Changing Your Story with Andrea Carver

Join Bree and her mom, Andrea Carver, as they talk about Changing Your Story to get what you want out of life.

Andrea Carver is a massage and cranialsacral therapist, as well as a meditation practitioner. She has helped thousands to heal their body, mind, and spirit through increased understanding and a willingness to let go of limiting beliefs.

To find out more about Andrea visit her website, www.andreawellness.com

Learn more about Bree at www.bodybybree.com or follow her on Instagram @bodybybreefitness 

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SPEAKER_01 0:01

Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health, and feel your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the Better Meet with Body by Breeze podcast. I'm your host, Bree. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur, and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development, and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together. Welcome to the Better Me podcast. So, first I'm going to introduce my mom. My mom is a cranial sacral therapist and LMT, and she's certified in 25 different modalities. She's a licensed massage therapist and she's been doing energy work for over 30 years. And fun fact, she also has six kids and 17 grandchildren, and she's been married for 41 years to my cute little dad. So I wanted her to come on here and do a few episodes with me because she is such a resource to thousands and thousands of people. She's a very, very gifted healer and she's an amazing therapist. And I wanted to share some of these gems that I grew up with, knowing that I feel like everybody should know because it just helps your life so much. And just these simple tools can completely change and shift your life. So let's talk about changing your story, Mom. Do you want to explain what that means to change your story?

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Sure. I have found that 30 years of doing this cranial work and listening to people, everyone comes in with a story. And sometimes that story they have had since they were a child. And they continue to look through that lens, maybe a five-year-old lens or a seven-year-old lens of when that situation happened to them. And they will continue to see everything through that lens. And they will blame and justify their behavior because of the way they see that experience. So someone could come in and say, Um, like one lady came in and she said, you know, I'm just sick and tired of the way people treat me. I'm sick and tired of how my spouse treats me. He doesn't have any respect for me, he doesn't validate me, doesn't listen to me, I don't feel valued from him. My kids don't value me, my kids don't listen to me. I feel like my coworkers don't have any respect for me, they don't value or listen to me. I feel like my um boss doesn't give me any credit for anything I do, I don't ever feel valued from my boss. And so I keep hearing an underlying theme that they don't feel listened, validated, or valued. And I hear that over and over again. And so because maybe they didn't get that through a certain situation when they were younger, they tend to look at life through that same lens and see that other people are doing that to them and they carry that same story throughout their whole adulthood. And so they will attract people or situations that will continually validate that story in them. And so, you know, I notice that people will say, Um, I have friends, my friends don't ever call me. I'm always the one that has to call them. My friends don't remember my birthday, I always remember their birthdays. I know ever get compliments from my friends. I always compliment them, they don't compliment me. Um, they're constantly seeing this through that lens so they attract people or situations, and energetically, that person doesn't know that they're not remembering her birthday or they're not initiating it first, but they're just kind of playing into her story. So energetically, she transfers that on to people around them, and they end up playing out her story so that she can constantly feel justified for the way that she feels and her story can be true to her because now she has facts. People really don't initiate it, she's always the one that initiates things, and so it people don't care about her. She's always the one that cares about people, and her husband is the same, and her parents were the same. And so if you're constantly seeing and they go from job to job to job because a boss, because co-workers, they're all the same everywhere they go, and they keep changing jobs, wanting someone outside of themselves to value them. But really, the bottom line, the whole story is they're not validating, they don't value themselves as a person. And so, how can they see anyone else doing that for them? It's impossible. So the lesson is to do the same thing to yourself. All of us have a higher self, a higher spirit that communicates with us, that wants us to be better and to improve. And so we're you think about it, if you hear your higher self inside of you saying, you know, don't sleep in, have mind over mattress, get up and exercise. You'll feel better if you get exercise, and then your ego saying you want to sleep more, you want to stay in, and then you don't do that, then you feel crappy about yourself because you didn't exercise, is telling you not to eat that extra donut and you eat it anyway, and you ignore yourself, you don't listen to yourself, then you're not gonna feel listened to from other people if you don't even listen to your own higher self. If you cut yourself off when you're trying to hear your spirit tell you to believe in yourself and to value yourself, then you'll cut other people will cut you off too. If you're starting to feel situations of when you um don't value yourself, like you know what, I'm really tired. I'm gonna go to sleep tonight early and get my rest so I can get up early in the morning, but you let everything else get in your way before you do that, and you don't value yourself enough to get your eight hours of sleep at night, then you'll see other people aren't valuing you. Or if you don't value your own needs, like I don't feel um heard from yourself, you're not valuing, you're not taking time to heal yourself, taking time to maybe do something out of the day that regenerates or fills you, to read a good uplifting book, to meditate, to, you know, have a relationship with God, those things that really fill your cup and fill your soul. If you don't value yourself enough to take the time out of the day to do that to yourself, you're not gonna, nobody else is gonna do that for you either. And so, you know, you'll constantly look outside of yourself for someone to validate and uplift you and make you feel important when really you don't make yourself feel important. You're the one that's not listening to yourself, you're the one that's not going to bed early, you're the one that's not getting up early and exercising, you're not valuing yourself enough to do the things that you know you need to do to make yourself feel better, uh, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So, how do you expect other people to give that to you? So you'll always feel short. Your story will always be that, you'll always see it through that lens until you take the initiative to fix it in yourself and create a new story. And maybe being aware and saying, is that really how it is? Is this really what's happening? Or is it my perception? Is this person really doing this to me, or have I not valuing myself? I'm not listening to myself. So when you change the story within your mind, in your own mind, the people around you change.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

