From Purpose to Resentment: The Hidden Impact of Burnout and Compassion Fatigue

Do you feel invisible at work, overwhelmed by responsibility, and silently carrying resentment while others see you as "the strong one"? If you’re ashamed of that resentment, know this: nothing is wrong with you.

In this episode of Compassion Fatigue Cure, we explore the hidden messages behind resentment — a key indicator from your nervous system signaling burnout and compassion fatigue, particularly among women healers over 50. Discover why compassion fatigue muffles your voice and burnout drives over-functioning, and how these patterns cause a heart-chakra and throat-chakra disconnect, trapping your truth inside.

You'll learn about The Resentment Receipt, a grounded somatic healing practice designed to help you reclaim your agency without upheaval. This episode is for you if you carry others’ burdens while your own needs remain invisible, if guilt arises from wanting more or wanting out, or if exhaustion tempts you to disappear. Reclaim your purpose and your body’s wisdom without giving up your calling.

Resentment is not your problem—it's your nervous system asking for attention to heal from emotional exhaustion, compassion fatigue, and burnout. Take the quiz below to identify your burnout pattern and start your somatic recovery journey.

We rise together, nurturing clarity, stability, and restoration through polyvagal theory, chakra alignment, and embodied boundary setting.

If this episode feels uncomfortably accurate, your body is asking for clarity.
Take the Quiz below to identify your specific burnout pattern and your next step toward relief and restoration.

Resentment isn’t the problem.
It’s the message.
And your nervous system has been trying to get your attention.

We rise together.

This podcast is for women healers over 50 navigating burnout and compassion fatigue who want nervous-system-informed insight into exhaustion, purpose loss, polyvagal regulation, chakra healing, and embodied recovery so they can move from survival into clarity, stability, and restoration.

Burnout isn’t your failure—it’s the cost of caring too long without support.
In Pursuit of Soul Joy: A 12-Week Guide for Overcoming Burnout and Compassion Fatigue is written for women healers ready to stop surviving and start living again.

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Episodes drop every Tuesday at 5am and every Friday at noon.

Special guest episodes drop the 4th Thursday of every month at 7am.

