is I kept, you know, harding her work and then I kept saving some of the reels. And finally I thought I want a conversation with this person and reached out. And Nicole said yes. So we had the opportunity to connect with over 20 years of experience as a personal trainer and fitness professional. She is the proud owner of a successful fitness studio, Bodies by Broadway, where she can work with others and really has helped transform countless lives, not just through health and discipline, but through this combination of those things with confidence building. As the visionary behind the So Girl Empowerment brand, Nicole uses her voice and platform to inspire women to step out, to grow, to inspire, to rise and lead with purpose. And her messages always start with that. So I said she rolled onto my screen in her office chair, and then she looks at the screen and she goes, So girl. And I love it. I love the name of the business. She tells us what SoGirl means in our conversation today. But the message blends real life experience, humor, authenticity, creating this powerful connection that resonates with women from all walks of life, including myself. She also brings over two decades of corporate experience with her into this work and into her wisdom sharing and confidence building. Nicole retired from ATT after 21 years of service and now serves as a manager for Jefferson County, where she continues to lead with integrity and impact within her community. Before I introduce Nicole and our conversation that we got to have, I just want to share a couple of her videos, a couple of her reels, and just have you hear her and her voice. And so I'll play a couple of those and then I will get right into our conversations.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

So, girl, sometimes the hardest part isn't the pain. It's pretending you're okay. So take the mask off. You don't have to perform strength. Real strength is saying this hurts. So, girl, feel it. Don't fake it. Have a good day.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

And let's listen to one more folks. I'm gonna play one more as Nicole rolls into the screen and then rolls out. I'm excited for you to meet Nicole. And then at the end, when I finish up with Nicole, I will also be offering an exercise on the Teb cycle focused on confidence and some of the pieces that Nicole and I bring into this conversation. So be sure to listen up for that as well.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

So, girl, let's be honest. Some of the things we cried over. If we knew then what we know now, we'd have just gone to brunch. So, girl, laugh. It's part of the healing too. Have a good day.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Nicole, I'm so glad that you're joining us from SoGirl from Arkansas. Welcome to the Rewired Podcast. Thank you very much. Thank you for having me. Yeah, absolutely. I can't wait to get into your story and what it is that you're doing. And, you know, what I love to share, and I shared it in the intro, is you know, you kind of rolled on, literally rolled on to my TikTok feed with this really great daily dose of just empowerment that you do. And I it just felt so real and authentic and wise, and I just loved it. And so I'm so glad we're here for this conversation. We always start the podcast with the same question, which is what does empowerment mean to you? And what's feeling empowering in your life right now, Nicole?

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Wow. Okay, so empowerment for me, first and foremost, I think it's actually setting a boundary, but honoring the boundary you set. For me, that is empowerment. And you know, knowing when peace is at risk to walk away, to choosing yourself. That is what feels empowering to me. Choosing yourself and honoring your boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yeah, I love that. And I love the differentiation between setting them and holding them because it's really two bodies of work. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

You could you could set them all day, but if you don't, if you don't practice them, exactly, then you're just resentful.

unknown 6:39

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Yeah, yeah. So, all right, well, introduce us to SOGirl, which is an acronym and also just a really wonderful name and entry. And you have merch and all this stuff. So tell us what this thing is that you've created and what led you to this work, and particularly what was the moment or experience that made you say, I need to create this for other women. I'm bringing this to other women. Tell us about SoGirl.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

So, you know, funny story. So girl started in a season in my life when I was I was 42 and I was thrust into being a caregiver for my parents, right? My mother had Alzheimer's at the time, and my dad was fine, but eventually I became his caregiver as well, you know, the getting liver cancer. And so it was a hard season, right? It was a hard season. I had to uproot from where I lived in Atlanta, moved to relocate to Arkansas, and I needed an easy, I needed a laugh, I needed a release. And so I created So Girl as a way to just start conversation and say something funny, right? And I would use social media to do it. And you know, I'd be like, hey, So Girl, uh, for all you mothers out there, you know, if you have daughters, you better teach them how to do your hair because if not, you're gonna get old and it's gonna look like this. And I would show them my mom's hair, right? I didn't know how to braid, I was never taught that, I was never taught how to do hair, you know. I said, so I would just make moments that were light for me, right? Yeah, and it transitioned over time, Tiffany. The people coming to me and saying, You don't know how you made me laugh in that day, right? Or you don't know how you eased my journey in that day with something that you said, right? You really showed us what caregiving was about and how to make it easy. It was just a hard season for a lot of people in my circle during that time. And so I took Soul Girl and I said, Well, you know what, let's let's grow this, let's make it not more than just funny. Humor is great too, but let's let's let it reach some audiences in a different way as well. So let's let's empower women, let's motivate them on the things that we go through on a daily basis. And so it it it grew from there, it grew from there. And just last year I was like, I want to have a conference, right? I want to have a soul girl conference, but it has the what is what will we do in this conference? Yeah, how will it, how will it matter, right? And so we came up with the acronym of my soul girl, you know, step out, grumble, inspire, rise, and leave, right? All empowerment, all let's let's get to the real stuff in life type of acronym. And I created the the conference.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

