Episode 29: For You All-A Real Live DEEP Body Reflection Resolved

The body is always speaking to you. And your genitals are no different.

You can use any points of soreness or tension or resistance in the genitals as a guide to what’s going on with you emotionally at that time.

In this episode, we give a real-life example of how to use what’s going on in the bedroom to quickly heal the body.

We talk about:

•  Tension, soreness and discomfort in the cervical region and what it was trying to tell Sara
•  A simple process to start to decode what’s really going on with your emotions
•  Emotionally rebalancing fast
•  Boom – pain be gone!

We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on 

info@thebone-zone.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the Bone Zone. I'm Sarah.

SPEAKER_02 0:05

And I'm Richard.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

And in this podcast, we excavate sex and relationship myths and uncover the truth of how it all really works. We bridge the esoteric and practical worlds to bring you grounded, sage, and tangible advice and tools, whether you're looking to attract a soulmate relationship or grow and expand within an existing one.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Hello and welcome back to another scintillating episode of The Bonzo.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

I think your voice is getting sexier, darling.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Thank you. Now I'm going to make a conscious effort. No, right.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Now you're going in the card.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Good hard now. Yeah, good morning, good evening, and all that shit.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Um and all that jazz.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

And all that jazz. Yes. So basically this week is kind of a continuation of last week. We noticed that the ironically, for a sex and intimacy podcast, the numbers of downloads for our last one, the three hours.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

No, no, no, that wasn't our last one, that was our one before last one.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

The one before was the lowest number of downloads. So we thought that we would uh talk about it again this podcast. And and so if you are afraid of this material or you think it's too interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Well you didn't you didn't say what which what the title of the least downloaded one was, did you?

SPEAKER_02 1:41

The three hour sex session. Oh, did you say that? The three hour sex date, yes. Well, I th I think it's important to be in your face and to tell any potential listeners what we're talking about. After all, we are sort of burying our fucking soul and our sex lives.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

I do know at least uh at least one person who reached out to tell me she had listened to it, mostly because she said she was confused by the whole concept, uh, which turned out to be like more around what the fuck do you do for three hours if you'll pardon the pun.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Okay, listen, just for the record, what do we do? It's not uh just listen to the a three-hour pump, just in a nutshell, and go back and listen to it. It is a time for also reflection to talk and to do other stuff. Okay. And something did happen on our last sex date. I think I'm and this also ties into the last episode of Reflections. A sex reflection.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Sex flex sex flexion.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

No, no, don't even try and do that thing you normally do to fuse two words together.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Okay, let's let's just crack on. So the story we're gonna talk about today was something that came up during our three-hour sex date, which is another reason to do them because they are the absolute best time to bring things to the fore.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

For those of you who think there's never anything to bring up, think again. Yeah. There is always something.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

There is always a new level.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

So I feel like we've been quite open about the different types of orgasms. If you are interested in the different types of female orgasms, please do feel free to go back and listen to the episode with Jake Kelly on that. I will be talking today about the cervical orgasm, otherwise known as the Holy Grail of Orgasms, for its transformative effects, healing effects, being one with God, source, the universe, whatever terminology used to describe that, it is um let's call it uh the peak, the peak of orgasms. Now, it is one that I have not been able to get to yet. And on Sunday, Richard had said, okay, let's focus on your cervix today, with some of the techniques that can bring about a cervical orgasm. Now, this is not just my experience, but in my conversations with other women, I think it's a fairly common thing. The cervix can feel very tender, very sore, very like you know, when you massage something that just feels tight and stiff and you're almost recoiling whilst you're having the massage. Such was my experience a few days ago when we were exploring that area. Now it's not always like that, so sometimes it is the complete opposite, and I have no issues at all with tension, tightness, soreness, tenderness, none of that. And other times it is uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Also, she moves. She does sometimes she runs away from me. She does. I promise you, I promise you, she's like, Where the fuck are you? Oh, I'm over here, right back there. Oh, okay. No, seriously, I'm not joking. Well, I am joking, but I'm not joking.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

No, I mean like this is a true story. This actually happens. So, similarly, as sometimes when you're uncomfortable, you'll recoil from like if you're being massage, it's the same thing. My cervix literally is like, I'm not having any of this.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Yeah, and then she runs away, and then she runs away.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Yes, so I was aware that this was going on. It started with it feeling very uh tender and a bit sore, FYI, a lot of tension and emotions and trauma is stored in the yoni in general, and the cervix is a big part of that as well. So it's quite normal that you will feel like that if you're storing emotions and you haven't quite got around to processing them yet, and also trauma. Yes, I think I've said that trauma as well. And the philosophies that I've heard so far on reaching cervical orgasm, I have found unhelpful. The practical techniques are helpful because practically you need to do certain things for it to happen, and obviously that's useful information to know. But with any of these deeper orgasms, it is far from the whole story. They have a major energetic component in order for them to be able to happen. So, whether we're talking about G Spot or cervical orgasms, and the energetic component that is often talked about that will enable you to have cervical orgasm is to quote unquote let go. I'm kind of rolling my eyes right now because it's always been for me the most unclear instruction ever like let go and just be. I'm like, what the hell does that fucking mean?

