How to Show Up as a Parent: Anxious Kiddo Edition with Elaine Luna

In this episode, I'm joined by Elaine Luna, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who supports anxious kids and the adults who love them.

Tune in to learn:

• What does it mean to show up as a parent?
• How can you support a kid who is anxious?
• Why might it actually be good for you to take it easy on yourself with parenting?

Want to dive even deeper? You can connect with and/or work with Elaine through:

• Website
• Instagram
• TikTok @ HealingConnectionTherapy

Other resources:

• The 4 Parenting Styles

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Life can sometimes feel like a lot, but you don't have to do it alone. I strongly believe that we're stronger together. Here we're gonna slow down, have real talks, make sense of things together, and explore ways to intentionally grow the life you want. We're going to talk about mental and physical health, relationships, money, work, and community. Welcome to Rooted in Intention with me, Gary Nagomiz. Hi everyone, thank you for tuning in to another episode. And this one we're gonna be talking about parenting and what does it mean to show up for your kiddo? So this episode is gonna be for you if you are already a parent thinking about being a parent, or maybe you're healing your inner child. So I am particularly excited for this episode because as an attachment-based relationship coach, I know how important the early child development stages are. And today we have a guest joining us who is a child and family therapist with Healing Connection Therapy OC. So, Elaine Luna, thank you so much for joining me. To get us started, can you share a little bit about your story and what brought you into the therapy space?

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me, Karina. I'm honored to be in this space with you. So I appreciate you inviting me. Actually, this is kind of like a very interesting start to my journey. So I initially wanted to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to um remove tumor, so I wanted to be in the oncology department. And so I was researching it, and then I realized that schooling was going to be a little bit too long for me and that I wouldn't have the patience to continue. Uh so my aunt actually gifted me with this book. Um, I think it was called something along the lines of like the book of knowledge. And then um I was looking through it, and one of the sections in there was like marriage and family therapy. And then I looked at it and I was like, oh, I think I want to do this. And so, so as a background, my parents got divorced when I was around six. And so seeing that kind of sparked something in me. And I'm like, you know what? I think I want to do this and I want to be able to support other kiddos who are going through just family conflict and divorce. And so that's what initially got me into the field. And I haven't regretted any any piece of it, and I'm very excited that I chose this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

I wonder, I mean, you shared obviously having gone through living with parents that divorced, I'm sure that those things like continue to impact you as you grow up. And I know for myself, my parents stayed together, but I do wonder, and I did hope sometimes that they would have actually separated. I don't think they had the skill set to be together. And I think it actually made a lot of family dynamics really difficult. But at this point, I'm at an age where I have a lot of friends at different stages, some already with kids, some who are recent parents, and some who are thinking about being parents. And I think one of the top things that comes up are different parenting styles. And there's so many parenting books out there. I'm curious, as a therapist, are there particular books that you have found helpful that really support your work or parents that you work with?

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Yeah, one that immediately comes to mind is The Parenting Map by Dr. Shafali. Um, so that book brings up a very interesting concept on becoming a parent. I I love that you said, you know, you have a lot of friends who are either thinking about becoming parents and they're not parents yet, but it comes from that lens of before you even become a parent. So the very first portion of it is talking about how, as parents, or when before becoming parents, we already have this ideology or like a perspective on how we can we should raise a child or how our children should behave, or you know, things or certain expectations that we might have. But that one, um, that book gives an example about becoming parents is very similar to when there's um a script written for a movie and the person has this vision for the movie and for the characters, and so they go through everything, but once they start to do like auditions and they start to have people coming in, then they have to make adjustments because their vision might not be 100% exactly how they envisioned it. So it's the same thing with parents and how we have this vision of like, hey, I'm gonna be this kind of parent and my kid's gonna be this kind of kid. So a lot of the times the frustration that I notice too with parents is that they're still holding on to this vision. And so that can become a big obstacle. And so yeah, I I love this book because it talks a lot about that and how it's important to let go of that vision and rewrite a completely new one as you go, because it's it's it's not beneficial to just stick to that exact script that you had initially.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

So I'm wondering because you were already a therapist, you were already working with kids and with your parents before becoming a parent yourself, what were some of those things where you're just like you felt prepared, you had your own vision of what it was going to look like to be a parent. How did that change once you did become a parent?

