Episode 16 - Summer Reset: Prepare Now, Thank Yourself Later

We're back! 🎙️

After an accidental summer break before summer even started, we're catching up on all the end-of-school chaos, spirit weeks, graduations, and the inevitable round of sickness that seemed determined to kick off our summer plans.

If you're entering summer feeling more exhausted than refreshed, you're not alone.

In this episode, we share what moms in our community are craving more of this summer—rest, connection, slow mornings, adventure, and intentional time with their kids—and what's feeling hardest right now, from balancing work and family to feeling responsible for everyone's happiness.

Together, we're talking about how to create a Summer Reset that gives you the permission slip you need and create rhythms that actually work for your family.

Because summer doesn't need to be perfect to be meaningful.

In This Episode:

☀️ Why summer often feels harder than we expect

☀️ What moms really want more (and less) of this season

☀️ How to decide how you want summer to feel before filling your calendar

☀️ The difference between creating rhythm and creating rigidity

☀️ Our personal Summer Permission Slips

☀️ A simple "Prepare Now, Thank Yourself Later" challenge

Favorite Takeaways:

✨ Moms aren't asking for more activities. They're asking for more peace, presence, and connection.

✨ You are not responsible for creating a magical summer every single day.

✨ Kids need a present mom more than they need a perfect summer.

✨ Protecting your energy isn't selfish—it's what helps everyone enjoy summer more.

Your Summer Reset Challenge:

Choose ONE thing this week that future-you will appreciate.

Maybe it's planning easy meals, scheduling downtime, setting family expectations, or letting go of something that no longer serves your family.

A little preparation today can create a lot more peace later.

Prepare now. Thank yourself later.

Connect with us on Instagram @messymindedmama and tell us:

👉 What's one thing you want MORE of this summer? 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Welcome to Messy Minded Mama, a podcast for moms who look managed but might feel a bit messy on the inside. I'm Kate.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

And I'm Jen. And we are here creating space for real talk about motherhood, mental health, and the invisible load so many women carry. Welcome back to Messy Minded Mama. We know it's been a minute, maybe more than a minute. I think it's been a couple weeks since you've heard from us. And for all good reason, Kate, it is so good to see you today. I have missed you, friend.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

I've missed you too. It's been forever. And I'm sad we're not in person, but I'd rather not share my germs with you and also scheduling. Yeah, and same.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

You don't need my germs either. So maybe we catch up with each other and bring everyone along. Like, what have we been doing for the last two, three weeks when we haven't seen each other and we haven't been here in this space either?

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Yeah, we took a summer break before summer break actually started to really enjoy, I feel like is a really weird word to use for how the end of May felt, but maybe enjoy the end of the school year and live in the chaos. Uh, I left my job to fully embrace the therapy life. And we have both been so sick. Yep. But you had an exciting end of the school year with Miss L.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

I did. Oh my gosh. My little five-year-old, five, she's will be six in September, and she reminds me of that all the time. But she graduated kindergarten. And let me tell you, the little cap and gown that they put these children in, and because she's my baby, I think, like emotions hit a little bit harder than they did last year with Jack. So my big girl is like all grown up now, graduated kindergarten. So we had a very special end of our year.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

It is special, and the pictures were so cute. She looked so sweet. And I do feel like every time your youngest hits a new milestone, or it's like the last time you're gonna be doing something, it does hit differently. Like your first, it's like, oh, it's my baby, and they're doing it. And that hits one way, and then your last baby doing it just also feels different because it's the last time you're gonna be doing that.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

And I think kindergarten, you just see like such a big transformation in your kids anyway. So going back and thinking about like beginning of the year L versus like end of the year L, I'm just like, oh my gosh, she changed so much this year. And you're right, I think that hits a little bit harder too when you're like, oh my gosh, she truly is growing up.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Yeah, the little babies, she's flying the kind into first grade, and Bryn is going into second. And I feel like even her transformation through first grade, like she's a young lady, not so much like kid face, even her like physical features, but she looks so much like a young lady now. And I'm like, stop it, yeah, stop growing.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

