Ep 38 -The Courage to Be Seen: Healing, Identity & Intentional Living with Mikey Williams

What happens when you stop shrinking yourself to fit expectations… and start living in alignment with your values instead?

In this deeply honest and thought-provoking episode of The Rewired Podcast, Tiffany sits down with Mikey Williams — homeschooling mother of three, wellness advocate, deep thinker, and creator whose powerful TikTok presence has inspired thousands through conversations about healing, conscious parenting, relationships, self-respect, spirituality, and personal transformation.

Together, they explore:
• healing childhood trauma without staying stuck in blame
• breaking generational cycles and redefining family legacy
• conscious parenting and intentional living
• the pressure culture places on women to stay quiet, agreeable, and emotionally responsible for others
• learning to trust your own voice
• how self-worth shapes the standards we allow in relationships
• navigating criticism and hurtful comments online
• and what it really means to live courageously and authentically

Mikey also shares how her TikTok platform began as a deeply personal journaling process in a very public space — and how choosing to speak honestly transformed not only her audience, but herself.

This conversation is vulnerable, empowering, challenging, and deeply human.

If you’ve ever questioned old patterns, struggled to use your voice, or felt the tension between who you were taught to be and who you’re becoming… this episode is for you.

Connect with Mikey Williams:
TikTok: @mkeyjahae

Learn more about Empower Coaching & Training:
Empower Coaching & Training

Listen to more episodes of The Rewired Podcast:
The Rewired Podcast

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Empowered people empower people. Live intentionally. Lead thoughtfully. Grow through awareness.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome to Rewired. I'm your host, Tiffany Grimes, with Empower Coaching and Training. Episode 38, folks. Welcome. I'm so glad you're here. This is Tiffany with Empower Coaching and Training and the Rewired Podcast. And today's guest is Mikey Williams. And I discovered Mikey on TikTok, and almost immediately I found myself stopping, listening, thinking, saving, and honestly feeling challenged in the best way possible. Mikey is a homeschooling mother of three, a wellness advocate, and a deep thinker who speaks openly about conscious living, intentional parenting, healing, relationship, spirituality, family legacy, personal growth, all the things I love. But what struck me most about her wasn't just what she says, it's how courageously and honestly she says it. In this conversation, we explore how her voice was shaped through childhood trauma, a religious upbringing that left little room for curiosity, and her decisions to intentionally break generational cycles rather than unconsciously repeat them. And maybe we insert the word rewire. We talk about what it means to heal without staying stuck in blame, how culture often conditions women to stay quiet, agreeable, and responsible for everyone else's emotions, and how learning to treat yourself well changes the standards you allow in relationships and in life. And if ever there was a moment in time that this is so important to hear, it's now. Mikey also shares something I found incredibly powerful, which is that her TikTok platform is really just this personal journaling process happening in a very public space. We talk about the vulnerability of being seen, the courage it takes to use your voice, and how she navigates criticism and hurtful comments online, as you can imagine, and what she's learned about herself through the process of speaking more boldly and living more aligned. This conversation is thoughtful, honest, challenging, and deeply human. There's a lot of laughter. It's great connecting with Mikey. If you've ever found yourself questioning old patterns, trying to break generational habits, learning how to trust your own voice or navigating the tension between who you were taught to be and who you actually are. I think that this episode is going to resonate with you deeply. So enjoy Mikey Williams. Oh, thank you so much. I am so excited to be a part. I'm so happy you're here and you're joining us from Louisville, Kentucky. That's correct. Excellent. All right. And I shared with our listeners that I found you via my TikTok feed. Some algorithm put us together. And it in so many ways, just what the material that you put on there just spoke to me as a parent, as a coach, as a person coaching and working with people, you know, on their intentional parenting pathway and really intentional human being pathway. I just really resonate with it's like you're pausing. It always feels like to me in your videos, you're like pausing in this day. You know, instead of like prepping and going into a room and writing a script, you're like, it feels like, let me pause, let me take a beat and share with you these insights from my life. And I just love it.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

Yeah. I mean, you put you hit the nail on the head with my intention with my social media. Just I never wanted to be a performative person. It's just taking the stuff that has helped me and trying to help somebody else. So I'm so glad the album dropped it off, linked us so that we can, you know, empower one another, empower others together.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

I love it. Tell me, I I do want to make sure we talk about your TikTok journey, but I want to talk about you. I want so curious about you and them and what you bring forth. And and then and then I want to hear how you got into TikTok and what your experience has been like with that. But let's start with the way that we start every rewired episode, which is what does empowerment mean to you, Mikey, and what feels empowering to you in your life right now?