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Uh significantly by a lot. So before it was just the working knowledge that I had about, hey, this is these are like the parenting styles and how you can kind of adjust how you react and those kind of things. And I think one of the parts that I didn't tend to focus on as much because I wasn't a parent myself was the fact that inevitably kiddos will trigger parents, not on purpose, of course, but just things come up inevitably. And so, yeah, I think that was my mindset before becoming a parent. Then it shifted that lens, you know, with the knowledge that I already had, but then more of that, I get it, lens.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

Yeah, I watched a comedian recently talk about the concept of becoming a parent. And one of the things that she was sharing was, oh, I've been going to therapy, been doing a lot of healing. And I feel like once I do have kids, it's just gonna be that other angle of ways that I'm gonna be triggered and things that are gonna be stirred that I'm still going to have to address. And I think, I don't know, that's what came to mind as you were sharing that. So yeah, um, with the parents or the kids that you work with, because you focus so much on anxiety, would you be able to share a little bit of what are usually the things that come up that get people to come to you?

SPEAKER_00 7:32

So a lot of it is parents not knowing how to help their kid. That's one of the main things. Like, hey, my kid is struggling with all these ruminations and negative thoughts that they don't know what to do with, or their kids are avoiding certain situations, or like I've had a few kiddos who are very fearful of specific scenarios where they're enduring them with like the most intense fear and like they're just having meltdowns, and then parents not knowing how to react and what to do during those moments. So I think that's the biggest piece because when I do my consultation calls, a lot of the parents are like, hey, I want some guidance or I need some guidance. Like, this is what my kid is going through. And yeah, so a lot of it is working with them and guiding them on how to support their child. So yeah, that's what I've been noticing a lot.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

So in this, in those spaces, because I don't I don't have kids, I don't know what that even looks like. Do you usually have sessions with both the parent and the child together or sometimes separately or a mix of both?

SPEAKER_00 8:36

A mix of both. I've found that it's very helpful, and especially with the littles, um, because I work with children ages four through 12. And so when they're a little bit younger, I do recommend more combined sessions with parents. Um, and when they're a little bit older, maybe like around six, that's when I meet with them for a little bit. And then I have parents join in halfway through the session, and then I just kind of review what we went over, like certain skills and how they can then reinforce the skills. And then there might be, again, depending on what they're bringing in and the severity of what they need help with, then I oftentimes also recommend joint family sessions so that I'm teaching the parents skills right then and there. And I'm doing a lot of like try saying this or try, you know, fixing your posture in like a different way, or try leveling down to the you know, eye level and you know, that that kind of thing. So, like a lot of coaching, I would say, on like how to react, how to respond.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

I'm seeing a little bit of that parallel of even working with folks that are trying to show up better within their relationships. And part of that is also coaching, like a lot of skills. And you mentioned a little bit of how you talk about the body language or how to communicate things differently. What are some of the other skills that you commonly see? Like, I wish everyone just knew a little bit more of this, and I think we would be better off for that.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, that's a very good question. I think being able to recognize when the parent is triggered and what they need to do to self-regulate before they even go into how do I react, what do I say, what do I do? They need to be more mindful of taking care of their own whatever might be coming up for them, their own triggers, their own inner dialogue. I think that's one of the main things. And when when I see a lot of parents who are maybe not as aware of how they might be triggered, I oftentimes I even just have a session with them and have a conversation on like, hey, what are your specific triggers? What's coming up for you? And then we go in that angle. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Yeah. I feel like that makes a lot of sense because as much as mental health is more mainstream now and we've been learning more about like emotions and feelings. I think the reality is a lot of people who are adults right now are parents, weren't necessarily immersed in all of that learning around feelings and emotions and how much influence it plays into when you are activated, you aren't in your like full thinking, conscious self and you're more than anything reacting and how that shows up for the kids. And I'm wondering if that is something that you see plays a major role in the relationship that kids have with anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Yeah, absolutely. If a parent isn't as aware or they might not have the skill set, then the kids are it just takes a little bit longer for them to catch on to some of the like the phrasing and the yeah, with the emotions or just using positive affirmations, for example. Um, like I again, a lot of the time like parents are coming to me because they really need the guidance. They're not really sure how to implement a lot of these skills. And so oftentimes when we're practicing in session, the kids and the parents are like, this feels kind of weird, like we've never done this before. But we just, you know, I emphasize that repetition and like, yes, it's gonna feel different at first, but the more that you do it, the better it'll feel.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

And when you're saying feeling, are you talking about anxiety specifically or any item in which either the kid or the parent or maybe both are feeling activated?

