Soul Joy: Ditch Burnout and Fall in Love with Life
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Soul Joy: Ditch Burnout and Fall in Love with Life
Decision Fatigue: Reclaim Your Mental Energy
Ever been asked "What's for dinner?" after a long day and felt your brain completely shut down? That's decision fatigue – the mental exhaustion that comes from making countless choices throughout your day. And for helping professionals making upwards of 40,000 decisions daily, it's a recipe for burnout.
In this revealing episode, I pull back the curtain on my own painful experience with decision fatigue during a career transition. I share the embarrassing rollercoaster of changing my mind repeatedly about leaving my day job for private practice, all because decision fatigue had hijacked my ability to think clearly. This very human struggle taught me valuable lessons about when and how to make important decisions – lessons I'm now passing on to you.
The solution isn't complicated, but it requires intention. We explore practical strategies like decision scheduling (tackling big choices early in the day), creating routines that eliminate unnecessary decisions, and setting firm time limits on your decision-making process. I'll guide you through specific techniques to preserve your mental energy for what truly matters, including the surprising power of advance planning for seemingly trivial choices like meals and outfits.
Your brain has a limited capacity for making decisions each day. Learning to work with this limitation rather than fighting against it is key to preventing burnout, reducing stress, and creating space for joy. Whether you're a therapist, healthcare worker, teacher, or anyone navigating our choice-filled world, these strategies will help you reclaim your mental energy and make decisions with confidence. Let's transform decision fatigue from your daily nemesis into an occasional visitor who knows when it's time to leave.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to SoulJoy. So today is about another somewhat unsexy topic of decision fatigue. Yeah, we're still focusing on your solar energy in an effort to help you get that balance. Being able to make decisions with confidence is a necessary component of holistic, sustainable wealth. Self-care also means wellness. All right, I just keep wanting to play that song. I think that's the second time I've done that. Anyway, welcome, hey you, glad you are here. I appreciate you taking some time to hang out with me for just a hot minute. I think today's topic is pretty oh, it's pretty important. It is so important. I wrote about it in my book In Pursuit of Soul Joy, so I'll mention that a few times as we go. But but, let's see, I haven't talked to y'all since last week.
Speaker 1:So Kelly and I my beloved we've decided to have a fun celebration for our 30th wedding anniversary in June. And y'all, it blows my little mind that it's been 30 years. I guess if you marry the right one, you know it just flies by so fast. I just remember yesterday walking out of the church and the pastor's wife stopping us and saying I want you to remember how you feel, right this moment, when y'all get upset with each other. Just stop and think about how you feel right this moment. Such sage advice. But we've decided we're going to get the gang back together. We're going to suit up Yep, the wedding dress still fits after 30 years. I'm very, very pleased about that. And the gang is going to get back together. And that's just the wedding party. We had a very small wedding. Our two boys stood up with us and a few of Kelly's buddies and one of my girlfriends read the poem Mama wrote. But anyway, we're going to get the wedding party back together. The original preacher is still alive, which is a blessing, and he's going to do just a real quick vow renewal. We're going to take some pics. Sarah Seaton, my photographer, shout out to Sarah, she is going to come and do that for us. And then we're going to come back out to the ranch and do just a real casual barbecue and the next day we're going to leave for a second honeymoon, which is actually kind of fun, although, I'll tell y'all, actually every day is like a honeymoon with this man. I love him so much. We really got lucky. In fact, I think I need to do a podcast sometime on soulmates, because I truly believe he is my soulmate. I mean, when I met him, I felt like I already knew him. That's a whole thing for another day, but anyway, we're really excited about this little celebration, so I wanted to share that with y'all.
Speaker 1:So, okay, professional helpers, this podcast is dedicated to preventing and overcoming the occupational hazards of the career we chose, specifically burnout, compassion, fatigue and vicarious trauma. But do know, this podcast is for everyone. If you happen to not be in the helping profession, please join us, because I tell you you're going to get some stuff that will help you. Okay, so do you ever experience decision fatigue? As a clinician, research tells us that we're making close to 40,000 decisions a day. Now that's on a busy day when you're seeing several clients in a day. But y'all that hurts my brain to even think about that, to even say that. That's a lot of thinking and decision making, and it's not just do I want chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream. These are pretty heavy decisions we're making and it leads to being completely worn out at the end of the day. We've got to learn techniques to prevent decision fatigue, and I've got you. I go deep into this in my book and I've created an activity for you later in this podcast. So stay tuned all the way to the end later in this podcast. So stay tuned all the way to the end.
Speaker 1:I learned on my journey, way back when, when burnout just made me toasty fried, I learned that decision making was kicking my ever-loving ass. I was not approaching it with clarity and confidence. I just didn't have the tools and I don't know. I mean, I think about it as I'm speaking and I just finished rewriting the curriculum for the program I teach in the counseling program. We don't spend much time on helping our helpers know sound decision-making techniques. But again, I've got you. I'm going to talk to you about this in the podcast and I'd go deep into in my book.