I know they keep saying that about Jack too. Like anyone that sees him is he's growing a foot this year. I'm like, I know just his height alone makes him look so much more grown up than he did at the beginning of the year.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Oh, these sweet kids and little Sawyer, she's just my little sour patch, you know, running wild. But her vocabulary just astonishes me. So there's the growth is so fun to see, and I don't know, it just really felt like an end of an era over here for some reason, even though it's like Brinch is going in a second and Sawyer's continuing at preschool. But it did, it just felt like a weird end of an era for the school year.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

I agree, and I think for both of us, I think the summer is gonna look a little different than we were accustomed to too. So I wonder if there was like this end-of-the-year chaos that we're talking about and all the exciting things, but all just these kids growing up and trying to keep up with all those changes, and then also going through like our own changes and what this summer looks like and how that is transforming. I think all of it together just felt like a lot.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Yeah, it's definitely it like didn't really hit me. I knew summer was gonna be different because it looks different for me where I'm not working for the county for the full-time job anymore, um, and really focusing on the therapy. But I built my schedule in such a way that I have more time with the kids. And this is the first week of that, and my mom's here this week, so it feels different than it will the rest of summer because she has the kids for part of it and is taking them to do some fun stuff. But on Tuesday, I got to just like sit by the pool and watch them play, and then they're old enough that I don't have to be right there next to them. And I just got to like soak up the sun and watch them play. And I was telling Taylor, I was like, this is great, I love this, but I feel like I'm on vacation, like it hasn't hit me that I don't have to go back to what's the next crisis on call. Not that I didn't love that work, I did, but my stress level feels so different because I definitely feel like in vacation mode a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Well, well deserved to you, Kate. Congratulations. I think it's again, you are taking all of this energy that you were so invested in the job that you were doing, and now I know you're gonna take that same level and put that into this work in this next chapter, and so proud of you for taking that leap and being able to do that. So well-deserved little Tuesday by the pool, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Thank you. I'm excited. Tomorrow's a beach day, so we're excited for beach for us because you know, Colorado landlocked, it just means going to the lake, but we call it the beach.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Yeah, I will probably see you there. I will also be doing a like date tomorrow, so that'll be fun.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Are you? Yeah, yeah. Well, we will probably all be there then. Perfect. I love it. Love that. And summer for you looks different this year than really you could originally had thought. Talk about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah. So I don't know why I thought this was a good idea at the beginning of like summer planning to put my kids in four different camps this year. So every week looks a little different because of that. But it will be all good. Last year we did one camp and just for Jack, and it just wasn't the best experience. That's probably where that came from. It's like, let's mix it up, let's get Jack and Elle together and like a variety of things and figure out what they really like. Um, I've also picked up more clients recently, so now it's this balance of okay, I have them in a camp, which is good, at least three days a week. Three days a week, I'm like fully working, and then yeah, trying to slow down and still balance it all in a way that I'm not totally accustomed to still of more time with them. That was my whole reason for all the things, right? So trying to balance that, but also still trying to grow the businesses and be able to take on more clients and do the work that I enjoy there too. So still navigating it, still wrapping my head around this, like week by week, where are we? What's happening schedule, but excited to dive into that for sure.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Yeah, I think that talks a lot about just parenthood too, of like routine always feels for me anyway. And I think a lot of parents, there's a lot of talk about routine, and routine feels so nice. A lot of people thrive in routine, they talk about routine through every stage of child development and you know how that helps for kids. And I feel like you have to be really flexible as a parent, especially in summer, because your routine kind of goes out the door in a lot of ways, but you still want it. But things change, or you know, earlier this week your kids weren't so crazy about camp. Yeah, and so things can shift. And so I I think it's it's that you know, two things can be true at once. We want routine and we thrive in routine, and we have to thrive within flexibility all at the same time. And I think you're living proof of that right now.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Totally. And can we can we give that a minute? My trying to get my kids to camp and I couldn't get them there. You guys know I've talked about when one kid's sick, I can't get the other one to school. I had both kids in the car crying on the second day of camp on a camp that they had been to before for after school, on a place I thought they would enjoy, and they were both like, no, we're not going. And I took them home. I still, I still need help, and I still don't know how to get my kids where they're supposed to be on at any given time. But I my sketch, again, this is why the world that we're building, right? This pivot that we've had in our careers and having some of that flexibility, I was able to say, okay, we're not gonna do it today and bring them home and manage my day alongside them. And I love, I wish I could get them to camp, but I love the flexibility to say, we don't have it today, we don't have to do that today.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Yeah. And I love that you give them that autonomy. You know, sometimes it's like you have to go because you have to go. Yep. And it just is what it is. And I feel like so many kids really struggle with that because there's not a lot of choices that kids feel like they get to make. They don't have a lot of sense of control and power because they're kids, and so much is dictated to them by adults. And the fact that you really let them lean into that of I'm not feeling it today. I want to stay home. And of course, there's days that obligations and responsibilities have to be filled and they just have to do it.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

