Episode 33: Men, Can You Still Be a Sex Warrior In Your 50s?

It’s not just women that are subject to the “age” programming that is so prevalent in society.

Today’s episode is courtesy of a listener’s friend who is adamant that men in their 50s have low sex drive!

As we’ve talked about before, just because something is normalised, doesn’t mean that it’s the truth. Your thought patterns affect your physiology and your actions.
You don’t need to accept decline and taking Viagra, as just part and parcel of being older.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  Richard’s body journey and how he is the fittest he has ever been in his mid-50s.
•  Inspiring stories of couples having hours of sex in their 50s and 60s after decades of bad sex
•  Yes, it does take work and effort!
•  The emotional root cause of needing to take Viagra.

We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on

 info@thebone-zone.com 
And if you want to check out Sara’s solo podcast, The Mind Body Spirit Accelerator – where she gives you simple neuroscience-based tips (that actually work) to create the life you want, you can check it out on:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033kZ5sPIbZkkQe6j6xJkH?si=99231cc2e65c4d8a 

or

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mind-body-spirit-accelerator/id1896793868

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome to the Bone Zone. I'm Sarah.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

And I'm Richard.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

And in this podcast, we excavate sex and relationship myths and uncover the truth of how it all really works. We bridge the esoteric and practical worlds to bring you grounded, sage, and tangible advice and tools, whether you're looking to attract a soulmate relationship or grow and expand within an existing one.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Hello.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Hello.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

How is everybody?

SPEAKER_02 0:41

Great.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Welcome to another episode 30. I don't know, 33 of the bone zone.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Yes, this is another re-record.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Yes, we have decided against now to do videos because I just can't be bothered, it's too complicated.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Well, it's not that, it's just the sound quality and all of that jazz.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Yes, and all of that jazz. So we will continue on uh audio, but Sarah will be absolutely killing it with her podcasts um with video.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Yes, so for any of you that well, I interrupt everything anyway, but well you're doing it on your own, you it's fine. Anyone who likes the dulcet tones of my voice, I have brought out the Mind Body Spirit Accelerator podcast. For those of you who have decided that life is a bit sucky in one or more areas of life, and you're looking for a way to bring more joy, fulfilment, and satisfaction to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

FYO, she takes away all the fluff, all the woo-woo, all the new age bollocks that sometimes uh accompanies, well actually always accompanies uh these kind of subjects. Yes. And she boils it down to golden nuggets of fucking wisdom.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Oh, thanks, babe. Links in the show notes.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Yes, links in the show notes. If you know what's good for you and you want to venture out into something a bit different, we question everything. She questions everything. So go and check it out.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

And in other news, we now have the Bone Zone podcast on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Oh yeah, we do, yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

We um what's the Instagram handle for it?

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Oh fuck knows. Um it's let me just check.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Okay, so carry on, Sarah, whilst I just have set up a new Instagram channel for the Bone Zone, so feel free to follow us, and you will also have the option to sign up to our membership list because we are gonna start doing monthly live QA's based around a topic of interest, but feel free to come along and ask anything around intuition, relationships, etc.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Yeah, I fucking hate Instagram so much.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

That's the spirit, dear.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Yes, the bone zone podcast is the handle on the Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

It's got I don't know. Then there's podcast the bone zone.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

That's the actual handle. I don't know. I don't know. I just don't give a fuck. The handle is at the podcast bone zone. Okay, on with the show.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

You introduce because I'm gonna try and speak since it concerns me.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Yeah, I'm I'm actually going to No, you're not. You're not stay quiet.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

