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Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto is a podcast dedicated to inspiring intentional living, personal growth, and transformation. Hosted by design expert and lifestyle guru Sabrina Soto, each episode dives into conversations about wellness, mindset, home, and self-improvement with leading experts and thought leaders. With a mix of practical advice, heartfelt storytelling, and empowering insights, Redesigning Life is your go-to space for creating a life that feels as good as it looks—one thoughtful choice at a time.
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Finding Abundance Ever After with Cathy Heller
Cathy Heller shares powerful insights on worthiness, abundance, and stepping into your higher self through heart-centered awareness rather than mind-driven scarcity. Her perspective transforms how we understand our inherent value and provides practical tools for manifesting a more aligned life.
• We are intrinsically worthy as "pieces of the master"—our value doesn't come from external achievement
• The mind produces 90,000 thoughts daily based in scarcity while heart wisdom operates from fullness
• Spending just five minutes connecting with your heart each morning can transform your entire day
• We function as "radios" tuning to different energetic frequencies that create matching experiences
• Learning to receive rather than constantly give is essential to true abundance
• Small, consistent "micro-practices" like beauty baths in nature create sustainable transformation
• Successful people share one common trait: grit—the ability to anticipate challenges and push through
• Choosing authenticity over belonging frees you to express your true self without apology
If you enjoyed this episode, grab a copy of Cathy's book "Abundance Ever After" available now, I LOVED reading it and visit my website for more episodes on redesigning life from the inside out.
https://www.cathyheller.com/
Welcome to Redesigning Life. I'm your host, sabrina Soto, and this is the space where we have honest conversations about personal growth, mindset shifts and creating a life that feels truly aligned. In each episode, I'll talk to experts in their fields who share their insights to help you step into your higher self. Let's redesign your life from the inside out. Kathy Heller, thank you for coming on Redesigning Life. I am such a fan of yours, your new book, and we have so many friends in common that you're going to now become my best friend, whether you like it or not.
Speaker 2:Done. I'm totally happy to do it.
Speaker 1:I have no problem just showing up to your house all the time, so thank you.
Speaker 2:It's so incredibly kind, especially coming from someone like you who's such a burst of sunshine. I feel like you have the equivalent of like 5,000 people's souls in you. You're so radiant and so happy to just like just do good and share good and make things beautiful and it's really, it's just so cool that you're like that and built that way. So the fact that you read my book and then DM me and you're like, oh my gosh, this book I'm like it's so fun when you put things out in the world and it's like when you what was that thing they used to do when they like put a message in a bottle and it gets washed up to shore, you know, and it's like you, you write a book and you kind of like send it out and then somehow it like the message in the bottle, it like gets delivered to the exact people that you meant to write it for.
Speaker 1:So it's just really cool. Thank you. Right now we could just end the podcast and I'd be happy.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And the way that I got. I mean, we have so many mutual friends. But your book I didn't realize that it came out in December, right, and I was on a walk with somebody that I admire and she was reading it and then I, that day, I bought it and I'm like, I text her. I'm like, holy crap, this. This book is so good. So I have so many things that I want to discuss. I feel like this book is a love letter for anyone who's feeling unworthy Is that, like who did you write it for when you were coming? Like what made you write this book? Because I know you have such a huge career, but how did you decide to put all of this knowledge into this book? And why abundance ever after?
Speaker 2:Well, it's interesting that you said that the feeling of worthiness I do feel, like you know, I think very often, whether we know it or not, I heard somebody once say that every book we ever write we wrote for our mother, and you know, your mom is like such a primal relationship, and so my mom struggled with her own sense of self-worth. And so it's interesting that you asked that question, because I do feel like she was my first student, so to speak, because I spent my childhood, you know, bringing her flowers and writing her notes and giving her encouragement, kind of being her like Jiminy Cricket, like giving her this pep talk all the time. And I think her depression and my parents divorce and her talent and her talent collecting dust on the shelf and her not really feeling fulfilled all of that became sort of the fertilizer on which I sought out to find out what would be the antidote, and I think the book is for me the antidote, like it is the medicine, and part of it is the idea that we are each a masterpiece, a piece of the master, and that we're each someone, we're some of the one. And those are both quotes from my rabbi, david.
