Episode 36: Man vs. Woman , The Narratives That Convieniently Keep Us Apart

We like to challenge narratives that we see perpetuated out in the world on the Bone Zone and in this episode, we talk about the growing trend of pitting men and women against each other.

It seems everywhere on social media now, you have men degrading, insulting and attacking women.
And women who are done with men. Posts and podcasts about the “man child”, toxic masculinity and unfair expectations on women.

It’s hard to get away from it… And there is much evidence to support these viewpoints.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  The trends and narratives we’re seeing turning men and women against each other.
•  Why the narrative is so insidious in creeping into your belief system
•  How it feeds hopelessness, a growing loneliness epidemic and sense of separation
•  Why “otherness” amplifies but never solves the issues

We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on 

info@thebone-zone.com 
And if you want to check out Sara’s solo podcast, The Mind Body Spirit Accelerator – where she gives you simple neuroscience-based tips (that actually work) to create the life you want,
you can check it out on:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033kZ5sPIbZkkQe6j6xJkH?si=99231cc2e65c4d8a 

or
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mind-body-spirit-accelerator/id1896793868

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Welcome back to another edition of The Bone Zone. Hello. Hello. Hi. Um, yes, this week uh subject apparently that Sarah has been thinking about for the last week. Um simply entitled Man versus Woman.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Oh yeah, I did tell you a little bit about what I was thinking this week.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

You just said well, what in like one sentence? You really elaborated a lot, yeah. So I'm gonna let you just crack on with this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Okay, well then basically this is gonna be news to you as well as to the people listening.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Probably not.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

But I don't know whether y'all I love saying y'all. Anyway, I don't know whether you have noticed recently on social media this whole thing around men versus women. It's almost as if there's a feeling like um that men are being turned against women, and women are being turned against men. So you've got women on social media that are like I'm done with men, all men are man children, all men are overly feminine, or you've got the all men are just assholes, or whatever it is now.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

Um you consume a lot of social media, do you?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Well, not only that, but you know, I have emails that I get about certain podcasts and whatever.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Okay, because that's completely flew over my head. I did get this impression that there was something going on, but not to this.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

I feel like it's been this kind of insidious programming that's been around for a while, but I feel like it's almost ramped up. I mean, it's always been there because you have these books, men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, like to to kind of reinforce the sense of separation, like, oh my god, they're literally people from different planets. Like, so it's always there, but it's kind of turned into this almost hatred of the other side. So the way I've seen it come up in women versus men is like uh, for example, someone that I used to do coaching with many years ago now went through a very messy divorce, had started her own podcast, and she's like, most divorces are actually from the female side, wanting a divorce, and the man feels blindsided because they never saw it coming, even though the woman's been trying to get their attention for years, been like you have to change your behaviour, and they've ignored it. She talks about the man as the man child, like basically they want to parade because they emptied the dishwasher, whereas the woman is work, whereas the woman is working a full-time job, like looking after the kids, doing all the housework, and gets no credit for anything.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

And the man You've got plenty of examples of yeah, and there are plenty of examples of that.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Like, and the man does one thing, and they're like, Oh my god, look at me.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Here's a trophy, well done. Pass on the head.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

I'm like, I'm like husband and and uh father of the air here.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Um I picked a pen up off the floor.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

And then so you've got all of these, all of these women as well that are um fed up with men that are overly feminine and don't take charge. You've got those women that are fed up with the quote unquote toxic masculine, or let's call it the unhealed masculine, where they're just like, I have to control my women and like fuck everything that moves. Like you can see why, if you bought into most men alike that, you would just be like, you know what? I'm just gonna be happy, you know, living my life, got my friends, got my job, have my apartment. I'm I'm good. I don't want to get involved in any of that. So, and what I noticed as well, because I was talking about this whole man-child thing to Richard yesterday, and I started getting hyped up about it yesterday. Like, I started getting on a soapbox about like why the fucking soap it's like, oh, I do one thing in the house that I live in.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Was that your dad?

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Yes, but also I think other men of that kind of age as well, they do like a few things in the house and they expect like some kind of acknowledgement for it, whereas the woman's just been doing it for years, and that's the thing they've been asked to do. Well, let's let's just say they even did it unasked one day.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

Oh, well, hang on, and then in that case, you need to roll out a fucking red carpet for them with Menosca.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Um so, yes, that's some examples of women against men program. And I say programming, there are lots and lots of examples of this, so much so that even I was like yesterday, like, oh my god, because you know it seems to sadly be a bit of a growing trend.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

What psyops? What psyops.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Okay, whatever. We're not going down the conspiracy theory route just yet. You can get to that in a second. And then the other the other side of that is men against women. So examples I've seen of that out there. Oh god, there's so many examples. So you've got the I think they're called incels.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

What?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Incels, have you not heard of that? Where have you been?

