.png)
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto is a podcast dedicated to inspiring intentional living, personal growth, and transformation. Hosted by design expert and lifestyle expert Sabrina Soto, each episode dives into conversations about wellness, mindset, home and self-improvement with leading experts and thought leaders. With a mix of practical advice, heartfelt storytelling and empowering insights, Redesigning Life is your go-to space for creating a life that feels as good as it looks... one thoughtful choice at a time.
Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto
Becoming Who You Really Are: A Conversation with Judi Holler
In this episode of Redesigning Life, keynote speaker and author Judi Holler discusses her new book "Holler at Your Dreams" and her journey from a corporate career to authentic self-expression. Judi gets real about her transformation from being a "Corporate Barbie" in hotel sales and marketing to discovering improv comedy in Chicago, which led her to building a seven-figure speaking business.
The conversation dives deep into what Judi calls "self-expressionism," which means using your soul and intuition as your primary brain. Her philosophy centers on knowing what truly lights us up so we can live authentically, rather than getting lost in the constant noise of social media and external expectations. We explore the danger of constant scrolling and how it disconnects us from our inner voice, emphasizing the need to "stop the scroll and tap into soul."
Judi gets vulnerable about the challenges that come with growth, including outgrowing friendships and dealing with what she calls "money grabbers" who prey on your insecurities. We dive into that uncomfortable "liminal space" between who we were and who we're becoming, and the danger of outsourcing our opinions to others who may not understand our vision.
This one's for you if you know you're ready for something different but can't quite figure out what that looks like, if you're struggling with people-pleasing, navigating evolving friendships, or wanting to reconnect with what genuinely inspires you.
Judi's book "Holler at Your Dreams" is available September 9th!
Connect with Judi Holler:
https://judiholler.com/
Judi Holler on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/judiholler/
Judi's Book, Holler at Your Dreams:
https://www.amazon.com/Holler-Your-Dreams-Dangerously-Inspiring/dp/1734825081/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0
Connect with Sabrina:
https://www.instagram.com/Sabrina_Soto/
Welcome to Redesigning Life. I'm your host, sabrina Soto, and this is the space where we have honest conversations about personal growth, mindset shifts and creating a life that feels truly aligned. In each episode, I'll talk to experts in their fields who share their insights to help you step into your higher self. Let's redesign your life from the inside out. Welcome to another episode of Redesigning Life. This week, a friend of mine, a new friend of mine, judy Holler, is on. Judy, thank you so much for joining us today. I want to discuss your book. We have, like I have a whole list of things I want to talk to you about. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2:I mean, I feel like holla, we got to start off with just a good old holla. It's so good to be here, my girl, and yeah, let's dig into it.
Speaker 1:There's a lot to talk about.
Speaker 1:There's a lot to talk about. So Judy and I met at an event for another author's book that was coming out and we just hit it off. You'll understand why once you listen to this podcast. But she has a new book called Holler at your Dreams. Her name is Judy Holler. Lots of discussions about how to manifest the life that you want and how to kind of get out of your own way. In a sense, and because I have so many things I want to talk to you about, like so many good nuggets in this book, can you kind of give a little background to my listeners of who the heck you are?
Speaker 2:So, yes, my last name is Holler. I was born a verb and I really believe it's now kind of poetically and purposely on. Purposely is that a word? We're making it a word like the divine assignment, right? So I and I think we should put a pin in that, because I only woke up this last name I was literally born with at like three years ago, at the age of 47. So I'm I just turned 49. So it was like 46 and a half, 47 that I woke it up.
Speaker 2:You know I had been very corporate Barbie most of my career. So I am a pro speaker, I'm a keynote speaker and I before that was in in corporate Right. So I built this big career in sales and marketing and hotel in the hotel business, hotel sales and marketing. So I worked for big companies like Omni, marriott, starwood at the time when there was a Starwood and I was, you know, opening hotels, working regionally, sales and marketing, hospitality, tourism, meetings, events. That was my world.
Speaker 2:And I moved to Chicago for a promotion. And when I moved to Chicago at the age of 30, I knew no one there. I had like one friend and I knew my life couldn't just be work and so I was looking for things to do outside of work and I had always wanted to try improv, like I'd always heard of Second City, okay, which is a big, very famous improv theater in the city of Chicago. It's kind of like the mothership. So Saturday Night Live, like plucking talent right out of Second City, right, but I'm 30. I'm like a granny for, like, I'm like a granny for the world of improv, right, all these kids in their 20s trying to get like discovered.
Speaker 1:But I was like you know You're a geriatric comedian.
