Things We Can Learn From the Italians

Life and How to Live It with Dr. Rocco
Season 2, Episode 2: Things We Can Learn From the Italians

In this episode, I reflect on some of the lessons we can learn from Italian culture and from my own experience as an Italian American. I want to be clear that I am not saying every Italian lives the same way, and Italy has changed over time just like every country does. Life in a big city is not always the same as life in a village or small town. But there are still certain Italian habits, values, and rhythms that I believe can teach us something about how to live more fully.

I begin with food, because when many people think about Italy, food is usually one of the first things that comes to mind. But the lesson is not simply that Italians enjoy good food. It is that food is connected to season, place, family, quality, and time. Italians often pay attention to what is fresh, local, and in season. On my recent trip with my wife, we saw asparagus and artichokes everywhere because that was what the season was giving. Rather than expecting everything all year round, there is something beautiful about eating what is available now and then waiting for that season to return.

I also talk about the Italian rhythm of eating. Breakfast tends to be small and simple. Lunch is often more substantial. Dinner may be lighter, and there is not the same culture of constant snacking that we often see in America. Even the idea of aperitivo, which has become popular across Italy, is not just about having a drink. It is about gathering with other people, having a small bite, talking, and easing into the evening. Italians tend not to separate food from relationship.

That leads to another important lesson: meals deserve attention. So many of us eat at our desks, check email while we eat, or rush through meals as if they are interruptions. In Italian life, the meal is more often treated as a real pause in the day. It is a time to sit down, taste, talk, and be with others. I think we can learn from that. Food should not only fill us. It can also connect us.

Family and friendship are also at the center of this episode. In Italian culture, family remains deeply important, but social connection is not always as formal or scheduled as it often becomes in our lives. People gather in the piazza, walk around town, see friends, greet neighbors, and become part of each other’s daily rhythm. You do not always have to put connection on a calendar. Sometimes community is created simply by showing up in shared places.

One phrase I spend time with is la dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing. As an American, and even as someone who grew up with Italian roots, this has not always come easily to me. I am used to being busy, productive, and purposeful. But Italians remind us that there is value in slowing down, sitting with people, people-watching, talking, sipping a drink, and letting time pass without trying to squeeze usefulness out of every minute. That kind of “nothing” can actually be very restorative.

I also reflect on the Italian sense that life should be beautiful: la vita è bella. Beauty is not only for museums, vacations, or special occasions. It can be found in architecture, clothing, flowers outside a home, the way food is arranged, the way people present themselves, and the care given to ordinary things. Italians often seem to understand that our surroundings affect our spirits. Small touches of beauty can make everyday life feel richer.

Connected to that is the idea of la bella figura. This is not merely vanity. It is a sense of self-respect and respect for the people around you. The way you dress, carry yourself, greet others, and participate in public life matters. In Italy, life can feel a bit like theater. People use their faces, hands, voices, and gestures. They know they are part of the scene. There is a theatrical quality to daily life that makes even ordinary moments feel more alive.

I also mention sprezzatura, that sense of effortless style or mastery. It may look casual, but there is usually care behind it. Whether in clothing, design, conversation, food, or craft, Italians often appreciate doing things well while making it seem natural. That points to another major lesson from the episode: quality and craftsmanship matter. Italians have a deep respect for things made with care, whether it is food, clothing, furniture, cars, motorcycles, or design. There is a belief that what we make should carry passion, love, and pride.

Another part of Italian life I admire is the balance between tradition and innovation. Italians love tradition, but they are also great innovators in design, engineering, fashion, food, and technology. They do not always assume that something is better simply because it is new. Sometimes the old way is still better. Sometimes the new thing helps. The wisdom is in knowing what to preserve and what to embrace.

We also talk about the Italian pride of place. Italy is an old culture but a relatively young unified country, and regional identity still matters. People are proud of their town, their region, their local foods, wines, cheeses, cured meats, cookies, and traditions. You can travel a short distance and find a different specialty, a different way of preparing something, or a different local pride. That sense of place gives richness to life. It reminds us that local identity matters.

Work is another area where I think Italians have something to teach us. Italians can work very hard and take great pride in their craft, but work does not always define the whole person. A person is also known by family, place, friendships, interests, and community. In America, we often ask, “What do you do?” as if that explains who someone is. Italian culture reminds me that we are more than our jobs.

