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Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto is a podcast dedicated to inspiring intentional living, personal growth, and transformation. Hosted by design expert and lifestyle guru Sabrina Soto, each episode dives into conversations about wellness, mindset, home, and self-improvement with leading experts and thought leaders. With a mix of practical advice, heartfelt storytelling, and empowering insights, Redesigning Life is your go-to space for creating a life that feels as good as it looks—one thoughtful choice at a time.
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
How to Break Free from Financial Control with Pattie Ehsaei
Financial independence isn't just about luxury purchases. It could save your life. Pattie Ehsaei joins the podcast to share the powerful story behind her new book "Never Date a Broke Dude: The Financial Freedom Playbook," and shares powerful insights about financial independence as the ultimate form of self-love and protection.
Whether you're single, dating, or in a long-term partnership, this episode delivers crucial insights about protecting your financial future. Discover how financial literacy creates the freedom to build the life you truly want. Ready to transform your relationship with money and power? This conversation is your starting point.
Connect with Pattie Ehsaei:
https://www.pattieehsaei.com/
Pattie Ehsaei on TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@duchessofdecorum?_t=ZP-8wqxHU59sTu&_r=1
Pattie Ehsaei on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/duchessofdecorum/
Link to her book:
https://amzn.to/45HFkFk
Connect with Sabrina:
https://www.instagram.com/Sabrina_Soto/
www.SabrinaSoto.com
Welcome to Redesigning Life. I'm your host, sabrina Soto, and this is the space where we have honest conversations about personal growth, mindset shifts and creating a life that feels truly aligned. In each episode, I'll talk to experts in their fields who share their insights to help you step into your higher self. Let's redesign your life from the inside out.
Speaker 2:Patty Sabrina, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I'm so excited to have this conversation with you. For people who don't know, patty Asai just came out with a book. It is amazing, patty. What is the name of this book?
Speaker 2:Never Date a Broke Dude. The Financial Freedom Playbook.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love Pattyatti was actually on my show. She not only was a guest on the Sabrina Soto show, but she also did Breathwork, which I thought was so brave of her, Patti, I love this book because it's not what you think it is. It's not about the broke dude, it's more about. It's much deeper than that. I can't wait to get into this more because I think that we don't talk about money enough, Absolutely, and especially women. We just think it's this topic that we don't discuss and I've always had this belief, maybe because I went through a really hard financial time growing up. But that, women, it's empowering to discuss money with my friends because we help each other. We help each other with financial advice or even investment advice, and we only push each other up. So this is going to be a pretty amazing conversation.
Speaker 1:I want to start off with the fact that you wrote that whoever controls your money controls you. Right. Can you sort of and how your mom's story really shaped your mission, with the fact that you wrote that whoever controls your money controls you? Can you sort of and how your mom's story really shaped your mission? What do you think women should hear about that? Because once you hear that I think a lot. There's a lot of people who push back and say, no, you know, I love that my husband does that, or I love that my partner does that. So can you kind of break down what you mean by? Whoever controls your money, controls your life?
Speaker 2:Yes, you know, the first thing is that we live in a capitalist society. We need money to survive. So if you don't have money of your own, you're putting your survival literally in somebody else's hands, and that is a very dangerous situation to be, and that's what happened with my mother. You know, I wrote this book because I was inspired by my mom's story. You know, she didn't have the resources or the money to leave a very mentally abusive relationship and, at the end of the day, it cost her everything, including her life, and I wanted to use her story as a catalyst for change. So no other woman suffers like my mom, because it's more than just can I buy this purse? Can I buy this Birkin? You know, can I buy the shoe? It could literally be the difference between life and death.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when my, when my parents used to argue about money, because when my mom was in Iran, she was a powerhouse, she had a great career, she made more money than my dad did, and, um, there were equal and the power dynamics were equal. And then, once we moved to the United States and she couldn't pass the exams due to, due to the language barrier, she ended up being a housewife, and every time she and my dad would argue, she would take me in a room and she would say do you see how my life has changed? Because I don't have money of my own. Regardless of how much money your husband makes, you always make and control your own money, because the person that controls your money controls you. But how okay?