Speaker 2:Aaron and I lived in the old city of Jerusalem for three years after college. I thought I was going to be there for a few weeks. I stayed and stayed and stayed and I lived with this family, this rabbi and his wife and his seven children. It was just totally fortuitous that this happened. But that really was like hitting control, alt, delete on the software program, which was my understanding of the world, and it really changed the program because I came to understand that we are intrinsically worthy, because we are a piece of the whole right, that when Abraham said that God is one, he didn't say there's a one God over there. What he meant was that it's all oneness, right, and that this infinite field that Einstein talks about, this quantum field, right, right, and that this infinite field that Einstein talks about, this quantum field, right. It's like we are all whirlpools of consciousness in this one ocean, right, and we are each like a light bulb and the divine light flows through each of us. We are each an instrument for beauty, for love, for creativity, for beauty, for love, for creativity, and we are all so much more than enough, right, like if, if really our job is to be that instrument by which this divine light flows through, then we are. We are capable of that at zero seconds old, right. There's no degree. You need to get to be an instrument for love, for oneness, for compassion, for equanimity.
Speaker 2:It is built in to who we really are and when you really start to get that, it changes the whole model, because most people's paradigm is a sense of I'm not enough. And in order to be enough, I need to acquire things, I need piles of things, I need a degree, I need to externalize all the ways I feel like I am enough so that maybe the external validation or the external piles of things will make me feel like I'm enough on the inside, Right. Well, when you flip all, feel like I'm enough on the inside, right. Well, when you flip all that and you know that on the inside, who you are is love itself, what you are is presence itself. What you are is overqualified to be significant in someone's day just by your very beingness, then you stop chasing all the wrong things. You realize how worthy you are. You realize how important you are because you can make another person see further every day. You can love another person into life every day, right. And all of that becomes putting your ladder on such a different wall, right, and then your capacity to feel.
Speaker 2:How good you get to feel when you work with the universe, the way it's intended. It's just fascinating. Like I'm looking outside my window right now, I'm looking at my backyard there's nothing rushing, there's nothing urgent, there's nothing that's worried, it's all in flow, it's all in an ecosystem, it's all being fed, it's all thriving and it's all flowing together. Right, when one thing is thriving, it creates thriving for the whole garden. Right, it all works as one geometric pattern, but so do we.
Speaker 2:But when we don't feel that way, we're constantly feeling urgent, constantly in lax, constantly in scarcity, constantly trying to prove and to do and hustle and whatever it is Like. If you could just pare it all back and slow down, you would feel the abundance that lives within you all the time. There's nowhere to run to, it's always inside. And so this is why I wrote this book, right, and I also wrote the book because I want people to understand all of what I just said and how to use the technology of the universe, of your soul, to manifest the most beautiful life. And when you start to understand how to use yourself as the radio that picks up different frequencies, you realize how easy it actually is. It's meant to feel that easy, it's meant to flow in synchronicity. Easy, it's meant to flow in synchronicity and therefore you don't have to do it the way so many well-meaning adults told you to do it, because they unfortunately got the wrong message, also that it has to be hard earned.
Speaker 1:This is why I love your book so much, because it is the soul behind being abundant. It's I've read a million books they're behind me, but I've read a million books about being abundant and it's you know, a lot of them are great and money-driven and, and you know, having the things around you, the materialistic things around you. But your book is about the why, the you even said it like the why you want to feel what and fill in the blank because everyone's going to be different and I think that's what is so wonderful. But if somebody is listening and they're like, yeah, okay, you say I am worthy, just as just as I am now, but they don't feel that, how do you raise your self-esteem? What would you tell someone who wants to feel worthy but doesn't necessarily they feel a little stuck right now?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, I think that we operate from two parts of ourself, right Like when we are coming from even that question. That question is not coming from our heart, that question is coming from our head.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right, because our mind actually has no answers in it. All wisdom comes from the heart and if you were to ask your heart, how do you know that you're worthy? Your heart just answers I am, I am that. I am that I am right. The mind is a bunch of fake news. The mind is not where the compass and the charts live. In fact, they just did a study at Columbia University and they did fMRIs on different monks' brains. There's almost zero brain activity at all because all of their wisdom comes from their heart. Their mind isn't chattering a lot, so part of it is really just beginning with that knowing.