Speaker 2:Yes, literally I was like, okay, but what do I have to lose? I have no friends here and maybe I'll meet a cute boy, although you never really want to date a comedian Nothing, no disrespect to comedians. But that wasn't working out. But I was like, let's go make friends, let that itch and just try it Right. And so I signed up for improv and I was like sort of doing that on nights and weekends, but by day in corporate, and this is like who? When you ask me who Judy Holler is, this is like the flashpoint, because, yes, I had had, like you know, I went to school for radio television. I, you know, wanted to be. Honestly, I wanted to be an MTV VJ.
Speaker 1:If you do, you know, girl, I know you probably did too um, I actually like slept on the floor with my mother on vine to audition for who want to be a bj. Yes, I, we in Hollywood, in Chicago. Oh, I did it in Hollywood, my mom, actually we slept in a tent, oh my god camped out all day in the rain girl it was raining here too same we are saying swear, it's like your sister from another mistress.
Speaker 2:So, yes, I you went the television route, I went the hospitality route, improv route, and found myself like on the way to the stage, in just a different direction Of course, a different divine assignment, but, yeah, like. So you know I'd had a performance, like background, but you know I had never really done anything with it. I was born and raised in St Louis. There just weren't opportunities. I get to Chicago, I start doing improv, I've got this corporate career and I'm like yo, this stuff in the improv theater is changing my life. Like what if I just started like leading our sales meetings? So I would like beg my boss to like let me lead the sales meeting and I would and get some practice and I teach the stuff I was learning in improv, and then I'd go to our association events and I'd run all these free little workshops. Just, I was going to the meetings anyway. So I'm like, let me speak at them, right, for free. And all of a sudden I'd have these like lines of people after my talks and people would come up and go. Here's my card. You got to come to my company. Oh my God, here's my card, you got to come and before you know it, before you know it and I say before you know it like seven years later I had a speaking business, like a corporate speaking business, and in 2016, I left my full-time career to do this full-time.
Speaker 2:So who is Judy Holler?
Speaker 2:You know, I'm certainly a pro speaker, I'm an artist, I'm a poet, I'm a writer, but I'm a self-expressionist most importantly, and I use the arts things like poetry, things like pop art and graffiti, things like the improv theater, just to it started in corporate, corporate, but also a really deep curiosity for, like life and things outside of work, right, that made me cool and creative and more innovative in work, right, right, yeah, so I think that's that's, that's the flashpoint, that's the differentiator. It's like I always was like, yes, I had this big corporate career, because it's not about like quitting your job. It's about like not quitting on yourself, like, so, whatever it is that you're doing, do you have shit on the outside that is inspiring you on the inside? And for me, whether it was improv or chasing the MTV, want to be a VJ or, you know, painting on buildings or writing poetry or playing with color, like I was always just looking for ways to sort of stay awake so that I could do more cool, creative work in whatever it is that I was doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So you started in corporate and then completely reinvented yourself to be a keynote speaker, which has led you to who you are today. And now this new book Holler at your Dreams. So in the book you describe creating self-expressionism as a way to come home to yourself, and can you share how maybe people who are listening now can practice that, because you're talking about how you don't necessarily have to quit everything and then start fresh, because I mean, and some people do that and they are successful, but that's scary to a lot of people, especially people who have children, people who have, you know, a lot of bills. So can you kind of share how you define it and how people can begin doing that themselves?
Speaker 2:me tell you the quote like the trashiest of all trash advice out there on the planet is the whole just jump and the net will catch you, Right Like. It's like actually actually might not be a bad idea to have like a little bit of a plan here, Right Like. And so when I was leaving corporate to sort of do this, you know I had certainly, you know, built a bit of a net for myself and took the time to do that and, you know, saved money and used my nights and weekends and all my vacation days. So, yeah, I mean, this is a reinvention, is a process, and I think the art of self-expressionism and self-expressionism itself is sort of this like, like long-term look at and approach for the lifelong quest and pursuit of growth and change and reinvention, because anytime you go somewhere new you're going to have no clue what you're doing.
Speaker 2:So, you're going to have to relearn self and figure it all out again. So I really define self-expressionism and someone who lives as a self-expressionist, which I completely identify as I think my epitaph on my gravestone like here's what I wanted to say. I wanted to say here lies the founder of self-expressionism. Like that would just be like and also she was a really dope human and like a really cool stepmom and all these things, of course, but like I love creating this like new thing in the world, and what I believe and know it to be is someone, a person who uses like soul and intuition as primary brain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, but it's hard. You talk about this in the book too, about not being able to listen because you're scrolling. It's the silence. You can't hear the silence because you're scrolling. I think that now we are so called to do so many things that it's like you don't get the corporate mask.