Transcript

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Okay. If you feel invisible at work, trapped by responsibility and ashamed of your resentment, here's what you need to know. That resentment is your body's brilliance, not your breakdown. Empowering brilliant women in healthcare over 50 to transform burnout and compassion fatigue into renewed passion. Reigniting your spark to create a life that energizes you every single day. I'm your host, Dr. Jules. Let's get to it. So stay with me until the very end. I'm gonna give you three things that's gonna change how you understand what's happening in your beautiful body and your work life. So first I'm gonna show you why resentment is actually a sophisticated nervous system alarm, not a character flaw. Second, I'm going to explain the energetic reason women healers lose their voice and their sense of agency over time. It's got everything to do with your heart chakra and that throat chakra. And third, I'm gonna walk you through something I call the resentment receipt. And this is very active and it's gonna get you embodied. So if you're listening to this, there's a chance that you might be living a life that looks really successful from the outside, but could feel completely unseen on the inside. And maybe you're the one, everyone depends on the capable one, the one who is not allowed to complain. And somewhere along the way, you stopped expecting anyone to notice what you need. Because honestly, you're not even sure you're allowed to need anything anymore. But today we're talking about the kind of resentment that builds so quietly. You barely notice it until one day you realize you're fantasizing about disappearing. You don't wanna be responsible for a single other human for five whole minutes. And if that resonates with you in any way, you are in the right place. So let's start here. Resentment is not bitterness. Resentment is unmet need, and for women healers over 50 resentment often shows up as this specific constellation of feelings feeling completely invisible, even though you're doing everything feeling trapped by obligation and responsibility. Guilt for wanting more. Or wanting out fantasizing about escape, but feeling too responsible to actually leave. And here's what actually is happening in your body. As resentment builds, there's a concept in stress research called allostatic load. And it's basically the cumulative wear and tear on your body from chronic stress. And what researchers have found is that allostatic load hits us gals, especially in a caregiving profession, far harder and earlier than any other demographic. And this is because. Of the emotional labor that we're experiencing y'all. The work we do is the kind of work where you regulate your own feelings to manage someone else's, and this requires massive amounts of energy's why we're exhausted at the end of the day, and when that emotional labor happens without agency, meaning you don't get to choose when, how, or whether you do it. Your nervous system starts sending distress signals. Resentment is one of those signals. It's your body saying, we're given more than we're receiving, and we have no control over the flow. And now I think this part is pretty interesting. Dr. Kristin Neff. A great researcher here in the state of Texas, she researches self-compassion and her research shows that women who were socialized to be easy, capable, low maintenance actually have a harder time recognizing their own needs as legitimate. They've been rewarded their whole lives for not needing much. You know, for being the ones who make things easier for everyone else. So when resentment shows up, they don't think, oh, I need something. No, no, no, no. And I've been guilty of this. The automatic think is, oh my God, what's wrong with me? Why am I being so ungrateful? Why am I being so hard to get along with? But listen carefully. Resentment is not in gratitude. It's boundary exhaustion. Your nervous system is trying to tell you that the math is not working out. You've been operating in a deficit for so long that your body is literally screaming for equilibrium, and then there's a cruel part. The systems you work for, healthcare, education, social work, academia, they're designed to extract maximum emotional labor from you while giving you minimal control over your conditions. So it stands to reason that resentment isn't anyone's personal failure. It's a completely rational response to workplace induced traumatic dissociation. So it's more about the system. Then it's about you. Your body is reacting to the system you're in. So let's explore how we got here, right? Because I'm guessing none of us started our career feeling invisible. God, wasn't it exciting when we first started? Remember thinking, I can't believe I get to do this. I can't believe I'm actually a nurse or a professor, or a counselor, or a physician or a teacher. I mean, all those things. We were so excited. We did not feel invisible. We started with a purpose, our sacred calling. We started with fire and with a voice. So what the hell happened? Many women, healers, y'all, we learned very early that sometimes in childhood, maybe in training, that being easy to work with was rewarded that not making waves kept you safe, that your value was in how much you could handle. Without complaint. I've only recently started setting some strong boundaries that should have been set 30 something years ago, and I'm astounded how people react to boundaries. They're all warm and fuzzy. If you're the people, please are doing whatever they want. But once boundaries start getting set, whew. Whole different situation. And that's okay because setting the boundaries is my mental health. It's my livelihood as it is yours. I'm just saying be prepared. Be prepared. People do react boundaries, but we have to set boundaries. We can't be the one that can just go on without complaining because over time, y'all, yeah, over time. We learned that truth telling became dangerous. Your needs became inconvenient and silence became survival, and this is what I call the floating head of competence. It's when you've learned to dissociate from your body and your needs so completely that you're just this highly functioning brain floating through your day, managing everyone else's crisis. While your own body is screaming for attention, you adapted brilliantly. I might add because at, because adaptation is what kept you employed, kept you valued, kept you safe In systems that don't reward women for having boundaries. But here's the cost. Invisibility doesn't form because you disappeared. It forms because you adapted so well that people stop seeing you as someone with needs. They see you as the solution, the fixer, and at some point you started seeing yourself that way. And I, I've got something for you here, so hang around. I wanna explore the heart and throat chakras because by bringing these in, we're gonna look at what's happening energetically, because this is where things get really interesting. In the chakra system, resentment lives in the space between your heart and throat chakra and understanding this connection is going to change everything. See your heart show. Your heart chakra is located at the center of your chest and it's your center of giving, receiving love and connection. And when it's where compassion lives. It is where you feel empathy for your patients, your clients, your students, your family. It's the chakra that makes you good at what you do. Your throat chakra is located for in your throat. It's your center of truth. It's your center of expression, voice boundaries. It's where you speak your needs, where you say no and where you advocate for yourself. Here's what happens when you're in compassion fatigue. Your heart chakra is wide ass