Ep.37 Hidden cost of life, performance & ambition

In this episode, Sarah and Biceps share candid updates on their week, discuss the realities of balancing health, ambition, and personal life, and explore the evolving workplace for women. They delve into topics like stress, self-care, and the importance of structural change in work environments.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Week Updates

02:01
Sarah's Spot and Skin Update

04:00
Barry's Bootcamp Experience

06:02
Body Image and Hormonal Cycles

09:02
Workload, Burnout, and Self-Care

12:01
Supplements and Wellness Products

15:00
Workplace Evolution and Women in Leadership

20:02
Balancing Responsibilities and Ambitions

25:02
Stress, Mental Health, and Structural Change

29:59
Sustainable Work and Personal Boundaries

36:00
The Future of Work for Women

39:59
Self-awareness and Health Intelligence

44:54
Closing Thoughts and Next Steps

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Transcript

unknown 0:01

She's ready.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

I think I'm ready.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Hello, and welcome back to Fit for What, a no-nonsense evidence-based take on health, fitness, and wellness with humour, honesty, and practical advice to help you build your fittest year year. My name is Laura, or most commonly known as the party mirror muscle, the biceps, a supplement skeek, a spreadsheet connoisseur, and sadly still a jujitsu white belt, one stripe.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

And still, I read that and I was like, wait, hang on a sec, because we we do plan this, funnily enough. And I was like, wait, she got a new stripe. And no, it's a fine, that's fine, it's fine. Anyway, my name is Sarah. I'm a women's health hormonal coach, PT, business juggler, and the proud owner of a beautiful spot on my mouth. I didn't want to say anything. Honestly, guys, this spot, he he, I think it's a man. It's a man, I've named it he. It he popped up on Tuesday. And when I said I I've not I've been very blessed in my skin in the last 18 months or so. I used to have knocystic acne, and I have been very lucky. So when a spot pops up now, it's quite the event, but this one came out with sparklers on it. Like it is absolute agony. And I put one of those stupid star, have you seen those like star? I think they're great. Honestly, I've never used one, I've never had a spot, so yeah. No, Laura's literally have a spot. I put it on on this on this volcano on Wednesday night. I'm not joking. I woke up, you'll find this really funny. I haven't told you this. So I woke up quite early on Wednesday morning. I had a day of filming content with my lovely business partner, Rachel. So I was like, classic, course there's a massive spot on my face. I pulled, I pulled the spot sticker off. It was so painful, I nearly threw up. I thought I was gonna have to cancel work. I was like, I can't go to work. I feel so sick. The amount of stuff that came out of it as well was horrendous. But it's still here, guys. It lives, it lives on. It's not as it's not as grim now, but it was honestly. Well, I I think the root has gone down to my fanny, like it must be that listen.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

So I think I'm quite crude, but there's some weird things that I just go, oh, I can't listen to. I can't listen to it. She goes, Do you want to see a picture of my spot? I literally said no, in it came. I said, no, thanks. I said no. I don't want to, I don't want to see it. No, I'm so sorry. I can't relate to uh spots at all because I've never I've never had one. Um I boring hell. Um I don't know. Uh have I?

SPEAKER_00 2:49

I'm sure I have at some point. No, we've got I've got a core memory of Laura being like, Sarah, look at my spot, and I was like, mate, that is not a spot.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

I remember that one. That was one of those that you know when it's from under the it feels like something's occurring under the skin, but nothing but nothing occurred.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

No, it was tiny. It was I would say it's a it was a pimple, if anything. Yeah, that's my that's that's that's my update of the week.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Yeah. Well, I'm so sorry for you and your your uh uh the man, the patriarchy is alive and well on Sarah's on Sarah's face. Obviously, it's a man. What a week it's been. I have had such a full schedule week. And do you know what? I've still out despite that and having really, really poor sleep for me. Like I'm talking, I've clocked a four hour fifty uh Wednesday night. I was grafting, I was grafting into the night, and it was just one of those where I was like, it is what it is, I have to finish this, um, and I still want to go gym in the morning, so off uh it is what it is. Um, but I still I'm thriving. You don't really I well, I feel great. I'm wearing obviously audio podcast for those that are listening. I'm wearing a very bright pink uh hoodie which has had so many comments. I've been gym already, and everyone was like, everyone was like, oh my god, I love that top. I was like, thank you. So I just I think it's mainly for me because people are used to seeing me as part of I'm biceps Adams, part of the Addams family that only wears black. Um I think it's just such so weird to see me uh in anything other than than all black. So yeah, I it's been a full week. Um this week I have very much been to Barry's boot camp. And if you follow me on social media, I've had a lot of people just going, just a question, no judgment, but why are you going? Uh and the the real answer is um that I I had a I have a lovely friend at Barry's that just said we were caught up, we had a conversation, and I said, I haven't been in years, and they said, Oh, don't worry, I'll throw you a few few passes on your account if you want to come. And I went with exactly I went with my pal Emily um last week and um they're what the only thing that I will say that I sh will not do is the double time um uh what is it the the what is it the crunches when you go on the bench you go on the bench and you do their elbow to knee. Where why is this just escaping me? A bicycle crunch, bicycle crunch. I can do a slow bicycle crunch. What I can't do is a double-time one. No. So I can do da. Then he goes, every one 30 seconds, and I don't nothing changes. I will continue, or I will do a V sit hold in my own time. And as obviously I've been a group ex coach for a long time, and it's like oh that twat in the corner that's doing their own thing, that is definitely me. You know, I just can't do the dot dot. It's too fast. I don't feel like I've got any control of my of anything. Um, I know I get that it's fun, I get that, but I'm not a fun guy. I can just I'm not fun.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

