.png)
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto is a podcast dedicated to inspiring intentional living, personal growth, and transformation. Hosted by design expert and lifestyle guru Sabrina Soto, each episode dives into conversations about wellness, mindset, home, and self-improvement with leading experts and thought leaders. With a mix of practical advice, heartfelt storytelling, and empowering insights, Redesigning Life is your go-to space for creating a life that feels as good as it looks—one thoughtful choice at a time.
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Brianna Wiest on Letting Go and Embracing Timing
I have been a huge fan of Brianna Wiest for years—her words have deeply inspired me, and I know so many of you feel the same. Having her on Redesigning Life was truly an honor and our conversation was everything I hoped it would be. We talked about transformation, resilience, and stepping into the life that’s meant for you—just like she writes about in her incredible new book, The Life That’s Waiting. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this episode!
We explore the nuances of life’s waiting game, uncovering the lessons embedded in patience and timing. The discussion reveals how acceptance of life's pauses can lead to growth and understanding.
• Importance of self-exploration and personal alignment
• Brianna discusses her journey and impact of her writing
• The transformative potential of waiting and trusting timing
• Embracing boundaries for mental well-being
• Strategies for creating space and prioritizing self-care
• Life lessons learned from pain and heartbreak
Brianna on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/briannawiest/?hl=en
https://www.briannawiest.com/
HER NEW BOOK: https://bit.ly/4btwITW
Connect with me on social:
https://www.instagram.com/sabrina_soto
Welcome to Redesigning Life. I'm your host, sabrina Soto, and this is the space where we have honest conversations about personal growth, mindset shifts and creating a life that feels truly aligned. In each episode, I'll talk to experts in their fields who share their insights to help you step into your higher self. Let's redesign your life from the inside out. Brianna, I am so excited to have you on Redesigning Life because I am such a fan of yours. I have never sent more of your writings to anybody and, like all of my friends, nobody. You are like the most important author in my life, so thank you for being on the podcast.
Speaker 2:You're going to make me cry.
Speaker 1:Thank, you for having me.
Speaker 2:We haven't even started.
Speaker 1:Yet the Life of Waiting is your new book. I know you're calling it the encyclopedia of life, but I feel like I have this book that Martha Stewart wrote. It's like the handbook for your house, where it's like, if you need to fix the screen, you pick it up and figure it out. I feel like this book is a handbook for somebody's life because you read, it's like you even say the chapters if you're feeling this, read this. And it's such a, it's such a good book. I don't even know who you are, because you you're so wise that you must, but you must have like 70,000 past lives. I do actually feel that way. I actually do the way you write. If you if anyone who's listening follows on Instagram, you know what I'm talking about. The way she writes, the little paragraphs or poems that she puts out, are life-changing. So first, with this book, you mentioned that this is the first book idea that you've had and it took years for you to complete. But what was the turning point that made you ready to finally write this book?
Speaker 2:you know, I think I was honestly looking ahead to the future, to like new projects and maybe even like trying a new genre or you know, kind of like you know what's next for me.
Speaker 2:I mean, I have to be like honest. After I finished writing the Mountain is you, I did feel a sense of completion within my own self and, you know, I think like writing is one of the great loves of my life and so it's something that I'm will always be doing in some way, just because it's so much a part of who I am. Now, you know, whether whether it's published or not doesn't even matter, it's just, you know, part of my, my day-to-day life. And the more I was kind of looking ahead to you know, what would I, what feels alive to me, what's calling me, what's inspiring me, what's making me think, what's making me tick right now, the more I couldn't shake the feeling of I really have to do this one justice, though it was almost like this dream that a younger me had that I had never saw all the way through, and I was like before I I've got to finish this, like I've got to just put this out there. And you know, do you know the movie Some Dog Millionaire?
Speaker 1:No, oh, yes. No, that was a long time ago. I watched it once.