Speaker 1:Let's say that somebody is listening to this and they are maybe a stay-at-home mom and they go. Okay, that's fantastic, but I'm too late to this, or he already controls everything. Like, how can somebody turn things around and start controlling their own money when maybe they've let it go to their partner for too long? Right?
Speaker 2:That's a fantastic question, because there are a lot of women in that position, and one thing I want to say is it's never too late. It's never too late. You can start today, and if you are not able to get a full-time job because you're taking care of the kids, for example, then what you need to do, you can get a side hustle. There are so many options now that weren't available to my mom back then. There's so many options. You can do it from your sofa. You don't even have to leave your house. Just get a side hustle, earn some income, put it away in an account which you only control and that is your, in case something happens account.
Speaker 2:Okay, and you know that. That that is your F, you money if you need it. It's not too late.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that then the my next question for somebody who's probably at home listening is like, well, that do what? I think if I brought that up to my partner, that would cause major issues Like what do you mean? Why do you need this? Why I've given you control. You know you have access to the bank account. You're not going to give me access. Won't that create some problems and lack of trust in an existing relationship?
Speaker 2:I think that you have to preface it by saying that I think it's important for both of us to be financially independent and have something for ourselves and you can have a joint account where all the money goes into. But a partner that's threatened by you having some money for yourself to do what you want to do with, that is a red flag. Yes, that is a huge red flag, because if a partner is not allowing you to have some sort of financial independence on your own, that tells you that they want to control you through money yes and that they're insecure yes.
Speaker 2:And that they don't trust you enough to have that side account. I mean, why would you care if your husband or wife had a side account, unless you were threatened by it? And that's a use of control.
Speaker 1:I remember I was dating somebody who wanted to control me through that and there were major red flags of me going to shop. And what do you? Why aren't you letting me buy that for you? It's like, wait what? And it is, it is, it turned out. I didn't date this person for very long because I could see the insecurities and the control and I think that a lot. I don't want to say a lot. I think that some people kind of thrive out of controlling someone through financial means.
Speaker 2:Right. Financial control is the number one way that you control somebody, the absolute number one way. And a lot of people fall into that trap, especially women, not knowing anything about their finances, not knowing how much money they have, what assets they have, whose accounts those assets are under whose names, I'm sorry, those assets are under. Where's the will? Where's the power of attorney? We know nothing, and it's not just about if your husband leaves you. What if you know God forbid he passes away. Yes, you know nothing about the finances of your relationship, and that's what I talk about in the book. In the book I give a whole checklist of all the things a woman should know about her finances and all the things that you need to have, the records you need to keep, because if you don't have that again, you're putting yourself in a very dangerous situation.
Speaker 1:It's true. It doesn't necessarily mean if somebody leaves you for another woman or your partner leaves. I have had situations in my life of friends of my family who their partner passed away and they had zero idea where the money was. I mean, there was one friend of mine's husband passed away and she didn't even know where the checkbook was. But then on the flip side, my grandmother she used to put her the cash, she used to sew it into the pillows of the house and the curtains and so when she unfortunately got really sick and had a stroke and she couldn't talk, the whole family was like going through all the curtains and getting all the cash through the pillow. It's probably best if everyone in the family knows where everything is Right.
Speaker 2:I'd love that, I love that, but yes, it's very important.
Speaker 1:I've seen, also on social media, two different ways that people are talking about feminine and masculine is that there's this whole rise of women saying, well, I want to be taken care of, but then there's this other soft guy era. Can you speak about both of these things?
Speaker 2:Yes. So where do I start? Because this is something that's huge for me. So I think what we're doing now is with the whole trad wife trend on social media wanting to be a traditional wife and wanting a traditional wife.
