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Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto is a podcast dedicated to inspiring intentional living, personal growth, and transformation. Hosted by design expert and lifestyle guru Sabrina Soto, each episode dives into conversations about wellness, mindset, home, and self-improvement with leading experts and thought leaders. With a mix of practical advice, heartfelt storytelling, and empowering insights, Redesigning Life is your go-to space for creating a life that feels as good as it looks—one thoughtful choice at a time.
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Money Mindset: Breaking Through Your Financial Blocks with Denise Duffield-Thomas
Denise Duffield-Thomas, money mindset mentor and bestselling author of "Get Rich, Lucky Bitch," joins us for a transformative conversation about removing the invisible blocks keeping you from financial abundance.
Money conversations remain taboo for many—especially women—yet addressing our complex relationship with wealth is essential for creating the life we desire. Denise shares how our unconscious language patterns and beliefs about money (like casually telling her daughter "money is dirty") create subtle but powerful barriers to our success. With compassion and humor, she guides us to recognize these patterns through curiosity rather than self-blame.
For those tired of toxic hustle culture but skeptical about passive manifestation, Denise offers the refreshing middle path of "chussel"—chilled hustle—finding your path of least resistance while still taking meaningful action. She debunks the myth of setting a "critic-proof price" that everyone will find reasonable, encouraging us instead to establish energetically aligned pricing that creates a fair exchange.
What sets this conversation apart are the practical, actionable techniques anyone can implement. From creating "sensory anchors" throughout your environment (like scented candles, meaningful jewelry, and strategic screen savers) to personalizing manifestation based on your dominant senses, Denise provides a toolkit for embedding your goals into everyday life without requiring perfect consistency. Her approach acknowledges we're all human—sometimes cleaning bathroom sinks when we should be working—while offering compassionate strategies to maintain focus on what truly matters.
Whether you're an entrepreneur setting prices, a corporate employee seeking a raise, or simply someone wanting a healthier relationship with money, this episode delivers profound insights with immediately applicable techniques. As Denise reminds us, we're working for both our eight-year-old and eighty-year-old selves—and neither would want fear to hold us back from creating the abundant life we deserve.
Connect with Denise:
https://www.denisedt.com
https://www.instagram.com/deniseDT/
Welcome to Redesigning Life. I'm your host, sabrina Soto, and this is the space where we have honest conversations about personal growth, mindset shifts and creating a life that feels truly aligned. In each episode, I'll talk to experts in their fields who share their insights to help you step into your higher self. Let's redesign your life from the inside out. Denise Dunfield-Thomas, I am such a fan of yours. Thank you for being a guest on the show.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to talk to you because I feel like we're going to go into some really interesting directions.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So my I was introduced to you through a friend of mine and, by the way, I told her we were doing a podcast and she gave me a list of her questions which I've never had before. Love, that I wanted to ask you. But my friend Trish is a huge fan of yours and she told me about your book Get Rich, lucky Bitch and it's funny, because of the word bitch I sort of was turned off, but you actually talk about that in the book of why you know that you had that sort of feeling about that word as well. But obviously, if you read the book, it is such an amazing, empowering book for, I think, women with any money blocks, even if you don't have money blocks, I think everyone should read. So I have a million questions to get to, but again, thank you for being on here. I think there's going to be such a great, great episode.
Speaker 1:Yes, so it's this topic that a lot of people don't like to talk about, especially women. I have learned in my years money and I think your book goes into so many different facets of money blocks and abundance and how to magnetize it towards you. One of the best pieces of advice you give that I love is finding money that's sitting there like unpaid invoices and Trish wanted me to tell you stories of. She did this with her husband and they found so much money of claims and unpaid outstanding invoices from people that they worked with and it's those small little changes you talk a lot about in the book that make a big impact in your wallet and bank account. Can you talk to my listeners a little bit more about that and how that whole system works?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely so. I think it's totally normal for people to be skeptical about things like the law of attraction, and I totally get that. I know that when I started learning about things like that, I was very confused about what you actually do. I was like, do I have to just meditate really hard on money or chant under a full moon? And it really felt like a deservingness thing that I just couldn't quite figure out. And so I kind of put my skeptical Virgo brain on that and thought, okay, what if I just pay more attention to money and what I want? And that's when your brain starts to look for answers. It activates your reticular activating system, which is just like how we process information and how we train our brains to pay attention. And so I started to do all this stuff, um, for money, including things like just paying attention, paying more attention to money, being super grateful to money, but really examining my thoughts and feelings about money and noticing how many negative things I would say about money, how many negative thoughts that I would have about money, and even every single time where I thought, oh, maybe you know, I've got it figured out, I like money, I would say something. And I'll give you an example. I was money, I would say something, and I'll give you an example.
Speaker 2:I was at the farmer's market with my daughter and she said I want an apple. I gave her 50 cents. So 50 cents in Australia they're gigantic. And I said you go and you know, buy the apple yourself. And I was like, oh, look at me, like I'm teaching my child to you know, be independent.