In there in like your your uniform, your wins just like dead pattern, like, no, not doing this. I'm I'm gonna hold my brother. No, no, I'm not doing it. No, but I'm not doing it that I see that. But that's how you you you adjust and you overcome, and otherwise you've you seem to be enjoying them. I had a lovely time, we had a great time. You looked so denched in that mirror selfie that I sent you the hot fire flames on.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yeah, do you know what? Um I I've said I think the last week in the last podcast, I feel like a giant beluga whale at the moment. And it is uh yeah, but but I'm starting to feel a bit better now, and this is just the reality of being uh a woman, isn't it? And I we tal I talk about this with you, with uh my friend uh Mel. I talk about it with so many people, like it's like clockwork, the the cycle. I'm very grateful, love the fact to have a lovely regular cycle. Thank you so much. But like clockwork, also I suddenly turn into a giant rhino, and not in a good and not in a good way, and I'm like, oh my god, I look awful. And obviously, like I I have had various relationships with myself over the years and my body image and what I think I look like, and I maybe I don't, you know, it's probably right to say that I don't 100% have um a perfect relationship. I don't think anyone does. Um, but you know, sometimes we look at ourselves, and even I could take a photo and I could look at it, you know, and go, I look exactly the same, but I feel like a beluga whale.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

And I and maybe if you're listening, you can relate. It just hormonally, yeah, I just felt dreadful. And then I look at that picture, and like you and like obviously a thousand hot men messaged me as well yesterday to say, Wow, no, they didn't, I wish. Um it was just you, it was just you and my mum and my mum with the five emojis, yeah. Um you know, I can look at that and I can go, well, yeah, I can sort of see that, yeah, you know, relatively athletic, but yeah, it's just one of those things, isn't it? It's so difficult.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

If I like AI's my face onto that and upload it, you'd be like, you look sick denched.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

I know, but I'm I'm horror, I'm horrible to myself so often.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Really are. And I yeah, I get I get it. I'm the same though. It's really weird, really weird. I um I'm I'm ovulating this week for everyone that cares. Um, but I who care? Who's everyone? Uh raise your hands. No, we do, we do. We love it. We love it. We love it. Thank you. Um it's really funny. I don't think I've ever spoken about this on here. I get, and this is a hormonal thing that I need to get investigated. So this isn't like a I'm not coming at this from a medical um standpoint, but I get really funny heart palpitations. I don't think I've ever told you about this.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

No, you haven't.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

When I'm ovulating and when I'm due on, I get these like heart palpitations, and for years they used to really scare me. Um, but I know what they are now. For me, it's hormonal, so I kind of it's not pleasant at the time, but it's not a concern that's been looked into. Um, but yeah, it made me think, my god, like, and I I obviously I work heavily in the weeds of cycles and and everything like that, but yeah, it's so true. Like it literally dictates our lives, and you just sit there and go, oh my god, like and I like I'm obviously I'm like, oh, I actually think I like as much as this spot is literally living on my face, I'm like, I think I look okay today. But if it was in two weeks' time, I'd be like, Oh, spot is on my face. Right, it is what it is, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 9:41

It's so funny, it is, it's so bad. And I've got um in five weeks' time, my sister sort of my sister, but technically my cousin, is getting married in a betha, and I'm a bridesmaid, and me and the other bridesmaids have got uh a direction on the bridesmaid dress. We've got a selection. I know if you're thinking, why haven't you got the dress? It's in five weeks. Well, I don't, and that's what that's that, and we won't go any further into it. But basically, this is I've just got no luck with bridesmaid dresses, a story for another time. But this one, I've been waiting for this particular dress to come in in what I believe I should have, which is a size medium. For a bridesmaid dress, I would in the heat, I would rather it was a little bigger than too tight for from a sweat perspective. Green. Now, this dress is taunting me because the size that has come back in stock is a small. And the the impact of me feeling so crap about myself, I've lost a lot of muscle, all this fucking running, I don't feel blah blah blah, all of this boring. I haven't been able to buy the dress in a small because I just don't think it'll be right. But I absolutely just need to buy the dress in a small and work it out. Do you want me to buy it for you and s and send it to you? I the amount I'm boring myself hearing when mum goes, sorry to ask, darling, I don't want to, yeah, but have you got the dress? Because we don't want it to go out of stock again and we've missed it. And I'm like, Oh, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow. Because you know, when you're like you when you don't feel good about yourself, the thought of getting into a bridesmaid dress fills me with absolute dread. Yet here I am in my fucking bra and pants, trotting round Barry's, posting it to the internet. What am I doing? So I don't know. It's very weird, but I just wanted to air it. I will. Oh, please sold it for you. I know, I need to, I need to. But the only other thing to report this week that is reportable is as part of my obsession and work around supplements, I have started taking the supplement IM8, as in the letter I, the letter M, and and the number A, which is David Beckham's brand. I first came into understanding about this from a chap I know called Bobby Rich, who is Besimates with Bex. Uh, and Bobby has been in the in and around the gym scene in London for a long time. A lovely, lovely bloke, uh ex-GB judo. Anyway, he is the first UK ambassador, and I've seen him sort of use it, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, sometimes I take, well, a lot of times I take a lot of convincing before I believe in something. And I have to try it, yeah, no shit. And I have to try it myself. Um, and I have come across uh this product now, and I've been using it, and honestly, so what I will say, and you can think of this what you will, there is some pre and probiotics in it that has done some digestive work on on your good self? On my good self. Right. And actually, I think it's very positive. I feel energetic, I feel I feel light in life. And I actually, yeah, I just you know, sometimes when you're like, Oh, I'm just gonna try it. Yeah, why not? And I feel like, yeah, I feel like it's positive. Now listen, don't take my word for it, but I always think, you know, when people some someone I know has been going on at me going, it's really good, I'm eight, and I'm thinking, oh shut up. But actually, sometimes we have to be our own case studies and we've got to give things a go. So that's been my that's been my week on the uh the pre and postbiotic. It's probably a bit simproved vibes.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

