Copy And

5. Why Your Offer Isn’t Selling: Signs You’re Too Close to Your Messaging

• Sam Burmeister | Conversion Copywriter @ Nomad Copy • Episode 5

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If your offer isn’t selling the way you expected, your messaging may be working against you. In this episode of Copy And, I’m breaking down the subtle clarity gaps that show up when you’ve been too deep in your own copy for too long. You’ll learn the most common signs that you’ve lost the plot on your core message (like rambling pitches and endless tweaks) and simple ways to step back and regain clarity. Clear copy beats clever copy every time.

Key points covered in this episode: 

  • Why offers stop selling with messy messaging
  • Four signs you’re too close to your own copy
  • The 80/8 rule for simplifying your messaging
  • How to use the sticky note test to pressure-test clarity

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with me:

Nomad Copy Services → sales pages, emails, websites, and more.

Get on my calendar → if you’d like me to write your sales copy for you!

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Watch episodes with subtitles on my YouTube

Nomad Copy Agency writes copy that CONVERTS for service-based businesses. Inquire about done-for-you services here.

Hello and welcome to episode five of Copy and the marketing podcast, where online service providers like you learn how to write copy that sounds like them, but converts better. You already know me. My name's Sam Burmeister and. I am your guide on this copy adventure. We have spoken already about nailing your messaging and who you're speaking to. We've talked about sales psychology, and before we dig into some of the sexier stuff, like how to write sales pages that actually convert, we are going to spend today talking about why your offer isn't selling and the piece of your messaging that you're probably missing as a result. So first things first. Um, we're gonna talk about how you can know if you are too close to your own message. As entrepreneurs, we have blind spots. Most of us work alone in our living rooms. And without those sounding board of the outside world and having constant stimuli reflected back at us, we get into our own heads. It's just part of life. So. I'm gonna walk through how to know if you're too close to your messaging, some tips that you can take to take a step back and get an outside perspective on it, whether it be actually outside or simply from yourself. And then we'll talk about the best way to get better messaging in the future. Let's dig in. As a reminder, I am a copywriter. My experience is mostly in sales, but I have to understand messaging to be able to sell because the message is like communication. There's a giver and a receiver, and the giver of that communication can give a message, but it means nothing. If the receiver isn't understanding it, if that message doesn't go out the same way that it goes in. So if you're too close to your messaging, you're probably doing one of four things. One, you're probably talking to yourself and not your audience. And if this sounds like you, then you need to go back and listen to episode three on sales psychology, where we talk about the value of positive psychology as well as mirroring so that you can learn how to talk. About yourself, the way that your clients talk about you. But if you're talking to yourself and not your audience, what's likely happening is that you are using language that you understand and not language that they understand. The second thing that might be happening there is that it might be language that you assume they care about, but they don't. So ultimately, you wanna gut check your messaging and make sure that it answers. Why does this matter? So that was thing one. You're talking to yourself and not your audience. Thing two, you're emotionally attached to every single word that you write. You have a clever thought and you put it on a page, and you put it in your email, and you put it on your sales page. And if I as a copywriter or your copy coach were to come in and say, it's clever, but we don't need it, would you be bad? Be honest, would you be mad because I write clever stuff all the time and I'm mad at myself when I have to delete it. So you may be too emotionally attached to every word that you write, even if those words aren't converting you like them, even if other people aren't giving you money about them. Third thing is that you can't explain what you do without rambling. If your elevator pitch turns into, well, too bad this elevator wasn't in a skyscraper, you're way too close to your messaging. You need to be able to, as a business owner, explain what you do concisely and in a way that feels potent for the listener. This is an example of clear over, clever, and certainly clear over complex. Okay. Fourth thing, you are potentially editing your sales page for the 84th time. If you are editing your sales page for the 84th time, baby girl, you're too close to your messaging. So four worry, four signs that you are too close to your messaging. You're