Better Me with BodyByBree
Better Me with BodyByBree
Your Thoughts Are Optional with Jody Moore
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This week, Bree is talking with Jody Moore. Jody is a mother of 4, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and a woman trying to figure out how to minimize resentment, overwhelm and guilt, and replace them with happiness, gratitude and joy.
Jody has a BA in Communications and an MA in Adult Education along with 15 years of experience as a Corporate Trainer and Leadership Coach. Thanks to her extensive training with Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School, she is now a Certified Life Coach.
Jody helps people to achieve the results they desire in all areas of their life. Her clients range from young newlyweds to empty nesters and together, they are changing the results in their lives.
Find out more at https://jodymoore.com/.
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Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health, and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the Better Me with Body by Free podcast. I'm your host, Free. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur, and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development, and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together. I had the honor of interviewing Jodi Moore, and we touched on just about everything in today's podcast. I even got a little life coaching in action that was really fun to see Jodi work her magic. We talk all about life transitions, how your thoughts are optional, making fitness and health a lifelong journey, how to let go of guilt and shame as a new mom, or whenever you go through a big life change, and so much more. I can't wait for you to learn from Jodi and get a few golden nuggets for your day. Let's get started. After having her first two kids, Jody Moore struggled with the work-life balance, embracing motherhood and liking herself. As an active member in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she felt guilty for not loving the role of mother and wife and turned to life coaching for help. The transformation she experienced not only helped her at work and home, it strengthened her testimony of Christ, leading her to dive into learning the tools of coaching and leave her position as a corporate leadership coach to launch her own coaching practice. Jodi is certified through the Life Coach School and completed master coach certification in 2018. Today, Jodi has helped tens of thousands of people through her top-rated podcast, Better Than Happy, as well as her coaching membership program, Be Bold. She has four children, ages six through 16, and she resides in Spokane, Washington, with her husband and her French bulldog Finn and her cat Oscar. Jodi, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on. I am so grateful.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I'm so thrilled to be here, Brie. Thanks for inviting me.
SPEAKER_02Well, I told you before you got on, I have I'm a little bit starstruck because I've been listening to your podcast for years. And I'm actually going to a family reunion. And every time I go to my fam reunion, the husbands make fun of the girls because we're like, oh, did you listen to this better than happy podcast? Did you listen to this one? Like, that's all we talk about. So just so you know, you are the topic of our, yes. You're the topic of all of our conversations. You have changed so many lives. And for those people who don't really know what you do or who you are, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got started in life coaching?
SPEAKER_00Yes. I um I worked in corporate for many years and had a bunch of babies, you know, did have done all the things, I feel like. Um at one point I was frustrated with feeling like I was really good at work and not good at being a mother, which I knew was the most important part of my life. Um, that combined with a layoff that happened in my corporate job, sort of left me in this really odd space that led me to find coaching that was really such an answer to prayers for me. It helped me reconnect with myself and just better understand emotions and better understand, you know, some of the dumb things I'd done in my life. And so I just loved it so much. I just started sharing it with people around me. I was really passionate about teaching what I'd learned to others. And um, so I started a little business more out of uh passion and a hobby than anything else that grew into what it is today, eight years later, um, which is how now my husband works in the business with me. We support our family, and it's just so rewarding and so much fun to get to do what I do.
SPEAKER_02Well, and you have so many different like avenues that people can learn from you. So you have like your Instagram, your podcast, you have your life coaching, you have, you know, a whole group that people can join. There's so many different ways, which is so beautiful because you're so dedicated to helping us um just live a happier, better life. So I love that. So today we are talking about life transitions. Um, we are always going through transitions and changes in life. And I feel like you are either a person that's like a go-with the flow type where you're okay with the transitions, or it really throws you off. So, how can we manage these transitions and maybe give us a few examples of what like a life transition would be and how we can kind of manage these expectations so that it's not a negative thing and it doesn't throw us off.