Square One Show: with Dave & Jess

A Story and a Point. Finding Your Purpose with Andy Kerr

November 26, 2019 David & Jessica Lewis
Square One Show: with Dave & Jess
A Story and a Point. Finding Your Purpose with Andy Kerr
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Show Notes Transcript

Andy Kerr is a business & life coach, chaplain of the Erie City Mission, real estate entrepreneur and all around great guy. His humorous way of telling stories will keep you engaged and help you discover a point or the deeper truth behind the story.

Andy shares two insightful stories with us on this episode - enjoy!

From Andy: "I love stories!  It always inspires me to see the hero of the story fight through impossible odds, gain the skills needed to defeat the enemy and achieve the life he or she has always wanted. I want to help create the event, the team, the business and the life you are dreaming of."

Connect with Andy: AndyKerrCoaching.com
Connect via Andy's facebook page
Get Andy's new book:  A Story and a Point via Amazon

Connect with Dave & Jessica!
To be inspired by more stories, to book us on your next podcast or to inquire about being a guest, find us at SquareOneShow.com - thanks for listening!
jessica@squareoneshow.com

Support the show

Find all the episodes at: www.SquareOneShow.com

Have a question? Send it to jessica@squareoneshow.com

Need a voiceover? Jessica's Voiceover site www.JessicaLewisVoice.com

Thanks for listening!!

Speaker 1:

So I kind of take this story and a point thing into coaching and like tell me your story and let's work together to find your point in a sense, your purpose, how are we beginning to see things connecting and really getting to the root of, okay. What is it about certain things that you did right,

Speaker 2:

connect with or didn't connect with and why? This is the square one show. Well, Hey, we have Andy Kerr with us again today. Hey Andy, how are ya? I'm doing fantastic. Thank you. Am I go hosts Dave. Hey. Hi Dave. Hello Andy. Andrew. Andrew. So Andy, we had you on the show quite a few episodes ago at this point. Know first guests actually. So, Oh really? You actually recorded in our studio when we lived in Edinburgh? Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Uh, yes. Yes. That was a, that was a few months ago.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Time's a lot. Yeah. So I think at that point we had talked about your coaching business and how you got into coaching. Um, you're a John Maxwell team coach. You're also the chaplain at the Erie city mission. Yeah, keep going. You're also,

Speaker 1:

so I also have a, uh, real estate, uh, property, a rental property business with a friend,

Speaker 2:

which that's new since we've chatted.

Speaker 1:

Uh huh. So, and I don't know, I think we had, we were doing it, we just didn't talk about it because it was pretty new. Yeah. Uh, but we have, uh, 15 units building. It's a very tiny empire, but, uh, it all kind of stems around the same, uh, idea and purpose for which I feel like I'm here, uh, in my city to, to accomplish. And it has to do with helping people come out of poverty, uh, and, uh, making an impact on our city and its economy. And so this is about the rental property business is about providing safe, affordable housing for people that want to do something great with their lives. Yeah. That's awesome. Don't y'all say provide some job opportunities too with that as well? Right. Uh, we have, yes, we do. Uh, and we're trying to work with, we have individuals that come out of our program at the Erie city mission, our new life program as an addiction recovery program. And, uh, a lot of the services that, um, we use as far as, uh, construction electric, uh, HPAC, uh, our guys that have, uh, done those things in the past, uh, and then stop doing them because of their addiction and have started back into those businesses, uh, in recovery and are doing fantastic and we're using them, uh, as part of our workforce to help us do what we're doing.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. So, Andy, what I've always appreciated