I was gonna say, I'm just on the website now. There's some fantastic ambassadors. Let me just get you up there. Well, it's um what's her name in Emily in Paris has just been signed. Yeah, she's a partner, apparently. Um wait, it's a drink. It's a drink?

SPEAKER_01 13:39

It is, yes. It's a powder-based product that has a really, really long list of ingredients. And I know that everyone goes, if the ingredients list is really long, you should avoid it. But what it's trying to do is it's trying to get some efficacious doses of some things that you should naturally get in your diet and some things that you may not naturally get in your diet, but will help with some other with some other elements. So I've been taking the daily, the multi-vit and also the longevity stack, which has got some NMN vibes in it. So yeah, I just, you know, I'm just saying. Obviously, I'm I'm just trying it. I'm I'm obsessed with this stuff. I I you know, it's good. And also I need to report finally that many people have been asking me, you had, Laura, this ultra-human air ring that you were wearing. Yes. And now you are not wearing it. And I'll tell you why. I didn't want to say anything about it, whether I liked it or not, until I had good usage. It's just not my vibe. I would need to give it a good go first before I sort of say anything. And then what I found is the first thing, keep losing it. Okay. Because I keep taking it off to wash my hands, to go to the gym. Can't wear it in jujitsu, and uh it's black and I've left it everywhere. I've lost it a hundred times. And and and then I can't wear it for jujitsu, I can't wear it for the gym.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

So actually, what am I tracking? It's not working. I'm done. Okay, okay, what's the fair point? Because I actually didn't end up getting one, which I thought would be the reason why it is that reason. I'm a very clean girly pop, and I thought actually I'm just gonna end up losing this.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

And I've lost I've left it on many a hip thrust machine around many London gyms.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Oh my goodness. Well, yeah, well, okay, fair. I'm just sorry, I'm still looking on this IMA page. It's not cheap, babes. It's not cheap. Agreed. The Beck stack is £182.66 per month. That is what I've got.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Do I end up looking like David Beckham? I don't think I can confirm or deny that. Uh no, not that you would want to, but I just yeah, I I I was um a friend bought it for me and I thought I'll give it a go, and then if I like it, I can shut them up forever and just say, yeah, you were right, it's all it's it's it's good stuff. But you know, this is the thing with supplements, you some of it can you just you gotta try it. Does it work for you? Cool. Who am I to say? If there's evidence to support a benefit, great. Um, ideally, we would do all of this through our lifestyle and through our food, and sometimes we just need a little help. But 180 quid is is expensive, more expensive than your average gym membership. So I'd probably start there first.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Very true, very true. Yeah, and what have I got to put this week? I feel like I have been I well me and Laura didn't speak for the longest time we've ever not spoken for. I think it was three days, and I was like, oh my god, we are both busy. I don't think we've spoken for three days, which was I didn't even think, I didn't think that that.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Do you know what I mean? Like we've just had been locked in. She didn't she didn't she didn't even clock that.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

