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Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto is a podcast dedicated to inspiring intentional living, personal growth, and transformation. Hosted by design expert and lifestyle guru Sabrina Soto, each episode dives into conversations about wellness, mindset, home, and self-improvement with leading experts and thought leaders. With a mix of practical advice, heartfelt storytelling, and empowering insights, Redesigning Life is your go-to space for creating a life that feels as good as it looks—one thoughtful choice at a time.
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
SPECIAL EDITION: Design Wisdom from Bobby Berk
In this unedited, behind-the-scenes conversation, Queer Eye design expert Bobby Berk joins Sabrina to explore the transformative power of design, drawing on their two-decade friendship as the backdrop for candid revelations. Bobby shares how saying "yes" to designing show homes without formal training launched his career trajectory, discussing the art of genuine skill development behind "faking it till you make it" while acknowledging the imposter syndrome they both experience despite their success.
Bobby's insights from his book "Right at Home" illuminate how thoughtfully designed spaces profoundly impact mental wellbeing, explaining that organization creates mental clarity while disorganized environments trigger cascading negative effects throughout your day. From practical solutions like decorative trays to encouraging authentic personal aesthetics over trends, this rare conversation captures how our physical environments shape our potential for success and happiness—revealing why good design matters far beyond appearances.
To watch the segment with Bobby Berk and Sabrina, The Sabrina Soto Show:
https://www.sabrinasoto.com/the-sabrina-soto-show/
Connect with Sabrina on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sabrina_soto
Connect with Bobby Berk here:
https://bobbyberk.com/
Bobby Berk on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/bobby/
Welcome to a special edition of Redesigning Life. Many of you know I have a new show called the Sabrina Soto Show Out and I was able to invite amazing experts in their fields just to come in and have great conversation. But because it's a show, we have to edit it down. Now, these conversations, they were so good that I wanted to publish the raw, unedited version, and that's what this episode is. You're going to hear action and you may hear a crew in the background, but I wanted to publish this so you can really listen to the entire chat.
Speaker 2:So here, you go Ready.
Speaker 1:Okay, and action. Bobby Sabrina, I would say like welcome to my home, but you've been here before. Come here. Yeah, are you at Auntie Sabrina's house? Yeah, Bobby, how long have we been friends? Since A long time.
Speaker 2:Almost two decades.
Speaker 1:Yeah, almost two decades.
Speaker 2:Yeah, almost two decades.
Speaker 1:I cannot tell you, I really can't tell you, how proud I am of you, what you've accomplished, how far you've come. But what I love about you and you were on my podcast is you're such a hustler. I think people don't know like you have had so many different careers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you were in the hotel, like toiletry business, yeah, hotel toiletries, I mean retail restaurants, you know I just I always say people are like how did you get into?
Speaker 1:design I'm like.
Speaker 2:I kind of just fell into it. You know it was I was working retail, I was retail management and I was working retail, I was retail management and I was lucky enough to get some retail management jobs in home decor stores and I really loved it and it was the first time I was really enjoying working retail. And so, long story short, from retailer to retailer, I ended up then starting my own, First online and then brick and mortar stores.
Speaker 1:I remember Bobby actually hosted my book launch party.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your book launch party Back in 2011. My launch party yeah, your book launch party Back in 2011.
Speaker 1:My Atlanta store. Yeah, in Atlanta and New York too. No, just Atlanta. But, I went to your New York store all the time.
Speaker 2:I feel like that was the very first time we met was in my store for an event. Years and years and years.
Speaker 1:So, like looking back at your career, it's wild. I'm going to tell you another story. I've never talked to you about this. So I went to Las Vegas for like a furniture convention or whatever. It's like a convention for all the designers, and you had an appearance and I've had appearances before. So I'm like, oh, I'm just going to go and say hi. First of all, there were hundreds of people in line to meet you, but I would. I was like, oh, I'll just go see, because 20 people show up for me.
Speaker 1:So I'm like I'll just wait till the line goes, and I was like this I can't believe it.
Speaker 2:It's so awesome. Was that in Vegas or in High Point?
Speaker 1:No, it was in Vegas Vegas.
Speaker 2:God, that was like years ago.
