I failed my diet

Yep, you heard that right. I "failed" my most recent calorie deficit. Back in the spring I intended to go into a calorie deficit and it has not gone according to plan.

In today's episode I'm pulling back on the curtain to explain why this happens and what to do when it does.

It's so easy to try and push harder but when you can take a step back and recognize the season of life you're in and the capacity you have, you can shift goals in a way that makes sense for you that keeps you progressing (even if it looks differently than you expected).

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey friend, welcome back to Stronger Within, the podcast for women who are done chasing quick fixes and are ready to build real strength and lasting change from the inside out. I'm your host, Christy Magri, and here we talk about becoming stronger within in your body, your mindset, and the daily habits that shape your life. If you're ready to build a body and life you feel confident in for good, you're in the right place. Today's episode is very off the cuff. I literally did no planning for this. Typically, when I go into recording a podcast episode, I've at least taken my big topic and broken it down into sections, knowing what I'm talking about throughout the way. This one literally just came to me and I was like, I have to share this. I feel called to share this. So we're just on the fly here. But I failed my diet. I'm pretty sure that's what I'm gonna title this episode, anyways. And I really want to share this moment with you because I think it is so easy to look at fitness professionals or coaches or someone who's lost a lot of weight and think, you have it all together. It comes so easy for you. You never struggle. And I'll be honest with you, it is hard for me to share that sometimes I struggle because I'm like, okay, well, I'm the coach, I'm the one who's supposed to be able to help you. If I can't help myself, how can I help you? But that's kind of a silly mindset to have. It's like this imposter syndrome. Um, but I want to be real with y'all because it's so normal to struggle in different seasons of life. And I want to walk you through today what this has looked like. So, for context, I started my calorie deficit, my most recent fat loss phase back in the beginning of April, and it has not gone how I wanted it to. So we ended up traveling to North Carolina the second week of April, so literally one week into my deficit, and that was one thing. Then we just have had various things going on. We went to Legoland for the weekend. Um, you know, we are moving 12 hours away, that's like the biggest one. So we've been spending time with friends and family. Our house is covered in moving boxes, there are so many different moving pieces right now. Um, I'm trying to finish all the food that I have in my fridge and freezer because we can't take anything with us, so I'm just like throwing together kind of random stuff. Um, but mostly the two biggest reasons why I feel it's been hard for me to see the results I want to see. Well, if we actually zoom out for a second, I am losing the last like 15 to 20 pounds. I've lost around 50 pounds since having Chloe. And so with it being the last 15 to 20 pounds and me being a petite individual, I am barely 411. I have to be so extremely dialed in when it comes to my deficit. I have a very, very small margin of error, like room for a small margin of error. Is that how you say it? I don't know, but I could basically cannot f up. Like if I go over by a few hundred calories one singular day, like that's it. I'm probably not in a deficit for the week. And so this is basically what's been happening is that like I'm doing really good during the week, and I'm also staying dialed in on the weekends, and I have not missed a day of tracking since I started my fat loss phase. However, I will have days where I'll go over by like 200, 300 calories on the weekend because we're enjoying a meal out, and for where I am in my journey too, my deficit calories are a little bit lower. They're nothing unrealistic or extreme. You know, I'm not about that, but just for where I am, my body type, that is what I have to do to be in a deficit, unfortunately. Now, I have built a decent amount of muscle on my body so I can eat more than maybe somebody who might be my same size because I have more muscle, but still it's it's just hard losing the last 15 to 20 pounds, is all I'll say. The other reason why I don't think that this fat loss phase has gone according to plan is because my body has been under a lot of stress. Like I said, we are about to make a huge life transition. I am feeling stress now that it's getting closer and closer, and my body, I can tell, is just not having it. Like I've been feeling exhausted, even though I'm getting enough sleep, and I am a very spiritual woo-woo girly, whatever you want to call it. And they say that right before you're about to go through a quantum leap, which is just like a huge shift in your life or in your timeline, like shit is about to get fucked up, everything's about to change in a good way. Um, you just feel exhausted, and that is kind of where I'm at. And so I'm like, okay, well, is it because I'm stressed that my body's not responding? Because I am doing a lot of the right things. It's like I'm going over a tiny bit each week, but my body is just not responding, and so that could potentially be a piece of it. Um, and so we know that when your body is under an extreme amount of stress, the last thing that your body is going to prioritize is fat loss. And so I'm like, okay, well, I'm working hard and like working to stay in this deficit for what? Like, it's just so frustrating that here we are, and it's like been weeks and weeks, and I'm feel like I've pretty much seen zero progress in this fat loss phase. And it's very frustrating, I'll be real with you. But the question I had to ask myself a few weeks ago was like, okay, do you basically lock in, double down, really focus on losing the fat now? Like F everything else, F the social events, just dial it in, lock in, or do you go through a reverse diet, work your way up to maintenance phase, and really enjoy this time and season in your life, spending time with friends and family before you're about to move 12 hours away, not