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think it's interesting because I I think you're right, Brie. I think a lot of people will either say, Oh, I really like change, or oh, I hate change, I struggle with change. But the truth is actually we all just have a maybe kind of a sweet spot, if you will, when it comes to change. None of us actually want things to stay exactly the same. That gets boring. We experienced that during the pandemic, right? There wasn't enough change for people. And and so um there are certain types of change that are harder for us than others, but we actually all need change. It's a natural part of life. Um, you know, I know you and I have kind of talked about some of probably your listeners and my listeners are experiencing a lot of change around family dynamics. So when you first get married, that's a big change. When you start having kids, I don't know about you, but for me, having my first kid was the biggest change. And then, you know, at one point, yeah, it's like, wait a second, what happened to my freedom? Um, at one point, then all those kids will go off to school, and that can be a big change for people. Um, when your kids leave the house, uh, maybe changing jobs or careers, moving certainly is a big change. Um, empty nest becomes a big change for people. So those are just the ones that tend to happen for most people who have children and a family, but then there are all kinds of other little changes that just come up, you know, that are I think more unique along the way.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So tell us why does our brain hate change so much? Why is it so hard for us?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So our brains are designed to delegate as much as possible to this unconscious, or actually the the experts are now calling it the non-conscious part of the brain. I'm I'll just say unconscious. I'm used to saying that. Um, but in other words, our brains are are meant to be efficient. And so, as much as possible, if our brain is going to take a task or a routine or something that that we do regularly and memorize how to do it so that we don't have to think about it in the prefrontal cortex part of our brain. Okay. So if you think about brushing your teeth, it's something that you're able to do. You don't have to stop and go, now wait, where does the toothpaste go again? You already know where to put it, you know to get the toothbrush wet. Like you just sort of do it automatically. Or driving is another good example. When we first start learning to drive, it's all prefrontal cortex, trying to remember traffic laws and how to operate the car. But eventually you delegate that to the non-conscious part of your brain. And so when we pick up and move to a new city or our lifestyle changes in some dramatic way, all of those memorized patterns and decisions get disrupted. And now we have to go back to the prefrontal cortex in order to even find our way to the grocery store. Once we get in the store to remember where is the bread aisle? Um, things that we had delegated at one point, suddenly now we have to access the prefrontal. That is okay. It's just exhausting.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00And so at one point, at some point, the brain starts thinking, this is scary. This new world is scary. I'm having to use so much prefrontal energy just to navigate my day. I don't think I like this. I don't know who I don't know where I'm going. I don't know the people I'm used to talking to. So when your routine gets disrupted, it's totally normal for your brain to not like it and therefore generate some negative emotion within you.
SPEAKER_02I love that. So it's kind of a coping mechanism to for ease in our life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And again, the brain, like on its most primary level, is to is its job is to make sure we live as long as possible. And so do our young, right? So it thinks, hey, I might need that prefrontal brain energy in case there's a huge crisis later. If there's a fire, I need to escape, or a tiger starts chasing me, right? This is what our ancestors had to deal with. So that's why the that's why we get this nervous feeling. And and we don't realize that. Like we attribute it to I'm just uncomfortable because I don't know people at this place, or I feel unsettled because I don't know what to do with my day now that my kids are all in school. It shows up in different forms for us. But it's the brain basically saying, at times anyway, this is part of it, a big part of it, is the brain just being like, hey, danger. Uh we might die because we're using all of our prefrontal energy on little decisions. We don't have anything left if there's a big crisis. So the truth is we don't have to worry about a big crisis like that mostly today. So it's okay to use up your brain in that way. And it's temporary, right? Once you go to the grocery store a few times, you're gonna re-memorize where the bread aisle is, for example. And so knowing that this is just a temporary discomfort and it's okay to feel that way can really help just understanding what's going on. If I I sort of am like, it's okay, brain, settle down. It's all right for me to have to think harder about some things and make a bunch of decisions. This isn't gonna last forever. This is temporary.
SPEAKER_02Right. Okay, so do you feel like change? You just said change is necessary. So what is the truth about change? Like, do we get bored if we don't have it? Because I feel like that's how we learn and grow. And so maybe if we are able to say, okay, this is just a new season of life that I can adapt to, you know, maybe we can turn it into a positive.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's right. I mean, I love, I can't remember who said it, but but I once heard the saying that mastery is boring, right? So if you think about any new skill that you're trying to learn, um, we go through phases where it can be overwhelming at first, and then it becomes, again, that sweet spot of this this is a little bit challenging, but not too hard. And then eventually it becomes so easy that it's boring to us. Our brains want to develop and grow. We like um, we like new and shiny, right? This is why we want to. I mean, if you think about it, like we all want to get new clothes or new stuff for our houses or new, we want to see a new movie or listen to new. We like new actually, because we like variety. And um, that's partly why change is so necessary and why we get bored without it. If we don't have enough variety, enough new stimulus, um, then our brains don't like that either. So, you know, I mean, that's kind of on like a very primitive brain level, but on on a bigger picture too, we human beings are designed for growth. We just are. We're designed for growth and contribution. And so even though we don't always get to choose how that growth happens, the truth is if we didn't have it, uh, we would feel stagnant and eventually sink into depression.
