Better Me with BodyByBree
Better Me with BodyByBree
Health Benefits of Orgasm with Fleurish
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This week Bree is talking with Jules and Nic of Fleurish Podcast all about orgasms! Listen for some honest conversations where no topic is off limits.
Vibrator recommendations:
Rechargeable Personal Massager
Je Joue Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator
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Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health, and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the Better Meet with Body by Free podcast. I'm your host, Free. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur, and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development, and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together. Today we're talking all about orgasms and why they are so beneficial and why it's so important to embrace your feminine sexuality. We cover topics like why it can be harder for a woman to have an orgasm than a man, releasing shame around connecting to yourself sexually, how to connect with your partner and have more open communication about what your needs are sexually, health benefits that you would never think of while having regular orgasms, the stages of an orgasm, and a lot of entertaining personal stories throughout the episode. Obviously, this episode is for mature audiences, so make sure you have your headphones if you are around your kids. We do not have a filter and we cover all the bases. I hope you're ready for this one. Let's get started. Nicola and Jules have a podcast called Flourish and have also been featured in Oxygen magazine. They have a podcast episode every Monday, and what they discuss is they have honest conversations where no topic is off limits and all ideas are on the table, curated to uplift, inspire, encourage, and make you laugh and kick your week off right. They promise to help you flourish. Jules, Nicolette, welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited. Hi. This is so fun. We're gonna have girl chat today. I cannot wait. I picked the perfect. I'm sorry. I was gonna say I picked the perfect guest because I feel like this is just gonna be such a fun girl chat that you're so open and honest. And like I love that your slogan is like, no topics are off limits. I love that. That's the kind of friends I need in my life, right? Hey, we we are here for it. We're we're ready. We love a good girl talking.
SPEAKER_01We really are, and this is the best topic to girl talk about.
SPEAKER_00I know. I swear it always like leads to this when I'm with my friends. Like when it's like, okay, guys, let's chat. Like, let's what let's let's get real here. And I'm always the one to bring it up. And then once once I just start asking, they're like, okay, well, we'll just talk about it then. Because I feel like you just kind of need that friend that has no filter that can like be real, and then other it gives permission for other women to be real as well and kind of break down that wall and that barrier. So that's what we're all here to do.
SPEAKER_03Yes, because I do feel like it can be seen as like kind of taboo, you know, like a taboo topic, or that people aren't necessarily always honest about it, or they're nervous to be honest about what's really going on. And so we're here, we're ready to challenge.
SPEAKER_01I even think that it can be hard to talk to your friends about it because you almost feel more vulnerable with someone who knows you really well, and you're nervous that you're not the same as them. Oh, yeah, it's easy to do that.
SPEAKER_00That's true.
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I feel like, yeah. Yeah, that's definitely true. I feel like um sometimes if someone is like I have one friend that like is so lucky and she can have an orgasm while having sex. And I'm always like, you are so lucky. Do you know how rare that is? Yeah, honestly, you know, and then other friends that you know, it's really hard for them to even have an orgasm at all. And you never want like them to feel bad or compare themselves, you know. So it's like if everything's out in the open, I think it gives permission permission for everyone's experience and everyone's story.
SPEAKER_03Totally. Well, and it's like I don't think I also just don't think people know that it is normal to not have an orgasm during sex, just by penetration, yeah. Like that there are other ways, and that if that if you aren't someone who can have one by penetration, that that's normal, totally fine, totally fine.
SPEAKER_00And I didn't know that when I got married. I you you think it was a good thing. So sad.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that like we don't know our own bodies as a female.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we don't even know. Well, it's like literally, we've all seen every movie when there's any sex scene, and you're like, oh, look at that.
SPEAKER_00The moment, yeah, yes, that's what it's gonna be like, and they both go together always, and and there's no cleanup, there's no cleanup, never we just cuddle.
SPEAKER_02No running to the bathroom to pee so you don't get an infection, and then holding it with cuffing it with your hands. So sick.
SPEAKER_03And then the sheet is like beautifully draped across to you, like wrapped around your body in the most like effortless way.
SPEAKER_02Yes, you're not like sick and sweaty with like your retainer in.
SPEAKER_00Oh, and then you're like going to the bathroom and you just like are queefing all the air. Literally that is so sexy that they're just hearings. You're like, thanks.
SPEAKER_02Literally, we're at like you can't relax enough and it won't all come out of you. Oh, yeah. And then it comes out at the gym when you're at the gym the night.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, literally. You go to the gym and you're like, oh my god. Oh my gosh, why?
SPEAKER_02Why does that happen?
SPEAKER_00It's like 24 hours later, it's like dripping down your leg, and you're like, why am I still leaking? This is where are you coming from?