But you know, you told me, you told me about your spot and I thought it's a it's a tough time. She's I'm telling her about my sport, it's been a big time. But yeah, I on paper, it should have been a quieter week because obviously it's August, people are wearing a holiday. I thought fantastic. I've got the opportunity to get loads of knowledge and business development work done. I must say I've done a lot this week. I have, but I I still have a lot to do this week, but that's fine. It's 20 past four on a Friday afternoon. Um, I have another call at five, and then I'm gonna give myself two hours of power, two hours to just get shit done, and then I think I'm gonna give myself the whole weekend to not do any work. So we'll see how with that goes. Um, but yeah, I had a nice week. It was obviously super, super, super hot at the end of last week. I went up to the Cambridgeshire uh area to celebrate my best friend's birthday, which was gorgeous. I must say, however, I felt like I slept in an air fryer, had to share bed with my brother bestie on Friday night, and I must say, I literally do you ever get when you get hot? Did you get really angry when you get hot? Oh, livid. Livid, yeah. No, I was the same. So I took a cold shower before I got into bed last Friday, and I had to really have a stern word in myself to calm down because I was getting so angry because I was so warm. Um I just genuinely thought I'd have stepped an air fryer, but wonderful weekend last weekend. This week's been busy. Had to I did I tell you about it? So I went to go get my get my new um passport. It was quite the experience. So, guys, I must say, obviously, don't leave it to last minute like I have. But do you know what a 10 out of 10 trip advisor review for um the passport office? Popped myself up there near the Excel centre, 10 minutes as I in and out, and my passport was here within two days. I can't say I'm not not impressed. Um, did you pay for the super the most expensive? No, I paid because you can pay to it on the same day, and I was like I'm not waiting four hours at the Excel centre, like I've got shit to do. So I was like, I'll just pay for it to be with me within a week, which would have been sufficient for me to what I needed it for. Um but it was here in under 48 hours. Quite impressed. Yeah. So it's like it was it was more than you would pay for your standard renewal, but it wasn't a lot more, and yeah, I was actually really impressed once with a with a service like that. So yeah, shout out, whatever, whoever, who runs that? HMRC, no, it's not HMRC. It's uh government. It used to be the queen.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Oh I don't know if she yeah, it it's um it's Charles. Charles Charles is in charge.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Two days, it's not bad. I was approved with my passport, but yeah, I just feel like I've got those going on. I've got my first event, which we spoke about last week on Monday. So we've got some final tightening up on presentations. I just have I probably I think we're the same. I just love to go into so much detail and then I timed it and I was like, yeah, no, this can't be a three-hour workshop. So I've got some tightening to do on that. Um but good good vibes, trained well this week, just taking the pressure off my training. I kind of was using it as kind of ex exploratory, is exploratory a word, exploratory sessions. I'm writing some programmes for clients at the moment, so I just like to trial bits before I kind of give that to clients to do. So just had good good vibes, good vibes. Um, and I was really happy to sleep under a duvet this week. Now the temperature's dropped. I'm literally, I was so happy to feel a bit cold last night. Oh, I was like, I've missed my duvet. Maybe that's why I woke up this morning and think it was Saturday because I was so happy and comfortable in bed. I was like, oh my god, this is so lovely. I'm cold. And I had to go because it's Friday. But um, yeah, really happy to be reunited with my duvet, and Loki quite enjoying this spot on my face now. So it's been it's been quite the week. It has been quite the week.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

