Why Fear Keeps Women Healers Over 50 Stuck: Overcoming Burnout and Compassion Fatigue

If you’re a woman healer over 50 feeling trapped in a career that drains your energy, this episode dives deep into how fear of change and emotional exhaustion keep you stuck. Learn how burnout and compassion fatigue rewire your nervous system, guided by polyvagal theory and somatic healing principles, to make change feel dangerous — when it can actually be restorative. Discover how chakra imbalances, especially in the root and sacral chakras, contribute to emotional paralysis and loss of purpose.

In this episode of Compassion Fatigue Cure, Dr. Julie Merriman unpacks the biological and energetic reasons why staying in an unfulfilling job feels safer than change, even when it’s harmful. You’ll get practical tools like The Change Map, an embodied practice to transform fear into possibility and move towards restoration.

This episode is perfect for women healers 50+ who are exhausted but afraid to leave, who want to understand their nervous system's role in compassion fatigue and burnout, and who seek somatic healing and chakra balancing to reclaim their life and purpose. Take the burnout quiz included to identify your pattern and start your path forward.

Remember, staying isn’t neutral — it shapes you. Choose to rise into restoration and clarity with nervous-system-informed insight and compassionate self-care. We rise together.

You don’t need to force bravery.
You need your nervous system to remember how to adapt and flow.

If this episode named what you’ve been living, your next step is clarity.
Take the Quiz below to identify your specific burnout pattern and the path forward.

Staying isn’t neutral.
It’s a decision — and it’s changing you.
The question is whether you choose stagnation or restoration.

We rise together.

This podcast is for women healers over 50 navigating burnout and compassion fatigue who want nervous-system-informed insight into exhaustion, purpose loss, polyvagal regulation, chakra healing, and embodied recovery so they can move from survival into clarity, stability, and restoration.

Burnout isn’t your failure—it’s the cost of caring too long without support.
In Pursuit of Soul Joy: A 12-Week Guide for Overcoming Burnout and Compassion Fatigue is written for women healers ready to stop surviving and start living again.

👉 Get the Book!

Reach out to Dr. Julie - Tell her how you're feeling to get a personalized plan to feel alive and thrive.

Episodes drop every Tuesday at 5am and every Friday at noon.

Special guest episodes drop the 4th Thursday of every month at 7am.