Speaker 2:You like get who they are in their bones, because we love to be out in the wild and we're like so what do you do and where are you from and what do you have going on? All this, all the others, all this like small talk that is like right, like it just keeps you small. What if we were to shift into more big stuff, right, and really find out who someone is? And so, before I give you the question, I think I need you to understand where it's coming from, because this was a major flashpoint and the first thing I teach in the art of self-expressionism and it is point of view and perspective and you got to have one. And it is point of view and perspective and you got to have one Because if you don't, it's going to make your work vanilla and like everything else and not as innovative and or creative as it could be. So I was.
Speaker 2:We were moving from the Midwest to the desert. This was about four years ago and we were looking at places to live and my husband's a huge golfer we live in Arizona, so he you know we were trying to find like we had to live by a certain golf course, golf community, right, so that he could get to, you know, his tee times and all this stuff. So we're like touring these facilities and so I'm tagging along and I'm loving, I'm like on these golf court cards, it's like March in Arizona, it's magical, right. And so, scott, there's like the two, the golf caddy guy, the manager, me and my husband and they leave me with this caddy kid who was probably 26. His name was Jason and he goes out, you know, my husband goes out to look at the greens and it's just me and this young 26-year-old sitting in the cart and he leans back and he makes small talk, as we do, and he says so you know what do you do? And I'm like, okay, here we go. I'm an oh, cool, cool man. What do you write about, you know? And I'm like, oh, I have a book called Fear is my First Book, fear is my Homeboy and I, you know, use improv and the arts to help people reframe fear and face fear and all this stuff. He's like, oh, he's like that's so awesome. He goes.
Speaker 2:You got to tell me what inspires you, sabrina, sabrina, and I kid you not. Okay, of course I had things that inspired me, but I panicked, I was like I could not answer him. I was like so caught off guard by the coolness number one of that question and number two, like was panicking at the fact that I could not answer this man Like here. I am an artist, a writer, an author, a creative like he was like hanging on to every word. He thought I was so cool.
Speaker 2:And you know how, when you're talking to people and you see their eyes glaze over and you know you're losing them, I start grasping for stuff. Sabrina, I'm like, oh, the Brene Brown Things that were just so big no disrespect, but nothing like that was from soul source. I have a zillion things that inspire me the boombox graffiti, gilda Radner, cactuses that bloom in the desert, hot pink chartreuse Are you kidding me? Spray paint. I have like a thousand things that inspire me, but I could not like land the plane and I vowed I got out of that golf cart.
Speaker 2:I was like shook by this dude's question. I was like yo, never again, no-transcript, and where I'm going. So my answer to your question is, if I were to ask you what inspires you, I'm not looking for your mission statement, I'm not looking for your core values. I'm not looking for some bullshit corporate response. I'm looking for, like the people, places and things that light you up now, that are making you who you are. Like what inspires Sabrina Soto? Like what is she down with? Like, what is she reading? What is like? What's her color? Like, what's the patterns? Like, where does she go on the weekends? Like, what is she? Does she drink green juice? Does she? Does she like yellow? Does she drive a small car? Oh wait, where's she traveled lately? Like, oh, maybe that's infusing the way she decorates and the way she communicates and the way she is as a human today.
Speaker 2:Right and so I think one of the first things someone could do is, number one go be inspired by things. Like go get inspired in your life. You want to write a cool book and give a good speech, go do cool stuff and tell me all about it. And number two, like know what inspires you and be able to quickly and clearly articulate that and to have a few people, places and things that sort of become the heartbeat for who you are as a human right, because all of that outside stuff is going to make you a better, whatever it is that you do for a living and for money. Does that make sense? Absolutely so. I think that's point of view, that's perspective, and all good artists have a point of view and a perspective. And if you want to be different than everyone else, what's yours. And if you don't have an answer to the question, it's a great homework assignment.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I do think that I mean I know what mine is. But I think that a lot of people who are listening are like, yeah, this sounds great, judy, I would love to go and get inspired and go out and travel. But it's at least a lot of people that I'm in contact with and a lot of viewers that are listeners and viewers of the show that, like DM me, everybody just seems like they are trying to make ends meet and they can't. They want to be inspired, they want to find their passion, they want to find their purpose, yet they find it really. They feel stuck and exhausted from just the status quo.
Speaker 1:For me, like what inspires me is connecting, and I find it very invigorating and like energy goes through my entire body when I connect with people, not the BS weather talk I can't stand small talk. It's like, yes, I know what the weather is, I'm in it with you, like we don't have to talk about it. But when I can really connect with somebody and meet them in their eyes and talk about stuff that is deep and when I can inspire people to live a better life and not make it difficult.
