The 1-3-5 Rule: How To Stop Chasing Shiny Objects

In this episode of The ADHD Mom, Jess addresses the common struggle of unfinished projects and constant distraction by new ideas. 

She introduces the 1-3-5 rule: a simple strategy to help ADHD moms focus and complete tasks. Oh - and you can teach your kids this too!

Transcript

Jessica Lewis: 0:00

Hey, A DHD moms. Okay, let me guess. You have 10 half finished projects at home right now. An inbox full of courses you've bought, but uh, never completed. You've started, but they're not completed, and your brain just won't stop chasing new, exciting things. If you're nodding your head right now, don't worry. You're not the only one. And I've got a simple strategy that might help. Hey, this is the A DHD Mom show. I'm Jess, and today we're tackling something. I know way too well that endless chase after shiny objects. Well, if you're listening while folding laundry or you're attacking your kids around, don't worry, I've got a simple strategy you can start using today. First, let's talk about why we chase these shiny objects. We know we do it, but why? Well, our A DHD brains are literally wired to seek novelty. They wanna try something new. They wanna have a unique perspective on things they wanna add color to it. That new project, it gives us a dopamine hit in the new exciting course. Well, it. it promises the solution we have been craving. But here's the truth. Chasing everything means chasing nothing. for today's quick win, for the A DHD Mom, the 1 3 5 rule. One big goal, three action steps and a five minute start. So one big goal, you are gonna choose one main focus for today. Maybe the week, maybe it's a month. Okay. Just one. And you're gonna write it down where you're gonna see that daily. You are gonna create three action steps. So break that big idea, break that big goal into three concrete steps, and make them feel small enough that it's actually doable. And then make it a five minute start. Commit to working on one action step for just five minutes each day. So one big goal, three action steps and make it a five minute start. Either work on the action step for just five minutes a day or make the action steps a five minute start. So it's easy to ease into, because you know, once we start something, we just kind of keep going, right? but here's why that works for our A DHD brains. It gives us clear boundaries as much as we rebel against boundaries and want something new, our brains actually need structure. So this framework gives us clear boundaries. It also makes progress measurable. We get that dopamine hit when we get to cross off that task, right? And it's flexible enough to work with our energy levels. And for me this was huge, realizing that it's okay to have structure and it's okay that the structure is flexible because time is so different in the A DHD brain, some people can work with a really rigid timeline and really rigid structure, and I've tried that and it's really, it's, and it's really difficult for me. So learning that, yes, structure is good, but also flexibility is good, and that's what helps us keep our energy levels in sync instead of timelines. Once I found out that my brain works better on energy management and not time management, I'm able to get a lot of tasks done faster and easier. So now that you know that you need to pick one big thing, how do you do that? How do you pick just one thing? There's a thousand things in your brain right now. Well, here's, here's how I do it. I give myself permission to have all the ideas I want. I can write them down or I can just let them float around in my head. But the main thing is that I give myself permission to have all of those ideas. There's no shame and you don't have to act on all of them. But the challenge is you have to just pick one and that is really hard. So I want you to pause and think of that one thing you really want to focus on. So I'm a visual person and sometimes this is how I approach it. All right? Take a deep breath and then just let the things, all the things swirl around in your head. So imagine all of it's swirling around in your head now, what are the one or two things that either rise to the top or sink to the bottom as all of these ideas are floating around in your head? What's that one thing that rises to the top? Maybe it's a new business idea. Maybe it's a creative project that you wanted to start, or a home organization system that you know that you need to do. Okay? Do you have that one thing in your head right now? All right. Now I want you to break it down into three steps. Write it down, or if you can't and you're driving, let's make a visual in your head. So imagine three giant balloons above you. All right? And the first balloon is step one. Second balloon is step two. The third balloon is. Step three. Right? And imagine what those three steps are. Alright. Were you able to break that one big idea down into those three different steps or those three different balloons? All right. And you're standing there and you're holding your balloons and the step one, two, and three are right above you got that visual. I know it's weird, but visuals and colors, just help me remember and connect it to my brain. So now you have the one big idea and you have three balloons or three steps that you're going to do. That's only gonna take about five minutes to do each step. Or it'll take five minutes to get started on each step. The 1 3 5 roll. All right, so really quick, let's recap. We have the 1 3 5 role. Do you have that one big thing in your head right now? The three steps or the three balloons that are only gonna take five minutes to either complete the task or five minutes to get started into that action step? 1 3 5, roll Give yourself permission to focus on just one thing, and then let that bloom. You're not behind, you're not failing. You're just learning to work with your beautiful, unique brain. So use the 1 3 5 rule today or maybe this week or in your business, and notice how it feels to focus on one thing instead of chasing every shiny object that catches your eye. And hey, let me know how it goes. You can find me@theadhdmom.com. Thanks for listening and share the podcast with another A DHD mom. We're here to encourage and definitely help each other. Until next time, have a beautiful day.