Speaker 2:When you wake up in the morning, do you sit for a moment? Do you arrive at your own door? Do you get still for even a minute and ask your heart what do you need to remember today? Because it's where all the answers live, because your mind's just going to tell you here's where you're falling short. Yep, here's what you need to prove. My cat is sitting right in front of me. No need to prove anything and it's glorious, right? You look at nature, look at children not proving Not yet in that part of the mind and so impressive, so majestic, so stunning.
Speaker 2:So this is why most people, at some point in their life, discover meditation or they discover some kind of a practice, prayer, slowing down, getting in nature. When you just live in the mind all day long, you're just going to keep having that question and the mind's going to give you more of it. It's not even going to give you the answer. So the first thing is really finding your way back to your heart, returning to your wisdom, yeah, reclaiming your spiritual sovereignty. You know, I think the reason we all love Wicked and everyone's watching it and rewatching it and seen it on Broadway and watch the movie is because at some point she realizes it's inside of her. There is no Wizard of Oz.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And for each of us, any movie we've ever watched the Karate Kid, rocky, good Will Hunting, devil Wears Prada, the hero's journey is finally, finally setting down the barrier to listening to your own truth. So in the mind there's just a lot of yim-yam. It's like listening to Charlie Brown's mom Wah, wah, wah. You can't even hear it. It doesn't make any sense, because most of what comes from the mind is not even yours. It's a program. It's 90,000 thoughts a day, most of which are repeated Groundhog Day. It's usually things you picked up from parents, things you picked up from teachers. It's always lowest common denominator, it's always scarcity, it's always negative.
Speaker 2:The mind is always in lack, it always wants more, it craves dopamine, which is the molecule of more, and the heart is never in lack, it's always full. The heart is in serotonin, it's in equanimity, it's in the, in the beingness of this moment, which is why you can go to a funeral and you can have this saddest day and your heart can still be with that sadness and almost find satisfaction in the grief, because the grief itself is love and your heart breaks open with love. In fact, those are the days. Sometimes you're not in your mind and while you're really, really sad. You're so in your mind and while you're feeling really sad, you're so in your heart that you feel overflow of the love you felt for this person, which is what grief is. So it's really interesting how we have to and this is why I wrote the book plug in. I talk in the book about like having a toaster that's not plugged in. Well, what is it? Just taking up space.
Speaker 2:Plug it in and now we can make you breakfast, right so?
Speaker 2:it's like all day long. Most of the time, people are just sleepwalking like an avatar, like a zombie, like walking through life, as opposed to plugging in for five minutes every morning and saying to your heart what do you need me to remember today? What do you need me to remember today? And what am I really, after we get so distracted from why we're really here today. You are here for wellbeing. You are here for your wellbeing, to give others wellbeing. You are here to connect. You're not here to produce. You're not here to get more followers, you're not.
Speaker 2:It's like you're here to be in a state of rapture of beauty and goodness and purpose and significance.
Speaker 2:And all of a sudden it's like, oh, I can let go of all the outcomes that my mind is so gripped on and then move into the present moment of my being. What am I here? And that's where all your abundance is. And the funny thing is, the more you practice being in the present, where you are fully in overflow, fully in appreciation and satisfaction with how much there is to appreciate, you start manifesting so much more. That's right, because we manifest from wholeness, not from lack, but when we're in lack and when we need it, and when the exterior and the outcomes are everything that we our mind tells us we need in order to be enough. You'll actually just keep pushing it further and further away. The journey won't be fun. You'll be stressed the whole time and you'll be denying yourself the greatest thing, which is your life today, and how much greater it could be if you just let yourself show up for it and take all this pressure off that you have to prove something to someone when really you're just here to fully be here in this moment.