SPEAKER_02 8:04

That's why when I say it Sarah chases me round the house with a bow. Oh my knife. Like she hates it. This is just I say it even more. Because it triggers her. And then I say it even more. Triggered.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

No. No, not bothered now.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

Um, just one thing I need to add is all of this it's all very well having great orgasms when you're on a certain substance because you feel your in this inhibitions are gone and everything else. Um it's not the same when you're sober and you really have to deal. And not masking anything over with substances or alcohol or weed or mushrooms or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

I don't think that cervical orgasms are possible on a substance.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

No, I would have to disagree with you. But anyway, let's just I'm just saying we did this sober.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yes, but also I would argue that I don't think you could have a cervical orgasm on a substance because of the very strong energetic component. However, I could always put it on the side.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Let's just have an argument about it for the next half hour.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

We'll come back to that.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

So, in terms of the energetic component, the cervix is intricately connected to the heart, and therefore, for the cervical orgasm to occur, your heart needs to be open. Therein lies big problem number one: how many women have completely open hearts? A very small proportion because of trauma, disappointment, problems with the masculine, you know, fill in the blank. It's quite normal over the course of a lifetime of experience for your heart to start to shut down. Now, actually, this is shut down, no, but is is it more close?

SPEAKER_02 9:59

I think it's sorry, close closed down.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Yeah. Um, which is actually very counterproductive. You think it's protecting you, but it's actually doing the opposite. But like all things that we learn to do as a protective mechanism, it's not as easy as, oh right, you've told me to let go now. Great, I'll just open up my heart and everything will be fine.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Nah.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

It's a little bit more nuanced than that, hence some of my bugbears with the spiritual world and this kind of nonsense language that really doesn't tell you very well how to do anything.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Let go.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

So I knew that something was going on. Now, this the method I'm about to go into is a foundation of the foundation of starting to decode a body reflection. Now, what is a body reflection? The body is literally reflecting a thought or emotion going on, which is why we should always pay attention to what's happening in the body. And what is happening in your genitals is no different. So, the function of the cervix, I started there, and I said to Richard, Richard, what is the function of the cervix?

SPEAKER_02 11:24

And he said to me is to hold your unborn baby inside of you until she is ready to give birth. That's that's not what I said. I always do that, didn't I?

SPEAKER_01 11:41

First of all, this is the container this okay. This is not Richard outing a pregnancy on here. I am not pregnant, people. Um just saying. So that's the more general interpretation I took from what he said, and I was like, ah, okay, I am feeling soreness and tension keeping things in, and I was like, ooh, what do I feel like I'm holding inside? And then I and this is how reflections work. It's it's very much like a jigsaw puzzle, which is why I like it, because I like this kind of logical jigsaw puzzle, and once you add in intuition as well, it becomes even more exciting. But even without intuition, it's a fun logical jigsaw puzzle. So I was like, but okay, I have this information. Where have I been feeling like I'm holding stuff in and it's sore or uncomfortable for me? I then clocked a conversation I'd had with um a fascinating woman the day before this sex session, who is just very political, very outward there with her let's say, are they controversial views?

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Controversial A lot of people would find them controversial.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Controversial views I think she's a fucking legend. She is a fucking legend. Um, but anyway, she's very out there on uh Instagram and TikTok about her controversial political views. And she knows she's gonna get pushback from that because she often does. Yes. We live in a polarized w world. If you're going to take that stance, you know you're gonna get pushback. But she does it anyway, she puts herself out there, and I respect that. I respect that with anyone that puts out controversial views and is like, agree with me, disagree with me.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

It's not just a controversial view, she's telling her truth as well, and that's only perceived as controversial because uh most of us follow the stupid fucking narratives that has been fed to us.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Okay, yes, but for the average person, she would come across as controversial. Absolutely. For us, we're like, yeah, this just seems like we've heard this stuff, but like we're talking about average person, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

So I have this level of respect for people that do that, and it was interesting because I was talking to her um about this podcast and um kind of integrating it into the work I do with executive coaching, and I was like, no, I must keep them separate. And she I must keep them separate. Okay, and she was like, is that because you don't want like execs hearing you talk about orgasms? And I kind of was like, no. Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, uh, I don't want them to. I don't want them to be able to do that. It'd be a bit weird.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

