Finding Peace with Your Body with Tamara Newell

In this episode of the Grace Health Podcast, Tamara Newell joins us. She is a writer, holistic health coach, Pilates instructor, and former dancer. Tamara shares her powerful journey from struggling with an eating disorder and body image issues during her ballet career to finding freedom and peace through her relationship with Jesus. She introduces her "Peaceful Body Pyramid" framework and discusses how to approach health and body image from a place of love, acceptance, and faith rather than shame or comparison. 

Key Points Discussed: 

1. Tamara's Background & Journey 

2. The Peaceful Body Pyramid (Six Keys)

3. Body Image Insights

Links

The Peaceful Body Approach

Listen to the first chapter for free

Visit Tamara’s etsy shop for gratitude journal, scripture cards and more.

Connect with Tamara

www.peacefulbodyandbeauty.com

YouTube

Instagram: @tamaranewell_

My latest recommended ways to nourish and move your body, mind and spirit: Nourished Notes Bi-Weekly Newsletter

30+ Non-Gym Ways to Improve Your Health (free download)

Connect with Amy:
GracedHealth.com
Instagram: @GracedHealth
YouTube: @AmyConnell

Transcript

Finding Peace with Your Body

Graced Health Podcast for Christian Women Over 40

Host: Amy Connell

Guest: Tamara Newell

\

Amy Connell: Hey, welcome to the Graced Health Podcast. Today we have Tamara Newell joining us. She's a writer, a holistic health coach, a Pilates instructor, a former dancer, and we're going to hear more about Tamara's story within this conversation today. And I think you're going to really like Tamara's approach to finding peace with her body. Welcome to Graced Health.

Tamara Newell: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

Amy Connell: I'm really glad you're here and I'm excited to talk some about what God has revealed to you about body image and finding peace within your own body. You know, we all walk into spaces with our own story of body image struggles. I have met two women in my life who have said, "I didn't really have an issue growing up." Two.

Tamara Newell: I'm surprised there were two.

Amy Connell: Right?

Tamara Newell: Wow. Yeah.

Amy Connell: I know. I mean, that's a great point because I think we all have one thing or another.

Tamara Newell: Mm-hmm.

Amy Connell: So I think, you know, sadly, but also in a good way for at least this conversation, body image struggles, particularly from our youth, and then how they bleed forward into our adulthood and how we relate to ourselves, to others, to our children—they just carry such weight. And so my community knows that I have struggled with body image stuff in the past and presently. I mean, I did an episode a couple years ago, or maybe it was a year and a half ago, on I've gained weight in perimenopause and what I'm trying to do with it and how I'm combating it. So the struggle is not one and done and ending, but I was wondering if you could share some of your story as it relates to body image and accepting your body and all of that.

Tamara Newell: Yeah. You know, and I think it's interesting because it is something that is a lifelong journey.

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: Mine—I'm also in perimenopause and that is a whole new wave to ride—but mine really began when I was, like you mentioned, I was a dancer, specifically ballet. That world has a very specific aesthetic.

Amy Connell: Yes.

Tamara Newell: It might be changing a little bit from what I understand, but it's still, you know, lean, long.

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: There are some dancers that are really bringing forth more of a strength to it, but for the most part... And so I really had a passion for ballet from when I was really little, before, you know, I became a teenager. And you become a teenager and your body starts changing. And when that started happening, I just started building some unhealthy habits and started really becoming very insecure about how I looked. And then when you combine that with, as a dancer, you're staring at yourself in front of a mirror for hours and hours a day—

Amy Connell: Yes.

Tamara Newell: —in pink tights and a leotard.

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: And it is hard, you know, unless you really, from a young age, are grounded in your identity in Christ and know that your value comes from who He says you are, and not from that. It's very tricky, you know. And so that was really the beginning of really starting to develop an eating disorder, some unhealthy habits. My mind—the thoughts that I had towards myself were so unkind, things I would never say to a friend, but I would say to myself. And then from there, it really, by the time I got to college, I knew I really needed help. Like it was beyond my ability to manage. It was beyond my ability to hide. I really tried hiding it from people because I didn't want—in a way it's like I didn't want to get better because I was afraid. I was afraid I would just gain all this weight if I gave myself over, you know?