SPEAKER_02 6:29

I don't spend my fucking life on social media, mate.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Hello, you need to see what what kind of crap is out in the world.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Yeah, but I don't I don't like I don't like social media, so I rely on you to tell me this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

So I don't have to I definitely talk to you about incels before. I'm gonna go through some of the examples which seem to have flown over Richard's head, actually, probably because he's like, I'm such a great guy, I don't need to know anything about this.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

No, no, this is why, is because I don't spend hours on social media.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Well, no, but this is helpful to understand what kind of that's why I have you in my life, my darling, so you can tell me. So one of the narratives, one of the groups of men that hate women are called incels, and this is a shortened version of involuntarily celibate.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

So my god, right.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

It refers to basically young heterosexual men who basically feel that they're unable to have any sexual partners despite the fact they want them.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Now, why is that?

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Basically, this has developed into a kind of misogynistic culture where they basically hate on women, think all women the bitches, and just after like men's money, which is ironic given I'm sure a lot of these incels are probably unemployed. It's like they're like, oh well, I'm not getting laid because I'm unemployed. No, you're not getting laid because you're a misogynistic dickhead.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Yes. Okay, I'm getting back on my soapbox again. So that's one example. Then you've got um you've got the quote-unquote toxic man who does get a lot of women, or at least they say they do. Whether they actually do is a whole other thing. But they kind of treat women as trophies or sex objects. Uh, an example of that is Andrew Tate, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Oh, that bored Creton.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Yeah. We we probably shouldn't mention his name.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

I don't give a fuck. Andrew. You're a bald Creton. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

So yeah, um, that's another example of the of men just having this awful impression of women. And sadly, that kind of culture is filtering down to young people as well, and re reinforcing.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

That's the worrying part. Yes. These people have millions of followers. I mean we covered this in the manosphere episode, but this is a very worrying trend. That's just why I keep saying the word psyop.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

What's really interesting is this is sort of creating this horrible subculture or subcultures are creating overly feminine men as well. So men that actually do have respect for women and go so far the other way that they're like, I can't tell women or why is a woman in any way?

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Sorry, I can't hear you. What was all that? Repeat that.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Men that are like kind of like I have so much respect for women that I'm going so far the other way that I'm overly effeminate, don't take charge, don't lead in case she thinks I'm telling her what to do, or like whatever.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

Oh, like in that episode of uh what's that comedy? Younger. Anyone who's seen the episode Younger, uh, the series Younger, there is an episode dedicated to this kind of guy.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

Yeah, no, so that but you've got obviously less extreme versions of that, and that feeds into the whole man-child thing that women complain about because no woman really wants a pussy or a man-child that they have to take care of as well as the children. So, why am I talking about all of this? Because the narrative is basically turning men against women and women against men. Psyop. Yes. Why don't you actually since you want to talk about this, why don't you go with psyop is instead of whispering it?

SPEAKER_02 10:27

It's like a psychological operation. I think the state of the world, certain narratives that seem to sort of arrive are perpetrated by institutions or people who want it that way because it serves a purpose to have people um being angry with each other and competing with each other instead of creating a harmony in the world. The world is extremely in a vibe of non-harmony at the moment. So you have have had all these narratives in the past. I mean, it didn't used to be like that.

unknown 11:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Why is it like that now? Did we create that? I think it was created for us.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

So what we're seeing is an increasingly polarized world. Yeah. Whatever your uh feelings about conspiracy theories or not, I don't think anyone can argue with the fact that we're seeing extremes of opinion, we're seeing extreme polarity and we're seeing gender confusion. Yes, and we are basically seeing that no one can actually have a conversation with the other side now without basically getting so triggered that they just can't listen. And so you've got everyone screaming at everyone else, and an example of that is what I've just said: man versus woman, woman versus man. Now, um, as you all know, I am not a conspiracy theory buff like Richard. However, my the logical place where I go, and for anyone that uh is like this sounds crazy, fine, go and look it up yourself. The World Economic Forum does have a plan to reduce the population.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

And what better way to do that than to start pitting everyone against each other?

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Okay, let's just even condense this down. Okay, go and look up the World Economic Forum, okay, yourselves. Do the work. I'm not going to tell you about this.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

And also, if he did tell you about it, you'd probably just think he was enough.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

So it looks like I I I painstakingly go out and find information and follow the money trails of what's going on on this planet, and it's just screaming out. Sarah's, I think, has talked about before in terms of uh science and neuroscience of how a person comes to believe in a certain thing. So basically, something is repeated enough times, like through social media, through the news, through the newspaper, through whatever the hell media it is coming through, then the brain has no choice but to believe that piece of information.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Yes, it basically gets integrated into your beliefs system as fact. If it is repeated thousands of times, which by the time you've looked at the news and social media and what other people are saying, etc. etc., you do begin to integrate it. Even, and it's interesting because, as I said, I can completely get on this woman versus man soapbox as well. Like, I have plenty to say about it, but it comes to the stage where I'm like, why is it that I've even I who believe that you know you have good and bad and extremes of everything, and that you have still many, many, many good people, good men, good women in the world, even I can get to the stage where I'm like, wow, like I look at what's going on, and I'm like, Scott.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