SPEAKER_02It's literally just hot and soggy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you have to face the wall for every exercise. You guys I already love you so much. This is so good. This is so good because it's so true. Like, here's what I think is interesting, though. Okay, I do feel like for our listeners, we have to kind of give a background. I don't actually know if you guys are Mormon, but I'm Mormon. And so I like never I was pretty naive when I got married. Like, totally, that's how we are saying I didn't know anything. Okay, but like I've never had sex before marriage. Okay, we do not have in the same boat, so it's kind of our culture, right? Like it's a little bit of our culture where like I never had sex before marriage, before marriage. I had never really seen pornography, like I really did not really I was very naive, like going into it. I'm like, okay, and it's kind of hard to switch your mentality to all of a sudden be this like sex kitten for your husband when for so long you're like okay, be pure and clean. And then you're like, wait, now you know, be okay with all of this. It it kind of is a little bit hard, right? Like, whoa, and I think especially in our culture, it's not talked about a lot.
SPEAKER_01No, and it's even suggested in our in our like religious culture to not experiment with touching yourself alone, like before getting married, even. So you don't even know what your vagina is capable of doing. So how are you supposed to or what you like? Yeah, so how are you supposed to then enjoy sex ever? Like, it's really, it's really hard.
SPEAKER_03It makes for a pretty steep learning curve. Yeah, like we're like when married if you have like not slept with someone before you get married. I mean, I can from my own experience, I mean, it it took some absolute learning on on my end. Like it was it was tricky. Like we had a hard time like figuring it all out for a while because I had like we just you just didn't know. And then you get married, and all of a sudden you're like, oh well, this should be easy, and I'm sure I'll just figure it out nice and quick.
SPEAKER_01Well, and a boy orgasms in about five seconds. So you're you're like, well, why is that not happening for me? Yes.
SPEAKER_03I think that's where like I s I struggled too, is where, or where people I think a lot of women can like maybe feel I don't maybe shameful or like more embarrassed, is like, okay, yeah, a guy can finish in like very quickly, but why is it taking me more time? Or like, is something wrong? Is something off? Like, am I doing it wrong? Am I broken? Yeah. And that's like such a thought, especially when you're going through such a big change just in life, to also be trying to figure that out at the same time is a lot.
SPEAKER_00It is a lot. And I I remember being like, well, first you have to. The hard part is if you are in a culture background where we come from, it's like you don't even know what you like. You're like, I don't even know what to tell them to do. I don't know. No, you know, I'm not sure what feels good to me. I'm not sure. Like, I remember the first time I like used a vibrator, I felt like, is this okay? Like I kind of felt guilty for a minute. Like, I'm like, I don't, like, am I allowed to do this? Like, it was just like a funny complex. But as I've matured and gotten older, I'm like, my daughter will never feel that shame. Like, I will, I am going to be open with her. I'm gonna tell her she can experiment. Like, I know that might be like a little in our church, it's just, but I'm like, no, I don't believe in that shame around your sexuality. I want you to feel comfortable with your body. I want you to know what you like. I want you to like connect with that side of you because it is so powerful and so important. And now I feel like I'm so much more sexual and I have such a like um fulfilling relationship with my husband that I want every girl to feel that way. So I'm like, no, let's open this conversation, let's break down these barriers, let's talk about how important this is and why this needs to happen and why we have to have these conversations. And it's not this taboo thing, and it's not like this shame-centered thing that we should feel that we can't connect with. Like, it's it's a very beautiful, powerful, positive feminine energy that I think we all need to tap into. So that's kind of my goal of the podcast. I feel yeah, couldn't agree more.
SPEAKER_03We love that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I and I feel like, you know, when I mean, obviously we're joking about it and we're open and we can laugh about it, but even when you just hear other people's experiences, you're like, okay, it's normal, you know, it's totally normal. And I remember, I mean, you guys can, I'm interested how your guys' wedding nights went, but I remember I cried the well, okay, the first time I was like, this is amazing, you know, and I'm like, holy cow, this is great. And I was like in fantasy land. But actually having sex was hard because it hurt because I like was, I don't know if I was too tight or it just wouldn't fit. Like I it just wasn't the movies, you know what I mean? And I remember crying, like, this isn't this, this should be easy for me. Like, I should just know what to do, and I didn't, and that was like that was kind of a little bit like I felt bad. I mean, Adam was in heaven, he could care less. He should be. Well, for sure, he's excited, but like I wanted to be really good at that, and and where I was like, wait, this hurts, like I like I'm not really sure this how to do this rhythm. Like, I didn't, you know, like I feel like if you let people know that's totally normal at the beginning, and you have it's a learning curve, you know. So I'm interested how your guys's wedding nights went.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. Tragic. Yeah. Uh for me, for me, um, not much happened. We gave it a go. It was like, um, I was like a like a brick wall, you know? Stop it. Yeah. It was like, no, nothing's nothing's getting through that gate. Gate closed. And we luckily, you know, my my husband is so great. And we just like kind of laughed it off and then like did other stuff and it was great. But actual, like, sex did not happen night one. And that was almost a bit like it was fine. We it I I remember thinking about it and being like, okay, he and I have all this chemistry. Like when we're kissing and we're making out, and like all that, like we have so much chemistry. I never thought that it would be something I'd have to figure out. Like, I did not go into it thinking it would be something that like wouldn't happen right away. Like, I just figured, okay, well, when the time comes, great, it'll sli slip on in and it's gonna be a breeze.