Amy Connell: Oh yes.

Tamara Newell: And which was completely not true, you know. And however, you know, I really just lost a complete sense of myself. And I went to college. I was still studying dance in college, but really just was so covered in shame that I couldn't even enjoy dancing anymore. It's so sad. That first year of college, I really started to seek help for myself because I was like, "This is completely out of control." And at that point, I was just really emotionally eating to the point where I would just shut myself in my dorm room for a weekend and just eat and eat. And I was like, I knew I needed help. And so I reached out to the school counselor who referred me to a specific eating disorder clinic. I went to school in New York City and they have a center there. I'm not sure if it's still open, but specifically for that, and I would go once or twice a week for counseling.

And at the same time, I grew up in a religious household. I always had a heart for God. I always wanted to, you know, do right by God.

Amy Connell: Oh, yes.

Tamara Newell: But I really didn't understand really His, the depth of His love for me. I really didn't understand that part. And my sophomore year of college, I went to a different denominational church and I just completely gave my life to Jesus. And that was truly the biggest turning point. And from there there's just so much more to it. But really it was making God the center of my life and allowing Him to show me there's so much more value to who I am and not just how I look in a leotard and tights in a dance studio.

Amy Connell: Right.

Tamara Newell: That was really the beginning of it. Yeah.

Amy Connell: Well, one thing I have to say is, what a gift of the Holy Spirit to prompt you to go get help, because a lot of people do not go on their own to get help, and it's something that will stay for a really long time. You know, that truly is a gift. I grew up dancing and while I did not do—yeah, so I feel like I missed out on the foundation and did not—I think I did ballet like in second grade when it was tap and ballet combined.

Tamara Newell: Sure.

Amy Connell: I transitioned into more competitive dance in middle school and early high school. I did tap and jazz, and of course competitive dance in the late eighties and early nineties was nothing like it is now. But we were still going to conventions, we were still going to the all day, all day, all day competitions, all of that kind of stuff. And I remember coming back from a convention one time—and of course, this is also ages 13, 14, 15, 16, like our bodies are changing. And of course girls can see it on the other side, but girls go out before they go up, and a lot of young men do too. I mean, that's just how God designed our bodies to—

Tamara Newell: Exactly.

Amy Connell: —prepare for the next phase. And I remember going to a convention one time and coming back, and one of the girls in my competitive—I think this was the jazz class—the instructor brought her up and, she said—I don't remember this girl's name, we'll just call her Amber—she said, "Amber did such a brave thing this weekend. She went up to the person whose name the convention was named after and said, 'I really want to make it dancing. What should I do?' And he said, 'You need to lose 10 pounds.'" Right?

Tamara Newell: She probably didn't need to.

Amy Connell: She probably did not need to. I don't remember that at all. And, you know, and just applauded the brave act of doing that. And of course that trickles down—

Tamara Newell: Yeah, to every single girl.

Amy Connell: Should I need to lose 10 pounds? If she needs to lose 10 pounds, then look at me. You know, because I'm looking in the mirror all the time, and I'm not the skinniest person. You know, like I'm kind of a shorter, you know, more muscular. And so it's just—I mean, I'm sitting here 30 plus years later saying, telling you this story, you know—

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: —how much I remember it. So I so resonate with the pressure—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —of dancers—

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: —and what you were in.