Speaker 2:You know, you have women with these like very curated lives on TV, talking about how amazing their life is because you know they are submissive to their man, and what you don't see is what happens when the cameras are down. This is fake people. This isn't real life and it's really dangerous because what they're doing is they're putting a bow on submissiveness and calling it empowerment, and you can't be submissive and empowered at the same time. So that's very, very dangerous, and I also take issue with anybody on social media, and you and I know a person that is very much into talking about you're, you're masculine, you're, you're feminine, and every time I hear that I just I cringe, because when you talk about someone being in their masculine or you're being masculine, that has been weaponized against women today. That word that we're too masculine has been weaponized in trying to shut us up, trying to be quiet, don't have control over your life, don't be a go-getter, don't challenge anyone, because if you do, you're masculine.
Speaker 1:Yes, but yes, and as someone who has lived in her masculine most of my life and I'm in my very late 40s I realized that it's okay sometimes to be soft and that is one thing that I have learned is soft in just my demeanor, not necessarily in my boss-ness. You know, I still I am an entrepreneur at heart. I will always work. I like to work, I like being in control of my destiny. At heart, I will always work, I like to work, I like being in control of my destiny. And it, it, it is probably because of I went through some things not like you, but like not that different than you growing up, and I saw my mom sort of fall apart when things, you know, when the relationship with my father didn't work out. But I do believe that we we don't always have to be the boss all the time, like it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to be taken out to dinner, and I don't think I mean that's not what you're. I don't believe when you say broke dude, it's about income, it's about-.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, not at all. I mean the definition of broke dude I put. That's the first thing you read in the book. It's not about being a broke dude. It's about someone, regardless of gender or income, who can't match your ambition, drive, commitment or work ethic.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's talk about this. So can you break down the difference between someone who's financially struggling and then somebody who's a broke dude forever?
Speaker 2:Right. I mean you have people that are okay and if that's what they want, that's fine. They're okay with working a minimum wage job, living in an apartment their whole lives and you know, just living that way and that's okay with them. But if you are not that type of personality, if you are a go-getter, if you are ambitious, if you want more things in your life, then being with that person is not a good match for you and that person will bring you down. I dated a broke dude. That's why I wrote this book and after we broke up, he broke up with me. By the way, I was $30,000 in debt.
Speaker 1:Hold on, cause I want to talk to you about this. So, but that's because you then started financially taking care of him. What if you're with someone who's not financially motivated? They are whatever in the in whatever life that they choose to do. That's okay with them, but maybe the materialistic things aren't good for them. But they're not asking you to help at all. Like, is it somebody asking you cause then you just said you were in debt. Then somebody who's just maybe not financially motivated?
Speaker 2:Yes, and I've always said listen, if you don't have to match me dollar for dollar, but you do have to match me hustle for hustle, and I've said that all the time and if that person is not financially motivated, are they ambitious? Because if they are not, if you are an ambitious person and if you're with someone that is not ambitious, regardless of money, it has nothing to do with money, it has to do with personality. Eventually that relationship will end because you are not on the same level.
Speaker 1:You don't have the same financial goals. Okay, wait, but I'm just playing devil's advocate, because most of the people that are listening not all hi hi boys are women who maybe say well, I am not as ambitious as my husband, I like being. Maybe they have a part-time job or whatever, but they like it and they're just saying but we are a good match because I help, maybe she helps him in the business. Don't you think that there's some yin and yang to the hustle culture? Because don't you feel like if there's two hustle people, two motivated people that it can become exhausting.
Speaker 2:It can, but it depends on. See, I don't define a person who is hustling as someone who's not hustling as yin and yang. I mean I think that comes with. There are so many other things that come with the yin and the yang, Like, for example, my fiance. He hustles, but his personality is different than mine. He is not a Taipei personality personality and he's fine with that. You don't have to be type A Like I don't like masculine, feminine, I really like like type A or type B or you know, those are the things that are alpha and beta, Like I like those, and there's times when everyone should be alpha and there's times when someone should be beta, vice versa. That's how I see the yin and the yang. But, for example, if you're a man and if you're hustling right and your wife is sitting at home taking care of the kids, she's still hustling, she's still doing something with her life, she's a contributor to the relationship. So you don't necessarily have to contribute monetarily.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I do believe also, and I think people when they hear the word hustle, they think like the push, push, push. I think maybe what you're saying is you need to find somebody who is a hard worker, a motivated person. They don't necessarily have to be a millionaire, but if somebody is not motivated to get to work and work hard, then that could be an issue moving forward.