Yeah, it's mad. And I think one of the things that I've been thinking about a lot, and we've talked about a lot, is I know we talk about balance and we sort of joke, and I say, you know, balance never heard of her, and you talk a lot about ebbs and flows of like sometimes we need to be all in and sometimes all all out. And I I I I I just think the conversations I'm having recently, especially with women, is like we always talk about the hit, the what's the cost of things? Like we want to do things, we want to perform, we want to reach goals, but it there's all I always believe that there's always a cost. I I remember even from my university days when I was studying economics and there was this debate that I remember so well that obviously, yeah, I still think about it now. It was like the lecturer was talking about the guns and butter debate. If I told you about this, right, so the guns and butter debate. I mean, this could just be my lecturer just having a a bad day or weird day, I don't know. But the guns and butter debate was basically saying that if you want to produce or ha have more butter, yeah, you will be able to have less guns. So basically it's a principle to say that there will always be a cost somewhere in the economy, in your life. If you want to lean in more on something, there will always be a cost. There's no this increments, you know. That's why I've got the problem with people going 110%. Well, I'm too commercial, that doesn't exist. 110% is what I have a hundred I have a hundred percent. I can move my chess pieces in different directions, but I I've only got a certain amount of chess pieces. So for me, I just I I always think about this. And if I'm making decisions in my own life, I think, okay, but how will that, what will the cost be? How will that change? How will that change how, you know, the flexibility that I have? Or, you know, I'm I think innately we are both ambitious people, but I think that ambition comes from a personal passion. It's not because we just want to be at the top and we want to rule everything. It has to come with a bit of purpose. And we want, we, we want to, we want to be getting ahead, but for us, it's that's just not hierarchically. I really couldn't care less what my job title is. I want to be doing purposeful, fulfilling work that I feel uh, you know, has has a benefit to not just myself, society, and and the things that we're passionate about, and that just happens to be in health and fitness. And I think things that we have talked about before, 91% of UK adults have experienced high or extreme stress in the last year. Basically, all of us. I'd like to speak to the 9% who are chill guys that are just like, no, it's fine, everything's fine. Uh, one in five workers took time off for stress-related poor mental health, and that is even bigger. As I think we've talked before in uh 18 to 24-year-olds. Um, so this hit this principle of a hidden cost is not hidden anymore. And I think I and I again maybe I've talked about this before, but I remember um the soul sisters that you know, those Abby and Maddy and um Maddy and what's her lovely sister called? The the Weaver sisters, right? Soul sisters, Alex. I rem Alex, Alex and Maddie, Alex and Maddie, lovely, lovely. I remember eight years ago they invited me to an event and they said um it is an event uh to uh support mental health. And I genuinely remember going, What is that? And she said to me, Can you please, we're we're gonna have you do like a fitness session for in in in it's sort of campaigning to sort of bring awareness to mental health within fitness, and she said, Can you please give me a quote on your thoughts, your personal thoughts on mental health? And I genuinely had to Google it. I Googled thoughts on mental health, and I remember so clearly I said, We all have a health, uh, and sometimes that we all have a mental health, sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not good. Something to that effect. And I just but all I'm saying is it was only eight years ago that I truly recognised and asked myself, am I okay? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's it's mad. Um and previous to that, you know, I've had lots of corporate jobs where I've absolutely dumb myself in, burnt myself out, and just thought, this is life. Yeah, this is life. So I don't know that there's there's I I absolutely think there's a net benefit to us all talking about it, and it's it's really important. Um, but I do also think it's our personal responsibility to put ourselves in the right environments. You know, obviously a lot of privilege comes with that, um, but it you know, we we've got to do what we can that is within our control. So here's the thing that really uh that sort of makes me sad. When we talk about ambition, 65% of workers in the UK believe sacrificing work-life balance isn't necessary for career success. And and if you are deemed more successful, so this is sort of looking at managers versus non-managers, that is higher. So 74% of managers believe you need to sacrifice your work-life balance. The higher up, let's say, an organization or higher higher up the the hierarchy you go. Now, for women who self-identify as ambitious, 42% worry that flexible working will damage their careers. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. And I see it all the time. And I there's loads, there's um I on Instagram there's an account called Mother Pucker. I actually can't remember her name, but she does a lot of campaigning. I've always looked at her post and thought, yes, because this world, this working world is set up for a prehistoric way of life. The woman stays if you are in a heterosexual relationship, the woman stays at home, the man goes to work, provides, blah blah blah. Yeah. What if you are the sole owner of a child? Yeah, or a pet. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Then what? And that is in both places, in the gym and in the place of work. Yes. Obviously, you have experience working with pre and postnatal uh individuals in your current role. How the hell do they manage it? I mean, it is rare that women pre and postnatal are in a gym.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's so interesting. I actually had a really interesting conversation with a new postnatal client this week, actually, and she was like, I'm just so glad I found you. Um, and I was like, Cool, like what makes you say it? She's like, Well, it's just so rare to be able to find somewhere I can bring the baby. I don't have to worry about childcare. I can think about myself. I have a trainer that is actually really comfortable with children. I'm happy to hold the baby, I'm happy to involve the baby in the session. Like, there's so many things that women have to think about anyway. Add a baby or a literally a dependent. When we're talking dependent, we are talking literally life or death dependent here on someone. How the hell are they meant to joggle it all? How they how they how do you do it all? Like it's it's absolutely wild, and there's so many barriers to entry for the gym, but also for work when you've got to think about a child as well, or just balancing. Like, I joined, I saw a really interesting what's he called? I'm gonna have to find I'd actually, I'm gonna pop it in the show notes. There's a really fantastic video that a doctor posted this week. I think I shared it with you actually, Laura, about the weight of being a woman in terms of like the ongoing to-do list we have mentally as women. And this isn't this isn't me saying this as a dig to men. It is just this constant narrative that we have. Like, even within my relationship, I'm the one who thinks like, what's for dinner? How we got food in it? Are we doing a food shop? Have I put a wash on it? Has the washing gone away? Before I even start to think about my work or my training or my wellness, like basic things that go into running a household. We have this constant like to-do list, and I just think, yeah, it's how do we do it all? Like, I and I and I think we are the we are the first generations now that are trying to do it all well. And I think I spoke to Laura about this briefly earlier when she kind of mentioned this topic. I was like, it's impossible, mate. Like, it's impossible. Like it's ebbs and flows, and that's truly how I think of it. Is like, and this is me percy, but I see it with clients, I see it with friends, I see it with family. There is there's times in your life where you you can push, and there's times where you can pull, and I think that's how I associate with that. The butter and the gun analogy is perfect because you you have you, and you're so right. You I see it as like I think I always visualize it as like a pie chart in my head. It's like there's only a certain amount of hours in my day or in my life or in my week that I've got to allocate to stuff, and right now for me, I would say work is about 80%, so therefore, I know my availability to be a good friend, to be a good daughter, to be a good family member is probably a little bit less, and I've got to get comfortable with that. Whereas I think where my burnout has maybe stemmed from previously is I was really uptight and uncomfortable with the fact that I couldn't be 100% of everything. And I think I've learned as I've aged, I think this comes with wisdom and with definitely is like you can't do it all. It's literally fucking impossible. Like you can't do everything, you can't be in more than one place at once, and yeah, there's there's a there's only 24 hours in a day, right? There's only so many things you can do with two hands. Like you have to just accept when things have to be put on the back burner a little bit. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

And as the great Molly Mays said, we've all got the same 24 hours in the day. Yeah. I and I think obviously you're you're working freelance at the moment. You work with a lot of um individuals that uh do have bear the weight of responsibility of childcare. And I've had lots of conversations with people, especially over summer, when you're if you have kids and they are, I mean, I couldn't relate, but if you did own them, um you they don't go to school throughout summer. News to me. What? Um why are they all out on the streets? Don't even go somewhere during the day. Um, yeah, like you know, that that juggle is so real because, like you were saying, you know, you're trying to be all these roles that you just reeled off, add mother to that, which unfortunately you've got a human Tamagotchi that, you know, it's it's there there's real uh yeah, real, real guilt associated to that. And I hear that from so many women in my life that have kids. And also, I have also sadly heard a lot of women in my life that believe that they haven't been given opportunities professionally because of their status as a mother, their responsibilities, or maybe they'll be going for it to have another. And are they gonna have to go on maternity again? And even last night I had a conversation with someone and they were talking about potentially moving roles, and they were like, but I might want another, want to try might want to try again, and I just don't think a new role, I don't think it would be fair to a new company if I went and then had to go on maternity. And we it was and and I mean this with love because I I I love all of the men in my life, but someone else said a man wouldn't worry about that.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