Tamara Newell: I mean, I have those moments myself. I was continually, continually told, "You just gotta lose another, another 10 pounds. You know, if a guy's lifting you up, he has to be able to lift you up." Like I was told, like even, you know, "You're not being a good partner if you're gaining weight because it's making it harder for him." You know, like just things like that. And it does carry with you. And I think, you know, it can come from a place of—my goal was to dance professionally. And so my director wanted to help me reach that goal. But, you know, doing it sacrificing your wellbeing and your mental health, it's just—it's so not worth it. But yeah. You know, and I just, I feel for Amber today, you know. But yeah, it's a very real thing. And I, like you said, I think if we were to ask women, if there was something that stuck out to them in those formative years of transitioning from childhood to womanhood, there are things that will probably stick out to them.

Amy Connell: Absolutely.

Tamara Newell: Yeah, just—and, you know, being careful. You know, I have a son and two daughters, and my husband and I both, we try and live a healthy, holistically healthy, balanced life. But I'm always being cautious about how I word why I am going for a walk, you know, why—you know, not to fit an aesthetic, but for, you know, my walks are often my time with God. You know, it's, or stress relief, or I'm lifting weights so I can keep lifting you up, you know?

Amy Connell: Right.

Tamara Newell: And setting that example hopefully, but from a place of wholeness and not trying to change myself. Does that make sense?

Amy Connell: Oh, for sure.

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: Yeah, we've had lots of conversations on the show about that because, like it or not, as moms, we are highly influential in our—

Tamara Newell: Oh yeah. Very.

Amy Connell: —in our daughters' body image. And it's funny, I am prepping for a speaking event where I'm going to be speaking to parents, and you know, the one thing that I—I always have like one simple thing at the end of a talk. And I say, the one thing I want you to remember is your daughters are going to listen more to what you say about yourself—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —than what you do about them or anyone else. And that's hard because we're kind of trained to like, "I'm not enough"—

Tamara Newell: Right.

Amy Connell: —or "too much" or something like that.

Tamara Newell: Yeah. My daughter, who's nine, or she'll be nine next week, she will ask me, "Do you think you're beautiful, Mommy?" Like, she wants to know how I see myself, you know? And so they are looking for that. I mean, she's very vocal about it, but they're wondering like, "How do you feel about yourself?" You know, because that's going to create an effect on how she sees herself. So it's huge. No pressure, but—

Amy Connell: No pressure. Yeah, no pressure, moms.

Tamara Newell: Just awareness. Yeah.

Amy Connell: As if there's not enough hard things to deal with as a parent. Okay. I want to back up some, because it seems like college was such a formative time for you, not only in getting some healing from your body image issues and from—and I'm sorry, I can't remember if you said it here or if I read it in the book—but from eating disorders, but also when you really started to develop a relationship with Jesus and not—maybe I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but I think you said something to the effect of, you know, not doing it in such a works-based—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —checklist based, but more of just receiving God's love. And so I'm wondering if you can walk us through a bit of your evolution—I don't know if that's the right word—with God and, you know, kind of where you were and then where He took you.

Tamara Newell: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I grew up Catholic, very devout Catholic family, Catholic schools. To this day, I love the Catholic church. Like I am—you know, denominations, I'm like, we all love Jesus. Like that's the truth, right? That's the foundation. And so it was never like this intentional, "I'm going to walk away from this denomination." It was really of like, "I want more of God in my life." And so when I was in that place of the eating disorder being all consuming, and I knew—I was just so desperate. I was so desperate and I knew that I had become this version of myself that I didn't recognize. I was like, "This is not me. I don't even know." And so that first year of college, I would go to different masses by myself and just really trying to find a place where I could worship God.

And my sophomore year of college was 2001 and I was in New York City. So about two weeks or one week before 9/11, one of the girls on my floor came to me and said, "Hey, I'm going to start a Bible study. Do you want to come?" And I said, "You know what? I would like—I used to go to Catholic school and I miss just being around people who share—"