But to allow them that space and and comfortability to say, I'm not doing it today, and to say, okay, we can adjust in this moment, yeah, I think is is really powerful for them. Yeah, bravo for that.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Thank you. And I think I struggle with that too of like, am I giving in when I shouldn't, and how am I gonna get them there next time? But what I found with my kids in particular is like, if I can give them that space and then spend a little bit more time explaining to them and preparing them for like the next time that we do have to go and can't make that same choice, then it seems to go over a little better, right? Like they're appreciative of getting to make those choices in that moment on the days where I do have flexibility and the days like next week, they have to go back there. They know that we are continuing every day now to have conversations around what next week looks like, and I do think it'll go better because they got to choose this time and now they have more time to prepare for next time. So it yeah, it ends up being a win-win for everybody, I think. When we can do that, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

I we have similar conversations. Sawyer, every night is where am I going in the morning? She even does that during the school year. Yeah, and it's the same place, the same thing we do every day, Sawyer. And then she asks again in the morning, where am I going today? As if she goes different places every single day. Um, but we we do that too, where we prep her the night before. And sometimes she'll say, I don't want to do that. And some days, again, she has to, and especially because she's little, I can't always have her home. Yeah. And so I'll say, you know, I know you don't want to, and I will come get you as soon as I can. But we do have to go to school or we do have to go to camp tomorrow. Usually when we say we get to go to Nana, she's like, Yes. Um, that's her new thing, is like, yes, all the time. Uh, but it's it is hard. And there are days where some days I get it too. I don't always want to have to go somewhere. Totally.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Yeah, and I think my kids say the same thing about like Grammy. We want to go, well, we'll just get a babysitter, we'll go to Grammy's Day. And I'm like, well, Grammy's in Nashville on vacation. Like, you can't go, you can't just go to Grammy's today. But I love that they love going those places. But yeah, it's also like we just have to prepare them, bring them along with these changes. And I think it does speak to like the routine you were talking about earlier. So important for them, it's important for us, and just kind of trying to find that where we can or at least prepare for changes as needed is helpful.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Absolutely. I think this really goes through some of what mom's told us too. We put out some questions uh on Instagram when we were talking about what what episode we were gonna do when we came back around. We we found the time uh to come back and we wanted to really talk about summer because summer holds so many expectations, it holds some pressure, it holds fun, and it can feel a little chaotic. And so we put it out to all of you about uh what what it what does summer look like? What do you want? What feels hard? And so we thought maybe we'd read some of them. Yeah. So I will let you talk about what do we want more of this summer from our own perspectives of what we've talked about, but also what people have told us they want.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Yeah, so I love being able to hear from our audience. What people want more of this summer was intentional fun time with their kids, time where they can turn off, time where they can be present, but in addition, more rest. So I think both of those, it's like, how do you find that balance with it? And I think we'll get into that today in this session of just some ways to be able to kind of create space for both. I think for me, it rest speaks to me all the time. I would love a little bit more rest and to have like these restful periods, but for me, it would be slow mornings for sure. Slowing down, not having to feel rushed, and trying intentionally to plan my schedule so that I have like a built-in buffer, right? Like intentionally plan out some slow mornings.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

