The James Granstrom Podcast - Super Soul Model series
Have you been questioning how to live your dreams and enjoy greater happiness, health, and wellbeing? I'm James Granstrom, male model turned international speaker and wellbeing teacher. Join me every other week for new lessons, tips, and conversations on personal growth, health, healing and spirituality with my inspiring guests or straight talk from myself. I'm here to guide you to become your best self and enrich your life, so you can tune and tap into your own natural state of wellbeing.
The James Granstrom Podcast - Super Soul Model series
The Power of Healthy Masculinity: Redefining Leadership for the Modern Man
Unlock the power of healthy masculinity and elevate your relationships, leadership, and well-being. In this episode, you're going to learn about the true essence of healthy masculine energy—rooted in emotional intelligence, empathy, and purposeful leadership.
You'll also learn how breaking free from outdated norms of toxic masculinity can deepen your connections, foster trust, and lead to a more balanced, fulfilling life. Through personal stories and practical insights, we explore how traits like accountability, providing security, and living a mission-driven life can transform your partnerships, career, and overall happiness.
Join me as we explore how collaboration beats competition and how embracing vulnerability can lead to both personal and professional success. Discover the habits and mindset shifts that help men reduce stress, nurture meaningful connections, and live with greater purpose. Don’t miss out on this journey toward a healthier, more empowered version of yourself.
In this episode, we're discussing the topic of the healthy masculine. When men start operating in their healthy masculine, everything in their life begins to improve, from health relationships to creating wealth. Enjoy this enlightening episode. Why is it important to understand the healthy masculine? The reason being is it's so important is because toxic masculinity has plagued society for eons and until we break those toxic patterns, peace will never ensue on this planet. Hello and welcome to the james granstrom podcast. In this episode, we're looking at the topic of embracing the healthy masculine. This episode the peace will never ensue on this planet. Hello and welcome to the James Garnstrom podcast. In this episode, we're looking at the topic of embracing the healthy masculine. This episode aims to inspire men to become more balanced, healthier versions of themselves in their masculine energy. Because what this really does? It promotes emotional intelligence, it promotes strength, it promotes empathy and it promotes responsible leadership. Why is this important and why is it important to understand the healthy masculine? The reason being is because toxic masculinity has plagued society for eons and until we break those toxic patterns, peace will never ensue on this planet. Peace will never ensue in the society and it's really important that when we really learn to step into our healthy versions of ourselves. We're never going to want to hurt anything or anybody, and until we understand that well-being abounds everywhere and that it is our job and our duty to behave accordingly, in harmony with the planet and in harmony with others, we are always going to be stuck in this cycle of pain. So until we change our ways, things will just perpetuate. So it's really important for men right now to understand the healthy masculine energy, because it's going to promote incredible relationships that are peaceful and will be able to deal with stress and challenge in positive ways. When you come from a position of the healthy masculine energy, it's also going to make women feel a lot safer and feel more relaxed that they don't have to step into their masculine energy to go and provide, because it's so important that we understand the energy that we hold as men is also affecting everything around us, and if we're looking at things in a toxic way, we're only going to perpetuate that which we don't want, which is dissatisfying to us anyway. So if we want change and you want to be an agent for change, then understanding the healthy masculine is imperative for greater sense of happiness, a greater sense of peace and greater relationships. And in this episode. What I'm going to do is I'm going to share with you the behaviors that the healthy masculine does and what he doesn't do, so you've got real clarity so that you can begin to operate in this new energy. This, I hope, inspires so many men out there to become better versions of themselves, rather than just watching society continue to play out in toxic ways. So let's look at some of the behaviors of what the healthy masculine has and what he operates in. Number one, he has emotional availability and he has emotional vulnerability. This means that he can be open in his communication and opened with his feelings.
Speaker 1:Years ago, this was not me and I wasn't able to express my emotions freely. I would just say everything to everybody. Yeah, I'm fine when underneath the surface surface I wasn't fine because I was always wanting to put on the bravado that are. You know, I was doing great when underneath, I was really suffering. And when we look at things and people who are succeeding on the outside world even if we look at Liam Payne, who's just been in the the news recently from the boy band One Direction the external world can show that there's a lot of happiness and a lot of success, but the internal world can be crumbling, and so until we operate from this healthy masculine energy, we're going to feel suffering inside, and I knew that this was me years ago, when I wasn't able to communicate my emotions and be open and be vulnerable. So it's such an important part for us to be able to express our emotions freely.