Speaker 1:Years ago. But I'm just so proud of you. So, looking back in your life, what do you think you've taken from how? How many times you've sort of had to reinvent yourself?
Speaker 2:I mean quite a few, quite a few. You know. First it was, you know, working restaurants and retail, and then you know, taking it till I make it, you know, taking those taking those artistic liberties on my my resume yeah you know people would always be like, oh, you need to stay at the same job and work your way up.
Speaker 2:I'm like, no, no, you need to get that job, you need to get that next title. And you know I would embellish, take those artistic liberties a little bit. I'd get the next bigger job, but I would always never take off. I would never bite off something that I couldn't chew, even though it was a job that I hadn't done before, even though it was something that I didn't know how to do. I would teach myself. You know, the moral of the story is never say no. Well, no, learn to say no, but never say no when it's an opportunity, just like literally. The very first house I ever designed was for the International Builder Show. Builder Magazine called me to design the show homes for the International Builder Show and I was a retailer. I had furniture stores all over the US, but I wasn't an interior designer. I would help my customers pick out stuff for their homes. I would go to their homes sometimes and help them lay everything out, but I wasn't doing construction documents. I wasn't doing electrical plants.
Speaker 1:I wasn't building houses.
Speaker 2:So they called me and they're like you know, we want you, from top to bottom, everything to design these homes. And I was like yes, even though I was like I have no idea. No idea, I still don't know how to use CAD. I have a lot of talented people on my team that do and so you know, I was just like yes, I'll do it. And I got on Google, I got on YouTube. I, you know, I manipulated the floor plans and stuff in Photoshop because I didn't know how to use CAD and I taught myself how to do it. I made it work.
Speaker 2:And if I had said no to that opportunity because I didn't do it, yeah, I wouldn't be here right now, I wouldn't have started a design firm, because after that I was like, oh, this is a lot of fun, I'm going to start a design firm now. And so that's when I started my design firm and I wouldn't have been on Queer Eye, none of that. Literally, at that moment I had said no. My life. That one yes completely. I never really thought about that. That one yes completely changed the trajectory of my life. And if I had said no, because I was scared of not knowing how to do it.
Speaker 2:I would have done it.
Speaker 1:I've never told this story, but when I got hired for my first job on HGTV, I had no idea what I was doing. And I get on set and they had the camera crew and they were like okay, go ahead and start painting this room. We'll get a time lapse, which means they're just going to speed it up. You know, for the show I'd never painted a room before.
Speaker 2:So I'm like no, no, I'm a designer, I'm not a painter.
Speaker 1:First of all, I wasn't really a designer either. Talk about fake it till you make it. So I'm like painting. But you know what I did every night? Because I didn't know anyone, I they shot where, like in DC and I lived in LA at the time I would get off work and every night I would read books about designing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause there was no YouTube back then.
Speaker 1:No, there was no YouTube. I think that we need to talk about the faking it till you make it, because I think a lot of people watching want to change careers, want to reinvent themselves, but they say no because they're like well, I don't know how to do it yet, but take the opportunity and then learn while you're taking the opportunity.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know a lot of people are like, oh well, faking it till you make it, you're a fraud.
Speaker 1:Not necessarily, but didn't you feel like an imposter? Because I did.
Speaker 2:Oh, I still do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I still do. But don't take off something that you've got to put the hard work in. If you're going to fake it till you make it, you've got to put the hard work in to make it. You can't just fake it and coast and then oh well, that didn't work out. Then move on to fake it to something else, because that is a hustler, that is a fraud. So if you're going to fake it till you make it, you've got to hustle, you've got to put in the work to really teach yourself that thing that you start off faking.
Speaker 1:I love that, I love that. Okay, so you know you're a designer, obviously, and I was kind of nervous to have you at the house.
Speaker 2:I mean, it has been nine years since I've been here.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:It has been a while. I've been in LA for nine years.
Speaker 1:Olivia just turned nine and she was a baby when you first came here.
Speaker 2:Literally crying over there on the counter.
Speaker 1:You made her cry I did. You did, I did, I would have done that if you needed, but I, you know, I think that there are a few places I need help with. I'm not too proud to beg, but I know that you have certain areas of a house that you think people should focus on. What are they?