I also reflect on the importance of Sunday, or at least the importance of having one day that is different from the others. Even in a more secular Italy, Sunday still carries a feeling of rest, church for some, family, festivals, good food, and connection. I think many of us need to reclaim that kind of day. It does not have to be Sunday, but we need time that is not about productivity, errands, or constant motion.

Finally, I talk about the passeggiata, the traditional evening stroll. It is not exercise in the American sense. It is not about steps, speed, or fitness goals. It is about walking slowly, seeing people, greeting others, being seen, and enjoying the place where you live. There is no urgent agenda. The walk itself is the point.

For my recommendation, I share a travel tip about gelato. When in Italy, look for gelato that is not piled high in giant brightly colored mountains. The best gelato is often more muted in color, flatter, sometimes even covered in metal containers. It may not shout for attention, but the flavor is often far better.

My hope for this episode is that we do not simply admire Italian life from a distance, but borrow some of its wisdom. Eat more seasonally. Sit down for meals. Make time for family and friends. Add beauty to ordinary spaces. Take pride in craft. Hold on to good traditions. Rest. Walk. Slow down. And remember, life is not a dress rehearsal.

Transcript

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Do you sometimes feel like life is passing you by? How would you like to get more out of life? We explore all things life on this podcast. Welcome to the Life and How to Live It podcast with Dr. Rocco.