That is so true. It's yeah, and I yeah, I it's so true. I remember having that conversation with a close um friend of mine. It's like you literally like we I think just innately as women, we just think about other people so much more as well. We're so concerned by decisions we're making and the impact it has on other people. You're so right. And I think there was in my last role, um we're talking about kind of like in terms of progressing and and the amount, I think even like applicants, male versus female, and someone made a very fair point. It's like men will just blag it to get there. Like they have so much more self-belief and they just give less of a shit of the impact on other people around them that they'll just go for it. They're just so much more like just crack on with it and do it. Whereas I think as women, we question that because we have that guilt associated with how is that gonna impact my ability to shop in my other roles as a human being. Maybe like your your lovely friend has said, Oh, I don't really know actually if that's fair on the company. Screw the company, what is this gonna do for you? But we don't like that, do we? Because it's just the way we are, and I think, yeah, and I always listen to a fantastic podcast. I will again I'm gonna share it in the show notes. It's a it was specifically around perimenopause. Um, with I believe she's called Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, what's she called? I was listening to it. Uh a podcast called Finally Found with Dr. Lina Patel, Sophie Richards, sorry, she's fantastic. Um and talking about how the conversation around perimenopause is fantastic because we're talking about it more and we're spreading awareness. Um but I think there's a real fear around it, and I think also what has really become apparent to me, is particularly with the women that I work with as well, is it can be a real make or break time in their career as well because they just don't know how to navigate all of this going on. We've talked about all this, all of these things that we do as women anyway, but layer on top now a new storm of hormones and feelings and sensations that you're not aware with that juggle feels even more impossible. And it's just like actually, we're not doing enough to help us juggle stuff, I don't think. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

And I mean, obviously, we're huge advocates of time for yourself, and like the the gym is where we spend a lot of our time. And one of the things that I I saw, there's a a uh what they describe as a landmark uh study from the University of Oxford, like over 56,000 UK workers, and they found that there is no evidence that individual level wellness interventions, for example, mindfulness, resilience training, stress management apps, blah, blah, blah, actually improves employee well-being at all. And actually, when you think about it, of course, to me, that's like pizza with the family at work. Do you know what I mean? It's like I don't want pizza with the family, I want to see my own family, and I'd like to eat overnight oats, please. Um, what they do say actually moves the needle is the structural changes, the flex flexible scheduling, yeah, manage good management practices, staffing levels, i.e., do you feel like you you can, you know, you've got the capacity to do your job at a normal and reasonable level, and how performance is reviewed. So it's like, okay, we can do all these things and like celebrate global mindfulness day and you get an hour back, and okay, thank you. Um, but what about my ability to live my life in a way that isn't set up for prehistoric lifestyles? So true. It's so yeah, I just I just found it, it's it's kind of sad, but I just think it we're part of the evolution. We're in the hybrid working era. You know, never would my grandparents have ever have heard of working from home. What the hell is that? Or, you know, people saying, Oh, I need to put time in my diary for thinking time, they'd just be like, do the work, crack on. Yeah, so I do think the what the workplace has evolved significantly, but I still don't think it is set up well for mothers. And as we mentioned before, and and I always recommend this, the book by Emma Greed is basically says, I have you might think I've got it all, but I have a lot of help and I've sacrificed a hell of a lot. And if you want to get ahead, I'm not gonna lie to you, I've had to sacrifice a lot to achieve this. So there's always there's always a cost, and I love her honesty there. And then when we think of when we think about the gym, uh it apparently 13% of of regular gym goers say uh they never take a rest day. Now that actually blew me away because I knew I was weird. I mean, I do take a rest I do take a rest day, but like I'm always active, I'm always fucking doing something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

So and I thought, oh, I must be the weird 1%, but 13%.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

But I think it's part of that, like it's I it makes you feel a bit the that like hustle culture. I was thinking about this earlier, like everyone's got to be seen to be doing the most. Like all the influencers on Instagram aren't famous or they don't have these massive followings because they're like, I just go to the gym twice a week, and that's that's great for me. Like everything is on the extreme. That that like platform that we receive so much information from all the time is on the extreme end of everything. And I probably look for my Instagram that I go to the gym every day. I'm in the gym three days a week now. I've just accepted that right now, in terms of my plate I can portion out for time, the gym isn't the place that I've got loads of time for at the moment. And it's in it's important that I still keep that as a non-negotiable. But for me, right now, three days a week is how often I can turn up, and that's okay, but it's like that's probably that and I I'm not posting, I'm not posting, and I'm I'm not I've got like a teeny tiny following, but the people that are receiving the information for me would probably think I spend my whole life there. I don't, like it's just not doable for me. But yeah, 13% never take a breast of that. That's not good for anyone. That's not good for anyone receiving that information, it's not good for the people doing it. Like, it's just people I don't think we know how to balance.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