talking to yourself. You are using you language. The thing that you are an expert in. You are so full of jargon, too close to your message. Second, you're emotionally attached to every word. You're too close to it. You're emotionally attached. Third, you are rambling. You have so much to say that you can't say it clearly, which means that it's probably a sign that you're super, super smart and you're super, super good at what you do, but you are absolutely too close to your messaging. And finally, if you're making a zillion at it. It's not perfectionism. It's procrastination. Got a facelift. You are tweaking instead of launching, you are tweaking instead of actually selling, and that is not what we need. This is probably a symptom of crappy, not crappy, just you being too close to the messaging. So here's how to fix it. Of course I'm gonna say this because this is what I do, darling. This is what I live for, to quote Silla from The Little Mermaid. But first thing to do is get a fresh set of eyes. Get my eyes on your copy. One way you can do that is by becoming a member of Copy on Demand. However, bad news, sad news, keep an eye out in December, but copy on Demand is currently closed. So how do you get my eyes on your copy? One, reach out. Reach out and see what the best way is to get my eyes on your copy. We could potentially even have a copy chat if that's what ends up being necessary, but I can often, in a matter of seconds, catch the things that you've been looking at for years. A second thing that you can do, go back and revisit what your audience actually says. I'm sure you have lots and lots of client research, both potential clients, current clients, past current clients, onboarding and offboarding surveys. Go back and look at what people actually say about you. One of my favorite tips within this is to ask chat, GPT. Take all of the things that your clients have said to you, dump'em into chat and have it synthesize that information for you. Ditch the jargon and use the words that your people are actually saying. Another tip that I just absolutely love, love, love, is to use the 80 and eight rule. Now, not everybody knows an 80-year-old and an 8-year-old. However, if you did, or if you do take your sales page and put it in front of them for just a short while, I'm saying 30 seconds or less, ask them to then repeat back to you what you do or what you're selling. If it is not immediately clear to them who you serve and how, then you are likely too close to your messaging, and your best option here is to revisit your copy and rewrite your copy according to a message that feels super, super clear. Fourth way that you can fix your copy, um, and fix your unclear messaging is to use what's called the sticky note test. This is where you write your offers core message on a sticky note and give it to someone else. Again, perhaps an 80 and 8-year-old, an 80 or 8-year-old. Perhaps it's your spouse, perhaps it's somebody that you work adjacent to. Hand it to them and ask them if they get it. When you write that core message down, is it clear to a stranger? Because just because somebody is looking for what you have and becomes a client, doesn't mean that they're that different from somebody off the street or somebody else who lives in your house. If they don't get it, you need to fix it. Ultimately, at the end of the day, I work with people on their messaging and their copy. This is something that I can help you with in the best way for me to help, is for you to get on my calendar. Of course, the link to this is going to be in the show note. However, if it's something that you wanna chat further about, you know, you can always find me on Instagram at nomad dot copy. You can also find me on LinkedIn at Samantha Burmeister, a thousand percent. This is gonna be in the show notes below, and I answer all of my own emails because I'm just a girl. I'm just a copywriter, so if you do have questions, reach out and it will be me who responds. In our next episode, we are finally getting to the good stuff, unless you thought the rest of this was the good stuff, which I sure did. Uh, we are talking about sales page basics. Next week we're gonna talk over the next month of how about how to. Write an incredible sales page, one that uses everything we've already talked about, that being messaging, sales, psychology, talking to your people, the way that they talk to you, and defining that ideal audience and their transformation. This is the good stuff. If you've listened to the last four episodes, then you already are a better copywriter than 80% of the people in the marketing world. Over the course of the next month, we're gonna talk about sales pages and how you can sell the heck out of your offers. But until then, my name is Sam. Be sure to follow along and if you like me, be sure to like and subscribe below. Of course, you know that getting ratings and subscribers is the best way to support me for free. This has been copy and I hope that you now understand copy and messaging and are ready to go write copy. That sounds like you. But converts better. Okay.