Speaker 2:And then, of course, she went to put it in her mouth and guess what I said, sabrina? I said don't put that in your mouth, money is dirty, it's dirty. And I just thought, oh my God, there are so many things like that that we say about money all the time and it takes some unraveling sometimes to work those things out. But all of those things compound over time If we think that money is dirty because we've been told our whole lives yes, money is actually dirty.
Speaker 2:But also it's actually a really bad thing to talk about money. You're not allowed to talk about money. It's rude. Whatever it is, it's rude. It's rude. How are you going to send out an invoice? How are you going to ask for money? How are you going to tell someone your prices? Because every part of you is going. That's a really bad thing to do, and so my job is just to unravel some of those things with curiosity. Not with blame, because I can't believe I even said it to my kid but with curiosity and compassion for ourselves. No wonder it's hard for me to send out an invoice. No wonder it's hard for me sometimes to ask for more money because I feel like I'm going to get into trouble, right, you do also talk about pricing.
Speaker 1:pricing talk about, like, not sending an invoice. You talk about pricing your services and asking for basically what you're worth and I believe, even if you're not an entrepreneur, even if you work for a corporation, asking for a raise, especially as a woman, it's this like just do you know, be happy you have a job mindset, be happy in this economy that you're working, just be, you know, grateful that you even have any income coming in. How do you, when it's true you should be grateful that you do have that, how do you get out of the mindset of just being a good girl and shutting it up to pricing your service to what you truly believe it's worth?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. By the way, if anyone's listening and you are in a corporate job, there is a great book by Lois P Frankel and it's called Nice Girls, don't Get the Corner Office, and she also has one called Nice Girls, don't Get Rich, and the tagline is something like I think it's like 75 or 101 mistakes that women unconsciously make that sabotage their career and income, and that's exactly like. What she's talking about is this nice girl syndrome that we have and, by the way, I worked in corporate jobs all throughout my 20s. I don't think I ever really asked for a pay increase or negotiated my salary because I didn't realize how much this nice girl thing lived inside me. And I think what we're trying to do when we're an entrepreneur is that we are trying to find a critic proof price. We are trying to find the price that every single person thinks is reasonable, is fair, and we cannot do that. We cannot do that. There's always going to be someone who thinks you are too expensive, even if you were charging a dollar.
Speaker 1:Okay, so talk to me about that, because this is something Trish and I talked about last night to ask you. She says that sometimes she sees people having retreats or something and she gets turned off when they're asking for way too much money, like what, what are you getting in return? So is that a block that she has, or is there a sweet spot of asking for too much? Like how, how is that?
Speaker 2:Well, that's the thing we are trying to please everybody all the time, for everything, and it's totally fine that your friend Trish thinks that some things are too expensive. That's not necessarily a block in itself. There'll always be. I mean, I have I've made a lot of money. There are still some things that I will go. I will never pay for that, and there'll be some things that I think are completely reasonable, and this is why this idea of a critic proof price is so crucial. I'm sure you've done this as well. There are things that I wouldn't have spent money on until I needed that thing.
Speaker 1:Right Anything related to your health.
Speaker 2:Anything like that. But also I remember one time I paid for copywriting because I was procrastinating it big time and I sent out a quote and the price that came back was way more than I wanted to pay, but I needed it. I needed it in a short period of time, and so it's really hard, when we are setting a price, to send out feedback, basically to get feedback from people. We're trying to crowdsource our pricing and the problem is, who are we sending it out to? First of all, sometimes it's friends and family who, my God, they're not our customers. They have no idea what people would spend on our products and services. Two, sometimes it's people who don't need it. Three, it's people who maybe don't need it now or it's not urgent for them. And when it comes to things like spending money on personal development, there's been times in my life where I really desperately needed a coach and not desperate, but it was just something that I knew would be a really important game changer for me and so then that's where I'm going to spend my money that year, maybe on a coach or a retreat or something like that. There are other years where that's not as important to me, so who's got the money block there? There isn't one, it's just sometimes there's a mismatch of pricing, but if you are crowdsourcing and you're saying, well, would you guys pay for this? You are going to get so many different answers and you think, for most of the things that we're trying to sell, we don't need thousands and thousands of people to buy from us. There will be a match and there will be a mismatch in pricing. On that, though, which I think is really important.
Speaker 2:I don't know what Trisha's money personality is. She might be an accumulator, right, an accumulator is a very particular money personality. They need a lot of information. They need to justify their purchases. They write pros and cons lists. They need a lot of information. So when I'm selling something to an accumulator, they're the ones who are reading the sales page, and it needs to be tick boxes, benefit driven, no fluff, and they will be the people who join your course or program or retreat, and they are mentally ticking things off going. Did they give me this? Did they give me this? A different personality type, like an alchemist? How?
