Why You Resist the Life You Say You Want

Inspired by Day 1 of Tyler Watson’s Full Time Coach Challenge, this episode explores the hidden “allergies” we have toward our ideal life and the “addictions” we have to staying stuck. The moment you say what you truly want, resistance appears. The work is not pretending it is gone. The work is learning how to move through it. 

Transcript

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Welcome back to Night Shift with Justin S. King, how to transform your life one night at a time. Tonight we'll be talking about sharing some of my notes from day one of Tyler Watson's full-time coach challenge. Tyler Watson is a high performance coach and he teaches high performers how to break through limiting beliefs and things that are holding you back. He has two books, The Enrollment Effect and The Alignment Effect. And he helps you to align with your goal while other parts of your body or your mind or thoughts might be resisting what you say you want. My notes from today are from a challenge about becoming a full-time coach, but they apply to everyone. As I've taken some of his other classes, he has he constantly runs challenges, like million, million, uh million dollar body, body challenges, breakthroughs for anything that you might want a breakthrough in. So sometimes the problem isn't that you don't know what you want. The very first episode of Night Shift, I talked about writing down what you want every night. But sometimes the problem is that the moment you say what you want, your body starts to fight it, your mind starts to fight it. And Tyler uses this idea of addictions and allergies. He says the ideals are the things and goals that you want, your ideals can become something that you are allergic to, meaning you're allergic to obtaining that thing. And your non-ideals or the things that you don't want can become something that you're addicted to. So if you're trying to go away from something, it will be harder to get away because you're addicted to that state, his ideas. So for example, if you say I want to build a business that gives me time and money freedom, immediately butts show up. But what if I fail? What if it consumes my whole life? But what if I go worldwide and I lose all my peace? But what if everyone is waiting on me and I can't handle the pressure? So that desire comes up and then the resistance comes up right behind it. So that is the allergy. You want the ideal, but part of you reacts against it. And according to my notes from today, the reaction is not just a thought in your head. It is tied to part past perceptions, old experiences, and patterns that feel stored in the body. In other words, your nervous system may not interpret your dream as freedom, it may interpret it as danger. More responsibility equals more judgment, more judgment, equals more pressure, more chances to fail. So you pull back, and not because you're lazy, but because part of you is allergic to the next version of your life. And then on the flip side, we have the non-ideal life. The non-ideal goals can become an addiction. Your staying stuck costs a lot. It costs time, it costs money, costs peace. But it's familiar and comfortable. The familiar mess can feel safer than the unfamiliar miracle. That's why people say they want change, but keep repeating the same patterns. They're not addicted because the pattern is good. They're addicted because the pattern is known. Scrolling instead of posting, studying instead of selling, planning instead of doing. So as you wait for clarity instead of creating the clarity through movement, you're saying I'm not ready yet, because right readiness feels safer than exposure. So everything comes back to getting clear on what you actually want, not what sounds impressive, not what makes you look spiritual, not what other people expect you to want. What do you really want? And just as important, what are you afraid of? Fear exposes the addiction. Your desire, your want exposes the allergy. So if you say you want to make $100,000, what comes up? What's the first thought? Is it fear of being judged, seen people down, never done it before? So the resistance is not random. It's a map. The goal is not to pretend you have no resistance. The goal is to see the opposition clearly and decide who you need to become inside of it. That was a big idea from the class. It's not just about destination, it's about who you are while moving towards it. Can you want something without immediately apologizing for wanting it? Can you take action while resisting is present? Can you still fear and still post? So the question for tonight is if you could want what you want without all the butts, what would you want? Write down one thing, be specific. And then you want to write that thing out as if it already happened. For example, you can say, I'm so grateful and thankful now that I have, now that I am, now that I. And then if you want to go a little bit farther, you can ask what resistance shows up when you say that out loud? So that's the first part of the first exercise of day one of his notes. Um this is a five-day challenge, so I will most likely share notes from tomorrow's challenge, tomorrow night. So if you want to follow along, do that exercise tonight or when you listen to this. If you could want what you want without all the butts, what would you want? What resistance, uh, allergies, what addictions come up when you think when you say that saying? And then phrase it this way. I am so grateful and thankful now that I have, now that I am. That's it for tonight's episode of Night Shift. My name is Justin S. King, and I help entrepreneurs find peace tonight, tomorrow, and for the rest of their lives through sleep optimization, emotion regulation, and discovering their purpose. Tune in to tomorrow's episode to find out what to do with that statement that you write down tonight.