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Yeah, when they're both feeling activated and yes, more specifically anxiety because kids feed off of, you know, their parents' nervous system. And so sometimes most of the time, actually, parents aren't aware that they might be feeling anxious too, or that they're kind of feeding into some of the anxiety that their kiddo is struggling with. Can you share a little bit more about that? Yeah, so I have noticed that if kiddos are experiencing a lot of struggles with fears or with some negative thoughts that they're distraught by, then I do also notice that parents are anxious themselves. And so I am very gentle with letting the parent know, hey, you know, this is what I'm noticing. So a lot of what I do in the beginning of my work with families is just um psychoeducation on nervous system. And so then that makes it a little bit easier for the parents to understand, oh, so nervous system is very important. Like it really does play a crucial role in uh feeling calmer and being able to cope with certain stressors that come up. And so when I bring up to parents that I'm noticing some anxious behaviors from them and anxious thoughts, then they're a little bit more open in terms of, oh, okay, I see how my nervous system is affecting their nervous system as well. And then when parents are more aware of that, I notice that their kid improves even quicker.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

I think that makes sense because we spend so much time with our parents. Like they are modeling how to show up, how to think about things. So once they're able to be like, oh, I didn't realize this was anxiety, and be mindful of that. And like you said, that psychoeducation piece of knowing about the nervous system, being like, okay, what can I do in this moment to attend to myself so I could then attend to my child as well.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Yeah, 100%. It's so important.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

And when you work with kiddos, I'm imagining the psychoeducation piece, there's some relevance, some importance to that, but it's probably gonna look a little bit different than when you're in the room with a grown-up. What are some of the things that you commonly work with with kids that are experiencing quite a bit of anxiety?

SPEAKER_00 14:44

I definitely see a lot of avoidance behaviors, also a lot of like restlessness and having a hard time with that. And a lot of kids not having that body awareness. And of course, everyone is wired differently, and some kiddos might have a little bit more than others, but having that body awareness is very important when it comes to regulating their nervous system because then it helps them recognize when to apply the skills. So, yeah, I do notice a lot of that as an increased trend that not a lot of the kiddos or even the adults have that awareness of how the emotions are felt in the body and how to recognize when they're when you know anxiety is kicking in.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Yeah, because I I don't think people realize that it's a skill set if you haven't grown up being like, oh, this is how how it feels, and then being able to, I think not just feel it in the body, but then being able to name it as well. Because then you're just like, oh, I've experienced this before. And then you start building that little model of like, oh, this is what I did before. So maybe this is what I could do next time or in this moment. And I think that's so helpful. And I think that's one of the maybe misconceptions that I've learned, not just with the relationship coaching, but even throughout my own healing journey of how much of emotional and mental health revolves around skills, and it's buildable, it's something that people can learn. One of my biggest takeaways around healing is yes, there is oftentimes an important piece of doing like, um, how would I how would I put this? This probably applies more for adults, but like going into the to the past and and talking about traumas, but like that important core of the healing is learning skills, like learning vocabulary around emotions and being like, oh, that body awareness piece that you were talking about. And I'm curious if you've done any of your own healing journey and kind of what that process has looked like for you, and because you bring in these different perspectives as a therapist, as someone that works with kiddos, and kind of a little bit of what you shared within your your own story of the dynamics with your own parents.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Yeah, I have been on a very long healing journey. I've been in therapy since the divorce, actually. I was um, we were court-ordered, and then from there I started seeing multiple therapists. And then I think I started a little bit more um, I would say more intentional healing when I was doing my internship to get my hours for my licensure. And yeah, I discovered that I just a lot of things were coming up for me and that a lot of like what you said, it's not just talking about past traumas and not learning anything. Like you actually have to learn and apply and make mistakes along the way and then get the hang of it. But recently I also started EMDR, and because I was noticing that I was still having because I was doing more talk therapy, more solution focused, and um I noticed that a lot of again, that body awareness, a lot of just past experiences were still stuck. And so that's when I went into then EMDR and I've been doing that for less than a year, and yeah, it's been very, very effective and so helpful with having more of that body lens. Yeah, it's it's been great. But yes, I have been in therapy for like 15, 20 years, maybe. Um, yeah, I've been in therapy for a very long time. And um, so I 100% know what it's like to be on the other, on the other side of the couch. And I find that that's been very helpful when clients, especially when they're coming in and they're a little bit hesitant about therapy, I self-disclose, hey, I I know I get it. Like I know exactly what it's like because I've done this for a very long time. Yeah, and I've noticed that it really helps clients like, okay, like you're not just a therapist, it's different when you know that you've experienced being a client too.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Would you say most adults that come to you come to you in terms of parenting, and then you guys start talking about different things, or do you also have sessions exclusively with adults for therapy?