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: "—my faith with me." And a few days later, 9/11 happens. And, you know, so it's like I was already in this place of truly seeking God and asking all the big questions that you often already do in college. And so that just rattled my life. And I was just like, "Lord, do I even dance? Like I don't even know where that fits into my life anymore." And so I started going to my friend's Bible study—it was across the hall from me, that seemed very ordained by God—and I started just learning more about how God wants a relationship with us. Like He loves us so much, exactly how we are and how He made us. And He wants a relationship with us and I never really heard of God being framed that way. And so I started actually reading my Bible, like I really, really didn't read my Bible growing up, maybe here and there. But and so really starting to see what it actually said and who really is—like, what is the nature of God really? Like—

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: —I started to experience this God that loved, first and foremost, who wasn't just watching over me waiting to see if I was going to sin. You know, He loved me. And a few months later my friends invited me to the church they went to. And, you know, the pastor asked, "Does anyone want to give their life to Jesus?" And I said, "Yes, I am. God, it's Jesus."

Amy Connell: Yeah.

Tamara Newell: So, you know, and truthfully, after that, I remember I had been going to this eating disorder center and I kept going, I think for the next several months, and I eventually stopped going and I was like, "You know, I feel like whatever I need is in Jesus." And the counselor looked at me like, "Oh, I don't know about that." She's like, "But I can't stop you." And now listen, I'm pro getting counseling. I have gone back to counseling over the years for different seasons of life. But that for me was a big deal because it was like, "You know what? I don't know everything. I don't know. But I have this feeling." And I do know that when I truly gave my life to Jesus, I had a hope in me that I had never experienced before. The heaviness of the eating disorder, the depression that came with it was gone. And I was like, "I have this sense that God is good. There's freedom for me. There's hope that I can overcome this with Jesus." And again, you know, it was a process still over the years, but that nudge—that was right. So, yeah.

Amy Connell: Yeah. Yeah. That's great. And I know you mentioned in the book that it was a 12-step program to deal with that. And of course, you know, the first step is acknowledging that—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —you know, you can't control it. And, you know, you relinquish, and I think, what is it, step two is like, you know, relinquishing to a higher power or something like that. So there's, I mean, that's so early on in that and absolutely just—yeah. I love that progression.

You offer a Peaceful Body Pyramid—

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: —in your latest book, and I was wondering—it's six levels, as you know—

Tamara Newell: Mm-hmm.

Amy Connell: —and I was wondering if we could kind of go through each of these levels and you can give us a very high level—

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: —explanation of what that is. And of course, if you want to hear more, you can read the book and get it, and we'll put the link in the show notes. But take me to the point first, before we get into that, I want you to take me from that time where your heart really started being molded by Jesus to this pyramid. And basically, how did you get there and how did God reveal this to you?

Tamara Newell: Yeah, that's a really good question. Yeah, and I like to say each of the different points I make are like keys because it's not a formula by any means.

Amy Connell: Not a formula.

Tamara Newell: No formula to God. So I'm like, you know, it's not a formula. And I'll say, but I do think there is a foundation which I'll talk about, and the first key is love. I think that everything has to come from the love of God. But I would say this, I got to a point, this was in my early thirties, and I started writing a blog and I just started writing about all these things that I felt like God had showed me about health and my relationship with my body. And I just started sharing it. And then it—the desire was put in my heart to write a book. And I was like, "Well, what's that going to look like?" And I'm a list person, so for me it makes sense to make a book that kind of has a list.

Amy Connell: Right.

Tamara Newell: So it was just a way of me helping frame it out and a way to help give people, hopefully, something that's very usable, something that's very—that can be easily practical. Thank you. But I would say, so the first key, you know, Key One is Love.

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: This is so important and it's something we can revisit time and time again through the different phases of our life, right?

Amy Connell: Right.