Speaker 1:many are there? How many?
Speaker 2:personality types. There's eight, there's eight. Okay, go ahead. An alchemist, for example, would be someone who just gets caught up in the creativity of it. They don't care about the details. So there's no right or wrong, it's just who are you marketing to? And here's the crucial thing. It has to be win-win. And if you're not feeling in alignment with your prices, it's really hard to say them and to justify them. And I feel like sometimes we do unwittingly turn off clients because we're just, we're not quite, oh, we don't feel good about the price, you know.
Speaker 1:Right. So how do you then overcome that self-doubt, if you are in that predicament?
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, every time that I've had to set a price, I've really had to sit with it energetically in my body and I know, when I've undercharged, what that's felt like. I'm sure you have as well, sabrina. You get off the phone with a client, you finish a project and there's just something that's gnawing at you. And I remember I spoke at a friend's event. I did it for free and I gave it all. You know I was there for hours and helping people and I got in the cab afterwards and I felt so depleted and it wasn't the work, it wasn't, you know, anything like that it was. I was literally like there was no energy exchange here. There was no fair energy exchange.
Speaker 1:Wow. And so because of the crowd that was there or because of your friend? No, because.
Speaker 2:I didn't get paid for it. And so I felt like I sat there and I gave, gave, gave, gave, gave, but I didn't. There was no energy exchange Right, and so I really felt the deficit of that and I felt it in my body because it's got to come from somewhere. So I was like, oh, there's no, it's not fair. And so then after that I started charging even if they were my friend I would charge and I would feel like, oh, it's a fair exchange. And I think I just got it so physically in my body, it was so visceral that I thought like it's just, it doesn't work to undercharge.
Speaker 1:Right, because then it becomes resentment, not only for the person, but for yourself.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I felt that in my body. So I think you have to pay attention to those signals. If you are feeling resentful of your clients, that is a big sign that you are undercharging or you're over delivering for what you're offering. So sometimes when I work with someone like I wouldn't even say for most people increase your prices straight away because energetically they're just maybe not ready. So one of the first things you might do is to clean up some of the leaks. So maybe instead of an hour with your sessions, you're spending two hours.
Speaker 2:Maybe you've got a lot of leaks where you're I don't know letting people have really bad boundaries with you. All of those things are money leaks, really, because you could chuck in more clients at the top. It's just going to cause you more stress, right? So you clean up those things. You clean up any relationships where you are giving unnecessary discounts or people are taking advantage of you or you have bad systems. So you're not sending out invoices or you're not sending out reminders Things like if you were a service-based business. Maybe you're not charging cancellation fees.
Speaker 2:You know things like that. You've got to clean up before you even think about increasing your prices, because otherwise it's not really solving the root problem, which is this internal feeling of I don't deserve this.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the deserving. That also is, I think, the foundation of upping your money mindset game, you know, and I also believe that in this culture there's like this mentality that you have to hustle, hustle, hustle. So what is your take on that hustle culture versus just letting the universe flow in, because it's like when you want to change, I feel like a lot of people listening probably think that they have to pound the pavement.
Speaker 2:Well, I think there's a middle line right, because I sometimes hear from people where they're like, well, I don't need to market my business, I'm just going to manifest clients, and I'm like great, but marketing is manifesting clients, you know, that's how you manifest clients. And so I like to find a middle ground, because hustling for the sake of hustling doesn't always work either. Doing nothing doesn't work. So the middle ground is what I call chussel Wait, wait, what's?
Speaker 1:it called Chussel Chussel. Tell me, what chussel is.
Speaker 2:So chussel is chilled hustle and that is finding I love that, denise. Yeah, I haven't said that word for such a long time I forgot it was even in my book. Yeah, I haven't said that word for such a long time, I forgot it was even in my book. It's finding that path of least resistance for you. So a great example of that, too, is that you could be working really, really hard, but your, your products are really hard to find on your website. Um, you're making it really hard for people to give you money because you're not using online payment systems, or you're not taking paypal, or you're putting all of these barriers in place and, um, you know, maybe you're trying to do everything yourself in your business instead of outsourcing. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:I've done that myself too Right.
Speaker 2:And it's like you know you can work really hard, but do you have to do all the things? And I've got nothing against working hard. There's been times in my business where I had a big goal and I just had to, you know, put it all in. But it's finding the right things to do, it's finding that path of least resistance for your personality, it's making sure that the pricing is right, it's making sure that you are not spinning your wheels and doing busy work, and sometimes that means not doing all the things, not offering all the things you know and like kind of streamlining a little bit to what's going to make the biggest difference, uh, especially for your personality you know we all work in a very different way and and letting go of some of those blocks that could be unwittingly sabotaging you.
