240. The Burnout Reframe: Master Burnout by Changing the Story You Tell Yourself

What if the voice in your head saying "I'll slow down when everything is done" is the very thing keeping you burned out and running on empty?

In this final episode of our burnout series, Dr. Adrienne Youdim reveals how your internal dialogue is literally triggering stress hormones in your body—and shares the 5 practical reframing techniques that can rewire these patterns for good.

This episode completes the three-part system: Part 1 showed you how to regulate your nervous system, Part 2 taught you to restore through life transitions, and Part 3 gives you the reframing tools to change your relationship with success itself.

What You'll Learn:

• The 4 mental frameworks driving your burnout: productivity = worth, success = sacrifice, value = busyness, care = self-neglect
• Why your thoughts are material—how thinking "I have to" versus "I choose to" creates different neurochemical responses
• The language shifts that move you from reactive victim to intentional leader of your own life

"Burnout is not just physical, it's not just mental and emotional, but it is a reflection of how we have been taught to relate to ourselves. We can do this deep work by regulating the body, restoring our system, and reframing our thoughts and beliefs in a way that gives us permission and agency to live and lead on our own terms." - Dr. Adrienne Youdim

The Complete Burnout Prevention System:

• Regulate (Part 1): Nervous system tools for real-time stress management
• Restore (Part 2): Navigate transitions without reactive behaviors
• Reframe (Part 3): Transform limiting beliefs into empowering choices

This episode completes our #BurnoutSeries—giving you the complete framework to move from chronic reactivity to intentional living.

Ready to make this transformation systematic and sustainable? 

These reframing techniques work best when practiced consistently with support from others who understand the high-achiever journey.

Our next Resilient Minds cohorts start September 30th (women) and October 1st (men). This 8-week program integrates all three elements—regulate, restore, reframe—with the accountability and community that makes lasting change possible.

Learn more and apply at dradrienneyoudim.com/resilient-minds

3 Ways that Dr. Adrienne Youdim Can Support You

• Join Resilient Minds: If this sounds familiar, you're exactly who Resilient Minds is designed for. Next cohort starts September 30th - Limited to 12 high-achieving professionals ready to move from success to significance.
  Ready to stop asking "Is this it?" and start living like you know it isn't?
  Application details here: https://www.dradrienneyoudim.com/resilient-minds
• Subscribe to Dr. Adrienne's weekly newsletter https://www.dradrienneyoudim.com/newsletter.
• Connect on Instagram : Follow @dradrienneyoudim for tips and inspiration on well-being and peak performance.

Transcript

I wonder how many of you find yourselves overeating, over-drinking, over-working, or people-pleasing. Trust me, I get it. As a physician, mother, and type A personality, I know firsthand how easily we neglect ourselves in the pursuit of doing it all, and how that leads us to engaging in habits and behaviors that leave us drained and unfulfilled.

I'm Dr. Adrienne Youdim, physician, author, and expert in mind-body medicine and medical weight loss. I help high-achieving professionals recognize the hidden hungers that drive reactivity, burnout, and self-sabotaging habits.

And you're listening to Health Bite, the podcast where we uncover the essential nutrients that fuel your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Each week, we'll explore one hunger and offer practical, evidence-based tools like food, movement, rest, mindset, and contemplative practices to regulate your stress response so you can think and act with clarity, and so you can redefine success in your terms without sacrificing your health, your relationships, your work, or your self-respect.

The Final Piece of the Burnout Puzzle

And this is the last part of our building resilience to burnout mini-series. We've spent the last few episodes exploring burnout, what it is, how it arises from reactivity, the constant bombardment of outside noise that when left unchecked, literally burns out our system, mind and body. We also talked about how we can begin to recover by learning to regulate and restore our systems. And I offered some practical strategies in the last few podcasts. So go back and take a listen if you haven't already.

But here's the part we don't talk about enough, and that is how to reframe. If we don't learn to shift the way we think, and reframe the stories that we carry out in our minds, we'll never truly gain mastery over burnout. And so that is where we're going to begin today.