I love that. I I really was looking at the intentional fun time with kids where you can turn off and and be present, and that's been really on my mind lately as I make this transition. And I think for so many of us, even if we're physically with our kids, and we've talked about this before of the mental load, right? We're carrying the grocery list and the laundry and the work and all the things. And so, my goal this summer, what I want more of, is to actually be where my feet are. I want my brain and my body to fully be where I physically am, enjoying the moment. So when we're at the pool, I'm at the pool. I'm not thinking about the next five things. If we're riding bikes, which is a huge thing in our house right now, Brynn learned to ride her two-wheeler without training wheels. And so every night's like bike ride, bike ride. But if we're riding bikes, I want to be riding bikes and not stressed about all the other things, which is really hard to do and turn it off. But that is really my goal is to just be in the moment and be present.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Yeah. And so important to be able to do that. I think for you, maybe more than anyone right now. It's like you've spent so much time not being able to necessarily find that balance or have that right given to you when you're always on call. And here's your time. Like, take advantage of that and really focus on that. I think it'll be so good for you. I'm excited about it.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

It's gonna take practice, sure, I think. Um, but I think what what we heard a lot of from Instagram followers and and listeners who have messaged us is it's not more activities. It's not please let me fill the calendar. It's peace, presence, and connection. Yep. And I resonate with that wholeheartedly.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Me too. Yeah. So I think going into that, thinking about what we want permission to do less of, I want to have less activities that are planned, right? Like again, my four camps are enough for me to keep track of. I don't need a whole bunch of other activities. So that's one thing for me. I what we've heard from some others is they want less of the overstressing, overthinking, over planning, right? My favorite running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Like, please. Yes, that resonates so well.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Yeah, and I think the ability to be a little spontaneous and be like, you know what, today we are gonna go do this, or which isn't necessarily realistic if you're working the typical Monday through Friday, nine to five. Yeah, but maybe you can be a little spontaneous in the evening because it is summer and you don't have to follow that super rigid you know, structure of when you get home and it's this, this, this, and this. And I know they still have to get up for camp and all of that, but it's light outside. And can you give yourself 10 minutes of spontaneity even? And just slowly build some of that fun in. And I know for me, like the permission to do less of is to not feel like I have to make every moment magical and maximize it and make it like this wonderful. I'm not a Pinterest perfect mom anyway. That's just I really aspire to be to have some of that, and I just don't. Um, but to really just have time without feeling like I have to manage every moment and just let it be kind of free, which goes against so much of who I think I am. Yeah. Um, but to really embrace that part.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Yeah, and I'm hearing it'll be a challenge for you, right? But that's the beauty of the summer, the summer reset, we're calling it, right? This ability to rethink things and not just follow what feels most natural to you, but challenge yourself to do something a little different and see how that feels. Because if it feels even better, I think that can become the next natural thing to do.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Exactly. And letting ourselves, I don't know, I've been this is something I've said a lot lately, but kind of let ourselves dream a little bit, right? Of like, okay, it is summer. So, like, what could that look like? And let yourself fall into that a little bit because summer is just kind of like this, I don't know, it feels different, feels lighter.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Maybe it's just the sunshine, but yeah, it feels like this magical time for me that then when I get bogged down with like any stress of it, then I get really frustrated, right? So I'm like, I want it to be this magical time. So it's like, how do you create that around you to be able to say, like, okay, it doesn't have to be so hard.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Yeah, and hard, right? We we asked about what's the hardest parts of summer, and a lot of the responses we got was asking the kids to slow down, lack of routine, constantly entertaining the kids. I don't know about you, but when I hear I'm bored, it's like nails on a chalkboard for me. It makes me so angry. Yeah, totally. Um, and then like feeling responsible for other people's happiness. I those are some of like the really those are some of the ones we heard a few times actually. And I think so many moms walk in to summer and are like, I have to be a cruise director and an activities coordinator and the snack manager and the memory maker and this, this, this, and this. And that's a lot. So it's like that does feel hard. I I get it.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yeah. So how do we kind of release some of that? How do we do this summer reset to decide what we want our summer to look like and then really lean into that? I think if if you're out there and you are already as exhausted as Kate and I are go just going into the summer, like you are not alone. We need this conversation just as much as anyone else does today. So let's dive into like how can we give some tools, talk through some things to actually be able to help ourselves and help other moms out there do this summer reset. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