Speaker 1:Yes, I don't. I mean I. I in the beginning said that a lot of times women aren't allowed to talk about money, but I actually think you're right. It's like it's not just women. It's rude to talk about money at all times in any situation, which I had to pick and choose the people in my life to talk about it, because it's this like topic that nobody wants to talk about. But when I do finally discuss it with people, they help me with either investments or ideas, and I just want to kind of take the taboo out of this subject because I do think it's important. And it's not about the money, it's not about having the Chanel purse. To me, it's about creating a life where you can have adventures, have the things around you that make you happy, whether it be, you know, a pillow or the Ritz Carlton. You know it all depends because everyone's different. So how do you invest in yourself? Like you've been doing this a long time? What's, what do you think, the best investment you have made in your career for yourself?
Speaker 2:Oh, really great question. And you know it's been different at different parts of my journey. So one of the best investments I made when my kids were small was a lot of home help, a lot of home help. I had a full-time housekeeper and a full-time nanny and I think there's sometimes a misconception around things like that where it's like, oh well, then you've got someone else to raise your kids. No, it was having a village. It was having a village of, and they were all women, women in my house to help us flow between work and family.
Speaker 2:And I remember when my first kid was really small and I was nursing her so my nanny, would you know, I'd nurse the baby, my nanny would make me breakfast and my housekeeper sorry would make me breakfast. I'd go okay, I've got to go and do a Zoom call now, and so I'd go and. But we would just kind of all did it and flow together because that's how we're supposed to do those things right, we don't have that village anymore. So that was a big investment, but it was actually the best investment I could have made in my business, because I actually liked doing most things in the business myself and even now I have quite a small team, but I couldn't have done that if I had just invested only in my team. But then home was a nightmare, and so for a couple of years I didn't wash a dish, cook a meal, do any laundry, anything, um, because that's that's the, that's the investment I needed in my life and, I think, for anyone listening, even if you can't afford to have that help it.
Speaker 1:it could be as simple as asking for your neighbors to help out or a friend to help out. It doesn't necessarily have to be hired help. It could be investing in asking, you know, getting, accepting the assistance, which could be something that you have a difficult time with. At least, I'm talking to myself now.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. You know what Hiring a cleaner once, once a month might be something that takes it off your mind. Or, you know, hiring someone like a neighborhood kid to watch your kids for an hour while you work on your business. It can be done, but I think that sometimes we think there's only one way to invest in ourselves and in our businesses, and I actually think a lot of time. Especially for women, it's really practical help, and I know that at that time in my business I was like I can do my social media, I can do my IT, I can do all of these things, but if I'm also then having to do the laundry, it's actually going to be really difficult for me, and so, even if you can't afford it, I actually think the discipline of ignoring the laundry for a while is is going to pay you more, you know.
Speaker 1:I have to. I haven't. I have to admit something. Yeah, so I'm. You are on the podcast.
Speaker 1:I've been looking forward to the recording, this and I also have three other recordings today, and about 15 minutes before we started recording, I was upstairs because I record here in my house. So, in juggling the podcast recording, I have a show now that's coming out. You know what I was doing right before we were chatting I was taking a toothbrush to my bathroom sink with bleach to clean. That's what I was doing, denise, and as I'm doing it, I actually let out a grunt because I'm like why am I doing this now, when I'm about to record with somebody, like a huge somebody that I look up to and an author that I just am such a fan of? Why am I cleaning the bathroom sink right now? And I think you're right. It's like some person I don't know what personality I am, but it's like you can't do it all, and if you have to do it all, maybe it's the discipline of letting things go, letting things just go for a little bit.
Speaker 1:That is actually. This is just advice for me. You just gave me advice. I don't know if anybody else listening is the same way, but I'm glad Cause.
Speaker 2:I know, when I first started my business and I wasn't making a lot of money, my husband would come home and he'd go why didn't you just put some laundry on? And I was like, well, I was at, I was at work and you know? No, you know no. Or you would say, oh, can you go to the post office for me, because you know you're at home? And I was going. No, you know, this is really important and this is going to be something that is going to, you know, feed our family. And I had to kind of paint that picture.
Speaker 2:But I had to have the discipline too of going no, no, no, do your work, because that's more important. And you know, for anyone out there who wants to write a book or launch a program or you know, do something like that, it's totally okay for your house to be a mess while you're doing that, or you do that. You do your work first, you know you put your stuff first and then you go okay, I'll do this stuff. Because, yeah, you know we live in a real world, you still have to do stuff. And, um, you know, if you've got kids and pets, they need attention too. But your dreams are also important and they deserve to take up space. And it's very easy to procrastinate, especially when you don't have a boss looking over your shoulder. But you're the one that has to keep your dream top of mind and do the things to get those clients to get that money, because no one's sitting around waiting for you. You have to go.
