Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto

Why You Can't Stop People-Pleasing (And How to Finally Break Free)

• Sabrina Soto and Beatriz Albina • Episode 117

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In this conversation, I sit down with Beatriz Victoria Albina, a family nurse practitioner, somatic experiencing practitioner, and author of the newly released book End Emotional Outsourcing to unpack why so many of us struggle with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and burnout.

Beatriz introduces the concept of "emotional outsourcing" (a term even Oprah is talking about) which describes how we've learned to source our sense of worth, safety, and belonging from everyone and everything outside ourselves. But here's the revolutionary part: she explains that these aren't personality flaws. They're survival skills we developed as kids, and we can unlearn them.

We get real about the invisible labor women carry, the pressure to be productive over everything else, and why setting boundaries feels so physically uncomfortable. Beatrice then walks us through practical, body-based techniques you can start today. 

This conversation is for anyone who's exhausted from putting themselves last, who feels guilty for saying no, or who's ready to stop apologizing for taking up space in their own life.


Connect with Beatriz: https://beatrizalbina.com/

Link to Beatriz's book: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Free Meditations: https://beatrizalbina.com/free-meditations/

Beatriz on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/


Connect with Sabrina:

https://www.instagram.com/Sabrina_Soto/

www.SabrinaSoto.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Redesigning Life. I'm your host, Sabrina Soto, and this is the space where we have honest conversations about personal growth, mindset shifts, and creating a life that feels truly aligned. In each episode, I'll talk to experts in their field who share their insights to help you step into your higher self. Let's redesign your life from the inside out.

Speaker 2:

Hi, and welcome to Redesigning Life. Today I am thrilled to welcome Beatriz Victoria Albina. Beatriz just released her book called End Emotional Outsourcing. Beatriz, thank you so much for being here today. I really want to get started because I have so many questions for you, but thank you so much for being here.

Speaker:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm delighted to be here.

Speaker 2:

I feel like this is going to be a really powerful conversation. Most of my listeners are very successful women who deal with burnout and people pleasing. And you coined a term and emotional outsourcing. Can you just right off the bat explain exactly what that is? Because I know Oprah, as you mentioned, just spoke about this. So I feel like whatever Oprah is talking about matters.

Speaker:

That's amazing thank you, thank you, thank you. Uh yeah, I was really so grateful. Oprah picked the term up. That's a pretty funny deal. Congratulations. It's a good get. Thank you. Thank you. So emotional outsourcing is the term I created as an umbrella term for our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits. And notice I'm talking about habits, not identities, not who we are, habits. And we'll get into that more in a second. But first we'll define the term. So emotional outsourcing is when we chronically and habitually source our sense of the three vital human needs: safety, belonging, and worth from everyone and everything outside of ourselves instead of from within at a great cost to self.

Speaker 2:

So when I hear you say that, I'm like, okay, I want to pretend that I don't do that. But aren't we raised in a society where, you know, it's like your job, your kids, your awards, your whatever, like fill in the blank gives you a sense of worth.

Speaker:

100%. Yeah. I think most of us are raised up to completely externalize our sense of worth, our sense of value, our sense of importance. And here in the West, it's very much towards productivity.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker:

Right? Productivity over everything.

Speaker 2:

Over everything. And I have actually been dealing with just noticing that in my own life a lot. Um, I was asked the other day about what my hobbies are, and I realize I don't have any hobbies because I'm always productive. So can you explain to me when you don't outsource your emotional like worth or any of your worth to somebody else? What does that even look like?

Speaker:

I love, can I just love that you went there? So often I'm asked, tell me about the problem, right? And we spend all this time wallowing in what's wrong. And it's a really beautiful shift that you want to start with imagining what can be. So thank you for that. That's um it gives a lovely tone to our conversation. So when you are not emotional outsourcing, you are living in interdependence. So people often think if I'm independent, then I can't have codependent habits. But they're really just two sides of the same coin. Um in interdependence, you know yourself and others to be autonomous creatures. Uh, and from your autonomy and your grounded, embodied sense of self, we live in mutuality and reciprocity with the people around us. Meaning, I do all kinds of nice things, kind things, loving things, generous things for the people in my world. And they do the same for me, but not from tit for tat, not from with all I've done for you. Oh no, no. We do it from love, right? We give from our emotional overflow, we give from our capacity and not at a cost to self, right? Right. Um, we don't question whether people like us. We don't question if we've done something wrong. You know, that whole like, are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Oh God, you know, you didn't respond to my text for like 27 minutes. And so I'm just wondering if, like, do you hate me, Sabria? Do you do you? Do you hate me? Right. That's you do. Okay, great, good, perfect. As long as you hate me, we can move.