Speaker 2:It's, you know, and kind of the premise of the movie is. You know, the guy you know wins the game show, through all of these kind of like almost discordant you know life experiences that he had, that each gave him an answer. And I swear I was having this kind of slumped moment, you know, putting together this book, where I was like you know I couldn't have written this one day sooner than I did, because I was living out the answers to the questions I was asking without even knowing that I was. And it was really kind of emotional for me when I look back at it or, you know, parse through it from reading it for something, because I'm like you know, I remember the moment where that clarity came to me or I remember that lesson, how hard it was at that time. But for it to all come together and like, like in this way is just, it's a really, really meaningful book to me. I mean, they're all meaningful in different ways, but this one's like a little extra a little extra special.
Speaker 1:I think we need to put together like the entire library as like a box set for people for their lives. Okay, I would love done Please do that, please do that. When I read your writings I'm like what has this woman gone through? You are so young and it just seems like you're so wise. Like how, what are the sort of things that you've been through to get you to this? Point now Like who are you been through to get?
Speaker 2:you to this point now, like, who are you? First of all, I love you. Second of all, you know there are so many things that I've been through in my life that I think you know I could talk to about anyone that would say you know, same right Kind of normal things, right that I think that at times I just maybe took harder than other people did. And then there's been some abnormal stuff too that I think is not as common but was definitely par for my story in life. But it was not any one of those experiences that broke this open. It was the culmination of them, and what it showed me is that every single one of us has an access point inside of us and you have it and all of my readers have it. Everyone in my life that I'm close to and connected to has it. And I know that you do, because when you read what I'm writing from that place, it makes sense to you, it resonates to you. That's that same active part inside of you connecting to where I'm accessing it inside of me, and the.
Speaker 2:You know, one of the craziest things about this whole journey has been, you know, you kind of start out at the beginning. I'm kind of and I don't mean this in a bad way at all, but I'm not like special. I really don't mean it that way, though, but thank you, but I really, you know, when I was younger, I just was so passionate about writing and I was really, you know, going through some really tough mental health stuff and really wanted to heal, really wanted to change my life. But you know, when I was kind of starting by the way, I should just add in here my life plan was to be a news writer or a journalist, and I thought, you know, I'm going to use writing in this way, and I think a big thing that held me back was just kind of like, I mean, right, so when I had the first idea for this book, I was like, I mean, I wish this book existed, but like someone like me doesn't write books, you know, like someone else should do it, and what I have discovered time and time again is that every time I stumble on something that I think is the weakness or the detriment or the problem, every single time it is the gift, and what I found over all these years is that I don't have such an extraordinary story or life other than doing this writing, but I truly believe in my heart and soul that that is what makes it resonate with so many other people, and it's not to say that everyone is truly remarkable in their own way.
Speaker 2:I don't mean it like that. I makes it resonate with so many other people and it's not to say that, you know, everyone is truly remarkable in their own way. You know, I don't, I don't mean it like that. I think it's just that you know, I think any one of my readers and I really feel this in my heart and I hope they feel this way too we could sit down and be friends. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Like like it would just friend, I really do your books. I'm like this is my best friend.
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, thank you, and that's what I want you to feel, but also what I feel like you're able to feel, because I try to come at things and really from the only place I can come out them, come at them, excuse me, which is just. You know, I'm seriously just a person just trying to figure out my life. Yeah, like literally everyone else, like in all the ways you are and everyone around me is too. But I will also add, I've rambled for a long time. Cut me off whenever you want, but when I was first starting to write, I would use first person work, so I would storytell more, and I found that people liked it but not really.
Speaker 2:And there was this big moment where I realized could I have the courage and surrender the ego, to take myself out and to create a container where other people could put themselves in? And that is when the whole thing really took off for me. And so you know, what I was talking about at the beginning was I was kind of thinking ahead to you know what could be next, and I've really had a memoir. I've wanted to write about one particular experience in my life that you know, every time I talked to even friends about it. They're like I know you don't want to, but you really should make a book out of that. You know I don't write in that style. I don't, I don't. I have to learn how to write dialogue Like. It's a big learning curve for me, but you know I I look forward or am hoping to look forward to, you know, share more of the you know kind of personal one-on-one. You know stories of like things that have happened or like when we hear that story.
Speaker 2:Oh, I've got a few, but this one's like a really specific one unfortunately, I'm really wild too.