No, you're not, you're gonna interrupt, and that's absolutely fine because you do kind of tell to tend to bring me back on track and also have.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Okay, let's let's get on with this. Okay, so this all started because a friend reached out to us and said, My friend has come to the conclusion that men over 50 are not interested in sex anymore. And she can't be swayed from this viewpoint, it's her experience. And also, there's this comedian who I think must be in his 50s, and his whole take on it is lady, leave me alone after after four minutes of sex, I'm done. Um, and then of course, you've got the whole thing of okay, you've got older men that have lots of sex, but they're on Viagra, which obviously, you know, if it's stimulated by drugs, it's not real libido. And the fact is that if you're having erectile dysfunction, there is something emotional or psychological going on there. Anyway, the key point is, and the key question is is it all downhill for men after the age of 50? Which is why Richard is going to be it's gonna be doing most of the talking.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Good luck, Richard. Uh the answer is no. Thank you all for coming, and I'll catch you on the next one. The I actually answered, said friend. Um, you probably listened to this. Shout out uh to you for bringing this up. Um, no, well, for me, in any case, and and I can only speak for myself, the answer is a resounding no. I have more stamina now that I'm nearly 56 than I have ever had in my entire life in terms of uh endurance and going the distance and all that other stuff that um men in their fifties, according to my research and to my observations, um could they kind of think the opposite.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Yes, and let's clarify he's talking about physically and sexually as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

And also I guess mentally.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Mentally, yes. I mean if we if we snapshot back to you 15 to 20 years ago, you were just not I mean, actually even ten years ago, um, you were just not interested in in working out all the gym or anything really.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

No, I was uh I was the guy who basically paid for gym membership for the pleasure of walking past said gym every day to work and every day going back home from work. Yes, I was more interested in um uh partying and doing drugs and ecstasy, and uh um which was at a time where I thought I was God's gift to sex and the greatest lover on earth. Um, yeah, yeah, that's true. No, I didn't know him at that time, so I was laughing at him saying that. Yeah, but it's all it's all kind of junk food sex, uh it's all fake. Yes, you can go a long time with all sorts of different drugs, and also I used to used to do Viagra just for a laugh to see how long I could have a hard-on for, and it's all rubbish because when you stop, when the party stops and the music stops, um you haven't got a chair to sit on. Well, I think you can say it's not real stamina, it's not real stamina, it's all artificial, it's like taking steroids in the gym to pump yourself up, and then the day you stop um taking all these protein shakes and everything else, and stop at the gym, you just become a fat bastard, basically. So it's kind of like that, and it took for me, and then obviously, then I opened up um uh a yoga retreat in the Spanish mountains, and uh I was smoking a lot of weed, and uh it took basically a severe back injury, which uh was a long time coming, it was years of uh abuse probably and doing the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Sorry, I think it it's worth saying that when I met Richard, which just goes to show that the decision to go out with him and stay with him was intuitive because my logical mind couldn't really countenance this at the time, but he he's all my like anyway, yeah. But when um uh when I met Richard, he said to me his perfect day was just watching TV.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

While smoking loads of weed.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

While smoking loads of weed, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

I was that sad, ladies and gentlemen.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

Well, no, I think that was the weed talking when you were saying that.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Yeah, but it's a pretty sad existence.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

I see your dad now just watching TV all day and on his tablet, and I think, my god, that could have been me with the weed, and uh and I feel thank god that I changed my life around. Anyway, back on topic. I got to a point I can't remember now when it was four years ago, where I had a nearly ruptured disc. And for those of you who don't know, a nearly ruptured disc, well, if it does rupture, then you're talking about spinal fusion, you're talking about being uncomfortable for the rest of your life. I know potentially wheelchairs, potentially wheelchairs, depending on the extent of the injury and the nerves and stuff like that. But I knew a couple of people had this done and it's not good, you know. The guy said I can't have really, I can't have sex anymore. And here I was with this lovely woman, Sarah, 13 years younger than me, and I thought to myself, Holy shit, things have to change. And long story short, I kind of went through months of rehabilitation. I did not go for surgery, I did not go and see a doctor, I did it all by myself. Well, with the aid of with the aid of a genius chiropractor who wasn't really a chiropractor, but I don't know. This guy was just gifted in in what he did for me.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Which I still to this day don't know what that is.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Yeah, no, definitely, like certain people in in fields like that. I mean, for example, uh acupuncturists, they're just particularly special in the world.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

They're particularly special. The the way they do things with intention is second to none. So I got back on my feet and I was naked one day, and I looked at myself in the mirror, and I was literally disgusted at what I saw. I was felt like I was just simply withering away, looking a bit gaunt. This was after I uh managed to get up off the bed after all three weeks of lying in bed and uh not even getting up for a shower, and I said, That's it, something clicked in me. And the double click actually was I that very same day, or the day after I got out of bed and I went, I sit with the weed. I stopped there and then and never looked back and never missed it. Something clicked in me, and I started working out with uh five kilogram weights.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