Speaker 2:Yeah, any more difficult than it already, is right, and I think-. I don't think life has to be difficult you know, it doesn't have to be Agreed.
Speaker 2:And what you just said. Even connection, like that's a beautiful thing to know about yourself, because then you're like, oh, you're probably out of alignment and things are showing up for you that don't feel good when you're not getting the connection that your soul needs right. And guess what? Connection doesn't cost money, it doesn't cost a dime. I think excuses can be a very dangerous thing. I hear it a lot too in the conversations I have with the readers of my work. You know that whether it's time or money or resources, or you know their own limiting beliefs, I think excuses can be a very dangerous place for fear to live, because I think there's. You know, I don't know, I don't know if we're ever really stuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, you know, I think we can. It's easy for you to feel like it when you look at your schedule. But, yeah, you know, it is finding those micro moments, the micro moments through the day to just be quiet and there is so much opportunity to scroll. So, you know, that's why I love that you even touched on that in the book of you know, finding that you're so stuck in the scroll you said that you can't hear your soul.
Speaker 2:Right, and those are choices, those are micro moment choices, Right. And so I think you look at anybody you know, I don't know, I just kind of have flipped the script. You know, one of the ways I know I'm out of alignment I've done a ton of work on so much self-discovery oh my God Talk to me about that, oh my gosh. The journey of self-discovery that I've been on over the last four years has been really powerful. I've played with so many things personally, professionally, spiritually, tell me what your favorite modalities that have worked for you.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is where I'm about to go. I mean, it changed. It's one of the things I it's a part of the art of self-expressionism, which is one of our L's, because HALA HALER stands for one. Each letter kind of, is a in my keynotes is a piece of the framework that I teach. And the second L is leverage your design. For me, it's human design all day long. I don't know if you've done any human design work.
Speaker 1:I haven't, but I'm actually going to meet somebody next week who's really into it, because I've never done it. My God, I think I'm a generator.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, cool, Okay, so you know you are. Yeah, okay, that's great, that's good, that makes sense. 70% of the world are generators, manifesting generators or manifestors. Right, 20% of the world are projectors. I'm a projector and when I found out I was a projector, I was pissed. I was like run it again, run it again. You put in the time wrong, run it again, baby, I am a manifesting generator, I know it.
Speaker 2:But see, now I understood why things started breaking for me, because I'm trying to be something like against my design and human design, if I could like sum it up, and, like you know, I'm in school, like I am a student of the work. Right now. I'm actually building a soul diving practice. I want to become a practitioner here, like I love it so much, sabrina, that I am like in the lab on it and studying it. But I think it's this really beautiful. Like it is basically a soul map of how prosperous you can become when your full potential is tapped into and turned on. And what it is is a snapshot of you at birth. But what it doesn't and all the potential that exists in you like you from the minute, second date, time you were born but what it doesn't take into consideration is all the human conditioning that gets in the way right.
Speaker 2:That jumps into our life. So we've got all this stuff. So it's like it's the potential of you when the hallways of your house are cleaned up.
Speaker 1:Right, it's like for people who are listening. You're like what the heck are you guys talking?
Speaker 2:about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like astrology Meets.
Speaker 2:Meets the I Ching meets, quantum physics Meets, gene Keys meets. So it's like science. It's like because astrology is fun, but I've never really I like I love all that stuff, you know, but this was something for me that felt for the first time like the quantum physics of it really hooked me and the science of that and some it was undeniable. Wait, okay.
Speaker 1:So if anybody's listening and you're like, okay, so if you have chat GPT which everybody I bet you do just plug in your birth date, where you were born and the time and it'll tell you your what is it called. You just said it.
Speaker 2:Your human design profile is right, so it's your-.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then you could read up on it, so you don't have to pay anything.
Speaker 2:You could just at least know it's free, you can, you can get the snapshot for free and then you know there are so many beautiful people you can work with to go deeper into it. But the reason I brought it up is like I know I'm out of alignment, like bitterness, like so when you talk about journey of self-discovery and like tell me about that. So human design kind of came into play and I started really reading and studying myself and learning more about, like all this potential and maybe where shadow sides were coming up and just things that weren't healed and oh my gosh and oh my gosh, and just environments that work for me, environments that don't work for me. And one of the things human design teaches you is it'll show you how it'll give you two words so how you know when you're in alignment, when things are working, this is how you're going to feel, and when things are not working, you know this is when this is coming up. You know you are out of alignment and you can either awareness, shut it down and call it back or keep going down that rabbit hole and push everything away from you.