I love that. So, what tell us about the conference? What did you do? Who was there? What transpired in this conference?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Yeah, so I had about a hundred women, all you know, throughout the city of Barack, and some came in from out of state as well to come in. And we took each of those acronyms, and I had host panelists from my community to get on stage, you know, two at a time for each part of the acronym. So the first one was step out, right? Two panelists. What did it take to step out, right? What what were some of the challenges you faced when you stepped out? Like, what's a takeaway that women who are feeling stuck right now can do to step out of their comfort zone, to step into their next season of life, right? So I took each acronym with that, and we did the grupple session, we did the inspired session, the rise and the lead. We brought them all together, we gave them some takeaways, right? And I had a guest speaker to just kind of bring it all in and just had a good time, a feel-good moment, you know, for a few hours, right? We laughed, we danced, we talked, you know, it was what I called couch conversations, yeah. Right now, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

That's so great. And so is I know you're also a trainer, so you're working with people. Is so grow, is your training part of SoGirl? Are these two separate pathways? Tell us about the blend between body and and brain.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Right. And I've been I've been a personal trainer for about uh almost 20 years. Okay. And and part of that journey is of course empowering women as well. Most of my clientele are women, and in the season of the life that I've been in, but motivating them and training them and teaching them that we we may be in here lifting weights, but we're doing so much more, right? We're changing our mindset, we're giving ourselves confidence to go and do other things. It's just not about the body, but this is gonna help you in your life, right? And so that that was the platform for about 20 years. And of course, I bring in SoGirl in it, you know, I I I use the motivations that I see, the the jokes that I tell come from women in my gym, you know, it's just all of that.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

I bring it all together because it is just about changing our perspective, changing our lives for the better, for the better, exactly, intentionally and for the better. Yeah, and so do you provide? I'm thinking about if someone's listening to you and they get excited about this and what you're doing. Are you? I think we started this conversation and then we've our technical difficulty we fell apart. So I'm gonna ask it here again. Are you working with people virtually? Are you doing individual coaching with people? How are you connecting with people outside of folks who can get to your gym?

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Yeah, so that's a branch, a phase for me in the future. Like I haven't grown there yet. You know, this whole conference thing was my first. And the success says, okay, this is something we can do a little bit more often, a little bit more regularly. And so that is a branch that I want to get off into. You know, I'm I'm all about having the people around me that can support that vision of it, right? The licensed people, the people who are certified, the folks who also have the tools, you know, you don't want to mislead people and and guide them, you know, in the wrong direction. So it's important to me that I create the team that will help me get my soul girl to the next level.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

I love that. A hundred people. I mean, that's a great. I'm I don't know what your goal was, but from a person who, you know, organizes and does things, I'd be thrilled with a hundred people.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Over the moon with it, Tiffany, because I didn't expect that. I did not, but we came together and the the feedback has just been phenomenal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

So great. Wow. So, okay, so overwhelmingly, whether it's through training or through this inspirational work that you're doing, you're speaking to women in transition. So, what do you see as the biggest internal barrier, sorry, internal barrier that women face when they're trying to step into this new version of them, who they are?

SPEAKER_02 13:36

You know what it is. I believe fear, and when I say fear, it's a fear of I want to take everybody with me in my new version. And I don't want to offend people that I've outgrown. Um it is a it is a debilitating fear because you really have to you have to give up some things when you're stepping into a new version of you. If you're trying to change your mindset and you're trying to change your environment and you're trying to create a new life for yourself, everything and everyone can't go with you. And that is so fearful, right? You you lose people along the way.