I think actually it's worth stopping on that point. So actually, people think that giving up things like that are very difficult, and they certainly can be, depending on the level of the addiction. But when you're let's say aligned and you're you've had a realization that stopping is easy, and I actually use the example of my cousin who used to I'm like that she could drink like big time. She stopped uh she stopped drinking alcohol, I think it is about two or three years ago now. And I talked to her one day, I said, you know, what what was it like? And she said, Once I became the person that didn't drink, i.e., and what she was saying is once my identity was I just don't do this, it's not who I am. She said stopping was actually just a natural side effect of that.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

A natural side effect is a very good way of putting it. I just had the aha moment. It just was something I clung on to, you know. I gave up drugs, I gave up the parties, I gave up. This was the thing I was clinging on to still, convincing myself that I needed it to sleep well.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Oh, yeah, you did say that.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Yeah, I convinced myself, and then one day it literally was the aha moment. That's it, I'm done. Um, and this led me to start working on myself, and my inspiration for this was all through my life, you know, the sort of male figures in my life, it could be my grandfather, or actually, my grandfather, not so much. My dad, and other men who I've got to know in my life were saying, you know, well, wait until you hit this age, it's all downhill.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

From there good, everyone goes into the city. Everyone goes on in the prostate prostate, yes, exactly. That's a common one as well.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Go and get your prostate checked out because of prostate cancer. I don't subscribe to any of these shitty narratives, to be honest. And um uh doctors had his finger up my butthole once to check for the prostate, and that's it. I I thought to myself, I'm not having this. Here I am in a position where I could go along that path, and I'd have every excuse to oh my back and blame it on my back and become the whole fucking victim in all of this, and then all what was going through my mind at the same time was Sarah's gonna leave me, and she'd be fucking right too, because she's a young woman, and and you know, I'm sitting there with this this broken back, and uh uh well actually we've discussed this in sickness and how we did discuss it in another podcast episode, but it's not obviously as simple as yeah, okay, it's not as simple as that leave it, okay. It's not as simple as that, but I wouldn't not have held it against her, to be perfectly frank. Because I had the chance, no matter how bad I thought things were, I knew that I could. You can reverse pretty much anything. Um, some might disagree with me on that, but you can reverse pretty much anything. And anyway, I reversed everything. I started lifting five kilogram weights, and I got up to nearly a hundred kilograms on a squat.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Yes, that was over a period of four years, four years, and that's the point, really. It's it's quite common. Oh, I'm gonna get fit, and you try and do too much too soon and you injure yourself. It takes time, and that's actually with any change program, you've got to start small, whether it's something mental, emotional, whatever. You you have to start small small.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

You have to put in the work and put in the time, but the time in consistently consistently, yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Over years. Yes. And I find this quite often with people. Oh, and it can be in any region, like, oh, I used I I go to the gym, and then it turns out the last time they went to the gym was like a year ago.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Or I've done the therapy thing, and the last time they did therapy was like three years ago, or I worked on my emotions, and then it turns out, you know, they kind of sort of did, maybe at some point. It's with anything with any area of growth, it's consistent every single day, putting in the reps over time.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

And I think this is where people are. This is where people get scared.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Yeah, they get scared as they're all.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

I don't think it's that. I think it some people are all or nothing. So they're either like obsessively doing something or they don't do something.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Which can also be unhealthy.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Which is actually very unhealthy from multiple perspectives. Um, or they're like, oh well, I'll do this, do small things consistently for like a few weeks, and then I sort of get bored of it, stop doing it.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Yeah, because you don't see the results immediately.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

And really, the choice is yours whether you want to be healthy in later life or not.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

And you can start at any age, and we have a friend that's I think she's just completed the Camino de Santiago. Well, she sent me some pictures of what I think was the end point.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

But well, we gave her the shout-out, didn't we?