stressing out about going out to dinner with friends because you have to hit your macro to the gram. And for me, I think I knew that answer, but it was hard for me because I'm like, well, yeah, I want to lose body fat, especially going into this summer. I'm not where I want to be. But it's like I also have to be realistic with myself about the season of life that I'm in, the phase that I'm in, and clearly this is not the phase that I am meant to be in right now, and that is hard for me to admit because I want to focus on that, and it is a priority to me, and I know I would feel more confident 20 pounds lighter, but I also know that I can focus on that during any season, and what's the rush? Because I know that I don't want to be looking back a year from now and be like, I was so focused on hitting my macros perfectly and losing the weight right now that I missed out on all of these moments with my friends and family and placed even more stress and pressure on myself and for what? And the good news is if you are somebody who is in your journey and you have more weight to lose, like 30 plus pounds, you probably have a larger um, you have more room for like margin of error, or if you are not below five feet like I am, it's different for me because I am a petite individual, it's last 15 to 20 pounds, but for you, I don't want you to think that you can't focus on yourself in certain seasons if there's a lot going on, but I do think it is important to be really realistic with what effort do I actually have to give in this season of life? Because here's where I see a lot of moms go wrong is they're like, okay, well, my goal is fat loss, and so I'm gonna, you know, be really consistent, but then they're only consistent Monday through Thursday, Monday through Friday. The weekend comes and there's all these social things going on, they're not tracking, they're not doing what they're supposed to, and it's like, well, there you just lost 30% of your week, and it can feel kind of extreme when it's like, oh my god, I have to track seven days a week. And the way that I teach fat loss to my clients is through macro tracking. I am a huge believer in macro tracking being the most effective way to reach your goals because it gives you flexibility, but it also gives you structure. You are gonna have to say no to things. You are gonna have to pay attention to your portion sizes, you are gonna have to weigh your food and track it. However, if we are only doing that partial of the week, you know what's gonna happen? It's gonna be week after week, month after month, where you are putting in a lot of effort, you're doing a lot of work, but things aren't changing the way that you want them to, because you're only giving like a D or C level effort. And so this is where it becomes really important to look at those four different phases of dieting, knowing what those four different phases are, and saying, Do I actually have the capacity to put in the effort that I need to be putting in for a calorie deficit right now? Because otherwise you're gonna be feel like you're dieting 365 days a year. When you're in a deficit, you really should not be there for more than four to six months at most. But what happens is you end up stretching it out for longer, never actually seeing the results because you're kind of half-assing it. And so this is where it becomes really important to put timeline, a timeline on things to know start date, end date, what's the next phase, what are we moving on to? We're always focusing on a goal. We are always prioritizing healthy habits, so don't get it twisted for just because I'm moving out of my calorie deficit, I'm just throwing up my hands and saying, well, I'm just gonna stop tracking and eat whatever I want and do whatever. That's not what that is. It is a very strategic process going through a reverse diet and even a maintenance phase. Like you shouldn't only have healthy habits in your life for the sake of weight loss, and that's one of the cool things about this journey is we start our weight loss journey from a place of obviously wanting to lose weight, and that's why we adopt these healthy habits, but then you start to realize I want this to be a lifestyle. Eating healthy makes me feel better, you know. I enjoy eating enough protein because I actually feel satisfied and I don't feel like I have constant cravings all the time. And getting to the point where eating healthy, uh, working out, doing all the things, it feels as second nature as brushing your teeth in the morning. That's what I always tell my clients. The goal is to get to that point, and so whether we're in a fat loss phase or not, you can't revert back to old habits. You still have to show up consistently and do the dang thing day after day. The only thing that changes is your portions, how many calories you have in a day. Um, and so all of that to say it was stuck between two decisions of either I stay in this fat loss phase, I miss out on these certain moments, or I kind of make sacrifices there, or I transition out, go through a reverse diet, go up to maintenance, and I chose that second option. And I'm working my way through my reverse diet right now, and I'll be honest with you, it's frustrating because I'm like, hello, I have goals I want to read, but also I know that I can just kind of like remap my year out, and this is something I do at the beginning of every year in my fitness journey and with my clients, is we look ahead and we look at okay, what months during the year do we have the capacity to actually be consistent with our deficit? Maybe for you, summer is not a good time. Maybe you camp frequently or you're on vacations or the kids are home and you don't want to have to worry about having to be so on top of your macros. I do still suggest tracking at your maintenance calories or doing your reverse diet or whatever you need to do. For me, I know that the holidays typically not a time. I want to be in a reverse diet. I love the holiday food, hot chocolate, cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning. Like, I don't want to have to stress about being in a deficit around the holiday time. So when I mapped out my year this year, we didn't know that we were moving in July. We knew we were gonna be moving this year, but we didn't really know when it was