SPEAKER_03 14:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

And that's the thing that I think people really struggle with. Because I'm comfortable with those folks that keep me in my same level, right? This these are the people that I I'm I'm I'm funny to them, but if I'm being challenged to grow and they don't understand my my journey and my path, and they can't come with me, but I don't really want to leave them. You know, that's that's the fear that I think a lot of us, a lot of us face.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

And we're trying to build. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Yeah. I mean, it hit that resonates, that hit me just as you said it. I can think of um a lot of experiences in my life where I yeah, where I I want what's on the other side, but I don't want to let go of what is. And not that even what is is still serving me, but there's some sense of obligation or yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, some guilt there. You don't, you know, they're gonna make you're gonna feel bad. You're gonna feel bad that you had to leave that particular space to do something else. You're gonna feel bad because they did, you know, yeah, it served this purpose when it was there, but it's yeah, it's not there anymore.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Yeah, yeah. It makes me think of, you know, again, you opened up with this idea of boundaries and having to live into the boundaries. And we teach some about quite a bit of boundaries workshop here at Empower. And one of the questions we get all the time is how do I do this without feeling guilty? And the answer is like, you're not.

unknown 15:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

You gotta feel guilty, you gotta feel the guilt and do it anyway, right? Because we're so conditioned. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, so that makes me think of this, you know, messaging that really is this overarching part of what you're doing, both on social media platforms and it sounds like in your conference and in the work that you're doing, it's this idea of choosing yourself, right? I'm choosing myself, I'm putting myself also as a high priority. So, what does that actually look like in real life? Like, how do you go do the thing knowing that you're leaving people behind? You know, how do you actually do that? Not just these in moments, but really as this, like, this is who I am. I value me, I choose me. How does a person do that?

SPEAKER_02 16:35

It is daily, hourly work, yeah, you right, and just in transparency, you know, you you end a relationship. I ended a relationship last year, right? And so the old me says, Well, you know, let me pick up the phone and call and see how they're doing, right? That's the old me. Now the relationship is over. But the old me, because I'm a caregiver in nature, I want to make sure they're okay, or I need another word or something from them to make me feel okay to move forward. You have I have to stop myself in the tracks. I have to choose me and my boundaries to say, no, you don't have to do that. You're moving forward. It is daily work. It is because the thoughts reoccur, right? You know, I've learned that you know, those those reoccurring thoughts is just me reliving my past, me reliving something that once was. And so the moment it creeps up, the moment it creeps up, I have to stop and take a breath and say, No, is that am I honoring my boundaries? And you have to recognize when those thoughts pop up, right? Just can't just move through them. You gotta be consciously aware of when they come into your to the forefront of your mind to do something different. So nope, I'm not doing that today. It that's that's how you do it. You have to do it all day long.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Yeah, you have to work at it all day long, yeah. I mean, it's the foundation of all good work, is you have to be aware of what you're doing, right? It's that self-awareness. What does it feel like when I break my own boundaries? What does it feel like when I've reached out and I actually didn't want to reach out or worked in habit or so forth? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Yeah, it it instantly affects your body. You instantly feel it, right? You know, oh, this is not an alignment thing. This might be an ego thing, this might be something else that I probably need to work on. Your body lets you know, said, Hey, why are you doing this? Yeah, does it feel right? No, it really doesn't. Then why why are you doing it? Honor your boundary, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Honor yourself, choose you, you know, choose you. Yeah, it's so true. You know, and the other thing I think about as you talk about this being moment-to-moment work, which I would absolutely support that idea, is when we think about choosing ourself, I think we think about that, you know, if we thought about it on a scale of one to ten, the choosing myself is a ten, right? Where really if I'm at a two, choosing myself can be a 2.25 and then a 2.5, and choosing myself can look differently as I move up that you know spectrum necessarily. It doesn't mean I've packed my bags and I'm making choices for me.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

And yeah, yeah, it can be out of here. Yeah, and I'm out of here. Right. It's not, yeah, no, yeah, it's small things, right? It is it is gradual. It is the day I chose to just lay in the bed today because I just wanted to rest. Excuse me. Yeah, yeah. It's just a gradual, yeah, it's a scale.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

And bringing that same awareness into the moments you choose yourself. So the moments you give yourself away, bring the awareness, and also the moments you choose yourself that like, hey, look what I just did. Yeah, that was a me moment. Thank you. Yeah, that was a me moment when we did it.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Celebrate the win.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. So, from your perspective, you know, what you talk about confidence and alignment. And I'm curious, what's the difference between for you when you think about confidence and alignment? What's the difference between those things? And how can women tell which one of these they're actually chasing?

