Soul Joy: Ditch Burnout and Fall in Love with Life

Rewiring Your Brain Through Gratitude: A Helper's Guide

• Dr. Julie Merriman • Season 2 • Episode 21

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Feeling exhausted by the constant focus on problems and challenges in your helping work? You're not alone. As professional helpers, we spend our days analyzing crises, addressing suffering, and navigating complex systems. This essential work keeps our focus on difficulties—often overshadowing the good that exists, the progress our clients make, and our own inherent capacity for resilience.

Gratitude offers a powerful antidote to this professional tunnel vision. Far more than just a polite "thank you," gratitude represents an active practice and conscious mindset that can transform both our wellbeing and effectiveness. The science is compelling: practicing gratitude activates brain regions associated with reward and connection, boosts dopamine and oxytocin, and potentially reduces cortisol—literally rewiring our brains for greater resilience. For helpers specifically, gratitude prevents burnout, enhances genuine empathy, improves professional relationships, increases job satisfaction, and strengthens resilience.

This transformative practice doesn't require adding overwhelming tasks to your already demanding schedule. Simple, consistent actions yield significant benefits: keeping a brief gratitude journal, creating mindful appreciation moments throughout your day, performing a "three good things" debrief, writing sincere thank-you notes, or implementing team gratitude shares. These practices counteract our brain's negativity bias and train our minds to notice the positive elements all around us. The "Gratitude Ripple" exercise included in this episode guides you through identifying gratitude moments, exploring their effects, and creating an actionable plan to integrate gratitude into your professional life.

Remember that cultivating gratitude isn't about ignoring suffering or suppressing difficult emotions—it's about building capacity to see light even when immersed in shadows. By consciously acknowledging the good, you're empowering yourself to show up day after day with renewed energy and purpose. Ready to transform your experience? Visit juliemerrimanphd.com for weekly resources and the bonus PDF activity that accompanies this episode.

Speaker 1:

Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to SoulJoy. Today we're exploring the crown chakra still, but shifting the focus not to challenges we face but to a profound practice that can transform our experience of those challenges, cultivating gratitude because, y'all, this is a very necessary component of holistic, sustainable self-care, also known as wellness. All right, all right, all right. I hope everyone is doing great today. Oh, I know we're doing pretty good here at the Merriman Compound. I have just scripted and I'm creating another podcast that's called Hotter After 50. It's all about getting our sex lives back on track and those of us who are over 50, ladies. I think you know what I'm talking about, but I've had so much fun scripting this podcast and I've also outlined my new book today. I've been productive today, so, and the Hubs and I have planned a trip to Barcelona, spain. I'm really excited. We're going to fly over and hang around, kind of kick about Spain for several days and then hop on a boat and float back to the States, so that should be fun and we'll make some stops along the way. So, again, busy day here at the Merrimack Compound. Oh so, professional Helpers.

Speaker 1:

This podcast is dedicated to preventing and overcoming the occupational hazards of the career we chose. Specifically, we want to prevent and overcome burnout, compassion, fatigue and vicarious trauma. That's a passion of mine and I am so thrilled that you've tuned in to talk about this stuff. So y'all, as helpers, our days are often spent, you know, just immersed in problems and vulnerabilities and deficits. We analyze crises, we address suffering, navigate complex systems, and this focuses on what's difficult. Of course it's essential to our work, but it is a focus on what's difficult. Of course it's essential to our work, but it is a focus on what's difficult. But when our lens is constantly zoomed on the problems, it's easy for the immense good, the progress our clients make, the moments of connection and even our own inherent capacity to be overshadowed. And we see that in our clients all the time and we try to help them find a way to move past that overshadowing. But how often, my friend, do you do that for yourself?

Speaker 1:

Gratitude, in this context, is far more than a fleeting emotion or a polite thank you Y'all. It's an active practice, a conscious choice of focus and it's a really powerful mindset that can profoundly impact our well-being and, by extension, our professional effectiveness, those clinical decisions we're making. It's not about ignoring pain. We don't do that. We feel what we need to feel, just like we tell our clients and we don't ignore injustices. But this gratitude is about actively acknowledging the good that exists, because it does, even amidst all the difficulty that we face and that our clients face.