Speaker 2:

Bring that up. I I know that feeling all the time, right?

Speaker:

Yeah. And so instead, we can just be ourselves. We can just be exactly who we are and dress how we like, talk how we like, do what we like in our lives for ourselves, not to please others or try to like emotionally manipulate them, which is so much of what we're doing in emotional outsourcing without even realizing it. What were you saying, love? Is it ultra confidence? It's yes and, right? It's confidence that's embodied, meaning it's grounded in the body. Okay, right? Because we can yeah, because we can tell the story. I'm so confident. But what happens then when somebody pushes up against your no or your boundary, right? Do you fold like an origami swan? Right. It feels like shit. Exactly. Okay, oh God, we I have so many things.

Speaker 2:

Like my non sequitur brains all over the place. I love it, I love it. I'll follow, I'll follow. Okay, go. I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was at an event last week about boundaries. My friend Terry Cole, she like wro wrote the book Boundary Boss. We were talking about boundaries, and when you do sometimes create those boundaries with the people you love, sometimes you it feels awful because they are mad. So you're somatically, it feels like pressure. Um, and so how how do you get how do you fight that feeling to go back to being like, oh, forget it, forget it. When you don't emotionally outsource your worth of somebody else's liking you, how do like how do you dance that dance?

Speaker:

Yeah, you recognize that it's completely human and normal to care what others think. We're pack animals. We need each other. Of course, I care. And I don't care about your opinion, about my life, more than I care about my opinion.

Speaker 2:

So, yes, I care because we're supposed to be in community and and we all are supposed to be together. Because if we were all ultra-independent, it would be a very scary world. Indeed. So, yes, you're allowed to not like uh, you know, how I'm living my life. You're allowed to do that. And I love you still, and I'm still gonna do it my way. Exactly.

Speaker:

Exactly. Okay. And I think part of it is is really about building that self-trust that allows you to ebb and flow. I I think where we've kind of gone astray with boundaries and so much therapy speak in our common language is that it's become very black and white, very all or nothing. And I think that's in large part, I mean, the nature of pop psychology and the nature of like so much of what we're learning these days is from like 90-second reels.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Right. And so we're we're learning, set boundaries, tell them no, preserve your peace. And and there's the nuance is lost by nature of the medium, right? And so there's there's a lot of nuance in the middle. So my friend Sunai is one of the most thoughtful, practical people in the world. She was at my house a couple of weeks ago and she said, Oh, you need to change that, that, and that. And I said, See, senora, I didn't even check in with myself because I know she's right. But did I question myself, put myself down, make me less than? Oh, God, no. I just know when she's right and I'm not, and I'm not even gonna think about it because I've not done what she said before. And it wasn't a great choice. Oh, I love friends like that. They're great to talk about. She's amazing. I'll send her to your house next. I mean, she'll declutter. You won't own a damn thing when she's done, but you'll be so happy.

Speaker 2:

So you obviously, I know when you write a book, you have to, it's something that you were probably up against so much with the work that you do. You are a family nurse practitioner, you are a somatic experiencing practitioner, and a somatic life coach. So you have clients, and you probably saw this over and over again, to the point that you're like, I have to write about this, right? Yes. So, where do you see in all of the years that you've been doing this, where did you see this become, where do you see the problem is?

Speaker:

Yeah. I actually really started seeing it in clinic first. I um so I had a, I was a primary care provider for quite a while and had a pri uh a holistic medicine clinic, private practice in Manhattan. And I would see folks with these chronic belliaches, with chronic stress, uh, not who were chronically fatigued, who had like a lot of the chronic issues that Western medicine is is challenged by. Um and I would see folks get better under my care when we do all the right lab tests, all the right diagnostics, all the right nutrition, all the right everything. And they'd get better, have a stressor, and then all the tummy issues, all the fatigue, all the rashes, right? All the whatever it was would come roaring back. And I'm a nerdy nerd, right? So I sort of sat down and started looking at the Venn diagram of these experiences. And it was so often so far beyond the things we would think about in clinic. You know what I mean? Yeah. It it was the promotion, and then that throws your whole sense of self and worth and value into question. Uh, seeing your parents, um, starting to date someone, a breakup, having a kid and becoming this huge life transition into motherhood and what that means for your identity. I mean, name the huge thing, the the knock-on impact on the body was wild. And so I did what I do because I'm the kind of New Yorker who won't stop asking questions, right? And I would just like an annoying toddler say, why, why, why, why is this happening to my baby? Putting ourselves last chronically and habitually, because it's all we've been taught. It's all we've been taught. It's all we've been taught. What else are we gonna do? Listen, the reason I came up with the term and wrote the book is because I'm so freaking sick and tired of people saying, uh, you know, I'm just like such a people pleaser. Ugh, you know me, I'm such a perfectionist. Oh, there I am, being codependent again. That's how I am. Baby, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have to stop with this is my identity, this is my label, this is how I am. No, mi amor. These are survival skills that you're right. Thank you, thank you, thank you. But like for real. I'm so tired. I'm tired. You are not codependent. I am not codependent. I've never met a person who is codependent because that's baloney. It's not, it's not a personality, it's a survival skill. And you were a frigging brilliant little kiddo for figuring that out.