Speaker 2:Right, absolutely, because if you're hustling, then you need someone to pick up the slack in other areas, and if you're not doing that, that's going to be an issue. I can't tell you, sabrina. I work with men all day long and I can't tell you how many of them complain about their wives and they have tons and tons of money about how their wife doesn't do anything. Yeah Well, that's all.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's a whole other issue, but it is one of the core themes that you have in the book is about being your own Prince Charming. Can you talk about?
Speaker 2:that? Yes, you know. I think one of the problems with women is that we've been brainwashed to believe that we are going to wait for this Prince Charming who's going to come save us financially, emotionally, mentally, take away all of our problems.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Disney.
Speaker 2:Thank you, disney. And what we don't understand is Prince Charming is not coming, and if Prince Charming comes, he may not stay. So you need to build the life that you want for yourself now, because the biggest form of self-love is financial independence, because it gives you safety, choices and power and it gives you options. That is the most important thing. Build the life you want now and if he comes, great you can build together.
Speaker 2:But to sit here and wait for the Prince charming to come is such a fallacy, because I think what people don't understand is the guy who wants to be your prince charming is not healed and whole, because the person who wants to be your savior needs that to make them feel better about themselves, to make them feel whole, yes, and that need comes with control. It comes with possession right. So when you're in a relationship with the person that wants to be your Prince Charming, they're always going to need validation to make themselves feel better. You don't want that. You don't. A guy who's healed and hold does not want a damsel in distress. He wants another woman who's healed and hold, who he can build with, who's healed and whole who he can build with, and that's what's important.
Speaker 1:I totally see. I agree with what you're saying. I think that there are a lot of women that just feel well I think there's a lot of women that already know this and I is such a freeness of being able to go and buy your own purse if you want to, or if you want to go to a fancy dinner or if you want to go on a fancy vacation, to be able to pay for it yourself, and I think that a lot of people maybe want to get there, just don't know how to. So I love that you're saying just even get a side hustle if you're at home. But what is the secret formula for creating a relationship that is equal? Is it a 50-50 relationship? How do you do it personally with your fiance?
Speaker 2:So I think the best way to do it is everyone contributing the same percentage of their income to the household expenses. But what if one?
Speaker 1:person is making more than the other person.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what I'm saying. So if you pay the same percentage of your income, not-.
Speaker 1:Percentage. Okay, got it.
Speaker 2:Yes, percentage of your income. So then that takes care of. Well, you make more than me. How much should I pay? Because very few people make the same amount, right? So that's just reality. So if everyone contributes the same percentage, while the numbers may be different, the percentages are the same, so it makes it a lot more fair.
Speaker 1:I love that tip because obviously we all know that most relationships, marriages, they're divorced is because usually money yes, and I think resentment happens when one person is regardless, even what you were just saying. You work with men all the time, her complaining about their wives and if there is a percentage then it feels a little bit like more fair. But what if one person is the only one working? How do you get away with not having resentment for that other person?
Speaker 2:That's a great question. I think that you have to sit down and make sure that you both agree as to how this relationship is going to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think you need to sit down and make sure that you're on the same page with one person working and the other person not working. And even if I'm telling you, even when people get on that same page, even when you have this discussion, if you are the person that's not working in the relationship and not making money, you will never have as much power as the person who makes money, because money is power. That is just the reality of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in your experience, what is the most overlooked financial red flag when people are just starting to date?