SPEAKER_02 21:03

I think I think alignment builds confidence, right? So I think my confidence comes from me doing things that I do that's in align with who I am and where I'm going in my journey. I I get more confidence when I do the things that support who I am, right? So I don't I don't chase confidence. I'm chasing problems, if I'm chasing anything, I'm chasing alignment because my confidence will build from there. I if I can do things that that my body says, this feels good, this flows to where I am, which is hard to do because we're pulled in so many different ways. But if I can if I can stay in alignment on my journey, I can conquer the world in my mind, right? My confidence is is here because I'm doing what's good for me. I'm doing what supports me. And I thrive in what in doing what's what's good for me and where I am in my journey. I'll thrive there. Otherwise, I'm doing I'm not being authentic in other areas, just trying to build a confidence in something that's not even for me. I don't I don't want to do that. And I I've done that in the past. I've I've tried to it's it could be a career to be like, oh, I want to do this and this job, and and that's not in alignment with who I am, right? And so I'm not gonna have a lot of confidence in that job because I'm always trying to figure out how to be the best in something that's not even true to who I am. I don't want to do that. I've learned not to do that. It took it took time, but I've learned not to do that.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

How would you say a person figures out who they are? I can think about people might be listening to this and go, well, how do I know it is an alignment with me? You know, and especially when I think about transitions. I think about, you know, who am I, who, which version of me am I being in alignment with? What are your thoughts about that? How do I how do I get to know me?

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Right. I think that's a great question because I I think it's a body thing. It's it's it's you know if something is bringing you anxiety more than joy, or if you're anxious about the thing to a point where it's debilitating, that's not alignment to me. Right? It yeah, you can have a little nervousness and you can have the butterflies and you can have a little excitement about it, but you know the difference of when it's anxiety and stress that that you're being pulled to and when it's peace. That's a blindment for me. When it's peace, when it flows, and I didn't force it, and I didn't, you know, try to make something happen that's not even supposed to be for me, that's not alignment. So it's my body telling me if I'm stressed, if I'm sleep, if I'm anxious, I know I'm not in a blindment. And I have to step back and and examine what that is. Like what am I forcing myself to do? And I I've said it in one of my rollblouts, you know, flow over force. If you gotta force it, that's not alignment.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Yeah, flow over force. I love that. And it makes me think about you know, I think about moments in my life where there's a knowing. I would call that the flow. Yeah. And that means there's a whole bunch more work that has to happen, right? So flow, I want to name it because I think flow sometimes means the stars align and it's so easy and the path is clear, right? It can't be right, yeah. Flow is I have a deep knowing that this is my truth, and almost like that, like damn it, because now it means I have to do all these things.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:03

Doesn't mean it's deep knowing.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Yeah, I I I love that phrasing of it, deep knowing, because you you do know. You you do know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

It's it's in there. You might not want to hear it. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

We yeah, when you tune in, you you know, you know, you we just resist it sometimes, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Wow. So you've created spaces like your conference that you've mentioned, and you had that. Was that just this month?

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Did you just it was just last last weekend? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

Incredible, so incredible. Shout out to you and your team and those who attended, and that's incredible. So you've created these spaces where women can really feel seen and supported. And so I'm curious what happens, what do you think happens neurologically or emotionally when women are truly witnessed in just your presence or in community, in these workshops? There's something magical that happens when we're seen. And so I'm curious if you can talk about your experience in that and and creating spaces where women are truly seen and witnessed.