SPEAKER_00 4:56

So when you sent the list of questions, I get nervous about like being on the spot like with a question. So I really wanted to practice my answer.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

So I love that.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

So for me, empowerment means to just walk in the fullness of who you are, embracing the past, staying hopeful towards the future, but being grounded in the right now. And so that's what empowerment means to me. And what am what is empowering me in this moment? You got it, yeah. You know, having a conversation with myself earlier today or yesterday, I was at the gym and I was just like, you've got to get back to yourself. And so I haven't really been feeling empowered in anything, like just kind of status quo, just kind of uh coasting, if you will. But the fact that I get to talk to myself and have those conversations with myself and get my ass back in shape is like like I can get myself back together. That's what feels empowering to me. I can have those lulls in my life, but then I'm also the one that can motivate me to get back to who I want to be.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

So I love that. Yeah, it makes me think of like you're your your own BFF in terms of like you want to hang out and do nothing and numb out. Great. I'm with you. You want to motivate, you want to get going, you want to get back. I'm with you. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. What feels empowering to me. Yeah, yes. All right. So you, I have watched a lot of your videos uh over my my numbing out TikToking time. And there was one that you kind you said, you know, I was created to shake shit up and I'm cool with it. And I just love that. And so tell us about just that knowing that I think so many folks are, you know, I've heard that called like a disruptor or a, you know, there's all these names that people give, and and we don't move into it. We're not cool with it, you know. We're like, oh God, I don't want to shake shit up. I would prefer it to just settle. And so, what did you have to face in order to become someone who's really fully seen in shaking shit up?

SPEAKER_00 7:14

So, uh Tiffany, I um was raised in the church. I became a minister when I was 22. So I really heavily inundated in the church. And I remember this one specific moment I met with a pastor, and the pastor was is a family member of mine, and she was just tired of my shit. Like she was tired of me. And she just said, Michael, which is my real name, Michael, you are just so difficult. And I said, I'll take it. I will take it because you know, in church and I I guess in society, period, you're just supposed to fall in line, you're supposed to do what you're told to do, you're supposed to comply. But I have never been one to comply. If I see something wrong, and that may be just a little bit of my neurodivergence, if I see something wrong, I've gotta call it out. And I've always called it out, and I've always gotten in trouble for calling it out. But when she called me difficult, I was like, I will take it. I will take it. If that means messing up the systems that are harmful to other people, I will take it. I will be difficult. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Because the opposite of that, I guess as you said it, it made me think the opposite of difficult is easy and easy, easily led, easily directed, easily trained. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Yep. And I saw so many people just miserable throughout their whole life because they're so easygoing. They don't ever stand up, they don't ever, and I was like, Yeah, I'll be difficult. I will be. So I'ma shake shit up everywhere I go.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

So that I'm curious. So you were a pastor, ordained pastor, is that what you said at 22? Okay, a minister at 22. What are you still doing that? What what brought you there? Tell me more about that. I'm so curious. Okay, that's young, right? That's a young age. How much time do you have? Right. We might need two uh interviews.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

So I grew up in the church. Um, my father was a preacher and a pastor, but he was also a drug addict. And so just being all I've been inundated in the church my entire life. I kind of disconnected from my father, and then my aunt and uncle they started the church, and I became a part of that church. I was just looking for identity, not necessarily knowing what I was signing up for when signing up for religious stuff. I had no idea. I just wanted to belong. And so I started really at 16 in the church, being involved in the church. By 22, I was an ordained minister, I was a youth pastor, all of that. And am I still currently in the church? Well, my husband is a pastor, while he's also deconstructing harmful theology. So we're in an odd space, but it is also the most liberating space that we've been in.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Yeah, yeah. You know, it's an odd space, but it also feels like it's a a growing space, you know, where people are really questioning, you know, it's we I mean, again, yeah, we could talk all day, but this idea of how religion and politics are being merged in ways that are, you know, historically we can look back and see how that turned out. I think a lot of people are questioning, okay, what is faith and what is religion and where am I in all of these things? Yeah. Good on you too for doing that work.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