SPEAKER_01And the big O will happen.
SPEAKER_03Every time. Every time instant. And uh it was not the case for me. It was really not. But you know, great wedding night, but not not the way we planned, you know. Well, and then I was watching The Office.
SPEAKER_00So I wonder too, because with girls, it's so emotional. Like where if you're in your head at all, or if you're nervous, or if you can't relax, or if like you're distracted. Like for me, I'm always like, I have to be like in the zone. I always tell my husband, like, I'm not in the zone, like I gotta totally gotta be in the zone. So, you know, that impacts it too, and it takes a while to kind of like warm up and get your body ready, and you know, but you don't really know that at the beginning. So you're just like, hey, let's see if this fits, and but you're like, oh wait, I gotta there's a lot that needs to happen there, but now you know, now we know that yeah. What about I don't know, was that Jules or Nicolette? I can't ever tell you guys what's right.
SPEAKER_01That was Jules.
SPEAKER_00Okay, that was Jules. So Nicolette, what about you?
SPEAKER_01So for me, I and I know there's some girls listening right now that will fall into this group. I was deep into the pretend I had an orgasm like moment with at the beginning of my marriage where it was like, I'm just gonna fake it. Like I'm it's supposed, I think it's supposed to be happening. Maybe it is, I don't know. Like, yeah, but I'm just gonna make sure I pretend like it is and act like it's feeling really great, even though I'm writhing inside because it's like hurting a little bit, and yeah, nothing great is actually happening. Like there was no like big moment. Um, so I pretended for a little while that I was enjoying and having orgasms. Um, and I definitely pretended on our wedding night that I had an orgasm and it lost. It was very short.
SPEAKER_00He's like, she, I'm the best. Like, I am so good. Yeah, here's Mick just making me feel great.
SPEAKER_02She's like really boosting the ego over there.
SPEAKER_00So what changed? Like, what shifted where you're like, okay, I don't want to pretend anymore. Or maybe you still do, I don't know. No, no, oh, hell no. I'm like, I get mine before you get yours. Yes, that's exactly me too, me too. But I feel I'm like, I listen to your podcast, so I know that's not true. So, like, what shifted? What changed?
SPEAKER_01Well, okay, I had actually masturbated from the time I was really young. And I used to be very embarrassed about it until I started talking openly about it with my clients because I do hair. So I talk to girls all day. And the second I started talking about it, so many other women were like, Oh my gosh, I've never told anyone, but I also was masturbating in second grade.
SPEAKER_00Like, well, it's the shame for girls for some reason. Totally. Like it's expected for guys. It's like, yeah, of course you're going to. And then girls, it's like so taboo.
SPEAKER_01Yes. It's like all it's it's naughty for a girl to do it, but not a guy. Yeah, it makes no sense. So I have known what an orgasm felt like from the time I was young. And it like finally clicked one day that when when I was married, that like, oh, okay, that same feeling is what I should be feeling while I'm having sex, or I should be able to get that feeling. How come I'm not? And maybe if I can learn or teach Colby how to do it for me during sex, maybe I'll actually not resent sex so much.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01So it was opening the conversation with Colby and just getting brave to kind of show him even how to do it, or let him watch me use a vibrator so that he could just like feel comfortable with it, or um learn what to do with the vibrator on me while we're having sex. So I just was fed up with like not enjoying it, and I knew it was it was having a negative effect on our marriage the longer that I was just pretending to enjoy sex.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. So I have so many questions. So did you because I feel like men, they do, they want to please. Like a guy would love that if you're like, hey, let me show you. Like, let me show you what feels good. And why don't you try this? They're so grateful. They're like, Yes, I want to please you. I want this to feel good for you too. Like they want to connect, they don't want it to be one-sided. Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_03I feel like so. Oh, sorry, you go. I feel like, and that like I feel like men get turned on when their partner is turned on. Like, so that for them, like if you're not into it or like enjoying it, I feel like it is harder for your spouse to as well. Like, I know, like when I'm into it or whatever, and he's like making me like he's pleasing me, he's amped. Like he is all over it. And so I you're totally right. Men do want to please. I don't feel like men are generally speaking, like just in it for just them, or like a selfish no reason. You know what I mean? I do feel like it is mutually and they want it to be mutually beneficial.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Adam will be sad. Like he's like, no, you have like he's like, I won't, I'm we're not gonna have sex. Like if you don't get off, we're not having sex.
SPEAKER_01Like totally.
SPEAKER_00He's like it's not, it's not, this isn't one way. And so it's like, you know, that they like it too. But my so how what would be your advice then for a girl? Like, I have a friend who's like, I'm not sure if I've ever orgasmed, like I don't know. And I'm like, what? I like literally Amazon her a vibrator. Yes, yes, I'm like, and this will show up in two in two days. When it does call me, I'm gonna give you some tips. Like, so what, because some girls are just scared to open that part of them, so they don't even know what to tell their husband. So, what advice do you have for that girl?
SPEAKER_01I mean, I think first of all, no matter what, if someone has never, if they're unsure if they've if they've had an orgasm or not, they need to buy a vibrator.
SPEAKER_03Immediately.