SPEAKER_02 26:23

Yeah, it is something powerful about it, the energy that comes from you know being around you know, your peers or your other women that that do make you feel seen, right? And so what I think happens, Tiffany, is we actually for the moment in that conference get to change a thought about our lives, about ourselves, right? Meaning today, somebody told me they believed in me. Some today somebody told me I mattered. Today somebody made me feel like I was seen. And instantly there is something in the brain to me that says, That's a new thought pattern. Let's hold on to it, let's create a new memory from this moment so that we can replace something that was negative in the past. And the goal to me is to hold on to that positive reconditioning, if you will, of your mind as long as you can in the hours that we have you together, and maybe it'll carry over into your week, and you get to practice this thought. I remember when that moment happened at that conference, and I felt this. You start training yourself to keep remembering to do this, to keep feeling this way because you like that feeling. So let's let's practice that feeling. Let's say it daily, you know. I'm after, yeah, you start getting it, and that's what happens when you get together in those types of environments. It's a it's just a great way to recondition your mind from stuff that you've been beat up over or been told the old narratives and scripts.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

It's a positive change and in action, yeah, yeah, in action, yeah. Yeah, I think it makes me just think about, you know, I know women come into these spaces with all types of different backgrounds and obligations and loads and aspirations, and often as women were carrying this kind of caretaker role, you know, and so I imagine how these spaces you're creating where women are witnessed and they're turning all of this immense energy that we give throughout decade after decade after decade to others for a moment get to shine our own magic back on us, you know. Right. What if we were as empathetic with ourselves as we are with other people and compassionate with ourselves and look at people, look at ourselves with the same love that we do other people, and what can grow out of that?

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Right, right. It it for me, it was like, hey, today you chose you by showing up, right? Right, you like you said, it was a room full of caregivers, they were going through seasons as well, their moms, their you know, teachers, that all kinds of walks of life, like you say, and for a moment for the three hours that I had them, you made a conscious decision to choose you, right? You could have been everywhere else to turn off your brain about taking care of someone else and just be in the moment and be present. It is something powerful about it, and we all should do it. You know, you have to do those things for yourself all the time. You just take a moment to just reset, reset.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

Yeah, and so I think about that's a mindset shift, like what you just talked about. Take a moment every day for yourself, right? Means the mindset shift might be I'm worthy, I'm a priority, I'm investing in me, I'm I am part of my caregiving list, right? Right. So I'm curious in the in the conference where you're doing this work, how are people creating these? Is there a tool that people are utilizing to help kind of create these mindset shifts and kind of walk us through that, if you will, or some of the work you do when you're training people and that mindset shift has to come along with it? How do we actually maybe if we're not at a conference? Let me back this up. We're not at your conference because it just happened. We don't know when the next one is, we're we're nowhere near Arkansas. And so how could I do that on my own? How do I begin to do that mindset shift on my own?

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Right. Well, first of all, you there are so many tools out there, right? There are daily affirmations that you you have to you have to do the work, right? You have to go out there, create your affirmations that what you want in your life. So I used to tell myself all the time, I don't like people. I mean, I'm not an introvert and I just do not like people. Well, that's not true. That is not true, right? And I said, if I don't stop saying that, I'm gonna find myself without people. And I love people, so so it's it's it's daily work, and how do you get the tools? Is you have to have the affirmations, you have to take the five minutes, you have to plan it out and say, This is what I'm gonna do for myself, but you actually have to do it. I can write it down all day long. My goals, what I'm gonna do for today. If I actually don't practice them, if I actually don't take the five minutes and say, Thank you, universe, or thank you, God, or whatever. You know, if I don't do those things, I don't shift my mind. I just let the world keep pouring on me and I don't pour into myself. So those are the tools that I can talk about. You just there are books, there are journals. My client in the conference we gave away journals, the SoGirl journal that had daily affirmations that you with a takeaway and action step that you needed to do, right? And so use those tools, go through and do the work. That it's just a lot of information out there in the world that you can just really help yourself reset and practice on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you gotta do it. You gotta do it. Yeah, yeah. That's one of the things I work with people on a lot, because I work with a lot of leaders, is this idea of I don't have time, you know, and I think that's every time we say that, and you're you're speaking to the same thing, is we're recommitting to what we don't want. So every day I'm making a commitment to myself, yeah, that I don't have time for anything else. And so then, you know, those thoughts create our behaviors, and so you know, an emotional state that then drives our behaviors. And so we it's like, are we committing, are our words being used to design what we want versus what we don't want?

SPEAKER_02 33:29

Right. Your brain your brain believes you don't have time, you keep saying it, you don't have time. Yeah, it's so you have to change you you have to change the wording, the narrative of what you tell yourself to fit what you really want for your life. Yeah, you you have to you have to recondition the brain to say, no, I love people.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Yeah, okay, I do. I just want the right ones, I want the exactly I want them in these time frames.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Yeah, with them, but yeah, but I do love people. Yeah, yeah, just in small doses.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

So I'm curious what patterns or stories do you hear over and over again from women, and how do you help them begin to rewrite those reoccurring limiting narratives?