I know something that that we've talked about and that we use in therapy quite often is the idea of like a permission slip. Yeah, sometimes we need to give ourselves permission and say it's okay. So, what would be, you know, one to three? Yeah. You can do as many as you'd like. Yeah. But uh permission slips that you would give yourself that you I think it's helpful sometimes if you're not used to doing this, to maybe writing it out for yourself, yeah. Of literally making a permission slip and hanging it up where you can see it. Yeah. Um, I feel like once you get in the practice of it, just repeating it to yourself is okay. But sometimes it's nice to have like the piece of paper. And if you need it, maybe we'll create one and put it on Instagram for you and you can go download it and fill it out. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Um, I love it. I already have mine created because I love what you're saying. Of pick something that isn't natural to you, right? Pick something that doesn't come as easy and then put that somewhere where you can say, today's the day. I'm gonna focus on this because you know it would be helpful, especially when it's not something that comes easy. It's worth your time to invest in it and try to make it um more a part of your day-to-day. So, do you want to hear my three? I have three.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

I do want to hear them, yeah. Okay, I wanted I'm curious what your three are gonna look like compared to my three, because my guess is there's some stark differences, but I also think there's gonna be overlap. Totally.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

Okay, you want all three right now? I want all three. All three. Okay. Ask for help without guilt. So challenging for me. I the without guilt part is so challenging. I ask for help, but then I automatically think, oh, I should have just done it myself, or I come up with the reasons why it would have been easier to do it myself, all the things. So asking for help without guilt is probably my top one. I'm really working on. Yeah. Say no without over-explaining. Like, why can't no just be no? Why do I be, Jen? It can be. Why can't it be like that for me? I oh I am an over-explainer through and through. Um, so that is another one I feel is challenging but an important one. And then Tyler and I were actually just talking about this the other night and his desire for more spontaneity. And me is not the right way to respond to him in the moment was I can't, we have too much going on. It's like, no, I love being spontaneous. I want to do that with you. I want to do that with our kids. I want to make sure that we're infusing spontaneity into our summer. So being a little more spontaneous or maybe a lot more spontaneous this summer is on my list as well.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

I love those. And they are different than mine, but also similar. It's so funny. And I feel like mine kind of have a like a similar theme. Like they probably could just be one, but they're three. So my first one was I give myself permission to choose connection over productivity. Okay. Because I feel like I have always been go, go, go. And I've had to actually redefine what productive means for me. And I was actually listening to a different podcast. But he was saying that productivity can actually mean picking three things rather than having to do your whole checklist. And I really like that because I feel like the to-do is never ends. It is constant. And there's always things adding to it. And it's never going to always be done. Yeah. There's never going to be a day that I can sit down and just be like, everything is done. Something can always be done. Those baseboards can always be clean together. Right. And so re really redefining what productivity means for me, which could mean I do three things for that day. And those three things mean that I was productive. And they can be small things. And so really giving myself permission to say that load of laundry can sit there. I'm going to go outside and ride bikes and have a popsicle. Because there won't be another summer where my girls are three and seven. Yeah. And that for me, I just want to live in that moment.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

Yeah. And makes that connection so much more worth it when you put it that way. Like you, this is your one shot to get connection with them at this point in their life, right? So yeah, leaning into that is a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

So that's my first one. And the second one kind of goes hand in hand, but letting the ordinary days be enough. I don't have to have a big adventure every day. I love taking them hiking and paddleboarding and to the zoo and whatever. But also blowing up the blow-up pool in the backyard and sitting outside is enough. I don't have to like go out of my way and I don't have to spend a ton of money to make it a memorable summer.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

