Why You're Addicted to Being Needed and How This Leads to Burnout - Balance Your Heart Chakra

If you stopped fixing everyone's problems today—right this second—would you still feel valuable, or would you panic? If you hesitated, I need you to know something: You aren't just "kind." You are addicted to being needed.

For 50 years, the "Good Girl" identity has ruled your life, convincing you that your worth is transactional—that you only matter as long as you are useful. But that identity is a parasite. This isn't service; it is a trauma response that turns your Heart Chakra into a one-way valve, letting energy out but never allowing love in.

In this episode, Dr. Julie performs surgery on your martyrdom. You will discover why "over-giving" is actually a defense mechanism and how to repair the energetic blockages preventing you from receiving. We introduce the excruciatingly powerful "Mirror Work" exercise, designed to force you to finally see—and love—the woman you have been neglecting.

You are enough even when you are "useless." Press play to learn how to disappoint others without guilt and start falling in love with yourself.

This podcast supports women healers over 50 navigating burnout, compassion fatigue, and midlife transitions with strategies for nervous system regulation, trauma-informed boundaries, and chakra alignment to heal resentment and self-neglect while cultivating soul joy, radiance, and a purposeful next chapter of freedom and inner peace.

Burnout isn’t your failure—it’s the cost of caring too long without support.
In Pursuit of Soul Joy: A 12-Week Guide for Overcoming Burnout and Compassion Fatigue is written for women healers ready to stop surviving and start living again.

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Reach out to Dr. Julie - Tell her how you're feeling to get a personalized plan to feel alive and thrive.

Episodes drop every Tuesday at 5am and every Friday at noon.

Special guest episodes drop the 4th Thursday of every month at 7am.

Transcript

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Welcome to the 12 Days of Radiance Reset. We're ditching the holiday overwhelmed to take you from exhausted and trapped to radiant and free. This is your end of year connection. All right, so if you've stopped fixing everyone's problems today, write this second. Would you feel valuable? If the answer is no, or even if you hesitated? I need you to know something. You aren't just kind. You are addicted to being needed, and it's exhausting you. Empowering brilliant women in healthcare over 50 to transform burnout and compassion fatigue into renewed passion. Reigniting your spark to create a life that energizes you every single day. I'm your host, Dr. Jules. Let's get to it. Today we are performing surgery, the good girl identity that has ruled your life for over 50 years. Girl, you need to listen to the end of this episode because we are going to uncover why overgiving is actually a trauma response, not a personality trait. We're going to work on the heart chakra. If you are a healer, this is likely blocked by a heart wall of grief and un receive love, and I'm teaching you mirror work. This exercise might make you cry, but it is the only way to find. The self-love you have been chasing. I wanna talk to you about the biology of the good girl.'Cause I mean, if you're over 50 like me, I mean I'm over 60. I'm a child of the sixties. Life was a little different back then. Um, being a good girl with survival in my household. But let's talk about the biology. Often this hits hard during our empty nest phase or a career transition. Why? Because when the kids leave or the career peaks, the good girl panics. She panics because her identity is transactional. She believes I'm only worthy as long as I'm serving someone else. When there is no one to fix, she faces a terrifying identity crisis and a total lack of purpose. And here's the hard truth, real self-care. It is not a spa day, it is not a bubble bath. Real self-care is the capacity to disappoint others without guilt. It is knowing you exist even when you aren't useful. So energetically, this lives in your heart chakra and you might think, ah, girl, my heart chakra is fine. I give love to everyone. And that is exactly the problem most healers. Have a one way valve in their heart. I think of as relationships as one way streets, right? They just, it, it goes one way. It pumps love out effortlessly. But when love tries to come in, when someone tries to care for you, you deflect. You say, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. That valve is broken. That blockage causes spiritual heart failure. It leaves you feeling lonely even when you are surrounded by people. So how do we fix the valve? We're gonna do a heart surgery here. We have to go to the source. We are going to do mirror work. So later today, I know you're busy right at this moment, but later today, I want you to find a mirror where you can be alone. I want you to look directly in your own left eye. The left eye connects to the right brain, the emotional brain, and I want you to set a timer on your phone for two minutes. You just look at her. I want you to say these words out loud. I want you to say these words out loud. I love you. I am listening. You don't have to do anything to be worthy. It is going to feel excruciatingly uncomfortable. And you might wanna look away, but don't sweet soul, you must sit with a discomfort. That discomfort is the healing happening in real time. You are worthy just because you exist, not because you fixed it, not because you saved them, just because you are you. And I have to ask you, are you the type of archetype who fights for everyone but herself? You need to know. You need to take my watch, your burnout, compassion fatigue, archetype quiz that's linked in the show notes right now. You are enough and we rise together. If this episode hit home, don't just nod and move on. Give yourself what you actually need. Tap the show notes right now to grab your free Compassion Fatigue Cure Starter Guide, or. The burnout to Radiance Reset. And girl, if you know another woman healer who's running on empty, please share this episode.