SPEAKER_02Yes. I I love that because I I personally feel that in my life. My biggest hurdles, I would say, are when I've grown the most and it's actually helped me in the long run. So I think if we kind of know that before it happens, maybe it'll help us be able to cope with it. So look looking at these transitions that we were talking about, for example, having a baby, how do you not feel guilty for kind of shutting down or pulling back from some things in life because maybe it is overwhelming, or maybe you do need to take some time, or maybe you are having a mental breakdown. Like, how do you not feel guilty for that and let yourself kind of feel it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's such a good question. So guilt is an emotion, and one of the things I teach is that all of our emotions are created by our thoughts. Okay, so if I'm feeling guilty, it means I'm thinking a thought that's creating guilt. I'm thinking something like I should be uh let's let's use the new baby example. So um, you know, when you have a new baby, you let a lot of things go for a while, if you're like me anyway. So if I let's say I have a new baby and so I'm not making dinner for my family, and if I have a thought, I should be making dinner. If I was a better mother, I would be making dinner. I'm sure Bree's still making dinner for her family with her newborn. Whatever. If I have thoughts like this, then I'm gonna generate guilt for myself. But they're just thoughts, they're not facts. Thought thoughts aren't facts, they're not, I always say they're not true and they're not not true. Like we could we could make a solid case for any thought, probably, that you're having, and I could also make a counter-argument against your thoughts. So they're just thoughts, is what I'm saying, right? So if you don't want to feel guilty, then you have to think something different. And that's where understanding what's happening in the brain during change, I think is really important. I like to think of my brain capacity, my ability to um, again, use the prefrontal part of my brain, which is the human part of the brain. No other animal has that part of the brain. Um it's in limited supply. I only have a certain amount of it each day. That's why if I try to overuse that part of my brain, I am gonna shut down. I am gonna have a mental breakdown, or I'm just gonna become exhausted or depressed or non-functioning. So just like my I have a certain amount of money and I budget how I'm gonna spend that money, right? The same is true with my brain. I have a certain amount of brain power each day. And I have to budget how I'm gonna use that brain power. And whether you do it consciously ahead of time on paper or not, it isn't as important to me as knowing. You just you have a limited supply, as we all do, of brain power. So if I'm needing a lot of brain power to figure out how to care for a newborn, and I have less sleep, which gives me less brain power than I normally have when there's a newborn, right? And I'm I'm having to figure out how to uh incorporate this new person into our family, all the things that go along with a newborn, I simply don't have any extra. It's like my money just got tighter. I don't have now the extra to eat out and go get my nails done and what have you. So we're not doing that this month. Our money's tight. Same is true with your brain power during change. I'm not making dinner because I need to conserve my brain power. I need to conserve my energy, if you will. And so when you understand that, then you don't have to make it mean that you're not a good mother or you're not a good person or your kids are gonna suffer, whatever, your kids are gonna be fine. People can go without. It's okay for all of us to sacrifice at times during a transition. And so you have to change the story, you have to change the channel on what you're thinking. And if you're judging yourself, you're gonna feel guilty. But that's optional. That's optional.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I love that changing the lens and giving yourself permission to kind of be a mess through transitions or like you said, just just take a step back. And I think for me at least, I'm using the baby analogy because I'm gonna have my fourth baby in November. So I'm like trying to mentally prepare. Thank you. Um, but I've I have learned a lot because that first baby, I did everything you said. I was like, I should be doing more, I should have my body back already, I should, you know, be handling this better, I should be enjoying this more. Like I had all of these shoulds, and I felt so guilty, but my entire world had completely flipped upside down and I didn't know how to navigate it. And so I think when we hold space for ourselves to kind of fumble and figure it out, we're so much, it's so much more of an enjoyable process. So by my third baby, I did give myself permission. I was like, you know what? It might take a little longer than you think. It's okay to take naps in the middle of the day. It's okay if your house isn't always clean. Like this is a season of life, and you can just enjoy this little baby and you can let go of the guilt and the comparison and just enjoy it. And that was a game changer for me.
SPEAKER_00It's so good, Bree. And it reminds me of I think overall, and especially as women, we need to give ourselves permission to be a mess. Yes. We just do. I mean, half the time I've got my act together and I'm on it and I'm getting stuff done. And half the time I'm a mess. I always tell one of my clients gave me a mug that says hot mess, because I always say, I'm a hot mess. You're right. Half the time. And here's the thing we're doing.
SPEAKER_02I don't believe you, Jody. You have to give us an example. Give us an example in your life because I feel like you always have it together. So let's hear. Where do we even?