Speaker 2:But I went through it. Mine is bitterness, and so I went through a phase, Sabrina and this is so, not holler but I was like super bitter, like I was that girl that was like easy, oh, must be nice, easy, how long ago was this? I'll feel it and I'm like, oh, now I know it, now I know, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, I call it back and I get myself, I can get myself to feeling good about things faster, right, whereas before I would ruminate and then I was wondering why things weren't working or opportunities weren't coming or doors were closing or I was, you know, breaking out or not sleeping, or just all these things weren't. I was so out of alignment, like just like it felt like my business and my life and my brain was just like like I was broken, you know, because I was like sort of fighting who I came here to be. And once I found out I was a projector, I was like, oh, we are 20% of the planet, like we are not your typical. We are typical. We do not generate our own energy.
Speaker 2:So I'm sitting here trying to be a generator in a projector body, wondering why things aren't working, like I'm here to sort of be more receptive and to I can't even every time the words come out of my mouth it feels uncomfortable, but like I'm here to actually because and you're gonna listen to this and roll your eyes because I did too but I'm actually here to like do less and like surrender and let go and all this stuff. But I was like well, how do I pay my mortgage, like? How do I like I got bills to pay, I got a team, I got a book to launch. How do you sit back and like surrender when you got shit to do? Right, you know I have people that depend on me, and so I had to like figure out what that looked like for me, and human design was one of the many modalities.
Speaker 1:For me it's like one out of my mom says how do you know what works? You do so many things. I'm like I don't care, I don't care.
Speaker 2:Give me all of them.
Speaker 1:As long as.
Speaker 2:I'm happy, like the rap work. Yeah, all of it, you talk about leveling up.
Speaker 1:You describe those seasons where things that once maybe felt good at some point in your life suddenly don't feel like you were just talking about in alignment or just don't feel good, and that's considered leveling up.
Speaker 1:How can you reframe those uncomfortable parts? Because I think, especially at least at my age going, you know, I'm in my late 40s, the things that I used to find fun I don't find fun anymore. And then I'm like, well, who am I now? I'm sort of in this in-between time and you say that that's that uncomfortable. Leveling up is growth.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that liminal space, what you're talking about is the liminal right. You're kind of in between nowhere and not yet. You're not like yet finished on your journey, but you're no longer in your 20s, right. So you're in this, like you know, same, like I'm 49, you know, and I feel it on a soul level. But I think that's also awesome, like one of the things that I think I get really excited about. I think we get I don't know, I'm really I love endings, I love change. I love that because it means something new is about to drop in.
Speaker 2:And so, you know, as I've leveled up and had a lot of endings that were a part of that leveling up whether they were business relationships or sort of even companies, stages, rooms that built me no longer feel like the right rooms for me, friendships that now you know you go through, friendships that used to feel like home now have tension, right.
Speaker 2:This is like why you'll stand in your closet and you'll have all these beautiful clothes and you're like I have nothing to wear. I have nothing to wear and I'm like, oh well, maybe it's not yours anymore. Yeah, like, maybe maybe it's just not for you anymore. And I think this is the pursuit of self-expressionism and self-expression itself. It's like how do we go figure out how to, to figure out what is for us right? And we'll never do that if we're not brave enough to like surrender to the ending and let go a little bit so we can let new stuff come in from the outside. I think so many times we hold on to things but if something isn't for you anymore, it will like period, it will not stay with you and you will not wanna stay with it.
Speaker 1:Or it will stay with you, but it'll drag you down.
Speaker 2:Or it'll stay with you but it'll drag you down, or it'll stay with you and you will be miserable and sick and irritable and stressed out and snapping at everybody and stuck You'll feel stuck. You'll feel like you're in a rut Again. You'll stand in your closet and be like I have nothing. Well, maybe that isn't for you anymore. And so this is where a lot of this stuff kind of all works together in the art of self-expressionism, because, you know, point of view and perspective and courting your creativity and experimenting with your fear and building all the courage it takes to do stuff like this is a big part of the process, because it is not for the faint of heart, it is not easy, but I think endings are the price we pay for the joy and the beauty and the abundance of a new beginning, and so I sort of welcome an ending.
Speaker 2:And you know, certainly you know we're going to lose people we love, and I'm not necessarily talking about death. I think we're all going to move through tragedy. We've, all you know, lost people we love and we will continue to, and so I think you need to take your time to move through that. I'm not saying it's an ending, move on. I think death holds its own category, right. That's a loss that takes a soul, however much time it needs to move through that. But I'm talking about endings in business and business relationships and life relationships and partnerships and friendships and just with look and feel and clutter and just letting things go in your life. It's just a beautiful way to reset the playing field and honor where you've been but also get excited about where you're going, and so that's kind of how I flipped the script and it helps me get through that liminal space a little bit faster, right, because I mean definitely, you know, one of the things I'm feeling happen a lot right now are friendships that used to feel like home.