SPEAKER_01Immediately, yes, and I'm gonna send you two links of our favorite vibrators that you can put.
SPEAKER_03Yep, I'll link up. I'll put mine too in there if you want. Yes, we swap our favorite vibrator ideas. We do, it's great. I love that. I want to know.
SPEAKER_00Send it to me.
SPEAKER_01Text it to me after. Yes, yes. Um, but I always just suggest a girl to like get a vibrator, go in your room by yourself or your bathroom, or the tub, like whatever you feel comfy, sexy, whatever, and use a vibrator on yourself first before introducing it into the bedroom, especially if you've never had one before. Because like learning where your clitoris is, like some some girls just don't even know their anatomy, right? And and where the spot is that feels good to have a vibration or to have pressure. So I always just suggest playing alone by yourself first.
SPEAKER_00Yes, and give yourself permission to do that, yeah. Not feel bad about it, like it's for your marriage, it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Because I think that if you introduce it with like a partner first initially, I think if you're already kind of a little uncomfy with a vibrator, like you've never used one, you don't know what it's gonna feel like, and then your partner also maybe doesn't know how to use it and you don't know what it's gonna feel like on you. I just don't feel like like we were saying being like in the zone or like being in your head. I just think there's gonna be so many thoughts going on. Like is this the response? Totally, yes, yeah. It's like, is this how I'm supposed to be feeling? Okay, like okay, yeah, that feels good, but like, is that where it's or maybe it kind of hurts there, but you're too nervous to say. Like, so I do think if it's introduced one-on-one first, you'll have a more successful experience when you then go to be with a partner after. Totally. Definitely, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I do know, do you know what's interesting? My two friends that can that's crazy that I only have two friends that I know of that can orgasm during sex, they both cannot use a vibrator because they said it's too sensitive. Yeah. It's too much. Like it makes me like crawl in my skin. So I'm like, that's interesting. So I wonder if it's a certain anatomy thing. Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_04You know?
SPEAKER_00So they hate vibrators, but I'm like, well, why would you need a vibrator if you can get off during sex? That's great. Yeah, you're a unicorn. You're lucky. Right. Yeah. Which, which by the way, the stats on that, I think it's like less than 20% of women actually go during sex without, like, you know, clit stimulization. So, like, that's totally normal. But like, it just is goes to show like everyone's so different. Like, one girl might like a high vibrator, one might like a low one. One might like stop, you know, like you have to know what you like, and it might be different than everyone else, and that's okay.
SPEAKER_01And there are so many different types of like stimulators, like vibrators. Like, there's ones that suck, like a little sucking motion on your clitoris. There's ones that just vibrate. There's one that vibrates in the inside of you. Like there are so it's so fun to be able to give yourself permission to buy all of them, to try them all out, see which one works best for you. If you don't get off on the one that your best friend likes and you feel like, oh no, like, can I just not do it? Buy a different one that does a different thing. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_01So many options.
SPEAKER_00And I think having um, I think if you like talk to your husband openly about it, I think having an open dialogue helps you also to just feel more comfortable. Like, hey, I really want to enjoy sex. I really want this to be a fun, connecting thing for us. Like, I need to figure out what I like first. And like, not that you need their permission, but I think it is good to just have an open dialogue, you know, so that you're on the same page. And then you can be like, and then I can show you what I actually like, or I can figure this out. And I'm I guarantee they'll probably be on board, you know? Totally.
SPEAKER_01And some men don't know that it is this hard for women to orgasm. And so opening, like letting them know also that like educating them that like this is a lot harder for a girl. You gotta, it's it's a mindset thing, it's a body thing, it's like a stimulation thing, everything's gotta be aligned. And so I do want like just saying, like, I want a little help, and the vibrator really gets me going. And so let's make this fun for both of us. You can be involved, you can hold it, or you can watch me. It's I think you can just speaking about it with your spouse and not coming into the conversation already be being super timid about it, I think is a big makes a big difference in how they're gonna respond. If you're just like super confident in it and make it seem very like playful, and this is going to be, this is gonna make our sex way better. How can a guy say no to that?
SPEAKER_03Did you know? Yeah, so it was actually for me. My husband was the one who suggested Stop it. Yeah, getting because what like I said, when we um I was similar to you, like I would cry, like we would have sex and it would be painful, and it would, and I would cry, which doesn't so I'm like trying to get through it, and then he is having a hard time because he's seeing that I'm uncomfortable and that I'm hurting.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it's like, well, how do I get off looking at you like sad?
