The Missional Agent Memo #31 - You Can Stop Working…and Still Never Rest

Burnout doesn't always come from working too much, and a vacation doesn't always bring rest. Having experienced both firsthand, Chris shares what changed the way he thinks about slowing down and explains why lasting rest has more to do with your relationships than your location.

Transcript

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Issue number 31 of the Missional Agent Memo. You can stop working and still never rest. You can stop working and still not rest. I know because I tried. Eight years ago, I crashed into a wall. Not physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally. From the outside, you would have said that my life looked great. And honestly, it did. Had a beautiful wife, two amazing kids, meaningful work, a little money in the bank, and plenty of reasons to be grateful. But on the inside, I was coming apart of the seams. So one morning my wife came downstairs and found me lying on the couch, shaking and crying, convinced that the weight of the world was going to crush me. I thought I needed to quit my job at the time. I was a pastor at a church. It was part of the problem, but it wasn't the problem. What I actually needed was help. So I stepped away from work for six weeks to figure things out. I began meeting with a counselor, and at his direction, nearly every day I would walk beside the Finley River. I read, I prayed, I wrote, I was determined to heal, to get better. About two weeks into my sabbatical, I proudly told my counselor everything I was doing to get better. He listened for a moment and asked, Chris, how many days are you reading books on growth and trauma? Every day, I said, I don't want to waste a single day getting better. I remember what he said eight years ago, like it was yesterday. He said, Chris, for healing and growth to happen, you're going to have to stop working on yourself so much. It's like every day you plant a seed in the ground and then you dig it back up to see if it's growing. You have to give what you're learning space to grow. You see, my productivity had stopped, but my striving had not. Even with six weeks off. A couple of years later, I learned a second lesson about rest. My family and I were in Colorado, one of my favorite places in the world, mountains, cool air, Lake Dillon, trout streams. It's one of the places where my soul comes alive. So I was sitting on the back porch overlooking the lake when I realized I was still all wound up and anxious inside. I wasn't resting. My body was on vacation, but my mind was still solving problems, planning, strategizing, carrying tomorrow before tomorrow had even arrived. I had driven 800 flipping miles to my favorite place in the world to finally get some much needed rest, but I had brought my restless soul with me. Sitting there, I remember the invitation of Jesus that I had read a thousand times before. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Not come to a place, not quit working. Come to me, a person. That's when something finally clicked. Rest isn't a place, it's a relationship with God, with yourself, with the people you love. You know, I've spent a lot of time chasing what I thought would give me more rest. Have more, make more, go on more vacations, just get through to the next season. But the deepest rest I've ever experienced wasn't found on a vacation or taking a day off. It was found in becoming fully present to God, to myself, and to the people I love. So maybe the next time you find yourself saying, I just need a vacation, you might be right. But maybe you need something deeper. Maybe what your soul is really longing for isn't another destination. Maybe it's reconnection with God, with yourself, and with the people you love. True rest is not found in changing your location, it's found in deepening your relationships in your corner, crest.