Speaker 1:Can we talk about this a little bit? We need to talk about this, okay, because a lot of my my friends, new friends, are talking about this and again, I don't know if it's a 40s thing, but it's like almost this new awakening that, oh, my friends, you know, from 20 years ago or even 10, it doesn't, it doesn't align anymore and it's not a bad thing, it's just a movement, and I think a lot of you know I was talking to my friend the other day. She has nothing in common with a friend of hers that lives nearby her and she feels very guilty not wanting to hang out with this person and I completely understand that. But I think that there's no shame in moving, you know, away. It doesn't mean you have to ghost someone, right? You know you don't have to do that, but it's okay and I think you know you can't expect to have the same things in common with everybody for 20, 30, even sometimes 10 years.
Speaker 2:It's crazy and I have such like, I'm such a loyal person, right, and I like in my ride or dies, or my ride or dies, but there's still friction there, especially as I keep becoming and keep becoming and keep becoming and keep becoming, and as it gets edgier and wilder and more holler and all these like things that live in my head that I wanted to bring to life for years. And you know my people know me, but I think it also scares them because will you still be my booty, right? Like if you change, and it also is like if you change too much. It also holds up a mirror to the change someone's not willing to make in themselves, right, and so there's. It is a really.
Speaker 2:I think it's one of the toughest dances. That's why the self-discovery is so important and the caring of self and all the stuff we do, whether we put ourselves in a sauna or a cold plunge, or the breath work or the human design, or you just sit outside and stare at the stars. You got to have something outside of your work, like that's what this is really all about. It's about having something outside of what you do every day, whether you're working in corporate, working for yourself or raising a family, whatever it is that your work is. You have to have something for you, you, you, you like, like it's. And that work I do on myself, that self-discovery, that obsession with it, gives me grace and pressure under fire, but certainly the patience to be able to say this has nothing to do with me, right, and I would ask everybody for their opinions. Like my best friends, people who, like, have never built a business, people who literally have never.
Speaker 2:They have no dreams. They ask the places I'm going in my head like their worlds. Couldn't even imagine the kingdoms I've built inside the Hall of Earth, right, but I'm banking my future on an opinion of someone I went to college with and used to like drink, Captain and Cokes and smoke cigarettes with. I love you, but like you've never built a business. And what am I doing? Right, but I was so addicted to the approval of these women.
Speaker 1:I got you. I totally understand.
Speaker 2:That I love myself.
Speaker 1:It took me a long time to figure that out, you know, long time. I used to completely be the same, and sometimes now, when I hear people having an opinion on whatever subject, let's just say you know, it's my fashion, whatever. And then I'll look at them and be like do I like their style? It's like no. So then why am I like? Why do I care?
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, when I want your life like I love you and I love your life, the life you've built for yourself, but I wouldn't want that life. So I've also been like, okay, be very careful. I read about this in the book too. Like to your point be very careful. Like there is something powerful about having a network and people that can affirm you, affirm you and give you that like, ooh, like creative nudge that you're moving in the right direction. But they're also like with you, they're on the field, they're in our, they're in alignment with where you're at.
Speaker 2:Like I think that's very different than like asking opinions, like, do you like this? Do you like this? Do you like this? Because then you'll. Just it's like wait, no, do I like this? And I think that's become my new compass, because it's very dangerous to outsource opinions and give away power to all of these people outside of you, right, when 99% of the time, you know you know the answer. And I'm kind of like in this era now of like, okay, wait, that's great.
Speaker 2:Like every time I post on social I just said it today, before we got on the air I was like I go, even me posting this. I'm like, say, I'm talking to my Instagram right now. I'm like, okay, me posting this to you right now. I'm like, okay, me posting this to you right now. I love you follower, fan friend, I go, I don't really care if you like this or not, I like this and I love this book. Because I'm out promoting my book right and I'm like, and this matters, and if I don't speak up or say anything, so if I'm sitting on my social like worrying about all my friends from college and high school being like annoyed about how much I'm talking about my book, like I'm doing myself such a disservice right, I know and it just steals it from all the people that could use it, and it's also like it's just so dangerous.
Speaker 2:So I'm like no, I like this. I like this content. I like the shirt I'm wearing. I like the bubble braid today.