Speaker 1:But so what was happening? When I took the tumble into burnout? My solar plexus chakra was completely out of whack and this caused me to live my life full of doubting myself and even questioning my goals. Y'all I can remember I was so wishy-washy about decisions. I mean I would suffer physical pain. I can still feel, even as I say that, my solar plexus tightening up. I mean, it was not a fun time and I'm sharing this because I don't want y'all to go through this. There is hope.
Speaker 1:I can remember a specific time decision fatigue caused me some just great chagrin, just a lot of trouble. This was back when I wanted to leave my day job and I wanted to go full time in my private practice. I was full of doubt and fear and if fear is something you're dealing with, I invite you to go back to season two, episode three, for more about fear. That podcast is all about that, but for me, at this time I was really doubting myself. Fear that podcast is all about that, but for me, at this time I was really doubting myself. It was scary to leave a paycheck that I knew what it was going to be every time it hit and to go into some unknown. I think there's some normalcy to that, but I really took it. I took it to the next level, man, I was allowing myself to freak myself out and it was kicking my ever-loving earths and it prevented me from making a confident decision.
Speaker 1:And as I'll go through in the activity I'm going to take you through in just a few moments. But you know we need to make hard decisions early in the day make it, write it down, leave it alone, and I was not doing that. So what I did, do I finally got well. The other thing, y'all, I wasn't using a solid decision-making model, and I give you a solid model in my book In Pursuit of Soul Joy. And you know that's not rocket science, y'all can look those up as well, but you need decision-making models. Now I do teach this to my students who are learning to be clinicians, and even the American Counseling Association tells us, clinicians, we need to be using decision-making models when we have some ethical dilemmas we're dealing with. Well, y'all, we need to apply it to our own life as well. Just, you know, those are good tools for us to use.
Speaker 1:But I was not practicing with a solid decision-making model back when I took the tumble into burnout. But I did finally get my nerve up to ask the manager of the practice where I was practicing in the evenings, just very part-time. I asked if I could join the practice full-time and Carl was lovely and he said yes and we worked out the details. And this only led to me to sink into really hateful self-talk and overthinking and this absolutely grabbed a hold of my soul where I thought I'd made a. Really, I'm going to do this, I've had the talk, I feel good.
Speaker 1:I spiraled into fear and doubting and this great doubt overtook me. I allowed decision fatigue. See, I was in a place of decision fatigue when I kicked into all this overthinking. I allowed it to get into the way and after all the gain I had made by getting the courage up to talk to Carl the manager, I called him back. I'm embarrassed to say this. I called him back and I told him never mind, I had been mistaken, I was just going to stay at my day job. And then I tumbled into great regret and remorse. I mean, it just stormed my soul. I could feel it from head to toe. My solar plexus was just almost nauseous. I was so restless and disappointed in myself because I had faced this fear, took the steps to do what I knew I wanted to do and then backtracked and it caused me to suffer.
Speaker 1:Does any of this, can y'all relate to any of this? Any decision maybe you've tried to make? Well, finally, feeling like a fool, I had to do something. So I contacted the manager, carl. I contacted him again and I told him I was wrong. I did want to go full time into private practice with them and he was precious and showed me all kinds of grace and welcomed me with open arms, and the next day I stayed with my decision. I gave my notice at my day job and I didn't look back. I did not look back Now. I went through some turmoil to get there. I got quite a roller coaster that I created for myself. But, y'all, two months later I was making far more money at my private practice and I was far happier than I'd been at my day job. But the moral to this story is that I allowed decision fatigue to create chaos in my life.
Speaker 1:See y'all, lots of decisions wear us out. We're making lots of decisions all day long, and it wears us out. I can remember, coming home, my adorable, loving husband would say where do you want to go to eat? And I'd be like when do you want to go to eat? And I'd be like I don't know. Man, I've made so many decisions. You choose. That happens when one makes decisions all day long. It takes a lot of brain calories to weigh the decision and make the calls.
Speaker 1:You need to respect this. I mean, it's just a fact, y'all. You've got to respect it. Big decisions need to be made early in the day, by the time you get home after a long day of work that includes lots of decisions. You just don't have the bandwidth to wrestle with big ones. You need to also, as I mentioned, adopt a sound decision-making model, and this is going to help you prevent some of this decision fatigue as well.
Speaker 1:But I've got you. I've got lots of strategies for you here in a minute. But first I want you to accept that decision fatigue is real there's no shame or judgment around this and accept and embrace your human with a limited amount of energy. So just pat yourself on the face and say man, we're doing the best, we can Cut myself some slack, right, okay? So before I go into the activity, I just want to remind you to subscribe to my email list to get the weekly podcast, which includes I go in and I make you a really nice PDF of this activity I'm about to go over, and then I email the podcast episode and the activity to you each week. On my website you can just sign up for the newsletter. I've got a really slick seven-day self-care challenge that I invite you to check out. I've gotten a lot of good feedback on that and that's just an assign. Okay. So a quick drink of water. The activity for today I call it combat decision fatigue.