SPEAKER_03Right. And then I would like try and hold it together, and then I'd be like, Okay, like I'm gonna go rinse off in the shower, and I would sob in the shower. Like, how sad. Sad. And so he was like so sweet one day and like approached me about it. And again, the culture that we were brought up in, I kind of saw vibrators as more of a taboo thing in a sex life. Like, I I just did, I felt like it seemed kind of like naughty, you know? And he was like, I really think that this is what's gonna help you. He's like, I want you to enjoy it, like we need to try and figure it out. He's like, because it's not working, clearly, yeah, the way that it's going. And so I he almost had to kind of convince me to try it because I wasn't super open to it originally, and then after trying it and realizing what a difference it can make, I was blown away. And like we would use it like more in the beginning, like when he was like going inside, you know, and it was like more painful at first, and it kind of acted as a distraction from that. And instead of like feeling painful, then it was obviously feeling a lot better. And then gradually over time, you know, it just unlearned what worked for us, and now I'm like such a proponent of that because I think that it can absolutely change your intimacy and your sex life and in like help with your relationship so much. And so I think that you're so right, a dialogue between the two of you can be so helpful of just like trying and learning and figuring it out. And if you do need to figure it out together, like if you're uncomfortable, I think it's okay to try and figure it out together too.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Well, and like did you notice too, like when you go first or like you're stimulated first, then sex feels so much better because you're open, you're lubricated, you're ready, you know. So, like a tip if you're struggling, you go first. And then sex feels so much better.
SPEAKER_03I cannot tell you how many people I have told that they need to be the one to go first. Yes, and it's I think that everyone just kind of hopes they'll go together and then it doesn't happen. But then, like once they're done, then the mood is a little different because they're not quite as into it, because they're in their like refractory period.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, they're gonna get soft in about two seconds, so hurry.
SPEAKER_03Good luck getting off now. And so then if they're like trying, I just feel like your mood changes because then you see they're not quite as into it because they're like tired now. And so it's makes it such a game changer if you go first. You've gotta go first.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_03Or like at least oh what? Well, and that gets the guy going too.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, for sure. For sure. Okay, so let's talk about the title of this is the health benefits of orgasm. So, what are some of the health benefits of orgasms that you guys have experienced, or that you've I know that you so let me just rephrase this. You guys have an orgasm podcast. That's actually how I found you, and their podcast is called Flourish, which I mentioned before. Um, but listening to that podcast, I was like, this is really great information, and I feel like my listeners would love it. So, what are some of the health benefits of orgasms?
SPEAKER_03So, um, before we get into it, we Nicola and I always like to just make sure everyone knows that we are not doctors. No. That we need to this is just girl talk. This is just girl talk. We're not doctors, we're not scientists, but we get all of our information from science-backed research and physicians who have studied this. So we love Elisa Viddy. She is so powerful with like women's health knowledge in general, which is a lot of what our podcast talks about, is just women's health in regards to your sexuality and your like cycle, your menstruation cycle, all the things. And so a lot of this information comes from um her research. So, just as a little background from where it's all coming from.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I love that too, because people want to know, but they don't want to do their own research half the time. Like, we're all busy moms. It's like, I just want to like listen to it. You tell me what you read, you know? So that's great. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03So the first benefit is that it improves your circulations to your organs in your pelvic region, and it can help regulate your menstrual cycle. So a woman who orgasms once a week is more likely to have a regular menstrual cycle.
SPEAKER_01Cool is that.
SPEAKER_00That's amazing.
SPEAKER_01Also, how many times, how many times have you had an orgasm and like moments later start your period when you know like you're about to start? I feel like it like really gets things going and keeps you on track. Totally during like when you know you're like about to start. I've had friends text me and be like, I am three, I'm like three days late on my period, and I'm stressing out that I'm pregnant, and I'm always like, just go have an audience. Yeah. And sure enough, it always just starts. That's so fascinating. Our bodies are so cool. I know they really are. Another benefit is that it actually increases your fertility, which is never talked about. Wild. Ever. Wild. So it like energizes the hypothalamus gland, which is the gland that like helps with the reproduction hormones in your body. So induces ovulation and all of your cervical fluids. So that's kind of a function.
SPEAKER_00Which I bet if it's doing that, it makes you glow because that's awakening that side of you.
SPEAKER_03Totally. So it acts as an overall lymphatic massage as well, which helps your body's yeah, right, which helps your body's natural like detox process to increase your digestion, your mood. And if this isn't like the best part, it helps to prevent cervical cancer. Wow.
SPEAKER_00So there is that. I did not know any of these benefits. I love this.
SPEAKER_03Isn't that crazy? Because I mean, like, I mean, we do things, we like everyone's loving to like goua shall like lymphatic drainage total massages, and it's like okay. As part of your regimen, slip in an orgasm.
SPEAKER_01Right, right. Toss one in. Love it. Toss one in. Toss one in. You heard it here. Um, okay, so orgasms also promote healthy estrogen levels in your body. We all know that we need our hormones regulated and great. And estrogen helps with REM sleep, getting into that great REM deep sleep. And um, orgasms in general produce prolactin, which gives you that like cozy, relaxed, sleepy, comfy feeling. So great thing to add into your nighttime routine if you need to sleep better, if you're struggling with your sleep.
SPEAKER_03So it along those same lines, it helps with relaxation by boosting your endorphins, which we know, and flushing our cortisol hormones, which we just don't love cortisol, you know? No, it's our it's not our favorite hormone because it's our inflammatory hormones um that causes stress. And so it helps you to release and relieve your stress, which we all need every day. Right. Right at least once.