I think that I think there's a lot of people that as we've seen, stress has gone up and up, and living, living standards, Coszy lives, all of that. I do think the gym represents such an escape for people. I know I know a lot of people that I can see, and I've done it myself when you're burying something, you're go working through something, the gym or physical activity can provide you with that sort of meditative out-of-body escape experience. So I do, I do really underst I do really understand that. And this I've I've definitely seen this whole sort of quiet quitting, people that are like sort of disengaging a little bit from the workplace, and especially with women. So 73% of women report struggling with fatigue, which is 10% higher than men, obviously. Um, and I and I just think people now that you know we see all these memes on Instagram that it's like you know, a balanced or regulated nervous system is now the new wealth, and I really do welcome that because I do think we've put ourselves in the bin for too long, and the dynamic does have to change because we can do it all if we want, but as we always say, at what cost? Um and and ambition, I think it is good to be ambitious as a woman. I think we should be asking to be paid fairly, to be paid equally, to be considered for roles despite our you know, position, status in life as being able to get to an 8am meeting and a 7 p.m. meeting. Well, no, maybe we've got other responsibilities that shouldn't take away my ability to be a great leader, a great project manager, uh a great team member. Um, and I do think we need more women in positions of leadership to actually, if you don't understand, if you're a you know, we talk about I talk about I say every day I don't understand men. I think I've said that. Maybe they're sat there going, I don't understand women. And I, you know, it it's maybe it is just that thing. We just need we need more women in positions of decision making to really start to evolve what does the workplace look like for women in the future.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Yeah, I so agree. And I think uh I as I I kind of talk about it a lot, I think it's just because of where I ground a lot of my work is with the perimenopausal um kind of population, but it's something that I've spoken about in great detail with clients as well, is like now people expect to be back in the office more and more and more, and it's like, well, actually, when you're when you are balancing so much, like sometimes the office just isn't a good place for you. Sometimes actually you get more work done at home. And I totally, I totally agree with what Emma Greed's saying in terms of progression in career with with being seen in the gym. I know we touch, um not in the gym, sorry, in the office, I know we touched on that a few episodes back, but there's a time where it's like actually women know themselves best, other women know themselves best, and sometimes actually working from home, not having to put that kind of mask on of juggling things well is is better suited. And I so agree, I think actually it's not I don't necessarily think it's like a well it is a stress problem, but I think it is a it's a structural and it's a management problem, I think, and it all filters down right if you've got a manager who understands what you're going through and can say actually do you know what don't worry about coming to the office those three days a week, come in to two days a week, but give me your best. You're gonna get far more from someone, they're gonna feel instantly far less stressed if they feel like they're understood by their management as well. So it's but it's you're right, it's it's the structure, it's the expectation. There's I think we're gonna see a lot of changes and a lot of shifts, and but I just hope that people don't lose ambition. I think I genuinely think ambition is such a positive trait and personality to have, but it's learning how to harness that ambition. I think that's where I think we've both experienced burnout before, is because we are so ambitious and we want to do so well, but we've also a first hand experience at what cost, and sometimes that cost is too great, and it's learning actually your health cannot be that cost because you can't you can't perform and you can't be ambitious and you can't turn up and and drive towards those goals if you're crippled by your ill health because you've just let that dial slide too far. It's and it's like I don't think anyone's ever gonna get it right straight away, and I don't think I've got it right yet. Like I think it's gonna take me years and years, and I don't genuinely think I'll ever get it quite right. But it is it's that health intelligence, isn't it? It's like knowing yourself and your body instinctively well as as to when to know to pull back and when to push, and no one can tell you that you've got to know that for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

I actually I actually think I've nearly got it, yeah, as as as as as best as I have in my entire life. But like you say, it's only because I've I've done I've I've been at the shit bit for you know a few times and I've learned. So I'm basically here from a place of yeah, learnings and and and knowledge. And I definitely think for me, ambition and health and wellness should not be opposite ends of the spectrum. You shouldn't have to choose.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

No.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Why should you have to choose? That is actually bonkers because to get the best out of people, high you know, we talk about athletes, high performance, you you know, you give them the m so much support to enable people to perform at their best. Why do we do that in the corporate world? Yeah. We actually just try and drag people through the shit. We'd we got we don't pay people, you know, we uh fight on promotions and Salary increases, and I get commercially things are really, really tough. But why don't we focus on the things that are really going to make a difference? I don't want the pizza on a Friday night. Um, in case I hadn't mentioned that, I don't like pizza. Um no, but do you know what I mean? It's just like read read the read the room. If you've got a healthy uh, you know, workplace, people bouncing out of bed and they will give you more. I believe it. Yeah, I absolutely believe it.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Yeah, and we were talking, I was talking this week. I've had actually I look back, I've had some really, really interesting conversations with clients this week, but it's even like I've got a pregnant client at the moment, we're talking about like um maternity leave and paternity leave, and it's like if you haven't got those basic supportive structures in place, the idea of like balance again just goes out the window. Like someone in that if you're if you're in a relationship with a partner that is able to support you through that, fantastic. But like again, it that is a balancing act in itself, and it's yeah, it's the structures just don't support ambition and well-being and and health. I don't think it's there right now, but I think it is the for us to kind of and yeah, it's it's I think it's through learning experience is the only way people are gonna really truly achieve it.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