SPEAKER_00I mean, it's it's the truth. Even just now, if I if I look around me right now at my office, like there, the area behind me where I am need to be on camera to teach calls is nice and clean, but the rest of it is a mess. There's like notebooks. I don't know why I own like 5,000 notebooks and books I intend to read. And it just there really is clutter all around me. And sometimes I clean that up and sometimes it just gets out of hand again. It's just the way that we as human beings are, and whatever mess looks like for each of us is different, right? For me, it looks like clutter and maybe overeating, emotionally eating, and um not following through on my goals and it not getting everything done on my to-do list. Half the time I'm really good at it. Half the time I'm not. And when you embrace that, a couple of things happen. First of all, you build a connection with yourself that's so powerful. And it's, you know, I'm 48 years old, so it's taken me some time, but I I finally learned how to go, hey Jody, you sort of dropped the ball today. That's all right. I love you anyway. What's going on? Do you need something? Do we need to like recruit some help? Do we need to hire a coach? Do we need to do we have too much on our plate? Do we need to reassess our goals? Like I can have a I can still acknowledge my shortcomings and have it be a compassionate, useful conversation with myself. Whereas before it was just a bunch of self-loathing, uh guilty thoughts that didn't help at all. They didn't progress me, they didn't change anything, they just felt bad. And so you when you can embrace like, hey, you're hey Jody, you're kind of a hot mess today. What's going on? With love and follow it up with I love you anyway, then something amazing happens. You you don't have to hide your mess anymore from people. So if somebody else comes along and notices where you drop the ball, it's instead of getting defensive, it's like, yeah, you're right. Sometimes I do that. Sometimes I'm a mess. Sometimes I'm selfish, sometimes I'm you nailed it. And and so there's no more defensiveness, there's no more arguing. And um, you also become so much more open and compassionate towards everyone else because you realize they're all a hot mess too, half the time. Like we just are. And it's relatable. It's that's exactly what I was gonna say. It's so relatable. We actually connect through our shortcomings and weaknesses much easier than through our strengths. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Yes. If I hear that Jody Moore struggles with emotional eating, I'm like, okay, she's human. Okay, so my goodness. All right, we got this. That's right. That's I love that. Yeah. It's a important skill, yeah. So you actually are perfectly honing into my next question, which is a lot of my training clients, when, and I I shouldn't say training clients, I should just say people in general, when they're going through some of these changes in life, they tend to turn to unhealthy habits, whether it's like drinking, alcohol, or emotional eating or shopping or disassociating, whatever it is, they turn to these unhealthy habits to try to cope. So, what would you say to those people? Do you have any advice for them on what Ways that they can maybe, you know, cope with that a little healthier or address it in a way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I would say first thing the first mistake that we all tend to make after we emotionally eat or whatever the um I call it a buffer, which is a way to escape negative emotion. We do it with food, we can do it on social media. You know, for some people it's drugs and alcohol and things, but for others it's like shopping online or scrolling or in Netflix or whatever. And and not in some of these things, I I'm not opposed to eating treats or watching Netflix, but if if I'm doing it to escape emotion, yes, then the num the number one mistake I see people make is that they beat themselves up afterwards, like we were just talking about. They feel terrible. They're like, I'm so weak, what's the matter with me? I'm never gonna lose the weight or what have you. Um, that does not help because remember, the reason we're doing it in the first place is because we felt bad. And so for a few minutes while I'm eating the treat or whatever, I feel better, and then I move into feeling even worse if I beat myself up for it. Yeah. So I'm like, why are we doing that? Why don't we just recognize that the solution to feeling bad is to try to feel better in an in a real way. Eating food or scrolling social media is just a distraction from feeling bad. It's just a temporary release from feeling bad. It's it doesn't ultimately help me feel better. So I'm not gonna beat myself up for it. I'm gonna remember, oh, there I go again, being a human. Who's it's hard being a human. It's hard to feel negative emotion, especially when there are so many quick escapes in our world. And so I chose to escape it in that moment by eating. All right, it makes sense. It's not a terror, I'm not a terrible person. I haven't done a terrible thing. In fact, I might as well like let the the enjoyment of the food linger a little longer rather than shut it down. I'm like, I just ate licorice and it tasted good. Why don't I just savor that instead of getting myself up? So, anyway, that's number one is don't feel bad. You're just a human doing what the brain is wired to do. Okay. Um, the next thing though that I like to remember is okay, this negative emotion is because of what I'm thinking, and it's an opportunity for me to understand something, to understand something about myself, about my world, about my life. And that's why we have negative emotion, right? It's designed to drive us to improve our lives, to improve the world, even. Our ancestors lived in caves, and and one day they were like, I'm tired of being cold and it's always so dark at night. And so somebody figured out how to start fire, but they only figured that out because they got tired of being dark and cold. So, like negative emotion, pain, if you will, in that way, drives us to invent and create and become and contribute. So if I just buffer it away, if I distract from it with a snack or social media, and then my negative emotion becomes about that bad habit, then I'm missing an opportunity to evolve myself or my world or my life or contribute in general. So I sometimes like to be like, let's let this emotion be here and see what it is trying to tell me. Because ultimately you will solve for it. But either you'll solve for it in a temporary, fleeting, unhealthy habit that you that might create different problems in your life, or you'll solve for it in a real long-lasting life. I mean, life-changing sounds a little big. It can be big, but it might even just be a little habit, a healthy habit that you develop kind of ways. But you have to allow the emotion to be there long enough for you to really understand what's happening.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I love that. My mom actually does um cranial sacral therapy, and she's really big on what if you don't actually feel those emotions and address them, they'll be stored in your body and they will manifest in other ways and it will make you sick, or you'll be susceptible to illness or whatever, you know, or maybe it skews your reality a little bit because you don't let go and you don't, you know. So anyway, I love that you you do have to feel it. You do. That's true. Like I like that you address that because I think sometimes in our culture there can be toxic positivity where you feel like you just have to instantly move on or instantly be an optimist. And this is actually my biggest issue because I'm a number seven on the Enneagram. And so I'm always trying to find the silver lining because I hate feeling sad. I hate feeling like any negative emotion. So I'm actually the candidate here. Like anytime I have a hard emotion. I'm like, oh no, that's okay. You don't need to feel that way. No, it's fine. It's fine. Like, what where's the good? What can you do? And Adam's like, it's okay to feel sad sometimes.