SPEAKER_00 19:13

So both. I do a lot of work with families when it comes to the parenting aspect, and then I also do work with individuals for anxiety, OCD, and trauma. Okay, so you have you have a larger scope books that you work with.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Okay. So I also have a public health background. I really have dabled in so many things, partially because of the public health background, but my brain oftentimes thinks about obviously when an issue is already at hand, you want to be able to navigate that. And it's kind of what we've been talking about with anxiety. Like people come to you, they notice that some issues have been coming up, having difficulty navigating it. And I think there's also that important piece of prevention. And I'm curious if there are things that you've seen that you think parents can, it might be out of complete control to prevent someone from developing, experiencing anxiety. But what are some things that parents can do to lessen the likelihood that a kiddo ends up experiencing intense anxiety?

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Wow, that's a very good question. I've never thought of that. Okay. Um like you said, it's very difficult to really control that aspect with the preventing, especially when it comes to anxiety, because it can be very, it can be very situational. And it can also be environ environmental. And so I think the biggest thing would be for parents to um, and I get that it's very difficult to be aware all the time. Oftentimes, as humans, it kind of takes something big to then realize, oh, I need to do something about it. So um I think once you recognize that something is affecting you, either as a parent or as a family or child parent relationship, then I think it's important to act as soon as possible. Because then I think that's where the preventive part comes in and not just waiting for things to keep piling up and piling up. So I think that's the most important. And just as soon as you recognize it, like, okay, this seems kind of off, or I'm not sure if this is impacting me or if this is impacting my child, well, yeah, it's important to check with a professional and tease that out a little bit more. Because um, I have had a few parents here and there who are like, hey, my, you know, everything has been great and my kid just had this one off moment, but I I just want to make sure that everything's okay, or um, you know, if there's anything more significant that we need to be looking into. So then then we sometimes just use like the intake or that and addressing that piece. And if I do recommend therapy, then yeah, then it might be more preventive because I have had. Some parents that are like, hey, my kid is doing well, otherwise, it's just like this one thing. And so yeah, I love preventive work.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Yeah. And I imagine you're very thoughtful of that in your own parenting with your kiddo, of things that you're hoping to foster with them, like, oh, I really hope that they continue to carry this into adulthood. And I'm curious if you can share a little bit about that. I know you've you've talked quite a bit about the kind of releasing this concept or releasing this idea of like what parenting is going to look like. And maybe the better question is what are some guiding principles that you have for yourself when you're showing up for your own kid that has been influenced by the combination of your expertise and what you've seen in your sessions?