Tamara Newell: Everything with our health, all the choices we make, it needs to come from a place of first understanding that God loves you and He loves you. That's why He made you. He created you to love you and for you to receive His love, and that from there we can then love ourselves. Right? We can't give away something we have not yet received, right? I can't give you a dollar if I don't have a dollar. And so the same thing, like I can't fully love myself if I have not yet received the love of God, right? And it's just so simple. You say, "I want to receive it." And He will start just pouring it into your life. And then, you know, and that is really, if you're going to be making—let's say you have a goal, you do have a goal, you want to start lifting weights three times a week, which is going to help you sustain that habit long term—saying, "I love this body that God gave me, and I'm going to take good care of it. I'm going to steward it." And when that love is motivating that, it's going to help. It's going to outweigh any willpower that we think we have. Because willpower, any type of self-motivated willpower, it's going to run out, right? We're human, but His power never runs out. And so, you know, rather than—you see a video on TikTok of some super fit, you know, 50-year-old woman, you're like, "I gotta be that." And then that's going to motivate you. That's not going to last. And it's coming from a place of comparison, maybe shame, maybe some fear.

So that is the first. After that really just builds on it—is Acceptance. You know, we can accept ourselves when we know that God loves us exactly how we are today.

Amy Connell: Great.

Tamara Newell: And this one is—I love this key because it's something that I continually revisit as I get older. You know, I had my third baby in my forties. That was different. Let me tell you, all the doctors remind you too that it is different. So, you know, it's something that you just revisit and you're like, "You know what? Okay—"

Amy Connell: Yeah. Yeah.

Tamara Newell: "—my body healing after this baby being born is different than it was five years ago. But I'm going to embrace how my body is responding this time. I'm going to accept it." And it's so—because, you know, I could have had all these great moments with God in my twenties, but unless I'm continually revisiting it, things can change in the future. And like I don't want to lose anything that God imparted into my heart. So I continually go back to that place of acceptance. Yeah.

Amy Connell: I want to stop right there because I think you bring up something that is very important and I don't want people to skip over, and that is continually accepting ourselves within changes, seasonal changes, life changes. You know, I don't know everything, but I have lived on this earth long enough to know, and I know you have too, Tamara, that things just don't stay the same.

Tamara Newell: No.

Amy Connell: And our body is constantly—our, as our body is—I'm going to say "move forward" because my friends get onto me when I say "aging." They're like, "We don't want to age." And I'm like, "Well, you are." But so now I've been trying to use the word "move forward," but as we are moving forward, you know, we're not regenerating as much. I mean, hence having a harder time in your forties having a baby. And then, you know, we may be turning along just fine and bam, you're hit with breast cancer or, you know, a loved one dies. And so I really like—I don't want to gloss over this acceptance in the various seasons that we have. It's not a one and done.

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: Yes. So thank you for that.

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: I just think that that's a great point.

Tamara Newell: Yeah. And you know, and I think it can be a little tricky if you had a phase of life where you just felt amazing, you were, you know, whatever that looks like to you. It can be easy to go back and compare. "Well, I want to get back to that," right? It could be a weight, it could be just a feeling that you had. And that can be—not saying like to move forward with good goals, but be aware of any type of past comparison, you know, that can be a tricky little thing.

Amy Connell: Yeah. Comparison to your past self is—that can be dangerous for sure.

Tamara Newell: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the third one is Forgiveness. And this one I'll tell you, I think there's a whole other book that's going to come out of that chapter, I'll be honest, because that's the chapter that people will come up to me and be like, "That one really stuck with them." So forgiveness really plays into this in a couple different ways. Forgiving—possibly forgiving God for things that we see, maybe that we are blaming Him for things that went wrong that then had a trickle down effect, an impact on our health or our body. Maybe the way—either we dealt with something hard that happened that we can say, "Well, God, why did You do that?" And then the way we dealt with it was not taking care of ourself. And then the ramification of that or something that happened to our body, that's a very real thing. Or words that were said, you know. So, and then there's forgiving ourselves, you know, I think that's huge. For me, that was the biggest one, because I treated my body terribly by trying to—

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: —do all these unhealthy habits. When I had an eating disorder, I had a really intense addiction to diet pills, and when I was in high school—I bought so many different types and I remember one night I took—and this is, I don't think they're on the market anymore, which is a good thing, but it would make your heart race.

Amy Connell: Yeah. Yeah.