Speaker 1:We should talk, we should we should hang out just I'll tell you so you were, but going back to what you're saying of that, you didn't even realize that you were living through chapters of this book, and I think a lot of listeners right now are going through impatient time of their life Like they want to happen right now. But you're you are a great, you know reminder that the universe has better timing than we do, and sometimes you have to wait. Yes, just yesterday I was able to release the trailer for my new show. That took 10 years to create 10 years, and there were so many times that I cried over it not happening. But if it would have happened anytime before now, it wouldn't have been right. And so if somebody is listening to this and they feel a little bit stuck, what advice would you give to someone where, if they're in a moment where something's not clicking and they're doing all the right thing but things aren't coming together when you felt like that, how do you shift back into trusting the universe?
Speaker 2:I still deal with this basically every day of my life I'm not even kidding you and every single time I have to remind myself what I ultimately know is true, which is that the one variable in life that we not only don't control, but oftentimes can't see with full clarity, is not just the timing but the purpose for the timing, and it is so much bigger and so much more interwoven than you can imagine. And that's where you know, I think, that co creation starts to come in where you surrender. So the thing I always say is you're going to tell life what, but life is going to tell you how, so you know.
Speaker 1:So when you say but life is going to tell you how that is.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, but if you don't listen to the how, you're not going to get to the what. So? So I mean, I come across this, I mean seriously, every day, sabrina. It's like I'm telling life I want soulmate love, okay, life's saying not with them, and that's the holdup, right. So it's like, well, I'm trying to tell life, this is what I want, and it's like, but then you're arguing with life and life is trying to show you, you know, you're trying to tell life, well, I want to build a business, I don't know whatever it is, and then life is saying, okay, well, not selling that, and it's this.
Speaker 2:You know, again, I'm talking about this kind of ego surrender that I I even really went through in my own career of my willing to let go, my willing to surrender that you know to, to step into the bigger picture, and it's really amazing where life will carry you.
Speaker 2:You know when you do that. But the thing about you know the purpose of this moment is when things are either not coming like the way you thought, or as quickly as you thought, or in the timing you thought, or as quickly as you thought, or in the timing you think they're supposed to be happening. What you don't know is that there is something in this literal exact moment that you are learning, growing from growing into becoming through, that you don't recognize. And in a year from now, five years from now, you will look back and be like, oh my God, I get it, I get it, I see it, I see it, but it's true, and there's, there's, there's a, there's a purpose beyond just you know. Oh, it'll come one day. You know, have patience. It's like there's probably something, literally in this exact experience, that you need to become the person that can handle what it is you are asking for.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There's something right here now.
Speaker 1:When you're in it, when you're in it, you're like this sucks, I don't want. I've been in pretty like bad situations, whether it's a relationship or a career, and you just want it to shift. But sometimes it's like I started realizing, it's like this is happening for me and learning that there is a lesson in the struggles. And you said that life will break your heart if it means saving your soul which, by the way, what a line? Can you talk more about that? Because I think I've been through a lot of heartbreak and, looking back now I realized that it did get me to the point where I am now. But it sucks when you're in it. No-transcript, I thought I was never going to get over it. That's just going to. This is going to be. Daughter was in the back of the car I went. I went wait, that's amazing, I didn't just make that up and I'm like don't forget it. No, it doesn't matter, but but when you're in it, you actually think it will last forever and it doesn't, that's exactly right and it doesn't know.
Speaker 2:Also, you know, through that processing like, there's kind of sometimes a reason you can't see a step ahead. The reason is for you to be with this discomfort right now, because I know it is so counterintuitive and you're like WCF is this? This is insane. But there is something happening. Through this transit, Napoleon Hill, every adversity, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. But I think what's most important about remembering that is it's a seed, okay. So what has to happen to a seed? It has to be buried, it has to sprout, it has to be nurtured. It's not a guarantee.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean when people say, like you know, well, everything happens for a reason. It's like well, you can make, you can decide, you are going to find the meaning for this, you can choose that. It's not always pretty rarely actually it's going to just come to you, but so many times in my life I have chosen to no. This is not the valley, this is my pivot point. I've lost this. I don't have that.