Speaker 1:And y'all, to combat decision fatigue, you've got to prioritize sleep, create routines, limit choices, delegate tasks and make important decisions early in the day. I think that's chapter five in my book Strategies I'm going to share here. They are Number one's chapter five in my book Strategies I'm going to share here. They are Number one prioritize sleep and self-care. Okay, so good enough, sleep right. Studies show that sleep deprivation significantly, significantly impairs decision-making abilities. So you want to aim for seven to nine hours of quality sleep each night. That's sleep hygiene. If you're having troubles, talk with your doc. Sometimes I will utilize melatonin, which is a naturally produced by our body, a natural herb. That kind of helps me out. I'm not a doctor. Talk to your doctor about that stuff.
Speaker 1:You want to practice holistic, holistic, sustainable self-care, read in pursuit of soul joy and continue to listen to this podcast and meanwhile engage in activities that help you relax and reduce stress, such as exercise, meditation, walking around in nature and especially with your shoes off. Summer's just around the corner. And you want to eat a healthy diet with proper nutrition. It's essential for maintaining those energy levels that you need for positive cognitive function energy levels that you need for positive cognitive function, and you want to. You know. You want to limit alcohol, you want to practice everything in moderation. So, anyway, try to be as clean as you can.
Speaker 1:The next thing you want to do is simplify your life and reduce choices. So this means you can create routines right, establish daily routines for tasks like getting ready, eating meals, going to bed, to reduce the need for constant decision making. It's nine o'clock, I don't think about it. Time to go to bed All day. Sunday. I meal prep All week. I've got the menu, I know exactly what I'm going to make. I mean it. Just it simplifies life. You want to limit choices. When faced with too many options, this can overwhelm us, so you want to narrow your choices to a manageable number.
Speaker 1:You want to delegate tasks. Sometimes that takes some skill to learn to delegate, because so many, so often we think if we don't do it, it won't get done right and sugar. That's not true. Getting done is the battle, so it doesn't have to be done just like you want it to Release and delegate If possible. Delegate tasks to others to reduce your workload and the number of decisions you have to make and then and I think this is really sage make decisions in advance. I do this well.
Speaker 1:Now that I work more from home I don't do it as much, but when I worked at the university in person, I would plan my weekly outfits. I'd get them all on Sunday. I'd spend time to plan my outfit for each day of the week, make getting ready in the mornings very peaceful. I'd meal prep on Sundays, as I mentioned a moment ago. It makes meals much easier. And activities that you're going to do for the week have those planned out. Like I know, I'm going to ride my Peloton bike on Monday, I'm going to do Pilates on Tuesday, I'm going to lift weights on Wednesday and then I'm going to cycle back through that schedule throughout the week. I've already made those decisions, so I don't have to battle myself in the morning. I don't exercise, I don't get out of bed. It's already done. It's bike day. Get up, go out to the garage, exercise. So making those decisions in advance really makes your life easier.
Speaker 1:Okay, and here's what I was messing up when I around the story I just shared with you you want to make important decisions early. I was thinking about it after work and my brain was fried by that time. So you want to make important decisions early. Do the most important things first. Tackle the most demanding tasks early in the day, when you have more mental energy, and maybe that means you have to rearrange your calendar a bit, but I tell you that's going to be your best friend. Make those decisions early. You want to set time limits for decisions.
Speaker 1:If you find yourself struggling to make a decision, set a time limit. Make a decision based on the available information. Be done with it. Write it down, put it in ink, done with it. Don't overthink decisions. See, that's what I did, and I'm so thankful for Carl all these years later that he never shaved me, never blinked his eyes, just held grace and space for me and welcomed me in. I'm in, I'm out, I'm in. He was so kind. But don't overthink decisions. Once you've made a decision, move on. Do not dwell on it and I know that's easier said than done, but you've got to build that neural pathway Practice, practice, practice.
Speaker 1:And then fourth this is the last area you need to take breaks and recharge. Take regular breaks, step away from your work or tasks to give your brain a chance to rest and recharge. Go, sit outside, look at the clouds, put on a piano, a meditation I like piano, whatever kind of meditation you like and close your eyes and unplug for five minutes. This, your brain needs this reset. You can also it's almost it's an acupuncture place to rub your earlobes as you're doing that, resting. It's amazing how that energizes you. But take those regular breaks.
Speaker 1:Engage in activities you enjoy. You know and I've said this a lot and maybe I say it more in the book and I haven't said so much on the podcast but our goal is not to remove things from our life. Our goal is to add things of joy into our life, so that we have created a life that is yummy and one that we have fallen in love with. So you want to engage in activities you enjoy. Make time for those activities. They're going to help you find joy and they're going to help you relax and that's going to help you reduce stress and improve your mood. And, finally, practice mindfulness.
Speaker 1:Engage in mindfulness exercises to help you stay present and reduce mental clutter. Oh, my Atlanta, that feels so good to have that mental clutter shut down. So there's lots and lots of meditations that you can find on YouTube. Maybe you have an app. There's all kinds of apps I like to play like I know I'm working on my solar chakra. I go to YouTube and find a frequency that talks to my solar plexus chakra and I play that while I'm working and I find that helps me reduce stress and reduce that mental clutter as well. So there's lots of techniques, but that's it for today. I thank you for joining me today. Subscribe to my podcast wherever you listen to podcasts, leave a review to help me reach more people and until next time, take care of you.