Speaker 1:I'm going to get on.
Speaker 2:I'm going to pop off today. I'm going to talk about this. I'm going to talk still in practice on this stuff.
Speaker 1:It doesn't get any easier. You just get braver and stronger. You do get stronger. It's micro. Can you talk about your Barnes and Noble moment that you talked about in the book?
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, when I went and drove myself in my like dark night of the soul and I drove myself to Barnes and Noble, yeah, the way I opened the book. Okay yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was like in a spiral again bitterness, bitterness, bitterness. I was in this like spiral of, like self-loathing, right, and I was 100% blocking all of my blessings, like I was just in a dark headspace, beating myself up full of self-doubt, overwhelmed, confused about what, and, honestly, it was all because I was had my head on a swivel. I was just looking around at what everybody else was doing and there's this thing that happens, sabrina, when you get to a certain level. I don't know if you've experienced this yet, but I call them the money grabbers. The money grabbers start coming around. So once you get a certain level, so this happens in the speaking business okay, money grabbers start coming around. So once you get a certain level, so this happens in the speaking business okay, money grabbers start coming around. So you get to a certain level and you're like okay, you know, I'm like, you know, this is back in 2019. My first book came out in 2020. Like I'm, I'm popping off, right, I'm speaking on all these stages and I'm starting to get hot, right and all this stuff. You know my speaking business scale seven figures, all this People are talking about me and all of a sudden, money grabbers come around and the phone starts ringing with agents, managers, people branding, courses, click, scale, go, boom.
Speaker 2:This is what. If you holler, you know we need to get on a call. If you really want to get to this level, you got to do this. And this is what they're doing. This is what they're doing. You need this, you need this course, you need that. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, and you're like, I guess I do. I wanna get to the next level. I wanna be yeah, I wanna be on the big stage. So sure, take my money. So I'm like writing all of these checks to people, right, and you know, just all these people were getting rich off my insecurities. But I'm going soul bankrupt, right, because I'm like lost and confused and listening to all of these people outside of me, and so I lost source and compass and knew that I wanted to create a movement around my last name but was being told that it would never work. So I, in the middle of the confusion, go to Barnes Noble and I love a Barnes Noble, I love the way it smells.
Speaker 2:I love all the notebooks, I love all the pens. I love all the gifts, right, I just love the poetry section. I just like all the books there, right? The music, ooh, the books on art, you know, it just is great. The kids section have you ever just hung out even like the teens section?
Speaker 1:I have a nine-year-old.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. So you know, I mean, like I love it, I go to the kids section, like you might low key, every now and then. If you're ever in Arizona the Shea and the 101, you would see me sitting on those little chairs. I do it, why not? It's just like it's such a fun. It's something I'll do on creativity dates every now and then and I just kind of get into the. I'm like, yeah, like I buy notebooks, I buy pens, I buy a bunch of poetry books, I buy a bunch of children's books in verse, like kids books in verse, and and just it was like and I just made a decision right then and there scratches not a computer where I can delete things. I'm going to scribble, scratch and just start writing again, because I had always loved poetry.
Speaker 2:It's something I'd kind of kept secret for many years because I didn't even think it would be possible to do motivational poetry or write some bars. I'm like this is crazy, like who do? I think I am and I just I kind of kept it hidden and I just started writing again and pulling out the old notebooks and sort of that self-expression, that choice to self-express, to pick up the pens and the notebooks and to sit in the kids section and to peruse the poetry and to just smell the Barnes and Noble and to just sit down and write those first five words. And in that first poem I rewrote again after years. That choice to self-express saved me. I really believe it did. I've seen plenty of shamans, I've done all the self-discovery, I've taken all the courses, all the coaches, and it's all beautiful and great, but my self-expression saved me and I think it continues to, because it reminds me of me. Because it reminds me of me. It's just me hanging with me and it just, you know, it was just a powerful sort of cosmic day for me and I just felt very and my best friend also, I think what got me to the Barnes Noble.
Speaker 2:And here's the thing I did not tell you and I don't even know if I alluded to this in the book, but my best friend, jodi, had said to me just moments before that Barnes Noble trip. She said you know, jodi, and she kept hearing me flail, flail, flail. I was just so lost, all over the place, beat myself up, beat myself up, beat myself up. And she's like you know what, jodi, you keep talking about all this poetry, you keep talking about it, you keep talking about it. She goes you know what, and she was one who told me about these children's books. She's two small boys, an eight and a 10-year-old. She goes there's these books that are written in verse. You should go pick them up. And she goes you should consider doing your next book in verse.