Speaker 1:You create, you've created such an amazing community and you have retreats with women and I'm sure you've heard this a million times it's like, well, yeah, I want to feel that and I want to just be in my own soul, but I'm constantly surrounded by lack. I see lack, I see bills, I see my husband who's a pain in the ass. So, maybe not everybody, but hopefully not. But but how? You know what? How can you return?
Speaker 2:to self. Well, first of all, I mean that is the inherent video game that we're playing, because what you just said is how do I protect my energy? Essentially and I often hear that and I say it's the opposite it's not how do I protect my energy, it's how do I project my energy. The more that you truly tap into the well right Of what's inside of you, you'll realize very quickly you actually become the wifi router that turns everyone else on. So, for instance, like the Dalai Lama, if he went to the DMV, right, or if he was stuck on the 405 in traffic, it wouldn't matter what's going on around him, because his energy is so resonant, it would turn everybody on. Right, the most impressive person in the room is not the person with the greatest bank account or who went to the hardest college. It's whose energy is the most resident and that person turns everyone on. Everyone just feels this coherence of this person. Right, it's impressive, it's energy, because we're all made of energy. So I think we have to remember how much of that lives in us and how literally we are all made of energy. Right, an atom is 99% energy and 1% particle, and everything is made of atoms, which means the world we're swimming in that looks physical is 99% an energetic world, and when your energy is loving and vital and awake and alive and there's a sense of ease and flow and creativity to you, that is so much more powerful and dominant than people's icky, sticky negativity that it will actually bend their energy into something that's way more resonant. Just like if you had a classroom of kids in seventh grade who have no respect for their teacher, let's say, because, let's just say, and a substitute comes in who has a lot of presence and she works with these kids and she comes back and talks to the teacher when the teacher comes back from her break and she says what a great experience she had. Right, because, like in dead poet society, right, like Robin Williams, with that classroom of kids, his energy, he called them forward to their highest authority because he could see it in them. Right, great leaders make leaders.
Speaker 2:When JFK said no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't, don't ask about what your country is going to do for you. What are you going to do? What he was saying is that's how powerful you are. He made everyone believe in themselves. That's why he said we're going to put a man on the moon and his team said um, sir, we don't know how to do that. And he was like, but you'll find a way, cause that's vision. We get so disempowered and then we see everybody else as half of who they are. Yes, we remember who we are. We remember that we're all some of the one, we're all someone, some of the same one. And everyone has access to rise. And when you walk into a room and you're peaceful and you're loving, and you then see in everybody else what they're capable of, they will meet you there.
Speaker 1:You told a story in your book about the, and forgive me for not remembering the cookie, the name of the cookie company.
Speaker 2:Mignon Francois. Mignon Francois.
Speaker 1:Yes, and you were telling you the story was so fascinating because it wasn't about the cookies. You said it was about. You know, she was able to give somebody a smile every single day when she sold the cookies.
Speaker 2:So amazing she's so amazing.
Speaker 1:But think about that. You think, well, oh, big deal, you're selling cookies, but like it was the energy of what she put behind the cookies that made her so successful. And I think we all have the capability of doing that, no matter what business that we're in.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's really what we're selling. Is energy right? When people buy Jimmy Shoes or Manolo Blahniks, it's not because they think that there's something about the leather that they need. They're spending many times what they could buy shoes for. It's the energy of the brand If you stay at the Four Seasons versus staying at the Hyatt. It's the energy of what it tells you about how you value yourself right, yes, okay, can you tell that story about?
Speaker 1:because again, you guys have to read this book because there's. These are just like a few stories but but the story of like, when you went to the expensive hotel and your friends were like it's too expensive, by the way, I have, I feel that way in my life, but you, everybody was telling you it was too expensive. You said I can't afford not to go because it was the feeling that you'd wanted to to to surround yourself with. Can you explain to listeners why that's important to surround yourself with? The quote unquote too expensive things to be able to manifest.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly. So you know, I grew up with a single mom. We didn't have any money and when I came out to Los Angeles I had just lived in Jerusalem for three years. So my batteries were pretty charged spiritually and I came here and I just on a whim, wanted to go to Los Angeles. And so I come to Los Angeles and I get a job. I found it on Craigslist and I'm working as an assistant to somebody and making very little money minimum wage and I'm living with my roommate and I'm 24 years old and I start going every week to the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills and she's like what are you doing? Like it's so expensive to go there, and it was $200 to get a massage, which was quite a big check out of my paycheck. And I said to her it's the opposite, you can't afford not to go.