Speaker 1:Why not me. I think a lot of people listening after COVID, even people who have corporate jobs, now work from home because now it's flexible, it's work. You know go into the office a few times, but now I feel like there's more pressure on you to manage the household while you're working. So having boundaries about what you said to your husband like no, it's almost like you have to pretend you're not even at your home when you're working office hours. Absolutely Back into being, you know, a homemaker. So now you're a full-time homemaker and a full-time employee.
Speaker 2:It's a nightmare. Um, you know, yesterday, um, I had, you know, a salesperson knocking on the door, you know, to sell solar, and I'm just like I've got a zoom call. I know I'm like I've got a zoom call in two minutes. I'm like bye and there are a lot of distractions. But you know what I've really realized now that you know I have created this really big business. It's so much less time than you think. It's just that 80% of the time we're procrastinating just doing the thing Like cleaning the bathroom sink.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've done that myself a million times and it's like it really hasn't taken as much time to build my business as I thought. It's just it's literally doing the right things, though, you know, and this and the things that scare us sometimes, and I think that's why, when we can remind ourselves what we're playing for you know, having dream boards, remind ourselves what we're playing for, you know, having dream boards, having a big goal that we're working towards that is emotional and exciting, that's the stuff that's going to help us overcome the fear and other things you know, like being in community with other entrepreneurs, normalizing both the work and the success, normalizing the fear that comes with all of those things too. Normalizing the sometimes uncomfortable rites of passage that come with having a business, like having people reject us and say we're too expensive, or you know all of the things that come with running a business. If you are alone in those situations, you start to internalize that or maybe there's something wrong with me and it's like no, it's just. Sometimes things happen in business and that's okay too.
Speaker 1:So you yeah, you mentioned community with other entrepreneurs. For someone listening who wants a community and especially I feel like in my forties now it's even more difficult to find friends how do you, what advice do you give to clients in order to create that community or to find those, to find your people?
Speaker 2:Okay. So sometimes we think it's this mystery and also I think sometimes people's um childhood traumas come into place around this right Of going. You know I'm not in the cool group or how do I find you know people? And I always say to people everything is a viable experience. So if there's someone you want to work with or if there's a community you want to be involved in, you can buy into people's communities. So I'll start there and then go to free stuff. So, um, it's, if there's someone that you admire and they have a program or a course or a community or events or conferences or retreats, you can pay to get into those communities.
Speaker 2:And in my early days that's how I made a lot of friends. I went to conferences, I went to retreats. You know, whatever I could afford at the time, and here's my tip too I went to retreats. You know, whatever I could afford at the time. And here's my tip too I always, always ask the first question of the conference, because I am a massive introvert and I get really nervous about things like speaking on camera even sorry, on microphone, even still. So I force myself to ask the first question, you know. And they're like has anyone got a question, I put my hand straight up, I run to the microphone and I go hi, my name is Denise Duffield Thomas, author of Get Rich, lucky Bitch or whatever it is, and then I ask my question and then I can sit down and I can go oh, thank God. And then people come up to me oh hi, I heard your question and that's always been my best tip to meet people, because otherwise I just freak out about it.
Speaker 2:But what I've also been really good at for the last couple of years in making friends is I join communities. You know there might be free Facebook groups for your industry or whatever it is, and I show up and I'd be really helpful. I'm not salesy I've never been but I've always just been that person who's encouraging to others. Or if I've got an answer, I'll answer that question. And online friends are real friends yes, they really are. And then you know, make friends with those people, not to sell to them, but to create that community, collaborate, collaborate, exactly. If you've got a podcast, invite people on that. You want to get to know. You can be a hub, you can create free Facebook groups, you can create networking or meetup groups. But I think what the thing is that I hear people say sometimes is there's a cool group and I'm not invited, and that is totally childhood school trauma which I totally get. But there is no.
Speaker 1:There is no cool kids club, you know it's just I don't know anyone that was that doesn't have that high school like fear of I'm not in the. Even the cool people I know from high school probably thought the same thing.
Speaker 2:For sure, for sure. But you know, that's the thing. A lot of people meet at conferences, events, retreats, things like that. So if you can get to those places, you'll realize that they're just normal people. And that's what I love. When I get together with other entrepreneurs where we have very similar experiences, you realize that you're not alone in your fears and you also realize that no matter how much money someone makes, they're still just a normal person. And it's really hard to do that if you just you know, by yourself all the time. I mean, I live on the East coast of Australia. I would say most of my entrepreneurial friends are in America. You know they're, they're all over the world and I feel like I see them all the time. But of course I don't, you know, cause I'm I never, I never go anywhere cause I'm an introvert, but I'm like, I feel like I've got a beautiful community around me and that's because I've deliberately created that.
Speaker 1:So, as an author of one of the biggest authors when it comes to money mindset, who are your mentors?
Speaker 2:Oh, great question. So some of my really early mentors are people that I still really look up to today. So one of them is Kendall Summerhawk. She is a money coach. I'm certified in her money archetype system. I love her.