SPEAKER_00So let me ask you this, Spree. What does sadness feel like in your body? Do you know? Heavy.
SPEAKER_02Heavy where? Yeah, in my chest. I feel like I can't breathe. It's always on my chest.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So a lot of people describe negative emotions that way as like a heaviness on your chest, whether it be sad, anxiety, even fear feels a little bit like that. Uh frustration. That's often the answer. Is it's like a heaviness on my chest. So then I'll ask, well, can you breathe? Does it feel like you're gonna suffocate?
SPEAKER_02I mean, I can breathe. Yeah, I know I can breathe. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. So all it is is like a it's like a heaviness on your chest, but not like I'm I can't breathe unless we really resist it. And then it can escalate. That's what a panic attack is, right? It's a feeling like I'm out of breath. But in most cases, if you if you relax, you take it, take this is, I think, part of the reason why breathing deeply is a uh really useful way to process emotion. Like, yes, it might require that you help take some more oxygen into your lungs, breathe in, breathe out, and notice that you can breathe, and it's just a heaviness. It's just a little bit heavy on your chest. You exercise, you lift weights, and you you work out and you make your body work way harder than what it needs to to process sadness. Right. Right? It's not like you're lifting a it's not like somebody put a huge dumbbell on your chest. There's just sort of a a weight there. So people who don't want to feel negative emotion, it's because they've never paused and allowed it and noticed that it's not that painful. It's not that big of a deal, especially when you allow it. What's painful is resisting it and pushing it down and then it intensifies, or like you said, your your momte just storing it away for years and having it build up and create problems. But just allowing emotions in the in the moment is not painful. It actually, I think, is sort of an alive feeling. It's part because it's part of our human experience, right? To feel sometimes sad. And so it when you allow it, it can actually expand your worldview and connect you to yourself. And then when you're not afraid of negative emotion, that's when you really take off in your life. Because most of us hold ourselves back because we're afraid of being disappointed, afraid of embarrassment, afraid of failure. But if you're like, I could just do embarrassment if I need to, it's not that big a deal. Then your life really explodes.
SPEAKER_02That's so funny you say that because with my personality, I really don't like discomfort, which is funny because I really try to push myself in my business. But like I don't like being pregnant because it's uncomfortable. I don't like, you know, the newborn stage because I feel like I'm stuck in my house and I feel very claustrophobic. And where I'm I've really grown a lot, that's my natural tendency, but I've really grown a lot to be like, no, it's okay. It's just a season of life. You're gonna be fine. But one of your podcasts that helped me the most with this actually was you were talking about anxiety. And I I don't, I've never really struggled with anxiety or had I I never really understood it when people was like, I have anxiety. I didn't really get it. But this podcast you talked about, you said this one phrase, and it actually became my mantra. I did a little story on it. Um, you said it's okay to be uncomfortable. And I was like, okay, that's that's I gotta adopt that mantra. It's okay to be a little bit uncomfortable. It's okay to, you know, be uncomfortable with this pregnancy because I get a beautiful baby at the end. Or I actually applied it to, since I'm a personal trainer, I applied it to my clients. And I was like, yeah, it's gonna be hard to work out every day. It's gonna be hard to hit your macro numbers. It's gonna be hard to do the meditations that I'm having you do, but it's okay. That's okay to be in discomfort because in our world, you were talking about how we we just have this instant gratification. Like if you're hot, you turn on the AC. If you're bored, you turn on the TV. Like we just have instant gratification. And so we've kind of become a little bit weak in that. And so my mantra, I literally wrote it down was it's okay to be uncomfortable. And that has helped me so much.