One of your clients coming, you know, and you're doing a professional uh executive coaching session, and um, you know, them starting to say, Oh, it's interesting news about your cervix. That'd be just fucking weird. But this is what we're talking about. This is what, like, you know what? We're here to teach shit.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Yes, there actually will be some sort of uh integration that starts to happen eventually. That's a story for another time, but coming back to decoding what was going on in the body here. I was feeling like because I am not at that level of putting shit out there and not giving a fuck what people think, i.e. being like, I don't care if my clients know about my orgasms, who cares? Um, because I'm not at that level of not giving a fuck, I was like giving myself a hard time, so it was almost painful for me because I was feeling like I was hiding parts of myself that are authentic to me because I was afraid how people would perceive me and being judged, and being judged, and I will I'm gonna say quite openly, I am very judgy of other people.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Yes, you are. I think the phrase is a judgy old bag, what I call you that's your phrase. That's my phrase, yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

So that was that was for me, I was like, ooh, okay, that's kind of hit on the thing here.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Now the honor Did you remember what I told you afterwards? Sorry to interrupt.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

You said it was uh uh painful to keep it all in, but at the same time it's painful to let it all out, just as painful.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Exactly, yes. So either way, it's painful, and you may think, oh well, the only resolu you may think from listening to this, oh well, the resolution is just to put it all out there. The answer actually lies in how you perceive it. Now, what I mean by that is I could look at it as an all or nothing thing. I either put out everything about who I am all the time, or it's nothing, like it doesn't matter, right? So unless I put everything out there, it doesn't matter, it's relevant, it's nothing, right? Which is the stance I was coming from. But a perception shift away from it's all or nothing to every little bit is putting stuff out there.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Well, look at what we're doing now. You're talking about yourself expression.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

No, no, no, no, let me finish. Okay, sorry. So shifting that perception to I do little things every day to put myself out there authentically, even when it's uncomfortable, because a little bit of discomfort is probably the line you want to walk on. This is slightly uncomfortable, you know. I'm talking about my cervix. Um so the the discomfort is there, and as I've alluded to, I think it was a few episodes ago, uh a sabcicle that I've taken has led to all of these intuitive downloads for new and uncomfortable projects for me to start to put out there, which I won't go into further detail on now. But that also is an example of me taking steps to put myself out there in a new way that is slightly uncomfortable for me, yeah. As is just saying to someone sometimes, I don't agree with you, or um, I don't like that you said this particular thing, or whatever it is. So when I shifted my perception to actually I'm already doing this, that's what starts to shift the body reflection. You don't need to go the whole hog to right. I'm gonna go onto Instagram and tell everyone what I think about everything, which believe me at this point would be quite a lot that probably people would think is on the controversial side. So watch this space as I unfold over the coming years. Um and you can apply this to different areas of life. So an example I'm not sure whether we gave this example last week about buying a car, did we?

SPEAKER_02 20:23

Except I've forgotten about it. No, we did not. Okay, no.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

So another example of all or nothing thinking is I've promised myself I'm going to buy a car in cash this year. So the deal is I'm gonna buy it with money that I have, but it comes to time to buy the car and I just don't have the cash. And the deal is not to buy it on credit, it must be with cash. Now, I could get there, and this would lead to a whole emotional reflection thing where I'm like, oh god, I'm gonna put this off because I don't have the cash, because I'm in all or nothing thinking. However, even if I've been putting 10 euros a week in a jar towards buying that car, that is still something.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

You are honouring a commitment you made to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Exactly. And this all or nothing thinking or black and white thinking gets a lot of people. And so when you have a reflection and you realise okay, I'm being led to do more of this, whatever it is, whether it's buying a car or being more of yourself out in the world, remember little things every day add up and still work towards you keeping that commitment to do whatever it is that you feel called to do.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

And also keeping your in. Emotions in check as well.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

No, I don't like to say keep your emotions in check.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Keep your emotions balanced or neutral. Yes. Not in check. Okay, pardon me. Um, also you avoid situations like uh being overly critical of yourself. Oh, I'm not good enough, I haven't done this yet, why haven't I done this? And all of this train of thought.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

It stops comparison items.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

It stops comparison. It literally doing these small little things every day, don't put time limits on things, do something reasonable and do the micro moments surrounding that.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

I'm gonna buy a car next year, and next year rolls around, yeah, and you for whatever reason don't have the cash to buy the car. As long as you've been saving up towards buying the car, you are still keeping that commitment to yourself because the brain likes to work in always, right? You always do this or you never do this. All you need to do to break the thinking pattern is to prove to yourself it's not always so it's not always the case that I never speak my mind, for example. It's not always the case that I hide hide my orgasms from everyone. I don't know. I'm sure you're not gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

It's not always the case I'm hiding my orgasms from people.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