Speaker 2:Fabienne Fredrickson is one of my early mentors and it's, you know, funny. I bought one of her programs like maybe 10 years ago, and she's based in, or she was based in, connecticut for a long time and she moved her family to France and I happened to be in Europe when she was hosting a retreat and so I went on the retreat and she was like, oh, denise, I haven't seen you in 10 years. You know what have you been up to? And I was thinking but we talk all the time, because I still feel her mentorship all the time and I still quote things that she says and I listen to her podcast and I was like, what do you mean? We've never stopped talking. It was really funny.
Speaker 2:And then I'm also in some group chats with some other entrepreneurs and again they're just from people that we've met at conferences or different things and we really we support each other and that's that's one of the most important things for me is just having that. I don't know just that casual support as well as mentorship, and there's been a few very successful people that I've met at conferences who I would say we've got a casual mentorship relationship where they'll text me sometimes, I'll text them sometimes, and I think that's important too, to always have people who are really far ahead of you to normalize what's coming. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:One of your biggest fans, susie Ashworth, was also a guest on my podcast too.
Speaker 2:I love her.
Speaker 1:So much. So what are you? She's fantastic. What? What are your daily practices to get yourself square and right when it comes to creating the life that you dream of?
Speaker 2:Is it?
Speaker 1:a vision board, or what do you do?
Speaker 2:It's all the things, okay, but I want to say this it's all the things, because everything works in its own little way, but you do not have to be perfect with any of those, because I think sometimes we mix up these things in our head and we feel like that it's a deservingness thing, so we have to be perfect in it. Like, for example, I remember people saying, oh, you have to write down your goals every day, and I thought, well, I have ADHD. I never remember to do that, so therefore I'm not worthy of having that thing because I'm disorganized or whatever. So what I try and do is to create a lot of different things in my life to crowd out the negative thoughts that will come up inevitably.
Speaker 2:Things like my screensaver on my phone is one of my goals at the moment, which I'm selling a property, so it is I'll have sold, and I'll have that on my computer screensaver as well. There's been times where I've had a really big goal and I've put it on my TV. You can have your TV be a screensaver too. I've put it on my TV when I get in my car. The podcast that comes on is a positive podcast, and so I'm trying to infuse as many things into my daily life as possible that do not require me remembering to do it and being deserving of doing it.
Speaker 1:I love that because I think everyone hears like you got it, you got a journal. Every morning, you have to do a gratitude list, you have to meditate, you have to do a vision board. You have to, you have to, you have to do a vision board. You have to, you have to, you have to. And, yes, those are all fantastic tools, but if you do, if you don't get to it every day, that doesn't mean you're a loser and that doesn't mean that you don't like um, you're not worthy of the things, the dreams that you want and you can do so many of these little things, so a lot of things in my life have have meaning.
Speaker 2:So I mean, I'm wearing a bee necklace, um, and for me that's like I'm a lucky bee, you know. That reminds me I'm a lucky bee Often, um, the clothing that I wear, or the perfume, or I've even got, um, my skincare has bees on it too, and so it's just these little visual reminders, but not just visual. I like to go through my senses. So I, you know that Lady Million perfume, no, I love, oh, it's called Lady Million, but anyway there's, and they've got five different scents, and one's like Lucky one's, fabulous one's Empire, and I mean it's not, it's like drugstore perfume, but it's a little anchor that I don't have to think about.
Speaker 2:That sometimes I use, sometimes I don't, and I have a million of those throughout my life that you probably wouldn't, someone else wouldn't even necessarily notice those things, and I probably wouldn't notice them all every day either. But they're subconscious, you know, and it only takes a little, like sometimes it's looking for the bad things and getting rid of them first, like, oh, there's this squeaky wheel that really annoys me. What can I replace that with? And I call that. You know upgrading. So it's like what can I upgrade to close down all those tabs in my brain and create more bandwidth? But then what can I replace that with?
Speaker 2:And again, there'll be times in my life where I'm manifesting something really big and important to me, and so I'll very, very deliberately go and put pictures on the inside of my cabinets. I will write on my mirror in whiteboard marker, I will spray things around the house that smell like that goal. I will light candles that smell like that goal. So when I was manifesting building a beach house, I had a candle that smelled like the beach. In this blue glass I will change up what my key ring is on my car keys and I will put in a million of these different things, because some of them will get in and some of them won't. But it will just give me that teeny, tiny, extra little bit of motivation to do the thing that I need to do.
Speaker 1:And then it's a big upgrade If you're listening and you feel like you're in a rut. It's not about overhauling your entire daily routine, it's the small little shifts, like the beach candle. Or if you want to move to Florida, get a key ring that says Florida on it. Those small little details add up and you're right, the subconscious records it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Listen to songs about Florida and all of this. Then you start to it just feels like it's inevitable, it feels like you've already achieved it, it feels like you're in the process and it's like, well, is that magic? No, but it's like starts to feel like it is right, because then those coincidences start to come in, you see signs, because your eyes are open for it, right. And then each one of those things you go, oh well, it's a sign, I'm meant to do it, which gives you that extra teeny, tiny bit of confidence to take action. And then it does become this self-fulfilling prophecy. And I mean, I look at some of the things in my life here and I think, oh, I remember what that was related to. I remember this was related to a particular goal. You know just so many things are layered in to my daily life.