Speaker 2:You know what? What is the silver lining here? When I don't have this, what is the equal but opposite, but likewise present reality, what's available to me in this moment. What advantages do I have that other people don't? I don't have a child, and I have had a long journey with this, but for other people who do as well, it's like that can become this eclipsing thing, Like I'm so in lack, I'm so without, I'm so far behind, and it's like pause, what can you do right now that you couldn't do otherwise? If that was your reality, you must move in that direction, because that's how life is trying to move you down the river. You know what I mean. And again, it's that surrendering of you know what I think I want, what I think I need, and into the greater wholeness and truth at this moment. And the other thing that I remind myself of every 24 hours and everyone I love, I remind them too which is nobody has everything.
Speaker 2:I'm just kidding, she might actually, she might actually, some people might no, but for us, for us normies, I love that for the rest of us nobody has everything and so, but everybody has something and you need to focus on your something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you're going to spend the rest of your life focusing on the one thing you don't have, or the many things you don't have, and you're going to miss your something, and then all these years are going to pass. You're going to miss your something and then all these years are going to pass. You're going to look back and you're going to be like but I did have, I had one true friend, but I did have that one work thing that came through, but I had a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. If that's all it is, that is a something you know. It's, it's, it's all of us. We know.
Speaker 2:We go through the years. It's this constant lack, lack, lack, lack, lack. And you look back and you're like, wow, how much I actually had and didn't even appreciate. And I think gratitude makes things grow. I really do. I think your attention makes things grow when you bring your attention onto. This is everything that I do have, and even in the spaces of okay. Well, these are things I don't have right now, but these are the opportunities that could be available, because I don't have them.
Speaker 1:Yes, You're absolutely right. I I unfortunately I had to. I lost my dog last year, at the end of last year and so sorry. It was the worst pain I've ever, literally the worst pain. And when I had to put her down, a friend of mine called and he said now start doing the things you couldn't do when she was alive, like traveling. And I thought that was like how dare he say that. But it is the celebrating, the love that I had with her, but then also the gratitude of the next chapter of my life and what that looks like.
Speaker 2:And it's hard again when you're in the pain, but it's so true what you're saying and can I add something onto that too, Because this has worked for me so many times and I've given this to friends and it's worked for them too trying to get over a breakup or a loss of some kind, the only thing that would ever truly start to get me over it is making a list I mean, I mean a literal one, not like a, not metaphorically, I mean literally writing it down of reasons You're kind of secretly glad it's over.
Speaker 1:Oh God, I still couldn't do that with my dog. The breakups, no, no, no, not the pup All day long. I'll write it down.
Speaker 2:Not the pup, but I just mean like you know, when it's like it's like a job falls, I mean like a job or a boyfriend or we know whatever that kind of stuff. Yes, not the puppy, but but but it's like with with that kind of stuff, it's like when you start to seek those silver linings, that peacefulness finds you where it's like, okay, there is a perspective shift here. But I also do think there's like I don't think being healed and healthy is just being calm all the time. I really don't.
Speaker 1:I think it's having that Seriously, I'm going to actually just put that clip and send it to my mother.
Speaker 2:I really think that, to me, healed is I'm able to move through my spectrum of feelings without getting caught in one or the other. So it's like when it's time to grieve, you grieve. Do you know what I mean? It's like you've experienced. Your body needs to. You need to take time, you need to go through these waves. There is nothing wrong with you because that's happening. You're actually probably a normal, healthy, adaptive person responding to a set of circumstances. That's incredibly difficult, but because life is what it is, not only do we not know what it will present us or give, we don't know if it'll get better or worse, and so we have to expand our resilience and our own bandwidth, which is, you know, I'm going to be able to meet this moment. I'm going to work on me. I'm going to work on this. You know, I'm going to ground myself more. And whatever it is, you know my.
Speaker 2:I once read that anxiety is a crisis of your trust in yourself, and yeah, and, and, and. A place where you can start to repair, that is if you sit down with what you have anxiety about and you say okay, where are the breaks in my trust with myself? Where am I not trusting myself? Where am I not showing up for myself, or where do I not trust myself to show up? And it's not that you have to fix it overnight, but even just to become aware of I'm feeling stressed because I don't trust myself to like stay on top of this whatever it is, and I think that that can really like start some real inner repair too.