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Welcome to another episode of the Life and How to Live It podcast with me, Dr. Rocco. At the end of season one, I took a vacation with my wife Susan and we went to Italy. Now, I have been to Italy many, many times over the years. Uh, I've I first went there when I was six years old, and I've been there at least 20 times over these many years of my life. And this past time, I was inspired to make this episode. You know, in my visits to Italy, I've always been impressed with the way Italians approach life. In many ways, I think they've cracked the code on life and how to live it. So I wanted to share today some of my observations about the way Italians live and maybe some ways that we can adopt that into our lives as Americans. Before I go there, though, I'd like to say that, you know, not everything that we do as Americans is bad or wrong. I think we approach life in our own unique way, which is um a really valid way to approach life. I personally feel blessed to be an Italian American because I think that those two cultures do have a particular approach to life, which are somewhat different, not completely different, but different enough that they can complement each other. So when people think about Italy and Italians, uh usually the first thing that comes to mind is something about food or eating. And and so, what is it about the way Italians approach food and eating that we could learn? So I would say one of the most important things is that Italians, for the most part, you know, I'm gonna say for the most part a lot in this episode because every country evolves and changes over time, and Italy is no different. You know, if I made this episode 30 years ago, everything I'm saying would probably be would not need some sort of disclaimer. But things have changed over the last 20 to 30 years, and there are differences in the big cities versus the countryside. So, for the most part, Italians eat local food and they eat food that is in season. And so when I'm talking about this food, I'm mostly talking about produce, like fruit, fruits and vegetables, that kind of thing. They usually will go to a local, you know, produce cellar and just get what's in season. So, you know, this past trip when my wife and I were there was late spring or mid-spring, and there were a lot of asparagus and there were a lot of artichokes in season. And we ate a lot of that, you know. Um, Italians uh tend to eat a lot of what's in season, and then they don't eat it again for a year. Unlike us, where we can find almost anything in our supermarket uh 12 months a year, they can too in some supermarkets, but most Italians, especially ones who live in smaller towns and villages, are really eating seasonally. They really look for foods that are local. So, even like with the cheese, you know, like if you're in a certain part of Italy, you'll tend to see certain cheeses as opposed to in other parts. You can find those other cheeses everywhere now in this modern Italy, uh, but people still have the habit of liking their local foods. Another thing that they do regarding food is they tend to eat three meals a day and avoid snacking. So they really are not snacking a lot. They do tend to have a very small breakfast. It's usually like a cappuccino and a croissant or a piece of bread with chocolate, you know, something like that. It's a it's a simple breakfast. Uh, the lunch tends to be larger, uh, and then the dinner is sort of medium-sized. Uh, in between meals, they don't eat much, except there is this newer development of a thing called the aperitivo, uh, which developed originally in the Milan area uh and has spread throughout the whole country. And that's kind of the equivalent of our American happy hour. So it'd be like, you know, when you get out of work, you know, maybe 6 p.m., uh, you might go to a local uh local bar and have a drink with some friends. And um, Italians uh do not tend to drink without food. So so because that is uh part of their tradition, uh, this idea of like, oh, we're gonna get a drink, and then like the bar will provide some kind of food. It could be something simple like potato chips, peanuts, uh, little biscuits called tarali, or it could be something much, you know, a little bit more elaborate, like a charcuterie board with a little cheese, a little prosciutto. In some places, they have entire like all-you-can-eat spreads that are that are set up, and and this, so but the Italians tend to not eat a lot at that time, and that is aperitivo, which is a snack before they go home and have like a smaller dinner. And and so, you know, this aperitivo serves a couple of purposes. It's a little snack after you get out of work. It also feeds into this love that they have of socializing. So, you know, uh, I'll say a little more about the socializing part in a minute, but as far as the food goes, you know, we could incorporate some of these Italian ideas by trying to, you know, eat fresher local ingredients as much as possible in season, try to avoid a lot of snacking and and always eat with other people. That is the thing that they do, you know. They tend not to like sit at their desk and have lunch, you know, they'll take a proper lunch break and um a lot of them will go home for lunch. Now, in the bigger cities, people aren't going home for lunch so much, but uh they are not really sitting at their desk uh eating by themselves while they check email either. So that you know, that's something that we could try to do is dedicate time when we eat and make it also social. Family and friends make life worth living for Italians. Uh the stereotype of Italians is that they're, you know, they have big families and people are always, you know, yelling and talking over each other and all of that. And and and that is true, or it was true, it's less true today. Families are much smaller today, but family still remains the most important thing in most Italians' lives. Connections with um your parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, you know, this thing, you know, is called La Parentella, and it continues to be a very important part of life. Friends are also very important, and people really try to socialize with their friends andor families on a daily basis. It tends to be less formal than what we do in the in the United States. What they are doing is going out to the piazza, and you know, when they go to the piazza or they go to their local bar, they will tend to run into family and friends, and that's the time where they're where they're interacting with each other, and you don't have to make a date to see somebody and like put it on your calendar. You know, it's much more spontaneous for them. Another thing that the it's a kind of a stereotype uh of Italians that is is true, is true, is that they tend to really appreciate slowing down and doing less. And they have this phrase called La Dolce Farniente, it's the sweetness of doing nothing. And I I grew up as an Italian kid, but uh I'm very much an American, and that has always been hard for me. It's to just sit and really kind of do nothing, you know. You you sit usually with people, you have a drink, you talk, you you know, people watch, you know, you just kind of pass the time. And it's it usually takes me a few days to get into that rhythm, but it is a very lovely rhythm to be in when you can embrace la dolce farniente. So maybe we could slow down a little bit as Americans, you know. They also have this this thing that life should be beautiful. La vita è bella. Life should be beautiful. That means everything about life should be beautiful. Your surroundings, like the architecture should be beautiful, the things you do, like you know, uh put a pot of flower, you know, uh potted flowers um in front of your home, little touches here and there that just make life just a little more beautiful. And and part of that beauty for Italians is the way they present themselves. They present themselves in this in this way where they're trying to always look stylish and and look good when they're out in public, because life should be beautiful, you know, and so they're they don't dress as formally as they might have, say 25 years ago, but they still put effort into uh how they look when they go out. There's another Italian phrase, la bella figura. It's like making a good figure of yourself, like making a good impression, la bella figura. You want to go out in public looking good, you know? It shows respect to the people that you interact with, it should and it shows uh self-respect to look good when you go out. So la la bella figura is also part of this idea, uh, not only that life is beautiful, but that life is theater, you know, that we're all players on this stage that is life. So if you want entertainment in Italy, all you have to do is go to the local piazza, sit down and and watch people. Everybody knows they're part of the show, they're dressed appropriately, they they never hold back when it comes to their facial expressions, their hand motions, uh, their you know, their way of speaking, intonations, etc. So there's a certain theatricality to to life, daily life in Italy. And so it's uh something, you know, can we incorporate this into our lives as Americans? You know, beauty, uh La Bella figura, life is theater, sprezzatura, which is this idea uh of effortless mastery. So you just look like you're just like nonchalant. Meanwhile, you've