Speaker 2:Because by spending the money to go to that spa and sitting there all day and drinking the tea and the biscotti, and the way the blanket would feel and the ice wrapped towels in eucalyptus and you put them on your face, the oxygen of all of that was a new standard. It was setting a new standard, it was showing myself a new possibility and energetically. It was helping me memorize a new normal and I would leave there with so many creative ideas. I would leave there changing my own energy, and what you tune to is what you become. So you know, in the book I talk about the law of reception and this is Rabbi Aaron's idea that he's taught to me and I share this in the book that he said to me, if you turned on a radio, you would hear music in this room right now. So where was the music before you turned on a radio? You would hear music in this room right now. So where was the music before you turned on the radio? And the answer is it was here, but it was hidden, hidden in plain sight. But then, when you turn the radio on, you realize you can move the dial and hear many different songs. You can hear hip hop, you can hear oldies, you can hear Celine Dion, you can hear Billie Eilish. All of this exists in the same room.
Speaker 2:Well, what's doing the selecting the radio is tuning to different frequencies which are bringing in different broadcasts in the very same room. So each of us is a radio and what we are tuned to, that becomes literally our own vibration, our own frequency and it plays a song, so to speak. So your energy is the skeleton key by which you are choosing the reality you're in. So the reality you're in is inevitable because it's a match to whatever energy you are tuned to. So when a person is tuned, I mean think about it, everyone who's listening right now you can think about examples in your own life.
Speaker 2:When you had a friend who always dates a guy who treats her well and she has just this way of like meeting a guy who not only does he treat her well, he has money, he has a great family, you know you're like, wow, okay. And then you have this other friend and she's just as pretty, in fact maybe she's, you know, even more accomplished, or whatever and she just always dates a guy who treats her terribly. You're like, well, what's what's happening? Well, everything is an energetic selection and certain people tune to certain things based on their capacity to receive, and certain people's capacity to receive is greater. Think of a light bulb. Some light bulbs hold 45 Watts and after 45 Watts they'll crack. Some light bulbs hold a thousand Watts or maybe a hundred, or whatever it is. There are some women. You try to give them a compliment, they go no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This old thing, no, I look terrible. You're like wow, you really received that.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I'm getting better, but I used to be like oh, I got this on Amazon.
Speaker 2:I'll send you the link. Hold on, let me get you a coupon. It's like, oh, exactly, yeah, or somebody. When my husband and I first got engaged I needed a new car. And I tell this story in the book that I went to go get a new car. And he goes in and hands me the key and I'm like, oh, did you negotiate a good rate for my lease? And he's like no, I just bought you the car. And I was.
Speaker 2:That pushed me over my edge of receiving. I actually got really scared and I actually got upset because my father left. When I was a kid, no one ever bought me a car and I looked at him like you just bought me an expensive car, like what do I owe you now? Like it actually scared me, right, and I didn't feel worthy of that kind of level of a gift. And over time I just kept expanding my capacity to just say thank you, thank you, god, what a gift. Thank you for the opportunity to write a book, thank you, thank you for this gift, thank you for this friend, thank you for when I just I just launched my book and I had so many friends throw beautiful parties for me, you know, in their house and their backyard and the Palisades, and it's like I'm just standing there and just like thank you, so much gratitude that I could get to a place in my life where I could just receive it.
Speaker 2:I had a mother who couldn't receive. Husband cheated on her, never kind to herself, never got herself a manicure, would never let herself buy herself anything nice Right, buy herself anything nice Right. It's just like there's so much we have to unpack because there are generations that came before us that modeled for us almost that self-sacrifice is how you prove worthiness and it's almost selfish to have needs. Yes, and you know we all watch the Barbie movie and the whole monologue she gives is that men are not necessarily socialized that way, but women tend to be and it's the opposite. Women anatomy, wise, kabbalistically, women are the receiver and if you look just at the anatomy right, that is a huge role in humanity. It's just the receiving. It creates the space to build a whole human.