open, pouring out compassion care, energy, love. You're giving constantly. You're attuned to everyone else's pain. You're absorbing their suffering and trying to alchemize it, but your throat. It's been slowly closing because every time you wanted to say, I cannot take another client, another patient, another student, or I need help, or This isn't sustainable, the system punished that truth. And you learn to swallow it. And my friends, you probably learned this in some relationships that don't feel good in your personal life as well, when your heart is open, but your throat is closed, resentment forms and the space between them. Hear that again? Heart is open. You're pouring out Love Throat is closed. You're not speaking. Your truth equates to resentment. It's like a traffic jam of unexpressed. It's like a traffic jam of unexpressed truth. All that love you've been giving. It's real, but it's been flowing out without the balancing force of truth flowing out too. You've been loving people. Serving people, caring for people. But you haven't been telling the truth about what that cost you. So let's go back to one of my faves, the research on polyvagal theory. Good old Dr. Po Hayes. His work shows us that the vagus nerve that runs right through your throat. Is directly connected to your capacity for social engagement and self-advocacy. When your throat chakra is blocked, your vagus nerve is literally constricted. You lose access to the part of your nervous system that helps you speak up and set boundaries and maintain those reciprocal relationships. This is why you might feel like you've lost your voice at times. And I don't mean metaphorically. I mean literally like there's something stuck in your throat when you're trying to advocate for yourself. That lump that comes up, sweet soul, that is not any kind of weakness, that is stored truth in your body. That hasn't felt safe. It hasn't felt safe enough. It has not felt safe enough to release. Cannot say that strong enough. And y'all, here's the sacred part, that resentment you're carrying, it's not poison. It's an unopened love letter from your heart to your throat, saying, please, please tell your truth. I can't keep doing this alone. This is where we do something completely different. I call this resentment receipt, and here's how it works. Whatever you're doing, I invite you to either bookmark this part of the podcast or stop and do this with me. Step one is to stand up and yes, you actually need to stand up. If you're driving, again, bookmark this, come back when you can. This practice requires your whole body. And then step two, you get a piece of paper and a pen. We're going old school. Step three. At the top of that paper, you write resentment, receipt, what I've given without acknowledgement. Now here's where it's gonna get good. Step four. You set a timer for 90 seconds, and I want you to write fast, messy, no editing, every single thing you've given in the last week that nobody acknowledged, not just at work everywhere. Stayed late without being asked, covered someone's shift. Listen to a friend's problem when you were exhausted, made dinner, when you wanted to order out, smiled when you wanted to scream, acted fine. When you were falling apart, girl, you write all that shit down, write it down fast. Do not edit, don't think, and then I want you to look at what you wrote. Just look at it. Don't judge it. Be curious. Don't minimize it. Don't you dare minimize it. This is data in step six. This is the heart chakra part. Place your right hand over your heart. Feel the warmth of your palm and say out loud, I see you. I see everything you gave, and I'm calling it sacred. You say that. Five more times slower each time. Look in a mirror and say it. Say it until you believe it. I need you to feel it because that's your heart chakra recognizing itself. That's you witnessing your own generosity without requiring external validation. And then step seven, and this is for your throat chakra activation. Keep your hand on your heart and I want you to hum. Literally hum. You need that vibration in your throat. Any pitch, any sound, this is for you. Just a long low hum. Feel it vibrating in your throat. Feel it vibrate all the way down to your chest. And I want you to hum. For four full breaths. This is a super wonderful way to activate your vagus nerve. It literally stimulates the pathway between your heart and your throat, and that's opening up that channel that's been blocked. And then step eight, and here's the part that could feel revolutionary. I'm hoping this. I want you to take that piece of paper, that receipt of everything you gave, and I want you to read it out loud to yourself like you are testifying. You read each item and after each one you say, I'm allowed to name this. I stayed late without being asked. I'm allowed to name this. I swallowed my frustration. I'm allowed to name this. I smiled when I wanted to scream. I'm allowed to say this. Step nine. When you're done reading the whole list, take one more deep breath, hand still on heart and say This closing statement, this is what I gave. Not because I'm weak, because I'm powerful. And I'm reclaiming the right to decide consciously what I give and to whom. And the final step is to fold that paper. You do not throw it away, you keep it somewhere. I want you to look at it during the week, keep it tucked in your journal, bathroom mirror, whatever I want it to be a reminder that you're allowed to witness your own generosity. You don't need anyone else's permission to know what you've given. Now I need to tie this all together. So here's what I want you to understand. I the resentment you've been caring, the invisibility you've been feeling, the quiet rage that shows up when you're alone in your car. None of that is evidence of anything that equates to any kind of failure. It's evidence and reason to celebrate of your body's wisdom. Your nervous system is trying to restore balance. Your heart chakra is asking your throat chakra to step up and share the load. Your resentment. That's not the enemy. That's the messenger. And when you can receive that message, when you can witness your own giving without needing external validation, when you can speak your truth even in small ways, when you can open the channel between your heart and throat chakra, uh, you don't have to burn anything down to feel seen. You're gonna feel alive. You just have to practice telling the truth. And first girl, you gotta tell it to yourself. Yes, and then gradually to the people and systems around you. This is how you move from comp, compassion, fatigue to purpose. Not by giving less, but by reclaiming the right to choose what you give and to speak the truth about what it cost you. Okay, so here's what we talked about today. Here's what you learned. One Resentment is a nervous system signal, not a moral failure. It's your body trying to restore Equilibrium two. Invisibility is a survival adaptation, not your identity. You learn to be low maintenance because the system rewarded that. But girl, you can unlearn that shit in a heartbeat. Well not take more than a heartbeat, but you can unlearn it. And then three, the resentment receipt practice reconnects that heart chakra and throat chakra. So love and truth can flow together again. If this episode landed for you, if you feel like I just described your life, I want you to know you do not have to figure this out alone. You are not the only one sweet soul. And you're not meant to carry this alone until next week, take care of you. If this episode hit home, don't just nod and move on. Give yourself what you actually need. Tap the show notes right now, and girl, if you know another woman healer who's running on empty, please share this episode, y'all. We rise together.