Speaker 2:

And we need to celebrate you. I want to repeat what you just said. It is not a personality, it is a survival skill. Exactly. That is so true. I feel that in my body, I see it all the time. It is us surviving, getting through all of the to-do list of the uh just life.

Speaker:

Yeah. Just life. Just life. And it's what happens when we grow up in families where generations of people, but particularly our mothers, right? Because like your mother and mine couldn't get a credit card in their own name in the US in 1973. That's right. I mean, right? And we're unfortunately headed back that way these days. But um yeah, so we've had generations of women who grew up subjugate to men, doing their best to friggin' get by. No wonder this is how we were taught to be: to be small, play small, to be responsible for other people's emotions, right? To not relax if someone's upset, to constantly feel compelled to like fix everything, make sure everything is perfect for everyone else, to apologize constantly, to avoid conflict, to feel resentful, um, to not express our feel. I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry about it. I'm totally fine. How are you? Yeah, let's talk about you.

Speaker 2:

How are you, huh? Right. I want to tell you something that I just noticed last year when I would have people over at my house. I'm like obviously a designer by trade, but you know, and I am an organized freak, but I would spend a lot of time getting the house ready, the food ready, and whatever time I had left over, I'd do my hair or makeup, whatever. Yeah. Because I thought it was more important for the the guest and the house to look good than me. Yeah. And I didn't even notice that I've been doing this for 20-something years until like last year. And it's just like, wow. I think I was, I just saw my grandmother doing that all of my life and my mom doing that all of my life. And and then I thought, where does this actually also translate in my life? Forget about the party in just every day. And I realized as much as I want to say that I'm a badass, independent woman, I do it all day long and every day in small microwaves.

Speaker:

Right. And so then the question is my point of view is not, oh, God, there is something wrong with you. Because who does that serve? That just jacks your nervous system. You're in sympathetic activation, you're running from lions, your cortisol's a hot mess. That's not good for you, and it gets us nowhere. Instead, from the assumption that you were born and currently are completely freaking perfect and good and worthy of love and safety and care, I'd ask, what unmet need is being served there? Yeah. Right? Because you're way too smart to do something dumb.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So let's yeah, it the the unmet need would have been to be looked at as like a perfect, like a perfection. Like she's perfect, the house is perfect, it's so clean, it smells so good in here that the the charcuterie plate's perfect.

Speaker:

She's perfect. Yeah. Beyond reproach. Right. Because that's often if we grew up in a household where we were either overtly or covertly criticized, negated, right? If there was, if we were never good enough, either at home or in the patriarchy white settler colonialism and late stage capitalism, which we are all subject to, particularly as women. Yep. Right? Our bodies are our bodies are terrible and disgusting. Way too fat unless they're way too skinny, way too muscular unless they're way too weak, right? But never, they're never something that's okay or good or good enough. And so, of course, we're sitting here thinking, I'm not okay as I am. Let me put all possible shades of lipstick on everything so that no one will come for me for my actual authentic self. They'll just be looking at the charcuterie board and the fancy dress and the m napkins that match the whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker:

It's pretty genius, actually. It's true. It's true. Yeah. It doesn't serve us, but it's genius.

Speaker 2:

I I know a lot of women that are listening now and men, hello, men. Hi. We all fall, you know, into this category of wanting, you know, to take care of the people that we love, especially especially our immediate family. And there's only so many hours in the day. And then, and then you hear the 90-second clips on TikTok and Instagram of, you know, create the boundaries, you know, you know, put yourself first. And you're like, okay, I'm gonna try this on tomorrow. So the tomorrow rolls around, you create the boundary, and everybody in your life is like, oh no, no, no, no, girl, you've been doing that for me for 10 years. You're not gonna stop now. And then you feel bad. So somatically, how do you work with somebody who starts feeling that pressure? Like, what are some steps somebody can take when they do feel that uncomfortableness?