Speaker 2:What did you do? What did I do during my pregnancy? Well, I made space to receive and while I did that, you know, god and my body together made arms and legs and teeth and a whole person. It wasn't like I was thinking much about it. I was just allowing that space right, creating a space for something, and receiving such a gift called life. It's huge, though Think about it.
Speaker 2:Think about a therapist who sits in a room the client is the one who's talking the whole time and then they say to the therapist oh my God, you don't know what you just did for me. What did they do? They held space to receive this person, and the person felt safe and seen and, as a result, it leads them to their own wisdom. Receiving means not pushing, not trying, not efforting, not proving, and yet in just receiving, we give so much. Imagine you love your best friend. You show up at her house, you give her a gift and she goes no, I don't want this, no, I've. But imagine she says thank you so much. It makes you feel good to give her.
Speaker 1:Yes, right. So when we don't accept that in our life, we're actually pushing people away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we, we deny people. You know they say that men in relationships if they don't feel that you will receive what they have to give, they'll find somebody else who will receive it. It's like there's an ego boost for a guy who feels like I can make you happy. That feels so good to me. And the truth is that the people who love us, the people who work for us, our best friends, our sister, our neighbors it's okay to have needs and just to be like. Thank you so much. This is my preference. I so appreciate it, thank you. So it makes people feel that who they are, you needed something, that there was something they could give you that contributed to your life. It makes them feel significance, versus saying I don't need anyone, you're totally insignificant. If anything, I'll overgive to you, because that's how much I'm needed. But no people do like feeling needed. And what is that? Barbra Streisand song People who need people are the luckiest people. There's something so beautiful about giving and receiving, and that's why the infinity sign. It's just like the heart. Think of the heart. The heart receives all the blood in the body and then gives it right back, and that's why those of us who are thinking about receiving and blocking it.
Speaker 2:Let's say you feel like, who am I to have all this money? It's not yours. You are a lightning rod on behalf of the collective. So when you fix up your house, your neighbor's house just automatically went up in value because you improved your house. Boy, do you know that? Right? Yes, when I start a business and money goes into my bank account, it's automatically funding other people's mortgages and student loans immediately. That's why I'm making interest on it.
Speaker 2:We are one. We are always one. If I open a adorable ice cream shop on main street, I just created abundance because now other stores could open and do better, because my store is doing well, right, so we work as one. And if we don't understand that we work as one, then we say to ourselves who am I to receive? But when we understand that on behalf of the collective, when Reese Witherspoon sold her company for a billion dollars, she opened doors for thousands of other women to follow in her footsteps. That's right. So why would that be a negative? It's the opposite. It's a positive for you to be a walking billboard of possibility for other people not to say look at me, but come with me.
Speaker 1:You were talking earlier about the radio station. I think a lot of people probably be listening, going like, well, I want to raise, I want to be in the frequency of what I want. So what's a quick thing people can do to raise their vibration?
Speaker 2:I mean there's so many things. First of all, stop and notice. Sometimes I just took a deep breath with you. Stop and notice where your mind is. Sometimes, set a reminder on your phone, like I'm just going to stop and notice, like, what am I even thinking about right now? And you'll notice, oh my God, I'm, I'm either regulated or dysregulated. I'm either betraying myself or I'm not. And so much of your day you'll realize, oh my God, I was being critical of myself for three hours, or I was working on something I don't want to do, or I was saying yes to a thing I want to say no to, or I wasn't setting a boundary. No wonder I'm just self-abandoning everywhere. So that's number one, just starting to have the awareness. Are you self-abandoning right in this moment or not? Are you being authentic? Are you being in accordance with your own soul right now? Number one awareness.
Speaker 2:Number two I say to people, the same way that you select what you want to wear today, like I picked this shirt and I was like, oh, this shirt's so cute, right? The same way you select the earrings you're going to wear, the color eyeshadow You're going to put on I want you to stop and, for 90 seconds, select how do you want to feel today? And then literally feel it in your body Like I want to feel ease today. What does it feel like to feel ease? I want to feel surrender. Today, I want to feel that everything is already available and on the way. Oh my God, 90 seconds of that. It's like. How would that change your day? Who would you be in the world If you were driving the car? You were driving the car, not your unconscious autopilot, scarcity driven thoughts, but you. You were here and creating intention around your day. It's a total game changer and it doesn't have to be an hour of meditation.