Speaker 1:I remember once a buddy of mine came up to me and he goes how are you? And I was like, I'm fine, he goes. I don't believe you. And I said, no, I'm fine. And he goes. Well, I don't believe you. He goes until you can really tell me how you feel. Uh, you know, I can't really be there for you. And it made me go away and think. And it made me go away and open my heart to realize that another man could literally be able to just receive my vulnerability, which I thought was very weird, because my father had that yeah, I'm fine and would never express his emotions, had that yeah, I'm fine and would never express his emotions. So that's how we learn. We learn from our fathers the healthy or the toxic traits of masculinity and until we break the cycle, it's always going to perpetuate.
Speaker 1:So the healthy masculine is emotionally available not only to himself but to others, and particularly the feminine, so he can share his emotions, he can share his feelings and recognize that it actually allows the feminine to draw, can share his emotions, he can share his feelings and recognize that it actually allows the feminine to draw more into him and trust him more if he's able to express his emotions and vulnerability more freely and open communication. But also, simultaneously, it works in men's relationships when we are able to open our hearts and speak our truths to one another in a brotherhood where we can say this is how I'm feeling and you know it's tough, or whatever. If we're able to do that, it creates health, it creates vitality, that we can actually express our emotions freely, which is very healthy. The whole idea of being able to express your emotions freely, to have emotional availability and to have emotional vulnerability is because what it really does is. It builds connection between ourselves and others and ultimately, when we are being received in our vulnerability, it draws us closer to one another. Now imagine that in a society where we're able to actually speak openly and freely to one another, instead of putting on the brave pretense that everything's okay when it isn't really, it only takes one person to really listen to your pain if you're experiencing a challenge, for you to feel heard and for you to feel seen and for you, in that moment, to heal Now.
Speaker 1:The second on the list of a healthy masculine trait is the masculine will take responsibility for everything, whether it's good or bad. He can own his mistakes, he can own his challenges and he can own his choices now, whether that's in relationships, career or in other things, instead of blaming external figures or blaming the world for not being perfect or not being right or this or that, he really takes responsibility for all things that happen, because all things that happen to him are a reflection of his internal world. And when he's able to take responsibility, he's not blaming anybody else. He's manning up, he's facing the challenge and he's trying to resolve challenges that are in front of him. When you take responsibility, you gain power. This is a very healthy masculine trait.
Speaker 1:Number three he looks to support and uplift others wherever he goes. When a man is in his healthy masculine, he's not trying to get power over other people. He's trying to uplift, he's trying to support, he's trying to mentor. To a certain extent, he's trying to encourage others to grow in their own way. The healthy masculine looks to empower rather than discourage, looks to empower others rather than think there's any competition. Essentially, he's a mentor of sorts, and as soon as I stepped into doing mentoring and coaching and sharing these podcasts, I noticed that I had more energy, I had more good feelings about myself and what I was doing. And as soon as you start operating from this particular energy, trying to empower other people rather than think I've got more than you, when you start to empower, we see that life is really just a team game. When you start to empower, we see that life is really just a team game. And when you ask any multi-millionaire or billionaire, you always want to ask this question what traits did you require in order to get that level of success? And you'll often find that it was trying to help as many people along the way as well as helping yourself.
Speaker 1:The next thing on the list that a healthy masculine energy has is he respects boundaries. Now, the healthy masculine understands that there are boundaries in intimacy, in relationships and in business and in family and in everything. And when he respects the boundaries with other people and doesn't overstep them, what he's doing is he's operating in his healthy masculine, because when you have boundaries you create health, you create an energetic health about. This is what I will do and this is what I will not do. And what it's also doing is it's creating respect and respect for ourselves, respect for our partners, respect for the feminine. This is really huge in being able to create these boundaries, and these boundaries are created by the healthy masculine on purpose. To say these are the limits of what I will do and what I will not do. And unless you have self-control, unless you have self-discipline, you're only going to overstep the mark. And in toxic masculinity, people always overstep the mark, they always disrespect boundaries and this has caused a lot of pain and suffering. In toxic masculinity, people always overstep the mark, they always disrespect boundaries and this has caused a lot of pain and suffering in the past, particularly to the feminine energy. So if we're looking to become healthy masculine energy, we have to put healthy boundaries up in place, because then it means we're not leaking energy and it means we're creating more respect and love all around us. We're creating more respect and love all around us.
Speaker 1:The next thing on the list. The next thing on the list is embracing collaboration versus competition. Now, in sport, we have competition because it's fun. But in life, if we're competing against people the whole time, what we're really doing is we're saying we're separate from other people. But what I've noticed that there's this universal law of oneness and when we're looking to collaborate with others, we're also uplifting ourselves as well as other people, which taps into this universal principle of oneness, meaning there is only one of us in different forms, in different fragments. So when we help one another, we're actually creating a beautiful energy of power and more good stuff comes to you.