Speaker:

Yeah. So we got to back way up, like way up. So the first thing you do isn't set a boundary with a boomer. That's like that is we're gonna wait. No boomer boundaries. Listen, listen. So we're gonna back this bus way up, and we're gonna start with interoception. Okay, tell me. Interoception is a term from Dr. Stephen Porge's PhD. Um, and it's all about feeling our own needs in our body, is the sort of colloquial explanation of it. Um, when we've spent our whole life oriented to others, not oriented internally, we become hyper-attuned to their emotions, walking on eggshells, anticipating their needs before they're spoken, and your nervous system wires itself to prioritize external safety over internal stability to the point where you don't feel your own needs. So, perfect example, my darling. How many times have you said, let me finish this spreadsheet and then I'll pee? A lot. Yeah, a lot. All of us have. I'm not no judges, but just like, come on.

Speaker 2:

Or or even better, I'm not gonna drink a lot of water because I have so many spreadsheets.

Speaker:

Right. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I'll eat later, it's fine. Right? Let me take care of them and then I'll eat. Yep. Let me write do this and then I'll rest. I serve everyone before I serve myself. 100%. 100%. Right. And so we do that so lot much for so long that we actually meld in a way with the people around us, and we step into the role confusion that is like really at the core of emotional outsourcing. I don't know where you and I begin and end. And taking care of you becomes the core of my own identity.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah. And that that feels good. And as much as it's probably hurting our cortisol and all that, if there's a part of it that there's a reward.

Speaker:

Of course. Of course. Until that person moves on or goes to college or you get divorced, or they're just having a lousy day. And because your entire sense of self is determined by how they respond to you, then all of a sudden you're having a lousy day.

Speaker 2:

Holy moly. Okay, the woman listening to this who's in this situation where she feels this so deep in her soul that she puts all of her worth to her partner and if they have kids, and all of a sudden it's just not working anymore. And she's exhausted and resentful and just miserable. Now what?

Speaker:

She's got to get back in her body.

Speaker 2:

What does that look like?

Speaker:

Yes. So we're gonna start with three times a day, setting a reminder on your phone, something you'll see that reminds you to stop and ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? And your brain might go, uh I don't know. Or you might feel this incredible urge to grab your phone and start doom scrolling, or all of a sudden you might need a cookie, right? Like your old survival habits will come rearing to the fore when you do this. And so we need to pinky promise here and now on this podcast that you're not gonna be a meanie pants to yourself. You're not gonna be another person treating you like crap, but instead, you're gonna expect your brain and your body to go, oh my God, what? No. No. And that's okay. We are asking these questions not to get the answers. The answer's not really that important. At 3:42 p.m. on a Wednesday, you're feeling a little sad or like a little bit angry. It's the point's not that. The point is for you to experience you as the person who asks you.

Speaker 2:

Do you see what that's doing? I didn't know. See, when you first were like, okay, ask, and then I'll come up with. So let's say I feel overwhelmed. Well, then I'll come up with a solution. Is that the reason? But you're like, no, no, no. The reason is just to check in with yourself. Yes. Got it. Okay.

Speaker:

Yes. So then once that feels a little more comfortable, and it's it for many of us, it'll feel uncomfortable for years. Okay, cool. Once it feels a little more comfortable, scan your body. Where is their tension? Where is their ease? What sensations are present in the body? Again, if you've never done this and it feels really frickin' weird, okay. That's what I'm expecting. I'm not expecting the average bear who's been outsourcing really hard to be like, I'm feeling the anger in my belly, and it's like maroon. You know what I mean? Like that's advanced. Nobody expects you to do that. Yeah. Be gentle. Can you tell that I work with people who are really, really mean to themselves?

Speaker 2:

I mean, like in one way or another, we kind of are.

Speaker:

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And so here's this other vital part. Whatever you notice, do one small thing that honors the sensation in you. So if your shoulders feel tight, roll them out a little. If your chest feels constricted because you're so angry and you're trying not to punch someone at the PTA meeting, put a hand on your chest. Listen, I mean, it's a lot, right? Rub your little chest, breathe into your hand. It doesn't matter if you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, shake your hands. Should stand up and shake your whole body. Excuse yourself to the bathroom at work and do a full body shake. The point is.