Speaker 1:now. It's like a book called when you Bury it a time. Why is it Like a time capsule? Time capsule, yeah, it's like a time capsule that you're surrounded with Speaking of subconscious? How do you feel about subliminals?
Speaker 2:I love subliminals. So, yes, so actually I first started using this when I was a teenager. I first started using this when I was a teenager because I used to love going into those like crystal stores and you know, alternative stores. And I remember seeing this cassette tape and it was a subliminal learning tape because I had ADHD undiagnosed ADHD in high school, so I was always just thinking what's wrong with me, why can't I study? And it was a study tape to classical Baroque music and um, and it went for 45 minutes and it, when I played it, I sat there and I studied for 45 minutes and I felt like a miracle. So this was for me, it was maybe 1996. It felt like such a miracle and so I mean, you know, in a cassette player. So then I, um, I sought out more of those things and as it become, you know, became more available online, and then I create subliminals for other people too, and I created this one, um, and it was like uh, 1111 money affirmations and it was, and it was so badly I made it myself on garage band or whatever and it was like beach sounds, because I was like, again, wanted to manifest that beach house, right, so it was beach sounds.
Speaker 2:But I kind send me messages and say I don't know what is on that tape. But all of these things started happening in my life and so I was like, okay, obviously there's something to this. And I I remember even someone said my cat has been bringing home mice every day since listening to this audio. It worked on the cat. It worked on the cat.
Speaker 2:But people would say, oh my God, I feel like it's worked on my husband because suddenly he's changing his mindset and I go does that work? Or is it because your intention and you are more open to things now and you are seeing things differently too? So again, I put that in the bucket of. Everything works in its own way and it all contributes. So I actually created a ton of subliminals for the Hay House app as well, in lots of different categories, from pricing to being a millionaire or whatever. And I just say to people I mean, don't play them when you're driving your car, but why not play them at night? One little message might get in, but even if it doesn't for me, I think I don't care. If that subliminal worked for me as a kid it was just like oh, now I'm studying, I created that moment of now I'm studying.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, you know, I created that moment of now. I'm studying, and so I feel like all of these anchors are just extra proof of like, no, I am a person who succeeds. I am a person who sends those invoices out, and you know I can't even begin to explain how some of those things work, but I feel like everything works. So don't get into a thing of should I do this, should I do that? Just try it all, but layer it in, because I'm not spending every day frantically running around going, oh my God, am I doing this? They're all already there, so you can see in my background.
Speaker 2:So there's a typewriter. That was one of my earliest anchors when I was writing my book of just having a typewriter around. There's my combi van, which was something I used in one of my early branding shoots, and then I wanted to buy one, and then I did buy it. And then the pain the brakes always fail. So I was like I'll just have the Lego one, that's so much easier. And so there are a lot of things. Even just the color blue for me is an anchor. So some of these things you only have to set up once, and this is where it becomes. You can be a little bit laid back in it, because you're not frantically trying to fill the void or trying to convince yourself you're something you're not. You layer them in until it becomes your new normal and this is just who I am, and um, and then that way, then you have that muscle memory. You don't slide back to, you know, having this horrible mindset, all of those things just become the foundation of of who you are.
Speaker 1:Yes, I, before I bought my house, I was in um a rental and I really wanted to buy this expensive candle. And I said, okay, when I get the house I'll buy the candle, so that I could burn the house in the candle or burn the candle in the house. And I was like, why am I waiting to have a house just to burn a damn candle? And it was the burning of the candle that created this. I could have that sort of feeling of having that beautiful smell in the house now and you don't have to wait until your dream is fulfilled in order to take the little steps. It's about that feeling. It's surrounding yourself with a feeling, even if it's a Lego car or a typewriter that just visually reminds you.
Speaker 2:And a candle is much cheaper than a house. So start there. But I like the way you said that, because actually smell is a very powerful manifesting tool for me as well, and so you know that thing. You know when you see it you can believe it. For me it's if I can smell it I can believe it. And I think everyone's got to look for their dominant sense, because sometimes it's like if I hear it a million times, I'll believe it. If I see it. So then you have to have the visual dream boards and things like that. If I feel it, I'll believe it. So it could be that you know you have a money jacket and it's like I put this on and this is my money jacket and I'm going to send out my invoices. Or I have a you know, a watch or a ring that I play with, or something on my key ring. Because if I feel it, then I believe it, If I smell it, I'll believe it.