If everyone thinks, oh, great, the Facebook, great, TikTok, great, everything is great. Oh, wow, I can communicate, I can uh do all these wonderful things. However, you know, anyone who's got any sort of bad ideas can use these things to literally control minds, and there's a whole story behind this. Okay, it's out there in the public domain. I think the CIA released this. MK Ultra. Plug that in and go and read about that. There are very easy ways to control um uh the belief systems of people, otherwise, ask yourself this question: why the fuck? What's going on today? How is that happening? Did we all decide to to to start fighting with each other? Or was this the the the platform set for us to end up fighting with each other, which is what I personally believe? Ask yourself that question.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

The the um man versus woman, woman versus man has always been there. It's just been brought to the surface so much recently So it's more people believing it. If you put if you put through social media all men are dickheads hundreds of thousands of times, but you would have a ton of content, and vice versa. If a man put like oh women are bitches through social media, I'm sure I haven't done this, but yeah, but the people who scroll incessantly all day long, especially the kids who are very impressionable, they end up growing up, what, making the world a better place?

SPEAKER_02 15:51

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

I mean, essentially we are all being driven to move away from forming functional relationships or even thinking good thoughts about other people, right? Exactly, it's almost like we're being poisoned against other people, and I think this links in as well to this growing trend on social media of um I think I've seen mostly women doing this, but maybe there are men. I'm uh single, no interest in men and no friends. This is how I spend my week.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Great.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Um, and you know, I've I think we've talked about before. I I've kind of lost track whether I did this in my solo podcast or here as well, but social connections are imperative for brain health. So actually, better social connections could reduce dementia cases worldwide by up to four percent.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Yeah, I read that. No, it was in one of your podcasts.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

It's it's crazy. So this this is an actual neuroscientific study done. Um social connection is linked to lifespan and health span, but people are kind of being led to just not even bother connecting or putting themselves out there. And I'm sorry, but connecting on social media, even if these people that I've talked about have, I don't know, millions of people are like, oh, look at you, this is great. It's not real connection.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

No, it's not connection, it's withdrawing. It's it's I don't want to fight, so I'm gonna withdraw.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

It's a form of real settling. So so this is uh a growing trend or a growing narrative that is leading people towards places that essentially are harmful. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

And throwing a AI on top of all of that, I think that's gonna go no no place good. Although AI is an excellent tool, but uh the way I see it is AI is gonna take away the the thought process of a human being soon enough, and then where are we gonna be left?

SPEAKER_00 18:15

And here's the other thing, right? If if you don't really have that much connection with the outside world, let's say you work remotely or you only go into the office like a couple of days a week, you um don't date because you've decided men are dicks, and then you get all of your information from social media, you're getting this distorted view, which is you're right, all men are dicks, and here is all the evidence that men are dicks, and you're not actually going out into the world, and and maybe you know, you go out on dates and you end up meeting more dicks, and you meet dicks, and then like it just continues to reinforce this world view, and again, we've talked about this in the past, whatever you believe to be true tends to end up in your experience, and then you tell ChatGPT about your feelings, and then the AI starts to empathize with you.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

So Because we saw that with someone.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

So I don't know, I don't know if you if the listeners know this, but Chat GPT has what's called an I don't know what it the technical term is, but it's basically an empathy overlay. Yeah, so it is basically programmed for it to be overly empathetic with you and confirm all of your biases, all of your thoughts, basically, oh poor you, you're so stressed out all the time, like, and so validate everything that you believe. And you can remove that apparently, but most people don't even know it's there.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

No, most people like chatting to it because they feel emp empathized with.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

And the first the first indication I had about this was I was talking to someone and she was like, I just chat to Chat GPT, it's very empathetic, you know. And I was like, that's a strange way of describing it. And then when I went to actually look into the technical spec and was talking to someone more technical about it, they were like, Yeah, it has this empathy overlay.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

So, do you think this just happened on the world? Um, just like par hasard?

