Episode 119- Before you point, look at your hand

We all do it.

We blame the choreography.

The judges.

The teacher.

The opportunities we didn’t get.

And for a moment—it feels justified.

But here’s the truth:

The second everything becomes someone else’s fault…

you give away your power to grow.

In this episode of Mind Juice, we’re talking about ownership—what it really means, why it’s uncomfortable, and why it’s the one thing that separates the dancers (and people) who stay stuck from the ones who actually move forward.

Because growth doesn’t come from blame.

It comes from asking a better question:

What could I have done differently?

This one is for dancers, parents, and anyone ready to stop pointing fingers—and start taking control.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to the Mind Use Podcast, a dose of inspiration to inspire, motivate, and give a fresh perspective to dancers, teachers, and studio owners. We are going to tackle real-life issues with real life perspective and solutions. Well, hello my friends. Welcome to episode 119 of the Mind Use Podcast. Let's jump right into today's episode. Have you ever noticed this? When you point your finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing right back at you. And still, blame is everyone's first instinct. It's automatic. It's so easy. And honestly, it feels good for a second. Blame protects your ego. It gives you an out. It lets you stay comfortable in the moment. But what it actually does is keep you stuck. Because the second everything becomes someone else's fault, you give away your power to change anything. And if you don't have the power, you don't have the growth. I see this all the time inside the studio. I hear the choreography wasn't good. The judges just didn't like me. My teacher didn't push me enough. That other team gets all the attention. And listen, sometimes there is truth in that, but it's not the whole truth because there's always another side of the question. Did you practice? Did you go full out every time, even when no one was watching? Did you apply the corrections the first time or the fifth time? Do you push yourself or do you wait to be pushed? Because the dancers who grow, the ones who actually separate themselves, they don't sit in blame, they sit in ownership. They walk out of a room and instead of saying that wasn't fair, they say, What can I do better next time? And that one shift, that's what changes everything. And parents, we do this too. I don't think the studio is doing enough. My child isn't being seen. They don't get opportunities like the other kids do. And I get it truly because you love your kid and you want the best for them. But the real question is, are we helping them grow or are we protecting them from discomfort? Because those are two very different things. Growth requires discomfort. Growth requires honesty. And growth requires looking at the hard stuff and saying, okay, what's my part in this? And that's not always fun, but it is powerful. And here's the shift. Instead of asking, who's at fault? Who's whose fault was that? Start asking, what could I have done differently? Even if the answer is small, even if it's uncomfortable, even if you don't want to ask it, because that question puts you back in control. And control is where change lives. And listen, I'm not exempt from this either. As a studio owner, I've had to check myself millions of times. If something isn't working, if there's a frustration, a miscommunication or tension, I don't get to just blame parents or kids or staff. I have to stop and ask. Did I communicate communicate clearly? Did I set the standard? Did I follow through? Did I allow something once that I am now frustrated about? Because leadership means going first and it means holding yourself accountable before you expect it from anyone else. And that's not always easy either, but it is necessary because here's the truth blame keeps you comfortable, and ownership makes you powerful. Blame keeps you where you are, and ownership moves you forward. So the next time you feel that urge to point the finger, and you will, just pause. Take a second, look at your hand, because those three fingers pointing back at you, that's your opportunity. That's your growth, and that's your power. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll catch you next time on the Mind Juice podcast.