gonna be happening. And so I think when I mapped out my year and I planned for my deficit at this time, I just didn't really take into account everything that was gonna be going on. And so, all of that to say, yeah, I quote unquote failed my diet. I also don't believe that failure is ever really possible unless you throw up your hands and you give up forever. Because I am a prime example of someone who quote unquote failed hundreds of times and finally, you know, overcame that and was successful after a certain period of time. So it's not failure, and the way that I like to look at it is just like when we talk about the all or nothing mindset, it's like driving on the highway to a brand new destination you've never been to before. You have the address plugged into your GPS, your kids are driving you crazy in the backseat, so you miss the exit. You're just gonna add a couple minutes to your trip, but your GPS is gonna reroute you, you're still gonna get there. There is no stress, it is a marathon, not a sprint. We don't have to worry about getting it done right now. Yes, we still do want to adopt the healthy habits, we still want to look good. It's not that again, just because we're not focusing on fat loss right now that we're we're not doing anything, but it's okay if that's not the season that you are meant to be in right now. And for most of my clients, my coaching has evolved a ton throughout the last six, almost seven years, which is crazy to say that it's been that long. But one of the most recent ways that I've changed as a coach is I will not put a client into a fat loss phase until they've earned it. I want to see you track consistently at maintenance calories for at least 30 days. At least 30 days before I'm gonna put you into a deficit. And there's a reason for that because I would have clients who would come into the program, I would put them right at a deficit and it's like they weren't being consistent, and then I'm like, crap, six months have gone by and you're still at your deficit calories, you're still not getting to where you want to be. Now your metabolism has downregulated. I have learned my lesson that I'm gonna start you off higher and we're gonna earn the right to move into that deficit. Because if you don't have 95% or more compliance to give, you're not ready to be in a fat loss phase. You can't build a house without having the foundation. You need to build the foundation first, and then you can build the rest of the house. You can focus on the fat loss goal. Most of y'all try to do it backwards where you're like, okay, I'm gonna build a healthy lifestyle as I start the diet, and that is what often messes you up in the process. So again, it is so important to look at whatever phase of life you're in and really asking, what capacity do I have right now? Can I actually be consistent? If not, how can I focus on being consistent with these habits, creating these new habits in my life that I want to feel automatic while I have more food, while I have more flexibility? That truly is the key. So, all of that to say, yes, I quote unquote failed my diet. That's okay. My kind of game plan now is to maintain through July, obviously, because we're gonna be moving and I'm so nervous too, so we're not gonna have our stuff for quite a few days. Are we are doing the pod, so it's like the um storage unit or whatever, storage container that they'll drop off. You can load it up. They're gonna pick ours up July 13th, and then it won't get delivered to the new house in North Carolina until July 23rd. So there's gonna be like 10 days where we don't have any of our stuff. Um, and so all of that to say like there's probably gonna be more eating out than normal, and we're not, I mean, we'll probably keep a couple dishes in the house and just drive them down in the car, but it's gonna be it's gonna be interesting. I want to vlog this whole journey. I really need to start videoing things and like bringing y'all through this process. Also, a kind of like as a video diary to myself, I want to be able to look back on it. But anyways, all of that to say, I'm just gonna reverse diet all of June. I'm working my way through my reverse right now. I'm gonna maintain in the month of July, potentially the month of August, probably the month of August, because there's gonna be a lot going on with getting acclimated to a whole new state. Um, and then September, I'm probably gonna do a shorter cut in the fall, anywhere between eight to twelve weeks, and then start reverse dieting into the holidays. That's my plan for right now. But if you are going into every single month with no plan, we gotta talk because you need to actually know what you are focusing on month by month. Be very strategic about when you're in your fat loss phase, your reverse diet, your maintenance, etc. And if you are like, I don't understand this, then you need to come work with me, okay? I have a few one-on-one coaching spots available before we move during a few months when we're move or during a few weeks when we're moving in the months of July and August. I will not be taking on new one-on-one clients. So now is the best time so that you can be so far ahead of people who started when back to school, when the kids are back to school, like now is the best time to start. We just did that episode on why summer is the best time to prioritize your fat loss goals as a mom. So just something to consider. Um, you can apply for one-on-one coaching through the link in the show notes. But hopefully that off-the-fly episode wasn't all over the place. Hopefully, it made sense. Um, and I yeah, I just want to share with you that nobody is perfect in this journey. And the people who you think are perfect probably have you fooled and they're not actually perfect, but remember that the goal is to build healthy habits throughout any season of life, whether you're in a fat loss phase or not, you are making the healthy decision because it is what is best for you and your body and what makes you feel best, not just because you're trying to lose weight. Alrighty, if this episode gave you an aha moment, I would love for you to share it with a friend or you can screenshot it and share it on Instagram, tag me. The more moms we can help and reach, the better. And until next time, keep becoming stronger within.