Tamara Newell: I remember laying in bed one night and my heart was just going, going, going, going, going, going. And I was afraid. And I just laid there. And I remember saying to God, "God, like, if—like help me." Like, I was afraid I was going to die. Like, I'll be honest, like my heart was racing so bad. It was very scary. And then looking back, I felt so ashamed that I was doing that to myself. And that's another story. God completely set me free from any desire to take any diet pills. That's another story, but it's in the book too. But I had to really forgive myself a lot. I had so much shame from my habits and my behaviors that that was something that—specifically the 12 steps really helped me because that's a big part of it is making amends and it was like making amends with myself. And then it is other people too. You know, words that people say, how they treat you. That is something that I think is just really important, not just for our own relationship with our body and how it affects our health and our wellbeing, but just our overall life, you know, everything. It's so important.

After that, I feel like the first three are kind of like a little intense. Four is like, to me, this is when it gets fun. So this I call—it's the Live or the Lifestyle. And this is where I love helping people, especially in coaching, really find—and you're probably the same way too with your training—where when someone finds something that they love—

Amy Connell: Yeah.

Tamara Newell: —and they want to do and there's—it's life giving, it's the best. You know? And so this is where I really—the Holy Spirit definitely is playing a part in all these things, but I always say, you know, God is not the author of confusion. He is the author of peace, right? So we have so much information, right? We have so many products, so many workouts, but the Holy Spirit knows exactly what our bodies need in each phase of life. Right. And it changes. And so you don't have to be confused, you don't have to be overwhelmed. You can just go to the Holy Spirit and say, "What do I actually need right now?" And I'm not saying it's just going to be like in a moment you're going to figure it out. It may be a process, but this is where, you know, you can try like, "Okay, I don't want to go to a gym. I get that. I actually don't belong to a gym. But I can go for a walk with a friend." I know you said in your opening to the podcast, you like walks with friends and I'm like, "She's my people." So like, I love doing that. Right? Or maybe I'm just going to turn on a workout video at home. There's endless options and you can start to experiment. And I always tell people when it comes to exercise, God designed your body to move. Right. There is a way of movement that is going to bring you joy. You just gotta keep looking for it. And then that goes along with, you know, what we're eating as well. The Holy Spirit—I remember when I was really moving out of a place of emotional eating and binge eating, and I was like, "Well, I don't like healthy food. Like healthy food always seemed boring," you know? And I felt the Lord was like, "Well just make a list." Again, I like my list. "Make a list of real food that you made"—

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: —you know, and so I wrote down, "Well, I like cucumbers, I like, you know, this, this, this." And He was like, "Well just eat more of that." And it was so simple. And there was no, "Don't eat this, don't avoid this." It's like, "Well, I love pasta. If you want to eat pasta, like, great. Just add some veggies into it." And it was so simple. And so that's what that chapter is and that's a little bit workbook-ish. I have you kind of think through—

Amy Connell: Right.

Tamara Newell: —to just really begin that conversation with God.

Amy Connell: Yeah. I need to interject with that.

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: You know, you mentioned this and again, I want to highlight it because I think it's important. It can take some time.

Tamara Newell: Oh yeah.

Amy Connell: It's interesting, I'm working with a coaching client who is a former D-I athlete and her sport—she's still actively involved and she coaches that sport. But we have been working for a year to try to find a way for her to move that she loves and it's just—

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: —it's a process because she's also fighting with like her athlete competitive brain, but then the brain of where she is right now and she doesn't want to be. And so I just encourage you, if that is—if you're like, "But I've tried it all. I've done it all." Just keep working. Keep working. I think we've got something on deck that we're hopeful about and we'll just see. So I can't—as we're recording, we're like in the middle of it—

Tamara Newell: Mm-hmm.

Amy Connell: —but it can take a while. It can definitely take a while because, you know, to the point earlier, we change and our seasons change, so—

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: —yeah.