Speaker 2:Another thing to do is like make it a practice to spend 10 minutes outside, leave your phone just for like a beauty bath. Oh, I love that. A beauty bath. Yeah, it's like I'm going to spend 10 minutes in nature and just notice beauty.
Speaker 2:Like last night, my daughter and I did this. We sat outside the backyard and I said let's watch the colors of the sky change as the sun sets and we'll call out the colors. So it started orange, red and it goes all the way to purple, lavender, black, right, it's like you watch the whole thing in a span of like 15 minutes. And while that's happening, I said to her what do you like better, minutes? And while that's happening, I said to her what do you like better? The way it looks now, or the way it looks now when the twinkle lights come on and the houses are now lit up. They went from being homes in the mountain to little lights in the mountain and she was like the lights. And then she goes mom, look at that star and look it's like a beauty bath.
Speaker 2:Right, that is such a elevating energetic tool. Another one is like how dare you get through your whole day and not have danced in your kitchen? Like, turn on Meghan Trainor, turn on whatever song gets you going Tiesto, pitbull, penny Loggins, penny Loggins, yeah, please celebrate me. Just like, put something, something on footloose and just like, let your energy be moved by. It is literally a sound bath music, right? So there's, we make it so complicated.
Speaker 2:We basically make it like, unless I learn how to meditate and sit down for 30 minutes, there's no use, so I'll do nothing. It's like there's a million ways for you to change your energy. Another one is listen to a podcast that lifts you up for five minutes a day.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Go listen to my podcast. Listen to Esther Hicks on YouTube. Listen to Sabrina oh.
Speaker 1:I love an Esther Hicks moment.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Let her rant. You know. Whatever it is, it's like your mind is actually not your friend and so what it will do is it will try to unseat you by saying why even bother? There's no point. And really, as James Clear says, in Atomic Habits, it's like little, tiny micro changes. Anyway, big swooping changes never work.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm the person who, january 1st, I say to my husband, that's it this year, getting fit, I'm going to, and he's like, oh, here she goes. And then I go to go to Lululemon, I get two new outfits. I get two, you know, two new pairs of running shoes. 15 days later I'm like I've had it. I'm not going to the gym. I'm not right, that doesn't even work.
Speaker 2:What does work is to say I'm going to spend two minutes a day stretching in the morning, that's it. Then I'm going to build on that. I'm going to drink a little bit more water than I did yesterday. Great, like that's. Yeah, that's actually how you make massive change is making two degree shifts. In fact, I think I say this in the book that if you were on a boat and you change course two degrees and you keep going on the boat and you switch course by two degrees, you'll wind up in a different continent. So let's, let's really hear that and not overestimate what it takes, and actually be very calculated about tiny little changes to our own frequency, and over time you start getting the hang of what it feels like to actually be a vibe, to be yourself.
Speaker 1:Speaking of your podcast, you have interviewed hundreds of people like the best authors and mindset coaches and new thought teachers. What do you think everyone if you had to do? Like something that they all had in common, like what's some, what's there? What did you see of a common mindset? Maybe everybody has?
Speaker 2:I think that we know this, but I'm going to say it again I think our greatest resource is our own resourcefulness. And it's the same thing that Angela Duckworth said in her book grit successful people. They're not the people who are always the hottest, although I've interviewed a lot of really good looking people. Um, it's not that and it's not their IQ and it's not their religion and it's not how tall they are, it's their grit. And every person that I've interviewed is gritty, and I'm like that and I'm sure you're like that. Yeah, gritty people, they know they're going to hit a dip. So what Gritty people anticipate it and they push past it. You know, organic chemistry is a dip and it actually filters out a lot of what could have been good doctors, because they say this is too hard. And some less talented people make it through organic chemistry and become doctors because they're just more gritty, right? So when I was growing up, if somebody told me I don't think you can do that, I'm like, oh, it's game on. Thank you, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, actually a gift.