Speaker 2:I think the most overlooked financial red flag is how someone behaves around money, when it comes to how much they spend. So you need to really pay attention to how much money this person spends and if they can spend this money. So in the beginning of the relationship, the other person wants to impress you, right? So are they spending all this money blowing it? You need to really think, okay, why is this person spending so much money on me? Because it could really be a sign of not being financially responsible. Instead of look how much this person loves me, they're spending so much money. You have to pay attention to that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but what if? I mean, if you're just starting to date, you don't know what that person has in the bank. So how would you even know if, whether or not they can afford it?
Speaker 2:Well, that's when you have, do you have to ask questions?
Speaker 1:Okay, so let's get to the questions.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it's not on the right, not on the first date, but the side, but when you think I always, I always get asked this question when do we have this conversation? The second, that you think that you are going to get serious with this person is when you need to have this conversation around money. Okay, and what does that look like? So to have this conversation?
Speaker 1:around money. Okay, and what does that look like?
Speaker 2:So you need to make sure that your financial goals align. What do you want in the future? I want to buy a house. I want to have investment properties. Do you want the same thing? You want to live in an apartment and you're fine with that. Okay, Um, who do we have to? Who do we have to support when we get older?
Speaker 1:Ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do we? No one talks about that. Maybe I'd you to support my parents. Do we have to expect you to support anybody? How are we going to do our finances around the children? Are they required to have a job? Are we going to pay for their college? How is that going to work? Then you get into the real stuff, which is what is your credit score? Without a good credit score, you can't even rent an apartment. What is your debt to income ratio? You and I have talked about this before. What is your debt to income ratio? Because if it's above 36%, that means they're on the verge of bankruptcy. Are you a spender? Are you a saver? How much money do you have? How much money do you make? We do an entire financial audit when we get a divorce, right, but before we get into marriage, that is when you need to do your financial audit, and no one does it.
Speaker 1:I agree with you. I think that you know you and I talked about it that people thought it was crazy that I was having these conversations with Nate, my fiance, early on in our relationship and they thought I was crazy. But I realized this was getting serious and it was important to me because I am financially responsible and I wanted to make sure I was going down a path with somebody who was and thank God, thank God and he is and I, you know, it was just important and I'm glad because I'm not saying that I wouldn't date anyone. That wasn't fine, you know, perfect financially on paper, but it does cause a like issues in the future If you don't get those things out in the air in the beginning.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you really have to, but by the time you're married it's too late.
Speaker 1:You're right, by the time you're married. So okay, so you're about to get married.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to get married Actually.
Speaker 1:We're going to be engaged forever. You're going to be engaged for the rest of your life, okay, but you're in California, so after 10 years it's a common law marriage.
Speaker 2:Not, unless you have legal documentation that doesn't make it so.
Speaker 1:Okay, so this is great. This is such good information. So the the, the Patty Asai, how is she getting going into this relationship? What are you putting into place to make sure that you're financially um protected?
Speaker 2:Yes, well, first and foremost, you know, we don't um have any accounts together. We we just contribute a percentage of our income to whatever the household expenses are. So we don't have a joint account. We just we just pay, like one person pays it and the other person pays the person back. So that's the way we've set that up. Um, we don't own any property together. So the property that I purchased, I purchased in my name and he is protected because you know he he is contributing to the mortgage of this property. So we we have things in place as far as once we sell it, how that's going to be divided, because that's fair for him. He needs to build equity in the property.
Speaker 1:But do you think for someone who's starting to build a life together I think we're in different shoes, because we are a little bit older than some people, maybe starting their first marriage in their twenties Are you saying that it's not a good idea? Because I think that it's okay to build, to buy property with somebody if you're starting and you're getting married and you're starting out together. So are there times in which that you Absolutely, I would say what I am doing, what I feel is right for me?
Speaker 2:There's definitely times where you Absolutely Okay, I was just saying what I am doing, what I feel is right for me. There's definitely times where you can own property with someone that you're married to or whatnot, but you have to make sure that you, you are protected if something goes wrong, right, that's the problem. People don't have that conversation of, okay, we're buying this property together. If something happens, how are we going to divide this? Right, we have this particular asset. How are we going to divide that? So all of those things need to be really drawn out legally. So if, god forbid, something happens, it's just a legal document and you go by what you've agreed to rather than, you know, going by emotions, which are so high during the times when things go wrong.