Well, there's very good studies, uh the Whoop studies have showcased that you know, yeah, you can you will be a better leader, you will make better decisions if you are having those thoughts, you know, decisions from a place of health, from a you know, you've had good quality sleep, and uh and then on the other hand you can say, you know, whilst your competitors are asleep, if you're out there grafting, you might get ahead. I don't know. I it's just it's there there's no right, there's no right or wrong, but what I do know is that what the workplace needs to evolve and people need you know, I still in the corporate world still get looked at as pretty bonkers, and maybe I agree in terms of not just me in general, just my dedicate my dedication to uh to to health and wellness, but I it's just it's because I've I've been I've been in a bad place and I I'm I'm petrified of going back there. So my so my boundaries and my non-negotiables are so strict now that there's not much you could force me to do respectfully and reasonably. Obviously, I you know I'm I'm as flexible and as agile as I I need to be in in a corporate situation, but not uh not at the cost of putting me in, you know, I'll have a few nights of poor sleep because I've been over grafting, not a problem. But sustainably, no, you can't keep me doing that because I'm out the door. So yeah, I think that's that's the thing. Sustainability, does that exist? Is sustainability commercially viable? Probably the bigger question. Maybe it's maybe it's not for for a lot for a lot of places. But anyway, I hope that I um yeah, I don't think I feel I I'm sort of half beluga whale at the moment. Hopefully I can uh hopefully I can start to feel a bit better. That's definitely my pit uh of the week of the conversations and the way I've been talking to myself um in in in my pants at home. In our pants at home, bless you. We all do it, don't we? We all have a we just we stand there and we go, right then. Yeah, what's happening today?

SPEAKER_00 47:16

I call myself Winnie the Pooh when I thought like that. I'll just walk around with my with my really flattering pajama shorts on over my belly when I'm due on, and I'll just look like Winnie the Pooh walking around the house. But I'm the same. I get it totally, but I'm glad hopefully it's subsiding now. What was my pick? Yeah, my pick this week. I'm just a sleepy girl. I've probably done a little bit too much based off this conversation. I I can feel that maybe we're touching the edges of going a little bit too busy again. Um, so yeah, I think I'm gonna, yeah, I'm just a little bit on the on the max capacity side, shall we say? Um, and yeah, I'm grateful that we can even have conversations like this around it and actually realise that perhaps I'm starting to spot some signs in myself, like a little minor eye twitch is creeping back in that maybe I need to pull back a bit. But yeah, it's lessons learned, and I think I'm actually really incredibly grateful that I went through what I did because I now know the early signs is that hang on a second, let's hold it back there. We can work today, but I'm giving my weekend, my the weekend to me to make sure that next week I'm back on my A game, and it's actually having that awareness. And and I guess that I yeah, I'd go back to calling it kind of health intelligence as well, in terms of I've now got data on myself, anecdotally of actually I can feel when things are starting to slip. So, yeah, my pit was I could feel a little bit sleepy this week, but I I don't feel scared about it. I'm like, do you know what? I know this, I can turn this around actually.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

Absolutely. Well, turning that around to uh some good news. Yes, I uh have had a very, very full week, like literally one of those. My you if you look at my diary, every minute is accounted for. Um, and that is okay. And I have done my best. Um I've done what I tend to do is when I walk, I I love my walk to the gym because it's 15 minutes and I ring my I ring my mum or I make any important calls that I need to do. So I'm literally maximising every every single uh minute of of the day to to deliver everything. And I it's yeah, it's just nice sort of getting to this point of the week where I just think, yeah, I've I've I've smashed everything out of the park and uh coming up for me. I've got some some changes um personally and and professionally over the next few weeks. Um so it's just yeah, it's just gonna be just continue continuation of that, and just yeah, trying to get my head round buying this bridesmaid dress is is gonna be every my mum will be so happy. Uh yeah, she's so afraid to because historically, when I've been less mature, if mum had reminded me about something like that, I probably would have barked back and gone, I know, don't you haven't had to tell me. Now that I'm a bit older, I say, Oh yes, thank you so much. No, you are right to kindly remind me. Um but I haven't done it yet. And if you wouldn't mind, can we not talk about that today?

SPEAKER_00 50:04

Understood, understood. Yeah, no, what's my yeah, my pick actually on the off the back of maybe this week being a little bit intense. Like, I'm actually really excited for next week. We've got some new things launching. Just feel like I'm really off the back of like I think just reflections, like immediate reflections. I'm actually excited to to skim my diary down, to tighten it, to make things feel sustainable for longer term as well. And just like actually, I feel really positive that I know exactly what I want to do now, and I just need to actually make my diary reflect that. And and it's so hard, I think. We've talked about this before, but when you're self-employed, when you say no to stuff or when you you put people on a wait list, you feel like you're saying no to money, which can be a bit of a weird feeling, but actually I need to get comfortable with that. And actually, if I want to grow and progress, like we've very much said in this conversation, I've got to pull back somewhere. I can't step forward if I've got so many things on my plate at the moment. So, yeah, off off the back of my pit, actually, I've got a real peak. So, what a what a posty vibe to finish on, babes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

Yeah, that's wonderful. That does bring us to the end of another episode of Fit for What. Thank you to you uh for lending us your ear holes. We look forward to uh chatting with you again for a load of other crap chat, probably. Speak for yourself, right? Yeah, I yeah, I've rated myself crap chat today. Uh next week. Next week, absolutely. Thank you so much for listening. Take care. Bye.