I mean much. It has been a lot, it has unraveled a lot in our lives just because it was built on religious bullshit, you know, it wasn't real, it was people's ideas, people's it just wasn't real and it was harmful in so many ways. So we're in this space of deconstructing.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Yeah. Yeah. And you said something really important, you know, again, you said I was kind of in the church to belong, right? To build this sense of belonging. And from a brain-based standpoint, what we know about that is the sense of belonging is foundation. It's number one, right? Like physically I'm safe. And then second, and built right into that safety is, in fact, I wouldn't even say second, like 1.25 is part of that safety, is I belong to a tribe. I am supported and I'm in community. And if we don't have healthy ways of that being expressed or brought into these tribes, tribal settings, then we create it in unhealthy ways because we have to have it. We have to belong. Yeah. And then to go a to move against that, I think that's so much about the you know, the challenge of change is you're becoming something else that maybe what you are a part of is not. Right. So you're having to leave. You can't really keep one foot in that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

You cannot. You cannot, not as much as much as I would want to, like I've had to, everything has changed. Nothing is the same. Nothing is the same. So yeah. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Yeah, it's big. I mean, I we talk about this in coaching all the time of you know, so often when we think about change, we think about what we are becoming or what we need to start doing. And what you're naming is what the other part of it, and sometimes the initial part of it is what we are unbecoming, what we are no longer doing, saying, believing, and so forth. Yeah. So, I mean, this kind of is what struck me about your content is how grounded and unapologetic you seem in your values. And I'm getting a picture, but I'm curious, have you always been that way? Or was there some part of this where you had to learn how to trust your own voice?

SPEAKER_00 13:42

I want to say, in a sense, I've always been this way. I remember, I remember when I was around four or five. Growing up in my family, you don't go against the father. You do not, you do not disobey your father, no matter how corrupt you do not disobey. And I remember being four or five, and it was time for us to go to church. And I was like, when I I rem I remember it plain as a day. When I when we pulled up to the church, it was this dark. It I felt this dark energy over it, and I did not want to go in. And so I wasn't gonna go in. I wasn't going in. And I ended up getting a spanking, like for not going into the building. And like I knew then, I've I've always been willing to stand my ground, but it was just when push comes to shove. Like it was always the it took me a long time to be comfortable in standing my ground, but now I don't leave this ground. I don't leave it. I love that. That gave me goosebumps as soon as you said it. Ah, I love that. But it took me, it did, it took me leaving my um old church because my greatest fear was no longer belonging. But I knew that if I left this building, if I left this, my commitment to this, then I will no longer belong. So I had to begin to belong to myself first. And I think that was the biggest thing for me that was groundbreaking in being able to be the person that is grounded in standing up for whatever it is, whatever I believe, whatever value is I had to belong to me first. And that didn't happen until I started my deconstruction journey in 2019. And so standing in that fullness didn't happen until then.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Yeah. My deconstruction journey, and you have so many great ways that you frame things. What what I mean, you you name the year, like what how did that begin?

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Okay, so for me, my pretty much my entire life was built on church. So I'm gonna refer back to that often. Okay. Um, but in in 2013 at my church, we had a guest pastor come in and he was a white guy, and his name is Corey Rice. And the moment I met him, I loved him because he was just like unorthodox in his thinking. And thinking while he's up there preaching, like, yeah, this is not right. He is correct, he is correct. And then he came up to me, he came up to me and my husband, and he asked us out to dinner, and then we went, and so we go to dinner, and he we're talking about all kinds of stuff, and he's he said something that rattled my whole life, okay. And he told me that what if he asked me, what if homosexuality is not a sin? I was like, You I would call you a liar, like I would legitimately call you a liar and you're going to hell and you're leading people to hell, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:40

And let me check the rule book here. The rule book says Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