SPEAKER_00So thank you. It's so good. And the same way, like like you know, with your clients, in fact, they need to be, they need to be lifting heavy. If they want to build muscle, they've got to lift heavy enough weights that the muscle is sore and it breaks down. And as it rebuilds itself, it comes back stronger, right? That's actually true for us emotionally as well. If we want to grow emotionally, we have to be uncomfortable enough that we quote unquote break down. And as we move through that and process that emotion, we come back stronger. It's stronger meaning more patient, more compassionate, more courageous, more of all the things we we all want to be. It's the exact same thing as what our bodies do.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I love that. Well, I love that you just applied it to lifting weights because that's my love language. Yeah, I know. But yes, you're you are right. You have to be in the discomfort in order to see the change. So, my question to you, I have a for my listeners that are trying to really change their lifestyle and they're really trying to live this healthy lifestyle, and maybe it's really hard to change these habits that have been ingrained in them for a long time. Like, I have some friends who they just never were taught this stuff. Like, I take it for granted that my mom is very healthy and I've been working out since I was in sixth grade, and we ate like steel cutouts for breakfast, and we had to drink our protein shakes when we got home from school. So this is just like who I am. But when I'm trying to help someone who this is an entirely new concept for them, and they're trying to really make this big life change. Do you have any advice for them to really make it stick and make it be a part of their life for a long time?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think you have to be really compassionate with yourself. Um, I I love what you already said, Brie. It's okay to be uncomfortable. But um also, and you alluded to this also, where remembering that this is temporary, because just like our brains memorize, you know, we talked about memorizing learning to drive or or brushing your teeth or what have you. Our brains also, though, are neuroplastic. So they are we have the ability to change our memorized patterns. So at night when we sleep, our brains actually do what's called pruning synapses, meaning anything that we haven't used for a while, it will get rid of. That's why you all of a sudden are like, wait, what was the name of that my best friend in second grade? I can't believe I forgot her name. She was my best friend. Because your brain, after a while, goes, I don't think this is necessary. We haven't accessed it in a long time. Let's get rid of it. And so um, learning to change your eating habits or what have you is going to feel uncomfortable. Your brain's gonna resist it. Um, the dopamine hits that come from sugar and concentrated foods like that also play a role where your brain, I always remind myself, okay, my brain just thinks that this licorice is very important to my survival and that if I don't eat it, I will surely die. But but I know logically that's not true. And so once I every time I eat it, I reinforce that belief in my brain. But if I don't eat it, eventually my brain will realize, oh, we haven't died. In fact, we're feeling better than ever from eating less licorice. And so it will, your brain will adjust. So when you know it's temporary, you know, I do think that you have to take it at whatever pace you can handle. Because I think there's a tipping point. If we try to go too extreme too quickly, then um again, you'll your brain will reject that enough. You'll probably give in. But if you know it's temporary and and you want the benefit, it's like you said, it's like being pregnant. I it's not comfortable. I don't love it, but I'm gonna have a baby in the end. So let's go. It's the same idea. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Let's just get up and go. We got this. It's interesting that you were talking about um the like neural pathways in your brain. I actually just started doing neurofeedback for my son. And it is fascinating to learn how pliable our brains are.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because he's like, yeah, this is just a pathway that has been learned and we can change it. I'm like, how can you change it? He's like, you can do these brain exercises and you can literally strengthen pathways in your brain so that instead of the reaction being, you know, upset, angry, like screaming, crying, kicking, the reaction can be a little more calm. And I'm like, that is incredible. He's like, yeah, our brains are very pliable. So, like when you say you're repeating patterns over and over, your brain is literally making a new pathway that's getting stronger and stronger and stronger, and you can change. That's the coolest part, is he's like, you have no idea. Like, I've worked on people who have had anxiety their whole life, but it's just because they've strengthened the anxiety pathways, and then we work with them and we strengthen a different pathway, and they can overcome their anxiety. And it's just fascinating to me. So I love that you talk about that.