Speaker 2:

In the stall, guys, in the stall. You don't need, you know, somebody from HR walking in. Oh, you're start talking.

Speaker:

Right. I'm getting people fired left and right, which frankly may be what they need, but that's a whole other conversation. Um, so the more you practice noticing yourself without judgment, the stronger your internal reference point becomes, which helps you remember that you are and can again be the center of your own frigging universe. And that's what we need. Okay.

unknown:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Wait, but you said three things. So what am I feeling? Sensation and then honoring. Oh, the honoring.

Speaker:

That was the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And the honoring's really important, right? Because we need our body to recognize that this isn't just about the brain. This isn't just more thinky thinky work that doesn't actually resonate into being more present in your body, which is vital. So you you asked, you know, you're the woman who's been putting herself last and you want to start saying no, where do we start? We start with this. So then your body knows that you've got your own back. So down the road, when you set that boundary, I hear you that you're upset that I'm no longer available to do X, Y, Z for you. I love you so much. And I've been feeling resentful of you, and that's not kind. Good, healthy boundaries are resentment prevention. I only want to feel love towards you. So I'm gonna ask you if I'm eating dinner and you are eight years old or 18 years old or 56 years old, you can get up and get that from the fridge yourself. Okay. Um just saying.

Speaker 2:

Let's roll play. But then the person says, What do you mean you've been resentful? Why do you tell me?

Speaker:

That's rude. I hear you. And if I'd had the skills to tell you earlier, I would have. I, you know, it would have been really great if I could have, huh? But I didn't really recognize it. And um, I recognize it now. So I'm telling you with all the love in my heart that I only want to feel kind things towards you. So this, this, and this will be different from now on. Okay. But you're right.

Speaker 2:

I wish I'm rolling and I'm already uncomfortable.

Speaker:

You're welcome. Anytime. I'll make you.

Speaker 2:

I just feel like a lot of people are gonna be listening. Like, I feel like it's simple. Just not easy, though. It's simple and powerful.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And we just don't do it enough. We just don't do it enough.

Speaker:

We don't, and we are trained not to. Yeah. We are trained not to. We are trained not to. So we get to retrain our nervous system to feel safe in boundaries.

Speaker 2:

Do you feel like you constantly you personally have boundaries with everyone in your life?

Speaker:

I'll be honest with you, I don't really have people in my life that I need to have boundaries with.

Speaker 2:

Okay, talk. Okay, well, you just congratulations. That's just amazing. I don't, I think that there's a lot of people who maybe have friendships that have expired that are still around, or the mother-in-law that opens up the cabinets, or or even worse, coming into the house without asking. You know, there are people that maybe you have in your life that like not my mother-in-law. So Kathy, if you're listening, I'm not talking about you.

Speaker:

We love you, Kathy. We love you, Kathy. We love you, Kathy. She's great. What a champ.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. But if they have somebody who's just like, you can't get rid of them. You have to have that, like what happens then?

Speaker:

That's when we do need to practice feeling safe in our bodies while setting a boundary. And I want to say the practice in my world starts with safety because rejection, abandonment, and danger spike our nervous system into sympathetic activation, which is that fight or flight alliance coming. Um, and what we get to recognize is that's a nervous system imprint. It's just like a stamp on our RNR nervous system. It's not factual. Right. And so we can really show the nervous system through somatics, body-based practices, that the boundary doesn't mean the end of love.

Speaker 2:

The boundary does not mean the end of love.

Speaker:

Nope. That's right. It doesn't have to, and it might actually with some people, but wow, isn't that great information to have? Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. I think if somebody has a major pro problem with your boundary, like to the point that it's ruining your relationship, that needs to just be acknowledged. 100%.

Speaker:

Because the people who love you, really love you, want you to be happy. Yeah. Because again, boundaries are resentment prevention. Yes. Right. And boundaries. So I teach that boundaries are always in the mathematical framework of if you do X, I will do Y. Yeah. So it's never about me even attempting to control you how you feel, what you do, what you think, because that's not my business. I'm not involved in that. But I'm, if you raise your voice at me, I will leave the conversation. I'm not available to be yelled at, not having it, not interesting. Made a that's true. That's true. I mean, we Argentines are known for a good yell too. But uh no, I get it. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The disrespect. It's the disrespect. It's the tone of disrespect, is what I'm not available for. We yell with love. That's different. Yeah. And I think that's important. Yelling versus yelling at. Like I swear like a drunken sailor. I'm an Argentine New Yorker, right? But I will not be sworn at. Right.