And then he was like, Well, what if you go and study that a little bit more and see what that scripture was actually talking about? And when I just started to pull back the layers of this, my beliefs on homosexuality, it not being a sin, or it the Bible was homosexuality, wasn't even a term in the Bible until this time, and it's you know, it's just not foundational truth. It is somebody's opinion that we've coined as the voice of God, and that's not it. And so, if my belief that I held strong about homosexuality, like I've excommunicated people for being homosexual, you know, if my belief about this being so strong, if that's wrong, what the hell else am I wrong about? Right, and I realized oh, I was so wrong. And so from 2013, I'm so sorry, we went out not in 2013, I got married in 2013, we went out in like 2016. So from 2016 to 2019, I sat in the uncomfortable seat of being in the church and serving in a capacity that I no longer believed in. And then 2019, my husband said, it's time for us to go. We've gotta go. And when we left, we went and started going to church with the guy that we sat down with, Corey Rice. And everything that I had built my belief system on has been, it was shattered. And I I felt, I felt broken, I felt lonely, I felt hopeless. Like I've built my entire life off of this. What am I gonna do now? What am I gonna do now? And it said, okay, build the life you want brick by brick. And that's exactly what we started to do.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Wow, amazing. There's so much there to talk about, but I want to just this moment where you said what and I love, I I follow the same pattern, which is there's some nudging inside of me, and I'm like, you're wrong. This is like if this is you should stop talking. How embarrassing for you, right? It's this external, you're you're questioning something core in me. And so to meet that instead with this curiosity of like, okay, I accept your challenge, I'll go do the research. And I'm bringing my prefrontal cortex into this, not just pattern uh habitual stories and you know, I'm gonna question, which is you know, at the base of faith, that's it, right? It's like what, yeah, what and and that's kind of been taken out of so much that's there. It's just believe unequivocally that what is said is right, and being able to go back and question and be open. It says so much about who you are and how you face life, right? That ability to like, mmm, this could mean something. Let me believe that, let me follow that. So amazing. Yeah, wow. So and that you kept your faith. That's I guess I want to say that before we, and that you kept your faith. It wasn't about like this relationship with your God and like that's solid, right? It's the rule book. What are the what are these rules? Who wrote these rules? Where am I in all of these things? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

Absolutely, because it was I was called difficult in church because I didn't follow the rule book the way it was supposed to be followed. So I'm calling out, you know, I'm just a member, I'm just a leader. You're not supposed to go against what the pastor says. You're not supposed to, I was always in their face. I was always telling them, no, this is dead wrong. You're dead wrong about this. This is you absolutely not. I felt like I was always an advocate for people that were thrown out, people that were disregarded. And it was like, okay, but why does this institution feel comfortable enough to disregard people? Because it's built on systems that are bullshit. It's it's awful. It's awful. And so, like that has been my transition from 2019 really being emboldened and empowered to stand my ground. Like, I'm not leaving this, I'm not, I cannot falter because too many people's lives depend on it.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's love, like that's love. That is love, and that's yeah, that's real, that's worth fighting for.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

You know, yeah. And if we want to be Christ-like, if you know, for the the believers, the Christians, if we want to be Christ-like, that's what Jesus died for. Humanity killed him because he stood up for who he stood up for and he didn't back down. So that's the only way.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Yeah, yeah. Oh, so good. I was just sharing in my last podcast. I listened to Trevor Noah's stand up on Netflix, his latest one. I don't know if you listened to that, but he he talks about there was, you know, it's It's Trevor Noah, so it's like super funny and then deep. You know, you're like, ha ha, crying, laughing, and then you're like crying because he talks about this, he kind of sums it all up. I'll spare all the details, but essentially he's like, you know, we don't fight to fight, we fight to live. And it made me think about what you just said. It's like we're practicing our faith for love, for you know, for each other, for humanity. And yet in these alternative systems, we're drawing boxes and lines and saying not everyone's allowed. Exactly. And somehow that's okay. And it's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

It's awful. It's disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah, yeah. Wow. And well, okay, I have a thousand more questions, but I'm gonna stay focused. I didn't even know we'd go off on this track, but this was this is amazing. And it's the underpinning of all of your work, right? So one of the things you talk about is religion. One of the things you often are the voice for is women. And so I want to talk about that. So, you know, so many women are conditioned to stay quiet, to stay agreeable, to stay small. You were saying, you know, you don't go against the church, you don't go against your father, you don't, right? We're we are trained in these ways, overtly or not. And so I'm curious, when did you start noticing these cultural messages? It sounds like very early through church, and what helped you stop carrying them? And I know we're taught, you know, it feels like we're gonna keep coming back to this deconstruction journey, but what at what point did you put that down? And maybe you never picked it up, Mikey. What I'm picking up, perhaps.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

