Soul Joy: Ditch Burnout and Fall in Love with Life

When Your Goals Are Met but Your Journey Isn't Over: Discovering New Life Purposes

• Dr. Julie Merriman • Season 2 • Episode 4

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The quest for purpose is a lifelong journey that evolves as we move through different life stages. What happens when you've achieved all your major life goals and that once-unquenchable fire in your belly begins to fade? This fascinating exploration of life purpose delves into the sometimes disorienting period that follows major achievements.

Drawing from personal experience navigating the empty nest phase while enjoying a 34-year marriage to her "bestie," Dr. Julie Merriman offers profound insights into rediscovering purpose when your checklist of life goals has been completed. She shares her own journey of trying to reignite that motivational spark that had driven her since her twenties, acknowledging that this transition isn't depression but rather a natural evolution requiring intentional exploration.

At the heart of this discussion is the solar plexus chakra – our energetic center of purpose, motivation, and personal power. Through a thoughtfully designed four-question framework, Dr. Merriman guides listeners through discovering what truly energizes them, who they genuinely want to help, what causes align with their deepest values, and what sacrifices feel worthwhile for their next chapter. This isn't just philosophical musing but practical wellness work that helps prevent burnout, compassion fatigue, and vicarious trauma, especially for those in helping professions.

Whether you're approaching retirement, entering an empty nest phase, or simply feeling that your current purpose has run its course, this episode provides the reflective tools needed to discover your next chapter. Through grounding practices, journaling prompts, and meditation suggestions, you'll learn how to balance your solar plexus chakra and reignite that essential fire that makes waking up each day a joy. What will your next purpose be? The answer lies in these powerful questions and the thoughtful exploration they inspire.

Speaker 1:

Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to SoulJoy. Today I'm going to chat with you about life purpose or purposes. Getting clarity on your life purpose is important and y'all, they change over time, but it's a necessary component of holistic, sustainable self-care, also known as wellness. All right, welcome, welcome, welcome. I appreciate you taking a few minutes out of your day to hang out with me. I mean, really I appreciate it, thank you. So here at the Merriman Home, we you know, if you've listened to me for a hot minute, which seems to be my favorite word today but if you've listened to me for a bit, you know we've been battling cancer the cancer front both of us, but my husband's been a bit more impacted and what I've really come to appreciate is that I've been reveling in the joy that y'all I get to hang out with my bestie a lot. I mean, we've had busy, busy lives. We've been together 34 years. We we got together young, we built our careers, we've raised babies and now we're to the point where things are kind of quieting down and we're back to like it was when we were dating. I mean, it's just so fun. We just get to hang out and he is my very best friend. We get to hang out and we get to piddle around and do things that bring joy to us, and I tell you, this empty nesting thing is the best, especially when you've married your soulmate, and I was very lucky in that. Right now we're looking into some maybe planning a European cruise sometime this year, and I think that that's going to be so fab. I get to go to that marvelous playground with my handsome bestie, so that is so fun. I'm looking forward to it. But okay, professional helpers, this podcast is dedicated to preventing and overcoming the occupational hazards of the career we chose, and those hazards are burnout, compassion, fatigue and don't you forget that vicarious trauma that one can really bite you in the butt. So I'm sitting here doing this because it's my passion to try and help y'all know how to prevent those being impacted by those constructs, but also, you know it's for everyone. You don't have to be a professional helper. I just want to see us take better care of ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so maybe it's my age, you know. I'm just not sure. I've been doing lots of therapy and energy work lately, um, but I gotta be be honest. That motivation, that zest for life that got me up and had me working 24-7, which I don't recommend that. But even since my 20s I've been driven. I've been very. I had lots of goals I wanted to meet and I was going to get them done. Come hell or high water, I was going to get them done, but lately and again, maybe it's my age that zest has just kind of dissipated my therapist and I surmise that perhaps it's because I've met the goals I've set for myself in life and I had some pretty audacious goals out there that you know, I never thought twice, I just dug in and went after them and that was my life's purpose.

Speaker 1:

But now I'm in a space where I'm trying to define, trying to discern that next chapter. And you know, as I started the podcast, maybe that next chapter is hanging out with my bestie and doing all the things we didn't have time to do because we were so busy working, but maybe not. I mean absolutely that's part of it, but maybe there's more. I'm just in that space where I'm trying to find that next chapter. I'm not too old to be done. I have no inkling of wanting to retire and it's not too late to fire up some new life purpose or purposes. We can pluralize that, but not having a clearly defined purpose, really y'all.

Speaker 1:

It leaves me in kind of a funk, some days Kind of like what's it matter, some days Kind of like what's it matter? This mindset doesn't suit me, doesn't serve me, it does not fire me up. If and when you get there and I hope you don't, but if you do, it just would not serve you either we need to have that little drive, that little fire in our belly, our solar plexus balanced and working. And so, yeah, it requires more solar plexus work. You know that's the energy center that is really going to speak to me and you when we look at our life purpose. So it's time for me to really sit back and find some goals to declare and define actionable steps to get there.

Speaker 1:

And again, I'm looking for that fire in my belly. Man, I'm telling you y'all, I had it. I mean, I remember from my early 20s that fire in my belly set in and it didn't dissipate to very recently. But again, I've met those goals. It's time to find new ones. But here's what I'm doing and I'm going to share it in hopes it will work for you too. So we're going to segue into the activity I have planned for us.

Speaker 1:

But let me just clarify I'm not depressed. This isn't. And I keep myself in therapy because I think it's good and I want to continue growing. And I know as a therapist I take on other people's stuff. I have to have a place to release it. But I so I'm not depressed. But it does make me a bit sad at times because I miss that fire in my belly. I really miss that excitement, waking up, motivated and just like, whew, let's do this. So I've been working very hard recently to try and reignite that fire in my belly.