Tamara Newell: And even to that point, you know, like you mentioned earlier, I taught Pilates for a long time and I would tell people, "Hey, if you go to a Pilates class and you don't click with that type of Pilates or that teacher, go to a different one because there is a wide range of how people teach Pilates." You know, and it may even just be a personality thing, you know, and a type of energy the person brings. So it's, yeah, just keep—don't give up. Don't give up.

Amy Connell: Right, right. Moving on to the next one. Vision and Goals.

Tamara Newell: So this is fun. You know, so I would say there's a difference between vision and goals, right? So vision is kind of the big picture, and it's going to really bring clarity to your why, right? Like, why are you getting up to go for an early morning walk when it's more enjoyable to hit the snooze button and sleep? Why are you lifting weights and it feels uncomfortable? Why are you doing these things? And I would really, this is where it's like you can really spend time and maybe it's super clear, maybe you know your why. I would encourage it to be beyond, you know, "I have my reunion"—

Amy Connell: Yes.

Tamara Newell: —and, you know, like—

Amy Connell: Yes.

Tamara Newell: For me, you know, going back to the daughters, you know, they would ask, "Why are you exercising?" And you know, I'll tell them. I'm like, "Hey, you know, as I'm getting older, my bones—like, I want to have strong bones. I want to babysit your kids one day. If you have kids, you know, I want to be—I'm so blessed my parents are in their early eighties, late seventies, and they still are able to come from Pennsylvania to Georgia. They're able to be active and take my son fishing and do trips, and it's like, I want to be able—and to babysit. They babysat all three kids for over a week one time. It's like, I want to be able to be well enough to do that." And so it's like, I love what you said, like we're moving forward and it's like, what is the vision for where we're moving forward? Why? And you know, the goals—the goal starts getting to, once you have the clarity of your why and your vision, the goal is specifically what you're going to do to move forward. You know, and this is where, you know, hiring a trainer, hiring a coach can help you figure out what that looks like. And this is especially for women in our phase of life. There's so much on our plate of responsibility, right? We have parents who are aging. We have possibly kids still in the household, possibly a husband, a career, friends. You know, if you're serving in other capacities in your community, there is so much. And so I do believe there is a way to still be able to make time to care for ourself to move forward with health. But it may take a little bit of, again, experimenting to see what works and it's going to change, you know. And, okay, well when it changes, how can I change to adapt to that?

And then the last one, the Praise and Thankfulness. It's like, thank God. Like—

Amy Connell: Right.

Tamara Newell: So, like, Lord, I am so—I will think sometimes of like, man, if I did not have Jesus come into my life, like I don't even want to think about that.

Amy Connell: I can't imagine.

Tamara Newell: Like I just—let's not dwell on it too much. I'm so, so grateful and I'm so grateful for what He's done in my life so that I can, you know, bring this and hopefully serve other women with it, you know. So continually, and even in the place of, if our body, if our health, if we're struggling with an illness, if we're struggling with perimenopause symptoms and whatnot, like continually just to have that heart of thankfulness and finding something to still be thankful for, even if there is still something else that is hard, you know, because there probably is, let's be honest.

Amy Connell: Well, and there's so much science coming out about gratitude—

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: —and how gratitude is a huge contributor to longevity.

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: So let's just be thankful—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —you know, and as Christ followers, we have somebody to be thankful to—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —because we know where it comes from. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Well, thank you for walking us through that, Tamara. And I know that there's so much that you have in the book.

As we wrap up, I have a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests. One of them is, I love learning about people's tattoos—

Tamara Newell: Oh.

Amy Connell: —and I have found that when people put something on their body for the rest of their life, they often have a meaning behind it, not always.

Tamara Newell: Yeah.

Amy Connell: And I was wondering if you had any tattoos, if you would be willing to share what it is, and if you don't have one, but you had to get one, what would it be and where would it go?

Tamara Newell: Goodness, I'm boring. I don't have any.

Amy Connell: Okay, that's fine.