That that's a loaded question. So, my work for women, I have been a victim of sexual assault on a couple of occasions. My a close family, my mother's boyfriend, sexually assaulted me for two years because I was trained to be a nice girl. So I was trained to comply. I was 12 years old when he began, he was 37, and I knew it was wrong, and not only did I know it was wrong, I told him it was wrong. Wow. It like it was very much so so the grooming process, because I hate I hate the feeling that I get when speaking about it, because in my comments on TikTok, uh, there's been several times where it's like, well, 12 is old enough to say no, you know, is you are still very much responsible for yourself. And these people, I'm glad that they feel that way. The reason that I'm glad that they feel that way is because that just means that they've never experienced it, you know. If you're a way to put it, wow, you can ignorantly when you that's not your lived experience. So I'm glad that that's not their lived experience. But for me, my lived experience was I was groomed from the time I was 10, uh, 11, 11 to 12 when it started happening. So my father was not around, clearly, he was a drug addict, and this guy came in and played the role of a good father, he a stepfather, he I love you, love by all of the things that will disarm you, that will make you trust, that made me trust this person. And then he switched. And because of the switch, my little brain could not process what was happening. And for two years I dealt with this trauma and didn't know what to do with it because I didn't want to deal with the stigma of people saying that it was my fault. Right. I didn't want to he had he made me believe that if I told my mother, I would break her heart because this is the first time she's been happy in her life. And do you really want to be responsible for her being unhappy? So I carried the weight of that and just the grooming process. Like if you've never been through it, you wouldn't know. But if you have, you know how it's like you're choked and you can't do what you need to do. Like, anyway, I forgot your question.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

I will restate it and I want to say thank you for sharing this and for being so brave to continue to share when the comments are that terrible. I have a 12-year-old to say no, to be in charge of an adult, adult's behavior. So I'm so I will rephrase the question or restate it. So it's talking about, you know, kind of the training of women to be quiet. And when you let that go, essentially, when did you decide your voice was worthy of taking up space? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Okay, so that's why I said what I said grooming process where he told me that if I told that I would be responsible for my mother being unhappy, or if I told he would go to prison and you would be responsible, I you would be responsible for me being in prison. And all of these things diminished my experience and put the weight of other people's uh happiness or whatever over mine. And it wasn't until I started therapy in 2020 when I realized I had been carrying and placing the weight of everybody on my shoulders, and I carried it as if it was mine, and I never regarded myself, I did not know how to think of myself to speak. I could speak for other people, that's never been the issue. I could stand up for other people, that's never been the issue, but me, the person, I was last on my list, and because of that, I started to drink, and that is totally out of character for me. I just started numbing and I'm like, what is happening? Who am I? And it's because you don't even know who you are because everybody else is more important. So I started therapy and I got to the root of so many issues that I did not know. So, from you know, 2019 and 2020 were such pivotal years for me because it was the beginning of crumbling who I was in order to become who I knew I needed to be. So, yes, that's what gave me my voice to stand up for myself first, and then for other women who cannot speak up for themselves. I will go toe-to-toe with anyone about a woman that cannot speak up for herself.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Oh, yeah. I mean, and you know, so I kind of naming these things that you talk about on TikTok, you know, women, creating space for women, religion, finding that faith in religion, and childhood trauma is another platform that you speak from and that you share so vulnerably these stories. And I'm curious, kind of weaving all these in together. We know the harmful comments, if we put those over here. I'm imagining you're getting people also so grateful to the space that you hold in this bizarro platform of social media land. But it's healing. So I'm curious if you can speak to, you know, obviously keeping people's stories their own, but just some of the comments and the relationships and the ways that people are responding to you in this healing platform.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

I get so many questions just about how to speak up for yourself, no matter what it is, or uh a lot of people have reached up, reached out about speaking up for their children. I've gotten a lot of questions about how do you, how are you, how can I become more bold to say what I need to say? Yeah, and I my only advice is just say it. Even if your voice trembles as you do it, even if tears fall while you do it, say it. Say it.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Wow. Even if to yourself, you know, even if that voice is only heard by you, starting to say it. Wow, how much time do you spend? I mean, I know the making of the videos, but in terms of like just relationship with people connecting with you, is this a another full-time job along with your children? What what's your engagement like? I'm curious.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

So here lately, it's been it's been a lot more. My engagement has been a lot more than I think I have even bargained for. Um, I've been spending hours on hours on hours with people. I'm on the phone hours, and I've got to learn how to stand on boundaries because I I don't know how to say no to the person that needs the help, you know, that, but geez, Louise, yes, it has been learning. I think women have the the biggest question I've received, and my conversations have been mostly with women, is I know what I need to say, but how do I say it to where they don't get hurt? And if your intentions are pure and if you're not harmful in your delivery, I don't think you can hurt somebody with your experience, with your lived experience, they cannot be harmed by it, you know?