Speaker 1:

So this is the the activity I'm going to share with you. But before I do that, I just want to remind you to subscribe to my email list. Just hop on over to my website, wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom, drop down to the bottom where it talks about signing up for my newsletter, and if you do that, I will email you this podcast each week, along with the pdfs that I create that go with this activity. But the activity we're going to do today I call it again. I'm so creative with these I'm not I'm laughing at myself, but the activity. I call it discover your life purpose, or that could be plural. I believe we have an umbrella purpose, but I believe there's lots of different categories under that umbrella purpose. So I think that we can make that a plural life purposes.

Speaker 1:

But first I want you to know I go into this really deep in week six. Week six is really all about your solar plexus chakra in my book In Pursuit of Soul Joy. So if you don't have a copy, I encourage you to hop on over and get one. They're on my website. But there's simple steps that I'm going to talk you through. The first step is well, first I want you to ground yourself. Maybe you go on a walk outside, absorb some of that yummy vitamin D. Maybe you do some somatic grounding exercises, maybe some bioenergetic things to move some energy through your body, get in a headspace where you're clear. Maybe you do some breath work. I mean breath work is awesome. Maybe some meditation visualization can't. Or I mean breath work is awesome, maybe some meditation visualization.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes for me and you know, for me it's just as simple I have something perseverating in my little pea brain and I go find my amazing soulmate and I just talk to Kelly. We just have a conversation. He is so grounded and and so good about helping me explore my feelings and he's not afraid to explore his. It's just an amazing partnership that we have. But sometimes that's what I need to get grounded. So maybe you need to talk to your person. But once you feel somewhat grounded, here's the simple steps I want you to go through.

Speaker 1:

And again we're looking at life purpose. So first I want you to ask yourself what energizes you? What brings that fire in your belly to life? This y'all is an activity that you know. You're in the zone. When you're doing it, you feel aligned with your purpose in life. Time just goes by and you look up and you're like, wow, I can't believe it's that time. I've been so in this zone in a good way. So what energizes you? And you know I want you to journal about this. I'm always going to have you journal, to have you journal.

Speaker 1:

Next, I want you to ask who do you long to help? You know it brings up that fire in the belly, is it? I mean, what group interests you? Do you want to work with puppies? Do you want to work in your garden with plants? Do you want to help underprivileged kids or kids at risk? Do you want to work with the elderly? Is there a church group you want to work with? Do you want to help underprivileged kids or kids at risk? Do you want to work with the elderly? Is there a church group you want to work with? Do you want to go do yoga and just be yoga, everything? Is it politics? What group interests you?

Speaker 1:

For me, I love to train counselors. I love supervision. I love everything in that world. That kind of jazzes me. Like I just got finished at the university I work for, we're going through an accreditation process for KCRIP and I just got finished reworking the 60-hour curriculum and y'all that does jazz me. That does get the fire in my belly going. I love writing curriculum. I know it sounds blah, but I enjoy it. I enjoy teaching too. That really gets me in my zone. It might be teaching a counseling course or it might be teaching a yoga class, but I like teaching as well. What group interests you?

Speaker 1:

The third question what world cause do you value? Now, this is something that deeply matters to you. This is where your passion lies. I like to advocate. I like to advocate, for underdog isn't the right word. I came up through life. My daddy always said I did everything the hard way. I suppose that's true. You know, when one gets buried at 16, you're not making your best life choices and, trust me me, this was not my fabulous husband I have today, but having gone through that horrendous marriage really gives me a heart for women who are in a domestic violence situation or in a situation that is causing them to not have the best quality of life and not live their best life. So that's a cause that I feel very passionate about and have done work around that. So that's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

What world cause do you value that you are willing to really push some boundaries about? Next, what sacrifices are you willing to make? You're so passionate about this purpose that the sacrifice it takes and I'm talking about time, effort, money is a complete non-issue. You are going to do what it takes because this deeply matters to you and y'all. That's it.

Speaker 1:

Those are the four questions. What energizes you? Who do you long to help? What group interests you? What world cause do you value and what sacrifices are you willing to make?

Speaker 1:

I want you to sit with this information. I want you to turn it into a meditation perhaps. Maybe a walking meditation, maybe a walking meditation as you're walking in a beautiful meadow or at the park. I really encourage you to take it outside, because I think we do some of our best work outside, where nature is speaking to us, but turning it into some type of meditation to help you answer these questions and really go deeper and understand what's important to you. That's going to lead you to joy, because you're moving to balance that solar plexus chakra.

Speaker 1:

And really, as I step back, as I'm saying this, this podcast is passion for me, that reaching out to y'all and helping to encourage holistic, sustainable self-care, also known as wellness, is eminently important. And I I mean just creating this podcast, that the um sacrifice not that it's like this great sacrifice, but it does take time. I've got to write them, I've got to record them, I've got got to purchase a platform to put them out to the world. I mean, that's what I'm talking about. What's your purpose? What gets your buzz going? Take some time to dig into that. You've got to balance that solar plexus chakra. You might pop in and do a couple of solar plexus well, a couple of yoga classes that are focused on your solar plexus chakra.

Speaker 1:

As you're working on this, it's important, you're important and getting that fire in your belly fired up so you can do what makes you happy, brings you that soul, joy, man. It's worth the time. It is worth the time and I invite you to do that for you. So, okay, y'all, that's it for today. Subscribe to the podcast where you listen, leave a review and, until next time, take care of you.