I think that goes back to the boredom thoughts too of like the kids saying I'm bored. And I think we've heard this before, but like boredom is not an emergency. They can sit in that and be okay in that. And I think those are sometimes the ordinary days don't have to look glorified, right? They don't have to be glamorous in every way, and boredom can be a part of it, and that is okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Yeah, you have to almost learn how to be bored in order to learn how to relax. And so I'm they always say, I'm bored. Can I have the iPad? I'm like, no, no, you cannot have the iPad just because you're bored. Yeah. Right? Like we have all these toys. So um something that, you know, ordinary is okay. And then the third one, which really goes to what you were saying too, and kind of a theme of yours, especially the asking for help piece, is enjoying it without guilt. Right. Of I I want to sometimes I need to ask for help without the guilt. I need to be able to enjoy this and not feel like I have to earn the rest because I I feel like I did. Um, but I don't have to keep trying to earn rest. I can just be happy in this moment and and let myself be okay with it and enjoy a slower summer.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Yeah, and I think goes hand in hand with what you said about productivity, right? It's like if you can feel accomplished with your list of small three things that you did, then you can enjoy the rest without guilt because you are kind of checking off both boxes, right? Like I've already gotten that part out of the way, and now everything else is what's important and is productivity, and I can enjoy it.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Yeah, yeah. I love I think if you take all six, right? Your three, my three, it's like it's a good reset, right? We're asking for help, we're not carrying everything, we're letting ourselves slow down and enjoy it, we're increasing spontaneity, we're choosing connection over productivity, which goes hand in hand. It's all of those are interconnected into allowing ourselves to slow down and be a human rather than trying to be super mom. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Yes, I love this. And I think we just solved all the problems. I did too. I think we could just stop. I already feel better. There are no more summer problems. When you say it out loud, when you start to actually envision putting it into practice, I think that's the biggest thing that I'm so far walking away with out of this conversation. Is it's it's no longer just on my phone and my notes at this little dream of a plan. It's actually something that I envision being able to do this summer and with a conscious effort, right? Like I can't just set it and forget it. Like you said, if you need to look back at it to make it happen, do that. But it it's making it feel more like in within reach. And that feels lighter already for me.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Yeah, me too. I think saying it out loud, making a commitment to yourself. And again, we'll we'll put something on our website with a resource of a permission slip for you, and maybe a way that you can make this commitment to yourself. Maybe we'll call it like a summer proclamation or something. A commitment to yourself, but saying it out loud, having somebody to hold you accountable sometimes too. I mean, you and I text all the time, so I'm be like, Did you ask for help with that? Yeah, you know, holding each other accountable and cheering each other on, I think is really important, which goes to this idea that we haven't spent a lot of time on, but that village, right? Of of building connection and village for yourself, because in order to do all of these things and be successful at them and even start them sometimes, we have to be able to lean on the people we need.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree. One thing that this is taking me to is back to maybe even more on just your thoughts of like having an ordinary day like be okay, right? And be good enough, is simplifying the days in general. So, one idea I think that we can share with everybody is this idea of creating a few simple anchors. What does an easier day look like? What is a more routine day, even for your kids, look like, an ordinary day look like, and how often do you want to place those throughout your summer so that it is not something you have to think on the spot? It doesn't have to be spontaneous on that day, right? You can build that spontaneity in on other days, but what does that look like? So for us, it would be going to the lake, going to have a pool day. The kids love being outside, love being in the water. It's a great space for them to become stronger swimmers. All the good things help my anxiety when I see them become stronger swimmers. So everybody kind of wins, and those would be like my anchor days I would lean into is today's a lake day. Super high excitement around that. Easy enough to pack for. We already know all the things we need and we know right where we're going.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Yeah, we we do lake days too, beach days, lake days, um, to paddle board. We have our routine set up of you know, this is what we pack, this is what time we go. We normally are home for like a late nap. We shower when we get home. Like it's nice, like routine for us, but it's so fun for them. We do go to the library fairly often, like once a week to um rotate out books. We have friends that for summer it gets a little different because they travel, but I've I think I've I don't know that I've talked about it on here, but we do Friday night movie night with them fairly often. So like incorporating that still is a routine. And even if we don't go to their house, um the kids know Friday night is movie night here. So those are kind of our anchors, are like they have this, they know they're going to camp other than this week and next week, because this week Nana's here and next week is horse camp. Okay. But other than that, they go to camp Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So they know that that's the routine. They're gonna go to camp those three days, and then Mondays and Fridays are gonna be library, lake, and uh probably movie night. And just having that routine is just kind of nice to have those things where the kids know what to expect, but you're not overloading your calendar. You're not like, let's fit in five things today that are all gonna be super chaotic and make everybody really tired because then you're gonna have in Sawyer's words, crouchy, not crouchy, crouchy kids at the end of the night, but giving some structure without it feeling like a full schedule. Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