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Yeah, yeah, they're gonna have whatever emotional response they're going to have, but in terms of yeah, actual harm, you speaking your truth is your truth. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's another way the world is calling you. There are literally and figuratively just yeah, your space. People want to be in your space. Be in my space, yeah. Want to be in my space. So, okay, and speaking of people being in your space, another platform that you talk from is conscious parenting. Yes. Little people in your space and breaking these generational patterns. So, what's something you realized that you were going to do different with your children than what was done with you? And obviously, there's some pretty clear ones here, but I'm thinking of maybe some of the ones that aren't so standout-ish.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Yes. So for my family, my brother is a professional, he was a professional ball player. He's now a professional trainer. So he trains for people in the NBA, players in the NBA. And my other brother was very heavy in sports. And pretty much everybody in my family sports basketball. It is that we're a basketball family. And I had a moment back in 20, I can't remember this date, but there was a moment where my brother was speaking very harshly to my son on the basketball court. And you know, that is very normal. That's very normal on the basketball court. So talk shit. Like, and this is not about talking, it's not about trash talking because that's necessary in sports. But it was borderline demeaning how my brother was speaking to my son. And I stepped in and I was like, absolutely not. If you are going to be an example, I need you to be a wholesome example. I don't need you to be his first bully. And I caught a lot of flack for that, you know, in my in my family. Now you're gonna make your son soft. No, I'm going to make him a human being that is capable of caring for other people. So one thing that is it's a small thing is my children are human beings. They're not, they're not test dummies. They're they're to be treated how you would want to be treated. And I think one of the biggest things is I'm not gonna bully my children. I'm not gonna be their first first bully. I'm not gonna criticize them. I grew up with heavy criticism. I'm not gonna be the one. So that's about their body, that's about their talents, that's about the way their mind works. Nothing. This is a bully-free zone.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

Wow, that's deep. I mean, I think, you know, again, I have kids, 12-year-old and a 13-year-old, and you know, you go into the classrooms and it says bully free zone, and you're like, Yeah, or the way I've gone mama bear sometimes on kids saying things to my kids. And yet I think about some of the things that come out of my own mouth sometimes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Yep. Yep. I don't want to be my kids' first bully. Wow. Yeah. I see it so much. I see where parents are so harsh to their children. And it's just like, even if you're joking, that stuff hits it hits their heart, it hits their identity. And then you wonder why they go out and treat people the same way because they're treating them how they're treated.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Right. Yeah. Yeah. We learn. We are, yeah, habitual. Yeah, for sure. Amazing. And so, and then you homeschool these little beings, and that's another platform that you talk about a lot. So, homeschooling can bring a lot of judgment in and of itself, right? And what that means about you or your relationship to the world or what you're trying to, you know, brainwash your kids with or whatever it is, right? So, homeschooling can hold a lot of judgment from others and maybe be a guilt endeavor for some parents as they're doing it. And you certainly do not come from that platform. So, how did you learn to separate the outside opinions from what you knew were truth for you and alignment for you and your family?

SPEAKER_00 36:38

Well, I don't really get too much of outside opinions, I guess, because I'm so opinionated, so people don't bring their opinions to me.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

I really don't care. This does not have a place to land on Mikey. So I'm just not at all.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

I don't think I've heard any ridicule. Wow. I've had some like little micro aggressions where, well, are they getting everything that they need? Like, that's none of your business. Yeah. None of your business if my children are getting everything that they need. I don't have to answer to you, so I'm not answering that question. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

Oh, so good. So good. I would roll into 20 different explanations of the curriculum. Yeah, it's not your business. And really, what a great question for the public school system and for funding around public school. Like, are kids getting everything they need? Let's ask that in a place where we do hold some power, right? Not within each other's families.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Because in Kentucky, the reading level, like the average reading level for the upper level is like fifth grade. Like, wow. Wow. What are we doing? Yeah. And not to come against teachers or anything. Sure. Oh my gosh. Everything. It is, it is everything. Yep. But for me, in my experience, I worked in childcare for 10 years prior to, well, I had kids. And so, yeah, during the beginning phases of raising children, but we're not their bodies, we're not meant to sit for seven hours a day with a 20-minute recess and a 20-minute lunch. That just does not fit the way that our bodies are created. And so you're trying to make their little bodies fit a form that it's not supposed to. Of course, they're going to have problems.

unknown 38:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

And you've got 30 kids in a class. And what's being asked of teachers, yeah, to have so many, you know, they went into it usually. I would for the love of children. And then that's kind of has to be the la I have to teach the to the state exams. I have to manage these behaviors because there's not long enough outlet for it. And yeah, yeah, it's an impossible.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

It seems like an impossible task.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a system that needs reform. And a great place for community members and concerned citizens to go ask, what's going on here? How can I support and get out of each other's families? Yeah. Yes. Exactly.

unknown 39:02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

So let's talk a little bit about your TikTok journey. And what is your, you know, if you'll just explain to the listeners, like what is your platform about? What are you doing on there? What's your goal? You know, just kind of where, where, what brought you here? What are you doing? And where do you want to go?