Speaker 1:

about you is you've always just figured things out as you go, right? You kind of dive in and you connect with people. And I know at one point you really struggled with, okay, what is, what is my life? What am I doing right? So can you take us kind of back a little bit and talk about how did you get to where you are now when you are full of purpose and you're not only doing one thing that achieves your purpose, you're doing like multiple things. So I'm doing multiple things, but they don't necessarily all point to one purpose. You know, I'm still figuring that out. So how can you help someone listening? Um, how would you walk them through, okay, how do I find my purpose and then how do I align my goals to meet that purpose? Uh, you know, it is a, it is a process and it's been a long a process for me. And I think it's a lifelong process if you want to become more purposeful. Uh, and you have a lot of varying interests. You know, I always talk about the fact that I struggle with attention deficit, but I think we live in a sort of a, you know, an add culture in a sense that there's so many things to choose from and so many good options out there that are interesting. And if you're a normal human being, you're probably interested in more than one specific thing. And, you know, there's, do they connect, you know, just because we're interested in it, should it be something we do. So when I started at, at the mission, uh, as chaplain, um, I came there specifically because I was getting more clear on my purpose. And that happened by me hiring a life coach. 2011, 2012, a guy named Dave craft, phenomenal dude. Uh, and like, he is about to turn 80 years old and the guy is, uh, just amazing. He is sharp as attack and he is brilliant and he's kind of tough on me. So that's probably, yes, probably. Oh, no, no. Gosh, uh, I am thinking about, I was like Dave[inaudible], he was, he's writing a book, another book. It's a leader on his last lap. And I was like, Dave, that's sad. Well, he's like, I'm 80.

Speaker 2:

Let's face the reality here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. I said, well, you can't go yet. I still need you. So it was a process of getting clear on wanting to make an impact in the issues of poverty in the city of Erie, Pennsylvania, uh, where I lived. Uh, we actually then moved to URI from a neighboring town, and as I came to the mission, I realized a little bit more what it took to make an impact. So I went part time at the mission, uh, to start my leadership development business. Because if you want to impact a city, you have to impact the leaders. Uh, and so I kind of kept one foot in working with people in poverty and stepped out to help people, uh, that are in leadership that can have an impact. And then we started the rental property business as one more piece of the focus. So my, I think it's a process you have to figure it out, but you have to be intentional about getting rid of things that don't move you towards the purpose. And I, I mean, I've had a lot of advice and a lot of encouragement from other people. You're doing too many things. I don't know if you guys have ever heard that.

Speaker 3:

No. We may have told you that before. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

Uh, and uh, it was true. I mean, I put on, I put all the things I was doing on little cards and put them up on a board and I looked at it and I said, that's the reduction

Speaker 3:

killer. How am I doing this? Well, I'm a machine.

Speaker 1:

Yes. Uh, right, right. They clumsy machine that doesn't work at complicating anything. Right. Which is a really poor machine if you've ever had one broken machine. Yes, yes. So I[inaudible] one end, one specific example. I started a community garden, uh, for the city mission, a great idea. Three o'clock in the morning, saw a Ted talk on community gardens and, and said, I'm going to do that. And then I did it and I had a group of people and we got the plot of ground for a dollar from the city. Uh, it was awesome. We, we made, uh, raised beds. We've got all this stuff. We got a shed donated and all the tools and we did it. And then, uh, everybody disappeared. And then I was doing it. Uh, and I suck at gardening. So, and I don't like it. I like the idea of people having food that they need. And so the mission ended up giving the garden, uh, away to an organization called the sisters of Saint Joseph in Erie who are amazing at community gardening. Uh, and no longer did I have to do that. And now the garden is amazing. There's whole neighborhoods involved. Uh, it looks amazing. It produce food for everybody that has pitched in and it looks fantastic and that, and it got better because I decided that I'm not good at it. That and I need to give it away. I'm good at, I'm good at starting things.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And it also wouldn't have started if you hadn't taken that initiative to though. Right. So it's not necessarily a failure, you still initiated it, but you delegated it I guess by default. Absolutely. Yeah. Don't they have more than one now too? Like this idea grew and multiply.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And well, and they had more to begin with. Um, and they've had more sense. Um, and they, yeah, they definitely took it to a next level and that and see that whole experience. I, I've got this, you know, this, uh, competing, uh, understanding of how you find your purpose. And one of them is trying stuff to see if you like it, if it makes sense and it, you find value in it and, and you're good at it. And so you have to try stuff, but then you have to quit stuff in order to figure out, quit the bad stuff. And keep the good stuff. And so that's been my whole process in my life. That's how I learn. That's how, like I'd try a bunch of stuff, but you have to stop doing some things in order to keep doing the right things. And that I've had to be very intentional about unloading stuff so that I could get better at the things that I was going to keep. And that's an example and I'm good at starting things. So I don't mind getting a team together, getting things and making it happen and then giving it away.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. But the sustainability part is really challenging. Yeah. Right. So