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Yeah. So my kids, uh, I think when my firstborn was able to talk and understand, I actually got him like a little chart with the feelings. And then we I noticed that we would just go through them. And so then he understood the concept of emotions and like expressing them and everything. So I do the same. I have two boys. I do the same with both of them. And I noticed that they're just very open and very expressive. And so I think that's one of the biggest ones that I hope that they can just carry on into their adulthood and just being aware of themselves and how they might affect other people. So that portion, and then also because as humans and as parents, obviously we're not perfect. And so the other part that I find myself emphasizing with them a lot is that whenever I maybe do something or say something that's hurt them, I apologize and I check in with them. Hey, you're allowed to be mad. Like you can be mad at me for as long as you need to. It's okay. Let me know, you know, how you're feeling. And um, and I just kind of go through, hey, I maybe I was hungry at the time. You know, I just kind of tell them, I give them like a little, a little breakdown of like, okay, I think I was very sleepy, very hungry, and I reacted in a way that wasn't appropriate. And so I give them that kind of explanation while allowing them to just be because they're allowed to, they're allowed to feel the whole emotion. And yeah, so they know that they know that they can feel whatever way that they want to, and that regardless of me having a certain reaction, I love to emphasize with them that I love them when I'm calm, I love them when I'm angry, I love them when I'm sad, I love them when I'm sleepy, when I'm hangry, like I love them at all times. It's just that we just we're allowed to have reactions and nobody's perfect. So, like all those little things I really uh hold on to and hopefully they hold on to as well.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Yeah. That's beautiful because you're really just narrating your experience and like reinforcing that idea of like, hey, everyone's gonna have these emotions. It's okay to have them. And I think the piece to what you were saying of maybe not even having that pressure on yourself to show up perfectly because you do have that ability to even create like a model of how you can show up when you do do a mistake or when you do show up in a manner where maybe wasn't the most ideal. And I think that's so important even in adult relationships as as well. I think it's something where unfortunately many of us like didn't have that model to us of what does it look like to go back and say sorry and have that accountability? And depending on what family you grew up with and what conflict looked like in those situations, if you didn't see that model to you, then you're not gonna know how to show up as an adult. Absolutely. And I'm wondering a little bit about your thoughts on parenting styles. Is that something that you're familiar with and would be able to share a little bit more about?

SPEAKER_00 26:06

I am familiar with the parenting styles. There's four different types. I think it's like permissive, authoritative, authoritarian, and then I'm blanking out on one of them. So I think it can be beneficial to be aware of the parenting style that you were brought up with, and then once you're a parent, um, of the parenting style that you might tend to fall into, because I think similar to attachment styles, you can also change your parenting style. So if you're catching yourself being too permissive, for example, or you know, you can kind of have a little bit of a combination of what works for your child, because again, going back to the um idea of like you already kind of have this vision, you can go based off of what benefits your child and what benefits your whole family unit. And then it's a whole other conversation when each parent has a different style. And that's also another thing that I like to emphasize with parents is that oftentimes we even have like a full-on session about just being on the same page and bringing their ideas together because that's that's a huge part. Like a lot of parents just clash on that, then it's inconsistent and then that's not beneficial, then you're not really going anywhere. And so that's another important part. So yeah, once you're aware of your parenting style and then bringing in some of the ideas on discipline or expectations or like certain triggers that you have, then you can kind of bring that together so that it works for everyone.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Yeah. Oh, that's one of the things we we haven't talked about, what that co-parenting can look like. And you just spoke to one of the difficulties is if each parent is showing up differently with the kid, how that might cause some confusion. And I just pulled up the four different parenting styles, and yeah, you got three of them: the authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. Oh, yes, uninvolved.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Would you be able to give a little high-level summary of each one by any chance? If I'm remembering correctly, um, uninvolved is very much in the name. So, and then I think authoritarian is one that is wanting to just kind of place all of their ideologies into the child. Like there's no room for the child to contribute, it's not very collaborative. And I think authoritative is one where there is more collaboration. Um, it's more like a middle ground, and then permissive is more yes, you're present, but you're just kind of willy-nilly like letting things happen and you're not as involved. I hope I didn't butcher any of those.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

We'll put a link in the show notes so people could cross-reference things afterwards. It's interesting because I think there's probably so many parallels with attachment styles in the different parenting styles. Because as you were talking about the uninvolved, I think what comes up is just avoidance and avoidance of one's feelings, just sometimes for a lack of awareness, right? Lack of knowledge, lack of that muscle, that skill set. And then in terms of permissive, I think what really comes to mind is the lack of boundaries that are sometimes seen within different attachment styles as well. And yeah, authoritative and authoritarian. Those seem almost so closely related. I forgot which was which, but one of them, and you you could let me know, but it seemed like one of them was almost like not allowing the child to have their own identity. Whereas in the other one, you were talking about that that collaborative piece of like honoring that this kid is is their own human being and they're gonna have opinions even when they are small and being able to have that collaborative approach.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Yeah, so yeah, authoritarian is more like parent-led, and there's no like room for the child collaborating or being their own person.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Would you say going back to when you see difficulties with parents showing up differently, is it usually because they fall under one of these different parenting styles, whereas the other one has a different parenting style? Or is it really just that lack of communication of being very intentional of how we're gonna be showing up as parents for our kids?