Speaker 1:That's the key, I think, is to do all of them, but really nail in on those ones. Personalize it for yourself. I read once, and I don't know if it's true, but if you are trying to figure out what senses are most important to you personally, is what do you normally say? If you're talking to somebody and you say, oh, I see what you're saying, that could mean that you're more of a visual person. So pay attention to the words that you use constantly and you might get tipped off of what senses are more important to you.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love that Cause. It's like, oh, I hear you, I hear, oh, I feel you, I feel you. I don't think anyone's saying, oh, I smell that. Yeah, I'm saying, oh, I smell that, yeah, I smell what you're putting down. But, yeah, I think that's important and this is why, too, it has to be personalized to us, and I struggled a little bit in the early days when I was just kind of following mentors and thinking, well, that doesn't like, that's not right for me. You know, that doesn't resonate, which is I'm a feeling person, right and, and so it's okay to do it in a way that feels good to you and to find your path. The only thing is make sure you're just not procrastinating and you're actually moving forward and you're taking meaningful action. You know that meaningful chussel, so you can like why not? You Like? It really doesn't take that much work, but it is work in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Just start taking the step. I saw a meme the other day that says I'm working now for two people my 80 year old self and my eight year old self and I thought that was so powerful, because I there are things that I procrastinate and I know that my 80 year old self would come over and slap me upside the head and be like why didn't you do it? So it's like no, even if I fail, like my show now is called the Sabrina Soto show. It's we just released the trailer yesterday. It's going to be on Hulu and Amazon in the design network next month and I know congratulations, that is very cool.
Speaker 1:I was so afraid of having a show with my name on it, because what if it fails? But it's like you know what. Sometimes you have to take those risks. And even if it didn't fail, I think I would be more upset if I didn't do it than if I did it and failed.
Speaker 2:Well, what you just said was very powerful about the eight-year-old and the 80-year-old self, because I always think of my grandmother telling me this, but I actually think my 80-year-old version would say this Imagine saying to them well, I would have done it, but what if someone was mean to me on the internet, like you? Would just go what? Who cares? Who cares about that? And all of us. We live in this time. It's a very volatile, crazy time in lots of ways, but we also have the tools that our grandmothers did not have to be able to create financial independence for ourselves, to be able to express our creativity, to be able to meet and have friends and clients all around this planet. And yes, it's scary. No one's saying it's not scary. Oh my God, I'm sure you have fears all the time. I have. It's scary. No one's saying it's not scary. Oh my God, I'm sure you know you have fears all the time. I have fears all the time. No one's saying it's not. But if everyone's feeling the fear, why don't we all just go okay? Well, let's just, let's just do it anyway, because why not? Us and you'll? You'll find that when you do that, uh, people believe you. It's so weird.
Speaker 2:I remember thinking I'm not an author but I'm going to start telling people I'm an author. And this is another anchor I did. I put Denise Duffield Thomas, author, on my email signature and every time I saw that, first of all I'd go, but it was a little like it was another little layer Right, and then I realized that other people believed me and they'd go, oh, when's your book coming out? And I'd go, oh, I guess I have to do it. And I have literally I've got four books with Hay House. I started self-publishing. I still go.
Speaker 2:Am I really an author? But people believe that I am. You've said that I am, so maybe I am. You are, yeah, well, I guess I am. But that's the thing. People believe you and then once they reflect that back to you, then you believe it a little bit more and then you take the action to do the thing. And that's all life really is. Everyone's just making it up and we're all just trying to do our best and that's all we can do, you know. So spray your perfume on, light your candle, do the thing.
Speaker 1:It's done. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your time, for you being a guest, for your insight, for your knowledge. I love you so much. I am your biggest fan. So is my best friend, trish, so thank you so very much for being a guest.
Speaker 2:Oh, I cannot wait to see your show. Please let me know when that comes out. Tell me more about that, just give me the one minute thing.
Speaker 1:It's been 10 years I've been pitching this show, so I was on.
Speaker 1:HBTV for 15 years and I wanted to create a talk show that merged everything I'm passionate about home, food, wellness, spirituality and I pitched it for 10 years and every network said no until finally it came true, and I can tell you that had I done this five years ago, it wouldn't have been this show, it would have been something different, and now it's. It really is the most perfect iteration of the show that I ever had before, and I think that's a lesson in patience and knowing that the universe has a bigger plan, and sometimes you just have to trust.
Speaker 2:You keep your vision there but you trust that the time will come. It will come when it's right. That is so, so true, and then it's going to be so sweet. It's going to be so sweet for you. Enjoy every bit of it.
Speaker 1:Take all those behind the scenes things and soak it in, because obviously you've worked for it and you deserve it. Thank you, denise. And for anyone listening, I will have all of Denise's information in the show notes. So please follow her on Instagram, all social media, and you have to buy her book Get Rich, lucky Bitch. Trust me, you'll thank me later.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you, Sabrina, I appreciate it. Bye.