Speaker 1:It's a bit like saying, the more you collaborate, the more green lights you're going to get. The more you try to compete with other people, the more red lights you're going to get, because that's going to create way more stress. Competition creates way more cortisol in the bloodstream. But but collaboration opens the heart. Collaboration opens the mind to creative ideas. So when we can collaborate rather than compete, we're going to find ourselves stepping into the healthy masculine. In my case, when I started looking to collaborate with other people in work and in business and trying to share community with other people, share audience with this podcast, with other guests, it just became such a fun experience and whilst I do a lot of these podcasts just sharing my own insights and my own experiences and my own stories. It's so fun to collaborate with other people, so look in your experience where can you collaborate rather than think you need to compete, because also, when you're competing, competing you're also kind of comparing and comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 1:So let's look at some of the things that the healthy masculine doesn't do. What does he avoid? He doesn't suppress his emotions, and the reason being is because he doesn't suppress his emotions for fear of looking weak. The old toxic masculinity was like hide that weakness, because that weakness showed vulnerability and ultimately, until we really open our hearts and share our vulnerability, we're never going to have decent connection with other people or our partners or our spouses is always that you can open your heart through connection, by not suppressing your emotions, but by opening yourself and being more vulnerable, because that breeds a deeper connection between ourselves and other people. This creates way more harmony and more satisfying relationships.
Speaker 1:The second thing the healthy masculine doesn't do is he doesn't engage in toxic competitiveness. Now we talked about this briefly before. The healthy masculine doesn't need to prove himself to anybody, because he's got enough validation already that he's good enough. So what he's doing is he's avoiding toxic competitiveness because he has no need to be better than others, because he already has a healthy sense of self. He already has self-validation and high self-esteem. It's usually when we don't have high self-esteem that we're looking to prove our worthiness through competition. But this is actually backwards. We need to show it to ourselves first, rather than doing it in toxic competitiveness. Instead of having these destructive patterns, he focuses instead on improving himself.
Speaker 1:The next thing the healthy masculine always tries to avoid is objective, is objectivity and the control of others, because when we're trying to control others, what we're really doing is we have a lack of control. Underneath the surface, it's always backwards. I remember my father always wanted to control everything, and even me. I felt like I've been such a control freak and as soon as I began to surrender, as soon as I began to let go, there was no need to control others. Just let them be. Now, if you've got kids, of course you need to monitor them and manage them, but if we're trying to control our partners, if we're trying to control everything, what we're really doing is not trusting life. We're not trusting that everything has a way of unfolding beautifully for us. So toxic masculinity would try to control, whereas healthy masculinity would trust, and so especially in partners and in the feminine energy.
Speaker 1:You don't need to control your partner. You don't need to control women, and we don't need to see them as objects. We see them as hearts and souls and minds and as beautiful beings that create life rather than take life. The man biologically gives the seed to the woman, and when he gives the seed, she turns that seed and receives it into an egg and creates life through her. What marvelous miracle is that? And so it is our job, rather than to look at her, the feminine, as an object, but rather as a gift. That's when everything changes. The feminine is a gift to the masculine and we need to protect and provide and cherish that feminine, because she creates life. The man will provide a house, but the woman will turn it into a home. These are the types of things that the healthy masculine really understands, and as soon as we begin to understand that that's our job as a man to provide and protect and cherish and nurture the feminine, she will open her heart and in doing so, we will get the gift of her beautiful feminine energy, and that can transform us men into making incredible amounts of money, very successful in business and feeling very proud, happy, healthy and wealthy. We don't want to just be happy and healthy, we want to be happy, healthy and wealthy. We don't want to just be happy and healthy, we want to be happy, healthy and wealthy and successful. And we can only do that when we operate in our healthy, masculine. I'll never forget.
Speaker 1:I met a family in London who were from America. They were billionaire family and the the man was in his 70s and his wife too, was in her 70s. They had kids, grandkids, and they ran a very, very successful business and they went around shaking hands and being polite to absolutely everybody and I noticed that there was something about this man that was different. He respected his wife, he still was chivalrous, he went around shaking everybody's hands to say thank you so much for working here and was genuinely interested in people. And I thought, oh my golly, this is someone who's giving so much time, who's created an absolute fortune and an empire and still absolutely loves his wife, and they both look fantastic and they're in their 70s. I thought this is a model of healthy living, of someone who's happy, healthy and wealthy, and these people had genuine love and respect for one another, whilst having a business that's absolutely thriving. I saw that as such a rare thing and it really inspired me that that's what I want to be like one day, and I noticed that this particular man really operated these healthy masculine traits.