Speaker 1:

there's a great book by Seth Godin called the dip. And the dip is exactly that. How do you stick with things when they get, when you start it and it starts to get a little worse? Um, people usually give up before the return comes, but some people get stuck in what they called a call to sack, which is where you're just keep doing the same thing over and over and again, and it's not getting any better and you're just stuck in that pattern. And it feels very similar to a dip, but the outcomes are very different and you have to decide what to quit and what to, you know, sustain.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. That's awesome. Great. Great little book. Yeah. And one of those things that you started and, or have done in the past is he started a, I guess a video series called story and a point and then you just recently turned that into a book. So tell us a little bit about that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, and you guys know, because we have some history, but I, I don't feel like I'm very creative in how I name things and, uh, I just call them what they are. And, uh, I was trying to think of like, I wanted to start putting out these stories that I used, that I have used in talks and leadership talks. And when I was doing sermons and they're just stories from my life that I've used to make a point. And I, I thought, well, what should I call these videos? And so I just called it a story and a point a because that's what it was. And, uh, I, enough of them that my wife was telling me you should make these into a book. Uh, and she came up with the, the subtitle of the book finding meaning in everyday life and, uh, which is, uh, yeah, and it's, it perfectly describes what we were trying to do with the book and it's a collection of 12 stories with a 0.2 each and it's been fun. You know, I wrote it with, uh, our friend Paul McCaw SCO, uh, who is a fantastic writer and helped me turn the video content into a readable version of each of the stories.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Paul is multitalented he's editing the show too actually, and we're going to have Paul on the show.

Speaker 1:

Oh, great. As well. So we're looking for, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it was, so, you know, he, we did a lot of work together. Uh, he was, uh, we were kind of partners in, in ministry and then, uh, he and his family moved to Texas and we stayed in Pennsylvania. And it's been a great way for us to stay connected. Uh, you know, doing work with people you love to work with is super important in life. Uh, as far as happiness and meaning and purpose goes. Um, and Paul is one of those people. We just have a blast. And so it's, it was, it's been a great project to do together and stay connected even though we're far apart.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Well, Andy, can you, is there a certain story that sticks out to you that you can tell?

Speaker 1:

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Uh, so a lot of the different stories in the book, uh, you know, have, have, uh, touched me in different ways and, and helped. And sometimes I'll use the same story with different, a different point. But then the one that stands out to me right now, cause I was just looking at it, uh, prior to jumping on this with you, is the story about the spider and the title is a spider and forgiveness. And I was in my garage one day and in our region of the world, there aren't spiders that are very big. At least I didn't think so. Uh, and when I went out in my garage, the one day I saw this spider that was so huge, like it looked misplaced and it was sitting in the middle of our garage and it was alive and it was crawling and it was massive, like scary, massive. And I thought to myself for a second, I, I, I should step on it. But then I thought it was, it was so big that if I stepped on it, it would just S like squish and splat everywhere and that it would, maybe I would slip in it and it would be really bad. So yeah. So I went inside and I thought, I'm going to trap this thing. And I went inside and got one of those ice cream containers that are clear plastic. I forget the name of the kind of ice cream it is. Uh, but it has a screw on top, which I thought was very important. And I went in and grabbed it and my wife is like, Hey, what are you doing? I was like, ah, nothing. I don't want to tell you. Because if you knew what was in our garage, we would move. So I, I, I took this thing and I put it over top of the spider and it jumped and like hit the top, like jumped at me as though it was trying and I, yes. And I almost, I almost peed. So like I hate spiders. I really liked ice cream. Maybe, maybe it was mad that there was nothing. So I, you know, I did the thing where I get the piece of paper and slide it under and turn it over and then get the lid on it and I'm looking at this thing and it's taking up the entire bottom of this container and it just looks nasty and mean. And I'm like, what the heck is this spider? It did not think that they existed. So I happened to live by the Erie zoo and uh, you know, so I thought, well maybe it escaped of course. So, uh, as any normal human being would do, I took it there, I went down there and I'm like, maybe they can identify this thing with me and put it back in its cage. Cause it's ridiculously big. And, uh, I went down there and I, you know, I, I pulled out, so I could tell it was a big stir, right? Cause there's, at this time, there's nothing going on in the zoo. It's in the middle of the day. Nobody's there. Right? Everybody's sleeping. Even like some of the workers and the, the kids at the checkin station, they're like, Oh my gosh, that's crazy. And so they get, they get one of the people, uh, like the zookeeper, whatever, and bring them out and they say it's a Wolf spider and they're common in this area. I'm like, there are more of these and they're coming after you. And I was like, well, maybe you could take it. So like they took it for me. Um, and I was, I was thinking about the, this idea in the point of this story became the fact that sometimes there are, are things in our lives that we don't expect that creep into our lives. And, um, and if you find it, if you become aware of it, it's important to remove it. And, and oftentimes it, you know, it's things like, uh, hurts or resentments. Unforgiveness is what I focused on in this story, uh, because if you don't, it will multiply and it will grow. And I was thinking about this spider and I, there's no way I would ever want that thing to multiply in my house. And that is a star. That's the beginning of like a horror movie. And if we let them linger, they will multiply. And so things like resentments and in unforgiveness in your life, if you do not do something about it, it will grow. It will multiply and you will have your own version of a horror movie in your life. Take it, deal with it, uh, forgive, uh, and keep the small things small and life works better. And that goes for work. It goes for marriages, it goes for family relationships, uh, every aspect of your life to take those as soon as you're aware of them and remove them and get rid of them and get them out of your life.

Speaker 2:

I love it. Thanks Sandy for sharing the story. That's,

Speaker 1:

yeah.

Speaker 2:

Awesome. And I never want to see a Wolf spider.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh. Yeah. I don't want to see another one. No, no, thank you. I want to see it. You didn't take any, did you? Absolutely. I will send one to you. I have one. Yeah, it, it's super creepy.

Speaker 2:

The boys are like that. So Andy, how did you come to this conclusion about, um, the leadership that you've been through and all the teaching and preaching that you've done in helping people. Where do you think that stems from?

Speaker 1:

Where do you think you get that? Yeah, well, you know, I think it comes from my, my family. I, you know, I was contemplating this because, um, I, I found out when I, when I told my mom that I was going to be the chaplain at the Erie city mission Erie city mission, she started to tear up and this, her story, his, her story is that way back when she was six years old, her aunt was bringing her to that city mission. Her aunt did like, uh, piano songs and stuff. That lunchtime when they served the free lunch to people that were struggling in poverty and the message was given. And my mom said she responded to the preacher's message like every time she was there at age six. And then as an adult when we were kids, she volunteered at the Erie city mission. And my mom has always been, uh, somebody that wanted to help to give back, to serve, uh, and to share, you know, her love with other people and it's kind of built in and kind of modeled to me. And you know, when I decided I wanted to, uh, go from teaching and then into ministry, then into coaching, that same desire to help people, help them find their purpose, help people to become everything that they were created to be, uh, has, has been with me for a long time. And I attribute that to, uh, both of my parents. Um, my mom's specifically in the area of, you know, serving and helping those that are struggling in poverty. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And it's interesting cause I think you hear a lot of these stories working at this Erie city mission and being a pastor, I'm doing leadership training one-on-one with people. You hear all of their stories, right. So I think if you have time to tell one more quick story, one of my favorite stories that you tell is, um, when you guys lived in Edinburgh and it was winter and you were driving,

Speaker 1:

Oh yes, yes, yes I do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And I love that because it ties into the purpose.