Tamara Newell: What would it be? I've never really thought about that. I honestly, the thought of getting one seems very painful. So like, so I haven't really even thought—even what that would be, where it would be. Maybe—okay. So the only places where I would put it is also where I hear it's more painful because it's closer to a bone. So maybe like right here—

Amy Connell: Uh-huh.

Tamara Newell: —or like around the ankle.

Amy Connell: Okay.

Tamara Newell: You know, but again, I'm like, that feels like it would be more painful. What would it be? I feel like I would not be very original. It would probably be just like a cross—

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: —or. I know.

Amy Connell: Yeah. Okay. All right. That's just fine. I don't—no, I don't. But I like to ask people about theirs and I've been asking them a long time before like it turned into a thing where we ask.

Tamara Newell: Okay.

Amy Connell: But it's so funny to hear you walk through that because what I have decided, if I were to get one and I probably would never, I would go behind the ear. So again, in a very sensitive area and I think I would get the Christian fish.

Tamara Newell: Oh, I like that.

Amy Connell: Just the gentleness of—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —and the welcoming of that. So—

Tamara Newell: And it really shows the goodness of God I feel, because I just think back to the fishes and the loaves and just the amazing expression of God's provision and abundance and His goodness. I like that.

Amy Connell: Yeah.

Tamara Newell: That's good.

Amy Connell: And so that way I could hide it when I'm with my parents. And then when I put my hair up in a ponytail, the world could see it.

Tamara Newell: I'd have to wear boots around my parents the rest of my life. I think that's true.

Amy Connell: Some of us never get totally out of that. Okay. And then on the other side of things, your book is chock-full of Bible verses, but you did say that you—

Tamara Newell: Yes.

Amy Connell: —have a meaningful Bible verse that you would like to share. So do you have one that you would like to share with us?

Tamara Newell: Mm. "Whom the Lord has set free is free indeed." Yeah, I think that one is just—that just popped up in my heart because like that's with this whole conversation, it's just like God has given me so much freedom in this area of my life.

Amy Connell: Mm-hmm.

Tamara Newell: He took what was the hardest thing in my life and brought it into a place that brings me such joy and enjoyment. And so yeah, I'm just grateful for God's freedom. Yeah.

Amy Connell: Amen. Okay. And then tell people how they can connect with you. We will definitely put links to the—

Tamara Newell: Mm-hmm.

Amy Connell: —to your website. So anything that you say, we'll put in the show notes, but go ahead and say that in case someone's just listening.

Tamara Newell: Yeah. I'm on Instagram, it's just @TamaraNewell. There's also, I have a YouTube page and yeah, the Amazon book and then the Etsy page as well. There's a downloadable that you can download and it's kind of a small workbook that goes along with the book if you're into that. So.

Amy Connell: Is that something people could do with a group or with their daughters or—okay.

Tamara Newell: Yes. Yes. And that's interesting. That's something I'm actually kind of playing around with because a few people have said, "Hey, I'm going to use this book for my small group," or "My mom and I are reading it together." And so I'm kind of playing around with the idea of doing maybe like a virtual small group at some point. So this seems to be a little—yeah, we'll see. Yeah.

Amy Connell: Great idea. I love that. I love that. Okay, Tamara, we've covered a lot. I like to give my guests the last say, so what is one simple thing that you would like people to remember about our conversation? Big or small, but just one—

Tamara Newell: Hmm.

Amy Connell: —nugget to walk away with.

Tamara Newell: Yeah, I mean, I think maybe just reiterate what you just said back to everybody else, it's focus on—it's an idea I've been thinking about lately. The one thing, you know, it's like if you're feeling overwhelmed with this part of your life, with your health and your wellbeing, just focus on one thing. One thing, right? Like it doesn't have to be a huge overhaul, but what is one thing that you can do that's just stewarding your body well today? Maybe it's just in your thoughts, but one thing. Yeah.

Amy Connell: Yeah, so good. Okay. That is all for today. Go out there and have a graced day.