So, how do people like know what their story is? What if they're like, I don't know what my story is? How do I change my story if I don't know what it is? Is it just reoccurring thoughts that happen over and over and over?

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah, that never seem to have a change. Like you see, like this person, her coworkers, her boss, her husband, her kids all had the same issues with her. So what's the common denominator? Is it the c is it the boss? Is it the coworkers? Is it her children? Is it her spouse, or is the common denominator her, herself? Or even just saying, I never have time to exercise, really? But you have time to do a phone call, or you have time to do a TV show, or you have time. I mean, it's what's your story?

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Well, I remember I did a little IGTV about my story after I had the baby, and my story over and over and over, and you heard me say this, mom, because I would tell you all the time was nothing's working. I don't know what my body is doing, nothing's working, nothing I do works. I tried everything, something's wrong with my body, something is wrong. And I just would say that over and over and over, and that kind of became my story. And then I had to be like, okay, stop saying that story if you want it to change. Like, it's not gonna change if energetically I continue to feed that energy.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

So maybe that could be a story as well.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

And when you let go of the story, you found a hormone specialist and you found people that gave I started figuring everything out, and you had solutions. Yes, but if you don't get out of your story, you never find the solution.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Exactly. And it can work for your marriage, it can work for your job, it can work for your health and fitness, anything. Like even in marriage, like I told Adam, I I had this story in my head that Adam works so much, you know, and I'm like, he's always gone, he's always working. And so I would validate myself by every time he would leave. I'm like, see, you're gone again. There you go, you're gone again. But instead, I started, I'm like, I don't like this story. It's not making me feel good. I don't like how it makes me feel, I don't like how it makes Adam feel. I'm gonna change my story too, you are such a good dad. When you're home, you're present. When you're here, you're happy and you're silly and you're fun. And I love when you're home and you're a good husband. And the second I started doing that, my feelings changed. And I was like, he is very present, actually, you know, and I started seeing it differently.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

So you looked at him through a different lens.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

The lens changed. And if this per this client of mine that was like this, that felt this way about every single person and always went from job to job to job and and and never had this good marriage, and once she started changing her story about how she felt about herself, that she valued herself, she listened to what her spirit was telling her, her higher self to improve her things. She started feeding her own cup. She started reading good positive things in the morning and meditating and having good communion with God and her higher self and taking time to listen and going on walks in nature, then her whole situation changed. Her whole lens looked differently because she changed her story of taking care of herself.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

So when you change the story within your own mind, the people around you change. And that's our message for today. Thank you, Mom. Thank you for doing this podcast with me. We've been having so much fun, and I just have been having having her here. She's going back to France. She's been on a mission for the LDS Church, and she's going back for another year, probably in July, they said maybe. Yeah, hopefully, just whenever France opens up. So I'm just soaking it in, having her here with me. And then when she gets off of her mission, I'm gonna be working a lot more with her because I just think that more people need to hear her message. She's so gifted and so talented, and she works one-on-one with people doing cranial sacral therapy, but I want to get her messages out to more people. So I'm trying to kind of use my platform to do that because she blesses and heals so many people. So, anyway, um, we're just so excited. Thank you, mom, for coming. And remember, you're so much more than your body. You are capable, strong, and resilient. And you do have the power to change your mindset. Have a beautiful day.