12-Minute Past Relationship Audit to Do Before Bed

If a past relationship is keeping you stuck, don’t wait until midnight to sort through it. In this episode, I walk you through a simple 12-minute evening exercise to separate facts from fantasy, project the pattern forward, and reconnect with your standard. This is about clarity, not spiraling. 

Transcript

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Welcome back to Night Shift with Justin S. King, How to Transform Your Life One Night at a Time. Tonight we're doing a simple relationship audit, specifically if you are evaluating a relationship you've had in the past and want to fully emotionally process that relationship. And it's a good time to do this in the evening when it is quiet, not right before bed, but earlier in the evening, maybe after you've turned off your electronics. So here's the exercise. If you are stuck on someone and don't want to continually relive the pain of that remembrance of that person, sit down earlier in the evening with a notebook and do this three-part review. First, take five minutes and just write down the facts. What happened in the relationship without explaining why, without excuses. You're not gonna write they were busy or they had a lot going on, or they're just complicated. What you're gonna write down is the things they actually did not do. They didn't call, they disappeared, they weren't affectionate one day, they made promises, they didn't follow through. Write down the pattern without a story or explanations, just the facts. You're not attached to what happened, you're attached to the story you made around what happened. Once you've gotten all the facts and the situation down, take four to five minutes of projection and ask yourself if nothing changed, if nothing changes, what does this look like two years from now? The same person, same behavior, same inconsistency, I picture an apology or a breakthrough conversation. Just what would beat life be like if you were still thinking about this person exactly how you are now, two years from now? And third, you're going to write three minutes of standards, write one sentence and repeat it slowly that summarizes everything. For example, I deserve consistency, not confusion, and make it more specific if you need to. I deserve clarity, not mixed signals, I deserve follow-through, not almost. I deserve peace, not constant decoding. I deserve mutual effort, not emotional guesswork. So you're not going to try to stop feeling first, you're just going to write down the facts and then set a new standard. So the feeling stops ruining the whole system. A lot of times you're thinking, how do I stop missing that person? But it's actually why am I still honoring potential over a pattern for a person who didn't actually exist? So if a relationship has been draining you or did in the past, confusing you, and you're still dwelling on it, audit it, take five minutes to go over the facts, four minutes of projection two years from now, and three minutes of new standards. That's how you can stop from blinding discernment. Once you've written that down, close the notebook. You don't need to solve the relationship overnight. You don't need to do anything else. You just need to stop lying to yourself about it. That's it for tonight's episode of Night Shift. My name is Justin S. King, and I help entrepreneurs find peace tonight, tomorrow, and for the rest of their lives through sleep optimization, emotion regulation, and discovering their purpose. Good night.