But first, I want to remind you that we're enrolling for the next cohort of Resilient Minds. This is my eight-week program designed for high-achieving professionals like you who are ready to shift out of burnout and reactivity to calm intentional living. In just two months, you will learn practical science-based mind-body strategies to regulate your stress, to break free from self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns, and to learn to fuel your mind and body in a purposeful way that will profoundly change how you live, lean into your relationships, and lead in your workplaces and your community.

Our next cohort begins September 30th. Our men's cohort begins October 1st, and you can learn more and apply at dradrienneyoudim.com/resilient-minds.

Understanding Burnout as Reactivity

All right. So let's get into today's episode. Like I said, we spent the last few episodes exploring the concept of burnout. And the way I kind of think about it in my mind is not the classical definition that we've discussed on previous podcasts, but really this understanding of how it is—it's like a side effect of reactivity.

Our bodies are in this perpetual state of bombardment of outside noise and information and stressors and uncertainty. This elicits the stress response, which is by nature reactive. We are wired to react, but that constant reactivity without the opportunity to regulate and to restore leads to literally burning out mind and body.

And so in past episodes, we talked about: How do you regulate your body and mind? How do you offer deep restoration to your body and mind? And today we're going to talk about reframing.

Because even when we are sleeping better, eating better, taking deep breaths, if we don't shift the way that we think, if we don't reframe the stories that are running in loops in our mind, burnout will always find a way back in.

Why Reframing Is the Inner Work

So reframe is really the inner work. It is the recognition that how we think fuels how we feel, how we act, and ultimately how we live. And this isn't a meme or a cliché. It is literally backed by science that our thinking drives emotions and feelings and feelings drive our actions.

So ultimately it's a matter of how can we reframe so many of these internal narratives so that they are in synergy with how we want to act?

What are some of these thoughts? I wonder if you can think of some chronic thinking loops that may trigger feelings of burnout. There are phrases like:

• "If I don't do it myself or if I don't do it all, no one will." How many of you can relate to that?
• "I have to do it in order for it to be done right."
• "I'll rest when everything is done. I'll slow down when everything is done."
• "If I slow down, I'm going to fall behind."
• "Success always means saying yes." Being the yes person, saying yes to everything.

And it may not be saying yes to a boss or someone in your workplace, but what if you are the driver? Always saying yes to yourself, feeling like you have to do everything that you set yourself up to do, right?

But all these thoughts—they're not facts. They're just beliefs. And these beliefs can be reframed. These beliefs can be rewritten.

The Biology of Thinking

So let's talk a little bit about the biology of thinking. Because every time we think a thought, it triggers a neurochemical reaction. That includes neurotransmitters that are released in your brain. It also results in neurochemicals that are released throughout your body.

So for example, when we think thoughts that are coming from a place of pressure, stress, perfectionism, urgency, that triggers the stress response. Our body literally releases adrenaline, cortisol. These are stress hormones. And even though there isn't a true danger, we are activating the same part of our nervous system, the same stress response that we discussed in part one, that is a bodily response to get away or to respond to danger in a certain way.

That means that thinking is actually material. It is actually concrete because it's resulting in tangible changes in the body. And so thoughts are really a part of your biology and they will either reinforce the thinking that results in burnout or they will offer a salvation. They offer support to building your resilience.

And so the question is like, which way do we want to go? Do we want to drive more stress and reinforce the patterns that create burnout? Or do we want to support our inherent internal resilience?

And this is so much of the work that we do in Resilient Minds, because resilience is something that we all can cultivate. It is not something that is relegated to just a few lucky people. It is something that we all have to work at, to build, to cultivate. There are seasons in our life where we may feel more resilient. There are times in our life where we feel less capable. And that is exactly when we need to lean in to these practices.

The Power of Neuroplasticity

But here's the good news. And that is that our brains have an ability to change, and this is something that we've also talked a lot about—neuroplasticity, the idea that our brain's wiring actually is malleable, it's changeable, it's like plastic, it's movable.

We can rewire our patterns of thinking by actively cultivating this new way of thinking, by cultivating the reframe. Because just like a muscle that gets built, we can build these pathways. But like a muscle, it takes repetition and it takes intentionality.