I think rhythm, not rigidity, right? Like being able to get in your rhythm this summer, find that and and allowing the kids to get into theirs too, right? We talk about routine, and I think I don't know who needs it more some days, but it's it's important for all of us to have like some sort of routine and rhythm to it. So build that in whatever way works for your family. I can be, I think it'd be super helpful. But those simple anchors, create a simple anchor and lean into that.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

And I think the other piece that people can do, and maybe something a challenge that we'll throw out to all of you, is prepare now and thank yourself later. So what can you do now that makes the week easier for you? And maybe that's meal planning, which I hate. I will be the first one to say we we had Anna Sophia on and she talked about it and it was great. And she gave great tips that I need to implement. I just hate cooking. So, but meal planning is one thing, right? Do you have the things that you know your kids are going to eat that are quick grab and go? How can you make meals easier for the summer?

SPEAKER_00 31:32

Yeah, yeah. And for me, with my different camp schedule, depending on the day or week, it's like some provide lunch and snacks, some don't. So for me, thinking about planning out those weeks on the ones that I do need to bring that to them, or even the days when I know they're home with me, like a similar schedule to you, like a Monday, Friday, having easy go-to things in your house will be helpful.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Yeah. What's another one that you think of of like preparing for that like really resonates with you?

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Yeah. I go back to just the not overbooking activity. So even ahead of time, already thinking about what might be coming up and what is my family into doing, right? Like, so already kind of setting some of these expectations around what do we want our summer to look like and building it together, you know. Tyler and I haven't yet had this conversation, but I envision a conversation around, okay, we know when our summer vacation is going to be where we're gone for a week, but what does everything else look like? What are the things that might come up that we're just like, nope, we already have filled it up too much around all these other things that we say as a family we want to do. So anything else that comes up could be a no and a no with no explanation, right? And not over-explaining that no, just not committing. We're gonna have to practice that for you.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

I find it sounds so ridiculous. I know, but I find that sometimes practicing the no makes it easier for me to say because it's just like right on the tip of my tongue. And I will literally make Taylor like push me and question me, like he'll be like, Oh, can you do this just for practice? And I'll say, Oh no, I can't. I just don't have capacity right now. He'll be like, but you'd be so great at it, it'd be really good. And I'm like, uh, maybe. And then I'm like, no, I can't right now. I don't have capacity, and I have to practice that because I am a yes man all the time, like people pleaser sometimes, and so practicing the no can be helpful.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

I'm pretty good through text message because I'll explain it all out and then I'll go delete, delete, and I'll like backspace all of it. I'll be like, no, I don't have to do this. So in my mind, I think it's for explaining it to myself or justifying to myself why I'm okay to say no, but then taking back what I'm saying to the other person because they don't need to know all the details behind it. Yeah, I love that writing it out and then delete, delete, delete, delete.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

Yeah. I think what resonates too with what you're talking about of not over-scheduling, but also scheduling downtime, which sounds silly if you're like, we're gonna have an ordinary day. Ordinary days can also still feel full because of all the mental load we talked about, or the kids are bored and they need to eat and they want to play, and but actually scheduling like maybe it is some tablet time or a movie during the day, or we're just gonna sit outside and enjoy it. We're not gonna blow up the pool, it's just gonna be like regular outside play, but scheduling time, which seems counterintuitive, but scheduling time where you're actually not doing things, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Agreed. Even one thing that resonated with me that you said earlier is we go to the lake, but we're home for like a late afternoon nap, right? And rest and downtime. And I don't often do that when we go to the lake. I'm kind of like, we'll see how we feel and we'll see how it goes. But then you can hit the point where it's oh, this we've been out in the sun too long, we're exhausted right now, everyone's starting to melt down, including me, and all the fun goes out the window. So if you can kind of block in some time blocks, it's like, okay, this is our time to be outside, but this is our time to be like inside and kind of just having a more calm, relaxing, restful period is perfect.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yeah, I love those late afternoon naps, and they're usually I don't know, they're usually contact naps from Sawyer, which she's at the age where like she doesn't, I don't get those very often anymore. And so when I do get them, I'm always like soaking that up. And even not last night, but the night before, um, because everyone's been sick and uh our sleep routine is chaos anyway. I will say hats off to my oldest. She has slept in her own bed the last three nights in a row. Yep, huge success. Lil Sawyer was in my bed with me the other night. I wasn't feeling good, she wasn't feeling good, and she put her little hand in my hand and laid down, said, Love you, mama, straight to sleep. And I was like, I'm gonna soak up this moment forever.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Totally. Oh my gosh. Well, they you're right, they become like few and far between. So I love that she's still giving you that and that she still wants that. And I even I'll throw in a little tidbit because I saw something the other day that melted my heart a little bit. And it was like up until the age of nine, I think it said, kids are still wanting all these same things from us, they're just no longer asking for it. And so if you have a kid that's kind of like you think is phasing out of some of those things, you can offer some of that snuggle time, some of that contact time, those hugs, those kisses, whatever it looks like, they won't turn it down usually. Like they will still want it, they just are no longer asking for it. And I have found that with Jack in particular at seven, he is a snuggle bug when I make space for it, but he's not asking for it. So it made me feel like, oh, I still have time left, right? It's like I can still offer all this and still get it um for myself, but give it to them, obviously, as well.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