SPEAKER_01Um, it's orgasms spike your DHEA hormone, which improves your brain function, it boosts your immune system, and like Brie was just saying, uh, gives you that healthy, glowy skin. So it promotes healthy skin, just orgasms do in general.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they can literally make you look younger. So more like which is crazy. But if you think more, if you think about it, it's like more blood flow increases, which means more oxygen leads to your face, and more oxygen means more collagen, which means better skin.
SPEAKER_00You're like, honey, I'm doing this for my skin, okay?
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, hey, you know, I'm I'm really I have acne. I really need to have sex really quick. You're like, yeah, babe, whatever you need.
SPEAKER_03My doctor told me.
SPEAKER_01Oh love. But it makes it makes you wonder though, when you see women that are older that look supple and beautiful and glowy, you kind of want to go up to them and be like, hey, so do you have have you orgasmed a lot in your life?
SPEAKER_00It like keeps them useful, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it is a little pepping their stuff, you know? Yeah, I love that. Orgasms boost infection fighting cells up to 20%. So it like can fight colds and flus, and we need that, especially going into freaking winter. Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Did you know sometimes I think about that like after we're like done, and I'm laying there and I'm like, I wonder if that was just like taking like vitamin C.
SPEAKER_00Like a vitamin C pack? Yes. I just took a, yeah, I just took a what is it? Emergency. I just took an emergency right there.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, I lay there and I think that, and then I tell myself that's so nerdy to even like be thinking about that after, but it's fine. Um, orgasms can actually help cure migraines and they help um with elevating your pain threshold, which is pretty cool. And so many people suffer from migraines. So that's a pretty good tip.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I in one of the books I read while I was pregnant in preparing for pregnancy or for labor, and maybe you've heard this, Brie, but having orgasms regularly during your pregnancy actually helps you have a more pain-free labor. Have you heard this?
SPEAKER_00Interesting. No, I do it put you into labor.
SPEAKER_01Yes. But it helps with your pain threshold. Like it, there's actual studies that help um that have been done that show that I don't know if it's something to do with like the muscles that contract during the orgasm, um, then are stimulated so often during your pregnancy that pushing the baby out becomes easier and less painful, and those muscles don't have to stretch so much or contract so much because they're used to it already. I know. Kind of fascinating.
SPEAKER_00Okay, wait. I do have to ask one thing while we're talking about pregnancy and sex. After you orgasm, did you not have the craziest contractions? Like your whole stomach just tightened like a baseball.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, ah, it's scary because you're like, did I do did it, did I do it? Is it happening? Is the baby gonna come out?
SPEAKER_00I know. And especially like when you're kind of smaller, it my stomach would contract so tight that my baby was like a little baseball. Like I could literally see exactly where my uterus was. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is so freaky.
SPEAKER_02It's psycho. Bodies aren't so psycho.
SPEAKER_00I know. Okay, sorry, keep going. I just had me and my sister-in-law were laughing about that because she's like, Is that normal? I'm like, Yeah. Very normal.
SPEAKER_01Um, the last one is that it increases your levels of oxytocin. So the hormone of bonding and success, those like really happy, passionate hormones that hormone that we all love in our body that gives us all the feel-goods, makes us want to be passionate and have a better, happier day, you know, in general. Gives us all the and obviously because it's releasing um those feelings and specifically giving you that like passionate feeling, it's only going to do wonders for you and your partner.
SPEAKER_00Right. Making you feel closer. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03My mom actually oh, I'm sorry. No, go ahead. What were you saying? Oh, I was just saying, yeah, it gives you a little boost of self-esteem, self-confidence, which we all need.
SPEAKER_00Yes, for sure. Um, my mom, I grew up in like she's very open. Like, so we would talk about things, right? We joke about sex, like she's very, very open. But anyway, she's also a therapist. And she was saying, like, when you have an orgasm and you're connected to that sexual side of you, that you're way more creative. So when she works on people, she'll be like, oh, your like sexual chakra is completely closed. And so she's like, I actually helped them have like a healthy sexual chakra so that they're more creative and they're more successful and they're more like abundant, and it has like all of this really cool healing energy when you have a healthy sexual chakra. But she also says it can go the other way too, and it can almost be too big where it takes over. So she's like, I help to like balance that, which I thought was fascinating. She'd always be like, Well, whenever she'd work on me as a teenager, she'd be like, okay, this is huge. I'm like, shut up, mom. I'm a teenager, you know. Like, leave me alone. I know. But she'd be like, listen a little, make it, you know, like it was just funny. Or, like, you know, just sometimes if it takes over, it can, you know, so it's good to have like a balance, but I thought that was so cool how it makes you more creative.
SPEAKER_03That is way cool. Yeah, that's fascinating. I've never really thought about it that way.
SPEAKER_00I love that. Yeah, super fascinating. Okay, so um, one thing I thought was really fascinating on your podcast was how you went through the stages of an orgasm. So, can we go through those stages and teach our listeners?
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Yeah. Also, I wanted to mention, I'm gonna send you a link to also add in your podcast notes, but there is a good article that we found that kind of walks someone through how to even have an orgasm. Like instructions, if you will, for someone that really needs to like have it broken down. So I'm gonna also provide that for you.