I'm sure you all know more about my orgasms than you would ever need to know.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Um well, listen, it's it's not about your orgasm, it's about what surrounds it. Correct. And it's it's just hopefully that other women out there might resonate with hey, I'm going through that, or I've had this, and then maybe gets the ball rolling for them to start thinking and maybe talking about it, and you know. Well I don't know how many people talk to to their partners about stuff like this. I I'm I'm intuitively I'm gonna say not that many, but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

I mean, you know, the Yoni is a treasure trove of information, and even without Richard's input, I could I could have worked out what the function of the cervix is and gone off and done some reflection. And honestly, it doesn't take that long. You just need to recognise something is off in the body and get curious about what else is going on in my life that could link into this, and then what the fucking amazing part of this is like whatever is going on in the body, it just releases. I mean, I'm not talking about really chronic stuff like cancer, I'm not saying you're gonna reverse cancer overnight, but more mild tensions and strains.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Absolutely. And uh yes, we spend the latter part of a I can't remember how long it was, an intentional three-hour sex date talking for an hour and a bit about the reflection. So I find these moments precious. I never knew they existed. I never knew you could do this kind of work together as a couple, and uh, we want to impart this what we we're learning, which because we haven't learnt it yet. We are still learning, we are a work in progress. This is why we come up with this stuff every week as it happens and kind of ad lib. So well done to you for for you're quite good at uh decoding reflections, actually. You have a kind of a natural uh gift there.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

It is one of my soul loves. I don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Did you really have to say it in that stupid voice?

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Yeah, I did have to say it in that.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

I'm gonna leave that in the edit just so people can hear how silly you are.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Yeah, um, but it's for me like the link into uh relationships, yes, but the link in with sex and intimacy is very, very interesting.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

Yes, yes it is. Um yeah, it's it's very interesting. It's like uh with uh maybe this is a different podcast, and now I'm feeling a slight bit of discomfort in actually approaching this subject.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Which topic?

SPEAKER_02 26:47

Well uh take aside all the the sex parties, the drug-fueled blah, which is all fake, because that's the part of my life I thought I was some kind of alien-powered sex warrior. And I fell very heavily to earth uh when I stopped doing all those uh activities, and I felt like a bit of fish out of the water. I felt for a time I was the world's worst lover. Did you? For a little bit when?

SPEAKER_01 27:21

When did you think that? Um, this is actually even news to me, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Well, you know, there's been ups and downs, and w what was really going on is just I always wanted to feel desired by a woman. Okay, like there's the real desire, like you see, and I it's really stupid. I say this, like sometimes you see portrayed in movies, like a your partner looks at you and she just wants to eat you up. And and I've discovered that I don't desire myself very much. I'm not talking about kissing myself in the mirror and shit like that, but I'm talking about how I uh view myself, I'm kind of in an image kind of sense. Um, do I have unconditional love for myself? Do I I was asking all these questions, and I kind of discovered that the more that I love myself unconditionally, the more I put myself first, the more I appreciate myself, the more desire I get from other people, and in particular in Sarah's case, it's kind of sexual desire.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

But also, you know, with the people around you, people will come and talk to you more, they'll come and uh smile at you more, they will Well actually the uh the guy that runs our local gym who just turned 36 said to Richard on his birthday, uh you're an inspiration for what I want to look like when I'm 55. Yeah, that was which I thought was blew me away, actually. Which I thought was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

And this guy's been training me.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

He's uh he's definitely like So I'm well on the way, but I I discovered really uh when you took away all the drugs and everything else, I done never felt desired by any woman, and Sarah included. And it wasn't because Sarah doesn't desire me, it's because I simply don't desire myself enough, or I don't feel that I'm or haven't felt in the past that I'm good enough. And so I've been working on that reflection for myself and it's been quite interesting.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

I just thought I'd add that in. You know, I mean I don't have a cervix so I can't talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

That's probably a whole separate podcast episode in itself, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

What? What what I just said. Well, maybe we'll go into that. Um show you my vulnerable side. Anyway, I think that Um pretty much covered it, are you? Unless you would like to add something.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

No, I think uh that's enough sharing from me today.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Yeah, well, good job. Being in your little bit of discomfort.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Yes, that's my uh thing for today done. Well actually my second thing for today. The first thing today was one of my new projects. I'm like literally like seed dropping all over the place at the moment. Okay, anyway, thanks for listening, everyone. Thank you very much and see you next time.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

Okay, then, and for all cervical issues, please refer to info at the bone hyphenzone.com.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

We'd like to thank you for tuning in and listening to this episode today. If you like what you heard, I invite you to follow our show. And if you really liked our show, head over and leave a review on your podcast app of choice. We also want to hear your thoughts and questions. So, if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on the email below. Thank you for listening, and until next time.