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Yeah, but she said um on the Camino there was a 76-year-old Italian lady who was walking faster than her. You know.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Oh, by the way, the Camino de Santiago, for those of you anywhere else in the world who are not from Europe, it is a walk uh that's about 500 miles, possibly 300 miles or five.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

There's different routes, but it's a very, very long walk that takes place over weeks or months.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Yeah. So um the uh the 70-year-old Italian. Let's see, there you go, you see.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

76-year-old lady, and so actually, to bring this into context, my dad is coming up to 76. His new excuse for everything that's wrong and why he can't change is that he's an old man. I mean, to be fair, he's always had an excuse of some kind, but that's his new victim as well.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Actually, the the the this is another reinforcing thing that keeps me in the shape also that I'm in at the moment, and I'm in pretty fucking good shape.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

So, anyway, can I just you interrupted me?

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Yeah, I know. It doesn't feel nice, does it?

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Yeah, it's annoying.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

Let me just finish. He said, actually, someone you were give having a go at him for something, and he just turned around and he said, I'm sorry for being old.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Yes, yes, yes. So that was that anyway, that's his new excuse for everything from why he can't express emotion to why he can't walk for more than 10 seconds. So um I I turned around and said to him, He and literally he'd just been to an 80th birthday party the week before. Every single person there was A older than him and B far more sprightly, despite being older. So I said, sorry, didn't you just go to an 80th birthday party? Wasn't everyone there older than you? And don't they all and they're all actually pretty active. There was a man in his 90s there who looked, I don't know, 10-15 years younger. So you can use it as an excuse, and I'm gonna say things get harder as you get older, and maybe you have to do things differently.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

But again, as I've said with the mind-body connection, I've talked about this probably I think we've talked about this in previous podcasts, but it's something I'm gonna be going into a lot more detail on. The more that you buy into these narratives and think I'm too old for uh I'm going to deteriorate, etc., the more that is feeding into your body. Your body is registering everything that you are thinking.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

So you can either choose to look at all the evidence that you will decay, and again, there's evidence for everything, right? I could look at my dad and be like, right, well, that's what awaits me.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

That's an encyclopedia, not evidence.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

Um you can look at the minority, and it is the minority of people that are healthy into their 70s, 80s, 90s that are still active. You can look at that minority, and you can look at what they do, and you can choose to start building up today. And it doesn't matter how old you are. I mean, Richard started doing this.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

I was 51.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Exactly. He started doing it five years ago.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

And and he's in the best shape he's ever been. I am.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

I'm you know, I'm looking pretty fucking good. Well, at least I look at myself in the mirror and go, yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

And and let's talk about the sex part of this.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Oh, you have you finished now? Because you're going blue in the face again. Take a breath now.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Because this is a show about sex and no, but I thought this gave context.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

The only reason why men dwindle in their fifties sexually is because of all of what we just said, because they go from kind of Yes, a little bit. They're the belief is that the woman is less sexual, so they're less interested. All the stuff we've talked about on previous podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

On both I think you can be fit, a fit and healthy man in your fifties and still be a bit sexually stunted as well, actually. But certainly the physical fitness helps, it's a prerequisite. Requisite for having sexual stamina as well.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Yes, no, you're actually absolutely correct, but that's a whole different discussion. That is also about narratives.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

So if we talk about sexually, I okay, so men when they're older taking Viagra. Erectile dysfunction, the majority of the time, obviously it does have a physical component, but the majority of the time it is it has some emotional or psychological component as well. And let's not forget that it requires intimacy as well to really develop that sexual stamina in a long-term relationship.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

I'm gonna be up front here. Um, so this is where I get to talk about my penis on the rare occasion.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

Oh, I'll shut up then.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Yeah, well, you know, we've talked about cervixes and everything else, but you know, for all the guys out there, um, heart on sleeve here, and um no, I'm not embarrassed either. I was not having erectile dysfunction, but when Sarah on occasion was trying to pleasure me, just for me, old Mr. Peanus, no, when I say old, Mr. Peanus wouldn't react. And we've since discovered about during the sexual act, yes, I can I can uh I I do very well in that department, but just to prove the sort of narrative thing, this was a reflection for me. Was I never actually put myself first and never was capable of receiving things from others all during my life because I never put myself first, and this was a classic case of a reaction, a physical reaction, of not putting myself first and not being able to receive, right? So, you know, I did have some psychology to um to um to sort out in terms of being able to function well sexually in my 50s as well.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Yeah, so I mean I think aside from the uh physical component I mean I think I've already alluded to this anyway, but it's also uh about how you think, what you think, how you feel the level of intimacy you have with your partner.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