Speaker 1:

[inaudible][inaudible] in this story, uh, was early on in, in our ministry, I was, we had just bought our house. It was 17 degrees out in which it's pretty cold in Edinboro, Pennsylvania, which is like in right in that snowbelt. Uh, there's about a foot of snow on the ground. It was late at night. I took a friend home, he was helping us remodel, you know, repaint our house and everything. And, uh, it was about one in the morning and I was taking him back way home and uh, came across this bridge and thought I saw something, but you know, it was late and I was fairly delirious. So I just kept driving, uh, got to the stop sign and really felt like, uh, if ever I could describe God telling me to do something, it was turn around and go back. And I decided to pay attention to that and turned around. And when I got back to the bridge, there was, uh, a guy laying in the snow. He was, uh, there, uh, I don't know how long you had been there. I at the time was driving the smart car of the 90s, the geo Metro, uh, and uh, becomes important in the story because when I get out in and talk to the guy, he turns out to be like six, four, six, five, so a hard time getting in my car. But when I said, Hey, are you okay? He said, just leave me alone. And you know, I wasn't going to leave this gentleman out there. And I walked over and stuck out my hand and, uh, he was pretty upset with me because he wanted to be left alone. Uh, and he realized I wasn't going to leave. Uh, so he got in my car and we started driving. He told me where he lived and I, I said, Hey, you know, I don't know what you'd think about this, but I really feel like God told me to turn around and come back. And when I did, that's when I found you. And he bursted in into tears this college, uh, which kind of took me off guard and I was like, man, what is going on? And he said, well, I started drinking tonight to get drunk enough to kill myself.

Speaker 4:

Hmm.

Speaker 1:

And I said,[inaudible], he said, I came out here to lay down in front of a car to do it, and your car was going to be that car. Yeah. And one of the first things that went through my mind was, well, geo Metro would never kill you. Uh, but I did. I didn't say that didn't seem appropriate at the time. Uh, and, uh, I said, well, can you tell me what's going on in your life? That, so we got to his house. He told me that he wanted to, he was an animation major and he wanted to do work for veggie tales for big idea productions. And I was like, man, that's awesome. And that's like pretty high goal. And he told me about his family history and where it was at and the broken relationship that he experienced and why he was kind of in the tank emotionally. And that was just, you know, realize it's something like a divine meeting had happened and I got to be part of it. And, and we became friends and I was like, Hey, you want to come to church with me tomorrow? Do you have time? And he said, well, I do now. And, and we started hanging out. He got involved with a group and that really helped him, uh, reconnect with who he was. And he kept in his, finished up his degree and in animation. And later that year, I get a call from one of the animation professors was a friend of mine. And he said, this kid, uh, is winning an international award. He's winning the Chuck Jones award. And I was like, Oh my gosh, who is Chuck Jones? And, uh, he was like, it Chuck Jones, the creator of bugs bunny. He kind of said it like, you idiot, but it, yeah, he didn't. Yeah, I know. So, you know, heck, I, uh, and I was like that. And I love bugs bunny. I was always been a man. Um, and he said, we're going to give him this award and they have awards banquet. I want you to come. And so I went and, uh, you know, I see this kid there and he's like, no, the news is here. That's weird. You know, like he doesn't know what's going on. He, they present them with this award and they get Chuck Jones on the phone and this Chuck Jones talks to this kid and you know, he, this kid obviously knows who Chuck Jones is and he's like freaking out. Uh, and it was so awesome. And then they started reading these job offers from different companies in animation and one was Pixar and one was Dreamworks. And one was Disney. And one of the job offers was from big idea of, uh, the creators of VeggieTales. And two weeks later, this kid speaks with the vice president of VeggieTales from a big idea. And they, uh, they give him a job and he has innovation work and a lot of their, uh, videos, including their full length feature film, Jonah, uh, which when it came to our area, he got to present his talk about his work before they showed the movie at the movie theater. So it was really cool. Uh, and he went on to work for, uh, Jimmy neutron and he has animation work and in, uh, a box trolls in Cora and co Coraline, uh, which were, we're big kid. So, I mean, just the, the thread of, of purpose that, you know, when somebody's created for something and, and realize, realizes that and puts the work in and then, you know, pursues that passion, you know, and then how important it is for us, uh, in, in the process to intersect people because we have something to offer. You know, and I was a small part of that whole process, but, uh, you know, I got to go out and, and get a tour. He gave me a tour of the big idea of production studios in Chicago, uh, when he was working there. So it was really cool.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's fascinating. I know, you know, a lot of our listeners I think are along this line of, okay, think I need to be doing something next. I'm not sure what the next step is. I'm not sure how to step out. I'm kind of scared or I have stepped out and I'm still scared. So, you know what, being a coach, I know that you guys ask a lot of questions. You don't necessarily give answers. So what kind of questions would you be asking if you're at that point?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, you know, I would go back a little bit with them and say, well, talk to me about, you know, what is it that you love doing? Like what, uh, you know, so, so give me some of those and talk to me about what you've done in the past that has, that you've really connected with and found value in and what are the things that you've always wanted to do and in that kind of helps me set up, uh, you know, you know, sort of a timeline. So I kind of take this story and a point thing into coaching and like, tell me your story and let's work together to find your point in a sense, your purpose. Um, how, how are we beginning to see things connecting and really getting to the root of, okay, what is it about certain things that you did connect with or didn't connect with and why? And it really begin to investigate together. All right, well, what does mean for what you're doing now? Because sometimes the things that are keeping us stuck in our story, uh, aren't apparent until, you know, we get some outside help to kind of shift it, change our perspective, ask us questions that we hadn't thought of yet, and start to peel away some of those layers so we can see reality for what it is. And it, you know, you might be doing the right thing, but you're in the wrong job within the right industry or you know, you might be right where you need to be. You just need to, you know, uh, keep pushing and, and it'll, you're on the right path and you're doing the right thing. It's just hard right now. So like sometimes people just need encouragement. They get down on themselves or, um, some, sometimes it's like, I believe in the person and they have to borrow my belief in them to get them through this awkward stage, you know? Right.