Speaker 1:So the next thing on the list that the healthy masculine doesn't do is he doesn't fear vulnerability. He understands that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. And when I look back in my case, when I started becoming a little bit more vulnerable open communication with my feeling that's when things got a lot better for me. My relationships deepened, and my relationships with women deepened as well, but it didn't deepen when I was constantly trying to say I was okay when I wasn't okay, and so that was something that I had to learn on my journey.
Speaker 1:And the next thing that the healthy masculine really doesn't do is he doesn't rely on aggression and violence to solve problems. This is toxic old school. This is what our forefathers did. This is what my ancestors did. My ancestors are vikings and this is what they did, and I told my dad before he died. I told him. I said look, I want to change that pattern and break that pattern, but I didn't realize it was going to be understanding that I needed to operate in the healthy masculine, to change those patterns of the past, to create and inspire and uplift more men to be in their healthy masculine.
Speaker 1:When I was reading about health and wanting to become way more healthy, because my health was in a very poor state over 20 years ago, little did I realize it was also about the mental understanding of what the healthy masculine was, yet alone the biological, physical, emotional and spiritual parts of health as well. So, instead of using aggression, the healthy masculine relies on listening, he relies on understanding. He relies on listening. He relies on understanding. He relies on being empathetic. He relies on patience. Boy, that was something I've really had to learn patience, because patience isn't something that you're born with, it's something that you have to practice.
Speaker 1:So where can you hold your tongue? Where can you stop saying something that you know is going to hurt somebody? Because ultimately, we're always going to hurt somebody at some point and make a mistake. But how good are you at saying sorry if you know you've done wrong? And if we're always trying to rely on using aggression to get things done, then ultimately we're only going to cause more stress and strain in our relationships, in society on the planet, in business, in commerce, and and that's never going to be a life that's going to be rewarding, because we're just going to perpetuate that negative cycle. So we have to let go of the need for aggression and we need to encourage more patience, creativity, understanding, empathy to solve problems and challenges that are presented to us. That's what a real leader would do.
Speaker 1:So let's look at some of the habits now, of what the healthy masculine does is he's calm, he practices calmness. Now, how does he get to calmness? Through listening, through sitting, still by being self-reflective, by perhaps having a meditation practice. Calmness is a superpower and when you're operating in your healthy masculine, you can be calm even under adversity, even under challenge. This is something that I had to practice and I didn't know that I had that until I was going through real challenges, particularly in the death of people close to me. You're never gonna know who you are until you're really tested and calmness will really be one of the gifts that you can bring to the table when there's real challenge going on. So, however, you get to calm. It is something you need to cultivate in your life, because you're not born with it, but it is something that you need to practice.
Speaker 1:The next thing that's a habit of the healthy masculine is looking to provide for the females, looking to provide security, provision, care. You know, like I mentioned earlier, the masculine will buy the house, but the feminine will turn it into a home, and when we come from this position of not doing things 50-50, but literally the man provides, then everything's going to change. Now I really made a grave error thinking that it was 50-50 years ago, and this caused so much strain on my personal relationships which actually caused it to end. When I realized I needed to look after the feminine in my life, whoever it was, whether it's my mother's, my sister's or even my partner, I needed to recognize that I was to take care of them. Now, this is such a huge trait and it was only about a week or two ago that I sent my whole family out for lunch, even though I was in a different country. I sent all my girls, meaning my mom and my two sisters in my life. I sent them out for lunch and that it was, the check had been taken care of, and they sent me the most beautiful message that made me feel so full of life, made me feel so proud, made me feel so strong. This little act of love that I was inspired to do just came out of thinking. This is what the healthy masculine would do, and I don't want to make it out to be a big deal, but it was a big deal to them because they felt really, really cared for and that made me feel really powerful in my masculine. So if you want to do something for your family, always take care of them, pick up the check, don't let them pay, so the healthy masculine will provide. He will find a way to provide, and until you step into that role, then you're only going to have stress and strain on your relationships.
Speaker 1:The nicked habit of the healthy masculine is owning it when you're wrong, because you're going to be wrong from time to time. But when you own it, it releases resistance, and a lot of us always want to keep being right, but when you keep being being right, all you're doing is persisting in red lights. You're persisting in resistance and what you resist will keep persisting. So what we really need to do is own it when you've made a mistake, own it when you're wrong. Say you're sorry, because this actually builds trust, recognizing that you can look at yourself going. I can't believe. I didn't see that. I can't believe that's caused you pain. I'm sorry. And and let me move on Again. These are certain things that I've had to learn along the way that when I'm wrong, I own it.