put a lot of effort into this, like just looking like you just threw your outfit together, you know, it's like sprezzatura. Uh, it's a certain cool factor that they have when they dress and do just about anything. Another thing that is interesting about Italians is that they demand quality and craftsmanship in everything. So they demand quality in their food, as I've I've mentioned earlier. They also demand quality and craftsmanship of everything that they buy: their clothing, furniture, their cars, motorcycles, like, you know, they want everything to have this like what they think is important in life, which is passion and love. You put your passion and your love into everything you do. So if you make something that people will buy, you want it, you know, to be infused with your passion and love. And the people who are out there buying this, the Italians who are buying, you know, the items, want to see that in the items they buy. It's no accident that Italian clothing and all sorts of other uh products are really uh highly regarded all around the world for exactly that the quality and craftsmanship. So, you know, we in America tend to like efficiency, we like um, you know, to pay less and get more. Well, Italians are are willing to pay a little more for something better. That's something's gonna last, something that's that's going to wear uh well and develop a patina over years. They're always playing the long game in Italy. You know, this is a 2000 plus year culture, you know. They don't look at things in like, you know, now, now, now they're looking at like, how will this, you know, bench look? You know, my grandchildren are own it. You know, it's like it's a it's a totally different mindset. So, you know, there's also this thing uh that Italians have, which is a respect uh for both tradition and innovation. I think most people understand that Italians respect tradition, but Italians are great innovators, you know, they're on the forefront of so many things in engineering and design. They really do respect innovation, new ways of doing things. They don't just have a default mode like Americans do that, like the new thing is the better thing. They really do admire and appreciate the old thing, the tradition, the way things were done in the past. Uh, and so this is something I really love and and really embrace in my own life is like, you know, we should always be open to new ideas, new innovations, new um inventions, developments, but don't just assume it's better just because it's new. Sometimes the old thing is better, you know. Like what I love to read, and I just do not like to read on a digital format. To me, there's nothing like a book, you know. On the other hand, I actually prefer reading a digital newspaper to a paper newspaper. So, you know, I in some ways I've embraced, you know, the the old and in other ways the new. Just a silly example, but there's so many ways that you can kind of be mindful in your life as an American. It's like, what are these traditional things or traditions that we want to hold on to? Uh, and and you know, being mindful of that, I think, can make your life richer. There is also in Italy this importance of a sense of a sense and a pride of place. Italy, although it's a very ancient culture, is a pretty young country. It was only unified in in 1860. And and in in pra in truth, it wasn't really unified and uh fully until like the years of you know World War II, you know, which is not even a hundred years ago at this point, right? So eighty years ago, they started becoming more unified. And the lack of unification created this, you know, pockets, like you are really loyal to your area, to your, you know, and there's a there's a term for it in Italian, which is campanelismo. It's like campana is like the the bell tower of your church. It's like the campanalismo means you are like loyal to like the bell tower of your church, which means like that neighborhood. So, you know, the in Italy there's a really strong sense of neighborhood pride, you know, the pride of your town, your province, your region, and now Italian pride as well. But but there this is a sense of place, sense of like the localness of things is something that uh Italians have. They have pride in the local products, you know. So like they're every part of Italy will have its own kind of cured meats and cheeses. Uh, they'll have their own kind of cookies, their own maybe liqueurs, like the um amaros that you would have after after a meal. And that adds a like a ton of richness to um to being in Italy and traveling. Like you could go from one town to another town that's you know 15 miles away, and they'll have a different kind of um amaro that they serve after dinner. So, you know, the United States, on the other hand, you know, we're we're this giant country that has somehow homogenized in many ways. Not totally by any means. We still have a lot of local specialties, a lot of local, you know, things that people appreciate and are proud of, but but they're they are hyper-local. So that that's a very interesting thing. Italians also take their work seriously, but they don't let it define them. They they are good workers, they work uh long hours. Um people who work as uh shop owners, for instance, uh will have these very, very long days, but they're like split days. So they go in at 8 a.m. and they close at about one and then they go home for lunch uh and they'll have like a break time with siesta and that kind of thing, uh, and then reopen their store at say 4 p.m. until 8 p.m. So really they're like on the hook for work from like 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., like 12 hours, although there's this break in the middle. People who work in offices, it's a little different. It's a more like the US, but regardless of what you do, as an Italian, you take it seriously. You're proud of your craft, you're proud of your job, but it doesn't define you. You're defined by who your parents are or were, you're defined by, you know, where you live, who's your soccer team, what you know, what your hobbies are. And I think that uh as Americans, we're we are starting to evolve in that direction a little bit more. Uh, but traditionally, we've been quite defined by you know what we do for a living. And I think there's a beautiful balance that the Italians have in that area. Uh, another thing about uh Italians are this feeling like Sundays are sacred. Now it's Italy is a very Catholic country um uh in many ways, uh historically quite Catholic. It's not as religious today, it's much more secular, but there is always this sensibility that Sunday is a separate, it's a different kind of day. It's set aside. So it's not just another day to like, you know, go shopping and and take care of a bunch of business. It is a day to rest. It is a day to, yes, go to church if you're a churchgoer. It's a day to go to a street festival, it's a day to be with the people you love and care about. And I think that's something that we need to take back in American culture, is our Sunday, we'll call it. It could be Saturday, it could be whatever day, but set aside one day a week that's not supposed to be about productivity, but it's supposed to be about connection. It's about resting, recharging, and and reconnecting with the people that you care about. So I think that's something that we should definitely try to you know learn from the Italians. And another thing that I will say as I get to the end of my list here is to embrace their concept of the passeggiata. Now, a passeggiata, I think it would be, you know, translated as the word stroll in English. And basically, like the passaggiata is this is traditionally something that Italians did pretty much every evening. You would go to the piazza, and it's usually uh after you've had your dinner, but it could be just in the evening before you have your evening meal. Well, either way, what it is is taking a stroll. You're just like walking, you don't have an agenda, you're not walking to uh a specific place, you're just walking to like the fountain and back, and that walk may take you 20 minutes, you know. Uh, but it's it's not a fast walking, it's not meant to be about physical fitness, it's it's just about being out and about. It's sort of this way to people watch, maybe run into people, you know. You you may walk alone, but most people will do a pasajata with uh, you know, their spouse, a good friend, etc. And and it's it's something that is just a lovely part of the Daily life of Italians. So consider a passeggiata where you live. It could be a walk around the block with your spouse because after a busy day, you need a little time to connect, get a little fresh air. Maybe you'll run into someone walking their dog and say hello. You know, it's like it can be anything. It's it's a pretty low stakes thing, but it if you do it consistently, it will enrich your life. So those are some of my uh observations about uh things that we can learn from the Italians. I'm sure that those of you who have traveled in Italy uh have other ideas. Maybe there's things that I missed. You know, we do have a an Instagram page and a website. Uh, it's Life with Dr. Rocco. And um tell me what you think. I'm curious if I missed something uh important or interesting. So that's it for that portion of the show. I hope you've enjoyed and learned something and and maybe incorporate some of it into your daily life as an American.