SPEAKER_00And that's the same work we do in my coaching program, is we're just we have to first identify what the problem pathways are because uh, and kids' brains are even more neuroplastic than adults. Um, but ours, ours still are. And so with adults, it's sometimes it's a a thought that sounds really useful, right? It's a it's a thought like, I just want to be a good mom. Sounds like such a positive, like of course you would have that thought. But in some circumstances, that thought is causing you problems. It's making you feel guilty, it's making you notice all the ways in which you're not a good mom, which is ironically enough, actually making you a worse mom because now you feel bad and you're, you know. So anyway, long story short, in coaching, that's the same thing we're doing is we're we're recognizing um neuroplath neuropathways, excuse me, in the brain and calling them up and questioning them. And then we're rerouting. We have to find a new path. Your brain will want to hop on the same trail it's been walking on for years, and we're like, no, we're gonna let we're gonna cut through the grass this way instead. And just finding that path and then walking it a few times will get you headed in the right direction and you can blaze a new trail in your brain. But yeah, it really is amazing what we're capable of.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's incredible. Okay, um, I have one more question for you, and it is actually it was a post that you did, but I thought my listeners would really benefit from it because it kind of goes into the when you're trying to do a new transition in your life, at least with changing your healthy habits, one of your questions that you our listeners had asked was that she wanted to take care of her body and like put herself as a priority, but she feels like she's not worthy. And so she self-sabotages. And she asks, like, what can she do to get past that stage where she wants to do something about it? I have a friend like this where she complains to me like every week about her body and where she's at, but she like can't do anything about it. Like it's just like this weird block. So, what would you, what advice would you give that person?
SPEAKER_00Well, so it's it has to we we think that if I could just change my body, if I could get it in shape, lose the weight, whatever, then it would love my body and feel good about myself. That's what our that like logically makes sense to our brains. But you and I both know that's actually not the way it works. We've seen people all the time who lose weight and still just hate themselves for another reason or still hate their bodies, find something different, right? And often that is not a sustainable way to lose weight. It might work, you might be able to lose the weight, but you're probably not gonna keep it off if you did it hating your body. So it has to go in reverse. Instead of trying to change your body so that you can love your body, you have to love your body, and then you'll be able to change your body if you choose. And it sounds so counterintuitive. People always say, well, if I if I love my body as it is, then why would I why would I change it? Why would I go get healthy? And I say, because actually, your if you love your body, your body loves healthy food and exercise and water and sleep. All the things that actually result in weight loss or or or health or whatever you're seeking in your body are the things that your body loves. So there's the difference between I'm not gonna eat cake today because I my body's disgusting and I don't deserve it, versus like, I love you, body, and I know if I eat this cake, you're gonna have to deal with processing the results of that. And we've had enough cake for a while. So today I'm gonna take care of you by not feeding you cake. It's a totally different conversation in your head, and therefore will create a different result. And so loving your body is the your friend can't get moving because of how much she loathes herself in her body. That's 100% true. Yeah, if she decided to embrace that her body is perfection and that your body is way more than how it looks, first of all, and second of all, all bodies are funny looking, and whatever she's got to find some believable thoughts that will get her moving. And and then I do think, and and you can tell me if this has been your experience, Bree, but I think just getting started with exercise or eating well is the getting started is the hardest step. Once you get started, momentum comes with you. Yes, one hundred percent. So I would say that her problem is the the body hate and the self-loathing. That's why she can't get moving. And that that is solved by paying attention to the stories in your head. That's thought work. And that's changing. And you can do it at the same time that you Yeah, and you can do it while you also go for a walk. And I'm not saying you have to wait and fix your head before you start exercising and eating well, but I'm saying you gotta be doing it at least alongside it, not hating yourself into deprivation and exercise. That is not going to create what you want long term.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So can I ask you a personal question? You're like, sure. Well, all these thousands of people are listening. So, how did you because I know you've had your own fitness journey and you've you've done great. So, can you share kind of what stuck with you and what was the biggest change in your fitness journey?
SPEAKER_00Well, I think I'm gonna be on a fitness journey for my whole life. And what I mean by that is um I'm constantly evolving in my mind the way I think about myself and my body. And um, and I I don't know that I'll ever undo the programming that we probably all received growing up in the culture we did about how bodies should look and be. I don't know that I'll ever get rid of it altogether. So I just want to preface with that. I still have the thoughts of um, gosh, I wish this part were bigger, this part were smaller, and and I'm getting older now. Um, you know, I'm coming up on 50, so now there's the aging that process that's happening. So I don't think it's a journey I'll ever be done with. But what I have done really well that I'm really proud of is that work I just described. I I know how I've lost weight by hating myself. And I know how that goes. Right. And I've lost weight by losing. Loving my and losing weight is such a like a terrible way to measure it. But I but I did need to lose some weight. And I also was building muscle and things like that. Um, I want to be clear on that. But at any rate, I've gotten myself healthy by loving myself. And so I know the difference.