SPEAKER_03And it's not like scary.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no.
SPEAKER_03It's not like it's very like medical. Yeah. No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Perfect. I love it. So the first stage, there's four stages to an orgasm. And the first stage is the arousal excitement stage, and it can last a few minutes to a few hours, and this is where all the blood and fluids flow to the sex organs. So, like, you know, we call this the high school phase, you know, in high school when you just rub on top of each other, you just drive each other.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. You can go off, you can get off in two seconds.
SPEAKER_01You totally can. And you enjoy all those the 45 minutes of gene zippers going into your vagina. Like, yeah, so horrible. But you know, you know those how frisky and like turned on you are in high school when your hormones are like the best they've ever been. So that's that's the arrangement.
SPEAKER_03I know the same. Yeah, it's like the feeling that you get when you're 13 and you watch the notebook and you're just like, what?
SPEAKER_01You're in it. You're excited. Yes. So that's the arousal excitement phase.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the next stage is the plateau stage, which is kind of just a continuation of the arousal phase. And so, like your breathing and your heart rate and your blood pressure all rise, just preparing you for the moment.
SPEAKER_01And then the third is the actual orgasm. So this is when all the vaginal lubrication increases, your muscles constrict. It's the overall pleasure climax moment. And there'll be very quick contractions in your pelvic floor muscles. And I feel like that's a good way to help people know when people are like, Am I having an orgasm? Well, a good way to know is are you getting those like little flutters, those like contractions? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I always think of them as like butterfly wings. Yeah. Like the bat, bat, bat, bat, bat.
SPEAKER_01That's that is the orgasm. Yes.
SPEAKER_03And then the last phase is just your resolution phase when everything in your body relaxes, your muscles relax, your mind relaxes, and you release yourself from your aroused state.
SPEAKER_00So stages of an orgasm. That is so fascinating to learn.
SPEAKER_01I want to add that we so we have a podcast episode that is all about the seasons of your cycle. There's four seasons to a cycle, and each phase of your cycle, that your hormones are doing something completely different in each phase. And it's actually harder and easier in certain phases of your cycle to have an orgasm. And like some of the weeks, some of the days during your cycle, it's like nearly impossible to orgasm. And then there's some days where it's like you are peaking, it's going to be the easiest it's ever going to be. And so just learning what days those are can be so freeing for you as a female, just to like be a little give yourself a little bit of grace if like your husband's wanting or your partner's wanting to have sex and you are like cannot get off for the life of you. If you look at your cycle and you're like, oh, well, no, duh, like today was a bad day to have sex, because like I'm not gonna be able to deplet it, yeah. I'm depleted. But like, give me a week and a half, and like let's have sex three times a day, and I'll be ready to go.
SPEAKER_00So that's fascinating. That is so fascinating. Because I told I tell Adam all the time, like, sometimes the second you get started, you're like, Oh, yep, this is great. And then sometimes you're like, Okay, here, let's let me all right. Can I get there? Let's see.
SPEAKER_01Like sometimes I am like wrecking. My brain to like envision trying to get like turned on as much as I can. Yes. And I literally cannot get there. Like, yes, it is so impossible. And I without Fel, every time I look at my little flow app that shows me where I'm at on my cycle, and I'm like, well, no shit. Like, yeah, you know, that's why. Yep. So if you guys are interested in what's the app? No, no, no. There's flow. The flow app was just where I like track my period. But it doesn't tell you about your seasons of your cycle.
SPEAKER_00Oh, so you have to listen to that that podcast. Do you know what episode it is?
SPEAKER_03Um, it is called The Seasons of Your Cycle.
SPEAKER_01It's in our season one. We'll we'll share with you what and you can add it to the case. Yeah, we can link it. Yeah, we'll link it to the show notes for you guys.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. Yeah, it's so it is um episode 22 in season one, and it is called Understand the Seasons of Your Cycle. Utilize moments to live your best life. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I'm gonna link it. And as like we're starting to wrap up, I just wanted to. So Nicolette just had a baby. So how first of all, congratulations on that. How are you feeling?
SPEAKER_01I feel so great. I'm in actual heaven. So we're very happy about that. Haven't had the baby blues or anything yet. So I'm just crossing my fingers that I'm just gonna keep thriving.
SPEAKER_00That's amazing. I love that. Yes. Um, I'm actually training Nicolette for postpartum. You just are just over six weeks, just barely, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes, and I just finished week one of your.
SPEAKER_00Yay! You're feeling good.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I'm just like so, so, so grateful that you have a program that understands the importance of not just overdoing it right when you because a lot of women feel really great at six weeks postpartum, like they're ready to go start lifting really heavy. And yeah, it's a little frightening when you're when doctors just say, Okay, like I would just had my checkup last week, and he was like, Well, you can go as hard as you want at the gym now, like you can go back to norm, all your normal lifting. And yes, like could my body do that physically? It could, but there is a reason why you should be careful uh to not ruin your pelvic floor and that actually infuriates me that your doctor said that.
SPEAKER_00Isn't that true? No, no, no, no, no, you need to rehab.