Speaker 3:

Like your animation friend for sure. Yeah. Yeah. The outside perspective is so huge. You just get that tunnel vision sometimes and, and you start telling yourself, uh, a false story about yourself and your circumstances. And so we need people like you or others to speak in truth to the story or different perspective to the story, I guess.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And that's like, uh, it sometimes your mind, depending on how you think about things, your mind can go to a negative place and start beating yourself up and then you get kind of stuck in that pattern. And sometimes those stop processes, uh, become reality when we, when we stay on them too long. Um, and uh, and then we're, then we confirm our story. Oh, well see it didn't work out when, if you could have interrupted the pattern and started telling yourself a different story, um, you might've had a different outcome. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Andy, thank you so much for your time and your talent and telling these stories. We appreciate it.

Speaker 1:

Well, you guys, I appreciate you so much and helping people tell their story is such a huge thing and you guys do that so well.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. That, I mean, I think that's our passion because we have seen the importance of why people need to discover their story so they can be living it out. And it's not about, it's not about us. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. So, Andy, if someone wanted to connect with you, where are they? Where can they find you?

Speaker 1:

Uh, well, uh, you can go to my website, Andy Kirk, coaching.com. Um, I had a really great designer for that. Um, uh, thanks. Uh, that's all right. Uh, and uh, or uh, Andy Kirk coaching, uh, Facebook page, uh, where you can find a lot of the content and videos, uh, in both places. But, uh, can we set up a discovery session? So can they get the book there or where do they get the book? Oh, uh, you can go to Amazon to get the book. Um, yeah. Amazon go to Amazon. Your local distributing fat factory. No, if you go to Amazon, you can get the book there. Uh, and, and I can send you that link. Cool.

Speaker 2:

Perfect. We'll put that in the show notes too, so people have access to that. Awesome. Awesome. Well, thanks again, Andy. We appreciate your time. Thank you so much guys. All right, that's good. Explore, dream, discover. That's what we're all about here. Sharing people's stories. And engaging with each other. Well, we hope you found this conversation helpful and encouraging. We'd love to keep in touch. We just started a Facebook group where you can connect on a more personal level. It's called the square one lounge. You can find it by going to our website, square one show.com and at the top just Paragon lounge. Thanks to our editor, Paul McCaw SCO. And until next time, this is David and Jessica Lewis. Enjoy your week.