SPEAKER_02And the vibration is so much higher when it's coming from a place of love.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And it's actually for me, when I when I do it coming from hate, it feels like I'm on a roller coaster. It's either super exciting because the scale is down and my genes are fitting again, but then it's so discouraging and depressing when I over ate and the scale is up. And it feels like a roller coaster. Versus when you do it from self-love, there's still some disappointment and some, oh, that's cool. But it's more like rolling hills. And because I'm not counting on the change in my body in order to feel good and love myself, I'm doing that work first. Then it just becomes almost more like I always say it has to be kind of like doing a puzzle. Just like, hey, let's see what, let's see if we could get this to work. Let's see if I could get my body to access this fat. Let's see if I could, what would happen if I add protein? What would happen if I lift more weights? What would happen if I do this? It's sort of like a science experiment, right? And so when you're doing a puzzle, it's like, oh, cool, I found that piece, but you're not like, oh my gosh, I can't find the piece. I'm such a loser. What's the matter with me?
SPEAKER_02You know, it's true. I feel like your happiness is based off of your outcome when you're coming from a place of hate. And when you're coming from a place of love, the outcome doesn't really make that big of a difference. You're still putting in the work, you're still successful, and you feel good about yourself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I honestly like on the I was thinking about this the other day because I for the last month or so have just I've been traveling a lot and then have all other kinds of excuses why I haven't exercised as much. And then I get in that slump of it's just hard to start again. And so the other day I just got up and got on the Peloton first thing in the morning. And the whole day I was like, I just, yes, I have like a little bit more energy and everything. Like exercise does all those things for my body, but I also just respect it's almost like I'm taking care of you, body. I got you. Sorry, I neglected you the last few weeks, but you know what? I'm back. It's like a relationship. If I neglect a relationship with another person, after a while I'm gonna have to be like, hey, sorry, I've been not very available, but you know what? I'm back and I'm committed to you, and we're gonna work on it.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00And so it's yeah, that feeling of self-respect is is better than any to me. It's more more rewarding and more valuable and more long-lasting than the like, oh, my I fit into the next size down on my jeans now. That's fine and all, but not the best. Yes.
SPEAKER_02You nailed it on the head, Jody. You oh, thank you. Yeah. That is when I see clients grab hold of that concept that you just said, they're unstoppable, they go, they can keep going for their entire life, and they really make it a relationship and it is a life change. And it's so fun to watch. And the clients that are so focused on just the outcome, just how their body looks, it's empty. It's a very empty feeling, and they will never be happy. And so, and so I'm always trying to have them, you know, listen to your podcast, listen to my podcast, you know, meditate, find that connection with your soul, find that connection with your body, get your deeper why. And so it's really fun to hear your journey. Thank you for sharing that. I think that's gonna really resonate with a lot of my listeners. So thank you. Um, well, I want to leave with your one of the things that you say all the time that is my favorite is thoughts are optional. So, is there anything you'd like to leave our listeners with? Thoughts are optional.
SPEAKER_00Thoughts are optional, which is the best news ever, because before I learned that, uh we tend to think that our thoughts are just us observing the world, but mostly what's happening in our minds is our interpretation of the world. And so I'm personally not, I'm not saying sit in front of the mirror and chant positive affirmations at yourself that you don't believe. I'm just saying of any given circumstance in your life, there are millions of possible ways to think about it. And most of the time, like 99% of the time, you can just let your default brain choose the thoughts and it's gonna work just fine. But 1% of the time, if you choose it, pick an area. That's why I love um what you do, Brie, with helping people with their health and fitness, because it will give you an opportunity to examine thoughts that aren't serving you. Thoughts about your body, thoughts about whether or not you can do it, thoughts about food, and just having the ability to look at your thoughts, to decide if they're not serving you and redirect to new ones is a life skill that will change your in every area of your life. Even it pick one area, pick your health and use it to learn to manage your brain, and your life will become exponentially better.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So powerful, Jodi. You're so good. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. I think that a lot of women are gonna benefit from this one. You're just a wealth of knowledge. I'm very grateful. Thank you for having me, Brie. It's been really fun. Uh, would you like to tell our listeners where they can find you if they want to do any of your programs or listen to your podcasts or follow you on Instagram?
SPEAKER_00Sure, yeah. I'm uh Jodie Moore Coaching is my business. So that's my Instagram and on social. You can find me there. Um, my podcast is called Better Than Happy. If you're a podcast person, you probably are if you're listening to this. And then um, you can just head to Jodymore.com and we have all kinds of free resources or really inexpensive. If you want to try out coaching, we'll have a really inexpensive coaching workshop you can use just to kind of try it out. So there's lots of resources there as well.
SPEAKER_02Awesome. And I'm going to link all of that in the show notes for our listeners as well. So thank you, Jody. Have such an amazing day. I'm so grateful for you and all of your knowledge. Thank you, Brie. Take care. Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more than you know. If you are looking for a program to help with self-confidence, to lose weight, get in shape, and work on your mental, physical, and emotional health. Check out my training programs on www.bodyby.com. My team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body Bible app, where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body by Bree training program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.
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