Speaker 1:The next thing when a man is in his power and is healthy, masculine, he's making decisions that will empower other people and, whatever the decision is, the feminine will trusting in in him when he makes a series of good decisions. And when women stop actually trusting men, it's because he's now not operating in his healthy masculine. So it's really important that in them, in the healthy masculines, you learn to make good choices. You learn to make good decisions so that the woman can be free to be herself and that energy that she possesses enriches us, opens our hearts to more power, responsibility and even success. And there's this really big chapter in think and grow rich by napoleon hill, and it's about great men have great women behind them, and so the reason being is because when he's operating in his healthy masculine, her feminine presence and encouragement and belief in him because he makes a series of good choices, even if he's not rich yet, will eventually allow him to make greater decisions. For them both that will attract good happiness, good health and good fortune.
Speaker 1:Now this is just energy at play, because when the man is in his healthy masculine, the feminine feels safe. When the man is not in his healthy masculine, in his toxic masculinity, he causes stress and strain and it's always a dissatisfying relationship. So it's so important to really own the behaviors of the healthy masculine. So once again, the feminine energy wants to know her man is making good decisions and a series of good decisions, so she can feel safe and at peace, so she's not having to operate a fight or flight for the family, because when she does that she's going to freak out and this causes a lot of stress on relationships. So the more you're making good choices and good decisions from whatever the cards are in front of you, the feminine energy will respect that because you're making decisions. But if you're not making any decisions and she has to start making the decisions, that's going to cause a lot of stress. So the healthy masculine has the power to make a series of good choices and decisions.
Speaker 1:And, last but not least, the healthy masculine has the ability to say no. He's got self-control, he's got self-discipline, he takes care of his body, he takes care of his mind, he can say no to sex, he can have healthy boundaries. If you can't say no to these certain things and, by the way, most men are quite weak at being able to have self-control and self-discipline you are never going to have a high level of self-respect or respect from others until you have your own disciplines and self-controls in place. And the feminine energy finds men very attractive when men have the ability to control themselves and say no. They find this very, very alluring and magnetic. And it's so important for us men to be able to have self-control and self-discipline and the ability to say no even when you really want it. This is going against impulse. Going what against is the best decision.
Speaker 1:That's right in front of me, and the healthy masculine also is so engaged with his mission. His mission must come first, even above the feminine energy to a certain extent, because his mission is what drives him, his purpose, his vision, and when he can say no to the feminine because he's working on his mission is what drives him, his purpose, his vision, and when he can say no to the feminine because he's working on his mission. This again provides a lot of foundational support in the relationship, because she sees him as a man who has drive, this becomes very attractive and she can trust him to make good decisions. When we're operating in a healthy masculine, you have to have your mission and your purpose, and that comes when your purpose and your mission are aligned. And in my case, when I've looked at my mission, my mission is to uplift, to heal, to inspire and to help people become more self-aware and empowered, happier, healthier and wealthier. When I've looked at this and I've looked at my own mission, this has not only been healing for me. It's healing for other people as well. So look at what your mission and your purpose is, because when you start living it, you will be tapping into a healthy masculine.
Speaker 1:So, in conclusion, most men have learned through society and usually through family, that there are quite several toxic traits of masculinity that don't serve us through family, that there are quite several toxic traits of masculinity that don't serve us and we're starting to outgrow because it's causing more stress and strain on our relationships as society and the world changes. But as a new earth begins to unfold before us, when we start stepping into the healthiest energetic patterns within ourselves and what we've been talking about today is the healthy masculine things begin to shift before us, we start to feel way better about ourselves, we start to feel more empowered, we start to feel calmer, we start to feel more relaxed, we start to attract way more money into our experience and our emotions are more centered. This is the second chakra, this is the the just below the abdomen. When we start to become calmer, more emotionally stable human beings, we create more peace on earth and we start to attract more abundance into our lives as well. The healthy masculine will attract way more abundance into his life when he starts operating with a lot of these habits that I've shared with you today. So, in conclusion, what habits could you start activating today?
Speaker 1:Has this episode been food for thought? I know when I first started trying to tap into my healthy masculine, it was very difficult, but I know it's been perhaps one of the greatest journeys I've ever embarked on, because I feel so much better about myself. I remember years ago feeling such discontent within myself, and that's because I wasn't operating in the healthy masculine. But as soon as I started to employ more of these traits and behaviors, my life and everything began to change around it. So I wonder what habits you could start to employ today that will improve the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships and the quality of your bank balance. I hope you've enjoyed this episode and, as always, thank you for all the people who support the show, thank you for all the people who subscribe to the show. You guys make this. So thank you so much and until the next episode, I wish you a wonderful weekend and green lights all the way.