SPEAKER_01Like, there should be a full-blown rehabilitation process postpartum. Yes, I should be. Your abdomen was completely separated, like, and your pelvic floor is no longer really there. It's like you've gotta rebuild it really slowly. And so I really appreciate your all your knowledge on just postpartum care for your body. And so that's why I was so drawn to your program, was because I really don't know if there's I haven't been able to find another program like it that supports your body postpartum and making sure that you don't get diastasis and you don't ruin your pelvic floor muscles.
SPEAKER_00So great to have all things options.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I'm less than that.
SPEAKER_00I'm very passionate about it because I'm like, that infuriates me because I'm like, we need more support for women. And like any pelvic floor specialist that you talk to, they're like, you shouldn't even be running three months after you have a baby. Like you, your entire pelvic floor was ripped apart. Like you have to rehab it. You can't just go back to normal. That's where you get the mommy pooch, you know? So, anyway, I'm super passionate about it. But I was gonna ask how your sex life did after you had your baby. Like, how did that go? Like, were you that was my last question for someone who who has a baby? What advice do you have for them to kind of get back in? Because I know it's it's kind of a little scary. You're like, I had stitches down there. I don't know about you, but I had a lot of stitches down there. It's swollen. Like, it's it's hard to like feel sexual when there's so much trauma down there. So, what would your advice be for after you have a baby?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so listen, I see a pelvic floor therapist as well as part of like my rehab.
SPEAKER_00I love that. I'm so proud of you for that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I love her so much, and she was the one who suggested having orgasms. Like when you get home from the hospital, try having an orgasm as soon as you can.
SPEAKER_00Wow, I have never heard that before.
SPEAKER_01Like it kind of makes sense, just totally, and just by clitoral stimulation, no going inside just because of all the healing. But there are so many benefits. First of all, she's like, you really want to wake up your pelvic floor muscles again because that's where people get into the whole. I mean, there's a lot of women who've who've not experienced an orgasm ever since having a baby, but they could prior. And it's because of those pelvic floor muscles. Um, not your brain not knowing how to reactivate them again. And so, anyway, I had an orgasm like three days after I got home from the hospital. Did it hurt? I was so scared, and it felt just as great as it had before. There was no pain. Oh, that's good. The contracting felt normal, like that you have when you orgasm. It it wasn't actually healing you. Totally.
SPEAKER_03It could be as interesting. You had a C-section. I had a C-section. From you know, could be different, like with a vaginal growth versus a C-section as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but your pelvic, I mean, everything in there was still connected, yeah. So it it definitely might it all worked and it all felt fine. And I continued to have I tried to at least have an orgasm like twice a week, um, just through using a vibrator, and it was wonderful and very fun. And then I just had sex for the first time last week, and that hurt.
SPEAKER_00So we're working on that. It does for a while, I feel. Especially if you're like stitched up tight, you're like, oh boy, yes, starting all over.
SPEAKER_01Okay, and because I I don't have stitches down there, but I we just haven't had sex for seven weeks, you know. And even just that, like I felt like I was 15, you know?
SPEAKER_00Right, right, for sure, definitely. But I think that's so good. I love to hear your experience, and I love that you got a pelvic floor specialist and that you're open and that you just are really working on rehabbing. I love to hear that so much. I can hear your cute little baby every once in a while. Cooing. I'm like, oh, that gets me so excited. I'm just so happy for you. I I really appreciate you guys being open and honest and being able to just be vulnerable because I think it helps so many women and just gives them permission. And uh right before we got on, they were like, This is our first podcast interview. I'm like, what? You guys are naturals.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh, it's we're so sweaty. So sweaty.
SPEAKER_03I had to rip off my sweatshirt.
SPEAKER_02And of course, the first podcast interview we have is about orgasms that's like already kind of a sweaty topic.
SPEAKER_03Oh no, we're so good.
SPEAKER_00I know, you are so good. We feel really great. Of course. Of course, I love your podcast. I love what you guys are doing. I think you're the cutest friend couple, and you just you're great. So if you guys haven't listened, you gotta listen to their podcast. Um, where else can our listeners find you if they want more info on you?
SPEAKER_03So they can find us on Instagram. It's just at flourish podcast. It's f L E U R I S H. So FLUR, yeah, and then we also have a Facebook group, which is so fun. If you are looking for like a community of women to talk to, bounce ideas off of, even try to like make new friends. Oh my gosh, it's amazing.
SPEAKER_01It's it's the best, it's so open.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, everyone is so wonderful on there. It has like been nothing but a positive, wonderful space. So you can find us on Facebook as well, and it's just like a private group. We'll accept you into there and you can come and hang.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. You guys are amazing. And we are gonna link everything that we talked about our vibrators, your podcast, the article. So look for that in the show notes as well. Thank you for being on, you guys. I'll talk to you later. Thank you, Brie. Thank you. See ya. Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more than you know. If you are looking for a program to help with self-confidence, to lose weight, get in shape, and work on your mental, physical, and emotional health. Check out my training programs on www.bodyby.com. My team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body Bible app, where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body by Bree Training Program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.
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