SPEAKER_02 34:20

Well, you know, you so in the training world, it was it the biggest one was I don't have time, or I I I you know I can't make time in my day to come and do this, and or you know, it's hard, or how do I, you know, how am I able to really if I use the fitness thing, how am I how am I gonna come in here and lose all this weight and and do all these things? And I think that for me, I have to show them that it's not the losing of the weight that you're trying to accomplish, it is create a better health, uh lifestyle for yourself, a healthy lifestyle so that you can be better for yourself and for the things that you're designed to do and your purpose. What I hear on my TikToks and what people are saying is, oh, I love what you're saying, but how do I start? You know, how do I do this? How do I become aligned? The very question you ask me. How do I find peace uh in my day? And and so every every example I think typically is different, like every how do I requires different answers. And so it depends on what the scenario is. And fitness, I say, how do you start? You you have to get out of your bed, you have to take 10 steps to your door, you have to get in your car. You know, you have to take actionable steps if you want something different. How do I find peace? Well, hey, let's remove the things that you know, when I say remove, be careful on the wording, but let's learn to pillow with the things that cause you stress. What are those things? Let's look at them, let's write them down. Let's let's figure out what where where does the stress come that's not bringing you peace. You have to take actionable steps, but you have to be honest and evaluate what those things are.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

And whatever the arena, whatever the how do I is, you have to evaluate and take a good look at first. What are those things that are causing you not to be able to move to the better version of yourself? What are they? Honest, honest inventory, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

Honest inventory, which is so vulnerable, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Yeah, that's great. You know, there's all the research out there says us not making the changes in our lives is rarely about a lack of knowledge, right? And so, and yet it's kind of the first thing we claim as like, well, how do I do that? How do I bring more inner peace? I just don't know, right? But we could really, you could probably put 50 bullet points right now on how to do it. So it's rarely a lack of knowledge, and it's also the first place we go to as not knowing, or we purchase the books, we buy the journal, we get the app, we get the running shoes, we buy the night's workout, you know, whatever it is, the meditation pillow, we buy the things, but it's it's this internal dial into this is who I am. I am a person who creates inner peace. You know, does that look like the Dalai Lama? No, because that's all the way over on that spectrum. So that looked like for me on a Monday. What does this mean? Really have these moments of generally we know what to do. Let's do it, let's create measurable steps for us to actually do this in a mindset.

SPEAKER_02 37:54

Measurable steps, yeah, measurable steps. I the whole that's what it's all about for me, right? Measurable steps, meaning, yeah, you can't come to my gym and say I'm gonna use lose 20 pounds in two weeks. You know, unrealistic goals, not measurable, right? Yeah, and when you like you say, you went and bought all the gear and everything, all the fitness stuff, and you're gonna start. No, that that's not realistic in in in life and even in the fitness world, because the first thing you had to do was tell yourself this is what you wanted to do. You had to first tell yourself this, and then you had to just show up. Just show up, just show up. That's the hardest thing. Yeah, that's the hardest thing, and and everything they were doing, just show up and meet the moment of what you want to have have happened in your life, just show up first.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Yeah, show up first, yeah, yeah. And even if it's I think I was just coaching somebody recently, and it was, you know, it was about movement, and they were talking about, well, they wanted one of the action steps was they wanted to do, you know, all this research on this gym versus that gym and that, you know, and all that. And I was like, great. And also, what could you how can you move today? You know, how can you move within the next 24 hours? Like all of those things are great, but it's also sometimes armor the the false feeling of moving forward, but actually not changing anything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:24

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:25

It's just that procrastination looks more productive if I'm researching. Right.

SPEAKER_02 39:31

I'm doing the work.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Yeah, I'm doing the work. Yeah. Look at all this information I'll have, but I still haven't moved it all.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Yeah, you called me five times about when does the class start? And you're not showing up once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm but I'm inquiring and I'm letting you know I'm interested and I'm coming. Yes. I just haven't shown up yet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Yeah. That big vulnerable move of doing it. So we're kind of highlighting this, but I did, you know, I just want to make space for if someone is listening right now and they're like, oh God, that's me. I've been researching gems, or I've have seven journals on inner peace and I have not finished one page. How would you, what would if if you were working with them, if they were like in your conference or they stepped into your gym and you gave them one small, concrete, powerful step to move forward, what would that be?