Speaker 2:Game on, like the fact that you doubted that I could pull that off is all the ammunition I need.
Speaker 1:Let's freaking go there are no two words I love to say more than watch me Exactly.
Speaker 2:I'm like because you don't know about me, right, you got me confused with someone else.
Speaker 1:Last thing I want to talk to you about because I believe it with every vein in my body, of how important authenticity is and how even no, like watching somebody on television, because I'm in television all of my life Like you could tell, like the audience can tell, when somebody is not acting authentic, and I feel like that's what sets people apart in being successful in any career that they have. Can you talk about of like surrendering to just being authentic and not giving an F if not everyone loves you? Cause I think that's a fear, especially with the internet. The worldwide web is a scary place.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I mean. This is a hundred percent the biggest single issue to humanity, because we want to belong so badly, and my friend Mark Grove says it so well. He says all day long, human beings are making a choice between authenticity or belonging, and they will choose belonging, which means think about this. They belong to no one Because, in order to belong, they self-abandon, so they don't belong to themselves anymore. And they don't belong to themselves anymore and they don't belong to the other person because the person chose a version of them that's not them. So nobody's there, and this is like a slow suicide. So the thing about it is it's not a problem if people don't like us. We're meant to be that way. Not everybody likes the same flavor of food. Not everyone likes Indian curry. Not everyone of food. Not everyone likes Indian curry. Not everyone likes Japanese food. Not everyone likes Mediterranean food. There's not a problem with that.
Speaker 1:Right, it's good. There's nothing wrong with mustard. You just might not like it.
Speaker 2:Exactly Like, and when you get in the car after going to a party, you might turn to your boyfriend or spouse and say, like she's just not my vibe, what's wrong with that? So if somebody doesn't like you, why do you need to get in their business? Why do you have to control what they think of you? The trick is, when you are your own real best friend, you can set everyone free and you go. I totally get that. I might not be your vibe, you don't have to justify it to me. I'm unattached to needing you to like me and that wholeness is actually a gift to everyone else because it really isn't a problem and you don't need to go make other people get you like, let them not get you, it's okay. There's a billion of us right.
Speaker 1:I had Brianna Weist on my podcast this morning and she says it the more you like something, the less you need other people to like it. You know.
Speaker 2:And it's true. You just do you. And then it's so freeing because you can say and believe and do all the things that you want and you also let other people have the same thing. Like when I post something on Instagram or say something, people my team will say do you want me to delete and block these? If there's negative comments? There's mostly very positive comments, but a few. I say no because I don't even have a problem. I don't expect the world to be a copy paste version of me. It doesn't even bother me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It really is good. It actually shows that I have a point of view and that they get to have a point of view. We don't have the same face. Why would we have the same beliefs? Right, it's so maddening, actually, and it keeps people from being unapologetic. And I said to my agent a few years ago I was at well, now I'm at Gersh, but I think this was I was at UTA and I said to my agent what makes a person successful? And she said being unapologetic, authenticity. And she said that's why Joe Rogan became the biggest podcaster. He's not trying to be anything other than himself, right, he's not trying to impress anybody. He's not trying to say here's all my degrees, here's where I went to school, he's just a bro having a conversation, and people love it because they are wanting to be authentic like that. And it is such a gift to give yourself Free yourself.
Speaker 1:Free yourself everyone. Yeah, kathy, I think this, if it were up to me, this would be the first redesigning life that would be like 15 hours long, just like go to sleep, wake up, keep talking. I thank you so much for your time. For anyone listening, I will have all the information on the book book on how to follow Kathy, and all the socials, all the good stuff. Thank you so much, kathy. You have to come back on, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, I mean, if I had what my version of your 15 hours is. I would just follow you through your work life because what you create, it's so creative and it's so beautiful and it's so. It's. It's everything we talked about, because spaces that make you feel your nervous system align, it's on which you can create so many ideas right when your space is. So I just love what you do and thank you for having me on and thank you for being so genuinely enthusiastic about my book oh, my gosh, gosh.
Speaker 1:I'm obsessed. Thank you.