SPEAKER_00 39:24

So I could not have imagined the amount of success. And by success, I've got I've got 6,000 followers and consistent engagement. So it's not huge, but I, Mikey, could not have even imagined me getting on a phone, pressing record, and packing my thoughts out on camera. I could not. I had such bad insecurities. I never wanted to come off as gimmicky. I never wanted to sell anything on social media. Never. I just never, I don't like people that do that. Like I'm not a fangirl. I'm not a fan of people. Like I don't know anything about what's going on in mainstream. I have no idea because I'm just not that type of person. So I never wanted to be that type of person that wanted the notoriety, the fame. I never wanted any of that. So I began on TikTok because journaling took too long for my life setup. Wow. Three kids, journaling sitting and writing down my thoughts would take 30 minutes versus recording my thoughts is a 30-second thing. And I'm literally, I record it and I post it. I don't edit. I mean, I might cut some things, but I don't edit. I don't do, I take a thought, I record it, and I post it. And I was like, why am I doing that? Why do I post it? Why don't I just make video, just make videos from my phone so that I could go back and watch them if I need to? But then really seeing how videos resonate with people. You got people questioning conscious parenting, and I'm all for it. If we can help to raise a better generation, uh the next generation to be better than we are, I'm all for it. So I was like, let me keep going. Let me let me keep doing it. I'm just gonna keep uploading. But it is my TikTok, it is my personal journal. I might talk to other people, but that is the thoughts that I think for the day.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

That's a really cool way to think about it. Yeah. I imagine it would kind of take the pressure off a little bit of just like this is for me. And if anybody else happens to be listening, that's that's that. Yep. That's exactly what have you learned about yourself through this journaling publicly process.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

I learned that I don't like being misunderstood. You know, with being on social media, you have so many opinions. There's so many opinions of whatever. And I learned that I am combative. I am combative because and I think I'm only combative about the things that matter. Yeah. If you are intentionally misunderstanding something just so that you feel better in operating in your toxicity, I'm coming back at you. Like I'm just not the one that's gonna delete a comment and let it go. No, I'm you're going to at least read what I have to say.

SPEAKER_02 42:30

Wow. Yeah, I love that. I'm combative. And you're holding that. Yeah, I like that. You're shaking shit up, and then you're all right with that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Yeah. I like it.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

So for the person listening right now, especially the woman who knows she's shrinking herself to stay safe or acceptable. What would you want her to know?

SPEAKER_00 42:57

I'm gonna shake shit up. If you're shrinking yourself to stay safe, that's toxic. That is called toxic femininity. And you know, a lot of times we talk about toxic masculinity and how it's puffed up and it's big and it's masculine and it's aggressive. But toxic femininity is just as damaging to yourself and to society because as a woman, we are the creators of the world. And so if we want to see change, we have to be the ones that create it. And you shrinking is doing nothing but perpetuating the toxic masculinity and the patriarchy in our society, and it is not healthy for anyone.

SPEAKER_01 43:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

Again, another phrase I haven't even thought of. Yeah, toxic femininity. You know, you talked about basketball. I'm a big WNBA fan, and I think that's part of the reason I love it is that you know, they do these, you're a basketball family, it sounds like so. You're probably familiar with the WNBA, like, you know, you get to see these strong, amazing, big bodied, or like, you know, even if they're short, which is like five nine, super strong and fit women, just being them, not as part, I mean, they're part of a team, but even with that, with free agency, it's like I am who I am. And I add value because of, you know, my size or my strength or my skill and my talent. But then what I love, and I struggled with it when I first started, you know, kind of watching and getting more into WNBA is that they have the like pregame tunnel, right? So then the women are walking through in these, I mean, full-on heels and foof-doofy little outfits or like super mask outfits, you know, they're but they're very dressed up. And I struggled with the very what we would say is kind of feminine outfits or like the little half shirts and short skirts, because I'm like, oh, I want the strong version of you. And it really, it was this place I had to sit with of like, we are all of this. And then I started really appreciating it. Like, oh, I think that this helps me create the fuller version of these women, you know, who represent all of us as well. Like, there are these versions of me that are so independent and strong and capable. And there are versions of me that are not as developed. And I want to be part of community, and I want to be supported, and I want to be beautiful, and we are all of these things. So if we're only showing a sliver of it on either one of those directions, it's that toxic femininity, and we don't we're cutting ourselves and each other short.