Speaker 1:Yes, I agree. I think that it's not just about protecting yourself. It's about both of you going into this to protect each other too. Absolutely, you know. You just never. Unfortunately, my mom says this you never know. You don't really know someone until you divorce them. She used to tell me that when I was a kid. Divorce them. She used to tell me that when I was a kid, and it's true. It's true. I think finances really shift people's perception of who you thought you could trust, and it's unfortunate, but I've seen many people get burned. Another thing that I'm seeing a lot on social media, and I'm sure you do too, is this high-end spending, this consumerism, this over-consumerism. What do you say to a woman who may be trapped in the it bag? I need to have that? You're watching all these hauls that they're doing and they're constantly purchasing for that dopamine hit. How do you? What would you say to somebody who is perhaps overspending?
Speaker 2:say to somebody who is perhaps overspending that they need to understand why they're overspending, because typically we overspend because we feel that that makes us a better person. If we have the Louis, that is filling something within ourselves that is missing, like I know, I did that because I felt less than my entire life, because I didn't have money. So, once I got that money, I just spent it on these designer handbags to show off to the world that I had money and it's all about showing off. It's not about anything else, it's not about yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:It's not about the quality of the bag. Those bags New York times did a study. Those bags New York Times did a study. Even a Birkin bag okay costs, just listen to this costs about $78 to make $78. And they're selling it for $13,000, $14,000.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's so funny. So, growing up, when I was in high school, we went through a really hard financial time and the thing that I wanted to buy so bad was a Veda shampoo. Okay, it was like I know, I know that was the thing, though it was the thing and I felt like if I bought, if I had a Veda shampoo and I smelled like a Veda, then you know I just would. Yes. And then that turned into moving to New York and the New York culture was like really, chanel and the this and the Christian Louboutin heels and gosh Patty.
Speaker 1:Now, when I go into my closet and I see any of those things, I'm like that's not even me anymore and I don't even care anymore about those things, not to say like there's some things that I really do like the design of. You know, there's a few bags of mine that I actually like, not because of their Chanel or anything, just I like the bag. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But if you are dripping head to toe in designer goods, I do believe that you're trying to search for something that is deeper than just that emblem oh, 100%.
Speaker 2:That is 100% true. You are trying to act and look rich because you think that it makes you a better human being, and what people don't know is that 75% of the money that is spent on luxury goods is spent by the middle to lower middle-class people 75% that statistic just came out and I was, and I tell this story.
Speaker 2:I was vacationing on a private Island a few years ago and I happened to be sitting next to the CEO of a very, very exclusive luxury brand I'm not going to name it and what I noticed at the luxury luxury Island, where everyone had yachts and whatnot, nobody was wearing labels, nobody. And I asked him, I said and I kind of made a joke, I'm like ha, how funny, nobody on this island is wearing X, you know whatever your brand is. And he's like oh, he goes, we don't market to billionaires. And I'm like, and my ears perked up, I'm like what do you mean? He goes yeah, billionaires have nothing to prove. They don't buy our stuff. He's like it's the middle class and the lower classes that have something to prove. Those are the people that we market to Wild, wild.
Speaker 1:And then, yes, I could see that. So for women who are listening and really don't have any financial advice or anyone that they could go to like what, what do you recommend? What do you have your money in? Like, what do you invest in?
Speaker 2:Sure, so I invest in ETFs and index funds, that's what I invest in Dummy down for somebody?
Speaker 2:Yes. So ETFs and index funds are a pool of funds. They will never go to zero, unlike Google, unlike Tesla, unlike Apple these big stocks that everyone's talking about. They can go to zero at any given time. What if an iPhone started to explode? Tesla was within a month of going bankrupt, right? So everyone's like Tesla stock. It was within a month of going bankrupt. So you buy ETFs and index funds and you buy a certain amount and you do that every single month and you're consistent with it, and you set it and you forget it. Okay.