And this is all new for us as a couple. We're still a work in progress, like I like I've said before, and um we are working diligently toward this. Yes, even though my in-laws are here and historically they have been the best fucking contraceptive chastity belt out there, but even this time we've managed to carve out time for us to be together. Yes, and uh and that makes also for a healthy relationship well into your 60s, 70s, and I mean there are people out there in their 60s who um uh who have um studied with um what's her name? Kemanami.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Yeah, so one of the um the Australian couple in particular, yeah. Yes, so one of the um let's call it teachers around sex and intimacy out there is Kimonami. She is out there.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

She's very out there, she loves to trigger the whole world by everything.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Um the she has various uh people that have been through her program, and a pretty large proportion of them are older people, so 40s, 50s, 60s, even 70s.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

From couples who have kind of lost touching, couples have been together like 20 years.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

Um, one story that I've heard recently was an Australian couple in their 60s, and basically they were both like, yeah, sex life was basically shit for our entire marriage.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

He was like, Yeah, it was all the one pump chump or something.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

And she was like, Yeah, it wasn't very satisfying. So they eventually just had sex like once a year or something, and they were about to get divorced, and then they started to study Tantra, and then he was like, We had sex for five hours.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Are you trying to do an Australian night? No, no, I mean I'm not even gonna try.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

He was like, I could have gone for longer, but she was kind of done off five hours.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

I haven't quite got there yet, but like I say, we're a work in progress.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

I mean, the point is again coming back to you can decide at any age enough is enough, you can and decide to change. You can, and you gotta do and that's what he they did in their 60s.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Yeah, you gotta do like I did the work. I you know, I this sort of psychological issue came up with me, um, physical issue, and I have sorted it, and there's a whole protocol for doing that. But you know, these things take you gotta want to do the work, you gotta want to sort of allow it to take its time to work. You can't expect because we live in a world where there's a pill for every ill, you take a pill and suddenly your symptoms go away and you feel better, but the cause of the source of the problem is still very much there, bubbling underneath until it's time to strike again.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

Actually, it's interesting because my mum started parroting everything, so she'll say something to me about not moving or not walking enough, and I just look at her and she's like, I know what you're gonna say, it's my choice. I was like, Listen, yes, it is your choice.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Yesterday she was uh saying, Oh, can I have some magnesium for my night cramps? And I said, Oh, yeah, sure. Have you been getting them here? And she said, No, no, we haven't. I haven't been getting them here. And I said, Do you want to know why? Yes, because you're walking every day. Your daughter's making you go out for walks every day, and you're not getting cramps. Now you know why you're getting cramps because you're not mobile, but she'll go back home and carry on.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Well, then I will just look at her and say, It's your well, actually, she she just says it now.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

I just so what but you know, that story, it doesn't have to be this way. You you all of you have the fucking power to do what it is that is necessary, you all have it, and just saying, Oh no, well, you know, you know, even my dad said, Yes, the want for sex gets less and less as you get older, to that as you get older, and to that I say, fuck you. In fact, I did actually say fuck you to my dad, and he laughed, but that's the kind of relationship we have.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

I think and I I want to actually just uh note that this applies in all areas of life.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

As someone that's worked with execs for years now, I will sometimes get on discovery calls with people, and it'll be someone actually the youngest example of this was an entrepreneur whose life hadn't been going so well for a few years now. And I looked at him and he was I think he was about 39. He was like, Oh, everything's over for me now.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

39. I looked at him. Just want to punch him.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

I looked at I looked at him and I said, mate, I'm older than you. I know I don't look older than you. But like this is nonsense. And I said, I honestly don't care whether you work with me or whether you work with someone else. The the the choice is yours, but do the work to reprogram how you think because I can tell you this for nothing. The way you are thinking is uh going to be disastrous for you, and it's not just him. I've again talked to people in their 50s being like, I'd like more career moves, but uh, you know, the the workplace's ageist, etc. I'm like, yeah, that's all true. And the way that you carve out your career for the next 10 to 20 years, should you choose to continue working because you want to, is to stand out, to really, you know, understand what is your zone of genius, how do you bring value and stop trying to fit in and stop. And here's another very common one. I'm I'm on my soapbox now. Recruiters don't like me. Recruiters don't like me because I don't fit in a box. And I said, You're absolutely right, recruiters are not your friend. This is your time to proactively carve out something for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

And again, what's that got to do with it?