Speaker 2:And just to hear, it was like she dropped it so casually, but it was almost like it was like all of a sudden my world went like this woman outside of me that I deeply love and respect. That is almost like I don't have a relationship with my mom. So my girls, my home girls from like the old school, ride or die. I put a lot of pressure on them. God love them because they're like mamas to me, you know, and their opinions do mean a lot, which can be dangerous. And we've cleaned up this mess a little bit.
Speaker 2:Me and my besties can be dangerous, and we've cleaned up this mess a little bit, me and my besties. But Jodi did see something in me that I hadn't yet saw in myself, and her saying that and reflecting it to me sort of put my world in 5D and I said, oh, my God, you know. So that's what got me to Barnes Noble, like, well, let's go play around in that section, let's go look up. And she gave me all these books that her kids were reading. So I went to go find those authors and I just started playing with it and that's how all this began.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's funny that I have a very similar situation that happened with me, and I'm telling this because it's going to be different for everyone and I think inspiration can come in the times that you don't even expect it. My book that I'm working on came right before I was going to do a hot yoga class. The whole idea came to me while I was just like waiting for the class to begin and sometimes you just have to be able to be silent to listen to those voices. But also in yourself you have sometimes inspiration. But to be able to have a circle around you that you trust, that wants you to succeed, is important. You don't want to surround yourself with yes people all the time because there is no. It's so much.
Speaker 1:I was telling a friend of mine he just came out with a movie. He brought it over here, let some people listen to it, asked for notes. I told him the truth. Everybody else just clapped it was great. Then, when he left, everybody was like giving notes and I said why don't you say it to him when he was here? Because it's very hard for people to tell it is. It's hard. It's easier for people to say good job and keep it moving. Then, hey, can we sit and let me tell you all the things I think you could do to improve this, because I want you to succeed as much as you do. So be careful. I say that to say make sure you surround yourself with a good circle, like you have, judy, with your best friends, with people who want you to succeed, because they can be such a catalyst to your next level.
Speaker 2:A thousand percent Like my book Holler at your Dreams almost did not exist because it was retitled by one of those money grabbers I was telling you about, because they were telling me that Holler Dreams would never work in corporate America. So I rebranded everything and I did read in my keynote, read in my website, read in the book, and we were calling it all. They're like you're going to be the be the verb girl, the be the verb girl, and I'm like, okay, that's cute. But I'm like, oh, I guess that's what I need to do to be successful and to get booked in corporate.
Speaker 2:And I was afraid I need to pay my mortgage. I don't want to lose my speaking business. I've built this thing for 10 years and what have I done? And so I panicked, changed everything to be the verb, and so it was coming time just this spring. So this is going to be like people that tell you the truth. Just this spring I had to make a decision on the book cover and I couldn't do it. I was like sick, like I couldn't, I could not, I was having. No, I lost like a year's worth of videotape of me on stage giving the be the verb talk, because it's I can't even look at myself. It's like a shell of me right because I'm like. So again, if something's not yours, if something's not yours.
Speaker 1:Yes, listen to me as a brand manager.
Speaker 2:So when I had to make a decision on the cover, I sent it out to a trusted group of advisors. Two or which which were my best friends? One is my. The three people, the three people out of 10 that told me the truth, are my two best friends from high school. They both go cool, judy, they're like what happened to Holler at your Dreams? Love you. But what happened to Holler at your Dreams? They're like. We're so confused and I'm like, okay, okay. So and then my creative director, who is still with me ride or die to this day. She literally left me a voice message and she goes you're not going to like this, but that is cheesy as hell, stupid as hell. You are way cooler than that. This is not the vibe she goes. I'd rather just be dangerously inspiring ideas for the wildly dope soul. What happened to Holler at your Dreams? So three people out of 10, everybody else was like God, love them. They're like you're amazing.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, we're so proud of you.
Speaker 2:I love them for that. You need to surround yourself with people, but coming full circle to the point of like if it's not be, the verb was assigned to me by a brand manager outside of me. It was never mine, so it was never going to stay with me and this is why I wasn't sleeping, et cetera. But it almost did not happen because I was so afraid and I let someone else from the outside try to paint the canvas of my life with their brush. And may we never do that. May we never do that. May we never allow anyone else to paint our lives canvas with their brush.
Speaker 1:Judy. Thank you so much for everyone listening, obviously, on the show notes. I'll have how you can get in touch with Judy. The book is Holler at your Dreams. It is available September 9th, right, yes, she's out A pre-order if you're listening to this before this pre-order and it's available on Amazon and where you get your books.
Speaker 2:You love buying books yeah, Thank you so much, Judy. Thanks Sabrina.