Speaker 1:

Today, we'll explore why gratitude is particularly vital for us as helpers, and we're going to delve into the practice behind its benefits and other practical and accessible strategies you can implement right this minute, as you're listening to this podcast, to weave this transformative practice into your demanding professional life, because my goal for y'all is to get some relief, find a place where you can just nurture yourself so that you can sustain the good work that you do. So first, y'all, let's define gratitude beyond the superficial. It's not about toxic positivity that doesn't help anyone, or pretending everything is fine when it's not Genuine. Gratitude involves the following, and these are things that I do for y'all. When I'm scripting this stuff, I go and I research and I enjoy it. I mean, I'm a PhD, I like to research, so it's fun to put this together for you. But these bullet points are the ones that I believe to be very important for us as we look at a gratitude practice.

Speaker 1:

But gratitude involves active acknowledgement. We're consciously recognizing and appreciating the good things, be it big or small, that are present in your life and your work. Next, there's source recognition, and this is understanding that all good things come from external sources, right, the support of colleagues, the resilience of a client, the inherent beauty of nature, or maybe even just the functioning of your own body. I know, every time I am on my Peloton bicycle and I'm trying to keep up with those little young coaches I mean, they're virtual, but I'm still trying to keep up with them I give thanks for my body, that at 61, it's still functioning like it does and pushing itself for fitness. It just that is an amazing thing what our body can do, and it's a great thing to be grateful for. And then the other bullet would be your choice of focus. So, y'all, it's a deliberate act of shifting your attention towards what is working, what you do have and what you are receiving. Even while acknowledging it can be difficult.

Speaker 1:

The impact of gratitude is more than just a nice feeling. It's, I mean, and there's a growing body of science to back this. And the science highlights the profound psychology and psychological and physiological benefits of gratitude. So here's what neuroscience is telling us, just as a review. I'm sure you all know this. But just as a review us, just as a review, I'm sure y'all know this. But just as a review, practicing gratitude has been shown to activate brain regions associated with reward. That's pretty cool With social bonding and also with moral cognition, like the medial prefrontal cortex.

Speaker 1:

So neuroscience is showing that gratitude helps with our bonding. Think of attachment theory and that moral cognition that relies on that prefrontal cortex. It can also boost transmitters like dopamine and oxytocin. Who doesn't love those? Y'all know these are linked to pleasure and connection. Yeah, oxytocin, that love hormone. That's why I mean, that's why our sex life is so important with our husband or our partner. It helps to help us feel connected and as humans we need to feel that connection. And While we're boosting these neurotransmitters, it can potentially reduce cortisol, and y'all know that's the stress hormone. So, essentially, gratitude can help rewire your brain for greater positivity and resilience.

Speaker 1:

Next, the psychological benefits are loud and proud. Next, the psychological benefits are loud and proud. Studies show that grateful individuals tend to experience more positive emotions. You know, like joy, contentment, optimism. I know when I am really working hard in my therapy with my therapist I have been known to experience spontaneous joy through the week and I think that is just amazing. But she has me focusing y'all on the gratitude component so that I'm getting more of a dopamine hit and joy is more open to me. This gratitude can also reduce levels of envy and resentment and regret Y'all. It can help you improve sleep quality, strengthen coping mechanisms and boost overall life satisfaction. And it's free, okay. So specific professional benefits for helpers helpers such as we are counselors, doctors, teachers, I mean there's all kinds of helpers.

Speaker 1:

But gratitude can help with burnout prevention and I know the research I did with my disser back in the day showed this as well. I mean, there's lots of research studies that show this. But burnout prevention backed by gratitude. This is because you're shifting focus from constant depletion to acknowledging replenishment and positive aspects. And there's gratitude that acts as a powerful buffer against burnout and helps process the emotional weight you know of the secondary trauma that we're picking up all day and as we're working with our clients and patients. There's also enhanced empathy and compassion because, y'all, when you appreciate your own resources, the good in your life, you're better equipped to show up with genuine, non-enmeshed empathy for others and you do this without feeling resentment or over-responsibility. And then there's improved professional relationships. So you're expressing sincere gratitude to colleagues, supervisors, team members, and this helps to strengthen bonds, it helps to build trust and it also fosters a more supportive and collaborative work environment.

Speaker 1:

All good things. A place you want to show up and go to work. Then there's greater job satisfaction and meaning. So this is regularly acknowledging the positive impacts, even small ones, which reconnects you to the fundamental why of your work, and I talk about why. A lot, see, this helps. You see, beyond the administrative task keeping your notes up to date and the challenging moments to the profound meaning in what you do, because every note we write well, I can't be the only one, and I know my supervisees fuss about it too I can be the only one who's like, oh, I got to do that note, but it's not the note, it's the greater purpose, it's the profound meaning of that note means that I got to meet with a client and do some good today. How amazing is that? Then there's increased resilience. See, grateful people tend to cope better with stress and trauma. They see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. So y'all these are all good things.