SPEAKER_02 40:30

So if they if they walked into my gym, I would I would more than likely just say, hey, let's celebrate this win today that you came in the door, right?

unknown 40:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

It would be something small that we would do to just stay active. And then we would talk about was it good, was it bad before they left, right? Did you die? Right? That's the phrase. Did you die? No, you didn't because I'm talking to you right now. So, hey, how about we try it again tomorrow? You know, you don't want to even in the journal, you don't have to finish the journal. Every day I gotta do this, I gotta write in my journal every day, every day, every day. You don't want to do that either, right? That that that becomes work, exactly. So, hey, did you did you take a step out of that journal today? Okay, you didn't? No problem. Tomorrow's a new day. Recommit to the next day and do it. And that's all I'm asking everybody, just take one step at a time. You you'll get to the goal, you'll find that you'll eventually end at the end of your journal, you'll be like, Oh, I remember when I was afraid to do this at the beginning and do the hard work at the beginning, but I just took a little bit at every day, and here I am at the at a major accomplishment. That's all I want on anything I'm doing, my training or the motivation. I just want for that day when I send out my message on the on on social media to embrace that moment, do something about it that moment, and then go about the rest of your day. You can't solve the world problems with one social media feed or one action step. You cannot fight off more than you can chew, and you won't find success in that. And if you know, so I think I'm answering the question, and maybe I'll you know, reel it back a little bit, but I just feel like just one one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, is yeah, but but move, but yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

The Glenn and Doyle, her book, I think it was Love Warrior, where she wrote, she would just ask she was coming out of, she was going into sobriety, and she would just ask herself, what's the next right step? That's it. That's all I need to do is answer what's the next right step to do, the next right thing. And I loved that question. I love that it just boils it down to who am I right now, today? What's my capacity level? What's my goal? I am in choice, I do want to move forward. What's the right thing right now? Right now, right now, today. Yeah, not tomorrow. Today, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. So you were talking a little bit about this kind of future vision of SoGirl, and I'd love to hear a little bit about it. So, what's your bigger vision for SoGirl? And what kind of ripple effect do you hope it creates for the current and next generation of women?

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Yeah. My vision for SoGirl is not just a once-a-year type conference. I really want to get into having smaller sessions more often that allow women to come and rejuvenate themselves, to be reminded of just how powerful they are and how wonderful they are. But I want to do it, you know, over time and just more quarterly. That's the goal. Because I I just think we can't go 365 days and then and think we're gonna just take it all in in that one moment of time, right? And be ready to come for the next year. And we we have to stay reminded. And so that that's my my long-term goal is to provide spaces where we can all come together on a retreat style or what have you, and just be seen again, right? So that's the that's the long-term goal. And I want to, in this next phase of the conference, to incorporate a younger generation, 2030s, my age, I'm 57, that generation of women, and women a little bit older than me, because there are learning environments when we all come together, right? I can learn from the 80-year-old who struggled with being seen in a time, right? And how they came to be and how they found their empowerment. And I can teach a 20-year-old, you know, hey, these are your challenges you're probably gonna face, and this is how you overcome them, and you can be seen, and you can not lose your superpower of being who you are. I want to bring it all together over a course of time here as I grow this old girl.

SPEAKER_03 45:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

Well, I'm excited to see what you do. There's something magnetic about you, and in inspiring about you. And I'm yeah, I just am excited to see what you do with this. I think you're uh building just this beautiful platform that people are clearly drawn to. And yeah, I'm excited to see where you go. So keep us posted on it, Nicole.

SPEAKER_02 45:47

Thank you. Thank you. So girl, I hope to see you soon.

SPEAKER_00 45:53

That's right. I do want to end with um I'm going to your website and you have this, let me get over there so I read it correctly. You have this beautiful thing on here that says repeat this with me. And I don't know if you know it by heart or if I can read it for you, but do you okay let me get back to it because it was changing, but it says let me see I trust myself I honor my boundaries. I am becoming everything I need. And I love that. I love that Nicole I love everything you're doing. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah excellent. All right. And listeners, if you want to again right now So Girl is kind of in person and in Arkansas, it sounds like, but I found Nicole through TikTok. She does this amazing daily offering. And so we'll definitely put those links in the it's a great way to spend your time on TikTok, right? So if if if you are a person who's like I don't have time for self-motivation and yet you find yourself on TikTok, it's a great way to kind of both tune out and tune in at the same time. So we'll put that link in the show notes. Excellent. All right Nicole thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