SPEAKER_00 45:58

Yes, absolutely, absolutely, and it's what creates comparison and competition between us. It's all that when we are not secure in the being that we are, of course I gotta be better than you because I'm not good enough by myself. So what you just said was beautiful, Tiffany, about how the ladies, how they dress feminine, but then they go out on the court and they dominate, right? So here recently, there's been a lot of comments in my, there's been a lot of people in my comments calling me sir. And I'm just like, that that insult doesn't hit as hard as you think it does, because I am very much masculine, but very much feminine. I'm masculine enough to get stuff done. I am masculine enough, right, to stand toe-to-toe with you and not back down. But I'm also feminine enough to nurture my family, to raise little beings and be kind and gracious to them, and even be kind and gracious enough to myself as I become the woman that I desire to be. It just just because I'm feminine doesn't mean I'm all soft and gooey. And just because I'm masculine doesn't mean I'm hard as a brick. There is both, and there is a such thing as duality, and we all carry that duality. And that's the issue with the patriarchy, that's the issue with toxic masculinity and femininity. It doesn't allow boys to be feminine, it doesn't allow them to be soft and nurturing, and it doesn't allow girls to be strong and and and boisterous and loud and speak. It's all messed up. And if we can just allow people a safe space to be whomever they are, whoever they are, however they are, then they'll be able to see the yin and the yang, the masculine and the femininity. And the thing is, you know, with religion, we don't want to see it, but God is all all in everything. I couldn't even think of the word. God is everything when when in scripture it says, let us make man in our image. And I think people get caught up in the word man, but if you think about it, it's like let if you think about the woman and how we operate on a 28-day cycle, that's the moon cycle. So in our image, that's the universe. Like a man operates on a 24-hour cycle. That's the sun and the moon rising and setting. Like we're all just interconnected. And if we don't want to see that, then we're gonna continue to perpetuate the cycles that we stay in that are harmful to everyone. No one wins when you've got billionaires that are taking up all the wealth, and you've got people that are starving to death on the streets. No one wins. No one, yes.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

Uh, this is what I'm talking about. You gotta go find Mikey on TikTok. This is what keeps me coming back. I love it. You know, one little comment on what you talked about, the 28-day cycle and in connection with the the moon and male, the 24-hour cycle with the sun and the moon. I love that. I remember when I was pregnant learning that the consistency of amniotic fluid or the makeup of it is the same as the ocean. The same, and I just like, oh my God, we are that, you know, whatever, God, goddess, universal spirit, deity, whatever it is, is within every cell. Every yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:17

Oh every cell, yes, molecular level. Absolutely. And so who are we to disregard someone? Who are we to? Are you serious? They're the same matter that we are.

SPEAKER_02 49:33

Well, this is a beautiful place to close. I just and hopefully open for our listeners to go just follow your personal journey because it really is. It's for you, but it is touching so many people, Mikey, myself included. And I'm just grateful. I'm grateful that you feel moved to share. I'm grateful for the little beings that you're bringing in with such intentionality and love and the way that you believe. Believe in people, believe in your faith, believe in your marriage, believe, you know, just believe. And I love it.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 50:08

Thank you so much. I appreciate the the ask. I appreciate the conversation. You have a beautiful mind. Like, I don't think I've ever felt seen, not necessarily seen, but understood in the way that you're you're able to just regurgitate. And I'm like, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm feeling. So, yes, I appreciate this platform. It was beautiful. Thank you. Oh, that's an honor. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 50:31

All right. Well, we'll talk soon, Mike, or you will talk soon, and I will listen, Mikey. Thanks so much. Rewired listeners, if this episode resonated with you, I'd be so honored to stay connected. Follow the podcast at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and iHeartRadio. Share an episode with someone in your life, and leave a five-star review. It helps people access these tools and this work and grow our community. At Empower Coaching and Training, we believe that when you understand your brain, you gain the power to change your patterns, your relationships, and your life. If you're ready to go deeper, you can always learn more about coaching and resources at yesempower.com.