The 4 Mental Frameworks That Drive Burnout

So let's talk about some of the mental frameworks that can drive reactivity and burnout. And as I go through these, I want you to think about how you engage in this in your own thinking and if any of these resonate with you.

1. Productivity Equals Worth

The first is that productivity equals worth or that our worth equals our productivity. That namely that we are only as worthy as our output. And I want you to ask yourself, are you the kind of person that feels guilty when you're not doing or someone who equates stillness or inactivity with laziness? I know for sure that it took a long time for me to rewire this particular pattern of thinking.

2. Success Equals Sacrifice

What about the thought that success equals sacrifice? That either you have to sacrifice your relationships or that you have to sacrifice your own personal health and well-being, that you constantly have to overextend yourself and that suffering is like a prerequisite to achievement and to success.

3. Value Equals Busyness

Or what about this one, that our value is equated to busyness. So we actively create these super full calendars in order to feel like we're doing enough or that we're particularly important. And if we have like a margin or a little bit of space that we're falling behind.

4. Care Means Overdoing and Overgiving

And then finally, for all of those people who are in positions of leadership or even caretaking, how many of you think that care means overdoing and overgiving? Like, you confuse self-neglect for love or loyalty to somebody else. It's like classic martyr mentality of saying yes even when it costs you your personal health and well-being.

And so reframing doesn't mean pretending these things don't exist or pretending that these thought processes don't come into our minds or just shoving them to the side because we know that they're maladaptive. It means genuinely challenging them, challenging them and how they play out in our actions and choosing a new framework. And that is in essence what it means to reframe.

The 5 Practical Reframing Techniques

So how can we practically start doing this? How can we practically start reframing the way that we think? And so I want to share with you a few powerful ways to begin this shift.

1. Name It, Say It Out Loud

The first one is to just name it, say it out loud. When you hear your inner voice stating that old belief, that old story, give it a name. So when your mind thinks, "Oh, I have to be productive. I have to be doing in order to be worthy." Name it. Is that somebody in your life that has taught you that maybe a parent, maybe an authoritative figure in your life, someone you looked up to, an old boss. Maybe you can't think of a specific person, but you can think of a name, of just naming it, of somebody in your mind. So, I don't know, make something up like Nixon, right? "Oh, there's Nixon again."

I know it sounds silly, but honestly naming it allows you to create this distance between you and it. One of the main issues here, one of the main problems is that we over-identify with these thoughts and beliefs. And if you can name it, you create some distance, like, "Oh, that's not me, that's Nixon." When you create distance between yourself and the thought, then that gives you a little bit of leverage in being able to rewrite that story.

2. Ask "What Else Might Be True?"

Another practice is asking yourself, "What else might be true?" Offering yourself alternatives or challenging that assumption. So if your thought is, for example, "If I take a break or if I rest, I'm going to fall behind." Ask yourself, what else might be true? Maybe if I rest, I'll come back more focused or if I take care of myself, I will work and lead with more clarity or, slowing down helps me get my head on straight so that I stay aligned with what really matters with my true goals and values.

Because the reality is that all of these things are true. And in order for you to recognize that, you have to offer yourself alternatives. And in order to do that, you have to challenge your assumptions.

3. Reclaim and Redefine the Meaning of Success

The third is being able to reclaim and redefine the meaning of success. And when I think about this, I think always about Arthur Brooks, who is a social psychologist and talks about the hedonic treadmill when it comes to success. And basically what he teaches is that success is a dopamine stimulator, just like food, sex, drugs, right? All of these things give us a hit of this feel good chemical. But what dopamine also does is it gives us the volition, the drive to go after the thing. So what does that mean? It means that just as you get that good feeling of achieving success, you also get more drive to achieve more success. And that gets us on this little treadmill, this never ending drive for success.

So it requires us to ask ourselves like, what is success anyway? And what definition or whose definition of success are you living by? This is an opportunity also to define your values and measure your success against those things.

So many times people will say, "My highest priority and value is my health, my family, my relationships," right? How many times have you thought to yourself, "My kids are my highest value or my greatest priority. My relationship with my partner is my greatest priority." But when we look at our to-do list, it's always undermining those highest values. We're putting our time, effort, and energy towards titles or output or recognition or validation, not towards those things that we say we value most.