Transcript

0:01

If you are staying in a career that's killing you because you're terrified of what comes next, here's a truth. Your fear of change is not protecting you, it's calcifying you Empowering brilliant women in healthcare over 50 to transform burnout and compassion fatigue into renewed passion. Reigniting your spark to create a life that energizes you every single day. I'm your host, Dr. Jules. Let's get to it. sweet soul. Please stay with me until the very end, because today I'm going to give you three things that will completely shift. How you see change. First, I'm gonna show you the neuroscience of why your brain treats change like a physical threat. Second, I'm going to explain the energetic reason women healers feel paralyzed by change. And third, I'm going to teach you something called the change map. And it's a tactile, embodied practice that's gonna help you physically. Locate where fear lives in your gorgeous body and move it from paralysis to possibility. Y'all, this isn't about forcing you to be brave. It's about understanding that stability. Y'all. This isn't about forcing yourself to be brave. It's about understanding that the stability you're clinging to is actually the thing keeping you stuck in burnout. Here's what nobody wants to tell us perhaps about the fear of change. Y'all, our brain is literally wired to resist it. There's a part of your brain called the amygdala. I know y'all are familiar with that, and you know, that's our threat detection system. It treats uncertainty the same way it treats physical danger. When you contemplate leaving your job, changing careers or reimagining your life after 50, your amygdala lights up like you're being chased by a predator. This is why thinking about change can make your heart race your chest tighten, right? Oh, your palm sweat. Your body is having a genuine fear response to just the idea of something new. But here's what's really interesting. There's research from Dr. Tara Swart, a neuroscientist who studies change in neuroplasticity, and this research shows that your brain's resistance to change. Isn't about the change itself, it's about the loss of prediction. Our brain is a prediction machine. It likes to know what's coming up next because that can conserves energy and keeps you safe when you've been doing the same work in the same way. For the same institution for 20 plus years, your brain has built an elaborate prediction model. It knows exactly what to expect. And even if what's predicting, and even if what it's predicting is misery burnout and soul crushing exhaustion, your brain is still like, hell yeah. I prefer that to the unknown. This is why. You can simultaneously know your job is destroying you and feel paralyzed to leave it. Oh honey, I was stuck there for about 15 years and what's so funny on the other side of it with such freedom and I didn't miss a damn thing. Uh, our brain will lie to us, but let me just reiterate for you, it, it's not weakness. It's absolutely neurobiology. And this can get particularly brutal for us gals who are women healers over 50, dealing with burnout and or compassion fatigue. Because we've spent decades building expertise, right? You've mastered your craft, you've created stability, financial stability, professional identity, social status, your entire sense of self is wrapped up in. Healer, who knows what she's doing? And the thought of starting over, going back to that beginner of not being the expert, it can feel like death. But here's some research. Dr. BJ fog's research on behavior change and he's at Stanford, shows that humans don't resist change. Get this. We're resisting loss. And for us gals over 50 change feels like losing. We're gonna lose our professional identity. We're gonna lose financial security. We're gonna lose that sense of competence. You're gonna lo lose that hard earned ex. You're gonna lose that hard earned expertise. Your relevance. So what do we do? We stay, even though staying is literally giving you stress induced autoimmune condition, even though literally. Staying is giving you stress induced autoimmune conditions. Even though you fantasize about walking away, even though girl, you know deep in your bones that this version of your life, it has an expiration date, you stay because your brain has convinced you that the devil. You stay because your brain has convinced you that the devil you know is safer than the possibility you don't. But here's what your beautiful brain is not telling you. Staying in chronic burnout is also change. It's just change in the wrong flipping direction every day. You stay in compassion fatigue. Your nervous system is changing, okay? It's becoming more dysregulated, more reactive, more depleted. Your body is changing. You're storing more cortisol, you're losing more resilience, and fuck your aging faster. Your spirit is changing. It's becoming smaller, quieter, and more resigned. You're not avoiding. Change by staying? No, no, no. You're just choosing slow erosion over intentional transformation. And y'all, that's the cruelest trick you ever, and y'all, that's the cruelest trick your fear has ever played on you. So I wanna talk about what's happening energetically. Because this is where everything my friend is gonna click into place. Your root chakra located at the base of your spine is your center of safety, security, stability, and survival. It's your energetic foundation. It governs your sense of I am safe, I'm grounded. I belong here, your sacral chakra. Located just below your navel is your center of creativity, pleasure, flow, adaptability, change. Yeah. This is where you access fluidity possibility. God, I love possibility and the capacity to move with life instead of against it. Move with it, not against it. Here's what happens when you're burned out and compassion fatigued and terrified of change. Your root chakra, it becomes hyperactive. It's clinging desperately to anything. Anything that feels stable, even if that stability is toxic. You grip your job title, you pay paycheck, your routine, your identity as the healer who has it all together, like a life raft. You tell yourself, well, at least I know what this is. At least I'm still standing. At least I haven't lost everything. Oh, but that hyperactive root chakra, it's not actually keeping you safe, it's keeping you frozen. Meanwhile, your sacral chakra shuts down completely, and we do not want that shut down. But see, the sacral chakra is all about flow and creativity, adaptability, pleasure. And when you're in survival mode, all of those things feel like luxuries that you can't afford. So you stop playing, you stop creating, you stop imagining what else might be possible. You stop asking What would bring me joy? Because joy feels frivolous when you're just trying to make it through the day, and here is what I think is a really devastating part. When your root chakra is in fear grip and your sacral chakra is offline, you lose access to the very qualities that would help you navigate change successfully. The root chakra is supposed to give you stable ground from which to grow. The sacral chakra is supposed to give you the fluidity to adapt and flow, but when fear takes over, your root chakra becomes a cage instead of a foundation and your sacral chakra. Well, it becomes a dried up riverbed instead of a flowing stream. This is why change feels impossible, not because you're not brave enough. God knows that's not it, but because your energetic system is stuck and a pattern that mistake stagnation for safety. So let me tell you about a client of mine. This is a nurse. She's in her late fifties, and she came to see me recently. She'd been at the same hospital y'all for 28 years. Can you imagine? She was so burned out, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she could not find joy in anything. But when I asked why she didn't leave, she said, because at least I know how to survive here. Out there. I don't know the rules. I don't know if I'm still good enough. I don't know if anyone would want me. That is root chakra terror talking, but underneath that terror was something else. A completely dormant sacral chakra. She hadn't created anything y'all, anything in years. She had not played, she