Speaker 2:You do not touch it. So it's a long-term? It is, yes, it is a long-term, and I just want to tell for the younger people-.
Speaker 1:Are we?
Speaker 2:talking about like the S&P 500? Yes, yes, etfs and index funds have our pool of funds that are the S&P 500 stocks.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That's what they have, okay.
Speaker 1:And that's what you keep doing. That's what you keep doing every single month. But what happened, like a few weeks ago, when it went down so much?
Speaker 2:So let me tell you you need to be in the stock market for at least 10 years to build, to beat the cyclical nature of the stock market. At least 10 years, okay. If you're in the stock market for 15 years, historically it's been shown that your chances of losing your money is 0%. Okay. So you don't worry about the market's going to go up. The market's going to go down. You don't worry about that. I never check my stocks. It's ever set it and forget it. I set it and I forget it, and every month I buy more, even if the stocks are down. You buy more because you buy. When there's blood on the streets, even if the blood is yours, you buy and buy and buy.
Speaker 1:Okay, and for anyone who doesn't have a financial advisor or a stock broker, what do you recommend? Like Robinhood, Schwab Fidelity.
Speaker 2:They will give you a free account. Make sure that it's a free account and they're not earning commissions when they're trading. That's really, really important, right? And you just open an account. I give you step-by-step instructions in my book, literally step-by-step instructions, but for whoever's listening, I'm just going to give it to you right now. You open an investment account. You set it up to where, every single month, a certain amount from your checking account is going into that investment account, and you set up that investment account to buy a certain amount of ETFs and index funds every single month. So just to put it in perspective how important investing is 66% of millionaires in the United States have never made over a hundred thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 2:They've become millionaires through investing. And if you cut out that daily coffee yes, okay, yes, it's $5 a day People are like oh, it's not the daily coffee, it's the daily coffee, it's $5 a day, right? $35 a week, that equals $140 a month. If you're in your twenties, if you invested that $140 a month, by the time you retire, by the time you retire, you will have over $2 million. $2 million.
Speaker 1:I agree with you about it. Yes, I think a lot of people are like, well, I can't afford this. It's like, but you're spending. Let me tell me you can't afford it and show me what you're spending your money every day on, Exactly.
Speaker 2:And if you really can't afford it, get a side hustle. Yeah, exactly, and if you really can't afford it, get a side hustle, do something. Whatever you need to do to get at least $100 a month to invest and let that grow $150 a month, or even start $25 a month.
Speaker 2:Whatever, it doesn't matter. All of that adds up because of compound interest, and people don't understand this. The more you have in there, the more you're going to earn on that money, and people don't understand this. The more you have in there, the more you're going to earn on that money and the bigger your portfolio is going to go. So, especially if you want to start early, because if you start 10, I started 10 years later I didn't start investing until I was my mid thirties Same Right, $5 million. I would be richer at retirement had I started 10 years earlier.
Speaker 1:I would have started earlier too. So anybody who's listening trust me to start small. Okay, even if you are married, okay, listen to me, even if you're already married, or even if you don't care about dating. This book is not just about whether or not you're dating a broke dude. This book is about becoming your own Prince Charming. This book is about how you can take care of yourself, for your future, for yourself and for your family. Anyone listening, if you're driving in the show notes, once you stop I will have how to get in touch with Patty. She has over a million followers on TikTok. I'm so jealous I can't get it.
Speaker 2:I don't understand the TikTok culture but you have a TV show, so I guess we're even you can get in touch with her on Instagram.
Speaker 1:On TikTok I'll put her website. I will also link to her book. I highly recommend it. Patty, I'm so, so excited for you. Congratulations on the book.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you, sabrina. I'm so excited too, and I really want to help women be financially dependent. That's that is my why for the book, thank you. Thank you, sabrina. I'm so excited too, and I really want to help women be financially independent. That is my why for the book.
Speaker 1:I know and I think that there's something empowering about women helping other women in this category, and so that's why I love you so much for what you're doing. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Sabrina, thanks for having me. This is great.