SPEAKER_00 30:50

So I see multiple things. So I definitely see the parenting styles and how they might differ, but then I also see the other side where maybe one parent is for therapy and then another parent is not, like they absolutely are against it. So that can be challenging, but I do like to build that relationship with the parent who might need a little bit more of warming up to the idea of therapy. But yeah, that's a big challenge for sure when both parents are on completely different pages about helping their child. And like I've had parents where they're maybe thinking like, nothing's wrong with my child and they don't need any support. And then another parent is on the complete other side of like, hey, yeah, we do need support. We can do work together, but it just is a little bit more challenging in terms of consistency at home and being on the same page as a family. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

That's interesting that you would have one parent being like, I think our kid needs some support and we need some support. And you could have another parent being like, No, they're fine, everything's okay. What are some of the things that sometimes one parent is like, these are some issues that at the same time another parent could be like, no, I think those are normal.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

For example, like if a child has a hard time concentrating and they're really struggling in school, and then maybe one of the parents is undiagnosed ADHD, or they also struggled with in school, or it's a lot more of what's triggering them and maybe what they've experienced. That's kind of what I've noticed. Oh, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

So it's a little bit of I've had these difficulties and it was normal for me, and thus it's normal. But the other parent be like, I haven't had these difficulties. I I think they could actually need some support.

unknown 32:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Yeah. That's interesting because yeah, so much at play of what we consider normal. So when you have another person come in and be like, oh no, like there's another way of being, there's another way of existing. And then it's that learning opportunity for the other parent of like, oh, maybe I didn't have to struggle, or if they're still struggling with that thing, of just like maybe I can actually do things differently now and experience life differently now, especially for someone that might have ADHD, not realizing that it was something that they can get support with, especially now where there's a lot more information out there about ADHD and supporting folks with the diagnosis.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

So one of my last questions is what have I not asked you that you think is important for parents or people that are considering being parents in the future? What's something that you really want them to take away from today's episode?

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Be very easy on yourself. Nurture your inner child, and it's okay. You're only human and you will figure it out as you go. Um, I honestly think that having like preparation with like a self-help book or parenting books, I'm not saying that they're not beneficial because they are, but I think that no amount of parenting books can fully prepare you for the experience of parenting. You just kind of live it and it's different for everyone. And yeah, just be very compassionate with yourself at all times.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

I love that. And I think I don't know why my brain was making this connection, but as you were talking about parenting books and you really emphasize this like you can't ever fully be prepared. And the conversation that we were having of sometimes how a parent's own anxiety might be showing up and contributing to a kiddo's anxiety. And it just made me think of how maybe even seeing an attempt to over-prepare for parenting and going into all the parenting books might even be a time to step back and be like, huh, is this being driven by some anxiety of being a parent?

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think too that goes to show just how much they care. Yeah. And like, I think you're doing a lot of the preparation because you really care and you you want to be the best parent that you possibly can, but do be open to the messiness. I think that's another one that I love to emphasize with parents is that it's it's messy and it's chaotic, and that's part of it.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Yeah. As you say that, I could see that how that again shows up not just for the parent, like allow yourself to be messy because then if you allow yourself to be messy, you're gonna allow your child to be messy with their messy emotions. And my brain's making all the connections from the things that we talked about. So thank you so much, Aline, for sharing that. I think that's so helpful to what you're saying, healing your own inner child, but then also being able to show that and model that to your own kid as they're living their own childhood as well. So thank you for joining me today. And for folks that might be in Orange County in California, how can they connect with you and work with you?

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Yeah, so you can connect with me via Instagram at Healing Connection Therapy OC. And then on TikTok, it's Healing Connection Therapy. I also have my website at www.healing connection therapy.net. There you can see all the services, individual therapy, family therapy, uh, parenting, child therapy. And I do have an anxiety journal coming up for moms. So if you'd like to be added to the wait list, you can go to my link in bio on Instagram and add yourself there for the wait list.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

I love a good journal, and all those links will be included in the show notes as well. And for folks, if you haven't left a review, go ahead and leave a review. Let us know what you thought of the episode, and thank you for tuning in. Bye. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Rooted in Intention. Until next time, and remember to keep showing up for the life, relationships, and community you want. Now go.