Speaker 2:You know, organization. That's to me the biggest thing. You know I, my book is called right at home, right at home.
Speaker 1:What's your book called Jesus, fake it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my book is called Fake it Till you Fucking Make it. My book is called Right at Home how Good Design is Good for the Mind, and it's not about, oh, here's a bunch of pretty pictures of how you should do your house. It's about getting into the psyche of why you should do your house this way, and the first chapter is talking about figuring out what your design aesthetic is, even though I don't even like to use the term design aesthetic. Why? Because it's not about, oh, I'm farmhouse modern, or oh, I'm French country, or this I'm like. It's all about finding the things that make you happy.
Speaker 2:And if that is a mixture of things, that's fine, that's totally fine. It's all about accepting what you love and not worrying about what other people think. But one of the chapters is all about organization, mental health and how chaos around you creates chaos in your mind.
Speaker 1:I could not agree more.
Speaker 2:I'm a Virgo, I have ADD, I have autism. It's too much for me, yeah, and so I have to have my home organized, and one of the things and I sat down and instantly loved is trays. Trays are my favorite thing. You sent me a beautiful leather tray that is literally on my entrance where you keep your keys. I keep mine in my little Sabrina Soto leather tray. You know, for me it's a place for everything and everything in its place, and so what I love about the way you styled your coffee table slash ottoman is the things that you styled are on a tray, so they look beautiful, they're spaced perfectly. But if you want to come in here, and pick up my feet, yeah.
Speaker 2:I need to get up Each little thing. You take the whole tray up and when you're done you put the whole tray back and it's still perfect. I love a tray. If you want to have your dinner here. Trays, trays, trays, trays for days.
Speaker 1:Trays for days. I love that. Trays for days, honey. Sometimes, when we've walked into hundreds of homes, I consider myself like a psychic designer, because I could walk into a home and tell what's going on in that family's dynamic. Do you too? Yes, right, like chaos equals issues Right.
Speaker 2:I could walk in and I could instantly tell if somebody was struggling with depression.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I would walk into the room and I would see piles of clothes and I'm like and I you know it's not always a telltale sign, but you know, I would say that pile of laundry can set you up for failure or success, for your entire day, for your entire career. People are like what? That's a little dramatic. I'm like well, think about it. You go to bed at night and you see that pile of laundry that you told yourself that day you were going to accomplish, you were going to clean, you were going to put it away and you didn't. And you're like that's not up. The very first thing you see is that pile of laundry that you did not accomplish and you did. The very first mindset you have is seeing your failures.
Speaker 1:You let yourself down.
Speaker 2:Yes, I let myself down. And then when you get to work, it's just a little easier to not accomplish your goals again, because you're, like I, started out my day being okay with not having accomplished just a little thing and it can snowball. It's not about the laundry. It's not about the laundry. It is about the way it makes you feel mentally when you accomplish it or when you don't. Allowing yourself not to accomplish those little things that you've told yourself you're going to do gives yourself permission to allow yourself to not accomplish the bigger things you want to do. You become complacent and you become okay with not achieving your goals. And it all started with a little pile of laundry.
Speaker 1:That's deep, bobby, I like that.
Speaker 2:Did you know that a disorganized medicine cabinet can cause road rage?
Speaker 1:What Is that true?
Speaker 2:Yes. So let's say you get this beautiful new face cream it's in a glass jar, as it should be and you go to put it in your cabinet in your bathroom and the cabinet's full of crap because you haven't thrown away all the old stuff. You keep saying you're going to throw away and so you're like here's a little spot for you and you shove it in there and you go to bed and the next morning you're like I'm so excited to look so young. And you open up the cabinet and it falls out and it shatters everywhere.
Speaker 1:Ooh yeah, that would be horrible, and you're pissed.
Speaker 2:So by the time you get down here with Olivia, she's annoying you a little more.
Speaker 1:And I have a wrinkle.
Speaker 2:By the time you get on the road, that person that cut you off, that was the last straw and it was all because your cabinet was disorganized.
Speaker 1:Good Lord, that's a lot, I'm not going to lie. That's a little dramatic, bobby, seriously, thank you so much for being on the show.
Speaker 2:I love hanging out with you always.