SPEAKER_02 31:21

No, but it does because this is all areas of life you could say to yourself, I'm too old now. And you would be right, because for the majority of that of people that is true. So if you don't want to end up like the majority, you have to start looking at what the minority do.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

Yes, like um, I'll I'll wrap this up with this. I am a professional day trader in the markets.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

I thought you were gonna say the professional data for some reason, yeah. Um should we set up a matchmaking company?

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Can you just let me finish for once in your life? Would that be okay? My my my podcast, and she talked 29 minutes of it out of 32. Honest to God. But I love you, sweetie. You do have a way of explaining things that is very, very good. Anyway, I am a day trader, and the statistics are that 95% of people fail at this. And for a long time I thought I was part of the 95% until I got up and said, Fuck this, in my 50s. It's a long story. Maybe I will tell it one day because it's quite interesting about narratives and stuff. And one day I got up and I said, Fuck this, I'm gonna be part of the five percent. Yep, and here we are, and here we are always be part of the five percent.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

Always, and for anyone that's thinking, oh, bet everyone can't be part of the five percent. Well, how about we all we start growing that five percent?

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Listen, change yourself, start there, and then maybe you can teach a few things to other people, change the world one person at a time. That's what I try to do, that's what we're trying to do here.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

Well, actually, my mum said to me, Do you think you can sort your father out? I was like, No, I'm not even touching that with an 80-foot barge pole.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

What you mean, sort your father out in what way?

SPEAKER_02 33:23

As in make him a wonderful husband.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

Uh reincarnation would be good. Make him a wonderful husband, is what she said.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

No, because she was saying, Oh, you're so lucky with Rich. And I was like, No, no, no, this was work.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

This was work, it's not luck. You didn't win me in a lottery. I was came with my own fucking shit.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

Yeah, like this, our relationship now is not what it was like at the beginning. Not at all.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

And we'll keep on working at it because I tell you what, looking at your parents, watching your mother shudder, watching those ps chills go up her spine, going whenever your dad opens his mouth, that tells me and it reminds me constantly of where I don't want to be in 20 years' time. Yes, and actually not that I have a worry that we're gonna get to that place, but it's a good reminder to keep it to keep doing the work. It's fun.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

For those, and actually we can finish on this for those people that have had or do have difficult parental relationships when I'm not absolutely triggered, which I have been triggered a fair bit over the last two weeks, but yeah, you have. But when I'm not triggered, and I'm talking about it more calmly and trying to see the perfection and everything, I see it as they've taught me literally everything about what I don't want and what not to be.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

And that's allowed you to go on your path of choice as well. We'll do a podcast maybe surrounding parents. Yeah, how they affect. I think we should do the next podcast.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yes, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

Since it's still all fresh in our minds.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Yeah. They're leaving tomorrow, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Y'all. We actually threw them out of the house because our dad is so loud that so that we could re-record this episode. Yes, yes, because we weren't going to compromise and do it, sort of try and fit it in.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

We've been ti they were they were banished for an hour. My my dad was like, We'll be back at exactly 12. Don't hurry back.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

Yeah, absolutely. Don't go enjoy a nice walk and coffee with your own wife. Just say, we'll see you back at 12 and one second, so I can go on my tablet and look at endless rings of shit on YouTube. Yeah. And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, love you all and we'll catch you on the next one.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

See you next time.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

Bye. We'd like to thank you for tuning in and listening to this episode today. If you like what you heard, I invite you to follow our show. And if you really liked our show, head over and leave a review on your podcast app of choice. We also want to hear your thoughts and questions. So, if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on the email below. Thank you for listening, and until next time.