Speaker 1:What are your? I mean knowing that you get into ruts. What are your like habits, daily habits that you do other than gratitude? Or even if you get a rut, like, how do you, how do you get out of it?
Speaker 2:personally, the first thing is to let myself feel like shit. Okay.
Speaker 1:What does that look like for you, cause I you look so put together right now, I can't imagine this.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, also. I don't know who can show of yourself tomorrow morning. Yes, like well, I actually will, because this is I am just fresh off of like a like a morning show. So this is like a professional beat on my face, okay, so my hair looks so frizzy. It's not usually this nice, but I, by the way I did this on, I was like, oh, I'm already going to be ready to do all the podcasts now like.
Speaker 1:Like you wake up in the morning, you don't feel good. What do you do? Like what's your personal, like habit or self-care practice?
Speaker 2:I try to just do the bare minimum and I know this sounds kind of crazy, but that's my honest truth. It's like if I need comfortable clothes, like I'll wear comfortable clothes. Like if I need to cook myself some comfort foods, like I will do that. If I need to go outside listen to music, whatever it is, I just try to follow what I need in that moment and not try to solve all of my problems like in an hour, which is like so much my tendency. And every time I just allow myself kind of to be human.
Speaker 2:I think we have this like unrealistic expectation of ourselves where it's like I need to be on, I need to be together, I've got to have it all together at all times and it's just like. But the nature of being human, for every single one of us, is these ebbs and flows, and every single time I'm in a rut and get out of it, it kind of happens. Naturally. I mean it Like if I just keep like moving along, like it will like pass, but every time it does something is stronger, better, clearer than it was prior, and every single time I'm able to look back on who I was before that and after and I'm like, oh wow, that was some growth that was happening, that was some releasing that was happening, even if I didn't know it at the time, Because at the time you're just like I'm miserable on this side.
Speaker 1:In order to prepare for you to be on the podcast, I was listening to old or like to interviews that you've been on and talks that you've done, and you said something that it was actually made me laugh, because you were talking about something that you had done to shift your life. You were discussing the pivot year. Another amazing book book must get it. If anyone is listening, just actually get all of her books. But you said that one of the most powerful things you did was to put your phone on do not disturb. Do you remember saying this? Yeah, baby, and I was listening. I'm like, oh my gosh, how many times I'm interrupted in a day for phone calls and stuff that gets me off track. And that is the smallest, easiest thing anybody can implement in their life. Can you talk about how you've created boundaries in your life and how that has changed your life for the better?
Speaker 2:Oh, I mean, you know my life has also moved into a place where it's like necessary at this point you know what I mean Like I can't, like I I wouldn't do anything else but like respond to other people if I didn't have that boundary. And it's like I try to make as much time for that as I can, but also I can't let it like run me to the ground. Do you know what I mean? Like I have to eventually say, okay, I need to tap out, but I put my phones on to not disturb right now. Like it is, but it is every day and I to me. I think that's also just a way of communicating to other people. If I'm not responding immediately, it's not personal, like I'm just my focus is elsewhere. Do you know what I mean? Because I think that's what would give me anxiety about not being like.
Speaker 1:So wait, do you, let's say, somebody calls, do you have like an automatic response like busy call you later, or just no answer?
Speaker 2:No, it depends on who it is and what it's for. But if it's someone I need to just like get back to, I will just kind of like be honest with them If it's not undue, no stirper. They just like, hey, what about this? And I'm like, oh, hey, like I'm doing this today, but can I call you on this day? And I'll just be like honest. Or I'm like, oh, I'm just like having a, like I'm taking off today, can I like do this later?
Speaker 2:And everyone's like, oh, my gosh, yeah, but you're not disappointing them. You're actually like making them happy. Because they're like, oh, perfect, talk to you tomorrow. Yeah, and it really can be that easy actually, because I know that when I'm on the receiving end of that, if I'm like, oh, hey, what about this? And they're like, oh, I appreciate, hey, at dinner I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm like, oh, like, for most of time did not well, a few things didn't have like all of the world's information accessible, like in the palm of their life and many people they don't even know, all at once, I think it does something psychologically that I don't know. That is always so healthy for us to be honest with you, but I think also that being on demand thing. Do you know what I mean when people can just command your attention at any time? Do you remember the days of like?