I love that because I never thought I did think about like the phasing out, but I never thought it's just them not asking. It's but I I can see that, and so I definitely something I want to be intentional about.

SPEAKER_00 36:59

Yeah.

unknown 36:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

So build that into your summer as well, right? We have all kinds of things that we can make tiny. We're building it all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:07

It's the summer reset. And I think as we kind of get towards the end of our episode session, whatever we're calling it, is the theme throughout has been one summer is a chance to reset. It's a chance for you to kind of reset yourself, think about what your intentions are going into summer. How can you live a summer that feels aligned with yourself and your values? And I love a good value sort. So if you want one of that, we'll link it. But how can you live that? But also, summer doesn't have to be perfect, right? It just has like it's meaningful. And what is meaningful to each person is different. But all you have to do is make it meaningful for you.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Yeah, and I think with that, I think the going back to just like the theme of the summer reset is if you can prepare now, you will thank yourself later. So the challenge to all of you is take take whatever resonates today with you. We'll, like Kate said, we'll share some tools, we'll put some stuff out there available to you guys for you to put a little bit more thought to this yourself and your own time if you choose to. Um, but prepare now, thank yourself later, I think is the the theme of it all, too, and which we want you to be able to hang on to and kind of walk away with today.

SPEAKER_02 38:19

Absolutely. And as always, we'll sign off with a little tidbit. And I think it's important to remember that years from now, your kids are not going to always remember the perfectly planned days. They are going to remember the feelings that summer gave them and that you gave them in that moment. Oh, I love that so much. And I just, you know, just came up with it in the moment. So it's a great way to end our session today. Yeah. So we're ending on that note, but we do want to tell you about what's coming up because we took a little hiatus, but now we're coming back kind of full force. So we have summer. Then you're gonna hear from Taylor and Tyler coming up soon about their perspectives and what they see in terms of parenting and motherhood and marriage and and what it's like from their perspectives, maybe even just what it's like being married to us, which could get a little dicey, but we'll see how it goes. And then we're gonna have some more guests come on, some more professionals, maybe some authors, some real moms for real stories, which again we have on our Instagram. There's a link that if you have an interest of coming on, you can fill out that form. And we are going through all the responses. So if you haven't heard from us yet, it's not because we're not interested, it's just because we've had this big hiatus, but we are excited to bring people on. And we've got merch coming out and mom's nights coming out, so there's some exciting stuff coming up this summer through Messy Minded Mama. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

When you don't hear from us in this space, we are still here, we're building all the things. We're happy for the chance that we get to connect with all of you as often as we do, and looking forward to a fun summer with lots of good things coming up.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

Alright, well, we will see you next week. Thanks for hanging out with us.

SPEAKER_00 40:07

Thank you for being here with us today. If something in this episode resonated, we're really glad you listened. Messy minded or not, you're not alone in this, and you don't have to have it all figured out.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

If you'd like to stay connected, you can follow Messy Minded Mama wherever you listen to podcasts. And follow us on Instagram at messy.minded.mama. We'll be back to connect again soon. Thanks for being here.