Speaker 1:

How can we actively cultivate gratitude, especially when our professional lives are so very demanding. It's about integrating small, consistent practices. It's not about adding in more overwhelming tasks. Okay, so you want to keep a really brief gratitude journal how you're going to, each day, or a few times a week, quickly jot down three to five specific things you're grateful for, because that brings your attention to it. Now you want to be specific. Instead of saying I'm grateful for my job, you want to try. I'm grateful for the way my client showed up today and showed a small sign of progress which reminded me of the impact of my work. Or maybe I'm grateful for my colleague who offered to cover for me when I needed a break. The benefit here this is that neuroscience. This is going to help rewire your brain to actively scan for positives throughout your day, because our brain is wired to look for negatives. That's how our ancestors survived. We're always looking for what's wrong, what's the danger, if you will, in the environment. And the more we practice gratitude, the more it rewires our brain to calm the hell down and look through positives throughout your day.

Speaker 1:

Next, you want to have a mindful approach or, excuse me, a mindful appreciation. You want to have mindful appreciation moments. So this means you pick a few moments throughout your day. You just simply pause and consciously appreciate something mundane the taste of your coffee, the comfort of your chair, the quiet moment between tasks, the sun coming through the window, moment between tasks, the sun coming through the window. See, this engages your senses and really helps you to savor the experience. And the benefit is that it breaks negative thought patterns and helps to ground you in the present moment by shifting your perspective. I mean easy peasy, none of these things cost a penny.

Speaker 1:

Next, the three good things debrief. Okay, so at the end of your workday or before you go to bed or whenever it works best for you, maybe you're more of a morning person, but you mentally or physically list three good things that happened, no matter how small, and you briefly reflect on why they happened. This reinforces positive experiences and helps you end the day on a constructive note or start the day on a constructive note. The benefit here is that it helps counteract the natural tendency y'all to dwell on challenges, that it helps counteract the natural tendency y'all to dwell on challenges and this aids in emotional regulation, and that is a good thing for all of us. Then you want to look at having a practicing, rather expressive gratitude, and this could be via letters or visits. You periodically write a sincere letter or email or make a conscious effort to thank someone who has positively impacted you professionally. Yeah, it could be your mentor, a colleague, a supervisor, even a client, and of course, that's within ethical boundaries.

Speaker 1:

I have done this and I tell you and I'm thinking about oh, I looked up a high school teacher that really had a profound impact on my life. I did not like high school. I was ready to drop out of high school Thanks to this teacher and a counselor at a little bitty high school in Glen Rose, texas. These two ladies intervened in my life and instead of quitting school my junior year, they found a way for me to, because this was what? Was it? 79? No, this was 80. Anyway, 79 or 80. Anyway, they and we didn't have all this virtual stuff they found a way for me to take a correspondence course from Texas Tech University where later on I would go to get my PhD, and I completed those two courses. I'd moved around a lot. I bumped, daddy, moved us all. He was an engineer for Bell Helicopter and we moved a lot, I mean states. So I was bouncing back and forth from Arizona to Texas. But all this to say, I had enough credits with these two correspondence courses to graduate my junior year and that was a profound thing for me that these two women cared enough about me to do this for me. So one day I went. My mom has a ranch in Glen Rose, so I'm there periodically.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, I was in Glen Rose and I decided to look up this English teacher. She always made me feel like I was more than I believed I was and anyway I thanked her. I let her know what I had done with my life and what an influence she had had on this, just the gratitude I had for her. And she was sadly dying of cancer at the time and didn't have a lot longer to live. I had no idea at the time when I looked her up. But I tell you, I think that taking the time to express that gratitude impacted me probably more than her, because it just felt so good to let her know what a difference she had made in my life. So that's a lot about that, but I just really think it's important for us to take the time to express gratitude. We always hear about people bitching and moaning to us when things don't go right, but it's rare for people to take the time to let us know when things did go right.