SPEAKER_00 20:32

So, it was designed to to for you to believe certain things and for then those beliefs to continue to be reinforced again and again and again.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

It doesn't happen just by chance. This is being engineered in some way. I mean, guys, ask yourself the question what do you what do you believe? This is just the state of the world today, and it is in a pretty bad state today because we really do need to wake the fuck up as a human being all around the world. For me, my money's on this was engineered for us to be acting this way today because it just things like this don't just happen. We have to be programmed to start acting this way, otherwise, I have to question well, what the fuck is wrong with us? Well, we just chose to do that because we've had enough, we chose we choose to go and live under a fucking rock somewhere because we can't handle the world. Ask yourself this question, yes and question everything. Question as soon as I see something or Sarah tells me something that she's seen on social, I immediately question it. I do not take anything that any media outlet or any whatever as the truth. I just do not.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

I'm I'm gonna actually bring this down to this is more of a Western thing, so but having said that, it can. Be taken to dangerous extremes because we see extremes. I mean, what what's happening in Afghanistan at the moment, where basically women's rights have been completely, utterly eradicated. Like basically, they're non-humans. They're like, I think probably cats have more rights there. Um, this is an extreme version where religion is used to basically subjugate the other gender because you know they're so I mean, God knows what what translation of the religious text they use to get to where they are, some kind of distorted.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

For this specific case.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

For this specific scenario and, you know, other countries as well, where women are subjugated to to a large extent, but probably not as much as there, because that is getting to be so extreme. Well, it's always been like that there, hasn't it? Because there's always like the fear of the other side, like you would never need to do that unless you had a fear that women having power would somehow make men lesser than. And I think that that is the men versus men against women thing. They fear that at a deeper level, they fear that if women had power, it somehow makes them lesser than. And you can see how women turn against men because they're like, well, fuck you. I'm not gonna, I'm not going to whatever happens to working as a team. It's been it's just been completely utterly eradicated, which for me is so sad because fundamentally I believe that most men and most women in the world are good and have good intentions, but we see this, we see these countries and we see these narratives, and it's so easy to believe that the opposite is true. And you know, I have to ask, what does believing these narratives actually do for us? Because we believe these narratives now, and let's face it, no one's fucking doing anything about the Taliban. It's just like, oh, you you see people on social, oh, that's awful, that's awful. Okay, well, what are we gonna do about it? Like, how about we look at a world where we look at why these narratives are just uh kind of accepted as normal now?

SPEAKER_02 24:42

It's because we need to wake up and question everything.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Okay, I'm back on my soapbox.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

You are, I think it's time to end this because we could go on forever and ever. We will probably have uh episodes like this from time to time where we discuss, you know, maybe not so much relationship, but the state of the world. Well, this is relationships. Well, it does. I can tell you one thing. We I we would not be in the place that we are today if we did not have each other in each other's lives. Our relationship for me, and I know I can speak for Sarah, is our biggest success. Okay, so instead of fighting with one another, it's time to cooperate, it's time to give a big fuck you to these arseholes who create these narratives because these narratives are created, there is a source for them, and they use these narratives to create extreme scenarios, and they use these narratives to create confusion because when the peoples of the world, I don't know if you know what's going on in the world, go and look it up, you know, the whole digital IDs and everything else. It's all about um how to keep people in order and to get them to behave and to not kick up a fuss about things.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

That's what this is all about, and it's not a conspiracy theory, this is totally because when they are there when our vitriol is directed towards each other, men versus women, women versus men, or like this political group versus that political group, we're not actually changing anything, everyone's just shouting at everyone else rather than seeing like these people that are governing us, or these people governing these particular countries, like that that is just continuing, it is, and it's going to no place healthy. No, and sadly, we are in a position where most world leaders are we are, we are, but we're also the absolute pits, yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

I know, but we're also in a position to fucking do something about it. So start at home, start creating environments, regenerate the healthy family nucleus, which has been destroyed over time. I don't see it, all I see is people getting divorced and kids having to suck up the shit that their parents have passed on to them at a very young age. That's all I'm seeing at the moment. Okay, so I place trust not in these fucking uh bogus polls that people create to to to try and sway the public opinion. I look at what's going on around me with real people, and that's what I believe what is going on in the world.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

And no, we we can't all change the world. Well, you can change the world one person at a time. Technically, we could, but okay. What I'm saying here is it starts at home and it starts in your communities, and it starts with the way that you see and perceive other people and the kind of narratives that you listen to. And quite frankly, with any belief, ask yourself does it serve me or does it not serve me? And I don't mean it doesn't serve you if you think it protects you, but all it's doing is reinforcing your sense of isolation. That's not a belief that serves you, or or maybe you're just settling into that narrative, you know, you're conceding because it's convenient to believe certain narratives that all people are sharing, and you're like, okay, well, all people have shared. I'm gonna stay at home with my cat and have telly all day long. Have this social media following where I talk about staying at home with my cat.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

Yes, exactly. Anyway, I think it's time to wrap it up. We will catch you on the next one.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

Catch you next time.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Bye. Bye. We'd like to thank you for tuning in and listening to this episode today. If you like what you heard, I invite you to follow our show. And if you really liked our show, head over and leave a review on your podcast app of choice. We also want to hear your thoughts and questions. So, if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on the email below. Thank you for listening, and until next time.