hadn't explored, she hadn't let herself imagine a different version of her life. She traded flow for false security, and now she was trapped in a prison, sadly, of her own making. So here's what research on neuroplasticity tells us. Your brain. Remains capable of radical change throughout your entire life. Dr. Michael Zinc's research shows that the adult brain is just as plastic as the child brain. We just use that plasticity differently. But you can't access that plasticity when you're in chronic fear and energetically when your root sac, when your root and sacral chakras are out of balance. When you're all grip and no flow, you literally cannot perceive a new possibility. Your energy is locked in survival mode. Y'all. This is why that, oh, just don an affirmation. That's why those don't work. This is why we'll just be positive. Doesn't work. This is why telling yourself, well, change is good. Well, your entire energetic system is screaming danger. Shit, that's not gonna work. You can't think your way out of this. And we are good at thinking, right? We floating heads of competence, but you cannot think your way out of this. You have to move through the energy. So this means you have to teach your root chakra. That true safety comes from flexibility, not rigidity. And you have to wake up your sacral chakra and remind it to flow again. That is a water creature. It needs to flow. So good news. This is where we're gonna get active. I've got something for you. I wanna teach you the change map. It is tactile, it is physical. And it's going to help you locate where the hell your fear lives in your beautiful body, and then move it from paralysis to possibility. I love that word. That is my word for 2026. I'm just now claiming it. Possibility. You are going to need a large piece of paper or poster board do this for you. Come on, I I hear you going. I'm gonna click this off. Do not click this off. Do this for you. You need a large piece of paper or poster board colored markers or crowns. Yes, we're accessing that sacral chakra where creativity lives. Small objects from around your house, stones, coins, jewelry, whatever. Appeals to you. First, you're gonna draw your body, so stand up and on that large piece of paper, trace an outline of your body. Of course, it's not gonna be perfect. It's just a rough human shape. This is your change map. Step two, you're gonna locate your fear, so close your eyes. Place both hands on your low belly, your sacral chakra, then move them to the base of your spine. That's your root chakra. And now I want you to ask yourself, when I think about change, leaving this job starting over, reimagining my life, where does fear live in my body? Girl, don't you think about it. You feel it? Does your chest get tight? Does your throat close? Does your tummy drop? Does your lower back clench? Wherever you feel it, open your eyes and mark that spot on your body outline with a red marker. Mark every place fear shows up. Then you're gonna name what you're afraid of losing. Next to each tread mark, I want you to write will what you're afraid of losing. If you change friends, you've gotta be very specific. Not security. My salary, my identity knew specific, being known as the expert. Write it all the paycheck, the title, the routine, the expertise, the respect, knowing what comes next. This is your root chakras tear map. This is what's gripping. Then you do the truth test. Take those small objects, stones, coins, whatever you grabbed and place one object on each red mark. These objects represent the weight of what you're carrying, the weight of clinging to false safety. Now stand back and look at your body map covered in objects. This. Is what fear looks like when it's running your life. Next, you're gonna activate your sacral chakra. Grab an orange or yellow marker. Those are sacral colors, and I want you to mark every place in your body where you've ever felt joy, creativity, pleasure. Excitement, flow, aliveness. It could be your hands when you're making something. Your hips, when you're dancing, your belly, when you're laughing. Go ahead mark those spots. And orange or yellow, these are your sacral chakra access points. These are the parts of you that remember how to flow. And then the question, place your hand on the largest orange or yellow mark your strongest sacral point, and ask out loud, what would I create if I wasn't afraid? Do not answer in your head, don't you do that. Let your sacral chakra answer. It could be a private practice. Only seeing the patients you love move to a different state. Complete career pivot, part-time teaching instead of doing consulting instead of killing yourself. Write that answer next to your sacral shock remarks in orange. And then step seven, the object ritual. Now this is the embodiment part one by one. Pick up each object you placed on your fear marks. Hold it in your hand, say out loud. I release the need for safety. I choose flow over grip and physically. Move that object to one of your orange sacral chakra marks. Go ahead, do this. With every single object, you're literally moving the weight of fear from paralysis to possibility. And then step eight, the movement. Once all the objects have been moved, stand up. Place both your hands on your lower belly, your sacral chakra, and move in any manner that feels good. Sway your hips, roll your spine, shake your whole body. Just move for 30 beautiful seconds. You're waking up the flow. You're reminding your body that it knows how to adapt, how to create, how to change. And finally, commitment. Girl, look at that change map with all those objects. Now resting on your possibility points instead of your fear points, say out loud, change is not my enemy. Stagnation is I choose flow. I want you to keep this visible. Don't throw that map away. Put it somewhere you're gonna see every day this week. Let it remind you that you've already moved the weight that flow is possible, and that your sacral chakra remembers how to create new realities even when you're scared okay, y'all. The women who don't let fear of change hold them back aren't fearless. They're just honest about what's actually scarier the unknown ahead of them, or the slow death of staying where they are. They've learned that true safety is not coming from clutching the familiar. It's gonna come from trusting your capacity to adapt, to flow, to create something new. When the old stops working, your root chakra's job is to keep you grounded, not to keep you trapped. Your sacral cha. Your sacral chakra's job is to help you flow with change, not to shut down in the face of it when those two chakras are balanced, when you have stable ground and flexibility to move. That's when change stops feeling like a threat and starts feeling like, whew, possibility. You don't have to burn everything down tomorrow, but you do have to stop pretending that saying, but you do have to stop pretending that staying a burnout is a safe choice. It's not. The only thing more dangerous than change is slow erosion. And that slow erosions comes from. You're staying somewhere that's killing you. All right, friend. Let's wrap this up. Today you learned your brain's resistance to change isn't about weakness, it's neurobiology. You learned fear of change happens when your root chakra goes into fear grip and your sacral chakra shuts down. And you learn the change map practice that helps you physically locate where fear lives in your body and helps you move it from paralysis to possibility. Sweet. So here is what I know. You didn't survive everything you've survived to just spend the rest of your life clinging to false safety. You're allowed to want more. You're allowed to choose flow over grip. And you're allowed to let your sacral chakra create something new even when your root chakra is terrifying. Oh, there are so many of us white knuckling our way through careers that stopped serving us years ago. You are not alone and you don't have to stay frozen. I will see you next week. If this episode hit home, don't just nod and move on. Give yourself what you actually need. Tap the show notes right now, and girl, if you know another woman healer who's running on empty, please share this episode, y'all. We rise together.