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Now it's time for Dr. Roccozarix, Dr. Roccozerix. Now it's time for Dr.

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Rocco's Ricks. My recommendation today is a recommendation on how to recognize quality gelato when you're traveling in Italy. Now, you know, one of the great pleasures of being on vacation in Italy is having a gelato uh at night, uh, walking with an ice cream cone down the street. You know, I think that's a highlight for so many Americans. But, you know, how do you know what's a good gelato? Because there is a lot of variability from the best quality artisanal gelato uh to the kind of like low-end stuff, uh, which is still good to be honest. But that high-end stuff is is transcendent. When you have it, you will not believe the intensity of flavor. And I don't want you to miss out on that. So, my tip is avoid gelatos like where you can you're walking uh by the gelateria on the street and you see these giant mounds of really bright, almost pastel, bright colored gelatos. Those are not the good kind, they might be appealing to the eye and interesting, but they're not the the quality artisanal stuff. The quality stuff is not as bright in color and it's not as like puffed up, it's kind of more dense. Uh, so it doesn't like create these giant mounds. And what I think is when you really hit the jackpot, is when you see you don't even see the gelato, you see these circular metallic covers over the gelato. That is usually a sign that you've got an artisanal batch of gelato underneath it. So when you order it, you know, they have to take that like metal top off and then scoop it out for you. So that is my recommendation uh for today is try to search out that really good gelato when you're in Italy next time. Did you know that Italy has the most UNESCO World Heritage Sites when compared to any other country? Now, a UNESCO World Heritage Site is a landmark or area that is formally recognized by the United Nations for having outstanding universal value. These are sites that have such exceptional significance that they transcend national boundaries and are and belong to all humanity. So Italy is the country that has the most of these sites in the world. So next time you plan your trip to Italy, look for a UNESCO World Heritage Site. They're not that hard to find. Well, that's it for today's show. Thank you so much for joining me today and spending a little time together. I hope you've learned something. Until next time, so long. Thanks for listening to the Life and How to Live It podcast with Dr. Rocco. If you'd like to book a coaching session with me, simply visit the show notes and schedule a discovery call. And if today's episode encouraged you or added value to your life, please subscribe and leave a review. Remember, life is not a dress rehearsal. Until next time, so long.

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Just live it live and how to live it.