Speaker 1:a labor all of a sudden. We used to have work hours of nine to five. Now work hours are 24 seven. That and the comparison factor that we're having of media that we should know it's. It does no matter how strong you are. I think that everyone suffers from I'm not doing enough, I'm not there enough. And if somebody is listening to this and feels like they're kind of in a rut and they're not, they didn't make it yet or they want to change. What would you say to somebody that you know maybe they want to shift their life but can't?
Speaker 2:I think the first place we all have to start is by identifying what's our actual want for fulfillment versus what do we think is going to fill in a picture that would kind of like generate a validation from other people. I know it sounds probably simple, but I think that the more that we like something, the less we need other people to Wait, this is the quote.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is your quote. The more you like something, the less you need other people to, and the more wait, and then the less you need people to like something, the more they will, the more they do.
Speaker 2:That's exactly right.
Speaker 1:That's a good quote.
Speaker 2:It's so good. First of all, thank you. Second, any time in my life I was like the most hung up on, like I'm behind. I don't compare, you know, I do other. What do other people think of it? Every single time it was in some way about some part of my life or in some experience where I kind of felt empty with it. It wasn't actually fulfilling me, Like I didn't feel good, Like I wasn't having any kind of good experience with it, and so then I would kind of hyper fixate on like well, like kind of like, do other people know this isn't working? And the answer is mixed. It's like sometimes, sometimes very intuitive friends are like yeah, I can tell something's up, or I think a lot of the world doesn't really think about I don't think other people think about us the way that we think they do. To be honest with you, Right, Like I think that they're Nobody's talking about me right now.
Speaker 2:No, like they're doing their own life. They're like busy. You know what I mean? Yeah, Like they have their own stuff going on. But I think we all think that we all feel like we're under this microscope and it's like anxiety inducing, of like am I?
Speaker 1:enough, like it's not an ego thing. I think we think that people are having like husband and wives. Friends of ours are like in the coffee in the morning and be like honey. Let's talk about Sabrina. It's like nobody's doing that.
Speaker 2:Like nobody's doing that, right, but we think that they are somehow which is what keeps us up at night, being like, oh God, you know what I mean. And I think that also, people have not only grace, but genuine appreciation for just being human. You know what I mean. I have so many friends in my life. It's like I'm going through it right now. I'm like, okay, you know what, We'll go through it together. Like it's okay. You know what I mean. Like it's okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, two last things. So, obviously, the life that's waiting is your new book. Get it. Everyone who's listening get it. If you are listening right now, just while you're listening, if you're listening on your phone, go and follow her on Instagram, because it is one of the best accounts I follow, always forwarding your memes or your poems and your writings. But if, what would you? What would you say? Is your the first book of yours that you would recommend to a new reader? It's somebody who hasn't ever read one of your books before 101 essays.
Speaker 2:That will change the way you think it's kind of like. It's kind of like the starter pack.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like put together an ultimate box set. Okay, give me, like, just give me the set as a gift, I'll be your first customer.
Speaker 2:You're my first customer. Thank you, maybe my only, but I hope there's a hug to it for you though.
Speaker 1:No, seriously, call it whatever you want, but just call it like the ultimate life book set, because it's the Mountain Is. You is the first book that I got of yours and it just introduced me to you, but I was going through it at the time. And since then I just I can't. I mean, I'm telling you I am your biggest fan. I'm going to actually start a Facebook fan page and I'll be the president. I seriously love you.
Speaker 2:And look at, we're like wearing the same thing, we're like match. This is not planned. This is not planned. This is just kindred spirit shit.
Speaker 1:I seriously adore you Spirit shit.
Speaker 2:I don't know what that is Spirit shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's it, Spirit shit. Anyone listening in the show notes, I will have the information on the book, all of the books. Instagram, the whole nine how you can get in touch. You're the best, Thank you. Thank you so much for being on you.