Speaker 1:

When you do express your gratitude, be specific about what you're grateful for and how it impacted you. The benefit here is that it deepens relationships and creates a powerful positive feedback loop for both parties. And then the last one would be team gratitude share. So this is this suggests starting or ending a team meeting with a brief round where everyone shares one thing they're grateful for, either professionally or personally. I work for an organization in Abilene and Michael called these New Horizons. It's the name of the organization. It's an adoption and a residential treatment facility, but anyway, he would have everyone do heart stories at our meetings and I tell you they were pretty powerful. Tears would come up.

Speaker 1:

I think that this is a great tradition to start with a team. The tip here is you want to keep it quick and focused, to respect time. But the benefit is that it fosters a more positive team culture and a shared sense of appreciation. We're all out there doing hard work. It feels good to be able to share and be supported. So y'all remember cultivated gratitude is a practice, it's not a destination. It doesn't mean ignoring suffering or suppressing difficult emotions. You've got to get those. You've got to feel your feels. This is about building your capacity to see the light, even when you're deeply immersed in the shadows. Even when you're deeply immersed in the shadows, it's an act of radical self-care that empowers you to continue showing up day after day with renewed energy and purpose. By consciously choosing to look for and acknowledge the good, you're not just making yourself feel better, you're building resilience, deepening connections and, ultimately, becoming an even more effective and sustainable helper.

Speaker 1:

Okay, now it's time for our quick commercial. Please subscribe to my email list. You'll get the weekly email that I prepare for you, along with the bonus PDF that I prepare each week of the activity that I've created for you. All you have to do is hop on over to my website, wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom, and just sign up on the weekly, weekly sign up on the email list, or sign up for my self-care challenge. That'll put you on the email list too, and there's some fun stuff on that on my website, so I invite you to check it out. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so the activity today I have called the Gratitude Ripple, and it's a practice for helping professionals. So this activity is designed to help you actively engage with the concepts from this episode. From this episode, through guided reflection and a short practical exercise, you're going to explore how gratitude shows up in your professional life and develop strategies to integrate it more consistently. So step one would be to re-listen to this episode, where you're at a place where you can just sit quietly and really soak it in. But you can do this regardless. You don't have to do that. But you would re-listen to the episode and identify gratitude moments as you listen, pay close attention to the examples of gratitude practices and their benefits that we went over earlier.

Speaker 1:

And then, in step one, you're going to identify two to three specific moments from your recent professional life within the last week or two where you experience gratitude, if even momentarily, and y'all this could be big or small. Client thanked me for sincerely supporting them. My team rallied together to solve a difficult problem. I had a moment of clarity, helped me navigate a really complex situation. I appreciated the supportive email I got from my supervisor. I mean it could be anything. Supportive email I got from my supervisor. I mean it could be anything.

Speaker 1:

Once you've identified those, in step two you're going to explore the ripple effect. So, for each moment you identified in step one, you explore the ripple effect of gratitude. And this is done by considering these questions how did that moment of gratitude affect you emotionally? Did it boost your mood, reduce stress, increase your sense of connection? How did it affect your actions or your approach to your work? Did it make you more patient, more creative, more energetic? How did it affect your interactions with others? Were you more compassionate, maybe more collaborative? Did you find more appreciation in those connections? And then, did it have any lasting impact beyond that specific moment? So that's the ripple effect that we're looking at.

Speaker 1:

And then step three, the gratitude pause and practice. You choose one of the gratitude moments from step one and you close your eyes and bring that moment vividly into your mind and you spend several moments just fully reliving the experience. You're going to focus on what did you see, hear, feel, smell, even taste in the moment, what thoughts were going through your mind, what physical sensations did you experience and where in your body did you experience those? And once you've done that focus, you note your observations. What did you notice about your body and your emotions as you relive the experience? Did any new insights or appreciations emerge, and then you're going to take it to step four, which of course, it's Merriman.

Speaker 1:

We're going to do an action plan, because we can't If we think it, it's not going to get done. We have to think it, plan it, activate it. So you're going to choose one gratitude practice from the podcast we went over the brief journal, the mindful appreciation moments, three good things, debrief, expressive gratitude, and then the team share, and you're going to choose one of those that you're willing to commit to implementing in the next week and then you're going to write down the action plan, the specific practice, how often, when and where you're going to do it, and a brief statement of your commitment to integrating the practice. Okay, that's all for this episode of Soul Joy. I thank y'all so much for tuning in and for your unwavering dedication. Until next time, take a moment to notice, to appreciate and to feel the transformative power of gratitude. Subscribe to my podcast and leave a review, please, to help me reach more folks. And until next time, take care of you.