If confidence has ever felt like something you're waiting for, this is your reminder that alignment is something you can actually create. Confidence is something that we can learn on purpose. So let's build on what Nicole just shared with us and just take a few moments together to really build this in. So let's just start with a breath breathing in and slowly breathing out and you can do that while you drive we're going to tap into some powerful work here. So as always you may want to pause and come back with you and your journal and also if you're driving or on a walk we can absolutely do this work together. I want you to think of a moment real or imagine where you felt a level of confidence of agency not perfection not fearlessness just steady in who you are capable grounded maybe it was a conversation you handled well a decision you made a moment you showed up as someone that you trust let that moment just come to you and here's what's happening in your brain as you do that. We're working with what we call TEB thought emotion behavior and there's a whole episode on that that I'll put in the links in the show notes that you can tap into. It's one of my favorite exercises to do or exercises around the concept and science of TEB your thoughts create your emotion that is the understanding and the science behind TEB thoughts create your emotions and your emotions drive how you show up your behaviors and your actions so let's step back into that moment and build it on purpose. First your thoughts ask yourself what was I believing about myself in the moment maybe it was I can handle this or I know what I'm doing or I don't need to be perfect to be effective let one thought rise to the surface now notice what happens next your emotion when you think that thought what do you feel so if I think I know what I'm doing maybe I feel a sense of calm or confidence or clarity even just a little more grounded let your body feel that so you think the thought notice your emotions what do you feel when you think that thought and now the B of Teb your behavior from that feeling how do you show up if I feel more confident more calm and I have more clarity maybe from that feeling I speak more clearly I make the call I hold the boundary I take the step this is TEB in action let's bring it into the present moment that's really where the beauty is so understanding Teb, excellent. Utilizing TEB, transformational gently shift your posture sit or stand a little taller again depending on what it is you're doing relax your shoulders really bringing them back and away from your ear lobes and your shoulder blades back onto your back lift your gaze so position this body at whatever level your body can do that. And then lift your curiosity if you will what thought do I want to practice right now what thought do I want to transform because the other part of this is true in Teb as well so if I think I'm not good at this I'm not worthy at this I'm bad at keeping boundaries that also creates emotions and feelings and those also drive behaviors. They just probably aren't aligning with what we want so we are always practicing TEB. And again I'm not going to get deep into TEB because I have a whole podcast and we teach it as part of our Empower Coach Training Academy. But that question what do I want to practice right now? What thought do I want to practice reminds us that the entire Teb cycle is within our control. There's a thought and then we ask ourselves does that align with what I want and if not what do I want to practice right now? And we're carefully not getting into toxic posity. It's not just everything's great and everything will turn out there's again a lot of great science behind this that we can cover later or again but thinking really I can do this or whatever thought you want to replace that with choose a thought that feels true enough and strong enough to move you forward. Now notice the feeling it creates and from that feeling what is one small action step you can take confidence isn't something you wait for. It doesn't come at some point in your life it's something you build purposefully it's not going to knock on your door we've all wanted that but we have to build a brain that does the thing we want to do. So one thought one feeling one action at a time your brain is always wiring based on what you practice. So if you want more confidence don't wait for it practice it thought by thought moment by moment build that awareness that Nicole really talked about so much. As we leave I'm going to share one more So Girl reel from TikTok with Nicole enjoy everyone so girl you don't have to wait for the perfect moment to flourish start where you are with what you have your next level isn't waiting on a miracle it's waiting on movement.

SPEAKER_01 54:13

So water was already in your hand so girl bloom right where you are planted.

SPEAKER_00 54:22

Have a good day go follow Nicole on TikTok. You won't regret it. See you next week. Rewired listeners if this episode resonated with you I'd be so honored to stay connected. Follow the podcast at Apple Podcasts Spotify YouTube and iHeartRadio share an episode with someone in your life and leave a five-star review. It helps people access these tools and this work and grow our community. At Empower Coaching and Training we believe that when you understand your brain you gain the power to change your patterns your relationships and your life if you're ready to go deeper you can always learn more about coaching and resources at yesempower.com. And as always listeners notice what you're practicing, what you're returning to and what you are rewiring. Until next time