Speaker 2:

Right, right. Right. I get it. No, I get the difference. No, I know you still. And so obviously the book's out for everyone. It's end emotional outsourcing. It was out in September, which means by the time you're listening to this, which is next week, um, it's already out. Your website too, people can find. But let's say somebody's listening to this, they've they're they've ordered the book, it's not here yet. They want to start working on this immediately. Is there like, what do you do on a daily practice? Is it meditation? Is it journaling? What exercises do you recommend for people?

Speaker:

Yeah. So once you've ordered your copy, if you go to my website, Beatriz, B-E-A-T-R-I-Z, Albina.com slash book, you can order the book there from the retailer of your choice. And you can download a whole suite of journaling exercises. There's an audio meditation you can download for free just to say thank you for supporting a first time author. It's every single order is a really big deal for a new author. It helps the book get into public libraries. Um guys, if you're listening,

Speaker 2:

I it's such a because I just finished my first book. It's not out yet, but it I didn't realize how important the odd like so any support you can give. And if you're interested in this, please do buy the book because it really matters. But go ahead. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker:

Yeah. Do you know that that particularly pre-orders and early orders help determine whether the book ends up in public libraries or not?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Which is so bananas. I wrote the book so that it would end up in, you know, get to libraries and get translated, because like our moms need this, but um so um daily practices, I've got you on that. I've got lots of free things you can download um right on my website because, you know, some people love a guided meditation, some nervous systems don't, right? If you've been frozen, checked out, not present, it might be really hard to tap into. And journaling could be a great way for you to come back to yourself. And so I have lots and lots of journal exercises. There's also a ton in the book itself at the end of every single chapter.

Speaker 2:

When you said like meditation could be really hard for somebody, I have noticed too. Um, have you noticed that with your clients that people like the meditation is scary because of the calming down? Like when you are in your head, you're like, I don't want to be there.

unknown:

Oh yeah.

Speaker:

Oh yeah. Especially people in with depression or anxiety going on. It's it's a really scary thing to be present with all that noise. Yeah. Yeah. And so movement is often the place I take, folks. So in my programs and with my clients, I offer breathwork meditation uh at least once a month. And then every other week we have a dance party. Oh, I think that's a good idea. And this is it's amazing. I like worst/slash best of the 80s and 90s.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I want to come.

Speaker:

Come anytime. It would be a delight to have you.

Speaker 2:

So people can go on like Zoom.

Speaker:

Yeah, I mean, the people in my programs, yeah. They come to Zoom and we dance for an hour, half hour, an hour. You can come for a song or two on your lunch break or in an evening. It's it's a delight and it's a way to get back into your body that's really non-threatening. Because like what Gloria Stefan do to you? Hello. Who does Stefan? Fools. Fools. That's the only possible answer. Fools. Amen. So I rarely judge. That's my whole thing. I am compassionate and loving. But if you don't like Gloria, we don't need to talk. We don't need to talk.

Speaker 2:

You know, I love her because she's Cuban.

Speaker:

Listen, and she's perfection. I know.

Speaker 2:

I am so grateful for you. I, if you're listening, I as always will have all of the information on the notes, um, including websites, the all of the meditations, the journaling prompts. Um, thank you so much. I feel like this is really important. The somatic part of connecting to yourself, I have to be honest, I don't do very much because I'm too busy. So, and then what ends up happening is what you were saying, I get stomach aches, I get headaches. And it is the connection to yourself and and and just the few minutes a day, I think is so important.

Speaker:

It's so important, and it really doesn't take much. Like that's the thing, you know, like the three-step thing I was recommending that can take 20 seconds three times a day. There's no excuse not to do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it it's a good safe place to start that is unlikely to freak most nervous systems out. Yeah. So I recommend it.

Speaker 2:

And I love that you're giving everyone options, like if meditation's too much, the journaling, blah, blah, blah. So there's any way to connect, reconnect with you. Again, the book is end emotional outsourcing. Show the book. Isn't she pretty? It is very pretty. I actually love that uh cover. It's so emotional, like it's so modern and beautifully designed, colorful. It's right up my alley. Um, Bea, thank you so much. I appreciate you. Thank you so much. If you're listening to this, please rate and review. Please do support Bea with her book. I'm sure you can get out on Kindle too if you want it. Yeah, for sure. And I narrated the audiobook.

Speaker:

Oh, great. How fun is that?

Speaker 2:

And you've got a great voice, too. Okay, I'll thank you again. Everyone, connect with her, and I'll see you next time.