So take a moment to reclaim what it means to be successful by aligning your doing with your true inherent values. And maybe you sit down and you write yourself a success statement like "success to me means feeling energized, being present with my family, doing work that is really meaningful and fulfilling and aligns with my values, or making meaningful impact, not just being busy. What is the purpose of the work that we're doing?"

4. Use Tiny Shifts in Language

The fourth practical suggestion is using tiny shifts in our language. I love this. Like swapping "I choose to" in place of "I have to." And I use this all the time in my medical weight loss practice. When patients say things like, "Oh, I have to eat a salad," or "I have to exercise." No, you don't have to do anything. But what happens when you move your body? Most likely you're going to feel good when you're on the other side, right? You release dopamine and serotonin and you mobilize the negative energy in your body to something productive and positive that feels good. You don't have to do that. You choose to do that.

So shift your language from a place that feels punitive and—you know, like, what's the word I'm looking for?—like dogmatic, like someone is forcing it on you or punishing you to something that is coming from a place of agency, independence, and choice.

Another one is, "I should. I should do this. I should do that." How about, "I want to do this," right? "I get to do that." You may think these things are trivial, but these shifts really define and determine how we feel about things. If you think about exercise, again, to use our last example, as something that you want to do, as opposed to something that you should do, again, you feel differently. You have a different energy around doing it and that translates into how you feel and that thought also translates into how you act. Do you do this activity with joy and vitality or do you do it from a place of lack and punishment?

And then another reframe is, "I don't have time." This is a huge one, guys. How many times have you told yourself, "I don't have time to prioritize my sleep, to make a good healthy food choice, to move my body, to go out to lunch or call a friend and maintain a relationship or create connection"? Time is not something that just plops into your lap. Time is created when you prioritize that thing.

So think about these and other language shifts that you can use. What are some of the things that you tell yourself? How can you shift that language so that you can, again, get back into the driver's seat, reclaim your agency, and reconnect with your values and your intentions?

5. Question Your Stress-Fueling Thoughts

So as we wrap up, I want you to ask yourself, what thoughts and beliefs are fueling my stress right now? Are these thoughts and beliefs true or are they something that's inherited like somebody else's voice? Outdated like this is old thinking this is not new present-day Adrienne thinking and how much of it is fear-based or punitive or punishing as opposed to expansive and abundant?

And then finally I want you to ask yourself: What thought or belief would support my well-being instead?

You Have a Choice

You have a choice. What happens between your two ears is totally and 100% up to you and belongs to you. So how do you want to shift? How do you want to reframe your thinking to a way that supports you, mind, body, and soul?

And here's the thing. Just noticing is powerful. Even if you don't change anything, just recognizing your typical go-to patterns and behaviors, that in of itself begins to create a shift in your inner state. It begins this softening around it, so your grip on your habitual actions and behaviors is just a little less strong.

The Path Forward

And I want to end with this. Burnout, it's not just physical, it's not just mental and emotional, but it is a reflection of how we have been taught to relate to ourselves. We can do this deep work by regulating the body, restoring our system, and reframing our thoughts and our beliefs in a way that gives us permission and agency to live and lead on our own terms.

So if you'd like to start contemplating some of these practices, I recommend that you head over to the website. You can download the Fuel Blueprint at dradrienneyoudim.com.

And if you're ready to go deeper, I would love for you to join us in our next cohort of Resilient Minds. Again, this is an eight week program of a small intimate group dedicated and designed to high achieving professionals who are ready to shift away from reactivity to calm, intentional, mindful, living, working, and being. In just two months, you will learn practical science-based skills and strategies to regulate stress, to break free from reactivity and self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns in order to fuel your mind, your body, and your purpose in a way that will profoundly change how you live, work, and play.

Our next women's cohort begins September 30th. Our men's cohort begins October 1st, and you can learn more and apply at dradrienneyoudim.com/resilient-minds.

Until then, I'm Dr. Adrienne Youdim. I hope you enjoyed this health bite, and I'm wishing you a happy and healthy week, mind, body, and soul.